


Must I spell it out for you?

by BoreasAnemos



Series: Redder than her hair [3]
Category: Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Anger Management, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Clueless Misato, Communication, Consensual Kink, Corporal Punishment, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Intimacy, Kink With Plot, Late Night Conversations, Plot With Kink, Pushy Sub, Reluctant Dom, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Spanking, Strapping, Trust, Trust Kink, Trust porn, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, bastinado
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2021-04-13
Packaged: 2021-04-21 22:53:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 38
Words: 228,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22121167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoreasAnemos/pseuds/BoreasAnemos
Summary: Asuka hits Shinji in anger. Soon after, Asuka has pangs of conscience and soothes them by requesting Shinji to spank her. At first, there is confusion. Then, it turns into a ritual - and something begins to change between the two teenagers.A slow-burn A/S story with a lot of spanking and lot of emotions.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Shikinami Asuka Langley
Series: Redder than her hair [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544575
Comments: 424
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **On characters’ age:** this short story takes place during Evangelion Rebuild 2.22, so all relevant pilots are 13 or 14. That, connected with rather frank descriptions, is the reason for the **Underage** warning. See ‘on content’ for details.
> 
> **On content:** this is a strong example of ‘gardener’ type of writing, or of characters taking over. Initially, this was supposed to be exactly what the series entails in general: Asuka is spanked by yet another person and someone learns something about themselves. But as I kept writing it, I realized that contrary to adults, teenagers will have far more trouble understanding their emotions, not to mention separating their feelings from their impulses. And so, the odd journey of the two teenagers came to be. After all, despite their enormous mental issues, those are still just that: teenagers with teenager nature – and they act like it. The story thus contains: teenage sexuality, a lot of fumbling and rather irresponsible BDSM, and some emotional mess. Caveat lector.
> 
> **On sources:** The story was created when only three Rebuild movies premiered, and as such disregards all character background material that could appear in the fourth movie. The gaps in the movie characterization, where necessary, were filled based on the TV series and my own invention.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters, concepts, or names. This is the work of a pastiche.

_Misato Katsuragi’s apartment; a peaceful evening_

A sound of splashing was followed by a scream, wet footsteps, the sound of suddenly opening sliding door, and finally Asuka’s panicked outburst: “S-some sort of weird creature is in the bathroom!”

As if in response, Pen-pen paraded in front of the bewildered girl in a perfectly nonchalant manner.

“It’s a penguin” Shinji explained in an amused voice. “Its name is Pen-pen–”

He turned to face the scene and immediately choked on his words when he noticed Asuka’s lack of clothing; his face started to rapidly turn red.

Asuka realized the reason less than two seconds later, immediately turning equally red; in her case, the reaction was as far from freezing as humanly possible. A well-placed kick reduced Shinji to a semi-conscious state scant seconds later.

“You’re both becoming more honest with each other” Misato remarked, completely ignoring her responsibilities. “Things are going nicely. Right, Pen-pen?”

***

The evening air brought a well-needed relief from the heat of the day – but did nothing to relieve Asuka’s anxiety. She was perfectly certain than the idiot well deserved the kick she delivered – after all, he saw her naked, and such insult could not stand!

This is what she had been repeating herself for the last few hours. Despite that, she was completely unable to squash another voice that was telling her the opposite.

Finally, she opened the usually-locked drawer and fished up the hand puppet with hair made of red wool and a simple dress stitched from patches.

“He deserved it. He didn’t have to turn around” she stated once more, this time out loud.

“He didn’t know you were like this. That was excessive and he should have hit you back, or at least demand apology” she replied to herself in a slightly altered voice, doll moving on her hand.

“He still shouldn’t have stared”, she sulked.

“But he didn’t exactly _stare_, did he? He just froze in surprise, and then you kicked him in the face”, she countered in the higher-pitched voice.

Asuka grinned. “Yes, my combat reflexes kicked in.”

“And so you hurt him. You’re lucky he didn’t get injured. And Misato should have done something”, the doll kept moving as it was ‘speaking’.

“What she was supposed to do, throw me out? Spank me?” Asuka replied in a mocking voice.

“She’s your caretaker, she can’t ‘throw you out’. But she is responsible for you, and she has the right to… discipline you”, the doll’s voice returned.

Asuka’s lips tightened. That was not something she had ever thought of; corporal punishment was never really a part of her training; what came closest to it were occasional extra laps or ‘give me twenty’ – a series of punitive push-ups when she was being stubborn or talked back to her coaches or commanders. After all, her own pride and perfectionism were enough to keep her achievements top-notch, and her devotion to Evangelion training left her no time for getting into any serious trouble. Still, she knew what such punishment could entail, and she was not eager to go there.

Unless…

She shook her head. No.

“You’re considering it, aren’t you? It’s gnawing at you. You know I am right”, she resumed, still in the doll’s voice.

“Even if, I can’t tell Misato, she’d laugh me off!”, Asuka protested. “Besides, it’s her who needs whipping into shape, not me!” she added, recalling the drunk state she saw her guardian in just half an hour ago.

“Perhaps. So, let’s adults sort out adults, and leave you teenagers to yourselves?” the doll animated.

Silence fell upon them. Asuka was mulling over an idea that was slowly creeping into the light of her mind. An absurd, but also increasingly nagging idea.

She then voiced it in the doll’s voice and clenched her teeth at the realization that it actually makes sense. She rose from her bed, put the doll carefully back into the drawer, and approached her wardrobe.

A few minutes later, she left her room with a look of resolve on her face.

***

Shinji Ikari was sitting in his small room, surrounded by boxes. He was reading a book; one earbud of his SDAT was in his ear. His school work for the day was done, the family – as he came to think of them, despite the serious dysfunctional behavior they were exhibiting – was fed, chores were done, and there was nothing more left to do except to relax for a while and then go to sleep – only to begin it all anew tomorrow. He did not mind the routine. It was far more welcome than the bouts of horrific violence caused by the Angel attacks.

The incident that caused Asuka to have a bad day barely bothered him. He was far from enjoying being hit by Asuka, of course, but he knew well that she had a hair-trigger temper; he also knew girls tended to be quite sensitive about their modesty. Thus, he understood quite well why he was attacked, even if the truth was that he barely saw anything inappropriate.

He only wished she would not be so angry with him most of the time.

A knock at his door broke him out of his reverie. He frowned: it could not be Misato – last time he saw her, she was sleeping soundly in her room; walking her would require an explosion, and even then, the results would not have been guaranteed. In fact, he could hear the soft snoring even now. That left only one option: Asuka.

His stomach clenched at this thought. _‘So, she **is** angry with me, and likely comes to take it out on me again’,_ he realized with worry. _‘Well, what choice do I have?’,_ he sighed. “Come in”, he stated loud enough for her to hear, pulled the earbud out, and rose from the sitting position on his futon.

The door slid aside and a silhouette appeared in the light of the door, only to quickly close it behind her.

“Hi”, Asuka began in a voice he did not expect. It was not an angry voice; if he did not know her better, he would say she was _nervous_. But this was not possible: Asuka did not get nervous; Asuka got angry.

“Hello? It’s late, did something happen?” he probed carefully.

“No. Yes. I mean, yes, but”, she blurted out, sitting on one of the sturdier-looking boxes and crossing her arms in an unusually defensive gesture.

“Shikinami-san? You’re…” he started.

“Confused, yes! I mean, no, I… I came here to give you an option, an opportunity maybe. Just don’t think too much of it, and no funny ideas, okay?”

Shinji blinked. “You didn’t even tell me what is this about, but sure…” he stated carefully.

“Right. What is this about”, she took a deep breath. “I… overreacted. I shouldn’t have kicked you. Slapped you, perhaps, but not kick. So…”

Shinji nodded. “Apology accepted, I suppose”, he replied with a smile.

Asuka blinked at him. “Yeah… Thanks. But–” she cut herself off; her face began to turn red.

“Shikinami-san?”

“That’s not all. I mean, I hurt you. And I’ve been feeling stupid about this all day. So, I said ‘opportunity’, and you’re getting it”, she rose to her feet and removed something that was around her wrist; it looked like a small, lady-style dress belt. “It was… bad, a bad thing to do, and I deserve to be… shown just that, Misato won’t do it, and I can’t trust anyone with that, and you’re the one who got hit, so you have the most right to do that”, she managed on a single breath; simultaneously, she extended a hand holding the belt to Shinji.

He just blinked. “You want me to do what?” he asked, his voice expressing his complete bewilderment.

“Must I spell it out for you?” she rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re an idiot all right, but hey, this hasn’t stopped me before. Okay: in a moment, I will put my hands on this box and pull down my shorts. The panties stay, so don’t get any ideas. And you will use- you will hit my bottom with this belt. This is my punishment and your opportunity to get back on me for getting kicked in the face. Questions?”

Shinji took a while to overcome his shock. “No?”

“Then get to it”, she pushed the belt at him.

“No, I mean, I can’t!” he protested.

She sighed heavily. _‘This could not have been simple, could it?’_

“I won’t beg. But you’re the only one I can trust with that – you’re a fellow pilot and if I trust you in combat, I can trust you to p-hit me. Imagine me going to Rei with that. Not going to happen.”

Some realization dawned in his eyes, but they were still full of doubt. “But… why?”

“**Because–**” she started in a raised voice, quickly lowering it in fear of waking Misato. “Because I am asking you to. Because I trust you enough to ask you, okay?” her voice was a mix of annoyance and determination. “And because I want to sleep tonight without feeling guilty. If you don’t care about getting back on me for knocking you out cold because you saw me in my full glory, do it **for me!**” she finished, her voice rising again.

He seemed to process the thought; finally, he nodded slowly and took the belt from her hand. “All right”, he stated just above a whisper. “I will trust you on that.”

She smiled an uncertain smile and unbuttoned the shorts, pulling them half-thigh, simultaneously carefully preventing her panties from sliding. A moment later she assumed the position, hands planted flat on the box and bottom exposed for Shinji to see – and to aim at.

Shinji took a quick look at her, then at the leather implement in his hand; he swallowed hard. He did agree to this, all right; but he was still not exactly sure whether this was not some elaborate trick to torment him – or simply a trap. Not that he could back down now: Asuka was quite persuasive – and far too easy to anger.

He unfolded the small belt and turned it in his hands, obviously lost on what exactly to do. Asuka sighed again.

“Fold it twice, and hold by the part that has metal so you don’t cut my skin with it”, she directed. “And come on, I’m not here for you to ogle!”

He obeyed and took a reluctant swing.

***

The sudden blow stung far more than Asuka had imagined it would.

It was, of course, almost nothing in comparison to the pain she suffered in combat or even in her Evangelion training: she still remembered the agony she had to endure when the arm of her Unit was broken the first time. But there was a huge difference – those injuries were incidental, mere side effects of her battles, minor costs of her improvement, small pebbles on her path to glory.

Here, the pain was the point – and she asked for it. But, most importantly, she welcomed it. Of course, nothing changed the fact that it actually, really, _hurt_. A yelp escaped her mouth as she braced herself for another hit.

One that did not come.

“I didn’t tell you to stop, idiot”, she hissed through clenched teeth. “Keep. Going.”

Shinji looked at her with doubt in his eyes, but found himself unable to refuse her command: he took another swing. This time, the hit landed on the shorts-covered part of her legs. A dry ‘aim higher’ was her only reaction.

The next swing was definitely weaker, but it hit spot-on. Asuka knew what to expect now and was better prepared; her only reaction was to inhale loudly.

The fourth hit landed almost exactly in the same spot as the previous one, amplifying the pain; this time, she sucked the air in and held it for a few seconds as the sharp pain subsided into the feeling of a thousand needles piercing her skin. A thought started to shape in her mind but was viciously interrupted by the fifth hit – one stronger than any that came before. Still, she managed not to make any sounds except the increasingly heavy breathing.

***

Seeing Asuka’s reactions toned down, Shinji kept going. Focused on aiming properly, he had little time to consider his situation; despite that, something was bothering him increasingly.

His primary concern was the simple fact that he was actively causing pain to Asuka. The obvious answer that it was at her request was inconsequential – he was hurting someone close to him. The only thing that kept him going was her direct request and her insistence.

The other thing was that he was feeling increasingly odd. Had his mind not been blocking the obvious reasons as ‘absurd’ and ‘wrong’, he would recognize this feeling as arousal. But in his current state of mind, he simply wrote it off on the awkwardness and impossibility of the situation – and decided to think about it later.

He struck for the sixth time.

***

Ultimately, Asuka was unable to hold it in; the last blow was simply too strong and, once more, hit over already tender skin. She let out another yelp, cut short as soon as she was able to. To her satisfaction, Shinji did not stop this time.

The seventh hit was weaker, but the accumulated pain almost caused her to make the sound again; it took a considerable effort to squash the yelp before it escaped her throat.

Not so much by the eight – either Shinji had put more strength in the swing than before or just hit a more sensitive spot; she almost screamed before covering her mouth. This was the moment she realized her face was wet.

_‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck I can’t let him-’_

She whirled around, catching his hand mid-swing. Grabbing the implement from his palm with one hand, she pulled her shorts up with another. “Enough!” she blurted out and ran out, closing the door far louder than she intended to.

Shinji was just standing there, dumbfounded for a moment, then he shook his head and shrugged. While this was near the top of the strangest things that happened to him in recent weeks, it was far from the worst.

_‘I guess I’ll have to talk to her about it… but not now.’_

He glanced at the clock. _‘Most definitely not now’,_ he decided as he dropped down on his futon with his head full of confusing thoughts – but none clear enough to give him any conclusion.

_***_

Asuka was lying in her bed, the doll on her hand; very little indicated the existence of those few tears that had been shed not so long ago.

“Say it, Asuka. Just say it”, she moved the doll. “Admit it, if not before him, then before me, or just yourself.”

She sighed.

“I hated it”, she grumbled. “It hurt. But I needed it”, she added, reluctantly. “And…”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“Admit it” the doll moved.

“And it felt **right**, fine?” she hissed, her eyes snapping open. “It felt… appropriate.”

She clenched her teeth. Associating this amount of positive emotions with Shinji still felt odd – but it did not stop her from realizing something else.

“It felt… liberating”, she finally admitted.

“There, you have it”, the doll moved. “Just work it out with him, and you will have someone to help you. He should agree. We won’t be totally on our own.”

“But ask him? Ask him for help?” Asuka grimaced.

“It would not be asking for help, it would be requesting assistance in maintaining combat readiness”, the doll moved while Asuka was elaborating in its voice. “He’s a fellow pilot. It is the duty of the pilots to assist each other, both on the battlefield and outside of it!”

Asuka’s face turned ponderous. “I suppose that’s correct… I’ll think about it”, she agreed reluctantly.

“Think as much as you can, but tell him”, the doll requested.

“Tell him what? That I **liked** when he turned my ass red and raw?” Asuka asked in a mock tone, blushing lightly and feeling a soft tingle run through her body at the thought.

The doll moved intensely, while Asuka let out a high-pitched giggle. “Yes, but maybe not like this and not right away”, Asuka animated the doll with an amused voice. “Perhaps you should simply promise him you will talk to him about it, when you are ready, and then keep your word later.”

Asuka sighed.

“That I can do. And I will”, she reassured herself.

She slid the doll off her hand, hid it in the drawer, and returned to bed. An attempt to roll to her back caused her mild discomfort; to her surprise, this sensation brought a smile to her face.

_‘Perhaps this is how I get to him? Two birds with one stone, feeling better and getting through his thick skull, a plan worthy of Great Asuka!’_

_***_

_Next day, early morning_

Asuka emerged from her room earlier than usual, tiptoeing around the apartment. On her way to the bathroom, she spotted Shinji in the kitchen; fortunately, he was busy, allowing her to slip by unnoticed to the safety of the bathroom.

_‘Well, I wasn’t expecting a **bruise**’,_ she thought with mild surprise after inspecting her bottom for marks. _‘Good that I don’t have PE today; I need to keep it in mind in the future…’_

She frowned. _‘And I’m already assuming this is going to become a regular thing. Am I that weird?’_

She closed her eyes, her hands resting firmly on the cold, hard sink. Events replayed in her mind, along with the emotions; the realization was slowly coming to the fore.

_‘Well, obviously I am. I needed a literal ass-whopping to sleep peacefully. I’m a weirdo, a freak. A perv, even.’_

She took a deep breath. _‘Nobody can know that. Nobody will know that. Well, **he** knows already, but he isn’t that dumb to tell anyone, why would he, he’s complicit in it… But if Misato or the doctor caught wind, a lot of stupid questions would be asked. Not that they’d disqualify me from piloting, they don’t exactly have a replacement.’_

She shook it off. There was no time for too much thinking – not to mention, doing it in the morning would really sullen her surprisingly good – for the morning – mood. With that thought, she quickly sank into her morning routine.

On her way back to her room, she noticed Misato was still not up. With a quick step, she approached Shinji who was skillfully operating a hot pan; mindful of the risk, she approached him from an angle where he would notice her before speaking up.

“Oh, good morning, Shikinami-san”, he greeted her cautiously, not stopping his maneuvers.

“Hi. Hello. Listen, Third. Don’t talk about what happened, at least until I tell you otherwise later, okay?” she requested in a hushed voice. “Not to anyone, especially not to Misato and **definitely** not to your weird buddies.”

Shinji nodded slowly. “All right? Sure?”

“Can I have your word on that?” she kept looking at him with an unusual seriousness written all over her face.

“Yes?” he seemed confused by the question.

“Great. Now, let’s act normal until we have a better opportunity to talk. And…” she hesitated before mumbling a ‘thank you’ as she turned away and nearly ran to her room.

Shinji added this unusually non-aggressive interaction with the redhead to the list of strange things that kept happening to him recently; shrugging, he returned his attention to the breakfast. After all, his life – not to mention the entire world – kept going on, no matter how strange it got.


	2. Chapter 2

Asuka was standing in front of the door to Shinji’s room, her hand raised to knock, her face full of conflicting feelings, her heart pounding in her chest. She had been standing there for at least a minute, unable to make herself to knock.

_‘Get a grip, Shikinami!’_ she chided herself._ ‘This is **your** idea, **your** initiative, **you** are in control here, **you** are calling the shots, **you have the power**. He obliged you once, and he will not say ‘no’ this time. Not if you approach him properly. Besides, it took you three long discussions with yourself to decide to do this, you don’t need the fourth. And he deserves some… clarity on the matter, too.’_

Before another thought would dash her determination, she knocked.

For a few seconds, there was no reaction. Half-relieved, half-disappointed, she turned away.

“Sorry, is someone there? Come in!” came from inside.

A wave of anxiety came upon her; she held herself in place with force of will. _‘This is what you wanted. Chicken out now, and be damned to loathe yourself forever’,_ an unusually harsh thought came to her mind.

She slid the door open.

***

Shinji Ikari was, as usually at this hour, sitting on his futon and reading by the light of the small lamp.

“Oh, hello Shikinami-san. I thought you went to bed already. Please, sit”, he smiled to her as she closed the door behind her. He strained his eyes trying to see her in the half-darkness that reigned in the room except for the small spot on his bed.

“Glad you’re still up”, she started reluctantly. “I… I wanted to ask you a favor”.

“Um… sure?” he blinked in surprise. _‘Ask? Not “demand”?’_

His eyes were slowly adjusting to the darker part of the room; he was able to notice Asuka had her hands tucked behind her back in an unusual display of uncertainty. This was quite far from the attitude she commonly had, to say the least – and she still seemed to be waiting for something. “I mean… of course?” he tried again. “Just tell me what do you want”, he smiled carefully and got up from the futon.

“It’s not what I _want_, Third”, she looked him in the eye with a gleam of determination that would make him step back if he had enough space to do so. “It’s what I _need. _Remember when I told you that you’re the only one I can trust with some… things?”

Shinji nodded, blushing at the kind-of-embarrassing-but-not-really-unpleasant memory that inadvertently came rushing back. “You want me to… repeat what I did? But you did nothing to me since–”

She took a step closer while still staring in his eyes. “It’s not only about you, all right?” her voice turned almost defensive. “It started so, yes, I know, but now it’s… different. Will you do it or not? I’m not going to ask again”, she finished defiantly.

He nodded with only slight hesitation. “If you trust me, I will.”

“With my life, idiot, if you haven’t noticed. Just…” she hesitated before resuming in a more certain voice. “I did some research. I don’t want you to stop when I ask you to stop.”

Shinji tilted his head. “I don’t understand–”

She shook her head in reply. “I mean, I may ask you to stop, but don’t. I can take a lot more pain than you imagine, but I may have some stupid reflex or something. But you need an escape plan from every situation, right? So when I say ‘Blau’, you stop. Is that clear?”

“Blau?”

“It’s German for ‘blue’” she explained. “Hard to mistake for anything else, right? So, are we clear?”

He nodded slowly. “I suppose? Yes?”

“So”, she grabbed his hand and pushed something cold and smooth into his palm, “you will now give me twenty with this, you keep going no matter what I say, unless what I say is ‘Blau’, then you stop. Clear?”

It was difficult to miss the determination and seriousness on Asuka’s face. Shinji nodded. “Clear. One question: how strong should it be?”

She chuckled. This was something she was pondering a lot, so the answer was there. It was most likely a very risky, stupid answer – but it would be simply disgracing to her pride to give another. “Imagine how most pissed you were with me when I hit you or something, and go from there. I will stop you if it’s too much. Do you trust me on that?”

Shinji blinked. “A-all right? Yes?”

“Great”, she sighed with relief. The most difficult part of the encounter – the talking – was done. “Just remember, don’t stop unless I say the word or you do the twenty; don’t even think of going short. Now. Step back, we need some space”, she commanded as she moved the chair aside and started to push the boxes away. Shinji obeyed and took a closer look at the item that was in his hand. It was a thick strap of leather, about as long as his forearm, a bit wider than it and about a centimeter thick; it had also had a handle that was slightly too large to comfortably rest in his palm. _‘Where did she get **that**? A belt is one thing, that’s clothing, but this… thing is clearly just for… well, pain?’_

“Ready?” a sudden question called him to reality. He looked up – and froze, instinctively expecting to receive a knock-out hit within seconds.

Asuka was standing next to one of the higher boxes, her hands resting on the top of it; she was looking at him over her shoulder. Her dress was hoisted up and tucked behind the belt, exposing her bottom. This would not have been much more than he saw last time – except seeing her like this was usually enough to trigger her temper – but this time, it was hard not to notice that she was wearing no underwear. The room’s twilight did not allow him to make out much detail except the shape of Asuka’s bottom, but the sheer awareness of her exposure was enough to make him blush – among other things.

“Sh-sh-shikinami?!”

She chuckled. “Yeah, I thought you’d react like that. Don’t worry, idiot, I’m not going to impose any ‘viewing tax’ this time. I did this myself, you know? But remember, no funny business! I’m here for a reason.”

“Why?” he asked, still staring.

“I guess you mean ‘why like this’ and not ‘what reason’. And isn’t it obvious, idiot? I don’t do things half-way! What would be the point to have any… barrier? Now, be a good friend and get to it!”

He nodded, his mind merely registering the word used to describe him and ignoring it in the waves of an overwhelming stimulus and confusion. Taught by the previous experience, he positioned himself carefully and touched the implement to Asuka’s skin first before taking a swing.

She shuddered visibly.

***

_‘Gott, what I got myself into?’_ was the thought that crossed her mind the moment the cold leather softly touched her bare bottom. Once it moved away, preparing to strike in mere seconds, she shut her eyes tight in anticipation. _‘He’s doing it, he’s really doing it, I really managed to convince-’_

That thought was washed away a second later with a wave of pain that passed through her bottom – and two separate, short thoughts flared up in her mind: _‘He’s stronger than he looks’_ and _‘He must’ve been **really** pissed with me…’_

***

Shinji Ikari was not a very complicated boy. Of course, this did not mean he did not have his share of issues, nor was it an opinion about his intelligence. He was smart – just not people-smart. He never really understood how Asuka’s mind worked, he could not decipher Rei’s behavior, not to mention more complicated people like his father. On the other hand, he mastered the art of appeasing people to a degree sufficient for them to at least tolerate him; this did not allow him to develop any deeper bond, but it made them content enough to get by and leave him alone.

It did not always work perfectly, of course, especially when he suddenly and unexpectedly demonstrated a willingness to stand for himself or escape from the pressure; but in most cases, it worked well enough. Of course, there were important and problematic exceptions: Asuka was the most notable case – nothing he did seemed to appease her.

But this seemed to have changed recently in the most confusing manner possible.

That thought passed through his head as he was about to land the next blow. Contrary to Asuka’s suggestion, he was not thinking about the moments she hit him. This was not something he cared much about; after all, the pain was a regular companion in his life since he became a pilot, and he knew others – like Rei – that had it worse, their bodies far more fragile. There were other things, things that hurt far more: her sarcastic remarks, his failure to make the food the way she liked, her demeaning comments both in private and in public – those were all shadows that were cast on her positive feelings of respect and perhaps even admiration he had for her.

He did not realize how many emotions were brewing inside of him and how much was it influencing his strength. He simply brought the strap down.

***

A loud gasp erupted, cut short by suddenly clenched teeth. A questioning look was met with a defiant glare. Shinji did not dare to say anything – he kept going. The third blow caused the same reaction; Asuka just lifted her hand and bit down on her wrist.

A few next blows fell in regular intervals, with similar intensity. Each caused the muffled sounds to increase in intensity; after the tenth one, Asuka realized that the moment of decision was approaching rapidly – her face was already wet, and any more would make her cry in earnest. ‘_So, Shikinami, what it will be now? How curious are you? Hm? How much do you trust him? You wanted him angry, congratulations, you succeeded, he is angry-’_

Another blow cleared her mind of all the previous thoughts. Only one thing remained: _‘Fuck. Fuck. Fu-’_

Another one made her bite down harder on the gagging hand. _‘In for a penny-’_

The next one would have caused her to scream if not for the improvised gagging.

“Shikinami-san?” Shinji probed. A growl was the only reply. Wisely choosing not to discuss that, he just struck again.

She just shifted her hand to bite on the whole forearm. _‘I’ll just bandage it tomorrow…’_

The strap fell again.

***

Asuka Langley-Shikinami was crying.

That itself would not be something unusual; more than a few people exposed to twenty strokes of a heavy leather strap on the bare bottom with that strength would shed _some_ tears. But for her, it was a big thing. First of all, she was crying in front of someone – anyone – for the first time in a decade. Second, it was someone she did not exactly respect – although this was changing quite quickly. Third, to her surprise, she was not ashamed to cry right now.

When the agreed-upon spanking was over, not all was done in her mind. The problem was Shinji; he, being Shinji, just stood there instead of acting as she would expect him to. _‘Well, small steps. He did do something unusual for him, let’s not expect miracles. I’ll have to guide him through it all.’_

She reached back and rubbed the hot skin of her buttocks; the touch sent varied impulses through her system: predominately pain, but some other, far more pleasant ones as well; ones she would rather not think of now, especially not when being in proximity of a boy she – as hard it was to admit – liked at least a little bit. A boy that was currently staring at her, with specific attention paid to her backside.

“Put your back against it”, she addressed him, pointing at the box stack next to them. “We’re not done yet.”

He broke from his trance and obeyed, resting his back against the stack of three boxes. Without a warning or a word, she clung to him with all her body and wrapped her hands around his torso.

“Do I have to spell it out for you as well?” she hissed a moment later, dissatisfied with his lack of reaction. “Hug me back!”

Slowly and carefully, he put the leather strap aside and embraced her. She smiled and sunk into the reluctant – at least on his part – embrace. This was the moment when the tears started flowing and Asuka suddenly felt quite vulnerable – but for some reason, this did not bother her as much as she felt it should.

“What have you done to me, Third?” she whispered after a long while, her voice hoarse.

“I-I-I–”, he started to stutter and tense.

For a moment, she furrowed her brows in confusion, then laughed softly and tightened her embrace.

“I’m not accusing you, stupid, and I won’t hit you now. I’m asking why…” she trailed off, her voice still soft. “No matter. We’ll figure that out.”

She clung to him harder. “Thank you”, she whispered.

“You’re… welcome?” he replied, his voice clearly confused.

She giggled again. She felt really odd: giddy, almost ecstatic, despite her bottom really smarting, her eyes being red, and her face puffy – not to mention being like this in front of someone, someone she regularly treated as a personal servant at best, and a punching bag at worst. “I guess I owe you an apology”, she started, still in a whisper.

“Shikinami-san?”

She disentangled from him partially, just enough to look at his face – and to let him see hers.

“We will talk about later, okay? That, and… all that”, she gestured in no direction in particular. “For now… just know I don’t hate you.”

He nodded in reply. She moved closer again, this time intertwining their legs for closer contact; he twitched uncomfortably in response. Her eyes grew wide the moment the very obvious reason for that pressed against her leg.

“You perver–” she started before biting her tongue as he began to tense again in response. _‘Fuck. Not fair. Not fair, Shikinami.’_

“I guess that should earn me a few more”, she said wryly. “Next time around, I think.”

With a deep breath, she disentangled herself from him. Looking him in the eye, she paused while searching for proper words. “I…” she started slowly. “I should go now. I think I better leave you to your… devices”, she paused, aware of the awkwardness. “Your problem. The standing issue. I mean, your task at hand”, she kept going, increasingly certain that no matter what she says, she will just dig herself deeper. Finally, finding no further words nor a suitable euphemism, she decided on “Good night, Thi- Shinji. Just remember – no word to anyone, okay?”

He nodded again and she turned to leave – but stopped before reaching the door. Turning on the spot, she suddenly approached him and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thanks again”, she said with a smile on her still-red face. “Call me Asuka, all right? I suppose you earned it”, she chuckled softly.

With that smile, she left, leaving a very confused Shinji behind.


	3. Chapter 3

The redheaded girl was lying in her bed, staring through the window; her eyes were tracking the lights of planes, flickering against the dark sky.

Her thoughts went back to today’s battle; she was not able to handle the Angel herself. She was reduced to an assistant… _‘An assistant that dealt the killing blow thought’,_ she reminded herself._ ‘That’s some labor division in the team!’_

She sighed. _‘Still, should have been my solo triumph…’_

She glared at the sky in anger. _‘Should have been… and I am alone now.’_

“It’s always been normal for me to be alone… so being alone shouldn’t bother me…” she mused, this time aloud.

She opened the drawer and pulled the doll on her right hand.

“What should we do, Asuka?” she directed the question at the stitched face. “We forever had just each other…”

“It does not have to be so”, the doll moved. “You helped him. He would have died without you. He held the sky for you, and you saved him from being crushed. And the strange girl held the heart of the beast for you to pierce and kill.”

Asuka growled. Third Child has been bad enough, but the fact that the emotionless doll was involved made her shiver in disgust. She pushed her image away. Of those two, the daddy’s boy at least had _something_, _some_ emotions.

“And some guts”, she added in doll’s voice.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah… perhaps.”

That was one of the truths she had difficulty admitting. The Third Child might have been a complete doormat she could use and abuse at her convenience, but he was still a fellow pilot that – once he finally managed to get inside his Evangelion – did not disappoint in battle. From a girl raised to be first and foremost a soldier, this commanded some respect.

“You promised him something”, the doll moved again.

Asuka glared at her doll-clad hand. “I didn’t promise **him**. I promised myself.”

“Yes and no, you **told** him you would talk. Does that mean any less?” she argued. “It’s still your word. Go, talk to him.”

“Shut up!” she angrily pulled the doll from her hand and threw it against the wall. Split-second later, she felt very, very stupid.

When punching the mattress did not help, she rose from her bed and retrieved the doll. Putting it back on her hand, she moved it: “**That** was not very nice of you, Asuka.”

She pouted. “I can’t just **talk** to him.”

She giggled in the high-pitched voice. “You don’t need to go to just talk to him. You can ask him to do that thing that makes you feel really good.”

Asuka glared at the doll. “It sounds dirty when you say it like this. He just…”

“He just makes your bottom red and causes you to feel good”, the doll moved again, this time in a far more animated way. “Then, you think of him every time you remember it, and you remember it for a few more days. And last time, before you went to sleep after having your bottom spanked, you–”

Asuka reached for the doll’s head with her other hand. “Don’t. You. Dare. Say. That.”

The doll shrugged. “Hey, it’s your body, do you what you will with it, just wash your hands before and after. But don’t lie here alone! Go to him!”

Asuka did not reply.

“He is alone too. We don’t have to befriend him, but he is alone, you are alone… and you yourself said that you didn’t hate him, right?” the doll tried.

Asuka sighed. “All right, all right. I’ll go to him”, she rose from the bed.

“Just be honest, with him! Promise me that!” the doll animated.

Asuka rolled her eyes. “Sure, sure. I promise.”

She removed the doll, carefully this time; a cautious inspection had shown no damage resulted from her tantrum.

She hid the doll in the secured drawer and took the strap from there. As she was turning away, her eyes fell on something she bought in case the strap would prove insufficient, sticking out from between the clothes. She closed her eyes and recalled the strap’s kiss; this memory quickly made her mind against upping the ante. She just pushed the implement back underneath the stack of t-shirts and pants.

_‘Let’s not overdo it, too much can scare him away and I’d be back to square one. I’m going there to talk, first and foremost to talk’_ she lied to herself with ease as she started to tiptoe around the apartment.

***

“Hello, Asuka. I wasn’t expecting you so soon”, Shinji greeted her as she entered, invited after the softest knock. Asuka noticed he did not have his earbuds in his ears this time; _s_he unsuccessfully tried to suppress a grin. _‘Oh. Were you expecting me? Were you **waiting for me**?’_

For some reason, this thought had made her warm inside. “Yeah…” she finally managed to turn the grin into a semi-sheepish, but still very wide smile. “I didn’t expect I would be tempted to come so soon. But here I am, right?” her voice turned serious. “I have my reasons. And I know your hands hurt… and I won’t kill you if you say no”, she finished, her voice less certain with every part.

He cautiously smiled back and looked at his bandaged hands. “It’s not that those are really damaged, right? I was able to hold things just fine. If you want– need help, I am glad to help.”

She rolled her eyes, but the smile was still there. “For fuck’s sake, idiot, you’d have fourth-degree burns on your hands and you’d still try to please people with them, wouldn’t you? Just be honest with me, hm?” she dropped next to him on the futon, placing the leather strap next to her. “I won’t get mad.”

“I… I am honest, Asuka”, he replied, the mild stutter still audible. “I can do… that, just won’t be so strong as last time, I guess”.

“Okay, I’ll trust you on that. And about ‘not so strong’, we’ll just have to take longer, then”, she giggled softly and handed him the implement. “Do your duty, pilot!”

_‘My duty?’_ he pondered as picked the strap up. _‘I guess helping a fellow Pilot is my duty, but this comes in the strangest way imaginable…’_

Asuka rose from the futon and assumed the usual position at the box; Shinji followed. She thought for a moment, then slowly raised her dress and hoisted it behind its belt as she did last time. Shinji, of course, did his best not to peek at her nakedness – and failed.

Seeing him flustered, Asuka rolled her eyes. “Hey. You’re free to look, Third. I’d rather you aim with your eyes open, you know. I told you: don’t worry, I’m doing this willingly”, she reassured him. “Just don’t keep me waiting!” she grumbled.

Pushed by her tone, he took his place. His hands indeed burned, but he knew well those were just phantom pains; the nerves were fine, it was just his brain playing tricks. That pain did not matter.

“How many do you want, Asuka?” he asked in a calm voice.

“Oh, right. If they’re weaker… well, thirty…” she hesitated. “No, forty. Forty will be fine”, she declared. “Same rules to stop apply, okay?”

He nodded and placed the leather against her bare bottom. “Ready?”

“At your convenience, Shinji”, she spoke in a voice not entirely her own, closing her eyes.

He raised his hand.

***

In the beginning, the spanking felt positively mild to her. She was even pondering whether to accuse him of going soft on her but finally decided not to goad him unnecessarily. _‘Worst case scenario, I will just tell him to give me another ten...’_

This has quickly proved to be the right choice – and ‘another ten’ idea vanished from her mind. _‘I **really** should have bought that gag’,_ she thought when twenty-something swing reached her bottom. Her forearm, already bruised from biting down on it last time was now quickly becoming covered in fresh teeth marks. _‘Definitely, I must–’_

The next hit blew all the thoughts away. The blows were indeed weaker, but the steadily increasing tenderness of her skin was making this spanking **definitely** worse than the previous one. Still, she managed to stop herself from calling it quits – even if she had been seriously tempted to do so for the first time. _‘Fuck me if I give up just because it **hurts**. He won’t break me.’_

Something stirred in her on that thought, but the relentless assault made any following thoughts scatter in the waves of pain and heat.

***

Once the assault stopped, Asuka’s remained braced for a few long seconds. She gave up counting in her head a while ago, relying on Shinji to count correctly. After all, she trusted him to have her back in battle, she could trust him to be able to _count_.

“That’s forty, Asuka. Are you–”

She jumped up and wrapped her hands around him, pushing him against the stacked boxes with all her strength. She was already sobbing; soon after she was openly crying in his chest.

Shinji placed the strap down and embraced her. A short-live temptation appeared in his mind: a desire to touch the freshly spanked skin. He chose not to; to his surprise, he was not afraid she would hit him for that – something was telling him she would not, not in this state. The idea just did not feel right to him.

He just held her tight, his hands resting at her waist, holding her through the layers of fabric collected there.

***

Finally, she released the grip she had on him, took a step back, and wiped her face with the tissues from the box that were standing within her reach. _‘I like how better prepared he is every time…’_

“I should…” she started to excuse herself. “I really should–”

Something popped in her mind, something imperceptible. She paused, her face expressing mixed feelings.

Shinji’s voice immediately turned concerned. “Asuka? Are you all right?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Ask me to stay”, she whispered. “Please.”

Shinji blinked. Asuka _asking_ for something, politely – that was unusual, at best. Asuka almost pleading – that was unheard of. A while ago, he would be afraid this was some trick again – but recently, Asuka has become far less violent towards him. Even Misato noticed that; of course, she did not spare them the jokes on the subject. Jokes that made Asuka snipe at_ her_ instead of him, to his relief.

He knew there was only one way to answer that request, and he forced himself to give it.

“Would…” he started, uncertain how to phrase it to avoid sounding stupid – or worse, dirty. “Would you spend the night with me?” he said quickly and immediately blushed, realizing the extent of his failure. “I mean–”

Her finger touched on his lips. To his utmost surprise, she was smiling.

“I perfectly know what you mean, Shinji. And I will, gladly. Just… not exactly in that literal meaning. Or perhaps **exactly **in the literal meaning…” she giggled softly. “Let me get ready to bed, okay? I’ll be back soon. You better get ready, too”, her smile turned to a smirk.

He just nodded, still blushing. His eyes tracked her as she left; it was painfully easy for him to notice that she did not bother to pull her dress down.

_‘Great. I just wonder if this **is** an attempt to make me squirm or she’s just taking an unconscious example from Misato…’_ he grimaced annoyed before turning to his futon in an attempt to make it more orderly in anticipation of a very important guest.

***

About twenty minutes later a hushed, excited voice next to his door interrupted his thoughts. “Bathroom’s free if you want to do anything; I’ll be there in ten!”

Shinji’s stomach clenched. Somehow he hoped this was one of Asuka’s minor torments towards him, that she would simply stroll in after a while and laugh him off for preparing for her presence, while this ‘had to be such an obvious joke’.

But no – this was really happening: the girl of his dreams was willing – no, she was actually _pushing_ – to get closer to him. But that thought, while making him overjoyed, was also filling him with dread; after all, he had no idea what to do.

He was sure about one thing, though – he did not want to disappoint her and be seen as a pervert again. With that in mind, he finally headed to the bathroom. Keeping in mind what he had seen this night, ten minutes was certainly going to be more than enough.

***

“Come in”, Shinji replied to the soft knock on the door.

Asuka slid in silently, her bare feet treading softly on the mats. She was clothed in a short nightshirt; Shinji really, really hoped this was not the only thing she was wearing at the moment: he was painfully aware that any movement could expose far more of Asuka’s body than he was mentally prepared for. He wore his usual bed clothing – an old t-shirt and boxers; had he given that more thought, he would have realized the disadvantages of this attire. Alas, he was far too preoccupied to consider the finer details – not to mention any precautions.

He took another look at Asuka and noticed how different her hair looked – the red mane was virtually never flowing free as it was now, even at home; most of the times, it was held together by clips and the neural connectors she always wore – or was wrapped in a towel. He tracked her movements, mesmerized by the sight as she put them behind her ears with an absentminded gesture before turning her attention to him.

“Hey, Third. You there?” she asked with a hint of threat, focusing on him.

He shook his reverie off and nodded. “S-sorry, please, sit down”, he pointed to a spot on the futon.

She approached and knelt on the spot he indicated. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not **sit** right now”, she remarked in a softer tone and smiled at him; he suddenly realized this was the warm kind of smile, one she usually had for Kaji and Kaji only. Of course, noticing this has not eased his anxiety to any degree; any implications also flew over his head. “You did a **very** thorough job at making sitting **really** uncomfortable”, she kept going with the same smile.

He was opening his mouth when she placed her finger on his lips. “I’m not letting you mess up the mood by apologizing. This was **praise**”, she said insistently before pausing and pondering something. “Listen, I’m not very sleepy, but we should lay down. I… actually came here to talk”, she admitted.

He nodded slowly and slid down from his sitting position. Asuka followed suit, careful to put as little weight at her bottom as possible.

Shinji did not know what to expect – nor what to do, for that matter – so he just waited for the events to unfold. Asuka’s move came sooner and far more directly than he could dream of: she simply turned his back to him and shifted her body closer to him until she made contact. “Come on, embrace me!” she whispered in almost a hiss. “What’s the point of sharing the bed if you avoid contact?”

He wrapped his hand around her stomach, extremely careful not to stray in any direction in fear of awakening her wrath and ruining this unreal, confusing, but wonderfully pleasant moment. He could smell her hair, feel her muscles moving underneath her skin, and – first and foremost – feel the heat of her body.

A body that had just wiggled and suddenly increased the contact area close to possible maximum.

_‘Oh. So much for not being beaten for being a perv…’_ he thought in panic as his body, undeterred by the recent relief, decided it was a good moment to demonstrate his definitively positive and quite strong opinion about Asuka’s body.

***

Asuka froze, feeling the half-expected, but certainly unanticipated pressure against the sensitive skin of her bottom.

_‘That perverted-’ _a stream of thoughts started in her head and immediately started to shift._ ‘Stop, Shikinami, he’s a boy, that’s natural, that’s a **reflex**. And you might be a tempestuous girl at some inopportune times, but a hypocrite you’re **not**. You’re having an equivalent reaction right now’,_ she admitted to herself. _‘Yours is just far better hidden. You didn’t promise to be kind to him or good to him or anything that stupid, but you **did** promise to be honest. And you’re keeping that promise, for fuck’s sake.’_

She let out the breath she was unconsciously holding. _‘Also, I guess it’s a form of a compliment…’_ she smiled to herself.

With a quick movement, she turned to her other side, remembering to roll by her stomach. The first thing she noticed when facing Shinji was that he had his eyes closed – and his entire body was tense.

_‘Fuck no. You’re not going there. I’m not losing that moment. I’ll kill you if I do.’_

She reached and touched his cheek softly. “I’m not going to hit you”, she spoke up. “That’s… your task, now” she smiled a crooked smile.

He slowly opened his eyes; his stare was both confused and suspicious. She sighed.

“I’m **not** going to hit you”, she repeated, then paused to decide on her word choice. “Okay. I promise not to hit you today unless you do something really, really stupid or just plain wrong. Okay? And I think you know what I mean.”

He nodded slowly, still uncertain; the good thing was that he seemed to relax.

“Now. I thought you’d be smarter and use the time I gave you to go to the bathroom and do _something_ to… avoid _that_ happening, but–”

“I did!” he exclaimed in a hushed voice before changing from just blushing to beet-red. “I mean–”

“Oh”, she blinked in confusion. “Oh. But that was…”

“S-sorry!” he looked like he was about to spontaneously combust.

She shook her head. Something started to stir in her mind; she pushed it aside for a moment.

“Don’t be”, she stated firmly. “I’ll explain later, but… but I don’t mind. Really. Yeah, you’re a perv”, she giggled. “But at the moment, I don’t really care, and I guess I’d be offended if you **didn’t** react like that to me. So… I promised you we will talk”, she suspended her voice.

He nodded. He was still blushing, but by the look on his face, he was no longer going for self-immolation.

“Okay. Come closer!” she requested, her voice a bit impatient. “I enjoy being held, you know?”

He did not pull back; still, he remained careful to avoid too much contact. She sighed and just pulled him in. “That’s better. Where was I… yes. I promised we talk.”

He nodded. “Thank you”, he whispered.

She blinked, then shook her head. _‘I was just being… nice for a moment’, _she realized. _‘This is messed up. Let’s try not to make it worse, shall we?’ _Taking a deep breath, she started: “Okay, let’s start from the most obvious. I know I am not the nicest person around. Brilliant, attractive, hot, a great pilot, sure – but not nice. I… I kept telling myself you deserve to be treated as I did, and… and maybe you do, being such a wet blanket.” Shinji winced in response. “Maybe. But I don’t know anymore” she kept going. “No matter. I can recognize what is due. I see your courage, on the battlefield, and… here. It took some leap of courage to do what you just did, to spank me I mean, and I’m glad you did.”

“You… asked me to?” he replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

She raised her eyebrow. “And that’s the only reason? Didn’t you enjoy it… just a little bit?” she smirked.

Shinji pondered the answer for a while. “No, not really”, he finally admitted; Asuka’s both eyebrows raised in response. “I did it because you asked me to. I admit though…” he paused, his blush increasing again.

“Yes?” she rose on her elbow and looked at him closer, her lips raising in a wider smirk.

“I-I like-” he began with visible effort, his blush returning to the previous beet-red level. “I-like-your-body” he finally managed with visible effort. “It’s… beautiful. Wonderful. Perfect” he finished, his voice now certain.

Asuka blinked. “What.”

“S-sorry-” he started to pull back. Her embrace held him firmly in place.

She shook her head, closing her eyes. _‘Fuck no, stay! You’re not running away from me!’_ she resolved before speaking up. “Why didn’t you ever **compliment** me, or something, then?!” she somehow managed to shout in a whisper, her eyes bursting open. “Third, I was doing what I could to make you say **something**! Anything!”

“I didn’t want to sound like a creep?” he explained as it was the most obvious thing ever. “And well, I saw what you do to people that were coming on you. I was not really eager to get another bruise.”

“What did I do to them?” she asked, her voice incredulous.

“Well, you hit them?” he replied. “Last week, you slapped a guy just for asking you out, didn’t you? And he wasn’t even rude!”

“Oh. That.” She averted her gaze. “Yeah, well, I tend to react… directly to creeps, yes. But what makes you think I’d do the same to you?” she narrowed her eyes at him.

His tone of this-is-obvious did not change: “He was not a creep, you know. Just… a guy. And well, you do hit me often, and you have the same disgusted look every time someone asks you out? I was afraid?”

Her lips tied up and she fell on her back, gazing at the ceiling; she grimaced at the sudden contact of the well-spanked skin with the futon. _‘Someday I will learn to keep that in mind’,_ she thought wryly.

“You **may** be right”, she admitted after a long while. “Still, you could’ve tried something innocent, like ‘I like your hair’?”

“I… Asuka, whatever you think of me, I’m not exactly the most courageous person in this city”, he protested. “I’m just… a guy who tries to survive this madness and not disappoint people more than I already did.”

“What are you talking about, Third?” Asuka’s tone became incredulous again. “You’re a fucking **Pilot**, you faced down more Angels than I did! You faced an Angel just after getting here, having no idea what it is!”

“Well, I had no choice, my father wanted to put Ayanami in the Eva…” he protested.

“There is always a choice, Third. And you made it”, she stated firmly. “No, you have many flaws, you’re annoying as fuck, you’re a damn wet blanket and a doormat, but you’re no coward. A coward would have let her pilot. Then you got boiled by that cube and you **still **went out to fight it again.”

“I ran away”, he reminded.

Asuka let out a sigh. “Yes, you did. But you came back, didn’t you?” she paused. “Listen, Third, we’re not turning into a drinking game, okay? Just… accept that I think you’re a good pilot. And coming from the best pilot, it’s something!” she grinned. “Just tell me: why do you pilot the Eva?”

“I… I don’t know”, he admitted.

“What? That’s stupid. You have to do it for **some** reason”, she glared at him. This glare looked far less threatening, though, when delivered from such a short distance and with softer expression than usual.

“Maybe I wanted to be praised by my father… He praised me for the first time in my life today. It’s the first time praise had made me happy”, he admitted. “But… I…” his eyes turned sad.

Asuka kept looking at him as he did not continue. “Come on, you can’t let me hang like that”, she insisted. “I just gave you my reasons!”

“You… didn’t?” he pointed out.

She blinked. “Oh come on, idiot, isn’t it obvious? I pilot because I am the best, and because I want to be the best!”

“Oh. Good”, he sounded surprised. “Aren’t you?”

“Well, you’re quite a competition, but I will catch up with you!” she boasted, raising her voice far above a whisper.

“I… I don’t see you as a competition”, he stated softly. “You’re a fellow pilot, and you trained hard for your first place.”

“What.” Asuka’s face froze in a stupefied expression.

Shinji tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“What.”

“Asuka?”

She hid her face in her hands. “Fuck. Me.”

“Asuka?” he pulled her closer.

“Fuck. Me”, she repeated in the same, dejected tone.

“I… what do you mean?”

“This is not a request, stupid”, she growled. “If you are wondering. I… just… don’t…” her voice broke down.

“Are you all right?” he asked from the lack of better ideas.

“Just… hold me tight, okay?” she whispered, her voice forcibly calm.

He pulled her even closer, letting her rest her head on his. It came as some surprise when he soon noticed his cheek getting wet. Not knowing what to do, he just tightened the embrace. It seemed the safest – and perhaps even the best – thing to do.

***

_Early morning_

The alarm was not loud, but Shinji was used to wake in the first two seconds of its sound. He reached to deactivate it, only opening his eyes when it stopped sounding.

The first thing he saw was a lot of red hair, some of it threatening to get into his face on the slightest movement. The second was the rest of Asuka, laying on her side, her legs intertwined with his, her nightshirt lifted to half her torso. He silently blessed the fact she was actually wearing panties.

Carefully disentangling himself, he began to slowly rise from the futon. A grabbing hand suddenly made this difficult. “You not goin’ ‘nywhere…” came from Asuka’s half-sleeping form.

“Asuka, it’s morning”, he pleaded. “You need to leave before Misato notices anything.”

“Dmn it”, she grumbled and rolled to her stomach. “Fve mre mintes…”

“Asuka, please, if Misato notices anything, it’s going to end up really bad!” he kept pleading, without much effect.

“Wll be fne…”, she mumbled.

A really odd thought appeared in his mind; normally, he would have dismissed it as absurd, but the last few days have taught him that ‘absurd’ and ‘insane’ can sometimes be synonyms to ‘fine’ and ‘well-adjusted’. At least for him and the redhead he was currently sharing the bed with.

“Asuka, if you don’t get up right now, I will be seeing you tonight for another forty”, he stated quickly before the fear took the better of him. He panicked about his audacity and the possible violent consequences pretty much immediately – but it was too late. The words were spoken out loud – and reacted to.

“What?!” Asuka shot upright, immediately awake and alert. “How dare you–” she almost shouted at him before reducing her volume. “You think you have anything to say about that, daddy boy?”

“Well”, to his surprise, he stood his ground, most likely only by the virtue of having nowhere to run; also, leaving Asuka here would not make the situation better. “Kick me now if it makes it even, but right now you’re putting us both in danger!” his whisper was hoarse and shaky, but still perfectly understandable. “Misato finds us like this, goes crazy, separates us or worse, our… get-togethers are over! Is that what you want?”

Asuka tilted her head, staring at him. After a few breathless moments that felt like an eternity to Shinji, she started to laugh. “Gott, **this** is the moment you chose to discover that you have a spine?” she managed between laughs. “Third, you’re an idiot, a damned idiot, but I was right about you”, she breathed out. “So right.”

Shinji just stared at her; he was quite certain something has gone wrong with the universe, because in the one he knew, he would be currently lying on the floor, either unconscious from a hit on the head or clutching some part of his anatomy.

“Asuka…” he started again.

“I know I know.” She took a deep breath and calmed her laughter down. “Not today, Third” she shook her head, “not today, but… just keep it up and we **might** come to some terms, okay?”

She located and picked up the strap. “Thank you… for the night”, she hugged him shortly but firmly, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek before withdrawing. “And… we’ll talk again”, she declared. _‘Talk, right. I bet myself this “talk” will have a “preface”…_’ she chuckled internally.

He nodded, unsure what else to do. “Whenever you–”

“And now make me some breakfast! I’m hungry!” she pouted before storming out of the room.

Shinji just stood there for a short while before smiling and letting his guard down just a bit. The fact that some things did not change provided some comfort. On the other hand, he had just come close to a heart attack and felt quite like having stared down a wild beast. **Those** facts were far from comforting. _‘I guess this is my life now. In the beginning, it was “farewell peace”, now it is “farewell sanity”? I really wish that the next farewell is not to hope.’_

With that thought, he set off to meet another day, his spirits high, even as his mind was in the same state of confusion as it had been for the last few weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

_Late Thursday evening_

In the past, the late afternoon at Misato Katsuragi’s apartment was usually a peaceful affair, with Shinji making food or doing chores, Asuka lazing off or suffering over still-illegible homework, and Misato herself starting to drink within minutes from returning from work.

While the last part had not changed much in the last weeks, the behavior of the younger dwellers was clearly different as of late.

“…and in this case, you simply apply the Pythagorean trigonometric identity”, Asuka pointed to the next question, prompting a raising eyebrow from Shinji. “What? You have a one in this equation, just replace it with the sum of squares…” she quickly scribbled the resulting equation. “Just try solving this.”

Shinji looked at the paper in front of him. “Er… it can’t be _that_ simple”, he stared at the notebook page in disbelief.

Asuka grinned. “It’s a typical guess-the-approach problem. Once you figure out the trick, you’re essentially done. See for yourself.”

Less than a minute of scribbling later, the answer was clear. “Thank you, I… it would take me a while.”

“Good that you have a genius at hand, right?” Asuka boasted. “Why didn’t you ask me for help before? You knew I was a college graduate. I was bragging about it, I’m sure.”

Shinji chuckled. “And why didn’t you ask for help with Japanese before?”

She pouted and narrowed her eyes. “Watch your mouth, daddy’s boy. You know why”, she replied with an undertone of anger.

He pondered for a moment. “I suppose. Sorry, you’re right. It’s just… the obvious thing to do. To ask.”

She raised her eyebrow. “Obvious? But **you** didn’t ask **me** for help. My bullshit sense is tingling here.”

“Well, it was never that big of a problem, I just put in more work. Your… issue is different.”

“Yeah… issue”, she grumbled.

***

_Previous Monday, the school’s classroom_

“…and as the results are mildly unsatisfactory, we will be going through all the problems from the test in order. Shikinami, question one.”

“Yes, teacher”, Asuka slowly stood up and headed to the blackboard. Her mood was low; she got a passing grade from that test, but it was far too far from ‘top of the class’ she was aiming for. She started to write the relevant data on the blackboard.

“Shikinami, this is incorrect. Listen: let’s take a square and a triangle with equal areas...” the teacher started to read the problem; Asuka started to correct the scribbles on the blackboard. Once the teacher was done dictating, it took Asuka five minutes to solve the problem. The teacher looked at her with doubt in his eyes. “This is correct. Shikinami, why didn’t you solve it this way on the test?”

Asuka’s mouth became a thin line. “I must’ve misunderstood something. I’m sorry”, she managed.

“Well, do better next time. Go back to your seat. Suzuhara, problem two!”

Asuka obeyed, her mood notably worsened; even the _Schadenfreude_ from seeing the idiot jock suffer through his problem did little to improve it.

***

_Monday afternoon_

“Asuka, there’s nothing from your laundry here”, Shinji’s voice carried over from the bathroom. “Do you have any?”

There was no reply. A few moments later, Shinji was knocking at her door. “Asuka?”

“Go away”, came in a sullen voice.

“Asuka, It’s laundry day, and you’re going to need–”

The door slid open with excessive force. “Go away, idiot”, she raised her fist at him. “Before I–”

She stopped in her tracks, noticing this had very little effect on him. _‘Wait… did I break his fight-or-flight response? Or am I no longer that scary?’_

“Sorry, Asuka, but I would really rather not do half-empty runs”, he stated, his voice slightly nervous.

_‘Okay, he’s afraid, just not intimidated. Well, of course. He knows he gets to take it out on me later.’_

Her annoyance subsiding, she dropped her hand without dealing the blow.“Sure, sure”, she and rolled her eyes and started collecting the scattered clothes. “Here”, she handed the stack to him a moment later.

“Thank you. Asuka…” he tried as she was about to close the door.

“Yes?” she sounded increasingly annoyed.

“Are you–do you need assistance?” he corrected himself.

_‘Like, “assistance” you deliver directly to my bottom? Or the one “normal” people deliver?”_ she thought, noting that the obvious ‘ass’ joke she wanted to make here would not work in Japanese. _‘Fun thing is that the answer is “yes”, but fuck me if I’d let him know that I need help.’_

She paused as a thought struck her. _‘But why, actually? For fuck’s sake, he’s closer to me than anyone was in the last… fuck.’_

She closed the door. “Do the laundry, Third”, she commanded loudly. “And then come back, okay? I’ll be here”, she added in a softer voice.

He nodded. Quickly realizing this was not enough, he added: “Sure, Asuka.”

***

_Monday evening_

“Come in. Let’s make it short and sweet, Third, okay?” she started, her face mostly free of any indications she had been crying just a half-hour before. “You give me an express course in advanced kanji, and I will help you with your sciences homework.”

Shinji blinked in confusion. “I thought you wanted to talk something else”, he stated in a low voice.

She shook her head. “I’m not in the mood to discuss your… ‘assistance’, and let’s save the other talking to… time in bed”, she requested, her voice wavering from the previous firm stance. Blushing softly, she continued. “I have problems reading some of the characters, your dictionaries are shit, and someone explaining it would be better. It’s a bargain for you, for some linguistics you’re getting the best tutoring you could wish for”, she grinned.

“S-sure”, he replied without much pondering. “I mean, I would’ve helped you, if you just asked. But I don’t mind help. Thank you.”

Asuka’s palm met her face. “Shinji, for fuck’s sake, don’t sell yourself short. This is how you landed with most chores in this house, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m just that bad at Jan-ken-pon.”

***

_Thursday afternoon_

“Well, it did work out, so far”, Shinji stated. “We spent, what, six hours with it and you’re already better.”

“Told you it won’t be difficult. I’m a genius after all. And you’re not that stupid, just need some explanation. Our math teacher is… not the best one. You really should’ve bribed me with a cake or something and just asked me for help.”

Shinji smiled. “I didn’t want to bother you. And I was afraid. You have an… overwhelming personality, you know?”

Asuka giggled. “Yeah. Diplomatic words, Third”, she paused. “And you’re no longer afraid of someone you can beat up?”

“I… I don’t think of it as ‘beating up’, more like…” he trailed off. “I don’t know. Training? No, more like… no, this is right. Like helping someone in the gym, setting your posture, something like that?”

Asuka narrowed her eyes at him again. “Okay, I don’t know if it makes sense, but let’s roll with it. But that does not do anything with… fear? Respect?”

Shinji shook his head. “I respected you before and I respect you now, it’s more… you’re no longer, I don’t know, unapproachable, distant, someone I could only watch from afar. I saw you–” he stopped he saw her wince. “Asuka?”

She was silent for a moment. “You saw me cry, is that it?” she almost whispered.

He nodded. “Yes. I don’t know why this made the difference, but…”

“But it did. You know what is fucked up, Third?” she looked him in the eye.

He shook his head.

“That I get it. I…” she trailed off. Silence descended upon the table. After a few long seconds, Shinji reached and put his hand over hers. For a short moment, it felt like she would pull back, but it was just an impression. They stayed like that for a while.

Finally, she shook her head. “I want to talk about this, but not here, not now, not like this. Okay?”

He nodded and smiled. “Sure. We… well, we still have a few problems to solve.”

“Okay, but only if we’re quick about it. If Misato to catch us like this… What’s next?”

“Problem sixty-five, one with the tangent”, he pointed to the equation.

“Phew”, she waved her hand dismissively. “Trivial. First, you convert it like this...”

***

_Friday evening_

A soft knock interrupted Shinji’s bedtime reading; he sprang to his feet and slid the door open. Asuka almost jumped at the surprise.

“A simple ‘come in’ would’ve been enough’, you know?” she stated in an annoyed voice, her eyebrow raised.

“Come in, then”, he smiled and stepped aside, closing the door as she entered; he noticed a small cloth bag on her shoulder – and nothing in her hands. “I wasn’t sure Misato was completely off, did you check on her?”

“Of course I did”, Asuka scoffed. “It’s kind of vital, I never neglect proper preparation before a battle. So, ready for our… time?”

_‘I like the sound of that’, _Shinji realized. “Of course.”

“Good. Let’s waste no time, then”, she put the bag down and retrieved the strap from it.

“How many this time, Asuka?” he asked as he took the implement from her hands. “I think you were fine with forty last time, do we repeat that?”

“Hell no”, she objected. “It’s about learning, too. Do you plan to go full-angry at me, or are your hands still hurting?”

Shinji pondered the question. “I’m not particularly angry at you, I haven’t been for a while, to be honest. But if you prefer–”

Asuka chuckled. “Really. I mean, three times was enough to get rid of all the anger about all I ever did to you? All the shouting, all the violence, all the humiliations, all the moping the floor with you, all the–”

“Asuka?” he raised his eyebrows, his tone carrying a tinge of annoyance.

“Yes?” she blinked innocently.

“Are you trying to **make** me angry?” he inquired in a confused voice.

“Maybe?” she admitted with an unusually nice smile, a smile someone more experienced could even label as ‘seductive’.

“Please, don’t”, he requested in almost a whisper. “You want me to be… forceful, I will be. You want me to be softer but faster, just say so. I don’t…” he paused. “I don’t want to be angry with you, ever again. I want to” – he hesitated – “I want to help you. I want to make you feel better.”

Asuka was listening to him with increasing surprise clear in her eyes. After he finished, she stood there for a few seconds, then grabbed him into a hug; he reciprocated reflexively.

_‘He can’t see the tears, I’m doing it so he doesn’t see the tears’,_ she lied to herself. _‘He can see me cry later – when it’s acceptable. I came here for my fix of pain, for emotional release, for a red ass I’m going to enjoy for the next day or two, but not for this amount of feelings’_, she grumbled internally as she wiped her eyes as discreetly as she could.

“Listen, Third”, she started, her head still on his shoulder and face out of sight. “I l-like it either way. Just… save such confessions for bed, okay? Now I’m in a–”_ ‘Hurt-me-make-me-cry-and-beg-to-stop mood. Yeah, sure, I say that and he’s going to barricade himself in the bathroom. Or worse, panic and run’,_ she realized before resuming. “Now I’m in a mood to get what I need on my bottom. I… I’ll leave the choice to you, thirty at full strength or sixty on reduced. Or until I stop you, of course. And… and don’t tell me which you chose, okay?” she pulled away and smirked.

Shinji nodded, despite expression of doubt clear on his face. “As you wish, Asuka.”

“Great. Last thing; you’re getting better at that so we need a countermeasure for my… reactions”, she reached for her bag again and pulled something that looked like a leather ball on a narrow strap. “That should be enough.”

“What is it?” Shinji eyed the new object suspiciously. “How am I supposed to use it?”

She rolled her eyes. “**I** am going to use it. You put it in your mouth”, she paused to demonstrate. “Aik dif” – she removed it before continuing – “and fasten it behind your head. Even screams are muffled if used properly. I tested it up to my ‘angry’ volume”, she grinned.

_‘You mean, your usual volume, or is there something beyond it?’_ Shinji wanted to ask but decided he does not want to actually test the ‘beyond’ part – or risk Misato’s awakening. So he stood there, looking confused. “All right” he finally stated, “it makes sense, but how you propose you tell me to stop, then?”

“Phew, you think I didn’t think about that? I will just tap out”, she demonstrated with her fingers on the cardboard. “It’s difficult to mistake with anything else, so if you pay attention, you’ll notice.”

“Oh. Right. Sure.” For once, Shinji seemed convinced about something in these strange occurrences. “If there is nothing else, will the lady assume the position?”

Asuka raised an eyebrow. _‘That’s new. Has he been reading up? Or just getting bolder?’ _She walked to the usual box stack and lifted her skirt as usual, tucking it behind the small belt. _‘Wait. Let’s see **how** bold…’_

“Okay, minor change. Last time, you missed twice.” _‘I was too busy to notice that, but hey, it’s not that he’s going to dispute that’_, she admitted to herself. “I don’t want to happen again, so – turn on the lights. Misato’s not going to wake, anyway.”

He nodded and tugged at the lamp chain. Adjusting his sight to the sudden brightness and returning her attention to her, he realized that fulfilling her request might have been a mistake. Seeing her bottom in the twilight of the room was one thing; seeing it in full light was another. Especially with the awareness that a single movement on her part would expose **far** more than he was prepared to witness.

“I’m waiting, you know?” her voice called him back to reality.

“Y-yes, sure”, he took his place. “Asuka…”

“Yes?” her voice was becoming increasingly annoyed.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He eyed the object in her hand.

“Oh. You’re right. For once”, she admitted grudgingly.

Shinji watched transfixed as she opened her mouth wide, inserted the leather ball and bit down on it, and pulled her hair back to fasten the gag strap underneath. He realized his strong reaction to that image became quite obvious quite quickly.

_‘Damn it, I really should have bought those slips instead of boxers. Or find myself some looser pants before she pulps me for… reacting one time too much’,_ he thought while trying to stand in a way that would reduce the erection’s visibility. Of course, in this light and with Asuka’s perceptiveness, he could very well try to conceal Unit-01 in an open field.

Not that Asuka minded. _‘Wait. Is that reaction to my beauty, or to the gag? Or both? If that’s just about seeing my ass for the first time in full light, that’s fine… well, first time without getting pummeled for that. But if that’s about the gag, maybe he is really proper perv…’_ she smirked internally before the paddle touched her bare skin in a gesture she already knew well. She adjusted her position, moving her feet apart for better balance.

Shinji swallowed. His only chance was to focus on the task at hand. Since he had not made a choice beforehand, he only had split seconds to decide; in that fervor, he raised his hand – and struck the first blow with all the might he could muster.

***

Asuka’s eyes widened. _‘Okay, I asked for that myself, and so he chose. How many did I ask for? Thirty? Oh, I’m so fucked. This is going to royally **hurt**’,_ she realized the obvious. With a hint of embarrassment, she realized something else: _‘And I am going to love every second of–’_

The next blow came, taking the thoughts away. Then the next, starting the fire. Then the next, bringing a yelp. With satisfaction, she noticed that it was completely silenced.

_‘Well, finally, I got it all covered–’_

Shinji’s strength and determination really left very little opportunities for thinking.

***

Shinji’s panic cleared surprisingly quickly; he assessed the situation, counted the blows dealt, realized that they were given at full strength, and decided not to think too much about what he _could_ see. All that counted now was Asuka’s need and his help in it.

There was also this small, treacherous voice in his head telling him that she would not _mind_ if he saw something; telling him that she might _like_ to be admired. That she told him to switch on the lights for a _reason_. The same voice was telling him that he did not miss even a single blow last time – and that Asuka just needed a pretense.

He decided to ignore that for a moment.

***

Asuka Langley-Shikinami was breathing hard. The gag was not helping.

Her spanking just ended. With her head still reeling from the experience and the effort of will required not to tap out, she noticed that Shinji put the paddle aside and was reaching for her hand – slow and steady, but clearly ready to pull back at any moment.

Moving her hand slowly, she met his half-way. He smiled and wordlessly pulled her into his embrace, resting his back against the wall. She readily sunk into that embrace. Her sobs turned into honest crying, and tears, already flowing freely, covered her face.

One thing was off, though.

She pulled away, just enough to reach for the fastening and pulled the gag out. As she swallowed and wiped the drool from her chin, a stray thought appeared: _‘Why don’t I mind looking like this in front of him? Like a total mess?’_

She wanted to file it for later – before looking into his eyes. There was nothing in them that would make her feel judged or put down – just care and a smile, waiting for her.

_‘Fuck me. And **this** was in arms’ reach all the time?’_

She just clung to him and started crying in the earnest.

***

“Asuka…” Shinji started once she finally detached herself from him with a sigh and collected both leather items into her bag.

“Yes?” her voice was still hoarse. “If you want a note on that one, that was definitely nine out of ten”, she added.

He raised an eyebrow. “Not a ten?”

“I’m saving a ten for something… mind-blowing, not just mind-moving, okay?” she smirked. “So, keep it up and you _might_ get there.”

He nodded. “I will. Will you…” he started, unsure. “Will you be staying the night?”

Her heart, calmed by the crying session, sped up again. It was only now when she realized with how much hope she was looking at him when he asked. She turned her head away and pondered the answer.

Finally she shook her head in refusal. “Yes, gladly”, she heard herself saying. _‘Hey! It’s not only my body betraying me, now it’s my mouth, too?’_ she grumbled internally. “Thank you”, she added.

_‘What’s next? At this rate of being spanked into being nice, I’m going to be kissing his hands soon’_, she kept grumbling. _‘I must really think this through_’, she decided. _‘But not today. Today… today will be another a night without nightmares. But, first things first.’_

“I’m going to the bathroom. We… both need some time before bed, right?”

Shinji nodded, his face redder than a moment ago. “Sure. Definitely. Yes.”

“Good. I’d hate to share the bed with someone who takes too short to brush his teeth”, her still-husky voice regained some of her usual cheekiness. “See you soon”, she smiled and strolled out of the room.

Shinji’s eyes followed her every movement. _‘I really hope one round will be enough’_, he thought to himself, the enticing image burned in his brain and the problem standing right before him.

***

“Do you have any questions for a well-prepared genius to answer?” Asuka asked offhandedly as they slowly settled onto the bed after more than half an hour of preparations on both sides. As Shinji quickly noticed after her return, she mercifully put her underwear on.

“Yes… two, actually. What’s that smell?” he asked once they lied down, their legs intertwined, their faces just a few inches apart. Equally mercifully, Asuka decided not to check for his… compliment status this time.

“M? Ah, yes. Baby oil. I… read it helps the skin heal. I’ve got more than enough problems to add stupid questions from the PE teachers. Don’t worry, does very little to soothe the pain”, she smirked. “I would not squander something like that”, she added, her voice softer.

“Oh. I see. Makes sense”, he replied, silencing a voice that was nagging him to ask whether _he_ could put it on her bottom next time.

“Something else nagging you?” Asuka stretched, careful not to roll to her back.

Shinji blinked and forced himself to focus. “I was wondering… how did you got your hands on those things? The ones we… use? They don’t exactly sell them in convenience stores, at least not those I visit.”

Asuka’s grinned. “Why? So you can buy something more vicious or fancier and surprise me?”

“I-I mean-maybe?”

She raised her eyebrows, the grin reduced to a smile. “There’s a leather workshop in the outskirts of the city. The owner was nice enough not to ask too many questions about the purpose, especially that I did my best to look… older. His work is not cheap, but definitely of quality.”

“Oh. I see. And quick? You had those two things done in just a few days each?”

“Three”, Asuka corrected automatically.

“Three?” he inquired.

She glared at him, a sign of panic squashed in a split-second. “Never mind, don’t ask. Yeah, he’s accommodating when you offer a smile, some leg – may not work for you – and a bonus for skipping the queue”, Asuka elaborated as she pulled him closer. The time of mercy has ended; full body contact, even through two layers of fabric on most of the body, caused the obvious reaction – which the redhead graced with just a smile and a small brow wiggle. “Anything else?”

“W-why the hurry?” he managed despite the disruption.

“Do you really have to ask?” she narrowed her eyes. “I like to do things **properly**, you know? I don’t settle for half measures, if you haven’t noticed”, she explained.

“You gave me a choice today. ‘Slow’ was a half measure option, wasn’t it?”

She giggled; her eyes gleamed mischievously. “Oh, no. It’s a different kind of pain, yes, but still same intensity. It’s persistent, grows slowly. It’s longer, so it gets into your head, it feels like it’s never ending. No, no, this is not a half-measure. Know your art, Shinji. Both are… fine.” She paused and took a long breath. “I’m tired. I want to sleep”, she decided, suddenly rolling in the spot. Equally suddenly, Shinji felt the heat of the freshly-spanked skin against his own. And a butt wiggle, as Asuka settled into a comfortable position.

“Asuka, I–” he started.

“Shut up and hold me.”

“I just–”

“I don’t mind, I told you.”

“Shut up and listen”, he blurted out, still in whisper; Asuka froze in a mild shock. “I like when you do that” he continued. “And… I really like your skin. I mean I like how it feels. It’s so… soft.”

The redhead was quiet for a moment; Shinji was about to start apologizing when he heard a soft “thank you”, followed by Asuka moving even closer.

“Shinji…” she murmured.

“Mm?”

_‘Touch my body, all of it. Touch it, adore it, adore me. Make me c–’_ she cut the thought before even it was fully articulated. _‘Backtrack. Backtrack!’_, she panicked before finally deciding on a simple “Hold me”.

He smiled. This was something he knew.

The sleep came to them soon after. The nightmares did not come at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a high opinion about the intelligence of people engaging in BDSM, but for the peace of my conscience (and for those that have less experience) I thought I enclose a disclaimer. Thus:
> 
> Events described here do not exactly fit the Safe, Sane, and Consensual paradigm (the spanking, not the trigonometry). They are consensual, yes, but while they do follow the protocol (have a safeword, think how to adjust it, talk beforehand), what they do can be physically dangerous for some (the amount of hits Asuka chooses to endure is quite high and could be dangerous for some people), putting the Safe and Sane components in question. Therefore, no physicial activity described in this story should be attempted, unless the practitioners know what they are doing and have some experience in spanking/paddling/strapping/etc. Play safe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Content note:** while this story has always been marked as NSFW, this is the chapter where it gets a little bit franker with sexual descriptions and a bit less safe to read. This trend will continue for the next few chapters. Caveat lector.

_Monday morning; D-12_

“What? Why?” Asuka’s voice reached the high registers; Misato winced. The early morning was never a good time for her, doubly so when she was hungover. Which was close to ‘always’ in recent times.

“Asuka, please. Have mercy on my head”, Misato grumbled before regaining her formal speaking voice. “I said: you have physicals next week. It’s part of your work as a pilot, isn’t it? Once every three months, all pilots are given examinations; it’s routine and required by NERV regulations. Didn’t you have something like that in Germany?”

“Well, yes”, the redhead admitted. “And I even had one before being deployed here. What’s the point of repeating it?”

Misato let out a heavy sigh. This morning has already been a pain to her and Asuka was not helping, making far too much fuss about something so minor. “Because it is a routine thing for all pilots, and if you skip them now, there will be too long before the next ones are scheduled. And Doctor Akagi won’t hold them specifically for you just because you don’t feel like doing them right now”, she explained with surprising amount of patience for her condition.

Asuka let out a sigh. “Stupid regulations, I get that. Okay, when?”

“Next Saturday”, Misato stated before abruptly changing her tone of voice from ‘monotone and annoyed’ to ‘seriously annoyed’. “Would you **please** sit down? You’re towering over me, it feels weird.”

Asuka took a deep breath and clenched her teeth. Finally, she waved her hand dismissively, standing next to the table despite the direct request. “All right”, she said in a barely constrained tone. “I get it”, she gulped the rest of her breakfast down. “And you could appreciate the fact that I’m blocking the sun that could get in your face. Come on, Third”, she turned to Shinji who was still doing something in the kitchen. “We’re already late!”

“Just let me pack the bentos”, he requested in a soft voice. “Or you can help me with them.”

A few seconds later a pair of hands was holding his bag open for him. “But of course”, Asuka replied in mock-chirpy voice, clearly directed against Misato’s sensitive ears, but with enough mockery to quell any suspicions; Misato groaned. “If you need an additional pair of hands just to **pack** things, perhaps you’re unqualified for this task?” Asuka added in a loud, vitriolic tone. Looking up, Shinji saw a smirking face framed by the red hair; a stark contrast to the unpleasant voice. He could only smile back, trying not to show too much of the confusion.

“Is that all, idiot?”, Asuka kept going, her expression still contrasting with the acerbic words. “I don’t want to go hungry or be forced to eat the crap they serve in the cafeteria. I get food poisoning from that. Not that anyone here would **care**!”

“Asuka, by the mercy of God, would you please **stop talking**?” an annoyed request from the table drowned out Shinji’s protesting reply. “Or at least tone it down?”

“Sorry, sorry, we’re off already!” the redhead shouted out in response, putting on her ‘annoyed face’ mask on – and eliciting another groan due to the sheer volume of the voice. “Move, Third!”

***

“Fuck me”, Asuka cursed and kicked a stone as they were on the street on their way towards the bus stop. “That ‘physicals’ crap means going two weeks without your… assistance.”

“What? Oh. Right”, he realized. “Sorry, you’re right.”

“You didn’t think of that, did you?” she grumbled.

“I don’t know how long your bruises last, to be honest. I try… not to look too closely”, he admitted sheepishly.

She giggled, her somber mood dispelled for a moment. “I told you that you **can** look, didn’t I? You get that special pass to admire me! Don’t be stupid, make use of it! Your friends and half the class would kill for such an opportunity”, she grinned.

“It’s… hard”, he replied weakly.

“I’ve noticed”, she smirked and cast her eyes down for a second.

“Wha– ah!” with a panicked expression he looked around then down.

She giggled again. “Yeah. And you still fall for the joke. And they last for a while”, her somber mood suddenly returned. “I had some bruising all the time since we… started. And I liked them”, she grumbled. “Well, I’ll survive”, she sighed. “Just don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

“I just hope you–” he stopped himself seeing her inquisitive look. “Never mind”, he shook his head

Asuka suddenly stopped and grabbed him by the arm. “Out with it, Third”, she demanded with a glare. “Talk. I won’t hit you unless it’s really stupid”, she declared, then paused. “No, scratch that. I won’t hit you for anything you tell me unless you’re clearly malicious”, she paused again before nodding. “Okay, sounds good for now. So, talk to me.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I just hope…” he started hesitantly. “I wish you won’t revert to… well, violence, fire, and brimstone once we stop… well…” he looked at her with worry.

“You mean once you’re not keeping me in line?” she asked in a mocking voice and with a raised eyebrow. “Well, if I did, there would be hell to pay _after_ the physicals, right? Or would you lack the guts to pay me back?” she poked at his side. “You threatened me already, don’t you remember?”

He pondered for a moment. “No, not if you deserved it, no”, he declared with unusual certainty; Asuka’s expression changed for a split second; he could not make out the details, but it seemed to be… satisfaction? “But… I really prefer to do it… well… not as punishment? Even if it is? I mean–”

“You prefer maintenance spankings to punitive spankings”, she summarized, nodding her head. “I get it.”

“Maintenance spankings?”, he scratched his head. “Sorry, I’m still a bit off on the terminology.”

“No wonder, you’re not as good at research as I am”, Asuka shrugged. “And let me guess, school content filter told you what the Japanese school system thinks of teenagers trying to research perfectly normal subjects? Don’t worry, I will send you some sources tonight. For education, not for suggestions!”

He nodded. “Makes sense, thank you.”

“And maintenance spanking is one that keeps the…”, she paused to find an appropriate word; the obvious ‘sub’ was on the tip of her tongue, but calling herself that was unacceptable. Even if it _felt_ correct. “That keeps the spanked person” – she chose, unhappy with how technical it sounded – “in the proper mood and right mindset without actually punishing them for anything. In other words, maintaining it. Or keeping your car running by doing regular check-ups.”

“Or a person to the doctor for evaluation instead of going there when you’re feeling really ill. I see”, he nodded before noticing Asuka’s sour expression. “Ah. Sorry.”

Asuka rolled her eyes. “Yeah. That too.” She let out a sigh. “And I have to find **some** way to reduce bruises anyway; if teachers notice they’ll ask questions, and then Misato starts to ask questions, and I really don’t know if I can hide that many bodies”, she let out another sigh.

Shinji just stared at her. “Asuka?”

“A joke, Third”, she chuckled. “I’m not a murderer. I only kill Angels, right? And now, come on”, she grabbed his hand, sending a jolt through his system. “Hikari gets cranky when we’re late. And her grumbling is annoying”, he elaborated and pulled him along.

He thought she would let him go once he started walking, but to his surprise, she kept holding his hand until they reached the bus station. This definitely made him nervous, but it was difficult to deny the fact that it made him happy, too.

***

_Tuesday afternoon; D-11_

The two teenagers were sitting at the kitchen table; the smell of the recently cooked dinner was permeating the air.

“Okay, now you try”, Shinji handed the pen to Asuka. She tilted her head, eyed the kanji in front of her, and wrote her version down.

Shinji looked critically at the scribbling, then nodded. “Crooked, but legible.” He pointed to a single line. “Just fix this, and it will be fine–”

Asuka wrote it again. “Like this?”

Shinji nodded, pleasantly surprised at the non-violent reaction to his critique. “Exactly. What’s next?”

Asuka’s eyes went absent for a second. “Next, we scatter”, she said in an annoyed voice. “That’s Misato’s car. Fuck, I was hoping for some more.”

“I have time in the evening. If you want to”, he offered.

“We can’t, have you forgotten?” she grumbled. “Physicals?”

He stared at her for a few seconds in confusion. Finally, it dawned on him; a blush followed. “For studying, Asuka”, he smiled. “Who’s the perv now?”

Asuka narrowed her eyes at him, her face outraged; he could not tell if it was real or pretend from her expression alone, but as she was not trying to hit him, it was likely the latter. “You are! I’m a prim and proper lady.”

“Here, you are”, his smile remained warm. “No doubt. But behind the closed doors…” he trailed off and started collecting the notebooks.

“You’re enjoying rubbing this into my face, don’t you, you bastard?” her grumble turned to a growl.

“Maybe?” he braved as he pointed her own notebook and books to her. “Come on”, his voice suddenly turned serious. “We need to stash that away and pretend to be lazing around. We have–”

A beep and a hiss the door told them exactly how much time they had. Shinji grabbed Asuka’s papers, pushed the entire stack in her hands, and pointed the door to her room. She nodded quickly and retreated there just as Misato announced her arrival in a tired voice; Shinji replied from the kitchen with a cheerful invitation for her to relax and eat.

With the door closed behind Asuka, she let out a sigh. _‘That was close. Stupid Misato. If she could treat us as normal people, not her… shipping project, all this would be far less problematic.’_

She dropped the stack on her desk. _‘And he’s right, I’m a perv, just like him, this was literally the first thing I thought about. Oh well, fuck that, he’s not holding it against me’_, she concluded. ‘_Now it’s time to eat, get Misato drunk, and continue. What has the world come to – we must hide the fact that we’re **studying together**’, s_he shook her head. _‘That’s our guardian for us, I guess, far less mature than we are’_, she concluded, put on her ‘annoyed Asuka’ mask, and left to join the others at the dinner.

***

_Later that evening_

A soft knock at the door interrupted Shinji’s reading. “Come in”, he said in a surprised voice.

“Come out”, Asuka’s amused voice sounded in the darkness. “She’s out and I have a question or two I could still use your help with.”

“Oh, sure, give me a moment.”

Putting his pants on, he realized this was the first time in a while Asuka came to his room in business other than their sessions – and maybe the first time she openly _asked_ him for help without demands or bargaining.

_‘Maybe people really can change?’_

***

Asuka yawned, barely caring to cover her mouth. Shinji, unable to resist the infectious gesture, followed suit with more care to cover himself.

“Thanks, Shinji. That should do it”, she spoke up. “At least until the next section.”

“We can go ahead if you wish”, he offered.

She raised an eyebrow. “Still have the patience for me? Mine is wearing thin with your questions on physics, you know?”

“S-sorry, I thought–” he started to stutter.

Asuka’s palm met her face as she chuckled. “Boy, you’re still so easy to fluster. This never changes. And if you try to pull out of the deal now, you’re going to suffer, consequences be damned.”

He composed himself and shrugged with an apologetic smile. “This is who I am, Asuka. I know you… don’t like it, but I…”

“Hm?” she looked at him inquisitively. “What ‘I’?”

“I… I can’t change it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “First, bullshit. People change. Second: what did you **really** want to say?” she inquired and raised from her seat to lean over him. “You may give me twenty more once this is all done for stressing you, I’ll take it, but **talk to me**.”

He swallowed. “Okay, just…” he blinked, trying to stave off panic. “Sit down?”

Her face softened a bit as she backed down. “All right. I’m listening.”

“I wanted to say…” he paused. She was still eyeing him. He started to talk fast: “I wanted to say I don’t like some things about you to, so it’s only fair you don’t like some about me, right?” he managed on one short breath.

She tilted her head. There were two conflicting emotions in her, both based on pride: the wounded pride due to someone telling her she was not perfect and being proud of him overcoming his panic and doubt.

She took a deep breath. “What don’t you like about me?”

“Is this the right–”

“It’s not something you leave me hanging with, Third”, she demanded.

“Well, you’re loud, aggressive, and violent”, he started. “And… you often don’t care for the needs of others, I guess.”

She rolled her eyes. “I had to fight tooth and nail for what I am, Third. I will never apologize for that. And you people have… odd standards of ‘caring for the needs of others’ here.”

He shrugged with an apologetic expression on his face. “Well… you asked.”

“Yes. I know, we should talk about it. But not here, and not now”, she stifled another yawn. “I thought it was something more immediate… but not now. Definitely not now. After this is done, I mean our… break, and we’re back to the… routine. Okay? It’s easier to talk… after.”

He nodded and smiled. “Sure.”

“Great”, her voice was increasingly sleepy. She rose and started collecting her notes. “Thanks for all that.”

“Asuka…” his low-key voice followed her.

“Mm?”

“Can we…” he tried with visible effort.

She raised her eyebrow on him. “Yes?”

“Can we… have a hug before bed?”

She shook her head. _‘Damn it, stop being so… sweet about this. Am I supposed to be this “tough and unapproachable” one?’_ she grumbled internally. Another thought contested this one: _‘But… why? Do we need the ‘tough one’ here? Hugs are good. Hugs are friendly. He’s Japanese, they don’t like touching, and it’s **him** asking. Nothing’s wrong here, right? And I like his… touch.’_

“I guess”, she managed to sound less eager that she really was. “Just let me put those away, okay? I’m back in a minute.”

He nodded and they both went their separate ways. Several moments later, she emerged from her room; he was already waiting there, his body language screaming both ‘need’ and ‘awkwardness’.

“Come here”, she took a few steps towards him and quickly locked him in an embrace. He reciprocated immediately. _‘Mm, warm. I like him warm.’ _That conclusion was immediately followed by a bitter _‘But I’m not having any of this tonight. Fuck NERV’s stupid policies…’_

They stayed in the embrace for a long while, none of them willing to be the one to spoil the moment. Finally, Asuka relaxed her grip and stepped away. Looking for words to say, she found none; she just leaned towards him and placed a kiss on his cheek. No longer a peck, this was a full, warm kiss; she was sorely tempted to place it on his lips, too. _‘It’s just a kiss… just a single kiss…’_ was rattling in her head. She shook it off. _‘Too soon. It would not end with “just a kiss”, I know myself too well for that.’_

“Bye, Third. See you tomorrow.”

“Yes. Tomorrow”, he managed, clearly blushing.

She just giggled as she went back to her room. Closing her door behind her, she struggled not to think about how much she wanted to just grab him and pull him inside, all the way to her bed.

_‘Reasonable. Be reasonable. He’d think too much. He’d not appreciate it. It’s just a few days more’_, she kept deceiving herself.

The night ahead seemed cold and hostile.

***

Shinji Ikari was sitting on his futon, trying to read a book. He lost the habit of listening to his SDAT player; even if Asuka was unlikely to come knocking today, he always listened for her.

His thoughts went back to the end of the evening. _‘I… I got brave. Too brave… I think. But she didn’t mind, did she? Didn’t… hesitate. I wonder if it would be like this before…’_

He recalled their previous interaction – unfriendly, often violent, filled with aggression on her side and defensive posture on his side. _‘I guess not. She’d laugh at me, maybe even slap me for asking for that.’_

He let out a sigh. _‘And we would never talk or spend time together like that. And it’s… nice_’, he admitted to himself. _‘I like when she just **talks**, I like to watch her thinking, I like…’_

Realization dawned on his face. _‘I just like **her**. As Asuka, even if I still don’t get her, don’t understand her. And I like her body, too…’_

He blushed. She was right about one thing: his friends would kill for a glimpse of what he saw. And even without that, he had to admit that Asuka was attractive, even beautiful. She usually underscored her feminine qualities when she could wear something else than her uniform, but as much as he liked to see that, he also admired how athletic her body was. She moved like a dancer, and he was quite sure she could wipe the floor with an attacker twice her size.

Before things changed between them, he was genuinely afraid of her. Now, he was merely aware of the danger – and convinced it was not directed at him, unless he acted in a way that would surprise or disturb her.

_‘Touji would certainly say something about “taming the beast” if he ever knew, or “conquering the Red Devil”… but I didn’t **tame** her. She… I just did what she asked me. I… helped her. Assisted her’_, he kept pondering. _‘And then we talked. And talked. And then she came again…’_

His thoughts drifted towards their sessions, mostly skipping over the spankings and focusing on their time on this very futon. Asuka speaking openly, her voice varying: sometimes serious, sometimes flippant; sometimes focused, sometimes distracted and unconcerned; but what was most important, she usually sounded _happy_.

_‘And I like to see her happy’_, he realized.

He let out a sigh and rolled to his side. _‘Wait a moment…’_

He jumped to his feet and looked at a stack of sheets and a few shirts he left from the previous laundry day due to not having enough space in the laundry basket. He forgot about it until now. After a moment of fishing, he smiled triumphantly and retrieved a pillowcase. _‘That’s the one’_, he sniffed it with hope.

It smelled faintly of strawberries.

His smile widened; he quickly changed his pillow out of the fresh one – put just yesterday – to the one he dug out and laid down. The faint scent definitely improved his mood and strengthened the recollection of memories of their talks – along with his wish for her to just come through his door, no questions asked, no spanking needed. Just for the company.

He fell asleep waiting for a knock that never came.

***

_Wednesday morning; D-10_

Asuka Langley-Shikinami woke up hearing the alarm a room away, despite it being deactivated in perfect two seconds from sounding. She pulled the sheets over her head. The gray dawn behind her window was not encouraging.

The problem was that staying in bed did not sound much better. “I hate mornings”, she grumbled. “I hate waking up.”

_‘I’d rather roll to my side and cling to him’_, she suddenly realized before shaking it off. _‘Since when I need someone? Get a grip, Shikinami!’_

A small voice in her head piped in: _‘Since you learned company can be good. As long as it is the one you like.’_

She shook her head again. Thinking about it too much would make her foul mood even worse. She slowly crawled out of her bed and tried to start her morning routine.

***

In the dark, windowless room, Shinji Ikari was doing a bit better; he was far more used to mornings, and it took him just a few minutes to reach the bathroom, complete his routine, and start the work in his domain that was the apartment’s kitchen. His thoughts from yesterday still bothered him, of course, but he knew that thinking about Asuka while handling a hot pan was a short ticket to the burn ward – and Asuka – not to mention Misato – getting angry at him.

Following this logic, he simply focused on things in front of him; this time, they required far less emotional investment than taking care of Asuka’s needs.

***

In a dark room with its windows covered, Colonel Misato Katsuragi stirred back to life, her mouth dry and her head slightly pounding. As for hangovers, this was merely a two out of ten.

The problem was that in recent times, she was having them all the time.

“I hate this job… but hey, at least we’re saving the world”, she grumbled as she managed to rise and follow the delicious smells that were coming from the kitchen. Being greeted with a cup of some odd counter-hangover solution that Shinji had developed recently reassured her once more that taking him as her ward was a good decision.

On the other hand, loud – at least to her sensitive perceptions – sounds of annoyance coming from the bathroom and the sight of Pen Pen being chased by towel-wrapped Asuka made her question the wisdom of taking the other one.

_‘Still, Shinji needed company, Asuka needed someone to look after her who was more reliable than Kaji, and I definitely can still use the ward pay NERV provides.’_

With that thought, she quickly passed by Pen Pen who was clearly heading to the bathroom; the penguin barked with annoyance, shrugged, and headed back to his personal fridge.

***

_Thursday afternoon; D-9_

Shinji Ikari emerged from his room with his math handbook and notebooks; he was about to start his homework; with just a hint of worry, he realized he was going to need some help with the content of the problems.

Asuka Langley-Shikinami emerged from her room with her math handbook and notebooks; she was about to start her homework; with just a hint of worry, she realized she was going to need some help with the descriptions of the problems.

The two teenagers stared at each other for a few seconds from their respective door frames. Then, at the same time, they started giggling.

“Kitchen table?” Shinji suggested. “The dinner is cooking, but it’s not very loud.”

“Kitchen table”, she agreed. “Let me guess, the new chapter on algebra disagrees with you?” she asked with a smirk as they sat down.

“Let me guess, the new kanji disagree with you?” he replied, mirroring her smirk.

She narrowed her eyes and cast him a glare. “Careful, Third. I have limits to my tolerance to your cheekiness.”

He somehow managed to withstand the glare. “Careful, Second. You also have limits to the tolerance of your bottom.”

She narrowed her eyes even further; Shinji was aware that he will not be able to stand her look for much longer. _‘Just… a… few… more… seconds…’_

Fortunately to him, she laughed before he had to look away. He followed suit, with his laughter only slightly tinged with nervousness.

“I really wonder if we’d be let even **near** the Evas if they knew how crazy we are”, she managed after the laughter died out.

“Not that they have many replacements”, Shinji retorted. “To be honest, there’s a reason we only have physical examinations, not mental ones.”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me”, she grumbled. “They’re still far away and I’m not any happier about that.”

“I know”, he replied in a sympathetic voice. “Math?”

“Math”, she agreed.

***

_Friday evening, D-8_

Asuka Langley-Shikinami was sitting at her desk, thinking, and trying to stop her mind from running in circles.

_‘Perhaps if I told him to do it over the clothing, they’ll not be **that** visible?’_ she was pondering her options. _‘But that would make it hardly worth it, I suppose. And maybe I won’t have to strip down at all at physicals, that’ll solve the problem. But how can I ask Misato about that? She’ll get suspicious… fuck.’_

She started to pace around the room. _‘For fuck’s sake, why am I so restless?’_

She retrieved the doll from the secret drawer and put it on her hand. “Why can’t I sit still?” she asked, dropping on the bed.

“Maybe because you got used to it?” the doll animated. “It’s easy to get used to pleasure. It’s addictive.”

“Huh… pleasure. It hurts, you know?” Asuka retorted.

“Pleasantly”, the doll moved again. “We’ve been over this, Asuka. It’s a pleasure for you. And you’re deprived now.”

“It’s been just six days, seven if you count today”, she protested. “That’s just a bit longer than the average time I wait between… sessions. Shouldn’t be **that** bad.”

“It’s simple, Asuka: it’s so bad because you are being denied”, the doll danced on Asuka’s hand. “Because it’s not a choice on your part. Go to him, just spend time with him. It will be easier.”

Asuka pouted. “I can’t pull him for a study session because Misato’s still up and not drinking much tonight; she’d make stupid remarks. Also, wouldn’t it make me want that even worse?”

“Do you miss the spanking?” the doll moved. “Or just him?”

Asuka clenched her jaw. Talking like this was usually helpful, but it also led to unexpected conclusions. Conclusions she did not always want to accept, but that were there, nonetheless. At least this way, they were voiced instead of festering beneath the surface.

“Fuck. I… I miss all that. I miss the attention. When he’s doing… it… it’s like I’m all that matters to him in the world. When he holds me… oh, damn it.”

“You’re in–” the doll started in a chirpy voice.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” She reached for the doll with her other hand. “Don’t you dare say it, or you’re kissing the wall. It’s absurd.”

“Maybe it is”, the doll’s voice was sulky. “Maybe it is not. And what about time in bed with him? Miss that too?”

“I l-like it. It’s… peaceful. He’s caring. And warm. And it’s funny to feel his embarrassment sometimes”, Asuka giggled.

“My, my, aren’t **we** glad being wet isn’t as obvious as an erection?” the doll animated in almost a dance.

Asuka narrowed her eyes. “You’re not helping.”

“But I’m riiiight, aren’t I?” the dance continued.

“Yes!” Asuka blurted out before pushing the volume of her voice back down. “I’m glad he doesn’t know. I’m not so far to tell him, you know”, she grumbled out.

“But you like how he makes you feel. Perhaps you should tell him **that**?” the doll animated. “It could make him happy? He likes to make people feel good.”

Asuka let out a resigned sigh, ignoring the implication. “Maybe I will. But not now. In bed.”

“You should talk to him outside the bed, too”, the doll moved, the tone going back from ‘excited’ to ‘normal’.

“One step at a time, Asuka. One step at a time. Now, I have things to do.”

The doll animated a nod before Asuka pulled it off her hand and replaced it in the drawer.

_‘Things to do. Right. One **thing** to do’_ she grinned as she retrieved the gag from the same hiding place. Putting it in her mouth, she felt the familiar tingling in her stomach, slowly radiating down. _‘Huh. I’m really messed up, aren’t I? It’s just a piece of leather, and I’m reacting to it like… this. Ah, what the hell.’_

As she slowly removed all her clothing a thought struck her: _‘Maybe, maybe I should take a spanking like this? “Look, Shinji, I’ve got nothing to hide!” And then watch him get a nosebleed and pass out’_, she giggled to herself.

_‘Or not. Maybe I can get him used to this…’_ she looked down on her body. _‘One step at a time.’_

Dropping down on the bed and reaching between her legs, she brought the images and sensations of the previous spanking to her mind – and the orgasm she had between the session and sharing the futon with Shinji. Some memories of him embracing her tightly joined as well.

Pretty soon she was glad she put the gag in.

***

_Monday night; D-5_

Asuka’s eyes shot open in the darkness of her room; the darkness that was full of shapes. She felt as if the veil of the dream was not entirely lifted yet; her heart was pounding and she was cold.

All this was normal; those were the sensations she always had when awakening from a nightmare. But this was the first nightmare in the last few weeks. She began to forget how they felt.

_‘Fuck. And I was so fine… Are those withdrawal symptoms already? Am I that addicted? I guess I am…’_ she thought bitterly. _‘Well, it’s not that much waiting left, I can make it. I will get my fix by the weekend…’_

She breathed deeply for a long while, calming her heart down. Clutching the pillow again, she recalled the several tricks she worked out over the restless years to calm down and go back to sleep.

None of them worked.

_‘The medicine is just behind a wall… well, two walls’,_ a treacherous part of her mind was whispering to her. _‘Go to him. You don’t need to be alone.’_

She growled. “It would look weird. I won’t beg. He’ll think too much about it and start to abuse it.”

She shook her head. Another thought was forming, scratching insistently at her will. _‘He would never abuse it. He’s different. He helps you. He **cares**.’_

Asuka drove her nails into the mattress. Normally, this would be a problem to resolve by talking to the doll-Asuka, but she was unwilling to do this so soon after waking from a nightmare. The resurfacing memory of the past attempts done in the middle of the night and things that could resurface from her head made her shiver.

_‘Fuck that’,_ she hit the mattress with her fist_. _‘_Fuck it all. If he abuses it, I’ll just straight murder him. Or beat him up bloody and then take what he throws at me once the time comes. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to die of thirst on a bank of a river.’_

She sprang out of bed, slid her door open, and tiptoed around the apartment. Own door closed – check. Misato is sleeping – check. Shinji responds to knocking – wait for it…

A sleepy “Yes?” sounded in response, followed by a “Come in?”

She slid into his room and quickly dropped on her knees next to his futon. Not that far back, it would be more natural for her to sit – but sitting was not something she associated with this place anymore. That thought brought a smile on her face – and a pang of annoyance at the same time.

Shinji was looking at her with half-open eyes. “Asuka? Something happened? Are you all right?”

“I’m… fine”, she lied. “Or not”, she corrected herself. “Listen, Third. I’m cold and… and I won’t mind some company. We don’t need to talk, I don’t need… assistance. Not that we could, now”, she kept going.

“Asuka… just… come” his voice was quite sleepy. “Just… lie down”, he added, disentangling his hand from the sheets and touching hers.

“You sure?” she double-checked warily.

“Asuka”, his voice gained a tinge of annoyance, audible even through the sleepy haze. “Please, either lie down and sleep with me or go and sleep alone”, he grumbled in a still-absent voice, grabbing her wrist firmly.

_‘Why, it seems “go” is not an option after all’_, she noticed wryly. _‘Are you even awake? Well, either way… you invited me, you’re stuck with me.’_

She slid down under the warm sheets; a moment later she was locked in a strong embrace; his skin felt hot against her own, even thorough the two layers of fabric.

“You’re cold. Let me warm you”, came an increasingly sleepy voice from Shinji. “I don’t want you to be cold. I’ll keep you warm. Just come when you’re cold.” The last words were slurred; she could not be sure if he was really awake at that point.

Something stirred in her stomach and her heart fluttered. _‘Why is he like this? What have I done to deserve this? And what if he decides I’m too much trouble?’_ she shivered.

His breath was steady and his grasp firm; the was slowly calming her. _‘Well, I guess I’ll kill him. Or beat him up. And we’d be back to square one. Or just fried by an Angel.’_

Asuka pressed her body against his, relishing in the heat. Shinji was not exactly the ‘grown man’ type she had her eyes for, but he was certainly pleasant to touch – and quite huggable.

_‘No, I’m not losing him. I want him, and I’m keeping him. Till death do us part.’_

Completely ignoring the heavy implications of her conclusion, she wiggled against him and settled in comfortably. The expected pressure that rose against her bottom was an amusing reassurance that things were in order. This time the skin was less sensitive and that diminished the sensation a bit – but did not diminish her satisfaction of having this little bit of control over him.

_‘I’ll make it work. We will make it work. Even if I have to kill for that. Even if I have to teach him to kill for that. I will make it work.’_

The sleep came to her; this time, the nightmares were replaced with dreams of grand battles. Battles they fought together.

***

_The next morning, Tuesday, D-4_

Shinji’s alarm went off way too early, but as usual, he managed to awaken within two seconds from its start. What surprised him was that he was unable to disable it – his hand was blocked by something holding it firmly. Something that was making sounds of annoyance and starting to flail around.

Faint memories of the night intrusion came back to him. _‘Oh. Right. Asuka came to me. We… talked? Or was it a dream?’_

With some more effort, he freed his hand and disabled the alarm. Hearing footsteps, he jumped up and peeked through the door only to see a hunched back of a clearly hungover Misato as she was entering the bathroom. Turning quickly, he leaned over the redhead that was in his futon.

“Asuka, wake up – Misato’s already on her feet – you need to go back!” he managed to shout in a whisper.

Asuka, for all her not-a-morning-person nature, knew how to handle alarms and dangers. She jumped up from the futon.

One head collision, several ‘ouch’ and ‘sorry’ reactions, and thirty seconds of recovery later, she collected herself, Shinji, and her thoughts. Kissing him on the cheek, she whispered “see you later”, gave the apartment a quick scan through the crack, and disappeared behind the door.

Shinji stood there for a full minute, rubbing his cheek and grinning like an idiot at the memory of Asuka completely tousled, with her just-woke-up hair. _‘She wouldn’t be happy if I told her she looks cute like that. I wonder… would she ever let me take care of her hair? Would she take the time to teach me how to?’_

He shook his head. _‘One thing at a time. Breakfast, then shower. And then a long day’,_ he sighed with resignation before smiling. _‘And perhaps even an evening with her.’_

Suddenly, the gray dawn did not look so gray anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

_Tuesday, D-4; after school_

The two teenagers left the bus at their usual stop. The afternoon was, as usual in the post-Impact Japan, quite hot; Asuka was getting increasingly uncomfortable in her school uniform; it was clearly designed for cooler walls of the school, not for the outside.

“I need to do some shopping for the dinner”, Shinji started. “See you at the apartment”, he surreptitiously reached for Asuka’s hand and squeezed it softly.

“Oh no you don’t”, Asuka’s eyes flared up and she smirked. Shinji felt his hand caught in a vice-like grip. “I know what you’re planning, you don’t want to talk to me.”

Shinji stared at her with confused eyes. “I mean… you can go with me if you want”, he finally managed. “I just thought you said you hated grocery shopping.”

She shrugged. “I do. But you’re **not **getting away from me so easily”, she smirked.

He shook his head. He tried to find some reply, but the absurdity of the situation caused his brain to seize. “Come on, then”, was the only thing he was able to say.

***

Asuka Langley-Shikinami was feeling out of place.

This was not something unusual; since the memorable penguin incident, followed by her decision to deal with her guilt by accepting – no, forcing – punishment from Shinji, and the subsequent spanking sessions, every single of their encounters brought something new and strange into her life. But this was done in the safety of his room, or at least in the walls of the apartment.

This was different. And she brought it upon herself, driven by an impulse she did not really understand.

She was, obviously, no stranger to grocery shopping; limited as her duties in the Katsuragi household were, she was sometimes tasked with that. She preferred it to the actual housework, despite what she might have told Shinji. _‘Technically, it is true, I hate to do any chores. But this is the least troublesome’_, she admitted to herself.

But this time, the context was different. She was not doing mindless, routine shopping out of the list or just buying Misato some beer; this was shopping with someone who was clearly enjoying it – and despite that, paid more attention to her than to the groceries.

Also, she had to squash a ‘like a couple’ thought at least twice in the last ten minutes; despite that practice, she was not getting better at it. Shinji’s apparent lack of issues with ‘accidental’ hand touching when putting items into the basket did not help. _‘I thought Japanese people **avoided** physical contact, except between close family members and–’_

Third thought squash came and went.

“Anything else?” she snapped to cover her turmoil.

“Hmm I don’t think so”, he pondered. “Let’s go”, he headed to the checkout; she followed, still annoyed by the whole situation. The fact that the elderly cashier gave them a knowing smile did not help things.

***

The apartment door closed behind them with the usual soft sound. Shinji began unloading the groceries, pausing only when he noticed her foul mood.

“Asuka, are you–”

“No, I’m not!” she blurted out. “Would you mind your own damn business?”

Shinji tilted his head. “As… you wish, Asuka”, he finally replied and turned back to unloading groceries, his mood visibly lower. Asuka suddenly felt very stupid.

_‘Great, now I kicked the puppy. Go Great Asuka!’_ she growled internally and clenched her teeth. Her first reflex was to go to her room and not emerge until the dinner was ready, and then return there to sulk in silence; but this was a tactic of the past, proven wrong and useless. She could – of course – apologize to him, but recent forecasts from Hell did not indicate that it froze or anything.

Finally, she decided on the variant that had worked before and ran to her room.

As the door closed behind her, Shinji let out a sigh and turned back to finish the unloading. _‘Couldn’t last, could it? Maybe I can appease her with some cake…’_ he mused as he started the very much routine process of preparing dinner. _‘But that would mean dinner comes late, and that’s not a good idea, especially that Misato is going to be hungry. Hm, maybe I can scrounge something–’_

The door to her room opened and Asuka burst out, wearing her domestic dress and a determined expression. Mere seconds later the well-known leather implement landed on the kitchen counter; Asuka was standing next to it, her palms on the tabletop, her bottom in aiming range.

“You know what to do, Third”, she ordained, her face expressing perfect determination.

He tilted his head. “Asuka?”

“Shut up and spank me. I was rude, right? I snapped without a good reason.”

He took a deep breath. And another. “No”, he finally shook his head.

“What the fuck you mean by ‘no’?” she demanded in an incredulous voice.

Suppressing a wince at her language, he put the knife down and wiped his hands. Turning to her, he started: “First, you’re not in the right state of mind, bursting in like that”, he raised his hand, seeing her open her mouth, her face turning angry. “Please, let me finish”, he requested in a firm voice; it worked. “Second, we would not stop on a few, I believe. I don’t know how your bruises are, but I’m sure it won’t help them. Third, if this puts you at ease, I will not forget this… incident. It will be included in the payout.”

“I hate it when you’re right, you know”, she let out a growl. Without a warning, she lifted the back of her dress, exposing a still-bruised – if well-healing – bottom. Shinji immediately turned red but managed not to look away. “Admire your bruising handiwork, at least. It’s been almost two weeks.”

“I-I-well, glad to see that, but–”

She smiled a crooked smile. “All right, all right”, she agreed, dropping the dress back down and turning to face him. “But let’s not change the subject. Slap me on my face, then. This doesn’t leave bruises if you watch your strength. Good enough?”

He composed himself despite the recent sights in front of him and shook his head.

“No. Not like that. That’s something different”, he refused firmly.

She took another breath. “Okay, another option. You will–”

A finger landed on her lips. She narrowed her eyes at him but did nothing to move his hand.

“Asuka. You’ll get your punishment on Saturday. This incident will be paid out separately. All right?” he asked, removing his finger. “But not now. Now just… tell me what is wrong.”

She smiled a crooked smile again. “Okay. I’ll tell you… on Saturday.”

He chuckled and looked at her with a mix of resignation and amusement. “Fair is fair”, he finally agreed. “Perhaps you can help me with the cooking as an apology, then?”

“Don’t push it, Third”, she retorted, still smiling the same smile.

“Please?” he softened his tone. “If you help me, I’ll have time to make some cake later.”

“Hm”, she pondered for a moment. “Deal. What do I do?”

“The carrots, please”, he pointed. “You know how to handle them?”

“Phew. Of course”, her voice was full of disdain. “You boys aren’t the only ones that know how to handle long and stiff objects.”

The next few minutes were filled with awkward silence. This did not diminish Shinji’s satisfaction from averting another catastrophe. One thing was affecting his peace of mind, though: the awareness that Asuka never went back to her room to put her underwear back on.

Another jump in his heart rate was caused by the realization that the leather strap was lying forgotten on the kitchen counter, a realization made only once tired Misato entered the apartment. A masterful distraction and efficient evacuation made possible only by both teenagers’ concerted effort – preceded by panicked signaling – was the only thing that averted far greater catastrophe.

That was about the maximum of excitement he was willing to take that evening. Unfortunately, reality had other plans for him.

***

_Later that evening_

“Asuka…” Shinji started in a soft voice as the redhead was showing signs of heading to her room for the night.

“Mm?” she walked a few steps to him; he was still doing the dishes. “What is it?” she asked in a tone she tried to keep neutral without much success.

“I was thinking–”

“That’s a new one”, she quipped.

He let out a sigh. “Asuka, please–”

She rolled her eyes. “Sorry, you’re just asking for that. What’s on your mind? I’m kind of sleepy, so please no long tirades.”

“That’s… kind of the subject”, he resumed; her eyes lit up despite her attempts to force her face into the neutral mask. “Will you…” he took a deep breath, put the plate down, dried his hands and turned to face her. “Will you be coming tonight? To my bed, I mean?”

She took a long breath herself. “I shouldn’t”, she forced out, not looking into his eyes.

He blinked. “Why?” he asked, his voice surprised.

“Because that would be twice in a row? What do you mean, why, isn’t it obvious that–” she stopped, her lips a thin line. _‘Well, Asuka. Think of **one** good reason’_, a treacherous voice in her head challenged her. He kept looking at her patiently, waiting for her to finish.

“Well, isn’t it obvious that we shouldn’t?” she tried. “It would be just wrong. There, you have it”, she finished, aggressively crossing her hand in front of her.

“Why?” he simply asked again.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” she retorted, angrily, her hands crossed in front of her.

He smiled at her; she could swear there was a challenge in that smile. “Yes, please.”

“Oh for fuck’s–” she shook her head. For a few seconds, heavy silence hung in the air. “Are you stupid?”

“Perhaps”, he retorted. “You’re the smart one, for sure. Why would it be wrong?”

She fumed at him, her eyes narrowing; he could tell she liked this small compliment – but he was also well aware that her anger was a far stronger force than her satisfaction. He let out a sigh. “Asuka…” he started again. “I’m not going to fight you. **That** would be stupid. I’m… not good at it, and I don’t want it. I… I told you what I want. I just wish we could fall asleep together tonight. Just for the company. I like waking up next to you, too. It just feels… right. Never wrong. I will understand if you won’t and prefer to sleep alone, but–”

Asuka raised her hand, her lips thin and her posture tense. “I’ll… think about it. Okay?”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. This can be your worst nightmare”, she whispered as she averted her eyes.

On the tip of his tongue was a reply: _‘It’s a nightmare without you already’_, but deciding it was too brazen, he simply nodded with a smile. “I don’t think so. Thank you. I’ll be waiting.”

She opened her mouth, closed it, turned in place, and rushed to her room, trying her best to hide the red face. The door closed with far more force than it usually did.

Shinji smiled a sad smile. _‘I should not bring my hopes up, I guess’_, he sighed as he turned his attention to the remaining dishes.

***

“Fuck”, she whispered in her pillow. “Fuck, fuck, fuck”, she hit the mattress with her fist. A great battle was raging inside her.

On one side, there were: her body, eager to be held; part of her mind, fearful of nightmares; another part of her mind, saying that it feels nice and there is nothing wrong with having a company in bed; her loneliness, whispering about the simple pleasure of having someone close by.

On the other, outnumbered but still holding their ground, were: yet another part of her mind, telling her it would be dangerous and could give him ideas; her pride, unwilling to let her appear needy; her fears, telling her this is some game he is playing with a clear intent of taking his vengeance against her.

Somewhere, scattered across the battlefield were notions crashed by the previous assaults: notion of propriety telling her a girl should not share a bed with a boy at this age, beaten by the simple retort that they already did and nothing was wrong with that; her worry about him telling someone about the whole thing, mercilessly slaughtered by the surprising amount of trust she had in him; her fear of Misato catching them, defeated soundly by copious amounts of beer poured into their guardian; her worry about him getting too bold with his touch and advances, murdered by a mix of trust and shameful desire that she might not really object if he _tried_.

About to join this heap of corpses was the fear of this being a game.

_‘He’s not **that** smart. I’m smarter’_, she reasoned. ‘_He admitted it himself._ _And he’s taking as great a risk as I am, maybe even greater. If this ever came out, people would believe **me** to be the victim, not him. He has more to lose. And… he still keeps going. He does because I ask him to do so. No, his father is the schemer, the dangerous man, the deceiver. He… he is honest.’_

The ‘against’ side suddenly found itself one argument short. The worry about Shinji thinking too much and the unwavering pride remained. But the ‘for’ side had a discreet, hidden ally: The Great Asuka’s Wonderful Rationalization Engine.

_‘He asked me. It’s his fault. If I go there, it will be to make him feel better; I owe that much to him, I suppose. And a few well-placed words will make sure he doesn’t think too much. Let’s deflate his balloon, and it will be fine!’ _With that thought, jumped up from her bed and started changing into her night attire; she grinned a mean grin as she chose the shortest nightshirt she could find, one that ended way above her navel. _‘Let’s see how he reacts to **that**.’_

Dressed for the occasion but having mercifully put on some panties, she left her room, made sure Misato was out cold, congratulated herself on her recently developed technique of discreetly fortifying beer with vodka, ignored the rather steep price of the vodka and the trouble she had to go through to get it, and knocked at Shinji’s door.

A second later her anxiety returned in full force, knotting her stomach to the point of nausea. For a short moment, she pondered running back or at least changing into something less revealing – but her pride, aided by a supreme effort of will stopped her from turning away on the spot.

She waited for his voice to sound, ashamed of how much she desired to hear it.

***

Shinji Ikari was sitting on his futon, reading a book. This has become his new routine once listening to music could mean he would not hear Asuka’s knocking.

But after reading the same page thrice without retaining any memory of the content, he put the book down and sighed heavily. _‘I really want her to come, don’t I? Even after all she did to me, all the chaos she causes, all the embarrassments, all the fear she brings…’_

Despite himself, he smiled. _‘And all the heat and life she brings with her…’_

He was never prone to philosophizing, not even to analyzing things too deeply. He **did** have a tendency to overthink, but this was mostly about things **he** did. In other matters, especially those that life threw at him – which tended to happen quite often since he came here – he simply tried to dodge the best he could, without thinking why all this is happening to him. When things became too much, he simply ran away, then returned when he realized the futility of running. It did not gain him friends, but it got him by.

This had changed. A lot.

Asuka burst into his life, turning it upside down almost as much as him being called to Tokyo-3. First, she was a destructive force that hurt him, made him angry, even physically assaulted him. Then, things changed. He still could not entirely understand what drove Asuka to come to him that night and push the small belt into his hand – but since then, her influence became different. No less disruptive, for sure. But now this disruptiveness – while still giving him headaches – was somehow helpful, maybe even caring in its own, twisted way. It was certainly far more welcome than it was before.

Still, no matter how he tried, he could still not understand what was happening in the mind behind that force. _‘I wonder if she truly understands what she is doing, or just rides out an instinct… no, she’s too smart to just trust her instincts. I’m sure she has a plan’_, he concluded. _‘I just wish she would trust me enough to share it so I could work with her instead of… guessing.’ _He let out a sigh. _‘I suppose my guesswork has not been **that** bad… well, until today’_, he concluded with dismay.

He tried to return to his book, but for some unfathomable reason, the page did not become more comprehensible after the fourth read. He put it down and lied down with a sigh. Realizing the sad truth, he reached for the light switch.

_‘I guess I am reading too much into her friendliness… Maybe we’re not **that** close. I do hope she’s serious about Saturday, though’_, he blushed at the perspective. How much he tried to avoid that line of thought, spanking her was pleasant – in more ways than one.

Settling into his futon, he sighed again. Breathing the faint smell of strawberries left on the pillowcase from yesterday, he closed his eyes.

***

The knocking came suddenly; unaware whether he dreamed of it or not, he cautiously called out: “Asuka? Is that you? Come in!”

Reaching for the light switch, he sat back on the futon. The door slid open.

“Hi”, Asuka whispered, carefully closing the door behind her. She was holding one of her elbows with her other hand and her eyes were cast aside. He could not help but notice how skimpy her attire was. _‘Oh. Did I forget to include her sleep clothing to last laundry run? Besides, doesn’t she have at least one more? Hm, I’ll have to check. Tomorrow, though.’_

“Welcome–” he started.

“Listen, Third”, she cut him off, still looking to her side. “I’m here only because you asked me to. Don’t think too much about it.”

He smiled at her. “I am glad you came. Please, come. It’s late and you said you were tired”, he pointed the place next to him on the futon. “I promise you won’t be cold today.”

She just stood there with her arms crossed, her lips forming a thin line. Her eyes finally meet his, expressing defiance. She might have lost her internal battle – to herself, which lessened the pain a bit, but it was still a loss – but she was not above some further resistance. _‘Just one more time, Third. Ask me just one more time. Please.’_

Shinji waited a few seconds, then let out a sigh. “Asuka. I don’t know what is going on behind your beautiful face, I can’t know… but we should go to sleep. So, please come here and lie down. Or I will remember your stubbornness the next time I turn your bottom red. And I don’t know if you’re going to like it **that** much at the rate your… charges are accumulating”, he stated in a matter-of-fact tone, ignoring the blush that crept on his face.

Asuka’s face mirrored the blush. _‘Oh. I like that tone. Pity he uses it so rarely…’_ Without a word, she dropped her hands, took the final step, and lifted the covers; he lied down on his back and carefully pulled her closer. Clinging to his chest, she purred softly.

She froze, realizing what just happened; her blush grew rapidly. _‘He didn’t hear it, did he? **Did he?**’_

An arm wrapped around her, stopping just a few millimeters short the hem of her panties. His nails scratched her skin in a delicate, but definitely a deliberate caress. _‘He did. Fuck.’_

By now, her face was noticeably hot. She could hear his heartbeat; quickened, but steady.

She could also hear him smile.

“Don’t you dare, Third”, she growled. “If you say **anything** about cats, I will pulp you bloody, not matter if you decide to **whip** me for that later.”

“You said it, not me”, he protested, amusement clear in his voice. “I wouldn’t dare”, he added while the caress intensified; his other hand reached over her and joined, sliding under the poor excuse for a nightshirt and scratching between the shoulder blades. She purred again.

_‘I. Will. Murder. Him’_, was rattling in her mind. _‘If he stops’_, another voice added. Faced with such conflict, she just clung to him harder, burying her face in his chest. The worst part of this caress was its perfectly innocent nature, something not out of place between even not-so-close friends; she could not even charge him with crossing any border.

_‘Well, maybe it **is** out-of-place among the Japanese… how intimate is this for you, Shinji? It surely is for me, I think I’m getting wet’_, she realized with dismay.

She let out a moan when he hit a particularly sensitive spot; her face turned beet-red.

“Blau.”

The atmosphere in the room changed in a split-second; his hands stopped immediately. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. Perfect”, she quickly explained, trying desperately to hide her face. “Just… no questions, okay? Sleep?”

He nodded, his expression serious. “Sure”, he stated in a voice not entirely his own.

Fumbling just for a few seconds, they settled in their usual spooning position, Asuka’s back resting against Shinji’s chest. It was easy to notice that he was far more tense than usual.

“Shinji”, she started in a serious voice just before finding and squeezing his hand under the covers. “Nothing’s wrong, okay? Give me time. You did nothing wrong”, she repeated. “Trust me.”

“All right”, he replied in a definitely more relieved voice. A smile crept on his face, replacing the previous frown. “Thank you, Asuka”, he whispered and tightened his embrace.

“Shut up, idiot”, she replied, trying to sound vitriolic. “Don’t think too much of it.”

_‘Why do I care what he thinks? Why did I jump to make him feel better?’_ she started pondering. _‘Well, I came here to make him feel better, because he asked me to, and only because of that’_, she lied to herself. _‘So, to do anything against it would be stupid, right?’_

She let out a subdued snarl, no longer believing her own logic. _‘Like hell. I was purring in his hands, like, like a damn fiddle’,_ she paused. _‘Or a cello…’_

The train of thoughts kept going. _‘Oh fuck it, really. Wasn’t I counting on something exactly like this? I came here because I **wanted** to. Because it feels so damn **good** to be here’_, she admitted. A part of her mind not engaged in the emotional turmoil let her know that tears were flowing down her face. _‘What the fuck is wrong with me?’_ she shivered. _‘Why am I suddenly breaking down?’_

“Asuka?”

She could swear she felt his faster heartbeat on the skin of her back; an impossibility, for sure, but her senses were telling her otherwise.

“Shut up and hold me”, she managed without letting out a sob. “We’ll talk about that. Later.”

“As you wish”, he stated. This time, those words were hopeful, instead of sad. They did nothing to stop the tears, but they certainly made her smile.

***

_Wednesday, D-3; early morning_

The morning came far too soon, as usual. To her surprise, Asuka woke before the alarm; she quickly realized she had two impulses that could have led to that: Shinji’s heartbeat sounding loudly to her ear and her knee rubbing against a very obvious erection. The first one was fine and quite soothing. The other was less fine and the opposite of soothing.

_‘Oh damn it’_, she grumbled. _‘Relax, Shikinami, you’re not a sex-crazed teenager, you’re an elite pilot that knows how to keep her urges in check. You’re not going to do anything stupid just because some handsome boy lying next you had sprung a bad case of morning wood. You might be curious, that’s all. Maybe a peek–’_

She jumped up and shook her head. _‘Fuck no. I have some damn standards. Maybe someday I’ll be **riding** him’_, she blushed at the thought, a bit too wild for her but justified by the morning haze. _‘But it is not today. Get a grip, move your ass, rub one out if you have to, but don’t do anything stupid’_, she directed herself.

Shinji must have noticed some movement, as he was stirring. “Asuka?” he asked in a sleepy voice.

“Shh. Need to go. Don’t worry. See you at breakfast”, she explained, disentangling herself from the sheets. Leaning over him, she kissed him on the cheek. He sleepily reached in response, catching her hand and placed a soft kiss on the fingers. A smile remained on his face as he let her go.

_‘I could get used to that’,_ she realized before shaking the rest of the haze off and proceeding to her room.

“This is going to be complicated”, she thought to herself as she stared at her reflection in the mirror a few minutes later. “But I knew that already. Oh well, one step at a time”, she shrugged as she put the gag in her mouth and fastened it behind her head before sliding her hand between her legs for much-needed relief. The taste of the leather and the feeling of her mouth being filled added to her already-present arousal.

_‘Hell, there are worse ways to start a day than with him’_, she smiled to herself as she picked up the tempo and bit into the leather ball._ ‘Many, many worse ways.’_

***

_Wednesday, D-3, late evening_

“Asuka…” Shinji inquired.

“Yes”, Asuka nodded. “Give me… twenty minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting”, he nodded and smiled.

Asuka frowned as the turned and retreated to her room; she could swear it was a knowing smile.

_‘Does he realize that I think of **him** most of the time when I… not that this was my intent **today**’_, she mused as she was packing her bag for tomorrow’s classes. _‘I suppose I should come clean soon… because if he catches me, there would be hell to pay.’_

She blushed, trying her best to avoid picturing the scene in her mind’s eye. _‘At least I hope there would be… that he would not be a wimp about it’_, she grinned before realizing what exactly she wished for and how she would likely feel if it really happened._ ‘I’m a freak’_, she finally admitted, shaking her head after the scene took the full shape in her head. _‘But I guess I can live with him’_, she smiled.

Something was wrong with that sentence.

_‘With it. I mean with it’_, she corrected herself unconvincingly. _‘With being a freak.’_

Not entirely convinced that this was just an accidental slip, she busied herself with her evening routine to avoid thinking too much.

***

_Thursday, D-2, late evening_

“Shinji?” Asuka raised her eyebrow.

“Yes. Come in twenty minutes?”

_‘Last time I didn’t even need that many’_, she thought automatically, blushed, and glared at him. His innocent face told her that she was the only one who read this as a bad joke. Or that he had a very good poker face. _‘Oh, never mind. I don’t think I need a run tonight’_, she realized. “Ten, I just need to brush my hair. Just wait for me.”

He tilted his head. “I always wait for you… But…”

“Yes? Any objections?” she inquired, trying her best to ignore the warmth his words evoked.

“Can I do this for you?” he asked out of the blue.

She shook her head, disbelief clear on her face. “What? Brush my hair?” _‘Of course he means my hair, he would not think about the… other thing.’_

“Y-yes?”

“Why would you want to do **that**?” she asked, her voice both incredulous and confused.

“I… like them.”

She shook her head. “That’s all? I mean, do boys ever do it?”

“I’m not very… boyish, if you want to play the stereotypes”, he protested, his eyebrow raised. _‘And you’re not very girlish… except when you are’_, he managed not to add.

“Fair point”, she conceded. “But did you ever do it?”

“No, but… would you take the time to teach me? When there’s time, of course?”

She took a deep breath. _‘Next thing he’s going to ask is “can I wash them”, or even better: “can I wash **you**”, right?’_ she extrapolated. _‘And let me guess, my brain will purposefully fail to give me any counterarguments?’_

She let out the breath she was holding. “Listen. Maybe. We’ll talk about it”, she declared.

He nodded. “Sure. Just…” he paused before deciding to push the issue. “This list of subjects to ‘talk about’ is getting a bit long”, he smiled anxiously.

Asuka’s ears flared up. “Yeah. I know”, she admitted sheepishly, her eyes dropping. “But we **will**. Trust me.”

“Always”, he smiled. “I’ll be waiting”, he glanced over the kitchen, noted with satisfaction that it was in good condition, and retreated to his room, leaving a slightly flushed Asuka behind. She let out a sigh and rushed to her room. _‘Fuck it. I’ll think about it later.’_

***

_Later that night_

Asuka smiled as Shinji’s fingers had stopped just short of their supposed target.

“You can touch them if you want to”, she whispered, blushing softly.

“Are you sure?” he inquired, clearly eager, but surprisingly careful.

“Of course. How many times I have to repeat myself before you believe me that I’m not going to hit you?” she asked with a tinge of annoyance; the unusual warmth of her voice covered this nearly completely.

“It still feels… surreal”, he admitted, moving his hand a few millimeters up before pausing again.

“Go ahead”, she giggled. “They don’t bite.”

“Thank you”, he replied in a similarly soft whisper and reached to carefully wrap the strand of the red hair around his fingers. Bringing it to his lips, he smiled at the smell of strawberries.

***

_Friday, D-1; the school’s classroom_

“Ready, Third?” Asuka asked in low-key as she took her bento box from his hand.

“Er. For what?” he blinked at her, clearly confused.

She rolled her eyes. “For tomorrow!” she hissed. “We have physicals, and then…” she trailed off.

“Oh. Right. I forgot. I do now”, he nodded.

She narrowed her eyes and her voice became a tad louder, enough for people around to hear her annoyance. “I just hope you didn’t forget your… skills. And your duties. Or I’m going to be **really** annoyed. Thanks for the bento”, she grumbled out as she turned to walk away.

“You could really be nicer to him, Shikinami-san”, Hikari Horaki commented as Asuka joined her with her bento. Asuka immediately recognized the start of something she nicknamed ‘The Horaki Advice Train’ – a well-intentioned, but usually horribly misplaced good advice from the Class Representative, a.k.a. Worst Stick In The Mud That Was This Class. “He’s a good boy, he brings you food, and you don’t treat him well at all. You should be happy he’s so nice to you.”

_‘Oh, Class Rep, if only you knew **how** nice he is to me_’, Asuka managed to suppress a grin. “He knows his place, sure. And I am nice to him! I’m just not **sweet** to him. There’s a difference, you know?”

“Maybe you should start”, the Horaki Advice Train was gaining speed. “He’s–”

“A good boy. I know. Listen, Class Rep, I have school and I have my pilot training. Both are time-consuming and deserve my utmost attention. I really don’t have time for boys”, Asuka entered her defense mode. Shinji, who was half-listening to the conversation, knew all too well that beyond the defense mode was only one thing: the best-defense mode – i.e. an all-out-assault.

“Well, I can understand that, sure”, the Advice Train seemed to slow down. “But you should not reject such opportunity” – but it was just a feint, as it tried to smash at full speed through Asuka’s defenses – “he is–”

Asuka stood up abruptly. “You know? You’re right. Thank you”, she stated in only mildly – considering the situation – acerbic tone. Collecting her bento box, she shot Hikari a last, only a bit sarcastic, smile as she walked over to Shinji’s desk. “Hey. Got a spot?” she eyed him.

“S-sure?” he startled, only to recover remarkably quickly. “Please, take a seat.”

“Thank you”, she said loudly, only to lower her voice and acquire a grumbling tone. “She’s more annoying than drunk Misato with her advice. You’re the least painful company in the classroom right now.”

Shinji raised an eyebrow. “Wait until tomorrow, you may change your mind.”

Asuka tilted her head and blushed softly. “Did. You. Just–”

Shinji just smiled innocently. “Hm? Did what? Please, eat – the break is not that long”, he pointed to the box, simultaneously ignoring Hikari Horaki giving him thumbs up behind Asuka’s back.

_‘If only she knew, she’d have us whipped’_ Shinji realized with a mix of dread and amusement. ‘_In public, no less. Or not, if she thought Asuka might enjoy that. How do you punish a masochist, anyway?’_ he pondered a pseudo-philosophical question that suddenly popped in his mind. ‘_Because she’d fit the definition, that’s for sure. Wait, does this make me the sadist?’_ he realized, to his horror._ ‘Am I even remotely qualified for this… position?’_

“Hey, idiot. Unfreeze your brain and take your own advice. Don’t lose your strength, or I’ll be pissed.”

He shook his reverie off in a short bout of panic; panic that was quickly squashed by the sight of Asuka’s friendly smirk.

_‘People are strange. Girls are strange. Asuka is strange. But I think I can like her. Strange is not scary anymore’_, he thought as he smiled back and followed her advice.

***

_Later that evening_

“Asuka…” he started.

“If you’re thinking what I’m thinking”, she quickly replied with a smile, “then today the answer is ‘no’. Tomorrow we make up for that, okay?”

He nodded and smiled back, even as surprise did not leave his face. “O-okay. Should I bake a cake to celebrate the occasion?”

“And rouse Misato’s suspicion?” Asuka raised her eyebrow. “I am frankly surprised she doesn’t suspect anything yet. Those were…” she paused. “Four nights in a row.”

“Four… nice nights”, he smiled dreamily. “Pleasant nights. Are you sure you don’t want tonight to be the fifth?” he asked in a voice she could easily describe as ‘seductive’, if such thing was possible from him.

“Pervert”, she punched him in the arm, but her smile mirrored his. “But yes, nice. And yes, I am. I need too… verify a hypothesis. Unless you can’t last a single night without me?”

Shinji raised his eyebrow. “That’s a trick question, correct? I say ‘yes’, you’ll laugh at me for being needy, addicted, or something similar. I say ‘no’… you’ll be offended or use it to poke fun at me.”

She chuckled. “You’re learning, Third.”

He shrugged with a smile. “It’s hard not to learn with you.”

“Thank you”, she smiled with visible pride, then let out a sigh. “Goodnight, then?”

“Goodnight… but…” he seemed unsure what to say, but his body language was clear enough for her.

“Oh, without a doubt”, she grinned and pulled him into a strong hug.

Once again, none of them wished or even dared to break it.

“Sleep?” he finally whispered.

“Sleep”, she replied reluctantly, released her grip, and quickly hid in her room.

Shinji was left alone. He let out a sigh, perfectly aware what this hug and the thought of tomorrow did to him; he went straight to the bathroom. Carefully closing the door behind him, he pulled his boxers down and wrapped his hand around his penis. Starting the strokes, he closed his eyes and recalled Asuka’s smell, the softness of her skin, the firmness of her embrace; the strokes became faster and faster.

With all that in his mind’s eye, the relief came within a minute, along with a shameful realization. _‘I really have to tell her about it; this just doesn’t feel right. On the other hand… she said I can look, right?’_ he pondered as he cleaned up meticulously. _‘I suppose it also means I can remember, and if I can remember, I can recall…_’ he tried to work a justification out. Unfortunately, compared to The Great Asuka’s Wonderful Rationalization Engine, his ability to rationalize was a small stepper motor at best. Nameless, to boot.

_‘I have to ask. Soon. Tomorrow… we talk. Afterward, I guess.’_

With that thought, he made sure all evidence of his activity was gone, washed his hands thoroughly, and returned to his room. His first night alone after four nights in a row with Asuka – while definitely comfortable due to not sharing a narrow futon – made him feel lonely and more than a little bit cold.

The next morning was cold and gray – but sweetened with anticipation.


	7. Chapter 7

_Saturday, D-0_

“Well, Asuka, I’m glad to give you a clean bill of health”, doctor Akagi summarized. “I could only wish the other pilots were in such good shape.”

Asuka grinned at her. “Thank you, doctor. I thought it would be an obvious trait for a good pilot?”

“Well, yes”, the doctor nodded with amusement. “And you want to be the best, of course. Now, tell me one more thing – how old is your implant?”

“About six months”, Asuka replied after a moment of thinking. “They told me it should be good for a full year.”

“And why do you have it at your age?” the doctor asked while taking a note in her file.

Asuka shrugged. “I had heavy periods when I started, and irregularly so. They gave me options to take pills and regulate or have an implant and just forget about it. So I chose the implant”, she explained, conveniently omitting the obviously unimportant additional motivations. Suddenly, her voice turned flippant. “Can’t imagine an Angel accepting ‘I’m on my period, can’t fight’ excuse, right?”

“Evangelion biology would not be affected by that”, the doctor remarked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, but my comfort is”, Asuka retorted, her voice more serious. “And it was seriously impacting my training, especially the physical part, and I couldn’t have that, could I? And they told me that if I ever wanted kids, I could have it yanked out, wait a few months, and go for it.”

For a short moment, the face of doctor Akagi had a strange expression, bordering on sadness. Seconds later, she clenched her jaw and shook her head.

“Of course”, she replied. “That’s all, unless you have questions?”

“None, doctor. Thank you”, Asuka replied. “Should I call the daddy’s boy in?”

Ritsuko chuckled before shooting the redhead a half-hearted disapproving glare. “Yes, you may call Shinji in.”

Asuka left in a skipping step. “Hey, daddy’s boy, your turn!”

Ritsuko just rolled her eyes and shook her head. _‘Good that those two are not too close. Chances of both of them surviving the next year are… low. Not that ours look good, either.’_

Banishing the thoughts, she turned to her next patient. “Hello again, Shinji-kun. Please, take a seat.”

***

_Later that evening_

The evening at Misato’s place was a time to unwind for most denizens. This time, one of them was certainly indulging in that opportunity, coming down from significant overtime.

“Hey, Misato, want another one?” Asuka leaned out from behind the fridge door and waved a can at the Colonel.

“I was thinking I had enough…” she trailed off, giving Asuka a momentary twitch. “But why not, the night is young!” she conceded and grabbed the dutifully handed can.

_‘I should take steps to teach her to drink in steins or at least glasses. Would be easier to turn them into the U-boots; the amount of manipulation required to pour the vodka into cans discreetly is idiotic’_, Asuka kept her thoughts running while watching Shinji go about his business in the kitchen.

He was almost done when Misato finally rose to her feet, her posture far wobblier than usual. Asuka helpfully lent her a hand. “You’re all right?”

“Yeah, sure”, Misato smiled. “Just… off to bed. Thanks for the dinner, Shin-chan!”

“No problem, Misato, sleep well!”

***

About twenty minutes later Shinji was about to enter the bathroom when he heard a low “Where do you think you’re going?”

He turned and found himself facing a clearly annoyed Asuka.

“T-to do laundry?” he stated, matter-of-factly.

“Wrong, Third”, she barked. “That can wait, unless Misato’s totally out of clothes and you swore on your life you’d help her with that. If not, your hands can be put to better use today”, she grinned.

“What use?” he blinked in confusion.

Asuka’s palm landed hard on her face. “Are you being an ass, suddenly amnesiac, or just stupid?” she asked in a dejected voice.

He kept staring at her until the corner of his mouth twitched and he was unable to contain a smile anymore.

“Sorry, Asuka. Neither.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You **always** chose the worst moments to improve”, she hissed out, almost angry. “Don’t stop, though”, she corrected herself in a softer voice. “But I’m serious, I didn’t knock our guardian out cold for you to fool with **laundry**. You, me, the paddle, the gag, your room, in five minutes. Questions?”

He shook his head, his blush obvious. “No, ma’am!” he replied in a hushed voice.

***

Three minutes later, Asuka entered the well-lit room; Shinji was already waiting at the box. Asuka’s heart sped up. _‘I really like that he waits for me. It feels… good. Like he actually **cared**. Fuck, am I **that** hungry for his affection? That’s… hopeless.’_

She quickly shook the thought off, refusing to allow it to spoil her mood. Putting the bag down, she quickly handed him the paddle and retrieved the gag. Then, she paused and turned to face him.

“Okay, Third. Here’s the deal”, she started, her voice serious and more than a little shaking with anticipation. “I’ve been lacking this for almost two weeks, and I won’t settle for some small-time ass-warming. So, if you don’t want **me** to give **you** hell, give me thirty slow, then twenty of your strongest. Got it?”

“As you wish”, she smiled, nodding. “One thing before that, Asuka. You sent me things to read”, he started.

She nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, and?” her voice was growing impatient.

“They all suggest a… well, warm-up, before the main course, so to say”, he elaborated.

Asuka raised one eyebrow. “Oh, you want to lay your hands on my bottom?” she asked, half-mocking, half-amused.

“I-I-I don’t–” he lost his composure.

She chuckled. “A joke, Third. Don’t get tied up in knots”, she cut in. “No, warm-ups are for the weak. Make those forty my warm-up, okay?”

“Forty?” he blinked. “You said thirty before.”

“Forty”, she reiterated, unwilling to backtrack from her mistake; helpfully, her mind whispered her a way out. “Did you forget you threatened me with adding… some more for my behavior? Or is ‘five per issue’ too little for you?”

“Oh. Right”, he realized. “I thought… yes, you’re right”, he nodded.

“Okay then. Forty normal, plus twenty of your hardest. Tap-out applies… but with a small change. If I tap out, you just pause and resume when I, well, tell you. Show you”, she gestured vaguely. “Only if I then take the gag out and say ‘Blau’, you stop totally. Clear?”

He nodded. “Sure?” he replied, despite his lingering doubts. _‘Does she ever back out? By that rate, she’ll have me **whip** her by next month’,_ he realized with certain dread – but not without a worrying hint of excitement. _‘And… why am I starting to enjoy this?’_

“Hey, Shinji. There’s a girl here, with needs. Get to it”, Asuka’s grumble brought him to order.

“Yes, sure”, he scrambled, then raised his eyebrows. “Please assume the position, Asuka”, he commanded. “And b-bare your bottom”, he managed, almost flawlessly. To their both surprises, she obeyed immediately, simultaneously putting her gag in place.

Shinji took a deep breath and placed the strap against her bottom, as he did several times before. She shivered; if not for the gag, a moan would certainly escape her lips. _‘Fuck, this is becoming a habit. It’s like a ritual. He’s telling me “you’re about to get it”, and is stretching this moment’_, she realized as her breathing sped up. Rubbing her thighs together, she realized something else. _‘Fuck. If I could use some tender attention on my front right now, how will I feel afterward?’_

“Ready?” he asked in his all-serious voice; his tone sent another shiver through her body. She stuck her bottom further out and rubbed against the leather pressed to her skin. _‘Wonderful, likely. Horny as fuck, without a doubt. Desperate, for sure. Well, freak, you got what you wanted. You got **exactly** what you wanted. Let the boy do his magic and then… come what may.’_

She nodded. A second later the strap fell for the first time, and soon, nothing else mattered.

***

The tenderness of her skin was making every blow more painful – but when the anticipated blow did not fall, Asuka’s reaction was annoyance instead of relief. Before she could voice that emotion in any way, she heard Shinji speak.

“That’s twenty, Asuka”, he said that specific voice. “You…” he hesitated. “You may rub your bottom before I resume.”

She took a deep breath – as much as she was able with the gag firmly in place – and reached behind her. Red, well-spanked skin welcomed her touch; it brought little relief, but it certainly brought sensations. _‘You would **love** if those were **his** hands, wouldn’t you?’_ a treacherous voice in her head spoke up. A blush crept up her face. This was one of those things she was considering asking him to do in those serene moments that followed the spankings; the _aftercare_, she recalled the proper term. The only thing that was stopping her – aside from having the problem with the very fact of asking him anything – was the strong sexual connotation of such request; having him embrace her was one thing, having him touch her bottom was another. In a similar vein, rubbing against him was different – **she** had control then.

_‘On the other hand, he would not cross any border… would he?’_

Two separate thoughts mixed in her head, resuming the conflict that was anything but new: one telling her he would never go too far – and another wishing that he tried; after all, this was what they had the safeword for.

She shook her head and gave her tender skin a final rub before resuming her position and giving him a nod. He smiled back and got back into his position.

The cold strap touched her hot bottom again, sending another shiver up her spine and making her head spin. The following swing made her bite in the gag in anticipation.

The twenty-first hit echoed through her body, pain washing over her, leaving only one thought.

_‘More. Please.’_

***

The last muffled scream died out. Asuka’s head was filled with one thing: _‘fuckfuckfuck’_

“…and that’s forty of your… warm-up, Asuka. Are you ready for the proper part?”

A few taps were the only response; _‘fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck’_ kept going in her mind_. _She slowly raised her shaking hand _‘fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckholyfuck’._

“A moment, sure”, he said, watching Asuka carefully as she took long, deep breaths – as best as she could in her current state and with a gag in her mouth.

Soon enough she calmed down enough to think. _‘Can I take it? Of course I can. Do I want it? Of course I do. Am I sane? Of course not.’_

She rubbed her thighs together; the gag hid her moan. _‘…oh. And now this. I think… I think I need a break. One good thing… I don’t cry so much during the spanking anymore, it was making it hard to breathe sometimes…’_

She slowly reached to the back of her head and removed the gag. Swallowing and wiping her mouth, she took another deep breath. “Okay, Shinji”, she started in a husky voice. “Time-out. This is not a ‘stop’, to be clear” she swallowed again. “I… I need a moment. And then we finish. Can… can I leave?”

Shinji tilted his head in confusion. “Yes? Of course?”

She slowly raised from the position, her knees a bit wobbly; rubbing her bottom send further sparks up her spine. Her lips turned a thin like and she almost ran towards the door. Shinji just followed her with his eyes, strap still in his hand and confusion in his head.

_‘Okay, where did I go wrong? And why did she ask me for permission?’_

***

Less than ten minutes later, as Shinji was sitting on his bed, absentmindedly playing with the strap, the door slid aside. A far more composed Asuka entered, closing them carefully. “Sorry for the delay, Shinji. I–”

“You needed to take care of something”, he interjected and rose to his feet. “I was doing my reading, I’m not asking. Ready to finish? Or was that enough?”

_‘Thanks. I’m not sure **how** would I explain that without making an idiot of myself’_, she sighed internally._ ‘“Hey, you know, the anticipation and you beating me turned me on so much that I rubbed my clit hard enough that it’s sore now, my wrist is likely sprained, and I would have howled if I wasn’t biting down on my towel”? Sure, go ahead, Asuka, say it. I dare you’, s_he shook her head. “Not enough. I’m no quitter, you know better than that. And I have to earn that place in your bed, right?” she smirked.

“Asuka, I–”

She stepped closer and put her finger on his lips. “A joke. I’m ready”, she said and assumed her position. He stood there for a moment, prompting Asuka to panic for a second. _‘Fuck, did I actually wash my hands?’_

A quick recap reassured her that she did. _‘The last thing I would need is to give him too much to think about… but I wonder how he’d react’_, she giggled internally while putting the gag back in and resting her hands on the box.

The cold surface of the strap against her increasingly hot bottom caused the anticipated reaction of shivers running up her spine again; this time, the sound of pleasure she made was clearly audible even through the gag. _‘Let me guess… I may need another one just after that? I wonder what my wrist will say to this. Because buying a proper sex toy would be an issue even to my brilliant planning.’_

The blow that came a few seconds later across an already tender skin purged her mind of any thought and reignited the recently quenched fires. All that was left was pain, determination, and pleasure – as her suspicions were quickly confirmed.

***

Asuka Langley-Shikinami was on her knees.

Thorough the entire second spanking run, her body was telling her to stop him. Every blow was met with request of her brain, countered by another ‘no’ spoken in her mind; each wave of pain was an assault on her determination that was met by another gesture of will; each strike was a threat to her stability, countered by another stern ‘you will hold’ directed towards her weakening knees.

She had endured, just as she willed.

But when Shinji spoke “That’s twenty, Asuka. You may remove the gag and step away from the box”, she did not follow his order. She simply dropped down on her knees, her head resting against the box – and the flowing tears became an honest cry. All the tension accumulated in the last two weeks was drained; she had no strength to do anything but to kneel there and cry it out.

And it felt surprisingly **right**. It was easy to ignore the gag, even if it made it hard to breathe and caused her to drool uncontrollably. She just let go.

Shinji, seeing her reaction, put the strap down and carefully embraced her from behind. She immediately tensed, only to quickly relax and let the breath out. He held her firm at her waist; tilting her head back, she rested it on his shoulder.

Shinji could swear she was melting into his arms.

They remained like this for a long time.

***

Asuka had difficulty breathing. “Finji…” she started and looked around in confusion. Something was wrong. “Of. Damit.” She quickly removed the gag. _‘Damn, this thing makes me drool like a newborn. Good that he isn’t looking–aw fuck.’_

Shinji was looking directly at her; during her ministrations, she turned enough for him to get a good view of her face. She quickly moved to cover it, only for Shinji to catch her hand.

“Let me”, he produced a tissue from seemingly nowhere and carefully wiped her mouth. A small part of her brain screamed at her to hit him, to turn him into a bloody pulp for the insolence and for seeing her so broken. Another part, the one currently in control, told her to smile at him appreciatively.

He handed her the whole tissue box; it took her a while to restore a semblance of dignity to her face. _‘I wonder how I would look if I wore make-up. Like some horrifying theatre mask, I suppose. May be worth trying sometime. If he doesn’t run away from **this**_…_’_

“Thanks”, she managed after a moment, her voice hoarse. “Just don’t get too used to it, I may not be that receptive on other occasions”, she warned, her smile returning and gaining its usual cheekiness.

“To spanking, to hugs, or to being taken care of?” he asked in a calm voice and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t worry. This is… different. **Here** is different. We… are different now.”

_‘Oh yes. For once, I’m not wearing any of those fucking masks. You now see me as naked as it gets. I wouldn’t be more exposed if I stripped down here and now. I wouldn’t be more exposed even if I peeled my very **skin** off’_, she realized with a mix of embarrassment and amusement. _‘And speaking of skin, my ass feels like it actually was about to peel off. I think I just found out my limit’_, she realized.

She giggled as another thought came in: ‘_I wonder how long it will take me to break past that limit…’_

“Asuka? Did I say something wrong?” he looked at her carefully. Her being giddy after the spanking was normal; but there was something odd in her eyes right now, something he never saw before, something that made her look a bit scary.

“Yes”, she shook her head. “I mean no, it’s fine. Just…” she trailed off, wondering how much she was willing to say. Finally, she decided on a simple “Thank you” as she squeezed his hand. “Really, I’m fine”, she added, seeing his worried look. “You… I…” she took a deep breath and smiled. “I’m… fine”, she repeated with surprise in her voice.

She stood up slowly, pulling him up. Her knees were still wobbly, but good enough to stand on. “I’ll be going to prepare for bed”, she declared.

“Will you be staying the night?” he asked, hope clear in both his voice and his eyes.

_‘Wait, we’re still **asking** about that? I guess we do…’_ she realized how obvious staying seemed to her. “Yes, if you will have me”, she replied in a calm voice, her eyes returning to normal.

“Anytime you want”, he smiled in a clearly happy smile. “Do you need assistance?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You just provided enough of it”, she kept smiling. _‘Smiling like an idiot. What are you making me do? Are you even aware of the power you’re holding? How fucked will I be when you realize that power? Fodder for thought… if you ever do, Third.’_

“I’ll manage”, she added before he could reply. “See you in a moment.” She took a step towards the door, then turned back and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be quick. Take the bathroom first, I need my room first”, she directed before leaving.

***

Shinji was left alone in his room. He rubbed his cheek in surprise and tracked her with his eyes as she departed; his face took an expression of a mild shock at the sight of her bottom: dark, bloodshot bruises were forming, surrounded by deep-red skin set against her usual pale complexion. As far as he could tell, while the skin was not cut at any point, it looked far more damaged than ever before.

_‘Is this really safe?’_ a doubt crossed his mind. _‘Well… she read up on that, right? She knows what she is doing… I hope.’_

He took a deep breath. His worries about Asuka’s well-being gave him a momentary reprieve from his own issues, but the large wet spot in front of his boxers was not going away. Nor was his – as he had to finally admit – arousal. He kept telling himself this was from the sight of her perfect and feminine body – but there was mounting evidence that the act of administering the spanking played a role there as well. This was not the greatest source of his worry, though; when he gave her directions –he still did not want to call them ‘orders’ – something stirred in him as well. It felt **good** to be obeyed.

_‘What does this make me?’_ he pondered and refused the obvious analogy to his own father’s behavior. _‘Am I changing, or was it always in me? What am I?’_

The empty room, obviously, provided no answers. His only comfort in this line of thought was that Asuka would never let him do more than she was comfortable with – and the absolute certainty that he would stop everything the moment he heard the word – as he already did once.

His head was swimming from the chaos of emotions and feelings. Feelings he refused to name, lest one of them would be too much for him to take. Finally, he decided there was no time to waste; making Asuka wait would be rude. With that thought, he left for the bathroom.

***

Asuka, despite her reassurances, had some trouble walking; not enough to prevent her from reaching her room, though – and dropping on her bed, face first. _‘I get all tense, every time he’s about to strike… I know this is part of it all, but… it takes a toll on me. Maybe we should try another position?’_

She started visualizing her options. _‘Anything that needs me to lie down is useless unless I invite him here. The same goes for legs up, the infamous ‘diaper position’… not to mention that’d be exposing myself badly, can I take it?’_ she pondered for a moment, then shook her head as her face turned redder and a familiar tingling reminded her why she came here. _‘Later. I’ll consider this later.’_

She rolled over to her back, gasping as the thoroughly tender skin touched the unbelievably rough sheets. “Fu–aaah” she managed to force down. Another wave of ‘right here, right now’ demands came from below. She looked around and grabbed her hair towel. Fashioning a makeshift gag out of it was easy, even if it stretched her mouth a bit beyond her comfort; still, it did not feel bad. _‘Freak, freak, freak! What else makes you horny?’_ a disdainful voice danced in her head, evoking another image: the image of **Shinji** doing something similar to her. Forcing her mouth open by applying pressure in certain points so she has no choice but to open up; putting a gag inside and fastening it in a quick, decisive move; making her stand up not by words, but by pulling her hair – not necessarily with force, but with a clear intent and will…

She did not even notice when her fingers started to perform their dance: nothing complex, nothing sublime, just a strong touch on her already sore clit, a rub of the seriously wet folds. Simple intense moves for simple intense needs.

And they certainly fulfilled their purpose.

***

When the bathroom door closed behind Shinji, there was no doubt about his priorities: he quickly removed his clothes and started the slow stroking movements of his semi-hard penis. This time though, contrary to several previous sessions, his thoughts were not about the images of Asuka’s body – they were about her fragrance: a mix of strawberries and some other, musky scent. A scent that appeared increasingly often during their sessions, something he could not really name, but that made him want to touch her, kiss her, slide inside–

An intense, back-bending orgasm overtook his body. _‘I… I really should’ve aimed somewhere… easier to wipe’_, he realized with embarrassment the moment his climax subsided – and he was faced with the reality of a bathroom needing an urgent clean-up. _‘Well, at least nothing went on the towels. Small blessings’_ he sighed. ‘_And I **really** should talk to her about it.’_

He let out a sigh. _‘Yeah, fat chance. “Hey, Asuka, I’m…” – like hell I’m going to use any proper term here, I’m likely to end up with some stupid euphemism like “polishing my rod” – “to the thought of how wonderfully you smell and how hot your body is. And to your obedience, so obvious when I order you to take the position. And to how perfect you look just after we’re done: so beautiful and vulnerable.” I’d be on the floor before I could blink. And being grounded into the floor for good measure.’_

He suddenly realized his face was red again. _‘And then she’d tell me to spank her again for hitting me… and I would. Gods, this is insane.’_

He let out a deep sigh and started to clean the mess up. _‘But she is happy. It’s worth every insanity’_, he concluded with a smile.

Finishing his nightly routine as quickly as possible, he was ready in less than fifteen minutes. _‘Okay, time to get back to her. I hope she will still smell the same way – oh damn it.’_

A quick realization made him sigh with resignation. _‘Oh well, someday I will learn from my mistakes. At least I will not poke and prod her that much tonight_’, he deceived himself as he pulled down his boxers for round two.

***

Asuka was laying on her bed, panting.

To say the following orgasm was strong would be a huge understatement; the thick towel contained enough of her loud moans for her not to worry about being heard, but walking was not an option for a few more minutes. She removed the makeshift gag and stretched her jaw; shanking off and massaging the hurting wrist, she rolled back on her stomach. Thoughts were slowly returning to her head, with a bit of introspection stealing in.

Until recently – she could very well pinpoint that moment, with a few days accuracy – masturbation was just another natural thing to her since she discovered it a few years ago; it was a good stress relief, a way to get her mind off things, sometimes a treat – but it was never a truly intense experience.

This has changed.

Whenever her bottom was freshly beaten, the sensations grew stronger. Whenever she was thinking of him doing things to her, the experiences were more intense. Whenever the emotions from her sessions with him were recalled, the orgasms lasted longer and left her far more relaxed. But when it all came together – like now – the synergy made the result mind-blowing.

She shook her head. This was not the right moment to think of it. She did not have time: he was waiting for her in his room. He was waiting to spend the night with her, to hold her in his arms. He was waiting for the inevitable rubbing against her, for the jokes, for the closeness, for the intimacy, for the odd and confusing moments…

She smiled at that thought as she stood up successfully, if a bit wobbly. Another thought came to her, eliciting a grin. _‘Let’s spice it up a bit, shall we?’_

With an idea in her mind, she headed out to the – judging but the sound of steps – now empty bathroom.

***

The two teenagers were settled comfortably on the futon, facing each other, their hands resting at each other’s waists, safely isolated from the flesh by rather flimsy but present clothing, legs intertwined at calf level – a “close but safe to talk” distance, as Shinji called it to Asuka’s amusement. _‘Well, it is a position where most of his blood is actually in his **brain**, isn’t it?’_ she chuckled internally. _‘Teasing him is fun… but there’s time and place for everything, and now, I’m going to enjoy this moment.’_

After a long while, Shinji broke the comfortable silence: “Asuka, don’t you think we’re going a bit… too far?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“You…” he hesitated, unwilling to say anything that would wound her pride. She was waiting, her body tensing up. “Well, I was under the impression that your skin would break any moment. And you’re going to have horrible bruises.”

She shrugged, relaxing. “I’ve been inside my Eva when it broke its hand. And I bled in training a dozen of times. That’s no concern.”

“That’s different. Here, we have control”, he objected. “And you’re actually getting hurt.”

She lifted herself on her elbow.

“Listen, Third”, she started, her voice firm. “I am not going to beg you or anything if you want to stop. And I get it that you might be worried. But it’s my body, and I know better how it works. Trust me, or…” she hesitated. _‘Or I’ll go somewhere else for my fix?’_ she realized how pointless any threat would be. _‘No. I don’t **need** to threaten him.’ _Finally, she decided: “Trust me. Or it loses its point, the whole sense. I trust you every time, right?”

“I will”, he smiled in response. _‘Just as I thought, she knows what she’s doing.’ _“One more thing, though…”

_‘Oh? Will you bring up the “bathroom break” and ask lewd questions, or brag about making me collapse?’_ she grinned. “Yes?”

“Do you have a spare gag?” he asked with a serious look on his face.

Asuka shook her head, clearly in confusion. “Why, do you think **you** will need one?”

It was his turn to be confused. “No? But I had a chance to look at it today when you left and… it’s pretty chewed up. It won’t last long.”

“Oh. That. Right. You might be right. I’ll make a trip to the shop”, she shrugged.

“And there’s another reason I was wondering if we’re not overdoing it”, he admitted. “You… left deep marks in the cardboard.”

“What.”

“There are six holes in it, exactly where your fingers were”, he reiterated with some amusement in his voice. “Not that I mind, but… it’s saying something.”

“Well… the thing it is saying the loudest is ‘you’re getting better at it’”, she grinned at him.

Shinji blushed. “I-I-don’t–”

Asuka rolled her eyes. “It’s true what girls said: ‘want to fluster him, pay him a compliment, he won’t know how to take it’, right? I’m honest here, Third. You’re good at it. Accept it, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

“I would never wish to, Asuka”, he suddenly stated with utter sincerity in his voice.

Asuka stared at him. _‘And I thought “butterflies in your belly” was just an expression… Or is it my stomach clenching? Third, what are you aiming at? Is this even conscious on your part? Or you’re just on instincts?’_

She took a deep breath. “Good”, she forced out. “And now…” she moved closer to him, intertwining their legs; he followed suit. He realized far too late that this time, there was one barrier fewer.

“A-a-asuka…”

“Yes?” she asked in a perfectly innocent voice, countered by an obviously not-innocent smile.

“A-aren’t you missing something?” he managed to ask.

The redhead grinned. “I have everything I need on me, Shinji”, she replied in a sweet voice. “Is that a problem?”

“Well, I–” he tried. “Do… do you want me to… follow suit?”

Her grin turned to serious expression again. “Only when you’re comfortable with it, I won’t force you”, she replied quickly. _‘And I might even **stop** you if you try. This time, your timidity might be a good thing’_ she admitted to herself. “But unless it’s a deal-breaker, I’m staying like this today. Can you handle it?” she paused, realizing the potential double meaning. “Just my nudity, I mean? Just the fact?”

He nodded slowly. “I… think so.”

Her impish smile returned as she winked at him. “Thank you.”

“On one… condition, though”, he requested.

“Mm?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Next time you decide to… move a step further like this, would you tell me first? I… I don’t want to do something stupid in reaction”, he admitted.

She pondered that for a moment. “Okay. I guess”, she agreed, only slightly sulky. “Will be less fun that way, though. But I guess you deserve that. Deal.”

“Thank you”, he breathed out with relief.

“Now, that we got it cleared…” her voice gained a seductive tone; she snuggled even closer to him, placing her pussy firmly on his thigh. _‘I won’t **need** to tell him how he makes me feel if he understands himself’,_ she grinned internally, admiring her own genius. ‘_He should have the education, especially with all the stuff I’ve been sending him.’_

“A-asuka?” his voice was slightly panicked.

“Yes?” she was not sure what tone she wanted to convey; in the end, it came as an absurd mix of ‘annoyed’, ‘seductive’, and ‘plain’. The hip wiggle – translating to her wetness rubbing on his thigh – was a far better hint, though.

“What is–”

“The center of pleasure for the female body, thank you very much”, she grinned.

“No, I mean, why is it–”

She quickly placed a finger on his lips. “Hey. You’re an educated boy, aren’t you? You’ll figure it out. One hint: it’s fine. I **like** what you’re doing.”

_‘There. I said it. That’s not hinting anything, that’s hitting him over the head. Let’s hope it works and I don’t kill him in the process. Fuck the low-esteem issues…’_

She removed her finger from his lips. He seemed to still be in mild shock. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. You won’t hit me, I know. And if you do, I will make you regret it.”

Asuka giggled. “Yeah. I’m glad you’re finally getting it.”

Silence hung between them, but neither of them found it uncomfortable; they just kept looking into each other’s eyes, enjoying the closeness, and cherishing the warmth.

“Hey, Shinji”, Asuka finally spoke up when she saw Shinji’s eyes closing. “Want to… switch?”

“Mm?” he shook the sleepiness off. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, do want **me** to hold you, for a change? Don’t worry, I won’t spring any surprises on you tonight anymore.”

For a moment, there was a conflict in his eyes; Asuka could almost see the battle between his annoyingly traditional thinking and the utter insanity he must have perceived this whole situation as. “Yes… if you don’t mind”, he finally replied.

She smiled. “Turn around, then.”

He obeyed, slowly untangling himself and rolling over. Her arm went underneath his arm and around him; she caught one of his legs between her own.

“Comfortable?” she asked, barely audibly.

“Y-yes”, his tone voice was difficult to read, but Asuka was under the impression it was quite positive.

They stayed like this for a while; contrary to Shinji, Asuka was still far from sleepy; she usually got up later than Shinji and seemed to need less sleep in general. Moreover, since she began to pour more beer into Misato, they were able to start their sessions earlier.

“Shinji…” she started.

“Mm? Yes?” he sounded like he just woke up.

“Were you falling asleep again?” she asked with amusement.

“No, sorry, just… thinking”, he replied with little hesitation – but offered no follow-up.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Asuka prodded.

“Just… wondering” he admitted after a pause. “I… I don’t know what I did to… deserve this.”

Asuka’s shivered; her jaw clenched. _‘For fuck’s sake, Third. And I thought **I** was the World Champion Of Issues.’_

“Listen…” she started slowly, picking her words with extreme care. “I don’t know what’s going in your head, okay? I can’t know, and I don’t think you can explain so I can understand, all my genius notwithstanding. But I know one thing for sure: I’m not letting you go, okay?” she declared. “Metaphorically, of course. I mean… oh, fuck it. You did something right, that’s it. And you’re not losing it all. And neither am I. Neither of us is. Is that clear?”

She could not see his face, but she saw him nod slowly. “Thank you, Asuka.”

She let out a heavy sigh. “Gott, and I thought getting my ass blasted bloody was going to be the hardest part of today. And before you start apologizing, keep in mind that I can choke you from this position.”

“And risk getting another thirty on your bare bottom for being violent?”

Asuka took a deep breath. And another. And another. For some reason, something in his voice made her want to test it.

_‘Not today. Not. Today. **Not. Today.** Find yourself some distraction, woman!’_

“Not today, Shinji”, she managed. “Today… I’ve had enough. Now… I know I promised no surprises… but if I ask, it’s not a surprise, right?”

“I suppose?” he agreed. “What it is?”

“Can I move underneath?” she asked. “Your shirt, I mean”, she tugged at the lower hem of his t-shirt.

“I… think so. I mean, yes?” he replied, his voice uncertain.

Asuka wasted no time, sliding her hand underneath the fabric. She was not sure what to expect; the plugsuits gave a general idea of the person’s silhouette, but not about the details. She was pleasantly surprised to learn that Shinji was not as bony as he seemed to be.

“A-asuka…”

“Mm?” her exploration interrupted, she stopped but remained underneath.

“I thought you just wanted to… I don’t know, embrace me like this, not…”

“Not that I go exploring?” she giggled. “Is it too much? Want me to stop?”

“I… didn’t say that”, he admitted sheepishly.

“Just say the word”, she teased.

“Mm?”

“I suppose it’s only fair it goes both ways, right?” she proposed, serious voice returning. “Either of us says ‘Blau’, we stop and check.”

“That sounds… reasonable.”

“Glad to hear that. Now, where was I…” her hand resumed the exploration, this time slower and with more attention. After a few minutes, she comfortably settled on his stomach.

_‘I could stay like this forever… __How did it go? “Und Schlag auf Schlag! Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen: Verweile doch! du bist so schön!”? To the beautiful moment, I shall say: stay with me?’_ the thoughts flooded her mind.

She forced her tears down, trying her best to calm her breathing down.

“Shinji…” she finally started with a voice far more serious that their situation would justify.

“Mm? What is it?” he asked, his voice still quite conscious.

“Promise me something”, she requested, her voice firm despite being just above a whisper.

“Mm? What is it?” he carefully rolled to his back, turning his head to face her and maintaining as much contact with her body as possible. Too late he realized that would mean her pussy would rest against his thigh; he managed to focus, though: her seriousness banished the distraction.

“We… we live a dangerous life”, she started. “I try not to think of it too much, but…” she trailed off. _‘Say it. Don’t leave him hanging. And… you want to sleep tonight. You won’t if you let this fester.’_

He waited patiently for her to continue.

“If I ever die, promise me you will avenge me”, she finally breathed out. “Promise me you’ll rip the monster that killed me apart. Promise you’ll pound it into the ground.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping dearly that she would not see his tears. _‘Gods… “Intense” and “serious” don’t even start to describe it. How can I answer something like **that**? It’s like swearing an oath…’_

The heavy silence hung for half an eternity. _‘Well, in one way only, I suppose. It feels like Asuka is the only person in the world I wouldn’t actually mind killing for…’_

“I promise”, he finally let out, opening his eyes and locking his gaze with hers. She smiled at him with a very different smile, a smile that evoked an image of a predator over the defeated prey; in a strange bout of thought he realized he was not supposed to be the prey in this scenario – he was supposed to be the fellow predator. _‘I… really don’t understand how she thinks. But as long as she’s willing to bear with me–’_

“And I promise to avenge you”, she interrupted his train of thought with a solemn declaration before suddenly changing her tone to a far less serious one. “If you ever slip in your perfect record, that is”, she winked. An eyeblink later, her head was on his chest and she was clinging to his side. “Mm… I like this position. A lot of access”, she grinned, slowly sliding her hand down his stomach. She quickly noticed he started to tense. “Hey. Don’t worry, I did promise you ‘no surprises’, right? Do you trust me?”

He relaxed visibly. “I do, Asuka. I’m sorry, I don’t control my… reflexes.”

She smiled and rubbed his cheek with her nose. “Hey. You had a good streak without apologizing… pity it ended.”

“Hey, it’s not like every apology is wrong”, he protested.

She chuckled. “Not **every**, sure. But you’re certainly overdoing it. At all times.”

“Sor–” he bit his tongue. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“So… some friendly advice”, her voice turned serious again. “Stop. There’s a difference between ‘nice and accommodating’ and ‘wet blanket’. And… let’s say you’re not in the right spot of it. Yet. You’re improving, though.”

He was silent for a moment, taking a few breaths. _‘Talk about mood whiplash… the rollercoaster is certainly gaining on speed’,_ he sighed. “I… I’ll keep it in mind”, he finally replied. “Asuka… can you tell me something?”

“Yes?” she shifted closer, rubbing against him in a way that could – if someone was generous in their observations – be considered accidental.

“You said ‘friendly advice’…” he started slowly. “Does this mean we’re friends?”

Asuka’s face went through a series of expressions: from confusion, to hurt, to angry, back to confusion, to grin, to settle once more on confusion. Finally, let out a sigh and spoke up.

“Third. You’re just… impossible. You’re silent and unproblematic most of the time, but when you drop a bomb… The answer is ‘the hell I know’. I need to think about it more, and we both have more… pressing matters on our heads right now, correct?” she paused. “We’re close. You’ve seen… a lot of me, not just the body, but… well. Everything. And…” she clung to him. “As I just told you: I. Am. Not. Letting. You. Go.”

“Thank you”, he whispered.

“Shinji…” Asuka started again after a moment, her voice carrying an odd undertone.

“Yes?”

“I need a lemon”, she stated with perfect seriousness.

“What.”

“We’re… too sweet. Wait, let me explain”, she held him down as he started to rise; it took a significant effort, even in this position. “I meant everything I said. I really do”, she emphasized. “It’s just… you’re literally the first person I opened up to since… well, forever. Since I was four, I guess. Or the first person that managed to crack me open, literally”, she grinned for a second. “But I’m still learning. And, honestly, you’re not too good at this, too.”

“Well, I guess being abandoned at age of four didn’t help”, he quipped, his voice sad despite his attempt to sound light-hearted.

“Wait, what? How did you know?” she almost jumped up.

“Because it happened? My father dropped me off when I was four. I still remember him walking away at a train station. I was taken care of… but he wasn’t there. Not until he called me here.”

“Fuck”, she shook her head. “**That’s** what you meant. About yourself. Well… my mother, long story short, killed herself when I was about the same age. And my father didn’t exactly pay me much attention after he found himself a new, younger wife. So…”

Shinji could find no words better than: “Oh. I see.”

“So… I get it. I really do. So… Yeah”, she just repeated, not certain how to follow up.

“I’m sorry. About all that”, he whispered after a pause. “And… thank you. I guess this was a lemon enough?” he smiled a sad smile.

She shook her head, mirroring his smile. “I suppose so”, she let out a sigh and dropped back on his chest. “Enough of that, I’m not here to cry”, she declared in a firmer voice. “Well, I am, but… you know”, she cut off. Her hand started wandering around his chest and sides again. “I like what you have here, you know?”

“I-I-don’t–” he stuttered out, blushing again.

“You **really** need to learn to take a compliment”, she giggled and poked his stomach. “Well, I guess I can help you work on that”, she smiled and snuggled closer to him, enjoying the closeness and the warmth. Quickly she realized there were side effects to that enjoyment, though. _‘Let me guess, his body is having the expected effect on me?’ _A quick thigh rub confirmed it by sending a small spike of pleasure to her brain. _‘Great. Just fucking great. If he only knew **that**… Break time.’_

“I need to go back to my room for a moment”, Asuka said as she retreated from the exploration. “I’ll be back in ten, or so.”

“S-sure”, Shinji confirmed. “I’ll just… go to the bathroom in the meantime.”

_‘Oh. Let me guess, for the exact same reasons?’_ she managed not to say as she strolled out and slid the door closed. Waiting until she reached her own room seemed unnecessary; after all, the door could be opened and closed with one hand.

***

Twenty minutes later Asuka knocked at Shinji’s door; it slid aside almost immediately. “Come in”, he stepped aside. They looked at each other, mutual realization turning into mutual awareness, turning into mutual awkwardness; the uncomfortable silence continued, their blushes increasing with every second.

“I–” they started and stopped in unison, returning to uncomfortable looks. “We… need to talk about… it”, Shinji finally managed.

Asuka nodded. “Yes. Not today”, she requested, her voice tense.

“Not today”, Shinji nodded back. They remained in their places for a few long, awkward seconds. _‘Wait, I’m the host here’, _Shinji realized._ ‘I should resolve this. Gods… Getting hit by her was painful and maddening, but at least it was **simple**… oh well, what’s the worst that can happen?’_

He took a deep breath; grabbing Asuka’s hand, he pulled her carefully towards the futon. She visibly relaxed and followed without hesitation, soon settling in as comfortably as the current state of her bottom permitted.

“Hm… do you want to go back like before, or…” Shinji started, traces of awkwardness still audible in his voice.

“Hold me”, she decided. “It felt nice to hold you, and it’s great to sneak under your arm… but you know. Part of the… assistance?”

“Of course”, he smiled and rolled to his side, embracing her from behind. This time, her lack of underwear was merely making things a bit more complicated, instead of hard. For a short moment, a thought appeared in his mind: _‘Would she like me to act as she did? Take… liberty underneath her shirt? I already touched her belly… her clothing always rolls up.’_

He squashed that thought quickly. _‘It’s different. I mean… breasts are different…’_

That line of thought, of course, coupled with Asuka settling in comfortably with her unclothed and still red-hot bottom in his lap, could have only one result.

Sensing the obvious reaction, Asuka’s brain betrayed her once again:_ ‘I wonder if he’d restart so quickly after a proper f–’_

This time it was her turn to squash the thought. _‘Sleep. Sleep is good. I need sleep.’_

“Goodnight, Shinji”, she whispered, pressing against him.

“Goodnight, Asuka”, he replied, pulling her as close as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that Asuka’s backstory was supposed to be different in Rebuild than it is in the series, but as Rebuild gave us little information on her parents, I used the detail about her mother from the series; same goes for Shinji being abandoned.
> 
> On an unrelated note, a titbit about how this story behaves: the last three chapters were originally a single chapter 5., about 7k words long. I kept delving into their behaviors and thoughts, translating them into actions… and it became the three chapters you just finished reading (assuming you’re reading it in the intended order). Due to that, I still have no idea how many chapters are going to be in this story in the end or how long are they going to be – but I can reasonably state that we are past the mid-point. Unless the story will disagree with me at some point.


	8. Chapter 8

_Monday morning_

The morning was gray and dreary – as usual and as expected. Yet, some dwellers of the Katsuragi household found it, at the very least, both more and less painful than it usually was.

_‘This is going to be a **very** interesting day’_, Asuka realized as she sat down to breakfast. Even the discreet pillow that Shinji placed on every chair – “I found them in the storage, and I think it’s time to make use of them”, he explained to Misato, who did not even remember having them – helped only a bit. She was already dreading spending several hours in the school chair, hardly comfortable under the best of circumstances.

Yet for some reason, that thought filled her with anticipation.

***

_Lunch break, later that day_

Shinji Ikari was enjoying his bento; he was also enjoying the sight of Rei Ayanami enjoying the bento he brought her. His usual table companions were away for the moment, having gone hunting for food in the cafeteria and having told him to start without them.

Suddenly, a shadow loomed over his desk.

“Hey, idiot. Got a spot?” a familiar voice followed, easily identified as belonging to his redhead… ‘_Friend? Fellow pilot? Sub? Victim? Certainly-not-girlfriend? Classmate?’_

He shook his head from this train of thought. “Sure, take a seat. Is the food all right?”

Asuka sat down very carefully, her face twitching. “Yeah, it’s fine, as usual”, she replied aloud, her voice just slightly annoyed. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to chew you out”, she lowered the tone of her voice. “I need an… isolated spot in this damned place, and I need it soon”, she said while opening her half-eaten bento. “I have some… personal business to take care of, and I need it to be private”, she requested and took a bite.

_‘Technically correct. Let’s hope he’s not **that** smart… or that he’s innocent enough.’_

Shinji frowned. “It’s not that I know this place inside-out… you’d be far better off asking the Class Rep, to be honest.”

“Yeah, sure”, Asuka chuckled and put another bite in her mouth. “I don’t trust her enough to ask her what the weather outside is. So, time is short”, her voice gained some urgency. “Tell me what you know.”

Shinji’s frown deepened. “Well, the basement rooms are out of question, they’re usually kept locked. There’s a storage room in the back, but at this time, you’re likely to run into PE teacher or the janitor”, he enumerated with a thoughtful expression. “My best bet would be the roof”, he concluded. “The lock in the old stairway is broken, I sometimes use it when I need solitude. There are people there, sometimes, but there is an unspoken agreement about… well, ignoring each other there.”

Asuka raised her eyebrow and swallowed another bite. “Seriously, ‘don’t know this place inside-out’?” she smirked. “Well, I’ll take it”, she paused. “Thank you”, she added in warmed voice after a second. “Thanks for the food”, she closed the box, tossed it into her bag, and took off.

Shinji was left alone in a state he was very well used to: the state of confusion. He shrugged it off. _‘Who knows. I’ll have to ask her next time, when we are…’_ his thoughts got interrupted by the realization of the conditions it usually happened under. ‘_Next time when we are in bed’_, he concluded and blushed.

“Hey, Shin-man, you okay?” a familiar, if certainly now-unwelcome voice brought him back to reality. “Are you running a fever?” Touji looked at him with concern.

Shinji shook his reverie off. “No, I’m fine”, he replied. “Are you going to eat all that?” he asked as he glared at the amount of food his friend brought to the desk.

“Sure, I need the strength! You should eat more, too. Tell me, is that Red Devil making you starve by eating all the food in the house?” Touji narrowed his eyes at Shinji.

Shinji let out a sigh. This was going to be one of those less enjoyable lunch breaks. _‘I hope that Asuka’s “private business” is at least less… annoying than that.’_

***

The lock was broken, exactly as Shinji mentioned; to Asuka’s satisfaction, the roof was also empty – and big enough to not be seen from any side if she remained in the center.

_‘No time to waste’_, she decided as she lied down on the sun-heated concrete, her hand sliding into her panties. Build-up was pretty much pointless at this stage, as half the day spent twitching and being constantly reminded of the very thorough spanking she was subjected to made her sensitive and eager enough. Her fingers settled into a quick rhythm over the sensitive hood, sending small waves of pleasure across her nether regions and promising a strong, satisfying climax, one that would bring the much-needed relief–

“Outta the way!”

Faster than she could think, Asuka pulled her hand out and jumped up, assuming a combat stance. Looking in the direction of the voice, she blinked in confusion. _‘A paratrooper? Is this an invasion?’_

This was all she could think of before the figure impacted her with full force; the blow came too quickly to dodge it gracefully, but Asuka was able to at least control her fall enough not to fall flat or hurt herself. As soon as she was on the ground, her instincts kicked in: she grabbed the attacker with her hands and legs and rolled to be on the top. To her surprise, the paratrooper was far lighter than she expected; two seconds later, she had her forearm at their throat. Only then she was able to look at the face of the offending party – a girl with long, brown hair and blue eyes; she was not much older than Asuka.

“What the fuck?!” Asuka yelled with anger and frustration. “Is this some kind of a joke? Explain yourself!”

“Uggh…” the girl gestured vaguely towards her throat with the hand that was not held down by Asuka’s other hand. Asuka rolled her eyes and reduced the pressure her forearm was exerting.

“Talk.”

“I’m sorry! This was not planned!” the girl finally spoke up, her voice clearly panicked. “Don’t kill me!”

“Explain yourself. Were you sent to kill the pilots?” Asuka narrowed her eyes. Her mood was definitely not improving.

“What? No! I’m here to–” she was interrupted by the phone ringing. “I– I think I should take that.”

Asuka leaned on her harder. “You’re not taking anything, except maybe a beating, until you explain yourself why you attacked me!”

“Ugghh… I didn’t attack you, I… I needed to enter Japan c-covertly”, the girl managed.

“Hell of a result”, Asuka chuckled and reached for her phone – only to realize she left it in her bag. “Oh, fuck it. The old-fashioned way it is, then.”

***

The school’s cadre was used to irregular situations, especially when it concerned the 2-A class where the “NERV Assisting Staff” was attending. But seeing one of the students march someone down the halls, a parachute dragging behind them, was several categories above ‘irregular’. Especially as it was followed by a quick arrival of men in black suits who waved their NERV identifications and took the strange girl away.

“Okay, Asuka”, Shinji began as they were changing shoes. “What exactly happened up there? And are you really all right?”

Asuka let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll explain later. Weren’t you about to go somewhere with your weird buddies?”

“Yeah, but I told them to wait, I wanted to check on you first”, he explained.

Her stomach knotted; the sensation was accompanied by unusual heat she suddenly felt.

“Why? I handled the situation perfectly, didn’t I?” she managed.

“Of course, but you seemed… in pain? I mean, later, in class?”

She stared at him for a few seconds, then burst out into laughter; Shinji half-consciously noticed how different it sounded from mocking laughter she sometimes gave in the past – and how much he preferred this, clearly honest version.

Asuka took a careful look around, including checking the neighboring rows of cabinets, then she leaned to him, her hands at his shoulders. He smiled; her skin felt warm. “Of course I am in pain, idiot”, she whispered into his ear, her breath on his skin sending another pleasant impulse to his brain. “I can barely sit. I have been twitching all day. But this is entirely your fault, and your handiwork, and if you don’t feel _some_ pride in that, then you’re really stupid. All that bitch managed to give me was a bruise or two. I don’t care about those; I am used to combat injury. She got it worse. So… I’m perfectly fine and I hurt as much as I want to”, she pulled away with a grin. Seeing Shinji’s face turn red in response to her words only widened that grin.

“Oh. That. Right”, he managed.

She nodded sagely. “Exactly **that**. Now, don’t worry about me”, she grabbed her bag. “I’m off. Have fun, just get back in time to make the dinner. I’m not in any mood for takeout, and Misato’s cooking is too much for anyone. That weird penguin included, and it has the stomach of steel.”

He nodded, still recovering from the images flashing in his mind. “I will”, he finally replied.

She rolled her eyes, even though the smile did not leave her face. Leaving in a hurry, she knew one thing: there was something she needed to finish – and quickly, lest she would go crazy pretty soon.

***

“Hey, Shin-man, what’s wrong?” Touji poked at Shinji. “You seem awfully out there. Did you fall in love or something?”

Shinji looked at him with a look that questioned his intelligence – which he sometimes did. “I just… have a lot on my mind. That’s all.”

Kensuke raised his eyebrow. “Oh, does this ‘a lot’ have a name? Let me guess, it starts with an–”

“Drop it, will you?” Shinji demanded in a voice that put both Touji and Kensuke at attention, to their surprise and confusion. “I came here with you to enjoy myself. I’m sorry for spacing out… it’s just my life that’s getting crazy with all that… NERV and Asuka and Misato business”, he paused. “And this is about as much as I can say without risking an arrest or a public whipping”, he finished, feeling kind of bad for stretching the truth so much.

The boys looked at each other, shrugged in unison, and nodded to each other in concert. “All right, Shinji. We’ll do what we can to help you with that”, Kensuke finally spoke up. “But if we notice you’re **not** having fun, we’ll resume the interrogation with all available means!” he threatened. Touji immediately nodded to that.

Shinji chuckled. “Your worry about my state is touching”, he smiled. “All right, all right. Does that mean I get to choose the first game?”

Touji scowled, but a barely discreet elbow from Kensuke straightened him up. “Yeah, sure”, he confirmed. “Go ahead.”

Shinji grinned and led the band towards the arcade area.

_‘Well, I just hope Asuka’s not feeling lonely…’_

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami was indisputably alone, but certainly far from lonely – and she was certainly having fun. With a gag filling her mouth, one of her hands clutching the covers, and the other dutifully working up towards orgasm, she was having a lot of fun.

Aside from the obvious stimulation from the fingers rubbing against her clit, she felt still-tender skin of her bottom rubbing against the sheets – and the uncomfortable-but-pleasant way the gag was stretching her mouth. With the added frustration from the whole day of stimulation, failure to relieve it during the lunch break, and the very fast walk home, it was only a matter of time before–

Asuka unmistakably recognized the signs of the approaching climax and picked up on the tempo, sending increasingly frequent waves of pleasure through her body; soon, her muscles tensed, arching her back and curling her toes. A long, surprisingly loud moan pierced even through the gag as she rode the wave to the very end.

She dropped back on the bed, panting heavily to a degree the gag provided. Her whole body was shaking; a simple act of rubbing her thighs together sent minor aftershock thorough her body. _‘Oh. Well. That was… well’_, was about the level of conscious thinking she was currently capable of. She reached to the gag’s clasp in a shaky attempt if removing it – and realized she no longer needed to unclasp it to remove it.

“Fuck”, she cursed as she inspected a very thoroughly chewed-through part of the leather. “I… well, I guess this means another trip to the shop”, she sighed. Still, even this problem was not enough to ruin her mood. _‘If only he knew what he really does to me… God, he’d be blushing… and beating his record in running to get to the bathroom. To beat something, else, I bet’_, she chuckled.

She stretched, purring softly. The only cloud on her sky was the fact that this bliss was soon to end – she had her homework to do, and soon enough, Shinji and Misato would return.

She frowned. Of those three facts, only two were actually annoying her. The thought of Shinji’s presence, despite the fact she would have to put her clothes back on and stop grinning like an idiot, actually made her happier. _‘Damn it. I’m not only addicted to spending nights with him, not just enjoy being spanked by him, but I also like spending time with him? What will I do when he gets his stupid ass killed?’_ she pondered while trying to get out of the bed without collapsing. _‘I guess what I promised: rip the thing that killed him to pieces, murder a few people in blind vengeance for good measure, and then… well, not much will matter then, right?’_ she concluded with satisfaction.

A look back on the bed made her sigh again. The sheets could use a change, with a clearly noticeable wet spot in the middle of the bed. _‘Worth it. Totally worth it. I’ll have to let it dry before I throw it into the laundry basket, though, or it’ll be **glaringly** obvious what happened.’_

A thought appeared in her mind: _‘Why not tell him this way?’_ but she shook it off quickly. _‘No. Too indirect. I might be part-Japanese, but beating around the bush, no pun intended, is not my style. I’ll find a better way… What now?’_

The smell permeating the room made her decide. _‘Shower. The shower comes first.’_

***

_Later that day, dinner time at Katsuragi household_

“Asuka. About today’s incident… I talked with the Commander. I’m not saying you did wrong”, Misato started as soon as she settled at the table. “But you **could** have done it in a more… discreet manner. Mari Makinami is our new pilot, and you handled her as if she was some, I don’t know, thug. And you didn’t even let her get her glasses. They had to send someone from Section 2 to retrieve them.”

Asuka let out an annoyed sigh. Most of her good mood has evaporated by now. “Misato, for fuck’s sake. She dropped **on my head** and the only reason I don’t have serious injuries is my well-honed combat reflex”, she grumbled. “And for the third time: had she **told** me who she was and **shown** me some ID instead of babbling or pleading for her life, I would’ve listened. But she didn’t! And I thought she was sent to take us out! Come on, NERV certainly has enemies, and tell me that parachuting on the school’s roof is not at least **a little bit** suspicious!”

Misato sighed in defeat. The problem is that aside from making a rather big fuss and skipping the ‘maintain discretion’ part, Asuka followed procedure quite well. Considering her questionable approach to rules, this was an exemplary action, especially considered it was done under pressure. Still, something was bothering Misato about it. Fortunately for her, as the Commander expressed little concern about the incident, she was not being pressured into doing much above filing a formal report and close the case – which she intended to do first thing in the morning. So now, it was time to unwind.

“All right, all right. It’s not going to go into your file as an incident, but please try to be nicer to Mari from now on, all right?” Misato requested.

“Fine, fine”, Asuka rolled her eyes. “I’ll be as nice to her as she deserves. I guess she came out worse from our first encounter, so we’re kind of on an even start. I still don’t get why we’re getting another pilot when no new Evas are shipping in.”

“They are. Unit-03 will arrive… once it gets cleared for air transportation”, Misato explained, her tone still serious. “I’ll tell you more once I know more, but now, be a darling and get me a beer?” her voice suddenly turned far more cheerful.

Asuka frowned. It was clear, though, that Misato was not going to say much more. Concluding that, she rose from her mercifully cushioned seat and headed to the fridge. A quick calculation told her that spiking the beer today would be a waste – so she simply opened a can and handed it to Misato after a few seconds delay.

“Thank you”, the older woman gulped down half of it on the spot. “Hm, this batch doesn’t taste that good…” she pondered before taking another gulp. Asuka and Shinji exchanged glances; Asuka’s amused, Shinji’s – worried.

“Dinner needs a few minutes more”, Shinji announced in an attempt to distract Misato. “Who is that… Makinami girl, aside from being the backup pilot? And why didn’t she arrive… I don’t know, normally?”

Misato finished her beer and started a new one, dutifully handed by Asuka. “It’s actually a boring story, from what I was told. She is from another branch of NERV…”

Misato went on, her attention already elsewhere. With the dinner soon on the table, the threat of their little ploy being discovered diminished to almost nothing – at least for now.

***

_Next day, Tuesday; the morning before school_

The two teenagers were taking their usual route to the school.

“Asuka, can I ask you something?” Shinji started as they left the bus.

“You just did”, she replied, matter-of-factly.

“Can I–” he paused as if he realized something. “Can I ask several more?”

Asuka pouted. “You’re no fun. Sure, shoot”, the pout turned into a surprisingly soft smile.

“I’ve noticed you made some real progress in kanji… and in most cases I just confirm and supplement what you already looked up”, he took a longer breath. “Do you think you still… need me for that?”

Asuka stopped; Shinji followed suit as soon as he noticed that. Her eyes were closed, and her lips a thin line. “If you don’t want to help me, just say so. No beating around the bush, okay?” she requested, her voice just above a whisper.

Shinji shook his head, his expression surprised. “Wha–”

Asuka’s eyes shot open. “I’m not going to **ask** you for that again, and if you expect me to beg, you can go–”

“Asuka”, he interrupted her. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Y–no, actually no”, she admitted, tilting her head in confusion. “You’re an idiot at times, yes, but that’s not the same. Why? What does it have to do with–”

“Everything. We… spend time together, enough so I get…” he shook his head again. “Long story, short, if I wanted us to stop, I’d tell you so, endure your yelling or beating”, he paused and ensured there was nobody in their hearing range before continuing. “Appointed a punishment for that, executed it and we’d be done. Or we’d talk about it. Trust me on that?” he finished with an expectant look on his face.

Asuka took a deep breath. “I… suppose?”

“Yes or no?”

“Yes! Satisfied?” she blurted out in response. “Since when you’re so… insistent?”

“Since I noticed it works”, he smiled, eliciting a small huff from Asuka; she seemed to concede the point, though. “So… That was that. Do you need the kanji lessons, or maybe we should move to something else? Literature maybe? I’m no expert, but I can tell you a thing or two.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting we discuss… poetry?” her tone was less mocking than she tried to make it.

“Maybe?” he replied without thinking much. “I mean, classic literature has more kanji you’re likely not familiar with. Or we can go beyond the current school curriculum, or actually go back; I noticed you still use the English menu at a café”, he smirked.

She narrowed her eyes, trying hard not to show how this remark actually stung. “And you want to help me, out of the goodness of your heart?”

“And don’t you keep helping me for the same reason?” he retorted.

She shook her head; her expression bordered on a shock. “Okay, can we cut the discussion on motivations? I… Yes, I’d like to keep having you do the explaining, it helps. But we’ll discuss the details next time we study. Now, can we move? Hikari’s going to yell at me if we’re late again and I really prefer if my other end hurts, not the head.”

“Sure”, Shinji smiled and pointed the way with a slight bow. “After you.”

They resumed their walk at a far faster pace. Shinji’s face was ponderous. “Hikari’s really strict sometimes. I wonder if she ever spanked someone for being late or being really out of line.”

“I don’t think she’s allowed to do that”, Asuka remarked. “She might be a bloody dictator, but she has to follow **some** rules.”

“Fair point”, Shinji agreed, his voice marred by faster breathing. “I wonder if such a threat could rein Touji in”, he chuckled.

“I wouldn’t risk it in her place”, Asuka remarked dryly. She was proud of the fact that her body was in definitely better shape than his – she was still breathing normally.

“Why? He would not dare strike back”, Shinji noted.

“No, of course not. But what if he actually **liked** it?” Asuka replied with a perfect deadpan.

Shinji’s breath broke down completely, impeding his ability to walk quickly.

After all, it is very difficult to keep breathing while having a bout of uncontrolled laughter.

***

_Wednesday, after school_

“Asuka…” Shinji started as they returned to the apartment from – this time uneventful – trip to the grocery store. “Can we go back to spending nights like… before?” he tried. “Together, without the assistance? Without the… spanking?”

“I thought you enjoyed executing them?” she raised an eyebrow as she set the bags down in the kitchen. “Am I not a graceful… subject?”

“O-of course you are”, Shinji replied, his voice surprised. “How could you doubt it? Hold, I’ll use this in a moment”, he directed as Asuka started to put things into the fridge. “And of course I enjoy… spanking you”, he continued with a blush. “But we can’t do it all the time, and…”

Her heart fluttered as she turned to face him. “And?”

“I… I like to sleep with you. Next to you. With you. In the same bed”, Shinji kept going redder and redder. “I. Like. To. Be. Close. To. You” he finally managed to get out.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “So do I.”

“Really?” he blinked.

“What are you, stupid?” her eyes shot open and she glared at him. “Did you think I do stay… I don’t know, because I’m too lazy to walk to my room? I **like** it. Did you forget those four nights before… well, the last time?”

“They were… hard to forget”, he admitted with his blush turning serious.

“And I like **you**”, she kept going with her confession, aware that she was already past the point when she should have stopped – but something was telling her to just keep going. “Personally, I mean, don’t think too much about it. Okay? So… if you want me in your bed – just **so** – I… It’s fine, I guess. As long as you’re not hogging the blanket.”

“You can bring your own if mine is too small”, Shinji replied without thinking.

Asuka burst out in laughter. “Like an old couple?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.

His blush turned even deeper. _‘Haaalt. Let’s not go there. Backtrack, will you?’_

“You didn’t hear that. But the answer is ‘yes’, I guess. I mean, to sleeping. To sharing. You know what I mean”, she concluded. “Today?”

“Gladly”, he smiled a radiant smile.

***

“Asuka, I was joking with that blanket”, Shinji spoke up once his favorite redhead entered the room in her usual night attire and a spare cover in her hands. “None of us hogged it, we spent most of the night… well, snuggling together anyway”, he finished with a soft blush.

“Worst case, it ends up unused”, Asuka shrugged, folded the cover, and put it atop of one of the boxes before kneeling next to the futon. “You’re ready for bed, or need a bathroom break first?”

“I’m… fine”, he replied. _‘Don’t go into details, don’t go into details…’_

“Good. Let’s just wrap up”, she decided.

He just nodded and slid under the covers, holding them up for Asuka. “Come and join me”, he smiled. She gladly obliged, snuggling close.

A familiar poking on her skin made her giggle.

“Mm? What is it, Asuka?” Shinji inquired.

She wiggled her bottom in response.

“Oh, s-sorry”, he moved away immediately.

“Oh no you don’t”, she growled, half-angry, half-amused, and followed, her back still turned to him. The return of the pressure told her she succeeded, although she was quite certain he was currently sandwiched between her body and the wall of boxes. “I didn’t mind it before, and I don’t mind it now.”

“Asuka, I can explain–” he started.

“Mm?” Asuka was clearly amused. “Talk to me, Shinji. Tell me why… you are having a… reaction to me?” she asked in a guttural voice.

He swallowed hard. “Because you’re pretty, your skin is so soft, and you… you are perfect”, he whispered.

“You talk as if you were to put me on a pedestal”, Asuka grumbled. “But don’t stop”, her voice turned softer.

“And…” he resumed, somehow bolder. “You’re so active, so… full of life. I envy you…”

He felt her tense; he tightened his embrace reflexively.

“Asuka? Are you all right?”

“Shut up and hold me”, she demanded. “I… you still know nothing about me. Nothing”, she murmured, borderline audibly. “What I told you is just the tip of the iceberg. A pretty tip.”

“I want to know”, he retorted in a soft voice. “Talk to me. Please.”

“You can’t take it”, she whispered angrily.

“Asuka”, he began, his voice firmer. “I took all life threw at me in the last months and ran away just **once**. I managed the chaos you brought with you, worse than I could have. But well enough, I guess. So well that you trusted me. And…” he paused. “I want to help you. Haven’t I proven enough?”

“Hold me.”

She started to shake softly. Shinji already knew what that meant; he just pulled her closer.

They spoke no more that night.

***

_Thursday, early morning_

The alarm was, as usual, too loud and too intrusive. It was also disabled withing the usual two seconds, followed by Shinji’s hand returning to embrace waking Asuka.

“Good morning”, he whispered.

“There’s no such thing as a ‘good morning’, idiot. Unless it’s with you”, she mumbled out.

Shinji shook his head, not believing what he heard. Asuka suddenly rolled to her back, her eyes wide open. “You… you didn’t hear that. I will murder you if you mention it, and then take even a whipping if you deem it necessary. Is that clear?”

Shinji shook his head again. “Absolutely. But I don’t think I’d be able to whip you if I’m dead…” he quipped surprisingly well for a morning-hazed mind.

“We’ll find a way”, she started to disentangle herself from him; he loosened his embrace. She stood up; stopping just short of leaving the room, she turned back, took a step and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you. And the thing we talked about… I’ll think about it, okay? If you’re still willing to… listen.”

He nodded. “I am”, he confirmed in a solemn voice.

“But don’t hold your breath. It may take a while”, she looked aside.

“You know where to find me, Asuka”, he smiled softly.

“Yeah, at the moment it should be in the kitchen”, she grumbled and shot him a glare.

“As you wish”, his smile widened as he bowed his head.

Asuka kept glaring for a moment, then shook her head in disbelief, turned to the door without further word, checked the area, and left as quickly as she could.

_‘I really, really should not be spending so much time with him… but it feels far too good to pass up! Oh well, he’s not **that** dangerous. I can handle him’_, she concluded as she sunk into her morning routine.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thursday evening_

Katsuragi household was silent except for the sound of snoring. Everybody was already in their rooms, even if not everyone was yet asleep.

_‘Ha! My foresight had saved me again’_, Asuka noticed with satisfaction._ ‘God knows how tempted I was to ask him to go lower… my thighs would certainly appreciate the attention. But the teacher would not appreciate the marks’_, she let out a long sigh as she admired the fading bruises in her vanity mirror.

The whole day had been relatively peaceful and uneventful if one does not count her need to hide the surprisingly extensive bruising after the catch-up spanking from her PE teacher and the girls in the locker room; fortunately, some creative manipulation of her clothing and pretending to be tired to stay alone in the locker room helped. _‘I was lucky swimming was not on the table, though. Those swimming suits are a bit too revealing…’_ she realized. _‘And to claim period, I’d need to keep a calendar and explain why this wasn’t an issue before… still, that card could be played at least once’_, she made a mental note to make preparations.

Her thoughts went back, to hiding her marks from Ayanami in the NERV locker room. This was significantly easier: all she needed to do was to wait until the blue-haired girl finished her routine; Asuka was not even angry at her – for all her lack of emotions, she was efficient and did not make her wait too long. _‘Maybe, maybe the doll is not **that** bad. Oh well’_, she shrugged, set the mirror back down, and started brushing her hair, her thoughts still flowing around the subject.

What annoyed Asuka was the fact that – outside her… _sessions… _with Shinji and their time in bed together – their interaction was progressing too slowly. There was, of course, far less violence and far less vitriol – or, to be more exact, there was a better balance between her being vitriolic and him biting back increasingly, or just being cheeky. There were the study sessions, of course, they started to talk to each other on the way to and from school. They even started doing _some_ things together – like shopping, and she intended to make him assist her with some cooking. He had been helpful and cooperative; that was a given. He had been more considerate and attentive recently, too; she liked that. He was even less spineless and cheekier nowadays; this she had certainly appreciated.

But something was sorely missing from this. Something she could not put her finger on.

The added problem was Misato, or – to be more precise – her one trait, surprising at her age: immaturity. Whenever they acted just a tad friendlier than usual in her sights, the older woman’s comments and one-tracked jabs quickly ruined the mood, making Shinii shrink like the violet he was and making Asuka engage in increasingly annoying territorial competition with Misato, which made Asuka feel stupid and even angrier than she usually was. In the end, any attempt to make their guardian cut down on the jokes was wasted, be it by polite requests of Shinji or direct criticism from Asuka. _‘Who’s the adult here, really?’_ Asuka sighed. _‘At least me being snappy could be written off to my age and those damn hormones… her, not so much. Unless we go with the stupid stereotypes and assume that she’s going crazy by the virtue of being thirty and still single…’ _Asuka shook her head in disgust.

Also, there was a looming issue of having to discuss the awkward matter of their “breaks”. After their last spanking session, she was absolutely certain he knew what she was doing – and she knew that he knew that she knew what he was doing. They agreed to postpone this talk for a better time – but postponing it indefinitely was not an option. It weighed on them every time.

Asuka fell flat on the bed and pondered her options. She was not sleepy yet; she was not in the mood for reading, and her thoughts kept running in circles. She could try to sort them out by talking with doll-Asuka, but her mood was not right for that, either. To be honest, the doll was coming out less and less in recent weeks.

She sighed. _‘What am I supposed to do, start writing a diary? Maybe in katakana-encoded German… no, my written Japanese would suffice, nobody would be able to decipher it!’_ she chuckled. This was not an entirely correct conclusion, though: a few weeks’ worth of secret – at least from Misato – lessons helped her a lot in that regard. Slowly and successfully, she was ceasing to feel like a stranger in a strange land.

_‘I’m not going to his bed again, not today… not after yesterday’_, she kept considering the possible solutions._ ‘And definitely not after today’s morning. Too soon. Way too soon.’_

They tried their best to work out a reasonable approach to spending nights together and apart. The – yet another – elephant in the room and a subject they would have to breach one day was the very obvious fact that – given the opportunity and slightest pretense – they would be spending **all** their nights together. It simply felt too good to be next to each other. An ability to grab his hand or just snuggle closer whenever she felt like it made her feel safer, less tense and – more importantly – far less alone than she had ever been. And a few other things she steadfastly refused to name.

Awareness of that did not help her current mood. _‘Why him. Why. Him’_, she growled internally. _‘Why can’t I be addicted to something else, I don’t know, can’t I have some bad habit like all ace pilots? Like smoking? I’m sure that would be far less dangerous to my mental well-being. I wonder how Misato would react to **that**’,_ she giggled. _‘I doubt she’d have guts to spank me, I guess she’d yell at me and maybe ground me or something like that… or maybe not. She didn’t react when I beat Shinji up, for fuck’s sake. And that was something far more serious than smoking. Oh well, at least she’s a better battlefield commander than she is a guardian. Everyone has their fortes and their weak points’, _she shrugged and rolled to her back.

The pressure applied to her bruised bottom made Asuka smile. Her skin was healing nicely from the post-deprivation spanking, but the sensations were still there. Recalled how sitting felt soon after the spanking brought a smile to her face – even if it was kind of annoying then. But annoying or not, the fact that it made her orgasms far more powerful was certainly compensating that.

_‘Why the fuck does it work this way?’_ she sighed, pleasant memories once more displaced by confusion and annoyance._ ‘Why I am getting off on **being beaten**? Why am I getting hot on the thought of this… daddy’s boy blistering my ass?’_

Too late she realized this train of thought had only one possible end station – and, to her dismay, lacked working brakes.

_‘Fuck.’_

She jumped up and retrieved the strap and the remnants of the gag from the drawer; putting the strap next to her on the bed, she laid down comfortably on her back again. _‘If I’m going to play this fiddle, I’m going to play it properly’,_ she chuckled, putting the gag in and biting down on the still-intact ball. She almost moaned as the familiar sensation filled her mouth; placing one hand on the cold leather, she slid the other inside her panties.

‘_Aaaand I think I lost every right to call him a perv’_, she realized with both dismay and amusement, noticing how wet she was. _‘Well, it’s impolite to keep the lady waiting, isn’t it?’_ she smiled at the old joke and began the soft rubbing movements.

The memories flooded in. The anticipation, as she was standing there, bracing for the first impact. The touch of the cold leather on her skin just before the first swing – and the shiver that came with it. The tension reaching its peak just a split of a second before the first blow. The stinging sensation, and the second wave of pain – and heat – coming a moment after.

Her fingers started to move faster.

The rising heat. The needles under her skin, the burn. The realization she is on the brink of screaming and crying. The awareness that she could stop this in every moment – but decides not to, decides to suffer the next blow, then another, and another. The screams, waiting to escape her mouth, stopped only by the gag.

Her fingers settled into a rhythm, putting her on the right way towards the climax. The hand that was resting on the paddle went up to her mouth; she bit down, muffling a moan as it was about to escape.

The pain mixed with pleasure, the suffering mixed with relief. The feeling of helplessness, as she – a girl who would be able to break his bones if she ever needed to – was standing there, taking the licks of the paddle without any protest. The unwillingness to stop the incoming blows. The sudden realization that submitting to him felt **good**. Felt **right**.

A powerful wave of pleasure rose and spiked on that thought; Asuka’s fingers sped up again, riding it out; her muscles tensed, and her teeth clenched.

Some seconds later, she was laying on her bed, breathing heavily, her mind filled with scattered images and overwhelmed by bliss.

_‘Fuck. I… I’m really fucked in the head, aren’t I?’_ came the realization. _‘Do I really enjoy being his victim?’_ her thoughts kept going, the emotional and hormonal turmoil still in full force. _‘No, not a victim’_, she corrected herself, part of her mind performing a surprisingly sober analysis._ ‘I’m not being victimized here, I can stop him anytime, right? I… I just don’t want to. I just don’t want to stop him. Fuck. I really don’t. I’m not losing anything when he does this to me, quite the opposite, I am…’_

She punched the bedhead in frustration.

_‘I should get myself some Freud from the library and try to figure that out. Or not. What did he write about self-diagnosing, that old perv?’_

She rolled to her side, clutching the blankets. For a short moment, she really wished she was clinging to something _else_, something _warm_, _someone_ warm, someone _caring_.

Balling her fists, she rejected the idea. _‘Not today, if I go to him today, I may say a word or three too much and fuck it up royally. But fuck me if I **ever** let that slide away.’_

Her mind, still running on the hormone rush, gave her consciousness other thoughts, thought too absurd to even be admitted; they were about trying things she would never accept – like some _interesting_ spanking positions. To her dismay, she realized none of them sounded that bad right now. Worse still, those thoughts gave her a familiar tingle in her nether regions, conveniently ignoring the fact that they had seen some serious action just minutes ago.

_‘Damn me and my… what’s next, **blowing him**?’_ she thought angrily, trying to make it sound as vulgar as possible in her mind. To her – small as it was – relief, that idea gave her pause and did not sound as good as the previous ones.

_‘Okay, it means that I still have standards. Or at least limits’,_ she sighed. _‘Not that it helps me with… this’_, she turned her attention to her once more growing arousal.

_‘Well, I’m so glad the girl’s body is like a semi-automatic instead of a single-shot’_, she giggled through the leather as she reached down for round two. As soon as she slid her hand in, she realized with minor annoyance that her panties were completely soaked. _‘Well, better them than the bed’_, she shrugged as she removed the wet underwear and grabbed a towel to put it between her and the sheets. _‘Now, let’s rub this itch away before I have some stupid idea…’_ she decided before reaching down again.

Her hand suddenly stopped half-way. Her mind, still high from pleasure and full of images of Shinji doing… things, images of events both real and fictional, was working on a different level; not necessarily higher or lower, more like one parallel to normal reality. This was the only reason that the idea that just appeared in her mind was not immediately murdered and thrown out of the mind’s airlock as absurd and wrong.

She slowly reached to the gag, removed it, stretched her jaw, and grinned.

_‘Now, where was I?’_

***

In the same apartment, just two far too thin walls away, a certain boy with average – for a teenager – hearing was trying to sleep. It was not the volume that was keeping him awake – Misato’s snoring was definitely louder. Also, he got used to it over time.

No, it was his near certainty of two things: Asuka was crying and he was currently unwillingly invading her privacy. _‘Why would she cry? She never–’_

A sudden moan that could mean only one thing quickly corrected his perception: _‘Oh. Not **crying**.’_

This realization was quickly followed by his brain helpfully presenting him with a number of images of his favorite redhead – and how she looked this very moment. Images that were as colorful and lewd as they were unhelpful to his desire to sleep. His face turned red; this came as a surprise to him, as he very well felt where his blood went first.

_‘Oh. I… I really should not…’_

His first reflex was to put in the earbuds of his SDAT player. But while that would have solved the issue, he was unwilling too, for two reasons: his curiosity – but this he could ignore or suppress, invoking the concerns for privacy – and this tiny voice that was telling him that if Asuka _wanted_ him to _see_ her body – well, some of it – it would make sense that she also wanted him to _hear_. _‘She would have used the gag, otherwise, right?’_ he ran his idea through his continuously improving rationalization stepper motor.

He was, of course, not entirely convinced by this train of thought. His rationalization mechanisms did not deserve a name with capitals, yet, after all – they were still in development. So, he still felt guilty about listening in. After all, she did not say anything; that was just a supposition on his part. On the other hand, this could have been entirely purposeful: Asuka was playing the hints game long before, and there was no reason to assume she stopped after they started talking. Some things were still difficult – or at least touchy – subjects for both of them.

Like the elephant in the room their “relief sessions” became recently.

_‘If it is one of her games, then it is certainly working’_, he sighed with resignation._ ‘I’m not getting any sleep tonight… unless, well, I take my own… steps.’_

Thus, he waited. Finally, the sounds in question gradually ceased; only the Colonel’s regular drunken snoring carried through the walls. Shinji waited for a few more minutes and slowly slid his door open.

The apartment was dark. Letting out a heavy sigh of defeat, he made his way to the bathroom. Soon, thoughts of how Asuka might have looked in the act he overheard returned to his mind and filled it; he pictured her with her bottom freshly spanked, her hand making the motions and her face in ecstasy; this quickly mutated into the image of her with her hand buried between her legs _while_ she was getting spanked: him applying the blows and her moaning from both pain and pleasure–

His body shook as he climaxed; a few seconds later, he silently thanked his foresight that made him choose the bathtub to sit in. At least it was quick to clean.

_‘Speaking of clean… Until I come clean to Asuka about… **that**, I’m not going to be sleeping too well’_, he decided, his head hung low. _‘This is just plain wrong. The main question is: how to do it without messing everything up royally?’_

_***_

Asuka was lying on her bed, smiling smugly. She heard the sound of his door sliding open, the careful steps, the sound of the bathroom door. Regrettably, Misato’s snoring was annoyingly loud and drowned out the rest; even her finely honed senses were not able to listen in what Shinji was doing there over all the Colonel-induced audio interference. Of course, she did not need to listen in to **know**: her smile turned to a grin. For some reason, knowing she held this kind of power over him made her happy.

_‘Of course, I deserve to have my ass turned into raw mincemeat for doing this to him’_, she admitted to herself, matter-of-factly._ ‘I didn’t ask his permission for this surprise and this likely cost him some sleep… but it’s totally worth it. Hm, speaking of surprises…’_, her next thought turned her already-wide grin into a manic one. Even her eyes started to gleam with excitement. She was dimly aware this was one of those situations where the shoulder angel would take one short look at the idea, wave their hands, and scream ‘noooo!’ – while the shoulder devil would look with doubt in their eyes and say something like ‘I don’t know, sounds tricky’.

But it was also too good an opportunity to pass up. _‘Oh, fuck it. What gives. Inaction is something I usually regret more than action’_, Asuka resolved, quickly jumped up from the bed, and tiptoed to the door; the lights indicated that Shinji was still in the bathroom and the snoring indicated that Misato was still sleeping soundly. After a few seconds of pondering, she decided to wait for him in his room. _‘What’s another transgression worth… ten more licks? I can take it. And if he screams in panic, it’d be better if he does it behind the door…’_ she used The Great Asuka’s Wonderful Rationalization Engine with ease showing years of practice.

She quickly crossed the apartment, slid inside his room and waited for the inevitable.

***

Having washed his hands thoroughly and ensuring everything was as clean as it should be, Shinji Ikari left the bathroom and walked back to his room as silently as he could manage.

Closing the door behind him he sighed. “Sleep. No more surprises, just–”

“Hi, Shinji.”

***

Asuka prided herself at her agility and combat prowess – and rightfully so. The fact that she avoided an attack by a fraction of an inch was a blow to her ego; to her defense, she could not reasonably expect Shinji to react with the ‘fight’ part of the ‘fight or flight’ response. A part of her brain that was not busy notified that this made sense; he might have not been as combat-trained as she was, but fighting battles in Eva likely affected his thinking – not to mention, there was literally nowhere to run after he closed the door. In other words, she underestimated him, even if just a bit.

“Stop!” she demanded as loud as she could in a hushed tone. “It’s me, Asuka!” she added as she parried another clumsy, but definitely strong, punch.

He reacted immediately, taking a step back and quickly reaching for the light switch. The bright bulb reacted immediately, blinding her momentarily.

“Asuka?!” he asked in the same volume, his tone a mix of utter surprise and clear anger.

“Yeah… don’t try to kill me, or I’ll kill you. I… I guess this could’ve worked better”, she admitted, her eyes squinty and slowly adjusting to the bulb’s light.

“You think?” he glared at her, his voice incredulous. “I thought you were some kind of thief or assassin!”

“Well, if I wanted you dead–” she paused before realizing this boast would not be entirely true. “Where did you learn to fight?”

“I had to do some basic hand-to-hand to improve my coordination in Eva, it–” he stopped before changing his tone to somehow annoyed. “Asuka, what are you doing here at all?”

She smiled sheepishly. “I… wanted to talk”, she chuckled. _‘Well, I did. But good luck now with such a start… oh well, I handled worse crises. But then I could use brutal force–’_

“Wait. And for that, you snuck into my room in the middle of the night?” he asked, his eyebrows raised. “You could’ve waited until – ah, right. You don’t like to wait, do you?”

It was Asuka’s turn to glare. Normally, such accusation would be a reason to hit him, or at least execute verbal violence. But despite this being only a partial truth, ‘I came to talk’ was exactly her reason to come here – and she really did not want to wait. So instead, she just kept glaring at him. “Well, you’re not wrong”, she finally admitted in a grumbling voice.

“But there’s also something else to it, right?” he crossed his arms, his voice tired but somehow warm. “And can we stop beating around the bush? It’s late… and we both should really sleep more than we do.”

“Okay”, she agreed. “I thought it would be better if you got surprised _here_ instead of _out there_. And I was… right. A brawl could wake Misato up.”

He nodded reluctantly. “Logical, sure. But there’s still a ‘why’?”

“Well… I came here to talk about a… well… certain thing we both do…” Asuka started, uncharacteristically uncertain of her words. She was glad her ears were covered by her hair; she was quite sure they posed a fire hazard.

Shinji took a deep breath. “What was this about ‘not beating around the bush’?” he asked, his voice still tired, but also amused. “Okay. You want to talk, and I want to talk”, his voice gained some firmness. “So I’ll start: I heard you, just those few minutes ago. And it’s kind of obvious what you did…” he managed to say, but not without his face turning red again. “Initially I thought you were crying, then a moan came, and…”

“And then **I** came”, Asuka admitted, her face similarly red. “Yeah.”

They were standing awkwardly for a few seconds. Then Shinji shook his head. “Okay… this may take a moment. Please, sit down and… explain? I never heard you do… **that **before, why now?”

Asuka nodded and knelt where she stood. Half a second later she realized the difference and smiled, shaking her head. Shinji sat down half a meter from her and locked his eyes with hers expectantly.

She took a deep breath. “Okay. I was loud intentionally”, she raised her hand seeing his quizzical look. “Let me finish. I really came here because I wanted to talk… about… this”, she gestured in the general direction of her lower body. “You’re not the only one that needed relief, right? It’s not that girls don’t have _needs_”, she paused, her face going increasingly red. “Okay, here goes: I… rub… oh fuck it”, she growled. “I **masturbate** every time I get my ass blistered, and several times after that. I do it while thinking of it, putting the gag in, reliving it. The spanking, I mean. It makes me… well, feel better. Obviously. And… I know you do, too. Masturbate, I mean. I don’t know what you think of then”, she managed in one long breath. _‘I do hope it is about me’_, she left unsaid. But even without it, she suddenly felt a lot lighter.

He took a deep breath, his face covered by full blush. “Asuka…”

“Yes?” she raised her eyebrow.

“Promise not to be angry at me?” he asked out of the blue.

She shook her head. “No way I’m going to promise that to you. I’m not a liar”, she lied. “But” – she raised her hand as she saw his face turning to dismay – “I promise not to _hit_ you for what you say now. And I promise to hear you out. Is that good enough for you?”

He nodded slowly. “Thank you. So… well, yes, I… do it too. I mean… I do m-masturbate. As you said. Thinking…” he paused. “Thinking. Of. You” he managed slowly, forcing each word. “How you look. How you… act. How you–” he paused, reaching a luminescent level of blush.

“How… what?” she leaned towards him, her face rapt.

He took another deep breath. “I… I l-like your scent. I like the way you smell.”

_‘Oh. Damn. I wonder how I must smell to him **now**…’_ she realized. “Tell me, Shinji”, she started in a husky voice. “You had to do it in the past. Are those… times… now… different?”

With his blush still incandescent, he nodded. “Far stronger.”

She smirked. “Well, glad I can be of help”, she stated, trying to sound flippant; it did work only partially.

“And… yours?” he managed to ask, his voice shaky.

“Well… take a guess”, she looked aside, the color of her face matching his. “You heard me.”

“Over Misato’s snoring, yes”, he confirmed.

“That was the plan”, she admitted and raised her hand, seeing him open his mouth. “Yes, I know, I sprang a surprise without asking. This brings me to another matter: I need to be punished for that. Not today, I suppose, but soon.”

He nodded. “Tomorrow?” he suggested.

“Good time as any, I suppose–” she started.

“No”, he interjected, recalling something. “Not tomorrow. Misato has some external meeting on Saturday morning, and that means she’d be mostly sober tomorrow evening. But on Saturday, she has an appointment with Kaji; those usually take most of the afternoon. Then it will be… optimal.”

Asuka nodded. “Good. Saturday it is”, she agreed. _‘Yay. This is going to be… fun. Imagine all the anticipation…’_ she twitched as her stomach nerves started to tell her how she will feel for the next two days.

“And Asuka…” he resumed. “Punishment or not, please don’t do this again. I mean… both things. Being loud and surprising me like this. I mean… loud is fine, just…” Shinji started babbling, his slowly-reducing blush returning in full force.

Asuka giggled, relaxing just a bit in the face of his embarrassment. “You don’t mind me being loud, just in different conditions, but you’d rather not be scared to death by my invasions. Got it. I’m… I’m sorry, for what it’s worth”, she managed. “But it was the best way to… well, get it out of the way?”

He let out a sigh. “I don’t know about ‘best’, but it surely worked”, he smiled. “At a cost of some gray hair, I guess. But… are you all right with this?”

“Well, I won’t do this again, and I’ll take any ass whooping you give me for it, so yes, I guess?” she tilted her head.

He blinked at her and mirrored the head gesture. “No, I mean with me… m-masturbating to…”

“Ah. That”, she looked aside. “Well… I am the hottest girl you know, right? And I’d be offended if you thought of someone else. So, yeah, it’s weird… but I can take it. I know I should be angry at you for that, and actually I am, I think, but… fuck you, Third, why don’t I want to beat you up?” her voice dropped to a whisper. “I should be furious at you for listening, and then… using it for your own entertainment. What have you done to me?” She fixated him with a glare again, her balled fists pushing against the floor. “Why am I not beating you up _right now_?” she demanded.

“I-I don’t know”, he admitted. “Well, that’s good, I guess. I mean, I like it when you’re… softer. Kinder.”

Asuka looked away, simultaneously squashing a sudden urge to drop the old joke about German children always being Kinder. Aware that this joke would be wasted on him, she focused on the thoughts that were bothering her for a while instead: “I’m not softer. I mean… that’s exactly it. Something happens to me because of you”, she grumbled. “You’re doing something to me. But you’re not taking anything away. I don’t feel… weaker”, she shook her head. “I don’t hate you for that. I guess now I’m just feeling stupid for being too loud”, she admitted. “Oh, fuck that. I’m tired of thinking for today. We’ll get back to it, okay? One subject out, one in”, she summarized. “Just… let’s keep it to ourselves?”

His blush returned to its peak again. “I never intended to tell anyone”, he shrugged. “It’s kind of personal?”

“So, we’re fine”, she concluded. “Right?”

He nodded, still smiling. “Thank you.”

Asuka relaxed visibly, her blush slowly fading; sliding from kneeling to a cross-legged position, she started: “Also, I was reading up on some other stuff. And I started wondering if we could–Shinji?” she interrupted, realizing she no longer had his full attention. Or, more accurately, she had – just not where she wanted it. Following his gaze, she quickly realized the reason. Her blush returned in full force and her hands dropped down with record speed; she cursed silently for not thinking of it. “What are you looking at?!” she asked before realizing how utterly absurd this question was.

“S-sorry!” he replied in a panicked voice. “I didn’t mean to–”

“You perv–” she stopped herself. _‘Not fair, Shikinami’_, she remarked immediately. Taking a deep breath, she changed her stance from ‘murder everyone and dance on their graves’ to ‘extend a hand, even if it is covered in thorns’: “Cut it, idiot. You’re still alive”, she grumbled. “And technically, you already touched me… there. I mean, your body did. Not that this was the perfect way to…” she trailed off, a thought appearing in her mind. A thought so stupid she immediately stabbed it with lethal intent. That did nothing; the though dodged, danced, and presented itself again. Asuka growled.

Shinji titled his head, his mind refocusing on Asuka’s suddenly changing mood. “Asuka? Are you all right?”

She took a deep breath and raised her hand without a word. The battle in her mind was still ongoing, but as one side was a coalition of ‘take control’ and ‘be admired’, fighting a tentative alliance of ‘be reasonable’ and ‘have some decency’, the results were all too easy to predict.

“Okay, Third”, she blurted out fast, as if she was afraid the victory was not complete despite overwhelming advantage. “I’m giving you ten seconds to throw me out of your room before I do something that… qualifies as a surprise, I guess. Nothing invasive, though.”

Shinji thought for exactly two seconds before speaking. “No. I trust you”, he stated firmly.

Asuka closed her eyes, forcing the strange feeling down. _‘Best and worst thing to say in this situation. Why are you always doing things like this at the worst possible moment? Oh well, I’ll think about that later. Now… it’s showtime!’_

Suddenly jumping up from her sitting position, she quickly reached for the hem of her nightshirt and pulled it over her head. Throwing it on the floor, she put her hands on her hips and looked down at Shinji. “Behold, wonder, and feast your eyes”, she grinned. “I think you earned **that** sight”, she added before realizing how stupid this line sounded. _‘Well, his brain is fried anyway. No harm done.’_

***

Shinji, initially just startled by the sudden movement, was currently deciding between having a heart attack and an aneurysm. A stroke was on the table as well, he realized absentmindedly, considering the amount of blood redirected; fortunately, he was spared the anime-mandated nosebleed. The added problem was also the small fact that, despite his quite good education and a good grasp on etiquette, he was completely and utterly lost on what he was supposed to do in a situation when a girl suddenly strips naked in front of you and it is quite certainly not meant as a prelude to sex.

Moving on autopilot, his head was raising slowly, his mind clearly torn between the dim awareness that he should not be staring and the desire to feast his eyes on Asuka’s nude form. To add to the confusion, the tiny lizard brain was screaming about running away very fast lest he was about to be murdered; on the other hand, as Asuka clearly seemed proud instead of angry, that voice could be ignored.

In the end, the desire and curiosity won over his upbringing and decency; it was helped by the small voice that was telling him that this was _exactly_ what Asuka wanted – and she could actually be offended if he averted his eyes. Of course, this did not change the fact that his blush became incandescent again.

“Hey, Third”, came a voice from above. “Forgot how to talk?”

He took a deep breath, trying his best to look at her face, not her terrific – which adjective was, in his head, very close to one of its lesser meanings, ‘causing terror’ – breasts; his will and focus were fighting an uphill battle, though. What did surprise him – once he was able to focus on her face – was the fact that Asuka’s blush was as strong as his.

He slowly rose his entire body to a standing position.

“Wow”, he finally managed and immediately realized how idiotic it sounded. _‘Come on, think of something better. This is just above a wolf-whistle!’_ he urged himself. “A-a-asuka…”

“Yes?” she raised an eyebrow.

***

Despite her apparent composure and cockiness, not running away was currently taking a significant effort on Asuka’s part. Her head was spinning, and her skin was burning under Shinji’s gaze. She was not afraid of him taking advantage of her – despite him proving a passable combatant, she was quite sure she could bring him to the ground, especially in this distracted condition. Her worries were rooted somewhere else and boiled down to one question: _‘What if he doesn’t like what he sees?’_

Not that Asuka needed validation – she knew she was the best-looking girl in class, perhaps even in the entire school. The semi-surreptitious, often lewd stares she was getting all the time – and the seriously annoying love letters in her locker – were evidence enough. Of course, some of it might be written off to their fascination with her exotic nature, but she knew better – she was attractive, beautiful, hot. And she was **certain** of it.

Except in the moments when she was not. Except in the far too frequent moments when doubt overtook her, the times when she forced herself to maintain her proud façade, the moments when she was lying in her bed and questioning herself.

Except in those moments when she put that certainty to the test, moments like now.

Suddenly she became aware that this could only end in two ways: as a relative success or as a complete catastrophe.

_‘**Maybe** I should’ve weighed the risks a bit better…’_

***

Shinji Ikari was in a serious panic mode. Bereft of the protocols that usually guided his life – mainly because nobody told him about this particular corner case – and faced with likely horrible consequences of making a mistake, all his instincts were telling him to **run**. Not because he was afraid – that was handled – but because most actions could make the situation worse.

The situation was not helped that his instincts were laying a very direct path in front of him: _‘Reach to her, touch her, kiss her, devour her, fu–’_

He managed to put some brakes on that train of thought before it got too far. Still, the situation was far from resolved in any conceivable manner. His experiences were also making him painfully aware that running away caused people to feel hurt – it was so with Misato, it stood to reason it would be the same with Asuka. He had to do _something_. Moreover, it had to be something that was between ‘avert his eyes and tell her out’ and ‘lay his hands on her here and now’. Preferably, not including any of those bound conditions.

Of course, most of this was not conscious thinking on Shinji’s part. His conscious thoughts were surprisingly active, but they were limited to working out surprisingly poetic descriptions of the color of Asuka’s skin, curves of her figure, shapes of her–

“A-asuka…” he managed unhelpfully.

“Yes?” her voice was still cocky, but now tinged with a mix of annoyance and fear.

“Y-you’re beautiful. I… I… I can’t…” he stuttered out.

Asuka smirked in response. “Well, that’s something. I was honestly afraid you were about to start quoting Song of Songs”, she quipped.

He tilted his head. “Quoting what?”

She shook her head, forgetting the current situation for just a second and wondering how horrible Japanese education was in teaching the students about useful tidbits of Western literature. A counter-thought about her being ignorant of Japanese literature was quickly dismissed as irrelevant.

“Never mind, I’ll explain later”, she waved her hand. “I take it you like what you see”, she grinned. “I thought you might. But say one word about it to anyone–”

Shinji managed to focus on her face. “I would never”, he declared seriously. “And y-you know t-that”, he started to stutter again as his eyes escaped down.

“Take a good look, Shinji”, she teased. “It should help you a lot with your… relief.”

A few conflicting emotions ran through Shinji’s face; Asuka, despite paying close attention, could not name them all, but there certainly was shame, happiness, lust, and… anger?

_‘Damn it, did I just fuck this up?’_ a panicked thought appeared in her mind._ ‘In my moment of triumph?’_

He narrowed his eyes; the sudden emotional shift clearly made it easier for him to focus on her face. “And will you be thinking about this moment during your… relief? Of how you felt, or how I looked at you?” he asked, his tone almost angry. “Or does it have to be a spanking?”

Asuka’s eyes narrowed in response, her palms – hitherto resting on her hips – balled into fists. “You–”

Shinji closed his eyes and reopened them slowly, meeting her gaze without a word. “Yes?”

Asuka’s head, having calmed from a spinning fit in the meantime, was swarming with thoughts. She put those she deemed useless – like ‘get out of here’ and ‘hit him’, along with ‘make him kneel and worship you’ – away, focusing on those that might provide some solution. _‘I got myself into this, I will get myself out of this. I’m going out of here with my head held high or not at all’_, she decided. She only had to choose which approach to take. ‘Angry and vicious’ was the obvious choice – he just challenged her. But something in her head was screaming otherwise: after all, he merely responded to her jab.

“Fuck you, Third”, she replied, softening the verbal aggression with a smile. She crossed her arms on her chest, making sure her breasts were pushed up.

Shinji maintained eye contact with visible effort. “Asuka”, he started in a focused, only slightly wavering tone. “Whatever you request for the next spanking, I will add five on top of that. Come to think of it, this whole… incident, your ex-exposure excluded, would be worth… some… marks on your b-bottom.”

Asuka closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. _‘Fuck you and your voice, Third. I really hope you’ll never learn how much power you could hold over me if you just chose to’_, she thought as she tried to calm herself. _‘Or maybe I hope you will. Fuck me. I mean… fuck.’_

She opened her eyes, their gazes locking again. To her satisfaction, she noticed his eyes were sliding down with amusing regularity. _‘Not **so** above it all, are we?’_ she grinned internally, letting it slip out a bit. _‘About his threat… thank you, that’s what I needed.’_

“So, showing off my wondrous body is not enough of a compensation for you?” she asked in a mocking tone, moving her hands back on her hips. “You need to spank me, too?”

He let out a resigned sigh. “Asuka… Is this a punishment for you? Are you doing this to punish yourself?”

She just stared at him in response, her cheekiness severely dampened.

“I think it is not”, he continued, forcing his eyes back up with a varying degree of success. “You asked about this, so… I don’t blame you. You did this… for some reason. I… I…” he closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “I will remember this for a long while, don’t worry. You’re… perfect”, he managed, eliciting a surprised look from Asuka. “But… this is not compensation or anything. When you… **if** you come to me for another spanking, this will be a punishment for other things today”, he declared. “And now… you have an unfair advantage now. Making me talk to you like this is… well, unfair.”

“How is this unfair?” she asked, her mocking tone returning.

He reopened his eyes and locked his gaze with hers once again. “How would you feel if I started to ask you questions just after I spanked you, instead of taking care of you?”

“It’s not the same!” she protested, crossing her arms again. This time, she did not make an attempt to expose anything; the gesture was far more natural.

“It’s not **exactly** the same, agreed. But… it’s similar. It’s abusing an advantage”, he explained, forcing his eyes back up again.

“All is fair in–” she started only to cut herself off, realizing what would follow. “Are you calling me abusive then?” she quickly changed the direction and went to the offensive.

His gaze turned incredulous. “I’m calling you… I don’t know!” he burst out. “Just… I don’t know. Listen, this is… I mean, I can’t go on like this. We have three options, Asuka: you leave now and we talk tomorrow, you put your clothes back on and we keep talking, or…” he trailed off, his lips closing in a thin line.

“Or?” she raised an eyebrow, her tone mocking again. “I’m listening?”

“Two options”, he corrected himself.

She smirked. “Let me guess, the third option was–”

“Choose now”, he demanded in that specific voice that tended to send shivers down her spine. “Please”, he added in a softer tone, reducing the impression to Asuka’s dismay.

She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Okay, you **are** surely getting more assertive. Good for you. But why do you always choose the worst moments to show it?” she finally spoke in an annoyed tone. “So, okay. You’re… not wrong. Not entirely. I suppose”, she reluctantly agreed. As she leaned down to pick up her shirt, Shinji’s eyes remained glued to her form until she straightened back; looking away seemed an impossibility.

“I… I’ll be going now”, she spoke with her eyes averted. For a moment, she seemed to ponder something, her body language sending confusing signals.

He smiled softly and extended his hands carefully. “I promise not to do anything… wrong. Come.”

She smiled back sheepishly and took a step forward, locking him in a tight hug, a hug he eagerly reciprocated. For reasons unknown to him, Asuka’s nudity suddenly ceased to be a problem, despite her being far closer now, the bare skin of her back under his hands. _‘Mm… She really has some muscle …’ _a stray, admiring thought appeared in his mind as he enjoyed her warmth and the simple pleasure of having her close to him.

“Goodnight, Shinji”, Asuka whispered as she reluctantly relaxed her grip.

“Goodnight, Asuka”, Shinji replied in a warm, almost dreamy voice.

The door slid closed behind her a moment after. Shinji turned off the lights, sat down on his futon, and let out a heavy sigh. _‘And I was hoping my life would be **simple**… But I guess I owe **someone** watching over me a thank-you’_, he smiled._ ‘This could have gone **far** worse…’_

***

_‘Why couldn’t this be **simple**? He was not supposed to be so cheeky in the face of **perfection**!_’ Asuka grumbled to herself. _‘This could have gone **far** better…’_

She dropped on her bed face-first, not even bothering to put her shirt back on. A pillow-muttered “fuck” was full of dejection. She took a look at the clock; it showed 0:47, an hour far too late to do anything but go to sleep if she wanted to be remotely conscious tomorrow morning – but she was anything but sleepy. Round three, while likely to relax her enough to sleep, was not exactly an endearing idea. She certainly **liked** the way he looked at her; the fact that he was barely able to focus on her face, his eyes escaping all the time, was a nice compliment to her attractiveness. The fact that he was able to hold a relatively normal conversation and even push back was, on the other hand, both surprising and annoying.

_‘I guess I expected him to have the stereotypical nosebleed and to babble incomprehensibly… maybe even stutter out a shy and barely audible request to touch me… I would’ve refused, of course, but he didn’t even **ask**!’_ she sighed angrily. _‘Fuck that…’_

She rolled on her back. The sensation of her bruised bottom touching the surface, pleasant not too long ago, was now just a reinforcement of her sour mood. The worst thing for her was the simple fact that while she could be angry at Shinji on principle – and she was – there was absolutely **nothing** wrong with his behavior. _‘I was expecting him to do something stupid… but he… fuck, he talked back and even pressured me to…’_

She balled her fists and glanced at the clock again. 0:48. She glanced at the drawer. ‘_Fuck no. I don’t need to dissect myself right now… and I don’t need another nightmare.’_

She took a long breath, held it, and released it slowly, her hand pressed against her stomach. The tensed muscles relaxed just a bit. Repeating the process helped – but not enough to let her fall asleep. There was an insidious, treacherous voice whispering in her head: _‘Go to him. He would not mind… What do you have to lose?’_

She did her best to squash that voice. _‘Not today. I did enough today. He told me to go. He… No, I chose to go. No.’_

_‘You can invite him here…’_

She drove her nails into the mattress. _‘Fuck no. Not after what I just did. Just… no.’_

_‘He could watch you…’_ the voice continued. _‘He saw a lot of you today, and you liked it…’_

The recent memory returned, making her stomach flutter in a very different manner, a manner welcome – even if it did nothing for the tension. There was more to that moment than just satisfaction from distracting him with her body and making him stare – and almost incinerate from the blush, too. His gaze was certainly filled with lust, that much was obvious – but also with admiration. She smiled at that memory.

It felt good to be admired. She would never do something like that in public, that would be just wrong; she had enough issues with boys staring at her when she was in her swimsuit in PE classes. But for him… for him it was different.

_‘He can keep a secret. He’s not a threat, he’s not a competition, he’s… safe. And I’m doing all this only because having someone I can trust is vital to maintaining combat readiness’,_ she tried to convince herself. _‘If only he would be a bit bolder… but still, not today.’_

Her brain helpfully provided her with several images: Shinji carefully touching her side, his hand sliding down on her hip; a delicate move of his hand brushing side of her breast; his lips on her–

_‘Stop. That escalated quickly’,_ she realized. _‘Well, at least now I’m in the mood again…’_ she sighed as she reached down to relieve her tension in the simplest way – but not before retrieving and applying the gag.

***

_Friday morning_

The morning – and the accompanying alarm – came all too quickly. Asuka woke with a groan, her head full of thoughts – but very few solutions. One thought was dominant, though: _‘Tomorrow evening.’_

A counter-thought of ‘_You’re thinking like an addict waiting for a fix’ _was quickly squashed. Great Asuka did not need this kind of negativity in her life if she was supposed to face a new day. Especially that near the top of the day’s agenda was facing Shinji after that little… incident last night.

_‘I didn’t back down from an Angel, I will not back down from him. I’m ready for battle!’_ she decided while collecting her change of clothes and left for the bathroom, ready for the inevitable confrontation.

***

After a few steps into the apartment’s open space, Asuka encountered the feared opposition.

“Oh, hi Asuka”, Shinji smiled at her with just a small blush. “You look… exhausted”, he looked at her with worry. “Do you need coffee?”

She stopped in her tracks, looking for words. _‘This is not the scenario I was thinking of. Why isn’t he sputtering and starting fires with his skin?’_

“N-no. I mean, yes. Definitely yes”, she managed.

Shinji’s eyebrow raised slightly. Asuka kept looking at him, sensing that something was wrong, but unable to comprehend what it was.

“Yes?” she tried again?

A corner of Shinji’s mouth twitched; he was clearly holding back a smile, or maybe even a grin. She forced her brain to make some effort. “Yes, please?” she tried.

“By your command, mademoiselle”, he bowed with a soft smile, switching the coffee maker on.

Asuka just stood there, dumbfounded, mixed feelings raising in her chest. One conclusion raised to the fore of her sleep-hazed mind: _‘I am going to murder him. Or marry him. Or both.’_

Shinji kept smiling at her as he went about the usual breakfast preparations, unaware of the dual, almost equally dangerous plans Asuka had for him. His mood was brightened by the thought that he was about to make Asuka’s day better.


	10. Chapter 10

_ Friday morning _

“How the hell did you know how I like my coffee? You never made it for me before, and I’m sure I never told you”, Asuka inquired as they walked towards the bus stop.

“I asked Misato a while ago, and she told me”, Shinji smiled. “And she was right, too.”

She shook her head. “You… I really should kill you before I get used to your… care”, she sighed. “Or all will be lost soon.”

His smile widened. “Well, that would leave you with Ayanami to guard your back, this… odd girl that parachuted on your head at your side in battle, and no one to cook for you – well, except Misato. And that would be a death sentence for **you**.”

Asuka shivered with a theatrical exaggeration. “You make a compelling argument to keep you alive, I give you that”, she growled.

“Not to mention, you’d have to find someone to take care of your–”

Before he could react, his back was pressed to a wall; Asuka was merciful enough to slide her arm behind his head and spare him a concussion, but his back was not so lucky. “Take. Care. Of. My. What. Third?” she asked, hissing out every word.

His heart was pounding, and his body was suddenly primed for combat. Still, he could not miss how beautiful Asuka’s face was right now. Contrary to common sense, he smiled. Asuka tilted her head and blinked.

“You’re supposed to be **afraid** when I do that”, she remarked in an annoyed voice.

He shrugged, his smile turning sheepish. “Well, I am. But… well. I know that outburst will cost you at least ten more tomorrow, so…”, the smile ended up far meaner than she came to expect of him.

She glared at him in disbelief. “For. Fuck’s. Sake. Third. Give me **one** reason not to kill you **right** **now**.”

“Well”, he kept smiling, “first and foremost, you’d have to explain to Misato why she’s on her own with cooking and laundry from now on… and you’d have to live in a hovel her apartment would turn into pretty quickly”, he replied, his voice just a bit shaky – but clearly amused. “Or, worse, be forced to take my duties. Not to mention…” his tone suddenly turned sad. “You would be alone tomorrow night.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The pressure exerted on his chest lessened; a second later, she stepped back and turned her back to him in one swift move.

“Come on. We’ll be late”, she almost whispered while breaking into a fast stride.

Shaking his confusion off, he followed without a word.

***

“Are you all right, Shikinami?” Hikari Horaki inquired as Asuka was mindlessly stabbing at the barely touched, Shinji-made bento.

“Yeah, fine”, she grumbled. “I’m just…”

“Did he reject you?” the Class Representative narrowed her eyes at her and shoot Shinji – currently sitting innocently with his buddies – a glare. “How could he?!”

Asuka raised her head and stared at the girl. “What?” she asked.

“It’s about him, isn’t it? He did something to you?” Hikari pressed on.

Asuka shook her head. _‘Not yet, but he will tomorrow, and I will enjoy it immensely’_, she released the brakes on the thought train._ ‘And if he does it well, I will fight myself not to beg for more, and then I will have a schlick that will make me moan through the gag–fuck”_, the train came to an abrupt stop as she realized what she forgot to do. “Aw damn it”, she let out, the strongest wording she could have allowed herself in front of the Horaki Propriety Police Officer. It still earned her a dirty glare.

“So what happened?” Hikari kept inquiring. “Are you sure you’re not protecting him? And are you running a fever?” the Grand Inquisitor Horaki was not letting the subject drop.

Asuka hit the desk flat with her palm and winced as the chopsticks got in the way and made the experience more painful than she anticipated. “Horaki-san. I. Am. Fine”, Asuka barked out word-by-word. “Nobody hurt me, and do you know how can you tell that? Because nobody was found dead behind the school. And now, if you excuse me, I need to finish my lunch before I will return to enjoying the wonders of the Japanese education system”, she finished with enough venom to paralyze a weaker mind by osmosis and stood up, taking her bento with her and leaving a slightly stunned Hikari Definitely Not Used To Being Told Off Horaki at her desk.

***

Shinji Ikari was enjoying his lunch break; he was bothered by Asuka’s odd behavior in the morning, but not to a degree that would cloud his day too much. He knew very well she had her outbursts and while there was a time when he genuinely feared them, it has changed. He still did not **like** them, of course, but he finally understood that they simply came and went – and it was actually better if he did not apologize on the first opportunity.

He still could not understand why apologizing made Asuka so mad – after all, it was the proper thing to do and not doing it was often rude – but, in the face of mounting evidence, he simply accepted that fact. Those few weeks ago the morning incident would have ended with him chasing her with an apology, most likely followed by her scoffing – or maybe even yelling – at him and the whole day ruined. Instead, he simply kept her company as she seemed lost in her thoughts.

And it seemed to work.

A sound of Asuka’s voice broke him out of his reverie: “Move your ass, gorilla.”

He shook his head, confused by the unusual epithet, only to realize it was directed at Touji – who, to Shinji’s amusement, reflexively obeyed before opening his mouth to protest. “Oi, what gives you the right to move me around?”

“My obvious authority and the fact that this is the best place”, she retorted while sitting down next to Shinji. “Thanks”, she added after a pause.

Touji and Kensuke stared at her, their mouths open, clearly unable to process the final word. Shinji, merely mildly but pleasantly surprised, just smiled at Asuka as warmly as he could. She replied with a very small smile, expressed more by her narrowing eyes than by anything else. A hint of implied threat appeared in that glare, too – his reply was to shake his head softly without losing his smile.

Two seconds later Asuka simply re-opened her bento and resumed eating her lunch as absolutely nothing has happened, ignoring the pounding of her heart and forcing herself to breathe steadily.

_ ‘God, this is… I want this. I want this to work that way’ _ , she realized. _‘I hope he does, too, or there’s going to be blood. And I’m not sure whose.’_

***

_ Friday evening _

Asuka was pacing around her room like a wild animal in its cage. She was not angry – well, not at her usual level, at least – nor was she annoyed. But she was feeling restless, even anxious. There were several things on her mind; the lunchtime incident, while rather minor, set her mind on the track that ended with one conundrum: _‘We’re acting like a couple already. And I fucking like it. Way too much. Does he? What **are** we?’ _

She already attempted to ease this anxiety by the tried-and-tested methods – including having a lemon balm infusion, playing several games, and three-minutes steady breathing session – but none of those provided any relief. She could, of course, confront the problem – which, in a way, had a name – but this was made difficult by two factors: Misato had gone to sleep annoyingly sober – after having just two beers – and Asuka suffered from a deeply-seated unwillingness to ask a question she might not like an answer to – especially that she was not entirely certain what answer she would actually prefer.

The frustration festered inside her, evident in every tensing muscle. She forced down a groan and punched the wall. The distraction stemming from the pain helped a bit, so she repeated the treatment again. And again. And again. And–

A sound of knocking interrupted her impromptu percussive therapy.

“Yes?” she hissed out.

“It’s me, Asuka”, Shinji’s whisper sounded in the night. “Are you all right?”

A flash image of pushing him against the wall and screaming all her frustration to his face appeared in her mind just for a moment; she dismissed it immediately. That would have helped, but – contrary to inflicting direct violence to him – felt undignified. Not to mention, it would be utterly stupid under the circumstances. Not that direct violence was on the table, anymore, either.

“I’m fine”, she lied. “Just…” she trailed off, unable to formulate anything that would sound convincing.

A few seconds of awkward silence later, a question came in. “Do you want to talk?”

She clenched her jaw. _‘Oh, sure. And I even have all the equipment needed for you to talk to me properly right here’_, her mind dutifully suggested. She shook it off. _‘No. That comes tomorrow…’_ she smiled – and felt her stomach tangle in a familiar way. _‘Fuck. Now this, too…’_

“I… I’ll be fine”, she lied again.

***

Shinji Ikari was no stranger to Asuka’s moods and her bouts of violence. Usually – and not that long ago – he simply gave her a wide berth when she was acting aggressively. It worked most of the time – unless he was the target of the aggression, of course.

This has changed. Now, he felt relatively safe from the physical results of her temper, and with the threat gone, concern for her was allowed to emerge. With the growth of positive feelings towards her, the concern quickly began to turn into worrying about her and a desire to help.

Hence, when he heard the odd thud, he made his way to Asuka’s room. The repetitions reassured him that she did not fall – and quickly made him suspect what was going on. Thus, he asked… and received a reassurance. But this was a reassurance he could not fully trust. There was something in her voice, something forced. He was by no means good at reading _people_ – but he was slowly getting better at reading _Asuka_. And something was wrong about all this. He knew the logical thing would be to respect her answer and leave… but he also knew Asuka did not always employ logic in her actions. Thus, logically, nor should he when – at least in some situations when he was dealing with her.

“Can I come in?” he requested. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. We didn’t hug goodnight, did we? We can at least do that”, he smiled as he spoke it, hopeful his voice carried that as well.

***

Asuka froze at his request. A chain of events played before her eyes: her letting him in, them talking all night, kissing, having – mercifully glossed-over in just a few flashing pictures – sex, him proposing in the morning, and finally her in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle, led by Gendo Ikari–

She smacked the side of her head as hard as she could in an attempt to purge that image. _‘My imagination is getting stupid ideas, fuck me’_, she growled internally. _‘That stupidity aside, what do I do with that puppy at my door? He must’ve heard me, I can turn him away, but I’d be like kicking the aforementioned puppy…’_ her thoughts kept running. _‘Hell, no reason not to. **He** asked it, after all.’_

“Okay, come in”, she whispered.

The door slid open.

***

It was rare for Shinji Ikari to visit Asuka’s room, perhaps except to collect or deliver her laundry. It was definitely larger than his current one – and he missed the space that was once his. But it was clear that she needed it far more – the room had far more things in it than in the times he lived there. He shook those thoughts off – he came here for a reason, and nostalgia was not that reason.

Instead, he focused on Asuka. She was standing in the middle of the room, dressed for the night – _‘Thank the gods’_, Shinji noted – her hair flowing loosely, with her arms crossed on her chest. “Thank you”, he smiled.

She tilted her head. “For what?”

“For letting me in?” he replied. “And for… well, not springing a surprise at me”, he chuckled. “I know it’s late, so…” he closed the distance between them, stopping about a step away. “Hug?”

She took a deep breath, still tense. “First things first. You said you want to talk?”

Shinji blinked. He was quite sure this was not how it went just a minute ago, but he knew arguing would do nothing except ruining the moment. “We can”, he nodded. “We… should, I suppose”, he corrected himself.

“Okay, sit”, she pointed her chair while sitting on the bed herself. “Let me guess, you heard a noise and thought I was murdering someone and wanted to help me hide the body.”

Shinji sat down. “Something like that”, he chuckled. “Well, except I knew you do this when you’re angry – hitting things, not murdering people – I hope–” he kept going, his voice nervous.

“Stop it!” Asuka managed to keep her voice down, but her anger was clear. “And what if I do? Why would that be your business?” she hissed out.

He closed his eyes. His heart was beating faster; he could not tell whether it was a fear reaction to her anger or just his body telling him this is an important moment. Not that it mattered much; he just tried to calm himself.

“Because I care about you, Asuka”, he finally spoke up, opening his eyes and finding hers. “Because I’d rather see you happy than angry”, he smiled warmly.

_ ‘Fuck. That smile again. That should be a girl’s weapon, not his!’ _

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. When she reopened them, he was still there, still smiling that damn smile. Another battle was about to start within her, an internal argument between ‘throw him out for being presumptuous and crossing the line’ and ‘throw him on the bed and kiss him senseless’. The quick sequences of images Asuka’s mind had shown her in both cases made her decide this was not a battle – nor the results – she wanted to have right now.

It was a time for a quick tactical nuke, something that would change the conditions far enough to break any attempts at fighting. Something that would turn the focus to her. A piece of advice from a recently read article came to her mind.

“Okay, Shinji”, she spoke up quickly, simultaneously realizing she was starting to blush. “Let’s add this, and the reason for this, to the stack of things we ‘need to talk about’”, she raised her hand seeing that he was opening his mouth. “And I promise you we’ll broach that topic tomorrow. All right?”

He nodded. “Sure, but–”

“I’m not done yet”, she interrupted him. “Bear with me. I know we can’t do **anything** today”, her eyes shot towards Misato’s room, “but I want something from you”, she paused and took a deep breath. “Give me an **exact** description of what are you going to do to me tomorrow evening. Every step. Can you do that?” she finished in a husky voice, her face about as red as she wished her bottom would be right now.

Shinji’s face was just a tone paler than hers. “I think so?” he frowned. “Hmmm…” his eyes wandered towards the ceiling, his face ponderous. Asuka could feel the butterflies in her stomach start – and her mind slowly cleared of the emotional turmoil. ‘_So far, so good.’_

“Any preferences, choices?” he asked. “About count, strength?”

“No. Your fiat”, she quickly replied, eliciting another Flight of the Butterflies. _‘This is most likely stupid on my part if he chooses to enact the scenario… but fuck me if I don’t trust him…’_ she realized as she nervously shifted on the bed.

“Okay, I think I have it”, he smiled a nervous smile after a minute or so. “Ready?”

“Hit me”, she replied, pulling her legs up to sit on her side.

“Okay… You would come to my room, as you u-usually do, with your b-bag, containing the s-strap and the g-gag”, he started, his voice uncertain. “I would command you to put–”

“Do it”, she demanded.

“Huh? What?” he tilted his head. “We can’t–”

Asuka shook her head. “Speak the commands. Don’t worry, I won’t follow… today”, she reassured him.

“Okay… ‘Put the bag down, give me the strap, and put the gag in’”, he tried, the command spoken in a slightly different voice. It came out surprisingly smooth. Asuka was listening and nodding softly, her face rapt.

“Once you followed that, I would make you… well. ‘Bare your b-bottom, Asuka, and assume the position’”, he commanded. “I would wait until you di-did that”, he had to pause as the imagination unhelpfully gave him the image of Asuka’s bare bottom, waiting for his ministrations. Asuka kept her eyes on him while unwittingly shifting from a sitting to a kneeling position on her bed.

“Go on”, she demanded.

“A-afterwards, I would make sure you are in the right position, press the strap to your bottom, and… and strike the first blow”, he resumed.

Asuka closed her eyes. She could imagine that moment perfectly, and her body was reacting accordingly right now. It was, of course, a far softer reaction in comparison to what would have happened when the situation was a real one – but the knotted stomach and the soft shivers were there. She strongly suspected that the wetness was, too.

_ ‘Well, mission accomplished, now I’ll think of nothing else. I suppose I should thank him and send him on his merry way…’ _ she concluded, perfectly aware that this was not going to happen. The moment was there, and she was not going to just break the mood.

“I would give you twenty hits, strong, interspaced by a few seconds each”, he explained, his voice smoothing out; she shivered again. “That would be the punishment for the surprise visit. Then, I would check on you. If everything was fine, I would carry on to pu-punish you for today’s outburst – that would be ten strong blows, administered in the same, interspaced way. Then it would be over”, he concluded.

Asuka’s breath was deliberately slow, trying to calm her pounding heart. She did not even try to speak.

“Oh, no, sorry”, Shinji corrected, clearly having forgotten something. “I would give you five more strong blows for your coarse language. And then, if you were fine…” he paused while a small smile appeared on his face. “I think I would ask you if you want a softer finish, giving you a moment to decide. If you didn’t nod in that time, it would be over. If you did… that would be twenty, soft and slow.”

Asuka’s gaze was anything but sane.

“Afterwards… I would say ‘Remove your gag and come to me’, and I would hug you until you cried it out, giving you all the time and attention you needed”, he smiled again. “Then, we would share the bed and you could finally–”

“Shinji”, she managed through her clenched throat.

“Yes?” he asked, his smile gone.

“Hug me, and leave. It’s… not… it’s fine, so… don’t worry, but… leave. Now”, she demanded.

Surprised, he stood up, gave her a hug – a hug she reciprocated with a fierceness of a young bear – and turned to leave.

“Thank you”, a whisper followed him. “Don’t… mind the… sounds. I’ll be fine”, she said, this time with conviction.

“Goodnight, Asuka”, he whispered as he left.

There was no answer. But something was telling him it was not a bad thing; with his conscience clear and his worries alleviated, he could finally go to sleep.

Well, at least after taking care of one particular standing issue.

***

_ Saturday morning _

“Break me”. Asuka demanded. “Make me cry, force me to admit I can’t take it anymore, and then hold me until I cry it out. And then do anything you want with me, stop only when I say the word.”

A few tense moments passed, after which her reflection did not answer. She let out a sigh.

“Like hell I’m going to ask him that”, she shook her head. “And like hell he’s going to get there himself.”

_ ‘Would be neat, though…’ _ a dreamy thought came despite the resignation. _‘Well, perhaps except the last part’_, she realized in a more sober train of thought._ ‘Let’s take it one step at a time. Even giving him a free choice could be too much for him’_, she mused._ ‘**I** can handle that, I can handle anything, but let’s not scare him too early’_, she concluded._ ‘On the other hand… he had no problem with doing it when describing the scene…’ _second thoughts crept in her reasoning. _‘Argh. It’s simple! One step at a time!’_ she tried to convince herself. It worked only partially – memories from yesterday, still quite sharp in her mind, were not very helpful.

Her yesterday’s plan for distraction worked quite well and resulted in her anxiety becoming buried beneath anticipation and arousal. Of course, there were consequences of that, but she could handle those. _‘Like a good mathematician, I transformed the problem to one previously solved’_, she grinned at her reflection; she was in a relatively good mood from everything that happened. His description of the scene was not perfect, but it was sufficiently vivid and detailed enough for her to get into the mood. _‘And it’s what is going to play out tonight…’_ she smiled to herself. _‘I wonder if he will be brave enough to do everything he–’_

“Asuka, breakfast is ready!” Shinji’s voice sounded across the apartment. “We’re going to be late or you’re going to be hungry if you don’t hurry!”

“Coming, coming!” she yelled back. She was sure about one thing: no matter what changes would come between them, Shinji-made breakfasts should remain a constant.

***

“Asuka, you remember you have cleaning duty today?” Hikari Horaki asked when they were almost done with their lunches. The Class Representative, as usual, was eager to ensure that things remained in order she put them in.

Asuka scowled. “Damn it”, she grumbled. “You’re right”, she agreed. _‘Fuck me. I forgot that. That means I’m going to be home later… not that we can start very early, we must wait for Misato to leave, but if this closes the window of opportunity… I’m going to murder somebody. And this somebody has a very specific **name**’_, she decided.

“Do you want me to move him”, Hikari asked in a low voice as she let her eyes move discreetly towards Shinji, “to today’s slot? He could help you, and you could talk…”

Asuka frowned. It was unusual for Hikari Ordnung Muss Sein Horaki to offer a change without at least a death in the family as a justification – so she must have treated her attempts at matchmaking very seriously. Asuka considered the offer – that would mean time alone with Shinji, without the class, without Misato, without anyone disrupting them, in a room full of interesting objects like wooden rulers of various thickness and size–

She caught herself in time not to make any sound, but not soon enough not to have her face turn red. A quick thigh rub told her that it was not the only thing she was late for. _‘Fuck.’_

“Shikinami-san, are you all right?” Inquisitor Horaki, or perhaps Apothecary Horaki, inquired. “You seem to be feverish way too often recently, perhaps you should go to the nurse?”

Asuka let out a heavy sigh. “I’m **fine**, Horaki-san. I’m not running a fever, I’m just a bit sleepless from all that studying. I’ll just sleep in tomorrow and it’ll be all fine and dandy”, she finished with venom dripping off her words.

“Of course, Shikinami-san. Just making sure”, the Class Rep smiled her dutiful smile, closed her bento box, and slid it into her bag. “So, should I make this little… change in arrangements?” she winked. This one gesture, along with a change of tone, made Asuka more uncomfortable than the whole conversation beforehand.

Asuka shook her head. “No, thank you. I’d rather have him make food so I have something warm when I get back”, she replied, trying to keep her face straight. _‘Well, it’s not a **lie**. Having a hot dinner waiting for me is… pleasant. Especially when he is there to serve it.’_

An entirely unhelpful image of Shinji serving her a proper dinner while he was dressed in just an apron flashed in her mind. She squashed it as quickly as she could, but it was already too late: her face, slowly returning to her natural pale tone, flashed red again. 

“I think you really should go to the nurse, Shikinami-san”, Hikari insisted.

Asuka growled. “If I’m not better after this class, I will. Okay?” she suggested. _‘Of course, not a word about releasing me from cleaning duty. “Only in death does duty end”, right?’_

Hikari nodded. “Sure. And don’t worry about–” her further words were interrupted by the teacher’s arrival – an event invariably turned her command-the-class autopilot mode.

Asuka sighed in relief. That was one problem less for her.

Regrettably, another pressing problem required a skilled and eager hand – and a bit of privacy. While the former was readily available, the latter was not, at least not until she got home – and likely past that.

_ ‘But once he’s done with me…’ _ she grinned. _‘Then, all bets are off. Maybe he’d be willing not to just **hear** but to **watch**, too?’_

Twenty seconds later she was driving her pen into her thigh in a futile attempt to distract herself. This was going to be a long afternoon.

***

The way home felt really awkward for Asuka. It was not because of her current mood; while the issue of her arousal – driven by unhelpful images and amplified by anticipation – was still unhandled, she managed to push it to the back of her mind.

The real issue was something else: however she wanted to deny this, she was hurrying home to see **him**. Of course, the hot – and delicious – food was also important, just as much as the promised activities – but she actually missed **him**.

_ ‘For fuck’s sake. I’m hopeless’ _ , she realized, jumping out of the bus in a hurry. _‘He’s an antithesis of almost everything I would seek in a man… well, except for one thing, cooking. Well, two things: cooking and intelligence. Cooking, intelligence, and a strong arm; three things.’_

Despite her hurry, she stopped in her tracks; her palm met her face. _‘Really, this is some bad joke. But hey, even if Universe plays a joke at my expense, I am going to harvest this joke for good parts, at least.’_

Arriving at the building was a relief. Reaching the apartment’s door was a blessing. Entering the place itself was a pleasure.

The apartment was filled with the smell of Shinji’s cooking. “Oh, hi Asuka”, he smiled as she dropped her shoes and walked past the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in a minute!”

Asuka looked around. “Where’s Misato?”

Shinji shrugged. “Not sure, she’s not here yet. She didn’t call or anything. She’s likely just running late; you know how she is with her work.”

Asuka’s balled her fists. _‘If she changed her plans and this evening is fucked up …’_

Beep at the door broke her dark thoughts. “I’m home! Oh, did you just get back, Asuka?” Misato’s surprised voice – usually an annoyance for the redhead – suddenly fixed the girl’s mood.

“I had cleaning duty, courtesy of one Hikari Himmler”, Asuka tried to scowl, but her attempt at maintaining façade of annoyance was only half-successful. It was still more than enough to deceive a rather distracted Misato.

“Okay, you two”, Shinji started. “Can you change and be here in about five minutes?” he requested in a tone that made Misato raise an eyebrow, a tone that was both courteous and firm. While it was just a polite request, it was not one to be ignored. “Dinner is ready and after that time it will be either overcooked or getting cold”, he unnecessarily explained.

Asuka chuckled softly seeing Misato’s face and decided to follow Shinji’s directions. After all, this dinner was going to be the third best thing to happen to her today – the fourth being the breakfast.

But between the days-anticipated spanking and spending the night next to Shinji, she could not decide about the first best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, there was a choice between "publish now, but shorter" or "wait and publish the longest chapter to date". The spanking is coming soon, so stay tuned!


	11. Chapter 11

_Saturday evening_

“God, I thought she’d **never** leave”, Asuka sighed as the door closed behind the well-fed and date-ready Misato. When her footsteps stopped being audible outside, Asuka resumed in her normal voice. “I get that a girl can be fashionably late to a date, but if someone made me wait almost an hour, I would seriously consider if they’re serious about me, girl **or** boy.”

Shinji shrugged with a smile. “She’s always been like this. Well, since I remember. At least she’s equally tolerant when someone acts the same towards her.”

“Point for her for not being a hypocrite, still, it is annoying”, Asuka grumbled; within a second, her scowl turned into a grin. “So… she’s out of the picture. Let’s make the best of the night”, Asuka’s tone turned almost predatory.

“By your command”, Shinji bowed, his smile turning warmer. “I was thinking…” he started.

“That’s a new one”, she interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m having a déjà vu”, he raised his own in response.

“Are you saying my jokes are getting predictable?” she glared at him with narrowing eyes.

“Yes”, he simply stated. “Aren’t they?”

“If not for the threat of you adding even more atop my already noticeable sentence, I would have told you what I thought of that”, she scoffed.

“Oh? Are you afraid you could not handle a few more blows?” he asked; Asuka could swear his tone was kind of mocking. And even if it was just her impression, this surely stung.

_‘Is he doing this intentionally? Because if he is, this can’t be left unanswered’_, she realized. “I can take any number of your blows, dear Shinji”, she hissed with a challenge in her eyes. “So, I think my jokes are always fresh, and I kindly invite you to fuck off if you think otherwise”, she declared. “Also, I should kick your ass for even thinking I was afraid of something”, she finished.

“Well, that’s five more for the language”, Shinji retorted with a stoic face.

“And nothing for the ass-kicking threat?” Asuka sounded almost disappointed.

“Well, you can threaten me as much as you like, as long as you do it politely and stop at words and gestures”, Shinji replied. “Also…” he paused, unsure whether to continue.

The redhead raised her eyebrow. “Spit it out. We’re already talking too much and doing too little, so let’s get it over with.”

“If you want more… you can always ask”, he continued. “And I’ll surely ask you about that at the end of your punishment today.”

Asuka closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her heart and stomach were telling her what she thought of the idea – and she was now certain that sitting tomorrow was going to be **fun**. If possible at all.

“Okay”, she finally replied. “I’ll go with that. Are you done in that kitchen? And what exactly were you thinking before?”

“Ah. Yes”, he replied, drying his hands and hanging the towel back neatly. “We have the whole apartment for ourselves, and Misato’s unlikely to come back too soon. What do you think about… well, doing it **here**?” he gestured at the table. “For a change, or convenience? It will be easier to aim and swing, I think.”

Asuka pondered for a moment, more to conceal her enthusiasm for the act itself than for any other reason. “Why not”, she finally replied. “But we do lock the door… and then try to remember to unlock it.”

“I’ll put up a note somewhere visible”, Shinji replied with a smile. “Let me worry about the logistics.”

Asuka nodded. “Great. Now–”

“Now”, Shinji raised his hand. “Now, Asuka, please go to your room, change into the clothing you will be taking your punishment in, bring the implements, put them on the table, and wait for me”, he listed his orders in _that_ voice.

She stared at him for a few long seconds, trying to decide between murdering him for this insolence, obeying him for now, or demanding a proposal on the spot before obeying. Finally, she chose the most reasonable, middle option.

“As you command”, she replied just above a whisper, surprising herself with how natural it came out.

***

As Asuka disappeared behind the door of her room, Shinji was left alone with his thoughts. He quickly locked the door and put a neon-pink note in a visible place to unlock it later, then he started wondering whether he should change for the occasion – all previous spankings were administered when he was dressed for bed – but decided against it. After all, his attire was not exactly important, as long as it was not clearly conflicting with his role.

His role. Something he had difficulty both defining and accepting. Something he had been put into not exactly against his will and even with his cooperation, but also kind of unwittingly, and certainly unexpectedly. The role of someone who administers punishments, someone who causes pain, someone who gives orders and expects to be obeyed. The sources Asuka pointed him towards had names for those: Dom, master, sadist, top; labels that defined different aspects, labels that did overlap in many details, but also labels he could not see himself with, not in their entirety. He saw his role differently.

He simply did what felt right to him and what made Asuka happy. The fact that it involved causing her pain, giving her reasons why he is doing it – aside from the obvious ‘because you asked me to’ – and commanding her around to the degree necessary to maintain the ‘scene’, as it was usually named in the sources – this was secondary. He did enjoy those aspects – and that fact, in those moments when he thought about it, worried him – but he also enjoyed what came later: holding her in his arms, feeling the tension leave her body, letting her cry it out, taking care of her afterward… and falling asleep while holding her in his arms. The ‘aftercare’, as the sources described it. Those were the moments when Asuka was most willing to talk, most accessible emotionally, most relaxed.

Those were the moments she seemed **free**. Free from masks, bounds, and – sometimes to his unease – inhibitions. _‘I guess she’s just like that… she opens far more when she’d **made** vulnerable’_, he realized. _‘And she trusts me to make her like this…’_

He might not understand the reason behind this – but he was more than willing to provide her with that.

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami was in a condition she found herself quite often recently: she was anxious. Anxious because of what was about to happen, anxious about the talks they always had afterward, anxious about the whole situation – a situation she sometimes still had trouble understanding. A tiny voice that was nagging her since she entered her room was not helping, too.

That voice was trying to raise an issue: she was sent to her room and told to prepare for her punishment and, what was worse, bring the tools for it. This was something done to a disobedient child, not to an elite pilot – someone who could be considered closer to an adult than a child, no matter the age.

She focused on that voice and for a moment, she tried to squash it; but quickly enough she realized that listening to it was not making her feel bad, despite the entire situation being – at least objectively – humiliating. She was also aware that this thought by itself should disturb her, too – but for some reason, it did not.

This complexity would normally cause her mind to go on a wild chase by itself. Aware of that, she paused and took a deep breath. She followed it with a few more. _‘I might be a teenager, but I’m not some damn chick that can dissolve into goo the moment a boy looks at her promisingly! This is serious business!’_ she forced her mind back on track and moved into action.

She quickly removed her clothes and – after only negligible hesitation – both her bra and panties. Choosing her new attire was quick – a loose, simple sundress would do. While she might have been vain at times, she was also perfectly aware she was going to look like a mess pretty soon – and no amount of dress-up was going to change that. The dress was there just to provide _some_ cover for her body as she bared her soul, nothing more.

Retrieving the implements from the drawer was equally quick – her eyes stopped just for a second at the doll, unused for a few weeks already – before she took the strap and the broken gag. The latter made her growl; she was supposed to visit the leatherworker’s shop in the meantime, but other things kept getting in the way. In its current form, it would be of limited use: it worked passably when she was lying back, but to keep it in while standing, she had to pay attention to it – and she intended to have her attention focused on a very different part of her body.

Fortunately for her, her genius was not dampened by her nervousness: a few moves with a stapler fixed the implement enough to be useful for a little longer; Asuka conveniently ignored the fact that the stapler would likely need fixing afterward – and added a quick note in her to-do list to go to the shop.

Having collected everything and ready to face her impending fate, she left the room.

***

Shinji Ikari did not need much in the way of preparation. He just made sure nothing would interrupt them: the door was already secured, nothing was cooking anymore, and the blinds in the windows were rolled down. He just stood next to the table, smiling softly.

Suddenly, a thought appeared in his mind. _‘Hm. Am I doing this right? It’s her that was coming to me at all times, right? But this is a different situation… this is neutral ground.’_

Several other elements – taken mainly from sources Asuka sent him – joined the thought process. Soon enough a realization dawned on Shinji’s face and he quickly made his way to his room, leaving just a small crack as he slid the door close.

***

Asuka stepped into the living area and halted, confused. There was a noticeable lack of Shinji around – the chairs were put aside, there was a soft towel spread on the table, but the second most important component to the scene – the executor – was absent. Looking around, she approached the table placing the implements aside and looked at it critically. She noticed that it was a bit lower than the stacked boxes; she tried to position herself against it. _‘Hm, should not be a problem’_, she decided after a few adjustments. A moment later she realized her body was already primed for a blow; she straightened immediately. _‘Fuck. If this keeps going like this, I may start reacting like this to **him**. That would be… awkward’_, she grumbled internally as she took a deep breath in a vain attempt to slow her heartbeat down.

A voice sounded in the silence: “I assume this means you are ready, Asuka?”

***

Shinji, seeing Asuka emerge, waited for a short while, wondering what she would do; seeing her take the appropriate position made him shiver softly. He slid the door open as quietly as he could, took a quick look at the girl standing next to the table, and noticed her anxiety; was visible even with his limited ability to read her body language.

“Yes I am”, she managed in response to his question, her voice nervous. “Get to it”, she demanded.

His first reflex was to obey and tell her to assume the position – but something stopped him. A thought rather absurd, but not as absurd as it would seem a few weeks ago. He approached her in a few slow steps.

“This was almost rude, Asuka”, he started.

She turned to face him, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her eyes narrow. “So?”

Shinji took a deep breath and squashed his reflexive apologetic response with some effort. “I just don’t like when you are rude. If this is an attempt to get more out of me, all you need is to ask for it”, he paused. “After we’re done with the ‘punishment’ part.”

She pondered something for a moment, her eyes closed. “Okay”, she finally stated. “I am ready.”

He smiled. “Please assume the position, Asuka”, his voice changed, immediately eliciting the familiar reaction in Asuka. “And bare your bottom”, he managed without a stutter.

She obeyed, turning to the table without opening her eyes. A thought struck her, making her hesitate. The thought was absurd, but nagging. ‘_This is not enough. I want it all.’_

“Asuka?” the same voice sounded, still patient but definitely inquiring. “Why the delay?”

“Per-permission to take it in the nude”, she spoke in a voice that was not entirely her own and hesitated again. _‘Sir. ‘Permission to take it in the nude, sir’. This is how it was supposed to sound, right?’_ she thought to herself, close to speaking the final word – but not finding the courage to do so.

Shinji froze. Since the incident on Thursday evening, the image of Asuka’s nude form was returning to him far too often – mostly during his masturbation sessions. Those were times when he was anything but able to do anything else. On the other hand, he was reasonably certain he would maintain his composure enough to perform right now – assuming he focused on her bottom.

Finally, he took a deep breath and spoke up: “Permission granted. Undress, then.”

Asuka drew a sharp breath. Part of her mind hoped he would refuse, citing any reason – his need to focus, lack of necessity, or just plain refusal; after all, he did not need to explain himself.

But he agreed. He just agreed.

_‘Well, in for a penny, in for a pound’_, she realized. Reaching for the hems of her sundress, she felt her hands shaking. _‘Let’s hope I will not regret it.’_

***

Shinji tracked Asuka’s movements, unable to turn his eyes away from her form. When the dress went up past her hips, he swallowed; her naked bottom was a sight she was used to – more or less. When it went higher, he admired her waist and back, feeling increasingly guilty for staring. When she finally brought it over her head and tossed it on the table, he kind of knew he should look away or close his eyes – but he simply could not.

There was a profound difference between this moment and the sight he saw two days ago; initially, he could not point his finger on it, but the whole posture of the redhead was different. Soon, the realization came: back then, he felt confronted. Now, he felt in control.

He shook those thoughts off. This was no time for too much thinking: Asuka was waiting for him – surprisingly patiently – and there was no reason to keep her waiting. He took a deep breath and picked up the strap from the table, stealing yet another look of her. She did not seem to mind him looking; her eyes were focused on the wall.

“Asuka, you did not put your gag in”, he remarked.

“Fuck. Right”, she grabbed the questionably fixed piece from the table, stretched her mouth, put the ball in, and secured the strap, at the same time ignoring the fact that the staples were unpleasantly digging into her skin.

“I suppose that would be five more for the language”, Shinji smiled. “But as the punishment already began, technically speaking, I’m saving it for the next one.”

Asuka took a deep breath. _‘If he does not stop talking like this, he’ll need to mop the floor after we’re done’_, she realized, both amused and annoyed. _‘On second thought, he might need to do it anyway.’_

“That’s twenty, then ten, then ten again”, Shinji listed, causing her to shiver softly. “Twenty for your… surprise, ten for your outburst, and twice five for your language. All strong. Are you ready?”

Asuka nodded frantically and grunted under the gag. Shinji smiled.

The cold touch of leather against her bottom made her shiver.

_‘Here comes’_, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _‘Here comes all I need–”_

The strap moved away and came down a bare half-second later, along with the welcome sting and a wave of shivers that spread across Asuka’s entire body. She moaned loudly through the gag; her mind was filled with one thought.

_‘**More**.’_

***

The emptiness in Asuka’s mind was something that would have terrified her not long ago – but now, it was a familiar, wonderful, welcome feeling. Pain, warmth, suffering, pleasure, heat – all those were coming from her skin. Bliss, relief, pleasure, emptiness – all those were coming from her mind.

And it was far from over.

Twenty blows have fallen, each more painful than the one before. She knew – at least rationally – that each and every one of those blows carried about the same strength – but her subjective impression was quite different: each of them brought greater pain – and each of them was increasingly welcomed.

Her hands were resting on the table; remembering what happened to the box she used as support earlier, she was blessing Shinji’s foresight, as she was currently driving her nails in the towel he placed. _‘His attention to detail is scary. But it feels good, knowing that **someone** cares…’_

“Next series is ten, strong. Are you ready, Asuka?”

She nodded vigorously, taking a deep breath and trying not to shake. This was, depending on her later choices, halfway through the spanking – or just the beginning. She knew what choice she wanted to make – and hoped she would be strong enough to do so.

The strap rested against her bottom again; the cool leather pressed to hot skin. She let out a soft moan, audible through the gag. Suddenly, her face got redder and she felt the heat creep up to her ears. _‘Fuck. I hope he does not see it for what it is…’_

Rubbing her legs together would break her position, a very stupid thing to do when another blow was about to fall – but she did not need to do it to know how aroused she was. _‘God, what does this make me?’_ she thought, scared for a moment–

–before the first blow of the new series fell and made the doubts go away. She drew a rasping breath through the less-than-tight gag and managed a final thought: _‘I’ll worry about that later…’_

The next blow confirmed that line of thought, and soon she was not able to think about anything but the moment she was in.

***

“Do you need a pause?” he asked after the tenth – or, more accurately, thirtieth – blow landed and Asuka’s near-scream ended.

She shook her head. _‘Get to the last ones, you bastard, don’t make me wait, don’t make me **beg**, because I would beg right now, and I would be angry at you for that, and I would yell at you, and then you’d punish me for that and then–’_

“Ten more for your language: five for Thursday, five for today”, he reiterated, breaking her train of thoughts. “Please stick your bottom more, I don’t want your back to hurt”, he requested.

_‘Gods, ironic, isn’t it? He’s giving me so much pain that I might be **howling** when he’s done, but cares for my back to be fine… well, that’s how it is supposed to be, right?’_ she thought with an internal smile as she readjusted her position; after all, no matter how much she might have welcomed the blows, her body was still reflexively moving away at times.

Shinji nodded, seeing her reaction, and placed the strap against Asuka’s bottom once more. This time, it elicited just a shiver as her body was already anticipating the pain.

And the pain came, just as expected, and with pain came the emptiness.

***

A howl echoed in the room, barely stifled by the ill-fitting gag. Asuka clawed at the towel, her whole body in a tense arch, her head thrown back, her eyes mad.

Shinji’s thoughts were in minor turmoil. On one hand, Asuka sounded disturbing, enough for Shinji to consider stopping the whole scene several times already. On the other, he had to admit that the sight before his eyes, despite its horrifying qualities, was a sight of beauty – especially in the context of all this happening because Asuka wanted it to happen.

What actually disturbed him more was the realization he was unable to take his eyes off her: he could see every tensing muscle under her skin; he could behold the perfect silhouette, presented in its full glory in Asuka’s current position; he could stare at the ideal skin, a sharp contrast between the pale and the blood-red; finally, he could admire the less tangible, but no less real strength and will that let her last until now.

This was a spectacle of beauty, disrupted only by a tiny gnawing voice that was telling him that enjoying this was wrong.

He took a deep breath and squashed that voice. _‘She **wanted** me to do this to her. She wanted me to **watch**. She wanted me to make her **happy**’_, he reiterated._ ‘And I did.’_

He watched as she slowly returned to her position, breathing heavily. He knew that he was supposed to ask her whether she would take another twenty – but his instinct, slowly forming over the last few weeks, was telling him she was not of the sound mind to answer this right now.

He put the strap down in her field of view and cautiously reached to undo the gag. Asuka’s eyes were tracking his movements, but she made no attempt to stop him. He unclasped the leather band, gently touched her cheek, and removed the gag ball once she opened her mouth wider; she gasped for air as he did, and her breathing became less labored. With a smile, he handed her a box of tissues. She quickly wiped her face while remaining in her place.

“Do you wish for more, Asuka?” he asked in a gentle voice.

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami was in a peculiar state of mind. She felt more exposed than ever in her life, even considering the lab tests she had to go through quite often during her training – but she also felt more liberated than ever in her life. She simply relished in that state; she was dimly aware that the boy that led her here was present, that he was saying some words – but it did not matter now. She felt the pain radiating from her skin; she was aware that she was still drooling from the gag; she was certain that she was dripping wet; she knew that at this very moment, she looked like a mess – but none of this mattered, either. She was feeling almost ecstatic – and she wanted this state to last forever. She wanted to just stand here, her hands still on the soft towel, her knees shaking, her mind hollow, her soul filled with bliss. But even in this state, she recognized one thing was missing.

“Touch me”, she heard herself saying in a husky, almost unrecognizable voice. “Now. Please.”

***

Shinji stared in confusion for a second, making out the words she just spoke. Having comprehended them, he smiled, stepped behind Asuka, and embraced her at her waist, softly pulling her body to press against his. She reacted immediately, clinging to him as much as she could with her back, one of her legs reaching behind and clumsily trying to intertwine itself with his.

“Asuka, wait”, he requested as he realized this could easily make them fall down. He released his grip on her waist and took her hand. She looked at him quizzically.

“Come”, he smiled at her as he led her towards the couch. He laid down on it, his back against the armrest and he softly pulled her towards him. She complied, careful to rest her weight on the front of her body. She wrapped her arm around his neck and rested her head on his chest, while his hands encircled her waist.

For some reason, all this felt perfectly natural to her.

Her heavy breath eased and time slowed down.

***

“Asuka…” Shinji finally broke the silence, careful not to disturb the redhead’s position. “Are you all right?”

She did not reply for a while; finally. she took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “What do you think, Shinji?” she managed, her voice still husky. “I’m happier than… oh, do you really need to ask?” she giggled. “I think you can smell it, can’t you?” she added, untangling her hands from his neck and lifting her body to semi-face him.

“That’s… not what I was talking about”, he replied despite the sudden embarrassment evidenced by a blush that was slowly creeping towards the ignition point; Asuka smirked at the sight. “You… didn’t cry much. You usually do… after.”

She shook her head, her face showing a clear ‘you don’t get it’ message, and shifted her position suddenly; Shinji was not sure how this happened, but within three seconds, instead of having Asuka in his embrace, he had her standing front of him, staring into his eyes and making no attempt to cover her nudity. Shinji was trying his best to maintain eye contact; to her satisfaction, he was not doing well in that regard.

“I only cry it out in the end, don’t I?” she retorted, her voice surprisingly chirpy. He could swear she was glowing. “And… I don’t think we’re done, yet”, she grinned. _‘Let’s skip the long ‘I’m far too happy to cry’ explanation, shall we? He… he may misunderstand it.’_

A wave of butterflies ran through her stomach as she spoke those words. She knew she was pushing it, she knew her body was at its limits, and she was not sure she was going to be able to take it – but the sensations were slowly fading and she knew that the mood would fade along with it. Asuka wanted them to last longer – the cost of that be damned.

Shinji nodded. “You want the soft finish, correct?” he asked in a cautious voice as he straightened into a sitting position.

“Yes. Please. I…” she paused. _‘Aw, hell. Let’s keep it in the mood.’_

She dropped to her knees in front of him, pressing her well-spanked bottom to her heels; this elicited a soft shiver as the well-spanked bottom rubbed against the rougher skin.

“Can I have a request…” she pondered the last word for two seconds. “Shinji?”

Shinji nodded, surprise clear in his eyes; he was clearly not certain how to react to Asuka’s body language. “Yes… Asuka?”

“Thank you for your punishment”, she said slowly. “Can I now have twenty of your soft ones? As a reward… for being brave?” she finished, a part of her mind aware of how infantile, or even cheesy, it might have sounded. _‘If he laughs now, I’ll kill him. Repeatedly. With my bare hands.’_

Fortunately for her, Shinji maintained his straight face; his smile, once it emerged, was actually mean than anything else.

“You earned it, Asuka. Assume the position…” he commanded. “Slowly”, he added without thinking, simultaneously surprised and scared of his own daring.

She narrowed her eyes at him as his command shot another burst of nervousness through her stomach. _‘Fuck. He wants to see it all’_ she realized. _‘Ah, what gives. He wants to watch? Let him watch…’_

She stood up slowly, relying on her leg muscles only, watching with satisfaction as Shinji’s eyes slid down her body, his pupils widening even more. She turned around even slower and started to walk towards the table, feeling his glare follow her all the way. She smirked. _‘Well, well. I still **do** have **some** power over you, don’t I?’_

She rested her hands on the damaged towel as she saw him approach in the corner of her eye; he was not even pretending to keep his eyes on her face. _‘Not that it would be much…’_ she realized as she set her feet apart in a braced position, fully aware of how much she was exposing herself once more. _‘He could do **anything** to me right now and I would have let him, maybe even thanked him afterward. Let’s hope he doesn’t know that’_, she realized with a tinge of fear in the back of her mind.

It took some effort on her part to ignore the voice in her mind that was telling her that her actual hopes were quite the opposite.

***

Shinji, having just once more feasted his eyes on Asuka’s perfect form as she unexpectedly obliged his request to go back to the table _slowly_ – and clearly added _seductively_ atop of that, too – rose from the couch and approached the table. He took a good look at Asuka’s bottom; the best way to describe it was ‘raw’. The skin was not cut in any place and she was not bleeding, but it was certainly damaged, patches of white visible atop the bloody bruises. He was aware that the reasonable thing would be to stop here and now – but then he recalled Asuka’s face from just a moment ago; this the first time she was so openly pleading, almost begging. Refusing this would mean rejecting this openness – and even his limited understanding of Asuka’s emotions suggested that the consequences of such rejection could be dire.

And so he did the only thing he could do: he picked up the strap and took his place at her side. As she put the gag in, he pressed the strap against her bottom and smiled at her. “Ready?”

Asuka closed her eyes and nodded as she braced for the impact.

***

_‘I guess I can forget about sitting for the next two days’_, Asuka realized about five blows into her last series. _‘Oh, this is going to be a lot of fun’_, she grinned internally as the tenth blow fell. By the fifteenth, she was not able to think about anything except the pain and the dimly recognized fact that she had been hitting the table with her fist.

When the twentieth fell and the assault ceased, she shot a look aside at Shinji. “That’s all. You may–”

She did not wait for him to finish. She just let her knees give in and slid down.

***

Shinji knew Asuka tended to be a bit wobbly after the spanking, but she never saw her collapse completely. Only by sheer reflex he was able to put his palm between her head and the table’s edge. Dropping the strap and holding the protective hand in place, he kneeled next to her and embraced her with his free arm. She was already sobbing.

Reaching behind her head, he quickly removed the gag, placed himself behind her in the floor, and pulled her into his embrace, careful not to put any weight on her bottom; her sobs grew louder and quickly turned into a full-fledged cry.

_‘That’s more familiar’_, he relaxed and tightened his embrace. _‘I just hope I didn’t go too far…'_

***

“Shinji…” a husky whisper broke Shinji out of his contemplation.

“Yes, Asuka?” he replied at a similar volume.

“I… I need to hit the bathroom”, Asuka admitted sheepishly.

“Oh”, he blushed and released his grasp. “Sure, let me just–”

His further words got lost as he stumbled, trying to get up on his numb legs. _‘How long have we been like this?’_

Asuka giggled as she watched him trying to regain his stability – but this quickly ceased as she tried to get up and encountered the same problem. She reflexively tried to sit and stretch her legs; this had resulted in a loud hiss and equally loud curse.

“Fuckkk… you certainly did your job well, you sadist”, she kept hissing as she rolled to her stomach, supported herself on her arms, and tried to stretch her legs. Shinji was doing his best not to stare at the spectacle in front of him – but it was an uphill and already lost battle. Fortunately for him, Asuka either failed to see his stare – or, more likely, simply did not care. Thinking that she could _welcome_ it was still too brave for his mind, though, even if it was closest to the truth.

“Do you need help, Asuka?” he finally managed to ask.

“No thank you”, she growled. “You ‘helped’ enough already”, she grinned. “I– I’ll be fine”, she finally managed to get up and made a few unstable steps. Halting at the bathroom door, she turned back to look at him – and smirked as she saw him avert his eyes.

She approached him in a few steps, her smirk still present. “Shinji… you can look. I… think I want you to”, she admitted softly, her voice just a bit shaky. “And… thank you”, she whispered as she embraced him. He reciprocated immediately, his hands resting on her back, absentmindedly tracing the lines of her muscles.

“Will you be… staying in my bed?” he asked carefully.

“If you will have me?” she replied, her voice softening with every word.

“Anytime, Asuka”, he admitted.

Seconds passed as they remained in the hug.

“Shinji…” she started.

“Yes?” he whispered softly.

“Let me go, unless you want to mop the floor more than it is already necessary”, she spoke in an insistent, but definitely amused voice.

“What? Ah, right”, he released his grasp. “Sure, sorry!”

“I promise to be quick”, she declared as she skipped towards the bathroom. “Five minutes, then it’s yours!” came already from behind the door.

Shinji just stood there for a few seconds before realizing the barely hidden subtext of Asuka’s words; he went red immediately. _‘Well, a matter of course, I guess…’_ he admitted to himself, realizing how strong of an erection he had – and what images would be going through his mind as he would be taking care of it in a few minutes.

_‘Awkward or not, at least we have **that** discussed… Gods, I never realized trying to get along would require so much talking – and about so many odd things’_, he sighed. Shaking his head, he turned to the post-scene kitchen. There was some cleaning to do – and taking care of this would at least grant him a temporary reprieve from his thoughts.

***

_About half an hour later_

A soft knock, followed by Shinji’s permission to enter, allowed Asuka to slide in carefully to his room. Shinji smiled a welcoming smile.

“Okay, before we get to anything… You cleaned up?” Asuka asked, her demeanor cautious.

Shinji nodded. “All is taken care of, Asuka, don’t worry. The door is secured but not locked, Misato will be able to get in. I left her something to eat on the table, but I don’t think she’ll be hungry. And her room is open.”

“Good”, Asuka nodded in concert. “I put a dummy in my bed in case she’s careful enough to look in”, she giggled.

Shinji tilted his head. “An actual dummy? Where did you–”

“No, stupid”, she chuckled. “That’d be too expensive. I made a makeshift one, pillow, some clothes, and all. Should fool a drunk, right?” she smiled.

Shinji frowned for a moment, then nodded again. “Let’s hope she’ll be too tired to even try. If she looks in here…”

Asuka shrugged. “I doubt it. She usually returns dead drunk from those dates. And Kaji might be a jerk, but he’s not as nosy as she is. So… we’re safe. I think.”

“Sure”, he agreed. “Come to bed, then”, he smiled.

“Ha, one step at a time, Shinji. You’ve got a tough decision to make”, she smirked. “You’ve earned the right to see me in all my glory”, she started, eliciting a blush from him. “So, do you want me to keep my shirt on… or do you want to have a gorgeous naked girl in your bed?”

Shinji took a deep breath. His reason was struggling with his desire. The outcome was easy to predict.

“Undress, Asuka, and join me”, he commanded.

_‘Yes, sir! Do you wish me to come crawling on my hands and knees, too?’_ a treacherous train of thoughts emerged in Asuka’s mind. She tried to squash it, but while she managed not to speak it out loud, it refused to leave her mind. Pushing it aside, she reached for the hem of her nightshirt and removed it slowly before kneeling next to Shinji’s futon. He raised the covers and smiled. His eyes were still darting towards her breasts, of course, but his composure was better than before – no doubt a result of spending about half an hour in the bathroom. _‘Considering that I was not holding back vocally, he had more than enough fuel for his imagination…’_ Asuka sighed internally. She knew this was conduct unbecoming of an innocent maiden – and likely an officer, too – but at this stage, she no longer cared. She simply slid under the covers, taking care not to hurt her bottom. Feeling a warm hand sliding carefully across her waist reassured her everything was in order; feeling a familiar pressure against her hurting bottom confirmed that perception.

A warm smile crept on her face as she settled in. All was right with the world.

***

“Asuka…” Shinji started, his voice concerned.

The redhead shook of the encroaching haze of sleep. “Yes?”

“I thought you wanted to talk”, he continued.

“Oh. Right”, she realized. “I… I promised you we would. Right.”

“If you’re too tired–”

“I’m **fine**, Shinji”, she growled. “Just… relaxed, okay? It’s your doing. But you’re right, we should talk”, she let out a sigh. “About my outbursts, first, I guess…” she begrudgingly admitted. “It’s complicated. Kind of.”

“I… Do you agree that I have the right to… punish you for those?” he asked. “Like I did for the last one?”

Asuka considered her options as she was carefully turning to face him. On one hand, saying ‘yes’ to that would be admitting she had something unthinkable: a flaw. On the other, she knew that this kind of behavior was sometimes problematic – not to mention, she had already accepted punishment for that today.

“Shinji… I know I am often angry; this is how I am, and will never apologize for that”, she started slowly, her voice firm, her eyes locking with his. “And… I know you hate that. I mean, not _hate_, but…”

Shinji chuckled. “It’s… not a wrong word. It’s just that when you hate things, you smash them, right? When I hate things, I avoid them”, he smiled.

Asuka glared at him. “Fair point. Listen, I don’t want to pull out an entire book on psychoanalysis here, okay? Just… one thing”, she paused. “There’s something that is driving me crazy, had been driving me crazy for the last few weeks, and… and once this is resolved, I think I will be less… well. Angry. At least towards you.”

“Can I help you with that?” he asked.

_‘What are you, stupid?’_ a thought ran through her mind; she contained it. This was not a moment for being pointlessly aggressive, especially with the sensations still provided by her bottom still showed quite well how it would end. “I don’t know”, she replied. “To answer your previous question… yes, I accept that as a punishable offense. Just… don’t abuse it, okay? I have the right to be angry. Every right. And so do you, if I remember correctly.”

Shinji smiled sadly. “I… I react differently.”

“I’ve noticed”, she retorted. “Well, your way, my way. So… yeah, if you feel I overdid it, you have the right to… punish me”, she declared, surprised that this felt perfectly sincere and right. Still, something in her mind was screaming: _‘What am I doing? Have I gone insane? Why am I giving him the right to decide anything for me?’_

She decided to ignore that screaming. She was in too good of a mood to let it ruin anything. “But as said: don’t abuse it, or it will end up badly”, she finished.

“You have the word, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I guess this will have to do”, she replied, a hint of uncertainty in her voice. “Oh well”, she sighed. “It will do.”

Silence descended upon them as their hug tightened and their legs intertwined. Shinji’s blush that somehow dimmed since Asuka’s form was covered, returned as he felt her wetness against his thigh. She just smiled in response and went through the usual rub-flesh-against-flesh-and-enjoy-the-reaction routine.

Minutes passed before they settled in.

“Shinji…” Asuka started once more, her voice more uncertain than before.

“M?” he acknowledged in a soft murmur.

“Do you trust me?” she asked out of the blue.

Not surprised by a serious question, he slowly raised his head and rested it on his hand. “Asuka, we go in battle together and we share something that could get us in serious trouble if revealed… what makes you think I **don’t** trust you?”

She took a deep breath. “Just… making sure. Okay. I am going to ask you a question, and you better think well before you answer”, she carefully rolled to the other side to face him and adjusted her position to match his. Their eyes met.

“Of course?” he replied matter-of-factly.

“Who am I to you?”

Shinji’s lips narrowed to a thin line, his eyes turning thoughtful. There were, of course, numerous answers to that question, of course: friend, fellow pilot, submissive, friend… but he knew that Asuka did not tell him to ‘think well’ just to give a first one. And she was looking at him, waiting with surprising patience.

Finally, he took a deep breath and spoke: “You’re the closest person I ever had… first one I think I can really trust”, he said slowly. “I don’t think there’s a single word for that. I–”

Asuka suddenly put a finger on his lips. “Thank you”, she whispered. He noticed her voice was nervous, but he could have sworn her eyes gleamed with joy. “Listen… I’ll get back to that, okay? I promise. I just need to think about it.”

He nodded carefully in response.

“And I… I know we need to discuss that. I mean, really, really need to discuss that. But… I don’t want either of us to fuck this up, okay?” she continued in an uncharacteristically uncertain voice. “But for now… you’re the same to me. The first person I could really trust. And you’re the closest I have to…” she trailed off. “Well, the closest one I have. That I ever had, I suppose”, she sighed. “And you better not fuck it up, too, because while I’m quite serene right now, I **will** kill you if you do.”

Shinji smiled and took the hand that was silencing him in his own, squeezing it hard. “I won’t”, he smiled.

Asuka closed her eyes; her body was shaking softly. A while ago, Shinji would have asked her whether she was all right – or wondered what to do. Now, he just dropped his head back to the pillow and embraced Asuka with both arms, pulling her as close to him as he could. Her tears on his cheek were something he knew well; allowing himself a few was also not out of place, too.

It just felt right.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised an update in May 2020 and the update in May 2020 you will have. This is a result of chapter 12. undergoing chapter mitosis; the next part is coming as chapter 13. in a week or two, as it needs one more scene and some polishing.

_Sunday morning_

The morning came as it always did – gray and unpleasant. Asuka woke up early; her returns to reality were usually slow and irritating, but Shinji’s presence usually mitigated the ‘irritating’ part. But there was something else to the current awakening: her body was reporting an unusual sensation.

It was not about the presence of a warm body – she was used to that, more than she was willing to admit. It was not about the pressure against her bottom as said warm body was spooning her from behind – this was something she anticipated and enjoyed, treating as a welcome compliment. It was not about snoring coming from behind two doors – this was something she knew and treated as an inevitable annoyance.

It was about a hand resting on her chest, or more precisely – on her breast.

Her first reflex, ingrained by her upbringing and latent social mores, was to raise hell – and apply direct and merciless violence. She off-handedly squashed that reaction and let her still-hazy mind process this naturally. Having concluded this was Shinji’s hand – as any alternative bordered on impossibility – her mind kept processing.

First, this was unlikely this was anything but an accident. His hand was firmly around her waist when they were falling asleep, without any sign of moving, and he had always been careful not to stray.

Second, however she reacted, she had to be discreet. Misato – whose return she heard and ignored deep in the night – was most likely still asleep, but any louder noise could rouse her. And that included Shinji’s panicked reactions.

Third, the sensation itself was… pleasant. Her body was telling her there was no reason to react at all. Her mind was presenting disparate opinions about the act, ranging from ‘unacceptable audacity’ to ‘welcome initiative’. She sighed heavily: at this hour, she could not expect her brain to provide anything else but the basics.

Having processed those three factors, she decided that while the whole situation felt good, it was high time to leave. A quick assessment of her position allowed for an agile disentanglement – a maneuver she executed with grace and style.

For a moment, she stood there, looking at still-sleeping Shinji.

_‘He looks so peaceful’_, she realized. _‘Hard to believe he could act so mercilessly… or maybe he’s not merciless?_’ the musings continued. _‘Just… dutiful? Helpful? Maybe it’s his way of saying “I care”?’_

She quickly shook it off – this was not the right time for this kind of introspection. Having checked the perimeter through the door crack, she quickly made her way to her room and fell on her bed. The hour was still early, after all, and not getting enough sleep was detrimental to a good mood, not to mention – good looks.

She smiled to herself as she slid into a shallow, but relatively restful sleep. _‘This has been a good evening, a good night… and a neat morning. Let’s see what the day and the week bring’,_ she thought before her mind shut down.

***

Of course, no morning was without its flaws.

“You’re surprisingly happy, Asuka”, Misato noticed off-handedly, but with a clear note of envy. She was clearly hungover and far from happy despite claiming that yesterday’s evening had been a success.

“Fo?” Asuka turned from the kitchen counter to face the older woman, pulled the toast-with-jam out of her mouth, and tried again. “So? Am I not allowed to be happy sometimes?” she narrowed her eyes at her guardian. With some surprise, Shinji noticed that she did not use her unpleasant, artificially high pitch of voice she sometimes used to torment hungover Misato with.

Misato raised her eyebrow. “Sure you’re ‘allowed’. It’s just so rare I think I should mark this in the calendar”, she quipped.

Asuka swallowed the last bite of the toast, stuck her tongue out, grabbed the shopping list pen, and strode towards the unsuspecting wall calendar. Soon, a doodle of something – that could be seen as a flower if a particularly charitable observer squinted – adorned the today’s box. “Good enough for you, Colonel Grumpy?” Asuka prodded, her voice still mercifully low.

Misato raised her eyebrows in genuine surprise. Shinji, on the other hand, hitherto busy with making further toasts in an attempt to give Asuka a feel-at-home breakfast, needed just one glance to burst out in laughter.

Asuka glared at him. “Tell me you don’t like it and you will suffer.”

“It surely reflects your mood, Asuka”, he offered, trying hard not to laugh. “I admire the… free artistic expression.”

Asuka kept glaring. “Glib, but I know what you are thinking. But points for not panicking”, she huffed. “Could you hurry with those toasts? I’m still hungry!”

Shinji raised an eyebrow and for a moment, it seemed that he wanted to say something. Instead, he shook his head. “As you demand, Captain!” he replied. “I will do my best to intimidate the toaster to work faster!” he quipped, eliciting a raised eyebrow from the Colonel.

Asuka rolled her eyes. “You better”, she said off-handedly, still unable to conceal her latent smile. _‘God, I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I think I can get used to this kind of mornings’_, she thought. _‘I just wish I could hug him now… But not with her here’_, she glared at Misato, whose only fault was her presence in this very place. _‘I really wish I could show how I feel for him… on the other hand, I guess I should figure it out first’_, she chuckled internally. _‘Whatever it is… I’m not letting it go’_, she concluded as she turned her back to Misato and smiled at the boy who just dropped two more toasts on her plate.

***

_Sunday evening_

“Another beer, Misato?” Shinji asked innocuously as he set the bowl with the unfamiliar-looking dish in front of Misato.

“Hm… very thoughtful of you, Shin-chan”, Misato started with a slightly slurry voice. “But I think I’ll wait until I’m done with supper.”

“Of course”, he smiled at his guardian. “Enjoy your food!”

About twenty seconds and two bites of the dish later, Misato shook her head. “On second thought, I wouldn’t mind one right now…”

Shinji eyed Asuka with a smile as the redhead was already executing her sleight of hand, doubling the alcohol content of the can in one swift move before moving to place the can in front of the older woman. Misato gave her no chance for that – she grabbed it from her hand and took a swig.

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other behind her back. Asuka’s smile was clearly satisfied; Shinji’s was a mix of surprise, guilt, and satisfaction.

***

_Earlier that day_

“Oh. Fuck.”

Asuka glared at her reflection. “Fuck”, she repeated, noticing a scab forming about two centimeters from her lips. _‘I should’ve expected that… I guess staples were **not** the best solution. Tomorrow after school, then. Pity Mr. Yamaoka’s workshop doesn’t work on Sunday…’_

She shook her head. _‘Never mind. I can explain that away as “teenage skin problems” and… hm, I can even go get better facial cleaner even now, that’d be a good pretense…’_

A plan started to form in her head, a simple yet elegant strategy that would allow her to kill a few birds with one stone. _‘But – first things first. I came here for a reason’_, she decided as she finished undressing, put her hair up, and reached for the showerhead.

About twenty minutes later, Asuka Langley Shikinami emerged from the bathroom refreshed, relaxed, and wearing a smile that should make at least two people wary.

***

Shinji was spending his Sunday in the usual way when he was not out with his buddies – by studying. He was quite content – since the study sessions with Asuka started, his grades and – more importantly – his understanding of the material improved greatly. He regretted that he could not study with her right now; he tried to find a way to come out about this secret, but after hiding it from Misato for so long, he was not sure whether they could fool her with ‘we are just starting to do that routine’. They simply worked together too well.

He let out a sigh. He was not used to the life of secrecy; having to lie to – well, not exactly _lie to_, more like _deceive_, but still – his guardian, the closest person he had to a mother, bothered him more than a bit.

Asuka, on the other hand, seemed to have no problems with the secrecy, deception, and even outright manipulation. On one hand, Shinji was sometimes disturbed by her attitude towards their caretaker – but on the other, he was glad she took care of that, directing his actions where his involvement was needed.

In the end, as his slowly improving rationalization stepper motor concluded, he was aware that if she knew even a small percent of what was going on between them, Misato would certainly take steps – and those steps would brutally end the odd-but-surely-great thing he shared with Asuka. And this was something he could not bear.

His ponderings were suddenly interrupted by an odd scratching sound, coming from the door. Turning his head towards the source, he noticed a small piece of paper slid between the panels. _‘What is going on?’_ he furrowed his brow as he went to pull it out.

‘Hello, Third. I have a plan and I need your cooperation’, the note stated in English written in Asuka’s handwriting. ‘Meet me at 1430 under the rail bridge pass, one next to the convenience store. If Misato asks, say you are going shopping, because you are – later. Wait until I leave. Destroy the note now.’

Shinji’s brows furrowed even further as he glanced at the clock; it was close to 2 p.m. – and he could hear Asuka saying something to Misato, followed by the sound of the door. _‘Speak of the Devil…’_ he realized as he wondered what Asuka’s plan could possibly be.

***

“You’re late”, Asuka grumbled as Shinji entered the underpass.

“No I’m not?” he protested, reaching for his NERV-issued cellphone; the screen showed 14:30.

Asuka narrowed her eyes and glanced at her watch. “Oh well, it’s running ahead again. Never mind”, she shrugged. “Now, you certainly have a lot of questions”, she paused.

“Some, yes. Let me guess – you had an idea and don’t want Misato to hear it, because it is about her?”

Asuka pouted as her dramatic effect was partially ruined. “Kind of. Let’s cut to the chase: can you cook spicy food?”

Shinji blinked in confusion. “Of course?”

“Then start. She started to drink a bit less, and I don’t think I can spike this _Pisswasser_ she drinks any further without changing the taste”, she explained. “But if you spice things up, she’ll have to drink more, and I don’t think that would be water or milk.”

“Water rarely helps with hot food, but why milk?” Shinji queried.

“Ah, right. You people rarely drink it raw, right?” Asuka realized. “Milk is just slightly worse than alcohol to wash the burn away. Yogurt is better, but we usually don’t have any. But as said, she’ll go for the beer and we’ll be fine again. Are you in?”

“I… think so?” he agreed, hesitantly. “Won’t that be a problem for you?”

Asuka just glared at him. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a delicate flower”, she smirked. “I like it hot. Just don’t overdo it, don’t go into Misato’s territory – and we’ll be fine.”

“Well”, Shinji replied absentmindedly, his brain occupied with planning the evening meal. “I think you **are** like a flower, just more like a rose, wonderful petals, firm stem, hard thorns, and all–” he abruptly stopped seeing her inscrutable expression.

“Think about it, okay? Now, you had shopping to do and I have to – have to – have to go find an iron”, Asuka blurted out in one breath, turned in place, and ran.

Shinji was left standing in the shadow of the rail underpass, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

_‘Did… did I say something wrong?’_

***

_‘I will kill him, I will murder him, I will make him suffer, I will tear him apart, I will drive him before me, I will hear lamentations of his oh wait’_ a part of Asuka’s mind was racing as she was running the narrow streets of the neighborhood. Another part of her was looking at this behavior in confusion. _‘It was nothing, it was an off-hand, undercooked compliment. Why am I blushing like a teenage girl?’_

Yet another part, the most rational one, delivered an immediate reply: _‘Because I **am** a teenage girl. And he just paid me a compliment, a nice one, consciously or not.’_

Having reached an empty alley, Asuka stopped in her tracks and pressed her head against the shadowed wall. The cold of the stone gave her a momentary reprieve and her breath started to slow down, even if her heart rate refused to follow the good example. The short run was nothing to her well-trained body – but the emotions were a different matter; those were not exactly trained.

_‘Okay, at least I enrolled him into the plan’,_ she tried to find the positives of the situation. _‘And maybe, **maybe** he was absentminded enough that he didn’t notice my blush. Or he won’t get its meaning. Because if he did notice and understood, I’ll have to kill him and then endure a serious whipping for that’,_ she concluded, unperturbed by the absurdity of the statement.

As she managed to calm herself down and start her walk towards the drugstore, another thought, an absurd thought, intruded her mind: _‘And what if he saw, understood, and liked it? What if he actually **meant** it as a compliment?’_

She shook her head. _‘One step at a time. Let’s close this part of the plan… and maybe I will confront him about that sometimes later. Preferably in bed. Yes, most definitely in bed. After I am relaxed after some delicious ass-strapping, a post-spanking orgasm, and while basking in the heat of his–’_

She stopped in her tracks, feeling the familiar, pleasant, but certainly disruptive sensation in her stomach – and her nether regions.

_‘Fuck. Not again. Well, for once I can’t blame anyone but myself.’_

***

_Sunday evening_

“How do you like it, Misato?” Shinji inquired innocently.

“It’s… good, I just… you never made anything so spicy before”, she replied, taking another gulp of beer. “And you were criticizing my curry!”

“There’s spicy, there’s hot”, Asuka interjected, “and there is ‘burn the taste buds to the ground’, Misato.”

The older woman shot her a glare and opened her mouth to retort. Shinji, entirely unwilling to endure another argument, quickly picked the subject up: “I thought I might try something new, and I found this recipe. Should I tone it down next time?”

Misato thought for a moment. “No, I think it’ll be fine. Just… warn me beforehand, okay?”

“Sure”, he smiled. “Asuka?” he turned to the other person at the table. “How do you find it?”

The redhead gave him a thumb up. “It’s hot enough to remind me of hell I am from, as your buddies would say”, she replied with a grin. “I like it, it’s the good kind of burning. Keep it up. And I don’t need warnings, you have my permission to spice it up.”

Shinji chuckled and blushed softly, eliciting a smirk of approval from Asuka – which in turn made him blush more.

Misato took a long look at each of them, then shook her head, pretty certain she was just seeing things that were not there. “Thank you, Shin-chan, for the wonderful supper… but I think I’m going to bed now”, she yawned wide, barely covering her mouth.

***

Twenty minutes later, as a loud, semi-regular snoring was coming from Misato’s room and Shinji was finishing doing the dishes, Asuka snuck out of her room. Waiting for a short window in which her target was not holding anything in his hands, she tiptoed behind Shinji, grinned, leaned closer, and–

“Hello, Third, got a moment?”

He jumped up, exactly as she anticipated – and his fist stopped just half an inch from her chest. _‘Oh. Right. Combat training’_, she realized.

He let out the breath he held; within half a second, his face turned from ‘focused and combat-ready’ to ‘relieved’ – and then to ‘stern and angry’.

“Asuka.”

She straightened reflexively, her grin suddenly diminished; her surprise at her own reaction quickly vanished as she realized he had just used _that_ voice.

“Asuka”, he repeated. “What did I tell you about surprising me?”

She smiled sheepishly. “Well…”

He let out a sigh. “You’ll get ten more on the next opportunity”, he declared. “Objections?”

The redhead shivered. _‘No sir! I’ll take it with pride, sir!’_ ran through her mind. She took a deep breath. “None”, she managed. “I’m…” she stopped herself. _‘Wait, was I about to apologize? Come on, there are limits…’_ she chastised herself. “I accept.”

“Good”, he nodded, _that_ voice still in effect. “Now…” he continued in a softer tone. “What can I do for you once I am done here? Because if you came here just to scare me, I’ll make that twenty.”

Asuka regained her composure, quickly squashing the idea of making him follow that threat. Another stray thought about the seriously strange nature of their dynamics was filed away for later as she spoke up: “I thought that if you’re not too tired and Misato’s out early due to my ingenious plan and your flawless execution, we could take a moment to study.”

Shinji pondered for a moment. “Sure, but no more than an hour, I… well, we both need to sleep more.”

“An hour is more than enough”, Asuka shrugged. “We’re up to speed, it’s just about not losing that momentum. I’ll set up the table then”, she declared and walked away.

Shinji shook his head, trying to breathe steadily. _‘Farewell sanity. Definitely “farewell sanity”. But I think I can take it’_, he smiled to himself as he returned to the familiar, well-rehearsed, and safe activity Asuka interrupted a minute ago. After all, the sooner he was done, the sooner he would get to spend time with her.

***

_About half an hour later_

“Shinji”, Asuka interjected as they were moving from problem to problem. “There’s something I wanted to ask you in the morning, but Colonel Hungover was around all the time and then it escaped me.”

“Sure?” Shinji stopped before pointing another math problem he wanted to query the redhead about.

“You wanted to say something at breakfast, right? Before you did that ‘yes Captain!’ routine?”

Shinji furrowed his brow. After a few moments of recalling, he nodded. “Yes, I wanted to threaten you with five for, well, threatening me. But it’d be wrong, I already told you threats are fine as long as they are not violent or vulgar.”

“Oh, okay. Sounds reasonable”, she accepted. “But why didn’t you, you know, signal it? In some circumspect way, I mean?”

“Well, it’s hard to communicate ‘this is going to cost you five more’ secretly, right?”

Asuka smirked. “You could have used a gesture. Let’s do it like this, okay? Simply show a number on fingers”, she suggested, her voice carrying a mix of amusement and tension. “Should work well… as long as you keep it discreet.”

“Hm. So…” he pondered for a moment. “Like this?” he placed his palm, fingers spread on his chest.

“U-hum”, Asuka nodded. “Or even simpler”, she demonstrated, raising her hand with fingers spread loosely and holding it next to her face, closing it and showing five fingers again. “That’d be for ten.”

Shinji’s mind, for reasons unknown to him, presented him with a scene with Asuka shouting at someone and him making the gesture, Asuka seeing and ignoring it, followed by him closing and opening his hand again… and again, watching Asuka’s eyes go wide and her going silent. He smiled.

Asuka’s brow furrowed. “That’s a mean smile, Shinji. What are you thinking of?” she asked, her tone just a bit nervous.

“Oh”, he snapped out from the vision. “Just… imagined something. Don’t worry, I will not abuse it”, his smile turned soft.

Asuka let out a sigh, still eyeing him suspiciously. “I’m sure you won’t”, she confirmed. “The word is still in power, right?”

“Always”, he confirmed, surprised. “You know I just want you to be happy”, his smile kept warming her up inside.

_‘You’re doing this again. Don’t stop.’_

“So, we’re clear. Now, what’s the next problem?” she changed the subject.

***

“Thank you for the explanations”, Shinji smiled as he collected the final notebook. “It’s high time we go to bed, I guess”, he stifled a yawn.

“In-dis-put-a-bly”, Asuka did not bother to stifle hers; she barely even covered her mouth. “Go first, I need to pack this up. Just don’t fall asleep waiting for me”, she smirked as she walked to her room.

“Asuka!” he called out as softly as he could, confused.

“What?” she turned back to face him, her eyebrows raised.

“Didn’t you want to limit… that?” he managed, blushing softly.

She raised her eyes to the heavens, let out a long sigh, took a few steps, and entered his personal space. They were separated by their clothing and a stack of notebooks and handbooks. For Shinji, this felt like nothing.

“Listen, Third. Do **you** want me to piss off and sleep alone tonight?”

He shook his head. “No? Why?”

“Then stop asking stupid questions. I want to go to bed with you, I will go to bed with you”, she declared. “Unless you object, and if you do, say so now so I don’t get my hopes up”, she demanded. _‘And spend the night wondering what the fuck went wrong again, but let’s not pressure him **too much**.’_

“I–No. I mean, yes”, Shinji forced out, his face red. Contrary to Asuka, he noticed the rather specific phrasing and possible subtext – subtext he did not dare to think about.

Asuka glared at him. “I’ll take it as ‘no, I’m sorry for bothering you, and yes, I want to spend the night with you’”, she declared in a mocking voice. “Now, if you don’t mind, please hurry before I grow old and grey, or worse, decide I prefer to be the first in the bathroom”, she finished before retreating to her room.

Shinji was left alone; he shook his head and tried to calm his heartbeat and rein his thoughts in. A moment of pondering convinced him that Asuka’s choice of phrasing had to be purely accidental.

He let out a long sigh. Further overthinking had to wait; now, he needed to hurry.

***

The nights when they shared his futon were certainly high points of the week for Shinji; of course, they came with a price – usually in the form of time taken away from the much-needed sleep. Of course, this was a price he paid gladly. The other part of the price was a bit different – and sometimes he wondered if he was up to handling it properly.

“Hey, Shinji”, Asuka addressed him in this off-handed tone she usually used when she was either asking about something minor – or dropping a bomb.

She was lying on her stomach, her head supported on her hands, her bare legs moving freely outside the covers. She was wearing a nightshirt this time; Shinji was blessing the gods of the weather for giving him a reprieve in by making this evening quite chill. Of course, this mercy did not extend to Asuka’s refusal to wear anything on her still bruised bottom. But this was something he had to live with.

“Yes?” he smiled at her. He noticed a soft blush on her face; this likely meant the next question was not going to be a simple one.

“Did you… took care of yourself before bed?” she asked, her voice breaking only slightly and her blush increasing softly.

His blush, in contrast, went from ‘non-existing’ to ‘full-force’. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Asuka…” he almost pleaded.

“It’s a simple question, you know?” she chuckled. “I’m… curious. Don’t answer if–”

“I did”, he interjected, opening his eyes and catching her gaze. “Did you?”

Her smile turned into a smirk. _‘Yes. I like that’_, she smiled internally before switching to indignancy mode. “No, I would never! Why would I? Do you think I’m some pervert?”

Shinji raised his eyebrows and sniffed the air.

“You did”, he stated with a deadpan expression. “That’s five for lying.”

Asuka stared at him with her mouth open for a few seconds. “Hey! I washed my hands!” she protested. “Thoroughly!”

“So, you really did”, he nodded. “That’s still five for lying.”

Her jaw dropped again. “You bastard. You…” she shook her head. A skirmish began in her mind between two sides: one demanding brutal violence on him for his audacity, the other suggesting praising him for exercising this simple, yet neat trick. There was a third one, telling her to simply get angry at allowing herself to be tricked by something so simple, but it was quickly stomped down by a strange fourth force: a pride in him for actually daring to do this. And this fourth force, appearing from an ambush, quickly routed all other sides involved.

Face with such a result of the battle, Asuka burst out laughing.

Shinji stared at her for a moment; this was not exactly the reaction he anticipated. Anger, yes, a giggle perhaps. But not an outright, if subdued due to circumstances, laughter.

He smiled cautiously in response, doing his best to hide the truth: that it was hard for him. His heart was pounding in his chest: his choice of actions was actually a split-second decision. If he had two seconds more to think, he would have done something safer – for example, he would have been a little bit more discreet in accusing her.

“God, you’re just… okay, I give credit where it is due. You… changed”, she shook her head, still smiling. “For the better, I must say. Keep it up, and you don’t get a trip to the hospital… this time. Speaking of which, how many did I accumulate already?”

“Twenty”, he replied, confused by the mix of praise and threat, capped by a non sequitur in the end. “Five for the bad language during the last spanking, ten for the ambush, and five for lying. But it will take some time before–”

“I know. Don’t worry. I can wait”, she smiled and yawned widely again. “Okay, that is that. Listen, I know we needed to talk, but–”

A finger landed on her lips, silencing her before quickly retreating. Asuka felt surprised by her own reaction: she was not prone to exercising violence on him for this little, but significant gesture.

“But we’ll have time… tomorrow?” he smiled.

“What makes you think I will be willing to be here tomorrow?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Just a guess”, he smiled as he embraced her waist.

She let out a sigh. “All right, all right. Now, hug me. I’m cold.”

“Well, I would say you’re actually quite hot”, he retorted as they settled to sleep in their usual spoon position.

“Sweet-talker”, she sulked. “Don’t stop.”

He just smiled as the whole routine of wiggling, poking, and rubbing began; it was something both of them welcomed, enjoyed, and anticipated – no matter how blush-inducing it was, and no matter how it made him want to visit the bathroom once more.

_‘Don’t you ever stop.’_

All was in its proper place. Even if propriety was the last thing that would come to mind right now.


	13. Chapter 13

_Monday morning_

_‘God, I **really** need to find **some** solution, like padded underwear… this is genuine torture’_, Asuka pondered as she was trying her best to focus on the classes despite being extremely uncomfortable, no matter how she adjusted her seating. _‘I know I should be taking it like a big girl I am, but really, this **is** torture. And I can’t show anything, because if I do, Horaki will send me to the nurse and then I’m truly doomed…’_ she twitched again.

The Sunday was passable when it came to sitting: most seats in the Katsuragi household were either soft or at least allowed for a pillow without as much as a raised eyebrow. After all, comfort at home was something important – and Shinji made sure there were enough soft surfaces to rest on.

Not so much at school.

This was, of course, not the first time she was suffering a difficult Monday. But this time, the problem was intensity: this had been the hardest spanking – _‘The hardest spanking so far’_, her treacherous mind added, not helping the situation at all – and while she immensely enjoyed the relief it provided both on the mental and physical level – no matter how much she refused to admit it – the relief did not change the fact that the pain and discomfort remained with her for a long time.

She twitched again and at that very moment, she caught Shinji’s face in the corner of her eye – and froze.

_‘That bastard…’_ she hissed. There was no doubt about his behavior: he was looking at her – discreetly, but indisputably – and, equally indisputably, he was **smiling**. _‘He’s **enjoying** himself. He enjoys my **suffering**. He enjoys **watching** me suffer. He **likes** the fact that I am uncomfortable. I bet he’ll be getting off on that thought, too…’_

Too late she realized this line of thought was even a greater threat to her already strained ability to focus. Fortunately, her mind did not let her go too far with the images – the shift of position necessary to look at Shinji renewed the physical discomfort.

_‘Fuck you, Shinji, you sadistic bastard. I’ll have my vengeance, this or another way’_, she grumbled internally before exerting the effort of will necessary to focus on the teacher’s voice again.

This was going to be a long day.

***

_Monday afternoon_

“I’m home!” a tired voice of Colonel Katsuragi announced her presence from the doorway.

“Welcome home!” Shinji called out from the kitchen.

“Is Asuka ho–oh hi, who are you and what did you do to the real Asuka?” Misato entered the kitchen and stopped in her tracks as she saw the redhead standing at the kitchen tabletop, clearly and doubtlessly assisting Shinji in cooking.

“I’ve had enough of those too-finely chopped vegetables I could not even enjoy properly, so I decided to help this idiot understand how things should be cut”, Asuka replied in her usual, venomous voice. “And did you just imply I can’t cook?” the redhead asked in a tone that could easily be perceived as threatening.

Misato raised her eyebrow. “I wouldn’t know. You never tried, not in my memory”, she retorted. “Anyway, good for you, it’s a useful skill to have.”

“Well, that’s rich, coming from you”, Asuka replied, reaching for a particularly large leek, pressing it against the cutting board, and starting to hack at its defenseless length with a disturbing zeal. “Why don’t you have it, then?”

“I can cook, thank you very much”, Misato said, her voice clearly annoyed by the accusation. “You even ate my cooking and didn’t complain.”

“Didn’t complain _much_. And it was under duress. You made it clear my only other choice was starvation”, Asuka shrugged, having finished executing horrific violence on the innocent vegetable and having shoved its chopped remains into the boiling water with one smooth move. Shinji chuckled.

“Asuka, careful. Visiting the Emergency Ward is the last thing we need right now”, he warned her, his voice amused. “Especially on an empty stomach.”

“Don’t worry, I know my way around a knife”, Asuka narrowed her eyes at him. “The only thing threatened are the vegetables and **maybe** the fish if you’re feeling generous enough to let me slice it. Even you are safe for now. I’m not dumb, I won’t hurt the cook if Misato is the only backup we have. Also, ‘on empty stomach’ is the best way of receiving injuries”, she added.

“‘The best way of receiving injuries’, Asuka, is ‘not at all’”, Misato retorted, refusing to continue the discussion about cooking despite yet another jab from the redhead. “And why are you in the kitchen at all, was it not your turn for shopping?”

She shrugged. “I don’t remember the duty roster to be set in stone, it’s written on rather thin paper, right? We adapted, both sides consenting”, she explained as she started her violent assault on the disassembled garlic bulb. The assault was a short-lived one, though: it quickly got interrupted by a loud “Ouch, damn it!”, followed by the knife hitting the cutting board after a momentary free-fall, and Asuka pushing her hand under the faucet with running cold water.

“Let’s be thankful this didn’t happen with the large knife”, Shinji commented calmly, his voice resigned.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Master Chef”, she barked in response.

Shinji just smiled back, making a small gesture in front of him – a palm raised so only Asuka could see it, all five fingers spread.

Asuka drew breath and narrowed her eyes. “Aw, damn it!” she blurted out – but not without a small smile on her face. _‘I walked right into it, didn’t I? Fuck me, I’m not giving him the satisfaction of seeing me back up’_, she decided without a hint of doubt; a wave of butterflies that ran through her stomach was a strong factor in that decision.

Turning the faucet off, she took a look at the cut, shrugged, and picked the knife up again.

“Asuka, is this a good idea?” Misato looked at her worried.

“An officer does not stop in the pursuit of a noble goal after facing single adversity, especially if it is so minor”, Asuka said dismissively. “And you better go change, we’re going to be done in about twenty minutes.”

The older woman chuckled. “Fair point, but please Shinji, would you make sure this is not a ‘German blood soup’?”

“Don’t worry, Misato”, he replied with a smile. “I have everything under control”, he added, failing to notice an odd look from the redhead.

“Great. Now, before I forget, I have something for you”, she reached into her bag, eliciting quizzing looks. “Rei asked me to give you those”, she fished two envelopes out. “She seems to be holding some kind of… a dinner party?” she spoke the word oddly, almost as if it seemed out of place so close to ‘Rei’ for her.

Both teenagers looked at Misato, then on each other, expressing their confusion by shrugging in unison. “Sure, leave them on the table, we’ll get to them once we’re done here”, Shinji spoke. “It’s not for today, right?” he added in a worried voice.

Misato shook her head. “No, no. I just glanced at mine, but I think it’s at least a week away, if not further”, she replied, leaving the ‘To Ikari Shinji’ and ‘To Pilot of Unit-02’ envelopes at the table and retreating to her room. “Call me once it’s ready, will you Shin-chan?”

“Of course, Misato!”

***

_Later that afternoon_

“Wonderful as ever, Shin-chan”, Misato praised the cooking. “By the way, was the ‘hot as the girl I like’ dinner a singular incident?” she prodded, smiling over the bowl.

Shinji blushed slightly and Asuka barely managed to hide a mean smile. _‘If she only knew…’_ she realized. _‘This was more a “hotter than her bottom” kind of dinner’_, she chuckled, hiding it under a cough.

“Asuka? Are you all right?” Shinji focused on the redhead. A dismissive handwave returned his attention to their guardian. “No, it will be coming back, I think variety is a good thing. But I promise to be more careful with spices”, he explained as he set the last bowl on the table and sat in front of it.

“It was quite fine, don’t”, Misato protested. “Just… warn me beforehand, okay? And don’t do it too often, it’s bad for the skin.”

“…and we don’t want you to use too many cosmetics, we get it”, Asuka interjected, giving Misato the eye.

Shinji let out a heavy sigh as his two cohabitants started their usual banter over the subject he barely understood. He was not sure why Asuka even considered wearing make-up – she looked perfect to him already, under any conditions – but especially when she rose up in the morning after night they would spend together, when her hair was tousled and her eyes still dreamy. Second place went to the moments just after he finished spanking her, when she let her guard down, when there was no mask at all, where she was the most vulnerable–

Too late he realized where this train of thought led, even if it should be obvious to him already. His face was now fiery red – a small wonder, considering how much blood was directed elsewhere. Which, in turn, made it difficult to stand up and run to the kitchen without putting his far-too-tight pants on display.

He did the only thing he could – he hid his face behind the bowl as much as he could while desperately focusing on things different than Asuka and her beautiful face, not to mention her perfect legs, shapely bottom and–

He started to realize his efforts were doomed from the start.

There was only one solution: to count for both the reason for his flustering and his guardian to remain distracted and take the chance on running.

It worked; a few moments later he was pressing his body against the cold tabletop and thinking of kitchen utensils; it helped a lot, at least for the moment.

“Anyone wants seconds?” he asked innocuously as he turned back with the pan in his hands.

“Yes please”, Asuka replied, holding her bowl in her outstretched hand. “Fighting always makes me hungry.”

Misato rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Thank you, I haven’t finished mine and it’ll be more than enough anyway”, she replied. “Eat up while it still goes in your muscles and your energy instead of your thighs”, she jabbed at Asuka.

Shinji quickly squashed a thought that crept up and tried to show him pictures of Asuka’s thighs in various positions, a sight he knew all too well. He forced himself to focus on the pan. The pan was safe. The pan did not make his blood pressure rise. The pan did not have the perfect face, the wonderful curves, the–

His suspicion about his efforts being doomed slowly turned into certainty. It took him a few long minutes to regain a semblance of composure; luckily for him, Misato seemed preoccupied – and he knew he did not have to worry about Asuka’s perception. He smiled to himself, aware how much a blessing that was.

“Ah, yes”, their guardian realized between a bite and a sip, blissfully unaware of the struggle happening just next to her. “Ritsuko told me to tell you: you don’t have to cut school short tomorrow; the test is canceled.”

“Oh?” Shinji’s face turned concerned; a part of him expressed silent gratitude for the distraction. “Did something happen?”

“Nah”, Misato waved her hand dismissively. “She’s just working on something she calls ‘temporary matter displacement’. It’s some Evangelion-based tech she hopes she can weaponize”, she explained. “Or was it ‘temporal’? And it seems the material she managed to make for it has a half-life measured in hours, so she’s scrambling to do some field test run as soon as possible. So, the whole lab is pulling an around-the-clock work for now, shunting everything else aside. I suppose the test will be rescheduled sometime later this week. Or this month, if the results are promising and she gets caught up in that line of research.”

“Are you sure you should be telling us that, Misato?” Shinji inquired, worry in his voice. “Isn’t it like, top secret?”

“Nah”, she waved her hand again. “I trust you guys, and it’s not that we’re bugged. I check regularly”, she reassured him. “Just don’t discuss it at school or outside, and it’ll be fine.”

“Oh well, while I prefer being near my Eva than in school, there’s no doubt that Doctor Akagi’s tests are boring. It’s either being poked and prodded or sitting in a tube without connection to my Unit, I rarely get to sit inside. At least I’ll not miss PE again”, Asuka shrugged. She took a bite of her dinner – and suddenly felt cold. _‘Fuck. That means I have to exercise, which means I have to change, and that means I have to hide my… fuck.’_

A quizzing look from Shinji made her shook her head and resume a composed expression. _‘Oh well, I’ll claim heavy period, what gives. They don’t know about the implant’, _she decided, making the panic subside as quickly as it rose.

Silence descended between them as they enjoyed their dinner; to Shinji’s dismay, it lasted about whole two minutes.

“Is it just me, or is this beer getting worse?” Misato grumbled as she took another sip.

This was greeted with two pairs of raised eyebrows.

“Considering that you don’t let us drink it – not that I would touch this stuff even if you let me – yes, it’s just you”, Asuka replied, tone of her voice somewhere between tired and annoyed. “Didn’t you buy an alcohol-free version by mistake?” she queried in an innocent tone, at the same time wearing a mocking smile.

“This would be a rookie mistake, and I am a veteran drinker”, Misato eyed the redhead. “Oh well, might be a faulty batch or something. Not that it’s spoiled or anything, just a tad worse”, she shrugged as she finished the can, squashed it, and threw it into the ‘metal’ bin with a precision that indicated long and regular practice. “I’m going to take a proper bath now; I think I deserved it after today. Thanks for the nice dinner, Shin-chan!”

“No problem!” he smiled at her.

“And no words of gratitude to the chef’s assistant?” Asuka grumbled, her face sour.

Misato chuckled. “And to Shinji’s little helper, too, of course”, she added in an amused voice as she rose from the chair. “I must say that the carrot chunks were all the correct size.”

Asuka rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Good enough, I guess”, she shrugged.

***

_Monday evening_

The night was hot; the short period of a cold front was over. Shinji – currently lying on his back on his futon, dressed for the night – was both cursing and blessing that fact.

The blessing was that he had the most beautiful girl in the world lying in bed with him, naked and covered by just a thin sheet. The curse was that his body was reacting to that fact just as he could expect. The blessing was that she did not seem to mind his reactions, quite the opposite – she was clinging tightly to his side. The curse was that – for reasons unfathomable to him – her body was also reacting – presumably to him, no matter how strange the concept was – and the girl in question was rubbing her wetness against his thigh on every movement. And she was refusing to lie still.

All in all, no matter how blood-pressure-raising the situation was, he enjoyed it thoroughly. He was just aware that it would call for another bathroom trip before he would ever try to fall asleep.

“Hey, Shinji”, the off handed-tone in Asuka’s voice was usually a warning.

“Mm?” he eyed her as she raised her head and rested it on her hand. “What is it?”

“What do you think about those invitations?”

Shinji relaxed. This was not a bomb, and while it was not trivial, it was something he could easily answer. Or, more accurately, he would be if Asuka did not choose exactly this moment to adjust her position – _again_ – and subtly rub her thigh and knee against his bulging briefs. He could swear her eyes were shining in a momentary display of mischief.

He let out a sigh and tried to collect his thoughts.

“I don’t know, I… I didn’t expect her to think of something like that”, he admitted. “I… don’t really know her. But I think it’s’ a good idea.”

Asuka raised her eyebrows. “Why?” she asked, her voice carrying a hint of a… threat? Anger?

Shinji turned his head to get a better view of her face, difficult as it was in the darkness of the room. To his eyes, she seemed concerned, maybe even worried. Another good indicator of that was that she stopped moving around.

“I’m not sure”, he replied with care warranted in the sudden change of mood; his old instincts were telling him to retreat and say something neutral, but the new ones disagreed. “She’s a fellow pilot, we fought side by side, and we’re kind of… ignoring her. I thought she was fine with it, but now that she is reaching out…” he trailed off, still uncertain what was going behind Asuka’s eyes. Suddenly, an idea popped in his mind. “Do you want to cook something with me for the occasion?” he voiced it before he had time to think about it.

Asuka’s brows furrowed, surprise clear on her face. “I… I don’t know”, she admitted. “Why?”

He shook his head. “There was a ‘contributions welcome once discussed’ note on the invitations”, he explained. “Did you even read it whole?” a note of amusement crept into his voice.

“I glanced at it”, she shrugged. “The date was rather far, so I thought I’ll read the rest later. It was a bit wordy”, she elaborated, unwilling to admit that she actually would need a dictionary for it due to Ayanami using somewhat old, more traditional language.

“Oh, right”, he smiled. “Well, there is an invitation in the invitation, to actually cooperate on preparing the dinner party. I think this is actually some way for her to reach out to us… And I think it would be rude to reject it”, he continued. “Cooking with you is fun, so I thought we might do it together”, he finished with a smile.

Asuka’s brows furrowed even further. _‘Fun? Well, he did smile at me quite a lot in that time… And I did enjoy it…’_

“Hm”, she replied, looking aside. “I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you”, Shinji smiled at her.

“Stop”, she growled. “Stop being so sweet.”

Shinji raised his eyebrows at that. Half a second later, his smile turned enigmatic as he reached inside the box next to the futon. “Here, it may help”, he said, handing the object he fished out to Asuka. She reflexively took it in her hand and just glared confusedly at it for a few long moments.

It was a lemon.

***

In her room, Colonel Misato Katsuragi shifted in her sleep, mumbling something about ‘damn partying neighbors’ and ‘rowdy drunks’ before blindly reaching for her glass of water, taking a gulp, and dropping back on her far-too-warm pillow.

The laughter coming from somewhere in the vicinity died down before the deep, alcohol-aided sleep took her over again.

***

_Tuesday morning_

“Hey, Shinji, a question”, Asuka poked her companion as they walked down the stairs from their apartment building. “How long did you wait to make that lemon joke? And what gave you the idea?”

Shinji chuckled. “Well, since you complained about our behavior being too sweet”, he explained.

“When did I complain about that?” she suddenly stopped.

“Some time ago? When…” he paused. “When we were discussing whether we are… friends”, he finished, his voice softer.

Asuka’s stomach fluttered, her expression inscrutable. _‘Fuck. That’s one of the big elephants in the room filled with boxes, right? Fuck, I… I was supposed to go back to that one. Soon. I promised him that. And fucking soon that is…’_

“Asuka?” he looked at her with concern.

“Listen. Later, okay?” she replied with her eyes shut tight. “I… I need to think.”

“Sure?” his voice was uncertain.

“But?” she snapped, suddenly glaring at him.

“Can you do it on the way?” he requested. “We’ll be late.”

Asuka’s palm met her face. “Right. Let’s go.”

***

_Tuesday night_

_‘God, am I missing something? No… **what** am I missing?’_

A lone girl was lying in her bed. Her eyes were moving along the lines of the ceiling tiles for the twentieth time – and her thoughts were going in the same circle for the twentieth time. A machine that was lying dormant for a while, the Vicious Overthinking Engine, was active once more. Silent when the doll was there to listen to the doubts Asuka voiced, the Engine shook off the dust it was covered with and started to hum as it discreetly moved into a higher gear.

_‘What am I to him?’_

Asuka was alone in her bed; while the last night has been a peaceful respite from her restlessness, she woke up the same way as before – cuddled tightly together, their legs intertwined, his hand resting on her breast. And what troubled her was the fact that this time, the idea of beating him up for it appeared only as a dim afterthought.

_‘When did this become normal for me?’_

She had to use most of her willpower to convince herself that they should take this night away from each other; she had to be sure of that herself before even attempting to persuade him. Shinji accepted her choices, usually without a question, but it would be impossible to persuade him if she was not certain herself.

Her thoughts briefly returned to the moment less than an hour ago, to his expression of disappointment and understanding, followed by his sad smile and a nod. To the moment when she felt like she had just kicked a puppy.

_‘Maybe I should have said: “I need time to myself”… But God, this sounds so cliché’_, she cringed and traced the lines for the twentieth-and-first time. _‘Fortunately, while he grew a spine, he is not as stubborn as I am. I would have to kill him if he was. And that would likely mean losing him.’_

She rolled on her side, clutching a pillow. A tiny voice told her to go ahead and take the doll out of its hiding place, to resolve it the old way, the way that worked so many times before, the way she abandoned once the relationship – no matter how much she feared that word, this is what it was – with Shinji took a far more solid, if still a very ambiguous, form.

But it was exactly this ambiguity that was gnawing at her, along with the resulting anxiety. It was not the perfect fuel for the Vicious Overthinking Engine, but it kept it running.

This was going to be a long night.

***

A lone boy was lying in his bed. His eyes were glued to the spot a certain girl was occupying for the most nights of the week – and his thoughts were reaching to her, even in her absence. Or, more correctly, especially in her absence.

His brows furrowed as he rolled to his back.

What made up her mind about spending this night separately remained a mystery to him – but it was her choice, so he did not think to question it, especially in the face of her apparent certainty. She did not appear angry or sad, just deep in thoughts. She gave him a fierce parting hug, a kiss on the cheek that made him blush – and left for her room, leaving him alone for the night. And Shinji just had to accept that.

He just did not like it.

_‘I wish I would not miss her so much… she’s almost **living** here, now. And… and I like it that way’_, he admitted to himself. Those thoughts were not new to him: there were times between Asuka falling asleep – he could easily tell by now by listening to her breathing – and him drifting away, times when he pondered his situation. He rarely had too much brain capacity for that, considering where most of his blood usually was, aided by Asuka’s twitching – but sometimes conclusions were made.

And the main conclusion was that he really, really liked what was happening between them, in many aspects – but first and foremost, he liked the fact that he was no longer alone. Aside from the obvious pleasures of having a gorgeous girl – a girl his classmates would fight and perhaps even kill for – clinging to him, there was something else: they talked. They opened before each other, step by step, night by night, admission by admission, secret by secret. She trusted him. He trusted her.

One thing was still hanging in the air, along with the strawberry scent that refused to fade.

_‘What does Asuka want me to be?’_

***

_Wednesday morning_

“Coffee?” Shinji smiled at the barely conscious Asuka who just managed to creep out of her room. A nod was the only answer; the night had clearly been hard for her. A few moments later, the redhead gently sat at the table and her bleary eyes started tracking Shinji’s movements. Soon after, a cup of coffee was in front of her; she picked it up and took a sip, ignoring the fact that it was likely scalding hot. To her surprise, it was not – while it still burned, it was a pleasant burn. It was quite obvious even to her hazed mind that Shinji took measures to make it immediately drinkable.

“Thanks”, she looked at him as she waited for the caffeine to start working; a random thought born of gratitude appeared unexpectedly. Aspects of her personality rushed to squash it or at least file it away, but they were too sluggish at this time of the day – and thus the thought reached Asuka’s speech center before it could be caught and stuck in the container labeled WARNING: SERIOUS HAZARD.

“I would marry you if you promised to do this every morning.”

About two seconds later, the meaning of her words reached the conscious brain. About a second later, neither of them needed any coffee. Ten more seconds of awkward silence later, a confused Pen Pen paraded through the room on his way from the bathroom. Twenty more seconds of even more awkward silence later, they both took a deep breath.

“We’ll get back to it?” Shinji managed through his clenched throat.

“I’ll put it to the far end of the queue”, Asuka replied, her eyes still wide from panic.

***

_About an hour later_

The two teenagers were walking towards the bus stop in awkward silence.

“Asuka, I–” Shinji started, his voice uncertain.

“Don’t say anything”, the redhead interrupted, her ears quickly matching her hair. “We’ll get back to it once it stops scaring both of us, okay?”

“Agreed”, he replied, relief apparent in his voice.

“Thanks.”

***

_Wednesday night_

The big yawn must have lowered the pressure in the room by a hectopascal or two. Misato was never one to feel embarrassed with something as trivial as a yawn – she cared just enough to cover her mouth.

“Wonderful as ever, Shin-chan”, she praised the food as she rose from the table. “But it’s time for me to go to sleep.

“Are you all right, Misato?” Asuka inquired. “It was just two beers.”

“And it was a very long day”, the Colonel retorted. “If you want to prime me for the morning torture with a hangover, this is a bad time to do it”, she added in a more serious voice.

Asuka let out a sigh. “You’ve given me fewer reasons recently, so don’t worry”, Asuka replied in a conciliating tone. “Sleep well.”

As Misato retreated in a somewhat confused state of mind after failing to reply to the redhead’s statement, the teenagers exchanged a look behind her back:

Shinji raised an eyebrow questioningly; Asuka’s look became inquisitive.

Shinji’s made a gesture as if he was flipping the pages; Asuka’s brow furrowed ponderously.

Shinji raised his eyebrow a bit higher; Asuka nodded carefully.

Shinji smiled invitingly; Asuka replied with a small grin.

***

“I thought you’d not agree”, Shinji smiled as they settled at the table with the books and notes.

She took a deep breath. “We agreed that we still need that, right?” she shrugged. “Okay, let’s make this quick and painless.”

Shinji tilted his head, giving her a quizzing look. “Is this the moment you murder me for saying the wrong thing?”

The redhead chuckled. “No, it is not. If I were to murder you, I’d do it in some remote place, not where I live. Besides, you make too good a coffee to murder you. And have some… other qualities”, she added with a hint of blush on her face. “So – no, not today, and not ever. Is this good enough for you?”

He smiled at her. “It always was”, he replied. “So… what was this thing you wanted to make painless?”

“You hitting me”, she not-really-explained.

Shinji raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Asuka chuckled. “Not literally. I know what you lack in your curriculum, more or less. I need you to determine the same for me. You…” she hesitated, her expression sour. “You must’ve noticed what happened in the last few classes.”

“Well, anyone can have a worse–” he started.

“I’m not **anyone**, right?” she hissed. “I knew the answers, I just stumbled on details. I mean, it’s better than it was, just not… perfect.”

“Okay…” he pondered for a moment. “We can take the problem book and go through the problem descriptions? You read it aloud, explain what you understood if needed, and I correct you if there’s something wrong?”

“Sounds good – as long as you don’t laugh at my mistakes”, she replied.

Shinji shook his head, his expression confused. “Asuka… did I ever?”

Asuka looked at him, surprise clear on her face. _‘He… fuck, he’s right. He never did. What was I afraid of?’_

She filed that thought away, making a note to think about it under better circumstances. “Right. Okay, let’s go, Physics first…”

***

_Later that evening_

“How do you prefer to sleep, Asuka?” a question, asked in an innocuous tone, broke through the usual snoring of their guardian.

“Stop asking stupid questions”, a response, barked in a no-nonsense voice, cut the discussion.

“My room, ten minutes, then?”

“Make that twenty, I need to brush my hair.”

“I… I can do that for you”, Shinji tried carefully.

“I know, I keep that in mind”, Asuka lied, managing to hide the sudden stomach knot. _‘Ugh. Too many things keep happening’_, she grumbled internally._ ‘And with his patience, he would be good for the task, maybe I could even try a new hairdo or two… but all in good time’_, she decided. “Sorry, not today, okay? I really need that sleep. But I promise you we’ll get back to–”

“I’ll hold you to that”, his smile widened as he interrupted. “And you know what will happen if you lie”, he added innocently – but in _that_ voice.

Her eyes narrowed as a shiver ran down her spine. “You enjoy that, don’t you?”

“Tell me that you don’t”, the smile gained grin-like qualities and his eyes fixated on her face.

“Well, why would I? You already told me what’s in store for me for lying”, her smile matched his as their eyes locked.

A genuine joy sparked in his eyes, a sight she rarely saw. “See you in twenty minutes. Be late, and…”

“…and suffer?” she raised her eyebrows.

“Or accept the consequences”, he corrected.

_‘Oh, definitely. And enjoy them. But not here, not now’_, she decided, wisely not saying it out loud.

“I’ll be there in fifteen”, she stuck out her tongue. “Be sure **you** won’t get late.”

“Am I ever?” he retorted, eliciting a chuckle from her as she skipped to her room.

_‘This is insane. But I wouldn’t have it any other way’_, he realized as he collected his books and notes before hurrying to the storeroom that served as his room. He knew Asuka would not be late – so he could not make her wait for him.

After all, that would be rude.

***

_Thursday afternoon_

Asuka rubbed her bottom as they got out of the bus; it was still in less-than-perfect shape – and sitting still was an issue, even if it was no longer such a distraction. Being able to think about something else again was a blessing, but it actually caused a different problem – her thoughts, focused on personal issues, resulted in a few unpleasant startles in class. The only thing that saved her from trouble was her ability to improvise – but this, as always, came at a cost of mental exhaustion.

“Okay, Third, there’s an issue”, she started once in a tired voice they departed the crowded lane and entered an empty back street they used as a short-cut to the apartment.

“Yes?” Shinji’s attention turned to her immediately, his ponderings interrupted.

“I need a session tonight”, she admitted, her eyes cast down.

“I thought you–”

“Yeah”, she growled as she angrily kicked a stone. “I was… wrong about that ‘I can wait’ part. Those few days have been… nervous, okay? And bedtime with you, however pleasant and warm, is not enough to soothe that”, she raised her head before he could reply. “It’s not _bad_ or _needing improvement_, okay? Don’t panic just yet. It’s just… not enough, just like…” she pondered for a second. “Just like water is not enough when you’re hungry, right? We have time, there’s vodka for our guardian, the gag’s more or less fixed… all I need is you. Are you willing?”

“Yes, but are you sure this a good idea?” Shinji inquired.

“Listen”, her voice turned insistent. “I need it to take the edge off”, she repeated, her eyes escaping again. “Are you up to it or not? I won’t ask again”, she asked, her gaze suddenly meeting his.

“Well, I’m willing if you are…” he replied reluctantly. “But what about your bottom? You still twitch when you–”

“And you enjoy watching that, you sick fuck, don’t you?” she smiled a lop-sided grin despite the sour mood. To her surprise, he made no gesture, his only reaction was to become more ponderous. “Don’t worry, my bottom’s fine. I told you, I’m not a delicate flower.”

“I’ll trust you on that”, he smiled back. “Tonight, then.”

Her grin widened. “I knew I could count on you”, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. It was only after taking far more than a few steps when she realized she was supposed to release it afterward.

The catch was that Shinji did not let her go once she tried. _‘What are you doing? Is this your way of saying “I’m not letting you go”? If it is, then it certainly works…’_ she realized as she felt her heart racing.

The rest of the way they walked in silence. But this time, even if they avoided each other’s eyes, the silence did not feel that awkward.

***

_Later that afternoon_

“Okay, I think it’s random”, Misato decided after taking a gulp. “It’s exactly the same pack as the previous one, but this one is far better”, she shook the half-empty can.

It took a lot of self-control from Asuka – a quality most would say she lacked – not to comment. She knew all too well that the only difference between the cans has been the content she sometimes added – the 50ml of vodka, surreptitiously poured in when the redhead wanted Misato to go under faster and harder than she usually did.

“Perhaps it’s a matter of food?” Shinji commented in an attempt to draw attention away from Asuka’s imperfect attempts at a poker face. “An interaction with the spices?”

Misato shook her head. “I don’t think so, and I don’t want to conduct a scientific study on that”, she finished with a wide yawn. “That’s Ritsuko’s domain”, she declared as she took a big, can-emptying gulp. “I’ll just enjoy the good stuff and count on the next one to be the same.”

Asuka’s smile, hidden behind her mug of tea, was one of satisfaction. _‘One more U-booted beer and she’ll go down like the drink’s namesake… and I’ll get my treatment. God, I can’t wait’,_ she realized, her smile widening. _‘I supposed I really am addicted to that… on the other hand, my addiction is far healthier than hers, and certainly cheaper’_, her smile turned smug as the results from The Great Asuka’s Wonderful Rationalization Engine came in. After all, everything was fine; all that was left was to improve another beer and wait for the results. And those came pretty quickly.

***

After Misato went down and her snoring filled the apartment, Shinji managed to complete all his chores in record time; to his surprise, he had a slender pair of helping hands in all of them to some capacity. He just smiled at Asuka every time; he knew better than to comment.

***

The box stack that usually served as Asuka’s support using was partially covered with the soft towel, Asuka’s hands were resting on it, and she was waiting. She had, once more, asked to take the spanking in the nude, and Shinji saw no reason to deny her that; distracting as it might have been for him, it was difficult to resist her pleading voice. And while Shinji was still shy about looking at her perfect form, he had to admit he enjoyed the sight tremendously.

“Ready?”

Asuka just nodded in response, her expression focused.

He adjusted his position and started the well-known motion to press the leather strap against Asuka’s bottom.

He hesitated as his hand was halfway there as he noticed the appearance of her skin. The bruises were still red-and-purple. His medical knowledge might have been limited, but even what he remembered from biology lessons was telling him this was not a good thing.

His hand moved a quarter of the way down before he shook his head and the hand holding the strap retreated.

Asuka’s brow furrowed as she glared at him. Her face expressed the question she could not ask through the gag: ‘What the fuck?’

Shinji shook his head again. “I won’t do it”, he paused. “Blau.”

Asuka’s eyes turned furious even before the last word sounded. She grabbed the gag and pulled it out, not even bothering to unclasp it; it slid down to rest on her neck.

“Shinji?” she hissed angrily, her voice exceeding the whisper by a clearly unsafe margin, even for the condition Misato was in. “What the fuck?”

“You haven’t healed yet; if I hit you now, something may burst, or get necrotic… it’s just not safe”, Shinji managed to say despite feeling the extreme pressure of Asuka’s Death Glare.

“Oh come on, I’m **fine**. It’s my body, I know better! Get on with it!” she demanded, her volume rising with every sentence, her Death Glare deserving the term.

He took a deep breath, forcibly stopping himself from giving in.

“No.”

With a slow, deliberate motion, Asuka straightened up. She was half-a-head taller than Shinji was, and while this rarely mattered, now it allowed her to stare at him from above – and her stare was anything but friendly.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I’m sorry, but this will have to wait”, he reiterated. “I should’ve noticed it earlier, but… I still sometimes try not to look”, he admitted sheepishly; those were words Asuka would usually tease him over; but now, the situation was far too serious for that.

“Last chance, Third”, she hissed. “Get to it, or–”

“Or what, Asuka?” he met her gaze, his voice suddenly firmer. “Are you going to force me to do what **you** want? I used the safeword, right? I have respected yours before. Will you respect mine?”

“Safeword is to protect yourself!” she started in loud voice, forcing the volume down half-way through the exclamation. “Not to decide about my condition, or anything!”

He shook his head. The pressure was getting to him, but to the surprise of everyone involved, he kept standing his ground. “Well. I don’t feel comfortable giving you a spanking when your bottom is in such a sorry condition. I don’t want to cause damage, it just feels wrong. Is this ‘protecting myself’ enough for you?”

“I call bullshit”, Asuka replied, crossing her arms in front of her.

Shinji clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. “Call it what you will. I’m **not** spanking you tonight. Nor tomorrow. Not until this heals, and judging from the previous–”

“And what gives you the right to decide **that**?” she glared at him, her eyes narrow.

Shinji opened his eyes and met her gaze, his eyes full of confusion. “My better judgment? You don’t exactly **see** your bottom.”

“But I **feel** it, okay? I say it’s fine. That’s my judgment”, she declared, her voice far less certain than she tried to make it. _‘We were fine, we were doing so well, don’t you dare to fuck it up! Don’t. You. Dare.’_

“Asuka…” he tried again. “I will… I will spank you”, he declared, turning her frown into a smirk of victory. “But as I said – not today. When you heal”, he finished, erasing the smirk faster than it appeared.

Asuka narrowed her eyes at him; her mind became a warzone once more, a field of battle between her respect for him and his decisiveness, allied with her common sense – and her anger at him and his unwavering stance, allied with her burning desire for pain and pleasure.

For a moment, the forces seemed to be equally matched – but soon it became apparent that the side of desire had the arousal-and-anticipation fueled advantage; the battle was over far too quickly.

“Oh, fuck that” she growled. “You know what? Forget it. Fuck it. I won’t beg. Goodnight, Shinji.” Grabbing her dress and the strap in one swift move, she was at the door of the room a second later. “I thought you trusted me”, she whispered in a pained voice as she slid the door open, her body tense, her eyes shut tight.

“Asuka, stop.”

Against her better judgment, against the decision of the victorious side of her psyche, she obeyed.

“You don’t get to command me”, she hissed in contrary to her actions, her fists balled, her back still turned. “The scene is over. You ended it, with one word. That’s your right, yes, but don’t play games with me now… just don’t.”

“Yes, I used the word”, he managed to keep his voice calm and focused despite panic and anxiety rising within him. “But I didn’t tell you to leave when you used it once upon a time, right? You can speak it now…” he took a deep breath. “And I will let you walk away, no questions, no orders, nothing. Or you can hear me out.”

Asuka remained silent; she stood there, her back turned to him, for what felt like an eternity in his mind.

***

Indeterminate time passed as thoughts rampaged through her mind, routed armies of respect and common sense suddenly gaining a second wind after their opponents suffering sudden ambush by Shinji’s voice – and the reasonable argument he presented in it. The Vicious Overthinking Engine was gladly churning out armaments for both sides, while the Great Asuka’s Wonderful Rationalization Engine remained inoperable in the face of overwhelming emotional chaos.

_‘Just walk away, he’s manipulating you.’_

_‘Listen to him, he’s making sense.’_

_‘Forget him, he hates you already, you are deluding yourself, nobody could ever care about you.’_

_‘He likes you, you’re the most important person in the world to him.’_

_‘Leave. Don’t play by his rules.’_

_‘Turn around, give him the benefit of a doubt, he cares about you.’_

_‘Turn around now, and he will lose all respect of you.’_

_‘He respects you too deeply to just lose it, he’s more likely to think less of you if you throw a tantrum.’_

_‘Speak the word and walk away. You have your dignity. It’s all you have in the end.’_

_‘You have **him**, too. Stay, there’s nothing undignified in listening.’_

_‘He has just words to give, nothing more, words as hollow as his interest in you.’_

_‘He cares. He shows that a lot. Not just by words’_

_‘Hollow gestures. He just wants your body.’_

_‘**Silence, all of you!**’_

Asuka’s own internal scream resonated inside her head, her nails driven into the flesh of her palms, her eyes shut tight. _‘Fuck you all, some great help you are!’_ she directed her anger at the chaos.

The battle suddenly stopped, both sides laid low by the force of her outburst; the VOE screeched to a halt and immediately started to claim to have no part in the events. Keeping her anger focused inwards, Asuka turned around, her arms moving slowly to finally cross on her chest, her hands no longer in fists, her eyes wild.

“Speak”, she demanded, her voice less stern than she tried to make it and calmer than she expected it to be. “I promise to listen to the end before I kill you.”

***

Shinji took a deep breath. “Close the door, please”, he requested; Asuka shrugged and complied.

“Thank you”, he took another deep breath. “Asuka, I…” he shook his head. _‘No point in repeating “I won’t do it”, right?’_ he realized. _‘Here goes… thank gods that I took my time with the source material…’_

“There is an alternative. I… I’ve been reading up. And… I have an idea. That may satisfy you.”

She tilted her head. “If this is some pervy–” she stopped herself, seeing his face. He seemed _hurt_ by her words.

“It is not”, he replied slowly. “Well, not in the intent”, he glared aside, eliciting Asuka’s look that was both confused and interested. “You can always use the word if it feels wrong, right?” he smiled a sad smile.

“Keep going”, she replied, her voice a tone less aggressive.

“As I said, I’ve been reading up…” he resumed.

As he spoke, Asuka’s expression changed from ‘maybe I will not turn away, maybe I will listen’ to ‘rapt and interested, with just a façade of disdain’ to ‘definitely interested and not trying to hide it’ within space of about ten sentences as Shinji elaborated on his alternative plan.

“Okay, I’m not killing you”, she finally nodded as she let out the breath that she was not aware she was holding. “I’m… willing to try, stu–ineffective as it sounds. But I have a… request.”

“Yes?” he asked cautiously.

“If this doesn’t work, we try a variant **I** thought about”, she requested.

“Asuka–” he tried to protest.

She raised her hand, one finger up. “We’re negotiating, right?”

He nodded cautiously.

“Then that’s my condition. I promise it won’t be on my bottom, you have already shown you won’t budge on that. Fine. But I need a backup plan before I go with yours”, she explained.

He considered her words for a moment. “Agreed… as long as this is sane enough”, he nodded.

“This ship has sailed long ago”, Asuka chuckled sadly. “But let’s move one step at a time, okay? I can promise it will be safe enough. Will that do?”

Shinji nodded cautiously again. He did not seem entirely convinced – but endangering the already precarious situation was not an option.

“Let’s go then”, Asuka declared.

Shinji tilted his head. “Go?”

“There’s not enough space here, right? Come to my room”, she suddenly smiled.

_‘So, what is it now? “Farewell sanity, but with sanity, farewell loneliness?”’_, he pondered as he followed her. _‘If so, I’ll take it gladly. With someone like her, I guess I can do away with sanity’_, he smiled to himself.

With that smile, he entered her room, pondering whether he had just resolved a dangerous situation – or completely doomed himself and everything that ever mattered to him.


	14. Chapter 14

Asuka’s room was without a doubt familiar to Shinji – after all, it was his before she displaced him and he visited it regularly to deliver and – sometimes – pick up laundry, not to mention to dust, vacuum, and do all those boring things he found himself taking care of since he came to live under Misato’s roof.

But now it was different – and not only because of the unusual hour. This time, he was coming in for a pretty unusual purpose – and this time, he was very much invited, not just ignored or merely tolerated.

And he was quite certain this was going to be a very important visit.

***

The distance between Shinji’s room and her own was not a long one: it was literally just a few meters. Regardless, for Asuka, it felt like a journey. A part of her mind, one that was somehow still managing to be rational and calm in the chaos that was raging in her soul, likened her position to that of Orpheus returning from Hades; she had to force herself not to look back all the way. She might have subdued her pride enough to listen to Shinji and agree to try his idea, but she was far from abandoning the concept altogether. Checking whether he followed her would mean she doubted her influence on him – and that would be showing the wrong kind of weakness. The fact that her mind allowed the thought about showing him any kind of weakness somehow eluded her for the moment.

Her torment ended only when she heard the door slide close; releasing the breath she unwittingly held, she slowly turned around and fixated her gaze at him, her hands crossed on her chest again.

“Let’s be clear on one thing, Shinji”, she started, her voice _almost_ unwavering. “I am still angry with you for… well, you know perfectly for what. But you are not wrong, and you deserve a chance to make…” she hesitated, seeing his raised eyebrow. _‘Nope. Wrong. That’s blaming. And I just told him he was not in the wrong’_, she realized and took a deep breath. “No, scratch that. We deserve a chance to be happy. And…” she paused again. “And I **want** us to be happy. And–”

“Asuka, you don’t have to explain yourself, you know?” he smiled cautiously. “I… I think I understand.”

“Do you?!” she snapped back far too loud for comfort before lowering her voice. “Because… because I **don’t**. I don’t…” she paused and raised her hand. “Can I get an advance for swearing? Because I really can’t speak of it while keeping proper. I guess I’m not much of a lady”, she chuckled weakly.

Shinji tried his best not to laugh; he managed to reduce it into a subdued chuckle. “Speak freely. Unless you say something really, really outrageous, or start insulting my ancestors, it won’t be more than five anyway.”

She shot him a glare that was somewhat mitigated by an unwitting smile. “God, you’re… never mind. Okay, where was I… right”, she straightened and looked him in the eye again. “I really don’t understand, I really just want to be happy for once, and you do that to me! Not just with the fucking spankings, even if they help a lot, but just by **being** there”, she hesitated, then shook her head, determination in her eyes. “I haven’t had a single fucking nightmare on the nights I am with you, you know? And still, sometimes you make me so verdammt **wütend**”, she paused for a second, realizing something was wrong. “So fucking **angry** I want to slap you! Beat you! And then immediately haul you into a dark corner and present my ass to you for the well-deserved punishment! What… what did you make me into?” she finished, glaring at him and panting from the effort of screaming in whispers.

Shinji’s face was expressing mixed feelings; he just stood there for a long while before taking the two steps separating them and pulling her into a fierce hug. “I don’t know, Asuka”, he whispered into her ear; she shivered, hearing _that_ voice out of context. “But I am **fine** with what… no, I really **like** what I see. And… I don’t think **I** made you like that. I think… I think I just helped? Just pulled it out. It was you who asked me to do that, right? In the beginning?”

“Fuck. I… I don’t know”, she closed her eyes and embraced him in turn.

Seconds passed, turning to minutes. They stood there, her nude, bruised form entangled with his bed-dressed shape. Finally, Asuka loosened her grip on him, pulled away, and looked him in the face. He was not surprised to see tears running down her cheeks; his own eyes were somewhat misty, too.

“And that’s another of your doings, you bastard”, she smiled. “I’m not afraid to show you this face. Consider yourself privileged, anyone else and I would rip their eyes out for seeing this.”

Shinji smiled awkwardly. “I… I really hope you’re not expecting me to recite some appropriate poetry or give you a witty quote at this moment. I know I should, I just… can’t.”

Asuka chuckled. “Don’t. Unless it is some battle saga”, she spoke in a flippant voice before her face turned serious again. “I… I think I can manage without, tonight”, she declared in a softer voice. “Without a spanking, I mean.”

“Asuka–”

“Choose your words carefully now. If you wanted to offer me a pity-spanking now…”

He closed his eyes for a moment. When he reopened them, he saw Asuka’s determined expression, something that could easily be seen as a defensive posture.

“Asuka. I agreed to something, correct?” he started carefully. “And I can give it to you… unless you really changed your mind. Not out of pity. You said you need it, and I agreed before, right? Do you still want it?”

Asuka looked aside. “How much do I get for lying?” she asked in a tense voice.

“Just five more. But… you trust me, right? Will you tell me the truth if I ask you to?”

She closed her eyes, her body tensing again. “Shinji”, she whispered. “Will you do something for me?”

Against better judgment, he replied without thinking: “Anything.”

“**Make** me”, she whispered just above the inaudible. “Don’t **ask** me. **Force** me, **order** me, I don’t know.”

He looked at her, his expression confused.

“Please. Say no to that, and I will never ask again.”

He took a deep breath, held it, and released it slowly. _‘Is this it? Make it or break it? Gods, give me wit and will’_, he half-prayed, not even sure at whom; his knowledge of _kami_ was quite limited, and he was not sure there was one appropriate for this conundrum. But prayer or not, heard or not, this was a thought that was enough to make him act.

***

“Look at me”, he commanded.

She turned her head slowly. Speaking strictly, she was looking at him from above, being half-a-head taller; but she was not looking down on him. Her gaze expressed many things: worry, hope, fear, desire, anger.

“Take a seat, Asuka”, he pointed to her bed; she hesitantly obeyed, confusion joining the expressions in her eyes. The soft mattress mitigated the bruising; the almost imperceptible discomfort did not distract her.

He smiled as she looked up at him. “Better, I think. Now, Asuka. You know lying is a bad thing. Not just because it brings punishment, but it also hurts you and it hurts me. Do you understand that?”

She nodded automatically. She felt… odd. Not wrong – just odd. It was all strange to her – but it felt very right. A part of her mind screamed at her to run, to attack Shinji, to yell, to throw him out.

She ignored it and focused on his voice.

“Good”, he continued. “Now, be a good girl and tell me something”, he paused as he noticed a twitch on her face, a momentary change in her glare; deciding it was too little to stop, he kept going. “Do you think you deserve to be punished tonight?”

***

Last words were formulated as a question and spoken in a soft, low tone – but to Asuka, they felt like a strike of the strap. She felt them ringing in her head; this was not a question: this was an expression of her desires.

She replied before the screaming part of her mind stopped her: “Yes. Please.”

“And how do you think you should be punished?” he asked in the same tone.

She took a few deep breaths as her face and ears turned red. _‘I must be leaving a stain on the sheet already, fuck me… what am I doing? One word, and this ends. On the other hand, one word, and this ends…’_ she chuckled internally. _‘No. In for a penny, in for a pound, in for a… __stone? Metric ton? Bank vault__?’_

She drover her nails into the mattress and clenched her jaw.

_‘He gave me all the choice in the world. And I made that choice already, didn’t I?’_

***

Shinji was waiting patiently, tracking Asuka’s changing expressions. When she finally spoke, he had to lean in to hear her words: “You… I should be ordered to lie across your lap, you should tell me why I deserve to be punished, and then spank me with your hand until **you** feel satisfied”, she managed on one breath.

Shinji smiled. “Is that what you want?” he asked.

There was another pause. _‘For fuck’s sake, are you trying to talk me out of this, or is this another way to torment me? To make me **beg** for that? Every time you ask, you risk that I make another–oh. Right. I can just **ask**.”_

“Yes. Please. I **need** that–” she choked for a moment before resuming in an almost inaudible whisper. “Do you want me to **beg**?”

He shivered. For a moment, an image appeared in his mind: Asuka, kneeling in front of him, kissing his hand, looking up at him with pleading eyes, repeating ‘please’ in a soft whisper… It was a very tempting image, an image he knew was just an order away.

_‘Why do I like this? Why wouldn’t I mind this?’_

He shook his head, banishing the picture. It went away with a soft whisper: _‘someday…’_

Shaking that off as well, he extended his hand to her. “Stand up”, he commanded. As she obeyed, he noticed her gaze changed: there was no longer fear or anger in it – just hope, expectation, anticipation.

He sat down on the bed, the naked redhead standing in front of him. Normally, he would be at least distracted, if not flummoxed by that sight. But now… it felt less _sexual_ – and far more _intimate_.

“Asuka…” he started, his voice uncertain. _‘No, that will not do.’_

“Asuka”, he tried again. “You are… you are a wonderful person”, he spoke up, eliciting a confused look from her. “But there are still many things you do wrong. I know you want to do better, and this is why I am going to punish you now for your misdeeds, your mistakes. Lay down… with your head here”, he patted one side of the bed.

She obeyed, climbing the bed slowly and carefully positioning herself as he commanded. Three problems became immediately apparent: her wetness was against the skin of his thigh, her exposed bottom was perfectly presented, and his resulting erection immediately started pressing against her belly,

“Asuka?” he whispered.

“It’s fine. Perfectly fine”, she wiggled with a small smirk. “Do your duty… please”, she whispered back, her voice strange, but indisputably warm.

He smiled and resumed in his _voice_. “This is different from strapping, the count is not exactly relevant; we’ll leave numbers to a different time. Now… I will determine how long it will be for each… issue. First issue: excessive aggression.”

Normally, this would be the moment to press the strap against Asuka’s bare bottom. There was a problem, though: there was no strap, just his hand – and the aforementioned, very bare bottom. Taking yet another deep breath, he did the only logical thing: he pressed his flat palm against the bruised skin.

***

Asuka did her best to stifle the moan that was about to escape her lips. Aside from providing the sensation of someone touching her tender bottom – a surprisingly different feeling in comparison to doing it herself – Shinji had unwittingly increased the pressure his thigh executed on her definitely sensitive clit and pussy.

_‘God, if I feel like this now, I wonder if I don’t accidentally **orgasm** while he’s spanking me… that’d be **something**. What would he think of me…’_

She pondered that for a moment before a sudden realization struck her.

_‘He’d accept it. He’d simply accept it and smile, perhaps even giving me a moment to recover before he resumed the spanking. He is like that. He is just like that. God, this is… of course. Fuck, he should list “stupidity” as the first charge against me. And I kept thinking it was his flaw. No, this is–”_

Suddenly, the first hit fell on her tender bottom. The thoughts were hastily filed away; Asuka knew the understanding would not fade, not with her memory trained to retain details under stress – but now, the sensations were more important.

And they were not like she expected them to be.

***

Shinji was by no means experienced in the art of delivering punishment – reasonably so, as his only spankee ever was Asuka, and it always happened in very specific, narrow conditions. But he did read enough on the subject to know how to start – and what to look for in reactions.

He kept talking in a soft, low voice: telling her that she can be aggressive, but not to excess, telling her that too much anger was bad. It was not exactly a sermon, not a speech – in essence, he kept saying the same things over and over, just in slightly different words, before pausing the spanking, admonishing her about something different, and resuming.

The words did not matter anymore.

She was just drowning in the sound of his voice.

***

The voice was, of course, not the only sensation; this was a spanking, it was supposed to hurt – and it did. But the pain was very different; it was there, of course, which was no surprise considering the bruising and Shinji’s strength – but the blows did not exactly _hurt_, they _smarted_ at best. Each swat passed through her skin, left a mark, warmed it up, but then it traveled further, reaching her thoughts, her emotions, her feelings.

It was difficult for her to name her reactions, to label her feelings; some of them were familiar: the acceptance of punishment, the rising heat, the indisputable arousal, the relief from guilt, the odd gratitude towards Shinji – and many others she had time to feel, understand, and accept.

But there were also others, harder to nail down. They definitely belonged in the ‘good’ side – even if she currently felt like a little child, chided and put into place, scolded for being aggressive, acting insensitively, or displaying some other flaw.

Combined with her age and station, contrasted to his station and lack of rank, this was not just demeaning. This was outright humiliating.

Despite all that, she felt _good. _She felt _safe_. She was no longer _afraid._ She felt _liberated_.

This realization lit up in her brain like a fiery explosion.

“Gott im Himmel…”

The spanking ceased abruptly. “Asuka?”

She turned the blood-red face to him and smiled an elated smile, her eyes misty. “Please… keep going. You… you were around ‘excessive complaining’, I think?”

He looked at her with surprise in her eyes but could not refuse, not after seeing the expression on her face. He just nodded – and resumed his ministrations.

The soft – and not so soft – swats kept falling, thoroughly covering the skin of her bottom, evenly spread, delivered methodically and carefully.

The touch of his hand, even when it was delivering blows to her bruised skin, felt like a caress.

Asuka stopped thinking; she lost herself in the sensation. Soon, he paused again, just for a short moment, admonished her about something else – her violence against classmates, if she understood correctly – and resumed the punishment.

No, the caress.

She realized that it all became one to her. Her tears started to flow freely; her mind went blank with a final thought: _‘This is just.’_

***

The first sensation that brought her to reality was a very warm hand resting on her tailbone.

“I think that is all I could think of” he admitted. “How do you feel?”

Asuka tried to reply, but her return to reality was slow. He was, as always, waiting patiently for her to respond.

“Can I get up?” she finally asked in a soft, sweet voice, so uncharacteristic that Shinji’s brain refused to process it for a few seconds.

“Yes”, he finally replied. “Come to me”, he directed her carefully; after a few seconds of confusion, she sat on his knees, facing him.

“Thank you” she smiled.

“I don’t think we’re done yet”, he smiled; she blinked in response.

“More?” was all she could ask, her voice almost hopeful.

He shook his head with a smile and pulled her into a hug; she sunk into him, wrapping her hands tightly around his back. Silence reigned as they just enjoyed the moment.

“I… I think I will sleep well tonight”, she whispered in his ear after indeterminate time. “Thank you.”

“Do… do you want me to stay?” he asked, his voice also just above a whisper.

_‘I don’t want you to leave, ever. I don’t want to be alone ever again’ _was the answer that teetered on the verge of her mind, ready to be spoken out. But something was stopping her; something she was free of for the sweetest moment, just a few moments before.

She nodded frantically. “Please”, she whispered.

“I will need to visit the bathroom first”, he admitted in a serious voice, eliciting a soft giggle in response.

_‘Do you want me to take care of that?’_ was a treacherous thought that appeared in her mind. Its appearance did not worry her, she was used to her mind playing such tricks on her. What nearly scared her was the fact that she barely caught herself before speaking it out loud.

_‘Fuck. If he told me to kneel and suck him off here and now, or to lay back spread my legs, I would. Fuck, I would even present my ass to him like… fuck. And… and that would be perfectly fine and consensual. God, am I really such a slut that I…’_ she realized that the Vicious Overthinking Engine surreptitiously started again and her fears made it run far too fast. Suddenly aware where this could lead, she stepped on the brakes the best she could – with anger._ ‘No, no, no, no. Fuck you. Not now. Maybe not ever, if I can help it, but definitely not right now.’_

“Shinji”, she spoke up, straightening in his lap, her voice suddenly far more conscious and carrying a hint of anger. The haze was gone, burned away by the inward fury, but it was a small price to pay for stopping the vicious train of thoughts. “I’m currently, well”, she struggled with words for a moment. “Altered. Yes. Altered. I…” she shook her head. He looked at her, his gaze worried. Her eyes expressed some of the fire that was burning inside of her right now, strongly conflicting with the relaxed visage she wore just seconds ago. “Okay, once more: I need to tell you something, but if I do it now, it will be a mess. Promise me something, okay?”

“Of course”, he nodded. “What is it, Asuka?”

“We will marinate Misato tomorrow, spices and vodka and all that, and then we meet here. Sober, clothed, without any spanking, keeping at least a foot of distance, face to face. And we will talk”, she proposed. “I guess rubbing it off before would also be in order”, she chuckled with more venom in her voice than she anticipated. “Can you promise me that?” she refocused on him.

He nodded. “Yes?”

“And one more thing: if I resist that tomorrow, or worse, if I claim I don’t remember promising you that, I give you every right to make me. This or another way, by any means necessary. Promise me you do, okay?”

Shinji tilted his head. “So let me get this straight…” he raised his hand. “Current you, in an altered state of mind, is telling me to force future you, one that is going to be sober and straight, to talk to me seriously? In other words, to remind you that you said ‘we need to talk’?”

“About this very night, and all that. Pretty much, yes”, she confirmed without hesitation. “Will you?” her glare became almost pleading, even if the voice remained firm.

“I promise”, he declared seriously. “If you promise not to maul me for that.”

“That I swear”, she declared with equal gravity. “Phew”, her tone turned light again, her focus and anger exhausted. She made a quick check on her mindscape; to her relief, neither forces nor engines remained operational. “That out of the way… Take your time in the bathroom… but I’ll be surprised if you will take long”, she grinned, letting that internal relief seep into her tone. “But don’t come back until the door is opened, okay?”

He raised his eyebrow. “Because you’ll be taking care of the same business, in this very bed?”

She giggled, clearly light-headed once more after her focus had waned. “In this very bed, thinking of–” she reached for his hand and placed a soft kiss on its back, then on every single finger separately “–what you did to me today.”

“Asuka, I–” his voice got stuck in his throat.

She giggled again. “I like when you make that face”, she grinned. “Off we go!” she declared as she jumped off his lap – and immediately collapsed to the floor.

“Asuka, are you–”

“Fine, just fine!” she protested in a low voice. “My knees got… wobbly”, she explained as she managed to crawl back onto the bed, holding to the bedframe. “Please, let’s get it over with so we can go to sleep”, she pleaded. _‘And please go before I lose my restraint and start rubbing it off right in front of you’_, she managed not to say aloud – but the need was clear in her gaze; that was enough for Shinji to finally acquiesce.

***

_‘I’m really glad girls hide their ‘boners’ better. I wonder what he’d think of me if he knew what it does to me… he’s aware, sure, but the extend…’_

After the door closed behind Shinji, she rose and stretched; her bottom hurt quite a bit, more that she realized during the spanking itself – but it was a good feeling, a feeling she got used to, a feeling she truly cherished now. She rubbed the warm skin and nearly purred.

_‘I… it’s addictive. Fuck me. It’s so addictive that he could really force me to do things for him just to keep those coming’,_ she realized with returning fear. _‘Do things **to** him, even. Not that he would… even with that newfound spine of his, he’s still the good boy who wouldn’t think about anything ‘dirty’, would he?’_ she smiled to herself, dampening the fear.

A sudden, uninvited thought crossed her mind.

_‘What if he did? Forget making me, I’d fight him of course, but what if he actually **asked**?’_ she pondered. _‘Not that he ever would, but what would I do?’_

A few disjointed images crossed her mind. She knew quite well how the particular acts were performed, even if she never saw them in the flesh; her life might have been filled with work and training, but both quality educational materials and not-so-quality pornography were available – and she was curious enough to consume both. But it was different to see a porn video – and it was very different to imagine her own hands closing on his penis, perhaps even kissing it, perhaps even–

_‘Okay. Stop’_, she decided before realizing that this was exactly the moment for such thoughts. _‘Oh fuck it. Commencing round one!’_ she giggled as she stretched comfortably on the bed and reached down. Seconds later she realized a minor mistake she made – but it was too late to correct it if she wanted to maintain the momentum.

_‘Oh fuck it, Misato’s out and he’ll enjoy the concert.’_

***

She was right on all accounts. The sounds reached Shinji as he was washing up a minute after the first, very quick round. He held a very firm resolution about this being the only one. Of course, in those circumstances, his brain and his penis, acting in concert, quickly convinced him that it was simply not going to be the case. A large package of imagined pictures, anticipated smells, and very real sounds made a very intense, definitely longer, and surely more fulfilling round two.

***

Asuka was recovering. Getting up and opening the door was still a challenge, as round three has left her even less willing to walk than the spanking itself – but leaving them closed meant making Shinji wait. Normally, that would not be a problem – but now, she held a rather intense desire to just **hold** him.

Although this would, just out of sheer courtesy, require her to at least wash her hands.

***

The bathroom door slid aside. Two teenagers stared at each other for a few awkward seconds.

“I’m… done”, Shinji finally declared. “Will you need long?”

“I just need to wash my hands”, Asuka replied, her cheeks redder than her hair. “Go to my room already, okay?”

Shinji nodded and followed her directions; Asuka was left alone in the bathroom – alone with her thoughts and the mirror. And the mirror certainly showed an interesting image.

Her red hair was in complete disarray, her eyes red and puffy – not as much as they were after a full-blown strapping, but still – and her cheeks were red indeed.

_‘If Misato saw me in that state, with that face, nude as I am, and smelling like a bitch in heat, she’d have to be dead drunk not to connect the dots. Funny thing, she’d be kind of wrong… but not by much’_, Asuka chuckled as she took care of the pre-bed business. _‘God, and now I’m going to go back there, sink into his arms in that sorry, disheveled state, and be shamelessly happy about that? And he is going to be fine, maybe even happy with that? Have I died and gone to heaven?’_

She paused.

_‘And I was stupid enough to question whether I deserve that. God knows I do, having saved humanity several times over. And he does, too.’_

She stared at her reflection for a long, long while.

_‘Oh, fuck it. I don’t intend to die. I’m going to carve out that small piece of heaven here’_, she paused, knowing well what the next words should be. Not long ago, she would be afraid to speak them out loud, or even to let them to her mind. Not anymore.

“With him. I’m going to carve that small piece of heaven for me – and for him. And fuck anyone who would stand in our way.”

***

Somewhere in the depths of the Geofront, a lone man awoke to a vicious sneezing attack that came without an apparent reason.

***

“I’m coming in, are you decent?”

Shinji raised his eyebrow as Asuka entered her own room and closed the door behind her. Her question would make **some** sense, if not for the fact that she was still completely naked – and confusingly unperturbed by that fact.

“More decent than you are, Asuka”, Shinji retorted, putting a random manga he was reading back on the shelf.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to sleep like that”, she declared, reached for a t-shirt, and pulled it on. “See? Ready.”

Shinji chuckled. “Well, that’s surely an improvement. At least you won’t be cold.”

She looked at him with amusement. “Well, my legs never get cold, my bottom is quite hot thanks to you, and…” she trailed off, seeing Shinji’s rapidly reddening ears. She grinned. “Good to know you’re not **that** blasé about me, yet. Please, don’t”, she raised her hand, seeing him open his mouth. “Let’s go to sleep, okay? It’s been… a very enlightening evening, but it’s… well, late. So, come to bed”, she turned to him. “Feel honored, you’re the first m-boy that is going to grace this bed with his presence.”

Shinji raised an eyebrow: “It was **my** bed, once, you know. I ‘graced’ it nightly.”

Asuka’s eyebrows raised and she smirked. “Is it how boys call it?”

Shinji’s colors returned to beet-red. “No, I mean not like this, I mean–”

Asuka let him stew for a few seconds before grabbing his hand. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed, you know?”

“‘Cute’ is not something I like to hear about myself, you know?” he retorted, his voice suddenly grumbling. “Misato… abuses it, knowing that all too well. I’d rather you didn’t.”

Asuka narrowed her eyes. “Is this another thing you are going to punish me for?”

He took a deep breath. Something was telling him his answer to his was going to be important. “No. This is a polite request, but I stand by it. I’m telling you I don’t like it and I’m asking you not to use it.”

“Or what?” the tone did not change.

He took another deep breath. _‘It kind of feels like talking with a child. But that’s what we are, right? We were never properly raised… sometimes she’s the adult, sometimes it’s me. Kind of.’_

“Or I will be disappointed in you, Asuka. But it is not something I can punish you for… unless we agree I can.”

Asuka’s expression was inscrutable.

_‘Fuck me. He finally gets it… either by instinct, or by reason, but I think he gets it.’_

“Okay, Shinji. I get it. Can’t promise I won’t use it… well, you know me”, she chuckled.

“Is this a convoluted way to tell me ‘Yes, I want this to be punishable’?” he asked, his voice serious. “Because if we agree to add to the count every time you call me ‘cute’, and you will accept the punishment, I can live with you calling me that once in a while”, he smiled.

She turned in place to hide her blush from him. _‘With great pleasure’_ was something she really wanted to say. Instead, she spoke up. “Okay, I’ll regret it. I know I will. But fuck me, I’ll bite that one. I agree. I won’t go out of my way to call you ‘cute’ or anything like that, but if I slip, treat it like another fiver. Okay?”

“Okay. Agreed”, he smiled.

“Now, that’s… enough thinking and talking”, she said as she carefully lied on the bed. “I really want to sleep. Do your duty”, she demanded. “I mean, you other – oh fuck, you know what I mean!”

He smiled and slid under the covers next to her. “As you wish… but that’s five more for language… once your bottom is healed.”

She stuck out her tongue in response; he could not help but ponder how cute she looked with nose wrinkled like that – but saying that would most likely start another conversation, which Asuka empathically demanded to stop for this night. Thus, he could only hope to see the same picture under better circumstances – and be able to compliment her on that.

Having settled in the spooning position, Shinji carefully moved his hand over her stomach and pulled Asuka closer. They relished in familiar sensations: the warmth of their bodies, the heat of her freshly-spanked skin in his lap, his strong embrace, her soft skin under his hands, the steady breaths audible between them.

“Shinji…” Asuka started, her voice carrying a tone of uncertainty.

“Yes?” he asked as his hand froze.

She let out a sigh. “I… I won’t kill you if you stray up, okay?” she whispered.

“Up?” she asked, bemused.

“Do I need to draw a map for you?” her voice was amused as her hand took his, guiding it a few centimeters into the area of her body his brain still labeled with DANGER ZONE: DEATH IMMINENT. His hand rested on the softness of her skin, feeling the shape and cupping it carefully yet firmly. Shinji’s body – represented in this case by his parasympathetic nervous system – immediately expressed its approval, while his brain was forced to parse the fact that Shinji was, according to all indications, both resting his hand on Asuka’s breast and was not in the process of being pummeled to death by aforementioned Asuka’s fists.

The redhead giggled as she suddenly sensed the familiar pressure against her bottom; she could easily imagine how her bedmate’s face could look right now.

“So… this is how I regulate the pressure?”

***

The next morning was just the same as many before – early, cold, and gray. But it had something others sorely lacked.

Asuka woke up in a tight embrace, Shinji’s hand still on her breast, their legs intertwined – and rested as she has not been–

_‘Not since I spent the previous night with him, or actually not since I got a proper ass-whopping. Talk about addiction…’_ she realized. _‘But who cares, if I don’t wake up with hatred towards everything? But some things should definitely **not** change…’_

With that thought, she disentangled herself from him and sat on the bed; the sensation distracted her for a moment, bringing a smile to her face. A growling stomach disrupted that, though.

“Hey, wake up, sleepyhead”, she poked Shinji in his stomach. “I’m hungry.”

“Hm?” he asked, half-asleep. “Wht… what time is it?”

“Earlier than I usually rise, but about your alarm time”, she explained. “Do your other duty and make me breakfast.”

He quickly shook the haze of sleep off. “Oh. Right. Give me a moment”, he replied in a more conscious voice and dropped his feet from the bed. Asuka could not help but notice a bulge in his briefs.

“Is that the famous ‘morning wood’?” she asked with a smirk. It was not the first time she saw him sprout a mast, of course – but this was the first time she felt perfectly comfortable asking the question.

“Wha–” he covered himself in a single, panicked movement.

_‘Let me take care of that for you_’, was a thought that crossed her mind once more, having been brutally squashed yesterday. She shot it down even faster this time. “Well, it definitely is, but I guess that’s your problem at hand”, she grinned. “Hey, don’t keep the girl waiting!”

“Yes, ma’am”, he smiled as he jumped out of bed.

As he left, Asuka rolled on her back, wincing slightly and replaying the previous night in her mind’s eye.

_‘That hit the spot. It’s really all in your head, exactly as they say’_, she sighed. _‘The funny thing is I would kill anyone who tried to put me over their lap for a spanking, consequences be damned.’_

She dragged herself out of the bed and stretched. _‘Anyone but him. I trust him. I rely on him. I **like** him.’_

_‘Be honest. Be honest, for once’_ sounded in her head, uninvited but strong. She clenched her jaw, sucked on a breath, and forced herself to relax the tensing muscles.

Shivering, she slowly whispered the words that filled her with both hope and dread, her voice half-resigned, half-elated: “I think I’m falling in love with him”.

A tiny voice in her head giggled to that; along with that giggle, something far, far more terrifying crept into Asuka’s consciousness: _‘I think that ship had sailed long, long ago.’_

This was too much; Asuka knew only one reply to that: she burst out laughing, loud enough to be heard in the whole apartment and beyond – eliciting a worried thought from Shinji and a loud groan from painfully waking Misato.

_‘This day is going to be interesting in many, many ways. But I think I can face it’_, she grinned openly as she started her morning routine. ‘_Especially with him around.’_


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get to the content, there is a minor thing I thought I should write about. It was brought to my attention that while I warned the readers about the dangers of fumbling and unsafe BDSM, I did not warn them of the dangers of drinking their guardians under the table. While I believe my readers are far too smart to do that (and – I hope – over the age when they would need a legal guardian), I will state it explicitly: spiking someone’s drink without their consent is an immoral deed, a bad idea, a dangerous thing (as people can react adversely to too much alcohol), not to mention – at least in some jurisdictions – an illegal action. Long story short: don’t, unless you know that the recipient knows of it and wants it.

_Friday afternoon_

The sound of the final school bell was fading quickly; Asuka was already on her way out, while Shinji was discussing something with Kensuke. Some time ago, the redhead would simply ignore him or taunt him about some ‘dirty business with that perv’; now, she just walked out the school gates and settled against the wall in a back alley no further than two hundred meters down the street.

There, she waited as a spider would for its prey. Except the intent was not to devour.

Well, at least not immediately.

***

“Hi, Shinji, ready to face me?” she started with a sweet voice just as he entered the field of view. For a few seconds, she savored his panic that quickly turned into a fight reaction with a proper stance, then into a relaxed posture as he identified the source of the call.

“That’s five more, Asuka”, he let the breath out. “I think you’re at thirty now… no, thirty-five. I hope it was worth it”, he added, half-resigned, half-amused.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll make it worth it”, she retorted with a small blush. “What now?”

“Now, we are going shopping, if you’re willing to help. If not, I am going shopping”, he replied as the last few seconds never happened; still, Asuka knew very well he will remind her of it when the time was due.

“I can’t leave you with such a critical task. Someone could ambush you and take all your money”, she replied as she emerged from the alley. “And then we’d have no dinner – or, best case scenario, suffer through some shitty takeout. No, I’m helping you.”

Shinji chuckled and shook his head in response. “Well, I’m sure someone would be ambushing me, as I really look like I carry a lot of cash. And I’m quite sure Section 2 would not lift a finger to defend me.”

“They’re not following us too closely within the city unless we go into more questionable areas or start behaving oddly, you know”, Asuka pointed out. “Those areas are considered ‘safe’. So if someone was fast enough, you **would** be in danger. But with me – you’re perfectly safe”, she finished with a proud smile and her hands on her hips. “Shall we then?”

“By all means, madame”, managing to force a burst of laughter down to a chuckle.

“Mademoiselle, if anything”, Asuka corrected him automatically.

“Ah, of course. You’re not married yet. Right”, Shinji spoke up before their eyes met for a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

Shinji shook it off as quickly as he could, visibly squashing an apology attempt. “Let’s go. If we hurry, we’ll manage to get there before the first wave of crowds.”

“Yes. Definitely. Go”, Asuka nodded, trying her best not to look at him again.

_‘One thing at a time. One declaration at a time. Let’s not escalate this to a stampede of elephants. I can’t remember what the herd of elephants was called, but it was definitely not a stampede.’_

***

Taken over by her thoughts, Asuka did not realize until a few minutes later that Shinji took her hand; she also realized she was not familiar with the area they were crossing.

“Hey, have you decided to abduct me for some nefarious purpose?”

Shinji chuckled. “Yes, Asuka, definitely. There’s an altar just around the corner with all the dark-robed people, waiting just for the delivery of a virgin to be sacrificed”, he explained helpfully.

Asuka squashed the first joke that came to her mind; jabs were one thing, but putdowns were not on the menu today. The second thought sounded better: “Why would they need two virgins for?”

Shinji stopped, his expression dumbfounded for a few moments. Then, he started to laugh. “Asuka!” was the only word he managed to utter.

“Well, I guess it makes sense that you would enjoy the sound of my name, but I would be glad if you didn’t take it in vain”, she stated while maintaining a passable poker face and stable voice. “Lest you want to face my wrath.”

“Asuka…”

“You’re making it worse”, she quipped. “But I think we can skip the stoning… this time.”

Asuka’s non sequitur helped to bring Shinji out of the bout of laughter. “I… appreciate that”, he spoke up as he was regaining his breath. “Let me guess, this is some obscure reference I have no chance of getting, and you’re going to educate me at some point?”

“You’re taking half the fun out of it”, Asuka sulked. “But yes. After you get the proper background, and I am going to make sure you do, no matter how hard it will be to find that particular set of movies in Japan. Now, where are we and where are the hooded figures I am supposed to beat up?”

“Sorry, no aggression-management exercise for you today”, Shinji replied. “It’s just a shortcut I recently found when I was coming back from the arcade. You didn’t seem to mind when I led you here?”

Asuka’s ears lit up a tone. “I was… occupied. Too much on my mind, I suppose.”

“Want to talk about it?” he asked automatically.

Asuka’s expression turned inscrutable before she took a look around, made sure there was nobody to see them, took a step closer to him, and took his hands in hers.

“Shinji. Either you have a really crappy memory, or very strong denial mechanisms, or your mind is so preoccupied with my presence and indisputable beauty that you talk on autopilot”, she started in a serious tone. “I will assume the latter. Let me remind you: we are going to talk about it. Tonight. I already verified our vodka reserves, and I dearly hope you planned an appropriately spicy dinner for tonight, because if not, I am going to make you suffer in ways you cannot even begin to imagine.”

Shinji, distracted by the sudden gesture, the vice-like grip, and the sudden seriousness, regained his composure quickly enough to smile as Asuka finished. “Well, as long as you later take the responsibility”, he lowered his voice to a whisper and unwittingly gave it _that_ tone, “while lying across my lap, I can live with you making me suffer”, his smile widened as he noticed Asuka’s face blushing vividly. “But worry not”, he returned to his normal voice. “Everything is planned, and Misato has even been warned, per her request. She did not object, either.”

Asuka closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. _‘Murder him, marry him, or both. I guess I have to make the decision soon. And I have my suspicions what it will be.’_

“Asuka?” he squeezed her hands. The impulse snapped her out of her reverie.

_‘But not now, right?’_ she happily realized. “Grocery shopping. We were going grocery shopping, right? Lead the way”, she rattled out.

“As you wish”, he smiled, let go of her hands to her dismay that lasted about two seconds – exactly until he turned around, took her hand, and led her through the narrow streets. She quickly gave up on the attempts to orient herself; it did not matter where she was. After all, she trusted him with her life.

And that sudden thought occupied her mind far too much to consider anything else.

***

“And **you** said **I** make **my** food too hot?” Misato eyed Shinji over the steaming bowl.

“Is it bad?” he asked with worry clear in his voice.

“Definitely not”, she shook her head. “Don’t worry. But far from ‘go easy on the spices’ you promised, too.”

“Sorry”, he smiled sheepishly. “The recipe was very strict about the amounts and I didn’t dare to stray.”

Asuka’s sudden coughing attack turned heads. The redhead, now also red-faced, raised her hand and grabbed the glass of milk. “I’m fine”, she managed in a hoarse voice. “Went down the wrong hole”, she lied. “I’m fine, go back to your excuses, Third.”

Shinji frowned. “Those are not excuses, Asuka. I don’t trust my cooking experience enough to just change the proportions on the first try. I will – later.”

“Sure, sure”, she waved her hand dismissively and returned to the meal.

Misato smiled. This level of communication was far better than the violence they were – well, Asuka was – exercising just a mere two months ago. _‘I must be doing the parenting part of taking care of them quite well’_, she congratulated herself silently. _‘If only she was better at giving hints and he was better at reading them… oh well, they’ll get to it, and if not, I can always set some time aside to teach her a thing or two or tell him what to look for. But’_, she reached for the can to quell the fire in her mouth, _‘not today. Today, it’s good food, good drink, and sleep before doing the paperwork for the stupid new Unit… No rest for the responsible’_, she closed her ponderings as she finished the beer.

“Another one, Misato?” Asuka rose from the table as the squashed can landed in the bin.

“Yes please”, the older woman replied. “Good as your cooking is, Shin-chan, it’s impossible to eat without a beer.”

Asuka stifled a chuckle as her eyes escaped to the half-full glass of milk next to her bowl – but questioning Misato was the last thing on her mind right now. There were bigger things at stake here – and the Colonel’s role in them was clear: ‘go to sleep and do not disturb’.

And Asuka was working towards that goal with all means necessary.

***

Asuka’s heart was racing, reaching more than 120 beats per minute by her approximate reckoning. It was not much of a problem, of course – her body was quite healthy; during her training, she regularly reached 180 beats per minute without any risk, spiking beyond 200 on particularly extreme cardio tests. But it was not the number that was important – it was the reason: she was being nervous.

_‘What the fuck is wrong with me! **I** arranged that, **I** made him agree to it, **I** made it happen! It is **him** that should be nervous, shaking before coming here, not me!’_ she kept convincing herself.

A quick check on her pulse told her the argumentation did not work at all.

_‘If he doesn’t come here quickly, I am going to either have a heart attack, or I am going to go there, grab him by any portion of anatomy closest to my hands, and haul him here. For fuck’s sake, making me wait like this in plain cruel!’_

Fuming with anger, she stretched on the bed. A quick glance at the clock has told her that she has been waiting for the whole three minutes. _‘Oh. Okay, I’ll give him a few more, I guess. I can be patient, too!’_ she lied to herself, huffed, and returned to the only reasonable activity right now: staring at the ceiling.

***

Shinji’s heart was about to leap out of his chest – or at least bruise his ribs from the repeated attempts.

_‘She’s not going to harm me, she… cares, somehow. She wants to make things clear, she wants to…’_

Shinji was staring at his reflection in the mirror. He, once more, came to a worrying realization that he did not know what Asuka really wanted of him.

_‘Well, the purpose of today is to state it, loud and clear, right?’_

He took another deep breath. _‘Gods, why is this so complicated? Can’t we just–’_

His palm met his face.

_‘Yeah. Can’t we just **talk it out**?’_

Chuckling at the absurdity of the situation, he shook his head. _‘It’s rude to keep the lady waiting, right?’_

***

A soft knock on the door interrupted Asuka’s train of thoughts and made her jump up on her bed. Of course, this did nothing to calm her pulse. “Enter”, she commanded, her voice shaky.

“Hi Asuka, sorry to make you wait”, Shinji slid into the room and closed the door behind him.

She shook her head. “I didn’t drag you here by your hair, right? It means you’re not exactly late. But. You are here, so – sit down, because…” she trailed off.

He raised his eyebrow “…because we Need To Talk?” he smiled.

“Pretty much”, she looked aside. “But let’s shove the terror aside, okay? Come here!” she demanded. He complied, dropping on the bed in front of her.

For a few seconds, they just stared at each other; Asuka was sitting at the head of the bed, her legs aside; Shinji was at the foot, cross-legged; they kept less than half a meter of distance, well within hand’s grasp. Both were dressed for bed, wearing their usual t-shirts and underwear. _‘Since when I became comfortable enough to let her see me like this?’_ Shinji pondered. _‘I suppose since I saw her like this… and worse. It feels… homely’_, he realized. _‘But I suppose this is not the subject for today…’_

The silence continued, their growing agitation slowly becoming obvious in their expressions, in their accelerated breaths, in their small, but obvious blushes. The only sources of light were the bed lamp and some of the light coming from the street; still, they were able to watch each other quite well.

“So…” Shinji started. “I don’t know where to begin”, he smiled meekly.

Asuka’s eyes escaped somewhere towards the window. “We… have a few things at hand. But first things first. Thank you”, her eyes suddenly returned to catch his. “For everything you did for me… to me… with me… well, for everything”, she blushed deeper. “I… you helped me to understand a few things. And…” she paused. “And if you ever had any doubts or second-guesses, there were missteps, but… but while I sometimes get angry at you, I don’t… ich kann dir nicht lange böse sein”, she paused. “Scheisse”, she shook her head and balled her fists. “Und man sagt, dass es in einer anderen Sprache einfacher ist… das war aber eine verdammte Lüge”, she wiped a tear from her eye with a fist and looked aside.

“Asuka?” he probed. “You do know I don’t speak German.”

She smiled through the tears. “I’ll teach you if you want. I’m sure ordering me around in German would feel far more satisfying. Stereotypes aside, anything you say in German sounds far more serious. We’re talking a language where ‘to pardon someone’ sounds like ‘break all bones in his body’ or ‘make him kneel’, you know”, her smile grew wider despite misty eyes.

Shinji looked confused. “I would gladly learn, once I’m atop of my school work… but I’m quite sure the perks of German is not what you wanted to talk about, right?”

Her smile became sheepish. “How did you guess that, Einstein?”

“Deduction, my dear Shikinami”, he bowed his head.

Asuka pondered something for a moment, then shook her head. “No, there’s no salvaging of this mix-up of characters. Nope. None at all. Okay. Let’s get that fucking elephant out of the room”, she paused, unsure what to say. It sounded very clear and simple in her head just a few minutes ago. She took a deep breath.

“Fuck it”, she tried again. Shinji raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I mean…” she breathed out. “An advance for swearing, please”, she tried again.

“Granted, five more for language”, Shinji nodded. “And I don’t mean using German”, he chuckled nervously. “Any other advances you think you may need?” he smiled.

_‘How much for surprising you by throwing myself on you, ripping your clothes off, and having my way with you?’_ her mind helpfully asked. She shook her head, pushing this thought away. “I guess for some violence”, she quipped nervously.

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought I was coming here to talk, not to be beaten up?”

“You know that with me, it’s always an option”, her voice was still nervous.

“Not so much recently”, he smiled. “And I like it that way.”

“So do I, I guess”, she smiled back.

_‘Fuck’_, Asuka’s thoughts started to race_. ‘We’ll sit here all night, trading quips, talking what we talked before, and getting nowhere. But I can’t fucking spit it out! Like a fucking teenager!’_

_‘You are a teenager’_, an entirely truthful – if also a completely useless voice in her head commented.

_‘Shut up’_, she silenced it. _‘Let’s do it my way, then – with violence.’_

Shinji tensed as Asuka suddenly jumped out of the bed. “Fuck that”, she started in a louder voice. “I can’t do that like this. So… hit me.”

Shinji tilted his head. “What?”

“Hit me? Maybe it will help”, she demanded. “Don’t know”, she turned back towards the bed, towering over Shinji; he was doing his best not to glare at her perfect legs. “Punch my stomach, or get up and slap my face, I’ll take it. Come on!”

Shinji took a deep breath and slowly rose from the bed, facing Asuka on more-or-less equal height. “Why?” he asked, his voice calm. “I can do that if you really want, but only if you explain first.”

“Don’t you trust me?” she hissed.

“With my life. Ask me again, and I will”, he declared. “But I really would like to understand first.”

Asuka clenched her jaws. _‘Gott, since when is he so… argh. Okay. He deserved at least that.’_

“We’re here to talk. And I can’t spit it out. Beat it out of me”, she rattled out.

Shinji’s head tilt returned. “Asuka”, he started, his voice as calm as he could manage. “I did things to you. I’ve seen you on your knees, crying. And you let me witness all that”, he kept going in a calm voice, holding her gaze, a gaze that was slowly growing a bit too manic for his taste. “And I heard you… doing things. And we talked about that later. There is nothing – and I mean **nothing** – that you could say that I would not listen to, consider, and answer.”

“But you can still say ‘no’!” Asuka growled. “And–”

She interrupted as she found herself in a firm embrace. _‘Great, there goes “keeping at least a foot of distance”’_, a small, objective part of her mind noted. _‘What breaks next?’_ it added. Asuka chose to ignore this jab; she had enough issues on her own.

“Asuka”, he whispered in her ear. “I don’t know what you will ask, but there is not much I’d say ‘no’ to. Well, if you asked me to murder Misato for you, then I would not”, he chuckled softly. “But if it was a conspiracy against my father… I would give it some serious thought.”

Asuka paused before grabbing him by his arms and pushing him back into her field of view. Her face was tearful, but her bemused expression was currently dominating the impression.

“This is not about murder, you know? It’s about **us**”, she explained. “And I don’t mean us being murdered, or–” she shook her head. “Oh, fuck it. Shinji, do you remember when we told each other we’re the closest people we have? I mean, that I’m the closest one you have and you’re the closest one I have?”

Shinji nodded. “Of course”, he smiled warmly. “How could I forget?”

“Do you still mean it?” she asked, her eyes vary, carrying a hint of… worry? Threat?

He blinked, his expression heavily confused. “Yes?”

Asuka let her breath out and closed her eyes. _‘Do I **really** know what I am getting myself into? Oh well, I do. I would kill for him, and I’m pretty sure he would kill for me – oh wait didn’t he just say he’d kill his father for me?_’, she giggled internally. ‘_Here_ _goes nothing.’_

“I am happy around you”, she declared as she opened her eyes and stared directly into his. “**You** make me happy. Not just with the spankings – with every single damned thing you do to me. With me. Around me. It’s… it’s like finally being appreciated not for all I do with my Eva, but for… I don’t know, being here. It makes me happy, and…” she paused. “And-I-want-you-to-keep-doing-it-all-the-time-forever”, she rattled out quickly, her blush and pulse increasing with every word.

Shinji blinked in surprise, then smiled. “Asuka… I…”

“Yes or no?” she narrowed her eyes.

“I want to make you happy”, he declared with certainty.

“This. Is. Not. An. Answer”, she hissed out.

“This was not a question?” he raised his eyebrow. “It’s–”

“God, you’re dense”, she shook her head with a disbelieving smile, closing her eyes; her attempts to keep her voice from shaking were only partially successful. “It seems I need something really hard and sharp to pierce a shell made of Ikarium”, she took another long breath before finding his eyes again and speaking up.

“I… like that. All that”, she gestured vaguely. “And I like **you**”, she declared, her voice unstable. “And I want you to be mine”, she declared, firmness of her voice growing with every word. “Mine, nobody else’s! Call it ‘boyfriend’, call it ‘partner’, call it…” she hesitated before smirking. “Call it ‘master’, I think I can bear calling you that”, a tingle in her nether regions told her she could do much better than ‘bear’. She pushed that thought down; there was going to be a better time for that. “But be **mine**. And I’ll be yours. Can you take that? Can you take me?” her gaze remained unblinking for the whole declaration.

“Asuka, I’m…” he started, his voice startled, his eyes wide – and trailed off the moment he understood this was not exactly the best train of thought. “Yes”, he smiled. “With… delight”, his voice broke just a bit.

Asuka let out a chuckle. “Delight…” she repeated, immense relief clear in her voice.

“Wrong word?” he tensed just a bit. “I never thought–”

“That’s your problem, sometimes”, she noted in a still-shaky voice, her eyebrow raised. “You don’t **think**, not about yourself”, she paused, as her vision became clouded. “So… yeah. That’s it”, she added in a whisper. “Hi, boyfriend”, she smiled and touched her cheek, only now realizing it was wet.

“Can… can I?” he leaned towards her.

“Stop asking stupid questio–”

The sentence was cut short as she found herself in a strong embrace once more. _‘Yeah. Just about the right reaction…’_ she noted before letting go and allowing the tears to flow.

***

“I commend you on fulfilling your first official boyfriend duty”, Asuka quipped in a soft whisper indeterminate time later, her head still on his shoulder.

Shinji carefully moved away so he could look the now-his-girlfriend in the eye. “And that would be?” he asked, his smile warm as he beheld her red, puffy face in all its beauty.

“Bearing with me”, she smirked through the tears.

“It’s not very difficult if you know when to hug, and when to spank, right?” he quipped with just a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Asuka raised her eyebrow. “There are some more modes to me than those two, you know”, she retorted as she disentangled from the hug and reached for the tissue box. “And now excuse me, I need to return myself to some semblance of order”, she added with a firmer voice as she turned her back to him.

“Of course”, he smiled, doing his best to hide his own condition: his heart was still beating like crazy, his palms were sweaty, and he was quite dizzy. Maintaining the façade was his second nature, coming naturally outside – but this exchange had cost him a lot; the surprise did not help. Still, he was determined to be the best support there is – and it worked.

He did expect Asuka to put him against the wall and demand some declaration – but even in his wildest dreams, he had not seen **that**. _‘I guess a lot of research is in order… this is not going to be easy. This **cannot** be easy’_, he realized before smiling to himself. _‘But I guess I won’t be alone in that.’_

He sat down on the bed and took several deep breaths; his body slowly started to relax.

***

To say that Asuka felt relieved was like saying this night was a kind-of important moment in her life – technically true. And how much she might have liked to mess with the truth by being ‘technically true’, doing it right now felt like cheating.

_‘Gott, this is… okay, I thought it would be harder, yes, but I didn’t think it’d be so **exhausting**’_, she considered as she cleaned her face, perfectly aware of Shinji’s eyes on her half-clad form, with a strong preference for her bare legs. _‘I… I could fall asleep right now, but it would be like finally arriving at the party and going to sleep in the corner’_, she chuckled. _‘Hm… let’s see whether it tastes the same’_, she smiled to herself.

“Shinji…” she started, her back still turned. “Will you promise me something?”

“What do you wish for, Asuka?”

_‘Undress me, spank me to tears, and then tell me you l–’, _a thought ran through her mind, got caught, and put in a container labeled ‘CONSIDER LATER’. _‘I’m not falling for any of those “speak faster than you think”, anymore, no matter how tired I am’_, she hissed internally at her thought processes. _‘Try it in the morning.’_

“Won’t you run away if I let you out of here?” she slowly turned to face him.

He sat on the bed, his head tilted, his expression confused. “Why would I?”

Asuka took a deep breath. “Just… making sure. So?”

“Never”, he declared.

A shiver ran down her spine as she heard the certainty in his voice. She contained her first reaction; _‘I was supposed to ask him something, right? Right.’_

She took another deep breath. “So, now that I have your word you won’t run… will you make some tea? I… I think it will do as some good.”

Shinji pondered for about half a second before realizing this was something routine, something familiar, something safe – and a break he could use. “By your command, Asuka”, he smiled as he stood up. “Just…” he stopped by the door.

“Yes?”

“Do you promise not to run away or bar me from here when I return?”

Asuka just closed her eyes and thought about the answer for less than a second.

“Never.”

***

Shinji Ikari found peace in simplicity. Simple clothes. Simple actions, leading to the fulfillment of his home duties. Simple movements put in complex patterns that made music possible. All this was learnable, repeatable, possible to grasp and understand. In other words, simple.

Of course, there were sometimes decisions, choices, doubts – but most of the time it was following instructions, playing out a pattern, learning and executing something he could – in the end – master.

Making tea was like this, a part of this simplicity. Becoming Asuka’s… boyfriend? … was anything but. _‘Do I **really** know what I am getting myself into?’_ he wondered. On the other hand, there was little doubt. _‘I want her to be happy. And if this is what she wants…’_

He checked the kettle. The temperature dropped enough to pour the water. Another simple thing he could learn and exercise, another source of stability, another anchor for his mind.

_‘She cares for me. Nobody did after Mom died. I care for her. And if I understand correctly, nobody cared for her after her Mom died. It’s almost like we’re meant for each other… of course, if we were, we’d have met and started this a bit **differently**’_, he blushed, realizing how little would he be able to tell his friends should this become public someday. _‘Right. I guess that’s another thing to discuss. I suppose my father would not be exactly happy… and by the gods, explaining this all to Misato would be impossible. Asuka can be convincing, of course, but I don’t think I would withstand Misato’s interrogation for too long… and then we’d be done’_, he shivered. _‘No. I will not allow that.’_

He picked the tray with the two steaming cups and made his way towards Asuka’s room.

***

To say that Asuka Langley Shikinami was no stranger to overthinking was to say summertime in post-Impact Japan tended to be warm. The Vicious Overthinking Engine was capitalized for a reason.

_‘Was this the best thing to do?’_

A scenario started to play in her head. It started with a fight with an Angel, her seeing Shinji’s Unit pummeled to death, her screaming helplessly, her heart filled with all the things she wanted to say but never did. She shook it off.

Another one took its place. Another Angel, another death, another scream – but this time of vengeance, of her tearing the thing apart. She smiled through her tears. _‘Yeah, a bit better.’_

Others kept coming. By the time a soft knocking sounded on the door she had seen Shinji die a dozen times and had died half a dozen times herself.

For some reason, it always felt better when she did not have to say anything over his lifeless corpse – nor he over hers.

***

Shinji entered the room, sliding the door close with a careful movement of his foot before walking over to the desk and setting the tray down. “Here, just as you like it”, he smiled as he handed Asuka the cup – and paused as he saw fresh tears on her face.

“Asuka, is everything all right?”

She chuckled. “Mostly”, she admitted. “Thank you. I’m… fine. I think. I was just… thinking.”

“Anything you wish to share?” he asked as he sat down on the desk chair.

She shook her head. “Not really… not yet anyway. I’m… I’m just happy I won’t have to say all that in more awkward circumstances”, she smiled, wiping the tears away and taking a sip. “Really, you didn’t make me a black one?” her voice suddenly turned annoyed.

Shinji smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I can’t make a well-measured black tea, and I didn’t want to keep you awake for too long. Don’t you like this one?”

“Shinji, I’m… never mind”, she shook her head. “I do, and that’s your fault, you made me used to that, you made me used to many things, you made me **like** many things”, she smirked and wiggled her eyebrows. Shinji could only blush in response.

“Something is telling me you’re not expecting an apology”, he smiled, taking a sip. “I suppose influencing you is… well…”

“A reason for pride, you bastard”, she grumbled and took a gulp, followed by a gasp. “Fuck, I know it’s not a hundred degrees, but it still burns.”

“Asuka”, Shinji looked horrified. “This is still at least seventy. And I don’t think it’s the pain you like.”

Asuka chuckled, her face blushing softly. “Depends. Ever heard of wax play?” she asked with a wry smile.

Shinji’s eyes bulged as he barely managed not to spit the tea he just sipped. “Asuka!”

The redhead giggled. “I take it as a ‘yes’”, she kept smiling. “Don’t worry, just teasing”, she paused. “Speaking of which, I’m at forty now, right?”

Shinji pondered for a moment before nodding. “Yes, if I reckon correctly.”

“Well, I’m kind of disappointed you didn’t add anything for almost making you drown in your tea”, she deadpanned. “I suppose I should try harder.”

“Or you can just _ask_”, he smiled.

Asuka could only smile back as her blush deepened. _‘Damn right. He trained me well, consciously or not’_, she admitted to herself, feeling the familiar butterflies in her stomach. _‘Perhaps I should hate him for that… but I can’t. I just… can’t.’_

Silence fell over them, interrupted just by the sound of tea-sipping. They both were aware of the unspoken question hanging in the air: ‘what now?’ – but by the unspoken agreement, they let it wait just a cup of tea longer.

***

Finally, it was Asuka who broke the silence, soon after she put the cup down. “Now… Well. Feeling up to stay up for a while?”

Shinji pondered for a moment before nodding. “I suppose so? Yes?”

“Okay”, Asuka suddenly grinned. “Say ‘Blau’ at any time or tap out, and I will stop. But until you do, I will keep going as far as I am willing to take it. Is that okay with you?”

“Asuka? What are you planning?” he asked, suddenly cautious, with a hint of panic in his voice.

“Nothing you won’t like”, she smirked. “I just thought that once we… well, made it official, at least here, I can exercise all the girlfriend’s”, she paused, tasting the word on her tongue, “Yes, all the girlfriend’s rights. So… any objections?”

Shinji took a deep breath, let it out, and smiled. “None, Asuka. You’ve been on my mercy, now I am on yours”, he declared.

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m quite sure this is some elaborate ruse to have a reason to give me a five more”, she spoke in deadpan. “Ready?”

He just smiled and nodded.

“Good. Enough talking. Come here”, she commanded as she grabbed his hand. Following her lead, he left the chair behind and sat on the bed; a second later she leaned in and her lips touched his.

***

As much as Shinji expected that, the expectation did not mitigate the actual effect: The Universe exploding right before his eyes.

This was not one of those short, careful, thank-you kisses on his cheek she sometimes gave him, nor the odd kisses she recently placed on his hand. This kiss was primal, raw, painful, full of hunger. This was Asuka claiming her prize, exercising her rights, taking what was rightfully hers for the first time. This kiss stung, burned, **hurt**.

But Shinji could not help the fact that he really, really **liked** it. Not really knowing how to react, he simply did what he did before – he embraced Asuka. Feeling a short pause in the assault, realizing she was showing a smile – no, a grin – he opened his mouth to speak.

This was a huge mistake – or the best idea. Asuka took it as a further invitation: she simply pressed her lips to his once more; her tongue found its way into the half-opened mouth and started exploring. She had to do most of the kissing, as Shinji was clearly lost at what to do, but she did not mind – he might not have responded aggressively, but he was responding positively – and that was all she needed at this very moment.

Especially considering that after a few minutes of the assault, interrupted just by half-second pauses for breath, he started to actually kiss back.

***

After a few further minutes of lip-biting and tongue-wrestling, horribly inept but never lacking in enthusiasm, she withdrew. Their eyes, wide and wild, locked.

“That… I… I mean…” Shinji tried, his face red, his breath fast. His whole body was shaking softly and his pulse was similar to the level he reached after a sprint.

“Yeah. I… well, descriptions… lie”, Asuka looked aside. Her cheeks were burning as well, and while her breathing was steadier, her heart was about to leap out of her chest. “I mean, I didn’t exactly see **stars**”, she added. “But…”

“Almost as good?” he smiled.

“Better”, she took a deep breath. “I mean… I wouldn’t mind doing this once in a while”, she admitted sheepishly.

“Well… isn’t being kissed a girlfriend’s right?” Shinji started to regain his wit despite most of his blood still being elsewhere.

Asuka fixated him with a glare. “Damn right”, she grinned and kept staring at him.

A moment of awkward silence hung between them. “Oh, right”, Shinji realized what was going on. He stretched his neck, locked in an odd position for the last few minutes – and leaned in towards Asuka. For a few seconds, his eyes were just wandering over her face; her expression showed a mix of confusion and impatience, but before she could speak, he reached and touched her face with the softest gesture.

Her skin tingled under the touch; it was soft, caring, delicate – and unbelievably welcome.

“I thought that would never happen”, he smiled. “I… I didn’t think that was even an option”, he admitted.

“What? Touching me?” Asuka asked without thinking, her eyes confused.

“You… you and me”, he explained as the back of his hand slowly descended down her cheekbones. “Still feels like a dream.”

Asuka chuckled. “You’ll realize soon enough it can be your worst nightmare”, she whispered, half-jokingly, half-grimly. “I’m not exactly the easiest girl to live with, and I come in wholesale, take it or leave it.”

Shinji’s smile suddenly changed: it remained warm and caring, but suddenly, it was also far more aggressive, almost predatory.

“I think I can handle the hard parts with some… discipline”, he whispered in _that_ voice, about as his fingers traced the bones of Asuka’s jaw and reached her chin.

Asuka closed her eyes as a shiver ran down her spine. His fingers left her skin tingling, electrified, hungering for more. She felt unable to move, incapable of stopping him. His hand went up again, framing her cheek softly. A thought, equally horrifying and tempting, appeared in her mind. _‘He’s going to slap my face. He’s about to do it. And I am going to either kill him or ask for more. God, this is–’_

But instead, she felt his leave her skin; a second later, his lips touched her own. A mix of relief and disappointment filled her as she slumped down – and out of his reach.

“Asuka?” Shinji’s confused voice made her open her eyes. “Are you–”

She let out a breath. “Come down”, she managed as she stretched on the bed. Extending her arms towards him, she looked at him expectantly.

***

Shinji Ikari might have been extremely dense at times, but even for him, it was impossible to misread that gesture. He crawled atop Asuka, careful not to hit her with a knee or an elbow. The strong, pale hands closed around his torso, but before they pulled him down, Asuka paused.

“May I?” she asked, barely audibly, as she reached for the hem of the shirt.

Shinji nodded – and found himself bereft of his sleeping t-shirt before he could blink. Only then Asuka resumed her embrace – and pulled him down. Their lips locked again.

***

Asuka’s mind, while perfectly able to focus on the task at hand, was nevertheless trained to always leave a bit of attention for the surroundings. It was a habit ingrained in her during her military training: after all, engaging a single opponent did not make other threats suddenly disappear.

Of course, under the circumstances, there were no _threats_ to speak of – but there were details her mind kept considering as they ineptly tried to work out how the kissing should work. One of those ideas was her arousal – which kept growing with every step they took: kissing him was a huge spike, having him undressed was a bit less powerful – but having him atop of her, his body pressing on hers… well, that was something new, and it certainly pressed the right buttons. It also made her want to press a very particular button, repeatedly and mercilessly.

Or even perhaps have **him** press it.

The problem was that the part of the brain left to consider those things was not a large one; just enough to realize the problem and prioritize it. After doing so – and marking it ‘rather important’ – it passed the problem to the main decision center and returned to the usual duty: watching for threats.

Asuka broke the kiss carefully – a difficult feat, as she had very little space to retreat, a fact that sent another confusing spike of arousal to her body – and spoke up, her voice husky: “Shinji… come closer.”

A pair of eyes blinked at her, wordlessly asking how that would be possible, considering he was lying atop of her. Asuka chuckled; a few seconds and one tactical repositioning later, their legs were intertwined – and Asuka slid down the bed, just a centimeter or two.

Shinji’s eyes suddenly grew wider as he felt the touch on his thigh.

“Yes?” Asuka asked innocuously.

“This is your–”

“Center of pleasure for the female body”, she recited, her smile mischievous. “You’ve been around there before, right? Don’t worry, my panties are still on, besides, the teeth do not come out down there unless I get really, really angry.”

Shinji chuckled. “I might be dumb by your standards, but _vagina dentata_ is a very, very old joke”, he retorted.

Asuka pouted. “Not **dumb**. A bit naïve, yes, lacking in education, surely, an idiot, yes, but not dumb”, she listed as her hands slowly traced down from his shoulders to his sides, making him shiver. “Come closer… and don’t try to pull away, okay?” she requested. “No matter what happens, unless either of us says the word or taps out, okay?”

“Asuka?” his voice and his look both expressed a clear worry.

“Trust me?” she smiled softly. Her face was unbelievably soft and innocent; the only reason he did not call it ‘angelic’ was a very different association he held with that word.

“Of course”, he paused. “Darling”, he added with a smile.

“Mm. I like the sound of that”, Asuka replied with a grin. Anything she might have to say was silenced as his enthusiastic tongue slid across her lips – and got invited in.

All this – the sensation of the kiss, the elation of the success, the pleasant weight of his body, the stray thoughts of spanking that always appeared around him, his leg rubbing against her pussy and clit, the voice in which he delivered the statements, the vague but present sense of being kind-of-trapped, and the overwhelming awareness that this is what she actually wanted – made for a powerful boost to her already aroused body. Amplified by the fact that she – contrary to her own advice – skipped the ‘rub one off before the talk’ step, her eagerness and her sensitivity were reaching dangerously high levels.

_‘If I lose control now, if I climax here and now, what will he think of me?’_ she pondered just of a second before returning to the conclusion she recently made. _‘He’ll accept it, and the only thing I would have to worry about is **thanking** him for his help’_, she giggled internally. Her giddiness would have worried her not too long ago; after all, it made self-control hard. But now… now she felt safe. Safe enough to let go.

Asuka purred. Returning the kiss and pulling him closer, she moved her hips a bit lower, making a few rubbing moves. “Don’t retreat”, she managed between kisses, “or I will bite your tongue off”, another bout of lip-biting, tongue-wandering interrupted her. “Keep that leg where it belongs”, she paused and bit his tongue to underscore her point, “and-ooooh–”

Shinji complied, uncertain what was going on – but always willing to accommodate Asuka. Contrary to Asuka’s mind, his own was not trained to split attention beyond the normal life circumstances – and the kiss was taking all of his faculties. His only other, dim realization was that the pressure on his thigh was increasing – and so was the heat; a moment of thought would have explained it, but at the moment, he lacked the capacity to do that. Thus, he was remaining blissfully ignorant of the sensations he was about to cause.

***

The pleasure kept building up; Asuka’s focus shifted from the kiss – reduced then to repetitive lips-and-tongue moves – to her hips. The right tempo was established, it was just a matter of time when–

_‘No, you don’t’_, she hissed internally, realizing that Shinji changed the speed of his movements – the kiss slowed down, along with the speed his body shifted with. This was most likely an unwitting attempt to introduce variety – but while not wrong by itself, it was horribly ill-timed.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. _‘Fuck that, we’re already that far, maybe I am a shameless slut… But if I am, who cares. Not him, that’s for sure.’_

Ignoring the notions of modesty or shame, concepts currently existing for her only as abstract ideas best found in dictionaries, she quickly slid her hand in the empty space between their hips and down to the spot where his leg was pressing against her mons. Locating the clit was automatic, finding the correct rhythm was a matter of seconds; she then stopped responding to the kiss and just focused on the sensation – sensation that was coming from her hand, his skin against her sensitive spots, their interlocked lips – and from her head.

The salvaged climax started to build up, starting before Shinji could even realize that something was happening; it began odd, a bit flat, just before exploding in an overwhelming storm; she let out a loud moan-turned-groan-turned-purr; her body shook, her other hand’s nails dig into his back.

Seconds later, it was all over. Breathing heavily, she retreated her hand, grabbed Shinji into her embrace with both arms and legs, and pulled him as close as she could. The aftershocks of her orgasm passed through her body, palpable for him as well.

“Asuka, what–”

“I am”, she panted out, “a shameless…” she hesitated, considering how to express herself elegantly – and decided it was pointless anyway. “I am a shameless slut that just came because a certain boy rubbed himself against me”, she explained in a purring voice. “And before you start apologizing”, she kept going, “shut up and hold me.”

He smiled, but before he could follow her demand, a surprisingly mean thought formed in his mind. “Be a good girl and ask nicely”, he whispered.

Butterflies ran through Asuka’s stomach; some emotion stirred inside of her – but it was not anger nor frustration. She filed it away to think about it later. Her mood was… different now: to her surprise, she realized that even if he made her beg, she would comply.

“Please”, she whispered.

“My pleasure”, he replied in a warm voice and tightened his grip on her.

***

It was a dark night outside when Asuka’s eyes shot open. It took her a few seconds of panic to realize that the sound that woke her up was not Misato coming to catch them in the act, but a random voice from outside the window – likely from some people returning from a late night out.

She took a deep breath and smiled as she felt the weight of Shinji’s arm wrapped around her chest. She wiggled her bottom – and felt the familiar pressure against it. That – and the fact that her panties were quite soaked.

_‘Aw damn it. Right, I didn’t change after we–’_

A huge blush crept up her face as the memory of what happened returned to her.

_‘We… well. Does this qualify as “having sex”?’_ she pondered for a moment. _‘It’s not that he did it, I did it… well, using him. And it’s not that anything of him went inside of me…’_ she kept pondering, her blush steadily increasing. _‘But yeah, this somehow counts as “consummating”, I guess’_, she chuckled. _‘I suppose I should think of some reciprocation, too…’_, she realized as the blush reached her ears. _‘Stop. First things first’, _she decided and started to carefully disentangle herself from his embrace, ignoring a very sleepy grumble and her strong desire to remain that way – a desire that was quickly met with a formal protest from her bladder and her skin.

A quick trip to the bathroom and a hasty wash later, coupled with a quick check on still out Misato and putting on fresh panties, she paused and took a long look at the figure in her bed. _‘He’s so… in place. I mean, two months ago I would’ve murdered him if he **sat **on that bed. And now…’_

She smiled and reached for the covers. _‘Now, he belongs here. No, he belongs with me’_, she realized as she wiggled herself in her previous position, with Shinji’s body reacting automatically by embracing her and putting the familiar pressure on.

_‘And I belong with him.’_

***

His breathing was rapidly increasing; he could not speak – not over the lips, teeth, and tongue that kept his mouth locked. Warm, wet folds held his penis in a tight grasp, nails were raking his back, soft breasts were brushing against his chest – and all that was drowning in a wonderful smell of strawberries.

The tempo kept increasing, the pressure on his penis was growing; he felt the familiar, inevitable sensation rising – and a long, powerful, overwhelming climax soon followed.

***

It was a dark night outside when Shinji’s eyes shot open. The haze of sleep made thinking difficult, but he was quite sure something was wrong. He clearly remembered what happened, up to the moment when they snuggled together; he remembered hugging Asuka tightly; they must have drifted away to sleep soon after… and he did not remember having sex with–

A soft murmur and a wiggle brought him back to _here and now_. A panicked realization settled in as he realized his briefs were soaked.

He held his breath as he moved away from Asuka and slid from beneath the covers as carefully as he could; only after he was out the door, he allowed himself to breathe again.

***

Asuka stirred in her sleep. Something was happening; more precisely, something was happening in her bed; even more precisely, someone was leaving her bed.

Her first reflex was to grab the hand of the offender and demand explanations – but that reaction was squashed. _‘Don’t be stupid, girl. He had a full cup of tea before bed, just as you did. He will be back soon enough. He promised not to run away, right?’_ she calmed herself. _‘I can tease him in the morning’_, she smiled to herself before a stray thought appeared. _‘Or I can wait for him…’_

***

As Shinji reached the bathroom, his mind was racing. _‘Damn it, damn it, damn it… how am I going to explain that? She’ll think I’m some–’_

His thoughts suddenly stopped as he stared at his own reflection.

_‘No, she won’t. She would call me a pervert, yes, likely… but she’d understand’,_ he decided. _‘After all… didn’t she come herself?’_ he recalled with a growing blush, arousal caused by the memories quickly replacing the shame from the dream. _‘I wonder if something like this would ever happen…’_

A few seconds later he realized where this train of thought led. Letting out a heavy sigh, he removed the briefs and reached for the oddly sensitive penis. _‘Who knows? But I do know what happened…’ _he smiled as he recalled the scene from the evening, complete with sound and the feeling of Asuka rubbing against him; his strokes sped up. For a brief moment, a stray thought appeared: _‘I wonder how would Asuka react if she entered right now…’_

Coupled with the tempo of his ministrations, a short image of a certain redhead standing in the doorway, nude and flushed from her sleep and looking at him – that was more than enough to bring him over the edge.

***

Shinji’s expertise in cleaning and experience in erasing certain types of evidence resulted in him discreetly sliding in after mere four minutes later. He settled in and was about to drift away–

“You sure took your time”, a sweet voice in the darkness made his blood run cold.

Asuka savored his panic for those few seconds before an exasperated sigh turned into a bit shaky, but otherwise determined reply: “Another five, Asuka. That’s forty-five in total.”

A shiver ran down her spine. _‘That voice again. And I think he still doesn’t know…’_

“As you command…” she hesitated. _‘Say it. **Say it**.’_

“Asuka?”

Her eyes remained closed. “Later. Okay?”

“As you wish. Goodnight, Asuka”, he smiled and rose just enough to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

And for some reason, this made her blush more than anything else that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first one where I had several long versions. The first one had a similar flow as the final one, but I found it disappointing, so I moved the events around. The second one was Asuka springing a surprise kiss before talking, but it ran far too contrary to her already established perception of consent, causing her to go into full guilt mode afterward and ruining the scene. This is the third one, rewritten and revised to my satisfaction.
> 
> So, things have moved ahead, and all that is left is a “Happily Ever After” epilogue, right? Right?
> 
> Nah. This is Evangelion. We don’t do that here. At least not without a liberal sprinkling of suffering, angst, suffering, anguish, and suffering.
> 
> The next chapter is planned sometime in August, assuming the area I live in does not blow itself up in some creative way. Stay tuned!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contrary to my plans, August did not work, September did not work – but October it is. To those that waited – thank you for your patience; I hope the resumed updates will be worth the wait. To those that became disheartened – assuming you read this – I can only offer my apologies and hope that you will come back once the update announcement comes in.
> 
> Everyone, welcome back. I hope you enjoy the ride.
> 
> On an unrelated note: this chapter can get rather intense emotionally. Caveat lector.

_Saturday morning_

“I really hate those six-day weeks. Classes on Saturday, who thought it was a good idea?” Asuka grumbled.

“I think there was talking about reducing it to twice-a-month… but it was in 1999. And then, suddenly”, Shinji’s smile turned wry, “everyone had the better things to do than worry about the burden placed on students.”

“Right. ‘Education as the best investment’ and such. I get it. But tell me, how Germany, a culture valuing order and education about as much as Japan does – is managing on having only five days of school, and shorter than those here?” the redhead remained unconvinced.

“I don’t know”, Shinji shrugged. “It’s always been like this, I guess it’s just that – a part of the culture here. It’ll rub off on you, give it time”, he tried.

“I’d rather have more of **you** rub off on me, than the culture”, her frown suddenly turned into a smile; and just as she anticipated, Shinji’s face immediately turned red.

“Asuka, I–”

“I will kill you if you start to apologize, remember that”, she warned. “What happened, happened because **I** wanted it and because **you** wanted it. No apologies. No regrets. Unless you **do** regret it?” she narrowed her eyes on him, her voice gaining a threatening tone.

“Never”, came the reply, surprisingly firm considering his embarrassment.

“Good answer, Shinji”, her frown was replaced by a warm smile. “And you know… I wouldn’t mind more mornings like this”, she almost purred.

His blush turned even hotter. “I assume you mean the general feeling, not the–”

“Yeah. Not all the details”, she admitted, her face slowly matching his in tone.

***

_Earlier that morning_

The sun was slowly piercing they grayness of the early morning. Shinji Ikari opened his eyes slowly, aware that an alarm would sound within minutes. It took him several seconds to realize something was off: this was not his room, and he was not alone. While the latter has been commonplace for a while, just as the feeling of a warm body next to him, the former was highly unusual.

_‘Okay, did I disable my alarm or not?’_ he wondered. _‘If not, it’s going to sound soon, and I’ll be in a very wrong place to shut it down, and Misato may notice something and–”_

He made a motion to leave the bed – only to be caught by a pale, slender hand that emerged from beneath the covers in a time of an eyeblink. “Leaving so soon, darling?” a trilling, soft voice washed over him, starkly contrasting with a vice-like grip on his forearm. “I really hope this is not an escape from your duties…”

He froze, but in this very moment, something in his mind clicked: an old tale, read in an odd book connected with a spark of wit. “But, fair maiden, I must depart, lest your guardian learns I stole your virtue and chases me off with a broom – or worse!”

Asuka’s head turned immediately and her eyes shot open, her expression incredulous. A few seconds later she burst into a helpless, if somewhat subdued, laughter; regardless of that outburst, her grip on his hand remained ironclad.

“Asuka…” Shinji pleaded softly. “I should not stay here too long in the morning.”

After a few attempts, she managed to shake the bout of laugher off. “God, that was… God”, she let out another paroxysm of laughter, “right, you need to go. But”, she suspended her voice, “but not without a parting kiss!” she demanded.

“B-but Asuka, the morning–” he protested, mortified.

“I don’t give a shit”, she interrupted, her demeanor suddenly serious. “You’ve seen me worse than that, right?” she rolled over, her grip unwavering. “Kiss me and I’ll let you go. Or use the word, either is fine”, she shrugged, her expression turning into a grin. “But don’t keep me waiting”, her eyes narrowed.

Shinji looked at her, resignation mixed with amusement in his eyes. “As you wish, darling”, he leaned in for a kiss – a kiss that was simultaneously awkward, gross, and wonderful.

The vice-like grip relaxed only once their lips parted. “Go…” Asuka suggested with a hazy voice and dreamy look in her eyes. “And I’m still expecting a breakfast”, her lips curled into a smile.

“Have I ever failed to feed you?”

_‘No, but speaking of that, I’d wonder if you’d be willing to eat me’_ was the only reply that appeared in her mind. She immediately wrapped it and filed it away on a shelf of her mind. _‘Too soon! Too soon!’_

“Definitely not, and keep this up”, she managed, her breath too fast and her face too blushing. “I mean, the feeding, not the–” she stopped herself. _‘Way to go, brain! Way to go!’_ she chastised herself as she felt the blood rushing to her face.

“I… I’ll just…” he tried, eyeing his forearm and mirroring her colors; a small part of his mind was telling him that bruising was a certainty.

“Yes. Please. Do”, she followed his gaze and finally relaxed the grasp – allowing his quick withdrawal from the room.

***

The somewhat awkward, yet not unpleasant silence continued as they kept walking side by side; none of them said anything until they took their places in the bus.

About thirty seconds into the ride, Shinji’s hand discreetly crept over Asuka’s palm that was resting on her thigh; his fingers, encountering neither resistance nor a retreat, entangled with hers. Half a second later, her vice-like grip returned, grasping his fingers in hers. Shinji smiled and his blush returned; in the corner of his eye, he saw that Asuka reacted the same.

***

His touch came as a surprise. There was a short impulse in Asuka’s mind, a need to pull back, a need to retreat. They were in public, after all; they could easily get away with that in some back alley, but here–

_‘But **what** here?’_ a voice in her head countered._ ‘You’re getting paranoid. Nobody’s watching you. Nobody cares. It’s just you and him, two teenagers in lo–’_

Her body tensed as she silenced the voice; ironically, this resulted in her squeezing Shinji’s fingers – a gesture he immediately reciprocated.

_‘Okay, let’s face it. This **will** happen sooner or later’_, she admitted to herself._ ‘But I’d rather have it happen somewhat more, well, **solemn**, or at least **serious** than on some bus ride to school’_, she shook her head. _‘So’_, she addressed that part of her mind, _‘don’t try anything stupid and you’ll get your satisfaction sooner or later.’_

She could swear something grinned in her mind.

She shook her head again. Keeping her mind together was becoming increasingly hard in this tumultuous time of her life.

***

After a ride that both of them wished would take hours, they departed the bus. Asuka shot Shinji a glare; he raised his eyebrow in response.

“Your eyes, Third”, Asuka spoke just above a whisper. “I suppose I have the same problem, but let’s **try** not to look all gooey at each other?”

Shinji chuckled. “It’s going to be hard, you know?”

“Oh, I’m sure”, she smirked. “You might want to invest in looser pants. And possibly in a change of underwear for emergencies”, she added, her eyes momentarily straying down.

“Wha–Asuka!” his face turned red immediately – and her smirk turned into a grin.

“Better”, she stated. “Now everyone will think I embarrassed you or something. Come on”, she gestured towards the school. “We need to go.”

He nodded, his shoulders slumping. “Right. Go.”

Only after a few steps, she nudged him with her elbow. “Hey, Third, what’s wrong?” she queried.

“Um… nothing?” he tried.

“Bullshit, I know that face, all too well”, she claimed. “Okay, timeout”, she took a quick look around, grabbed his elbow, and pulled him in a small side alley in one smooth move.

***

With his back against the cold brick wall with Asuka’s forearm against his chest, Shinji was trying not to panic. In fact, the only thing that kept him from doing so was his unwavering trust in the girl currently holding him against the wall.

“Okay, we have about”, Asuka took a quick look at her small red watch, “three minutes, four if we rush afterward. So, skip the beating around a bush. What happened? That was the run-of-the-mill joke, and you look as if I just murdered–” she stopped herself from following with the obvious, “if I just pulled your pants in front of the class or something equally horrible. What is it?”

“N-nothing–” he tried again.

A glare cut him off. “Hey. I’m trying to help, for fuck’s sake, and I’m not going to hurt you, whatever the fuck you say. Fess up now, promise me you’ll explain later, tell me to go fuck myself, but **don’t leave me hanging**”, she demanded.

Shinji took a deep breath. “It’s… not really important”, he lied, his tone quite convincing.

“Bullshit”, Asuka smirked. “It’s important enough. You didn’t call me out on my numerous ‘fucks’. So – it’s serious. Okay, last chance, we’re running out of time: speak or tell me to fuck off.”

Shinji’s lips were a thin line. He was sorely tempted to repeat his reassurance, but he knew Asuka well enough to know it would bring nothing. The closest option was to tell her to drop the subject, but she formulated it in a way that made polite handling impossible. The only thing left was then the truth, mortifying as it might have been.

“You”, he started, his voice hesitant. “You made a joke about… how much time do we have?” he suddenly asked.

Asuka glanced at her watch. “A minute or so”, she replied.

Shinji shook his head. “I can try but feels too short. After school?”

“Only if you promise to tell the truth, and not spend all classes thinking up the excuses”, she demanded.

“Do you trust me?” his stare suddenly became firm.

Asuka nodded, her eyes closed. “I do. Okay, T-Shinji. Let’s go. You go first, I follow twenty seconds later”, she rattled out, the pressure on his chest gone.

“Uh… why?” his stare turned confused.

“Conspiracy rules. Go”, she commanded.

Shinji just nodded and left.

Asuka pressed her head to the cold wall. Her brain was running on high gear, two thoughts burning brightly: _‘I just fucked up royally and crashed the relationship’_ and _‘I just kind-of-resolved some odd crisis by sheer fucking will’_.

A medium-strength attempt at bashing her head against the bricks has helped a bit – the thoughts dimmed, overshadowed by a wave of pain – and a realization her head was **not** the best place to administer it.

_‘Oh, fuck. I’ll need his help on the lunch break… or later… but now, let’s follow the plan.’_

***

Asuka’s ‘conspiracy rules apply’ plan had a small wrinkle.

“Shikinami, you’re late”, Hikari Like Clockwork Horaki hissed as Asuka strolled past on her way to her desk.

Asuka shrugged. “Hey, the teacher isn’t here yet, right?”

The Class Representative huffed at this response, ready to retort; fortunately for Asuka, this was the moment the teacher entered the room – and Hikari Do Not Call Me Sergeant Horaki went about her well-drilled routine of forcing the class to do a proper greeting.

***

Shinji’s ‘promise to tell you later’ plan had a far bigger wrinkle.

Asuka’s Vicious Overthinking Engine, relatively dormant in recent times, was now catching up and running in around-the-clock mode. The primary issue was, of course, ‘_what the fuck did I say to cause this?!’_

By the time the lunch break came – after half an eternity of Asuka’s torment – she has analyzed a dozen scenarios, thought of every word she said, recalled every word he said, and had at least two distinct plans how to pay it back to Shinji; to her minor surprise, none of them involved his murder and both involved making him hurt her physically. She was also quite aware that none of those were going to survive the first contact with the ene–her boyfriend – but she was not going to be caught unprepared.

Having all that on her mind, and as soon as the break started, Asuka beelined towards Shinji, grabbed the lunchbox he handled her in one swift move, leaned towards him, whispered “eat quickly, then meet me on the rooftop, I’ll be waiting”, waited for him to nod, growled “I hope it’s not fish again, Third” aloud, and turned haughtily on her heel to sit with her back to him.

Most of their classmates did not react; it was a return to normalcy, quite likely to put an end to any subtle rumors. After all, as most of them realized, someone with the will and the strength of Shinji Ikari had no chance to withstand the tempest that was Asuka Langley Shikinami.

***

Shinji shook his head as he was going up the stairs. He was still pondering what to tell Asuka – and he knew they did not have much time to talk. He would have very much preferred to wait until they were out of school – but this was seemingly not an option. He saw Asuka’s behavior, the degree to which she was distracted, the burden he accidentally placed on her. This was something he was responsible for – and this had to be lifted as soon as possible.

“Asuka?” was the only thing he was able to say. Half a second later, slender yet strong arms grabbed him away from the door; he found himself held from behind, with a hand on his mouth and an arm around his waist. It would be enough to make his blood head downstairs – the soft pressure against his back was just an additional amplifying factor.

“Okay, we have a few minutes”, she declared. “I know we agreed on later… but–”

Shinji reached for the hand covering his mouth and gently pulled it down. Carefully twisting in Asuka’s grasp, he turned to face her. “We can talk now”, he declared as their eyes locked with their faces a few centimeters apart. “But, that’s five for the ambush – and, as you mentioned in the morning, five for the language. Which brings us to fifty-five and we should consider an installment plan, lest your bottom turns into even worse mincemeat.”

Asuka took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll take that. Now. Speak”, she requested. “Please”, she added softly.

Shinji nodded and tried to move away – but this has proven impossible. Asuka’s grasp on his waist held him in this slightly awkward hug. Her expression was also clear: ‘struggle is futile’. He took a deep breath and accepted his fate with resignation and delight.

“Asuka… promise me one thing, okay?” he started. “Whatever you hear, you keep it to yourself and won’t use this against me.”

Asuka’s glare showed incredulity for a moment. Then, it turned solemn.

“Do you trust me?”

He smiled a small smile. “I do. Okay”, he hesitated. “You made a joke”, he explained; Asuka nodded. “About… emergencies. Changing underwear.”

“Yeah, and? It’s a run-of-the-mill joke for boys, right?” Asuka narrowed her eyes. An ugly suspicion started to take shape in her mind.

“Yeah… it is. But… this happened”, he admitted in a low voice, his face rapidly turning red – and her following suit, her thoughts confirmed. “Last night. As we… well…”

“Spooned. As we spent a night together”, she finished for him, her voice dropping. “After I, well, rubbed against you. Fuck, that was well placed, congratulations, Shikinami”, she shook her head, her ears red with the wrong kind of embarrassment. Finally, she spoke again, her voice low. “Okay. I have to admit that this was… badly timed. I…” she hesitated. A few thoughts ran through her mind, the remnants of the Vicious Overthinking Engine’s work. Finally, one of the simpler ones emerged.

“I didn’t know. I swear”, she declared. “It was just a jab. And… thank you”, she smiled, a blush creeping up her face.

Shinji tilted his head. “For what?”

“Well”, her smile turned into a small grin; her voice sounded relieved. “It was a compliment, right? You liked my body so much that you… well…” it was her time to turn full signal-light-red.

“I… guess this is _one_ way to put it, yes”, he chuckled, the embarrassment still clear in his voice. “I… I didn’t think of it that way.”

“Do. I mean, it’s the right way. You get hard when you see something you like, I get wet, and well, I came, right? So why shouldn’t you?” she managed, her voice barely shaking. _‘And it should have been by my hand, yes, and I will make sure it is next time’_, she decided before forcibly shelving that thought before it gave her too many images.

Shinji just smiled an embarrassed smile, not sure what to say.

Asuka took a deep breath. “Okay – I’ll assume this means we’re good for now”, she glanced at Shinji. A nod allowed her to continue: “Now the hard part… if you pardon the pun. The break ends in”, she glanced at her watch, “fuck, three minutes. Head to the bathroom, splash your face with cold water, and go to the classroom. I’ll go–”

“You go first now, Horaki already had an issue with you today”, Shinji interrupted. “I can take it this time.”

“Die Schupo Horaki can kiss my ass”, Asuka hissed before grinning. “On second thought, no, I don’t want her **anywhere** near my ass, that’s exclusively your territory now.”

“You’re not helping”, Shinji protested, his eyes almost pleading, his face red again.

Asuka chuckled. “Okay, let’s go then. I’ll go first if you want to feel like a delinquent once in a while”, she winked and sprinted down the stairs before he could protest.

Shinji just let out a sigh. _‘This could’ve gone better. Also, this could’ve gone considerably worse’_, he realized. _‘At least my mess-making is out of the bag, and Asuka will not bring it up again.’_

***

“Ikari, I was not expecting **you** to be late”, the tone of Hikari I Thought Better Of You! Horaki was one of pure disappointment.

“I’m sorry! I had to help a friend!” Shinji Ikari exercised the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver with some skill. The creator of the technique smirked at the exchange – and felt a surprising warmth when she heard his choice of words.

The face of Hikari I Wish I Had Friends Horaki’s face softened just a bit. “Take your place, and please watch it next time!”

“Yes, Class Rep!”

***

“We’re home!” Shinji announced as they entered – but there was no reply.

“Overtime?” Asuka took a guess, looking around the apartment. “Date? Early drinking bout?”

“I’m not sure, she didn’t say anything about having an evening out today”, Shinji took a look around as he headed towards the bathroom. “Well, no matter, we’ll wait for her – or for a call. In the meantime, I’m going to make us dinner – and will leave Misato something to heat up once she shows up.”

***

“Need help?” Asuka asked off-handedly as she emerged from her room, having changed into a simple, a-bit-too-short-for-Shinji-concentration-but-surely-giving-a-great-look-at-her-legs skirt and a yellow t-shirt with a black cat outline.

“Well, how I could refuse such a proposition?” Shinji smiled in response, trying to keep his eyes on Asuka’s face.

“Mind you, my help comes at a dark and horrible cost…” the redhead’s eyes narrowed.

Shinji raised an eyebrow. “A second helping of the dinner?”

“Think again”, Asuka scoffed and folded her hands on her chest.

“Merciful approach on your next spanking?” he tried again with a smile on his face; Asuka could swear his voice was somehow mocking.

“Why would I need **mercy**? Are you implying I am not strong enough to take it all?” a growl slowly rose beneath her words, her expression almost threatening.

“You’re the strongest person I ever met”, he replied with conviction as he approached her. Before she could reply, he carefully embraced her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. _‘Okay, I think I underestimated the effect’,_ he realized as the kiss send jolts along his nerves and sped up his breathing. _“Oh well, I can handle it later, it’s not that we’re going to make out–’_

“And you guessed without speaking”, Asuka purred as she pushed him towards the tabletop. Two seconds later his bottom made a connection with a hard surface.

“Asuka, what are you–”

“Exercising girlfriend’s rights. Objections?” she paused. “Say the word, and I will stop.”

“But… the dinner?” he tried to protest weakly.

“That’s not it”, she smirked. “Last chance.”

Shinji chuckled, aware of the futility of the resistance. “Well, do your worst! I shall endure!” he declared in a voice full of pathos. “And enjoy”, he added with a soft smile.

“Good answer” she purred as she resumed the kiss.

***

_About two hours later_

“Another one, Misato?” Asuka asked as their clearly exhausted guardian downed her first can of beer this evening.

“Yes please”, the woman let out a sigh. “Sorry, guys, I’m not going to be a good company today. On second thought… let’s hold – not on an empty stomach.”

“S-sorry! Give me five more minutes!” Shinji was moving around the kitchen frantically.

He was perfectly aware that the delay was his fault – well, not exclusively, but it was not in his nature to shove the blame on someone else when he was equally complicit.

***

_A while earlier_

Some say that youth and enthusiasm always lose to experience. This is often true in battle or in business – but there are matters where collecting the experience with enthusiasm was definitely enjoyable and could hardly be counted as a loss.

Shinji was still rather careful in his advances – after all, while his newly acquired, official status clearly gave him _some_ rights, he was not exactly sure what those were – and while Asuka was adamant about not killing or maiming him, he was still worried about overstepping some invisible border and causing undue discomfort.

Asuka, on the other hand, had far fewer reservations; while the official status was far from _carte blanche_, she simply assumed that any discomfort would be met with a safeword or a tap-out. The worried voice that was trying to tell her that Shinji might be unwilling to use the prearranged measures due to a fear of ruining the mood was silenced – not even by Asuka herself, but by another, happy voice that was cheering her on and demanding that she confessed her feelings for him.

As a result, this time it was Asuka who was actively holding Shinji against the various surfaces and kissing him senselessly. His hands traveled around her skin, sliding under her clothes, tracing the lines of her underwear, approaching her bottom – but, agonizingly, never truly reaching it.

She pulled away for a moment, leaning to whisper into his ear. “Rub them, Shinji-dear. Touch that bruised skin. I told you that’s your territory… and your handiwork”, she purred.

He reluctantly slid his hand under the hem of her skirt, slowly sliding his hand down until he was cupping her buttock. She gasped softly: her skin was still tender enough for the needles of sensation and pleasure to spark. She shifted to make it easier for him; taking the obvious hint, he moved his other hand to carefully play with her bottom.

“Keep going, Shinji”, she purred. “Remember: yours.”

He nodded in response, tracing the patterns on her skin, each move a little bolder than the last. She grinned before she resumed the kiss – with no less passion, but this time with a touch of violence added.

She could not determine where this was going – but she decided it did not matter. She simply followed her instincts when they told her it was the right moment – and ignored that little voice telling her _‘too soon’_. She squashed that voice with a loud _‘I may die tomorrow’_.

“Asuka…” Shinji started once they separated to draw breaths and his hands paused their careful ministrations on her buttocks.

“Yes?” she asked, her voice husky.

“We… we should stop”, he managed, his voice carrying clear disappointment.

“Why?” she asked, her voice grumbly. “Too far?”

“No. Too late”, he retorted, his voice embarrassed. “We… need to make dinner.”

“I’m not hungry”, she rubbed herself against him, eliciting a small gasp.

“Nor am I… but you know… Misato…” he protested.

“Oh. Right”, she shook her head. “F-damn it. You’re right”, she realized with dismay. “Okay. But let’s finish this properly”, she grinned and pulled him into a final, languid kiss – a kiss he returned with enthusiasm.

***

Asuka’s help had been invaluable – even if it did add some blood to the soup – but thanks to it, food was on the table within a quarter from Misato’s arrival. Fortunately for them, their guardian was too tired to ask questions: once the bowls hit the table, she was devouring the food as fast as she could, washing it down with the second can of beer. Not long after, she was rushing through the evening rituals until the well-known – if a little softer than usual – snoring filled the apartment.

***

Shinji Ikari emerged from the bathroom with his mind a little preoccupied. They did not discuss their sleeping arrangements for that night, and that meant it was on him to suggest something, and he was wondering how to do it without–

“Hey, if you’re so perceptive in a battle, you’ll miss a whole host of Angels”, a familiar voice, tinged with amusement, reached him. A well-known and well-liked redhead was standing in the doorframe of her room.

“Oh, hi, I mean, I had something on my mind–” Shinji felt the sudden need to explain himself.

“If it wasn’t me”, she pouted, “I’m going to be offended.”

“Well”, he smiled sheepishly. “In a way, it was. Well, about you”, he admitted.

“Good. Now, not to break the most proper way of thinking, get what you need for the night and come”, she ordered.

“Are you sure?” he eyed he door to their guardian’s room. “We didn’t exactly…” he mimicked the gesture of pouring.

Asuka shrugged. “Have you seen her? I bet this was the first meal she had all day except some energy bars or some cafeteria shit. She’s under and will stay like this for a while. And it’s not that we’re going to be very… loud, right?” she smiled a surprisingly warm smile. “Today, I want… well, you”, she admitted with a blush. “Just you.”

Shinji nodded with a growing blush. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“You better”, her smile widened as she disappeared behind the door.

***

“I could get used to that”, Asuka stretched on the bed as Shinji sat down next to her. “I mean, to you spending every night with me.”

Shinji’s blush deepened. “Well… I wouldn’t mind that”, he admitted.

“Just ‘wouldn’t mind’?” she raised her eyebrow. “That’s your enthusiasm?” the redhead sounded downright offended.

Shinji tilted his head. His reflexes were telling him to apologize, but something in his mind was telling him this would be the worst reaction.

“Yes it is, Asuka, doesn’t it match yours ‘could get used to that’?” he retorted instead. “Like I was some lamp or drapes you ‘get used to’?”

She glared at him. “You want to dictate my enthusiasm?”

“Well, I can make you–” he hesitated. His mind was telling him to push further: ‘ask nicely’, ‘actually beg’, ‘cry like a baby’, or maybe even ‘act like a bitch in heat’. His face turned red as those ideas bubbled up in his mind. _‘Wait. Where is this coming from? Is this **me**?’_

Asuka noticed his confused expression and the growing blush immediately. _‘Oh, I wonder what he tried to say… Does he dare take this further? Because I surely do.’_

With a smirk on her lips and without rising from her comfortable lying position, she reached towards his face, took his chin in her hand, and carefully turned it towards herself. “A kiss for your thoughts, Shinji, and don’t lie about them”, she requested, her voice a bit huskier than she anticipated.

“But–”

“Let’s make a quick deal, okay?” she kept smiling, her voice bordering on seductive. “Satisfy my curiosity, honestly, and I’ll satisfy yours. Tell me ‘no’ here and now, and I won’t ask again… well, not today. Deal? I promise not to laugh”, her hand was slowly moving along his cheek. “We’re past that, right?”

Shinji nodded, his lips thin. “Okay”, he agreed. Taking a deep breath, he started: “I was thinking about all the things I– all the things you let me do to you. I mean, the things I cause you to do. All the things I bring out from–”

“You mean, all the things I never did before, and I’m no longer hesitant to do around you?” Asuka smiled a dreamy smile. “Like what? Tell me”, she rose to face him, their eyes now on even level. “Tell me what you like to make me do”, she narrowed her eyes, her smile almost predatory.

Shinji’s blush deepened. _‘She’s like a big cat, one of those that loves to both get scratches and break bones between its jaws’_, he realized. _‘But… she didn’t hurt me since, well, it all began. And now… this is an invitation, right?’_

“I like to see you obey”, he rattled out before thinking, his voice slowly shifting in _that _direction. “You could resist any time, you could easily stop me – but you never do. You assume a position. You take the blows. You _ask_ for things.”

Asuka’s smile turned half-warm, half-embarrassed. “Does this make you happy?”

Shinji nodded, his expression somewhat ashamed. Asuka’s smile widened.

“Good”, she retorted. “I **want** you to be happy. And I want you to remember one thing: **don’t stop**”, her voice gained sudden certainty. “If I ever get tired of that, if I ever grow to loathe that, you’ll know. In advance. So… what is your command…?” an unspoken ‘master’ hung on the end of the sentence; Shinji could swear she spoke it, all the evidence to the contrary.

“Kiss me”, he said, his voice not entirely his own.

“That’s all?” she raised her eyebrows, her voice disappointed.

“Did I include ‘speak first’ in that request?” he retorted, his voice in all the _proper_ registers.

Asuka closed her eyes as a tingle of pleasure ran through her body. _‘Yes. Just right.’_

With a wide smile, she dropped on her back, threw one of her legs over his head, clasped him in a strong grip of her thighs – and before he could react, she was sitting in his lap, her lips millimeters from his, her eyes dreamy. “Mine”, she muttered half a second before she pulled him closer and locked her lips with his.

Without the specter of the unprepared dinner and unfinished duties looming over them, they could take their time. At the same time, the mood was somewhat different than in the afternoon; Asuka’s approach was possessive, determined, relentless – but also slow and measured.

Shinji was trying his best to match that approach – but found himself in the defensive all the time. It suited him, though: this reduced the risk of him panicking, after all. _‘Well… I **did** order her to kiss me, and she does, right?’_ he rationalized, putting his rationalization stepper motor to work. Of course, there was very little processing power it could work on – Asuka’s ministrations were taking virtually all of his attention.

Just as she intended.

***

“Satisfied… Shinji?” Asuka smiled a wry smile once she finally broke the kiss.

“By all means”, he replied with a warm smile. “You’re a good girl, Asuka”, he stated absentmindedly, his tone dreamy.

Her eyes snapped open and she straightened her arms so that she was now staring at him, face to face. “How did you call me?” she asked in a tone that somehow sounded both pleased and threatening.

“I… I think I called you a good girl. I’m so-hm”, he stopped himself. “I think you are, deep down.”

“Say it again”, she demanded in a voice not entirely her own.

“Asuka?” he tilted his head, his voice wary.

“Do you want me to beg?” her voice was still off compared to her usual register.

_‘Yes, I would really like to see that’_, a dangerous, _treacherous_ thought appeared on the verge of his mind, only confirming his worries. _‘What am I becoming?’_

He shook his head and refocused on Asuka. She was still staring at him, her eyes filled with mixed emotions. Acting purely on impulse and instinct, he raised his hand and slowly stroke Asuka’s hair. “Good girl. I think you’re a good girl.”

The hurricane of emotions on her face made his pulse double. There was anger, satisfaction, hatred, happiness, fear, and bliss – all within seconds. The moment it cleared, only one thing remained: disbelief.

Her breath was short and her body tense, as she was fighting down an emotion; he could swear she was clenching her jaws. He tilted his head and his face went from relaxed to focused. “Asuka…” he started. “Let it out. Hit me, if it’s necessary. Cry, if it helps. Talk, if you want to. Your secrets are safe with me”, he stated firmly, his hand dropping to her shoulder.

“It’s stupid!” her whisper was, as impossible as it was, bordering on a scream. “It’s stupid, I’m stupid, this should not work like this! Why do I like this?” Her face went from ‘softly wet’ to ‘covered in tears’ within seconds.

“Asuka…” he touched her face again and smiled. “It’s all right–”

“**No**”, she pushed him away angrily, making him fall on his back. “Not like this”, she jumped up to an upright position in front of him. Her eyes were gleaming in the darkness, clearly teary – but also angry.

He blinked. “I’m so–” he reverted to his old reflex.

“Wrong answer, Third”, she hissed. “No pity, right? No half-measures? Do it **properly**”, she demanded, her glare an odd mix of anger and hope. _‘Please, use that brain of yours. You’re an idiot, but you’re not **stupid**. I told you everything you need. We just **talked** about that, and you **did**_ _the right thing minutes ago! Think!’_

***

Shinji shook his head to clear his mind, closed his eyes to reduce distractions, and took a deep breath to calm himself. He was aware this was some kind of a test, no matter whether done consciously or not. He was sure Asuka would not put him in a situation where there was no good answer – the past Asuka would, certainly; the new one, the one he saw take shape in the last few weeks, definitely not.

Pushing aside unhelpful thoughts and jokes about this possibly being an oral exam, he realized there was no time for analysis. The answer had to be given now. He would have to think as Asuka would.

The moment this thought entered his mind, it clicked. Before doubt and second thoughts could overtake him, he slowly rose back to sitting position, opened his eyes, fixated his glare on her face, and he spoke up.

***

“Asuka, behave”, he started in a tone he would use towards a puppy or a cat he was being difficult. “Sit down– no”, he stopped himself; a small smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. “Kneel.”

She opened her mouth, her face expressing once more the familiar mix of anger, disbelief, and pleasure. She took a step towards him before realizing she did. _‘Fuck. I… I…’_

“Kneel here, on the floor, next to me”, he gestured downward to a spot next to his legs. “Let’s see if you **are** a good girl.”

She clenched her teeth again. A battle was raging inside her mind, a battle between forces composed of “dignity”, “stubbornness”, and “reason”, facing a coalition made of “hope”, “desire for inner peace” and “growing submissiveness”. Both sides seemed equally matched, the results of the fight showing on her face and wreaking havoc in her mind. With her attention turned inward, she started to realize that the ‘against’ faction was starting to win; _‘just say the word and this will be over, and you end this as a normal person would!’_ was the predominant thought. _‘It’s too soon for this, don’t commit too much yet!’_ another thought chimed in. Her mouth was already opening–

–until she turned her attention on the outside just for a second and noticed his eyes. This was not a glare of panic as she had often seen in the past; this was not a look of worry he gave her often, this was not a gaze of a tyrant she would rebel against, nor was it an insecure gaze of someone she would fear to rely on. He looked at her with the utmost care and – however much she feared the term – with love: in a way nobody was looking at her for years – if ever. He was silent now – but she did not really need any more words.

Maybe except those two she wanted to hear again.

She took that one step and dropped to her knees, resting her head on his thigh. He put his hand on the top of her head, slowly stroking her hair. She shivered; tears started to flow from her, uninvited but not unwelcome. Her whole body shook; the skin under his hand was burning, her whole body felt like it was dissolving under his touch, her mind melting from the heat–

“Good girl”, he spoke as he slid his hand underneath her hair and rested it on her neck. “Now I’m sure you are a good girl”, he smiled at her.

Asuka blindly reached up, grabbing his free hand with a vice-like grasp. “Asuka?”

“Keep going”, she demanded in a husky voice.

He smiled a smile of relief as his free hand gently squeezed her neck and returned to stroking her hair; he could swear she was purring softly.

***

The night was deep; the peaceful breathing of a girl in his arms was calming the boy’s heart and giving him a measure of ease. He was not sure why Asuka reacted as she did: he knew he had little chance of understanding how she thought. But what he did clearly had made her happy – and this was everything that mattered to him right now.

_‘I can ask her tomorrow. Or some later time’_, he decided. _“And maybe I can make this work. No… maybe **we** can make it work…’_

He knew well there was a long way ahead of him, filled with battles to fight: with the Angels, with the girl that was currently in his arms, and – first and foremost – with himself.

But for now, all seemed right with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I am, on the track again. I have brought the other projects to a spot where they can wait, and that allows me to focus on this story exclusively for most of the month or two. I intend to finish it this year – as it began in January, so shall it end in December, the world burning notwithstanding, unless it burns me, too. But as long as it does not, I intend to deliver this – hopefully – enjoyable tale to you as planned.
> 
> Stay safe, stay tuned.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, so good. You are hereby invited to enjoy the continuing awkwardness and joy.

_ Sunday morning _

Asuka Langley Shikinami was returning to consciousness slowly, tattered remnants of her dreams still dancing on the borders of her semi-conscious mind. She stretched lazily, enjoying the only morning this week that was free from the sound of the alarm clock, unburdened by the rush to get ready for school, without the vision of spending hours upon hours listening to the droning of a teacher.

It was one of those few days in which she could simply wake up slowly, like a good girl deserved, like–

The pieces of a dream returned to her, a kind of a dream she was not used to. It was not a nightmare, for once; those were all too common, even if they diminished in frequency in recent times. It was not a wet dream; those happened with increased frequency. It was not a very bizarre one, too – those were just common.

No, it was quite realistic and pleasant: she was talking to someone, someone she knew, a boy. He called her that, he called her a ‘good girl’. And it felt… oddly pleasant.

Another piece came back to her, along with the sound of a coffee maker starting up. Asuka took a quick look around the room.

She was alone in her bed – but judging from the presence of another pillow and a blanket, she did not spend that night alone. This, by itself, was not yet a reason to panic. But–

The pieces slowly came together; a cold shiver ran down her spine, along with a very familiar tingling in her stomach.

“Fuck. Not a dream?”

***

Shinji Ikari was in his natural environment.

A pan full of carefully grilled fresh fish, a softly bubbling pot with a vegetable soup, and a coffee maker ready to serve, accompanied by a radio playing classical music – the kitchen was his domain, the place he exercised his growing cooking skills, an area where none of his cohabitants were able to compete with him, a place where he indisputably ruled, his sovereign kingdom.

A kingdom that was about to be brutally invaded.

A pair of strong hands grabbed him from behind the moment he put the pan down, one covering his mouth and the other resting on his throat. “Good morning, Shinji”, a familiar voice whispered into his ear. “I’ll spare you the effort: add five to the count for this, but tell me first: what happened last night, what did you do to me that I am so wonderfully relaxed, and why I barely remember a thing?”

The boy took a deep breath and tapped the hand over his mouth with his finger.

“Ah. Right”, Asuka conceded and released him from her grasp.

Turning to face her, Shinji gave an expression that was a perfect mix of annoyance, amusement, and exasperation. “Good morning, Asuka”, he spoke with a sigh. “It’s a bit longer of a story, but I assure you, I did nothing you didn’t ask me to. And why you don’t remember, I’m not sure, we were surely not under any influence… what **do** you remember?” he paused. “And excuse me, I need to watch the breakfast, so…” he pointed a spot by his side.

“Misato?” Asuka asked with worry in her voice.

“In the bathroom”, he replied with a smile. “She can’t hear us for a few more minutes, not over the radio and the water, but that’s all we have. So?” his smile turned warmer.

“We… talked”, Asuka recalled. “And… we fought?”

Shinji chuckled. “Kind of. Briefly. Then… well… you took your place.”

***

_ About four minutes later _

“…and then I just kept stroking your hair. After a while, I realized you fell asleep, I lifted you to bed, making sure you don’t wake up, you clung to me like a koala bear while still asleep. I spent some time listening to your relaxed breathing, and fell asleep myself”, he finished with a smile.

Asuka’s face was pink, her stomach felt like it was full of butterflies, and she was quite convinced her body reacted in a few other _fun_ ways as well.

“I really thought it was a dream”, she murmured.

“Well, it did feel like that to me once you… well…” Shinji trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

“Sure, keep rubbing it in”, Asuka, now completely red-faced, grumbled softly as she looked aside.

Shinji squashed the reflex to apologize. Something was telling him this was a bad idea. A rather insane idea dawned in his mind; aware it would be filed away ‘for a better time’ within seconds, he decided to act. Reducing the fire under the pan with one hand, he reached to her with the other.

***

Asuka felt a sudden jolt of electricity that sparked from her face and flew down her body; a quick movement and half a second later, she realized it was a hand touching her cheek – and soon after, his lips were touching hers.

Her first reflex was to pull away, fully aware of her current state, morning breath, and how much it contrasted with his ready-to-face-the-day state; it was one thing when they both were like this, and very much another when there was an obvious difference between them. But once she tried, she found it impossible – there was a hand, resting on her neck, a hand that gently stopped her retreat. Shinji paused and moved a few millimeters away from her.

“Be a good girl and let me enjoy the wonderful morning, Asuka”, his voice was soft, but in _just in the right register_; Asuka wanted to protest, but it suddenly felt pointless and futile – just like any notion of resistance. “Don’t worry, we have a moment”, he reassured her before closing the minuscule distance and sending another jolt of electricity along her body.

_ ‘Hello, day. You certainly start… well’ _ , she managed to think before deciding there is no reason to use her brain for anything but enjoying the sensation – and finally returned the kiss.

***

“I could get used to that”, Asuka purred half an eternity – or a few minutes – later. “Can you promise me it will happen more often?”

“You seemed… reluctant”, Shinji remarked as he halfheartedly returned his attention to the cooking food. “At least in the beginning.”

Asuka wiggled her eyebrows. “And I will be, always”, she smiled a crooked yet dreamy smile.

Shinji shot her a confused glare, causing her smile to grow even more crooked. It took him a few seconds for something to click in his mind.

“Oh”, he smiled a wry smile. “So… that’s the game?”

Asuka narrowed her eyes, her expression still dreamy. “Can you play it?”

“Whatever makes you happy”, his smile straightened.

Asuka’s lips turned into a pout. “Don’t **you** like it?”

Shinji’s expression turned thoughtful. That was one of those subjects he has been avoiding – or, more precisely, shelving – mainly because the obvious answer was making him worried. “I…” he started. “I don’t know, Asuka. What if I do like it too much?”

Asuka narrowed her eyes, this time in a predatory expression. “Then, dear Shinji, I’ll just hit you… or use the word. Right?” she grinned. “Trust me on that.”

His expression suddenly relieved, he smiled. “I do”, he replied, his voice serious. “And now, Asuka, I suggest you go to your room and grab your day clothing”, he added in his usual tone.

“Is that an order?” her smile turned softer.

“Not really, just a reaction to the fact that water’s no longer running, and Misato should not see us like this… or she’ll have her suspicions”, he explained in a hushed tone.

“Erm”, Asuka touched her still-hot face. “Right. See you at the table”, she smiled an embarrassed smile and scampered away. Shinji was left alone with the breakfast – and his thoughts.

_ ‘She’s right. I won’t abuse it… but if I really like it, what does it make me?’ _

***

“Coffee, Misato?” Shinji greeted his guardian with a cup in hand as she emerged from the bathroom, her face still betraying the sings of yesterday’s exhaustion. Asuka used that moment to emerge from her room and to head towards the bathroom behind Misato’s back, her change of clothes thrown over her shoulder.

As Misato stared at the coffee maker with a ponderous stare, Asuka stopped in the doorframe leading to the bathroom. Shinji shot the redhead a questioning glare – and that was his mistake. With a slow and deliberate move, Asuka lifted the hem of her nightshirt until it became perfectly clear this was the absolutely only clothing she was wearing at this moment. Shinji’s face changed from ‘slightly flushed’ to ‘full-blown red’ within seconds – and his pants, already abused this morning by the results of the kiss became horribly uncomfortable again. As a credit to his willpower, he managed to turn away on the spot, returning his attention to the soup.

“Yes… please”, Misato finally articulated, her voice heavy. “Are you all right, Shin-chan?”

“Y-yes, Misato, give me a moment, take a seat, the breakfast is almost ready!”

***

Misato smiled triumphantly as she took a seat and watched the red-faced Shinji scurry around the kitchen. Apparently, the new top, chosen for its tightness and cleavage, had just passed its field test. Of course, she would only wear it on days where her charge did not have any serious duties – or when the distraction was needed. After all, the boy was far too innocent to be able to bear much more.

***

Asuka was barely able to contain her laughter; she perfectly knew that this was going to cost her at least five – but she did not really care. Quite the opposite: she welcomed the thought of presenting her bottom again, this time to her _boyfriend_, not just the ma– boy she graciously granted the right to hurt her.

The images of the well-rehearsed routine slowly filled her mind: Shinji giving her an order to strip and her dutifully removing the dress and panties – if she even bothered to put them on. Shinji telling her to assume the position and her obediently bending over the table or the boxes, exposing her bottom – and quite a bit more. Shinji correcting her posture and her willingly complying, despite this leading to him being able to see even more of her nakedness. Shinji waiting until she settled, enjoying his power over her and the view she presented – and her enjoying the apprehension of the scene, the tasty anticipation of pain to come, the sweetness of being laid bare before him. Shinji’s gesture of placing the cold strap against her bottom and the shiver that always accompanied that moment. The swish of the implement and the involuntary tension of the muscles her body reacted with. The first stroke and the delightful pain radiating from her bottom. The multitudes of nerve endings firing everywhere, especially in–

_ ‘Breakfast has to wait’ _ , she suddenly decided, her stomach fluttering and her nether parts radiating palpable heat. She removed the nightshirt, anchored one of her hands to the sink, and stared at her own flushed face, perfectly visible in the mirror. She conjured the last image that fitted this situation, an image she fantasized about but never had the courage to make a reality: Shinji standing behind her, his hand or arm on her throat, his fingers between her legs, teasing her, rubbing her, slowly bringing her to orgasm.

The building sensation made her realize that she already started – and while her fingers did not feel so good as rubbing against him did – they certainly did the good work. _‘Slut, I’m a fucking slut… and either he learns to love that and **use** that’_, on this thought she sped up, another jolt of arousal stemming from indistinct, but intense images of Shinji enjoying her body,_ ‘or I’m getting a repetitive strain injury and endless frustration’_, she concluded about twenty seconds before she had to bite down on the wrist of her other hand in a barely-successful attempt to contain her moan.

She slowly opened her eyes, both dreading and hoping someone was behind her, watching. To her dismay and her relief, she was alone. “You **are** a slut, girl”, she admonished her red-faced reflection. “And you know what?” she smiled. “I **like** it that way.”

_ ‘Let’s hope he does, too’ _ , a sliver of doubt crept into her mind. She glared at her reflection again and focused on that doubt. _‘I’ve seen his reaction, just a few minutes and one rub ago. His eyes were glued, good that Misato was half asleep. No. He’s a teenage boy. He **wants** me’_, she grinned. _‘And–’_

A loud grumble of her stomach interrupted her train of thoughts. _‘First things first’_, she decided before heading towards the bathroom door. _‘I’ll take that shower later…’_

With her hand on the door handle, she stopped. _‘Food is important. Not recreating the Pen Pen Panic Incident, beneficial as it might have been, is far more important’_, she realized as she went back and started putting her clothes on.

***

“Asuka, are you all right?” Shinji eyed the redhead as she took her place at the table. “You look… feverish.”

The girl shot him a heavy glare. _‘Is he seriously that dense, or is this his vengeance for my little stunt?’_ she wondered briefly before retorting: “The night was hot, okay? And the water was hotter than usual.”

Shinji could swear there was a note of amusement underneath that grumble. He smiled a wry smile as his eyes slid over her perfectly dry hair. “Coffee, then?” he changed the subject.

“That’s the least you can do, considering that Misato is already stuffing her face”, Asuka eyed their guardian who was eating faster than usual.

Shinji chuckled. “As you wish”, he bowed slightly, pushed a cup into the coffee maker, and pressed some arcane combination of buttons in quick succession.

In about two minutes there was a bowl with soup, a small plate with grilled fish, a small sauce cup with an odd-smelling mix, and a cup of perfect coffee – all laid out before her. “Enjoy your breakfast, d-Asuka”, his façade dropped just for a moment.

“I do hope this is not one of those weird marinated fish you–” she stopped in her tracks, seeing how hurt Shinji looked for a moment. “Okay, I’ll give it a chance.”

“Thank you”, his expression became relieved. “Misato? Seconds?”

Their guardian shook her head. “I’m fine”, she managed as she swallowed the last and washed it down with the coffee. “On second thought, yes, please”, she countermanded and extended her hand with a bowl in the general direction of her charge.

“You **really** didn’t eat much yesterday”, Misato could swear Shinji’s tone was almost scolding. She just shrugged, her smile sheepish. Shinji shook his head and handed her another bowl of the soup.

“Asuka?” her turned to the redhead who was going through her meal with more dignity, despite her still-flushed face, currently partially obscured by her loose hair.

“I’m fine, thank you”, she refused. “At least I eat regularly, thanks to your cooking. It’s important for your metabolism”, she shot Misato a short glare. Narrowed eyes on part of the older woman were the only response.

Shinji let out a sigh as he composed his own plater. The last thing he needed now was an argument. Fortunately for him, Asuka was too flummoxed to follow on that thread – and Misato seemed to be in too good spirits to argue.

This was definitely starting to be a good day.

***

The ambush happened as Shinji emerged from his room.

“Hi Shinji”, Asuka’s voice sounded behind him.

“Hello”, he turned to face the redhead. “If you’re fishing for an increase in the count, that was not an ambush enough. Where’s Misato?”

“Sunday morning beauty time”, Asuka retorted. “We can talk freely.”

His frown subsided. “Good to know. Anything particular you wanted to ambush me with?” he asked, visibly relaxing.

“Yeah, like the first thing you brought up. How much do I owe you for the antics in the morning?” she asked, her voice chirpy.

“Well, five for the morning ambush, and five for that stunt with the shirt”, Shinji’s voice was something between ‘amused’ and ‘annoyed’. “I was wondering if five for lying about the water would not be in order, but I’m writing it off as a necessary camouflage.”

“All that effort and I just reached sixty-five”, Asuka pouted. Before Shinji could react, she shrugged with a smirk: “Oh well, enough to cry twice over, right?”

“You’re really looking forward to it, don’t you?” Shinji eyed her happy expression.

“If you haven’t noticed… I hate it, and I love it. So… yes, I am”, she admitted. “And so are you, deny it all you want.”

Shinji’s face turned more serious. “I… it’s hard”, he raised his hand preemptively. “And before you start your dick jokes, let me finish, okay?”

Asuka’s pout returned, but she remained silent.

“Thank you. Now… I do this for you, yes, but… but I like doing it for you”, he started his explanation. “And I can’t say I don’t enjoy… the sights”, his blush, soft until now, started to grow. “And your… reactions, especially… well…” he trailed off.

“Mm?” Asuka detached from the wall and approached him slowly before wrapping both her arms around his torso and resting her head on his shoulder: a position made only a bit awkward for her by the fact she was a bit taller than him. “My what?” she asked, her voice almost purring. “Don’t be shy, Shinji, we’re long past that.”

“The sounds you make”, he slowly replied. “The grunts, the sighs… and the moans”, his face was now fully red – and Asuka’s smile grew with every word, along with her own blush.

“All the sounds **you** bring out of me”, she purred next to his ear. “Well, this tells me you actually like it more than you’re willing to admit”, she concluded.

“What does it make me?” he asked, a drop of fear in his voice more than obvious. “I should not be enjoying… hurting people.”

Asuka pulled away from him, her hands moving to his arms, their gazes locking. “Fuck that, Shinji”, she declared with a voice as serious as her face. “You’re not enjoying hurting **people**. You’re enjoying hurting **me**, and only because I **allow** that, no, because I **demand** that and **enjoy** that”, she stated. “I can stop this anytime, I can stop **you** anytime, and you always accepted that. Maybe you’re a sadist, maybe you’re not, I don’t know”, she shrugged. “But try imagining, just for a second, doing what you enjoy doing to me to someone who’s **not** enjoying it, someone who is crying and begging you to stop… Try that, and tell me how do you feel?” she kept her eyes locked to his as she talked.

Shinji pondered for a moment, his lips a thin line. “Like a damned monster”, he replied after a moment. “Like…” he tried finding some comparison, but nothing came to mind. “Well, just horribly.”

“Exactly”, Asuka’s voice carried a note of triumph. “Because you’re not a monster. You do it because **we** enjoy it together”, she explained and pulled him into a fierce hug. “And I want you to keep doing this to me”, she whispered into his ear. “I want you to hurt me when I deserve it, I want you to hurt me when I ask for it, I want you to–” she stopped herself just before articulating the coveted but dreaded _‘I want you to break me’_.

“Asuka?” his voice was concerned.

“I… we’ll get there”, she replied, he breath almost a pant. “We’ll get there. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that”, he smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

A sudden “**Fuck!**” came echoing from the bathroom. “Guys, we need to talk!” followed a second later.

The teenagers detached and jumped away from each other. A cold shiver went up Asuka’s spine. _‘Fuck. Did she just hear us?’_

She could tell from Shinji’s expression that he was worried as well. _‘Oh well, at least we’ll face it together’_, she shoved the worry aside. For some reason, this conclusion made her feel much better.

“We need to talk”, came a clearer message once the door opened and Misato emerged in the gust of steam, haphazardly wrapped in three separate towels. “Be good kids and don’t wander off while I dress, okay?”

Two disheartened nods were the only reply.

***

_ A few stressful minutes later _

Misato emerged from her room in her uniform skirt and stockings, her hands straightening the blouse, her hair wrapped in a disheveled towel. “Okay, Asuka, Shinji? Can I have your attention for a minute?”

Both teenagers were sitting at the table; Asuka looked like someone was about to be executed; Shinji had a barely better expression.

“Okay, there’s no good way to say it”, Misato started in a grim voice, taking the morose mood of her charges as anticipation of bad news. “The NERV is a mess right now. There was an… accident in the North American branch”, she paused; the teenagers exchanged odd looks. “Unit-04 is lost, and apparently, the whole branch, all the installation, all the people, all of it… is gone”, her voice shook just a bit. “I’m heading for the briefing to NERV HQ and you…”

“We enter combat readiness?” Shinji took a guess, his voice low.

Misato shook her head. “Negative, not more than usual. It’s very unlikely this had been an Angel, and even so, we’d detect it long before it approached Japan… and we have no way of operating across the Pacific. No. You have two options: go with me or promise you’re going to be good kids and stay here.”

Shinji tilted his head. “Misato, do you expect us to throw a **party** here? After getting this kind of news?”

Misato chuckled despite the grim mood; a vision of Shinji throwing a party was simply too absurd to even consider. “Not really, but I’d rather have your word you don’t do anything stupid while I’m away, okay?”

“No problem… I have some cleaning and homework to catch up on. So… yes, I can promise to be a good boy”, he smiled a small smile.

Misato turned her eyes to Asuka; the girl’s hair, usually put in the twin tails, was hanging loosely and obscuring half her face. A rather red face, Misato noted with a small furrow of her brows. “Asuka?”

“I promise to be a good girl”, Asuka spoke, her voice not her own. “And I think I’ll just go lie down”, she added. “Third, do we have any aspirin?”

Shinji nodded. “I’ll check the medicine chest, but I’m pretty sure we do.”

“Asuka?” Misato inquired.

“I’m not feeling too well, okay? Don’t worry, it’ll pass. No need to call an ambulance”, she grumbled. “Just… one thing, Misato… will you tell us more once you know more?”

The woman nodded. “Yes, unless they specifically order me not to”, she reassured her.

“Thanks. Sorry”, she slinked to her room.

Misato eyed Shinji. “Do you know what’s up?” she asked, seeing his worried expression.

“No clue”, he replied. “You saw she was perfectly fine in the morning … and nothing was wrong a few minutes ago when she passed by. Maybe it’s her period?”

Misato’s face grew confused for a second, then she shook her head. “Right, makes sense you thought of that, but that’s not it, trust me. Will you take care of her? Just make sure you don’t catch it if it’s some flu.”

“I will”, he smiled carefully before realizing another problem. “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you to need a bento today, I can prepare something quick–”

“No time”, the Colonel stood up and pulled the towel from her hair, trying to dry them the best she could. “I have to be there in less than half an hour. I’ll grab something in the cafeteria if it takes too long. If I’m lucky it’s just the briefing and then I’ll go home… I’ll call you if I’ll be staying longer, okay?”

Shinji nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami was on her back in her own bed; a stampede of thoughts was rushing through her mind, most of them unpleasant, some of them helpful, few of them redeeming.

_ ‘I’m a fucking monster, I was more concerned about getting caught than anything else.’ _

_ ‘It’s fine to think of immediate danger before considering the ramifications. You can’t help those that died by feeling bad.’ _

_ ‘You were relieved when you heard of the incident. You preferred thousands of deaths to being caught.’ _

_ ‘You don’t control your emotions. You did feel sorry later.’ _

_ ‘Maybe you should control them. Especially that it’s kind of stupid to still feel horny after hearing of this all.’ _

_ ‘It’s hard to control a physiological reaction. This has nothing to do with it.’ _

_ ‘Still, you should feel stupid about it. It’s good that you do.’ _

_ ‘No, it’s not good. Maybe you should talk to him about it?’ _

_ ‘Maybe it’s none of his business?’ _

_ ‘Maybe–’ _

_ ‘**Silence**’ _ , Asuka demanded. _‘Both of you. I’ll ask for your help when I need it.’_

She realized her hands hurt; a quick check made her realize she drove her nails deep into her palms. “Fuck. Funny, have a stupid breakdown over something so minor… I guess he should not–”

A soft knocking interrupted her. “Asuka? Can I come in?”

_ ‘He and his fucking timing’ _ , she growled. A quick skirmish between ‘let him in’ and ‘keep festering dark thoughts’ was over before it properly began, though. “Come in”, she requested, trying to assume a more dignified position than ‘lying on her bed with a wet face and messy hair spread everywhere’.

“Asuka, I got you some tea”, he entered the room with a tray. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, but if you got aspirin there, I’m revoking your ‘you know me well’ card”, her voice was still low.

Shinji smiled softly. “Well… I know there’s nothing wrong with your body, so it had to be your mind… I have no idea what happened, sorry, but tea is always a good option, right? For you, I mean, for Misato, I’d be bringing beer. And to you, I can also offer hugs.”

_ ‘Can you also offer to beat the stupid thoughts out of me?’ _ a stray idea passed through her mind. She pushed it aside just for a moment. “Thanks”, she smiled weakly, her voice still morose. “It’s all just a stupid… well, mix of things. Everything – well, most of it – was so well, and then… boom.”

“Sounds like the story of our lives, right?” he smiled sadly, handing her the cup. “But we’re still good, right? This didn’t ‘go boom’?”

She shot him a glare. “Idiot-Shinji, is this tea on your head? Are you being removed from this room with both my legs at once? Are you currently being pummeled to death for sitting on my bed? Of course we’re fine. And put that cup away”, she demanded. “I want a hug.”

“As you wish”, he smiled again and extended his arms. After about half a second of pondering, Asuka simply grabbed one of his arms and pulled him down into a tight embrace.

_ ‘Note to self: don’t call my girlfriend “octopus”. No matter how fitting it is right now.’ _

***

“…and long story short, I felt bad about being relieved over the death of hundreds”, Asuka finished her short explanation she started over a cup of already lukewarm tea. The prolonged hug treatment helped a lot – her mind was calmer now and she did not feel _that_ bad anymore.

“Sorry… but I think that should be my reaction”, Shinji chuckled.

“What?” Asuka tilted her head.

“Well… I think some of my approach to people and guilt rubbed over on you”, he explained. “For better or worse.”

“It’s not that you have a monopoly for empathy, you know?” she grunted. “And if you’re going to laugh at me…”

Shinji’s face turned serious as he shook his head. “I’m not laughing at you, I’m just… this is odd to hear from you, you know? It’s not a side of you I see… well, at all”, he explained. “I mean, maybe you had it all along, but never really showed it, right?”

Asuka shrugged. “Maybe. Not many occasions to it, and you… well, I didn’t trust you much – or anyone, for that matter – until recently.”

“Thank you”, he whispered.

“For what?” Asuka tilted her head.

“For that trust. I hope… well, I hope I won’t betray it”, he continued, his voice solemn.

“You better not”, she replied in a vaguely threatening tone. “Now, what about that party?”

He shook his head on the sudden mood whiplash. “What party?”

“The one we promised not to throw. Are we keeping that promise?” Asuka raised an eyebrow.

“Ah. That party”, Shinji chuckled. “I don’t feel like dancing. Nor do I feel like… you know. Unless you want to”, he concluded.

Asuka shook her head. “Not today. I mean, I’d kill for such an opportunity not too long ago, but now… can we like, just cuddle? I’d rather not be alone”, she asked in a voice that was almost pleading. He absentmindedly noticed that he never heard her use that voice with anyone but him – and only when they were alone.

“Gladly…” he replied carefully, “but not here. We can use the couch, maybe? Watching TV together is easier to explain than being in your bed”, he suggested. “Just in case Misato happens to walk on us.”

“Damn, and I didn’t have time to rent the Monty Python movies”, she grumbled. “I even found a rental that has them! With subtitles!”

“We can go there tomorrow after school, right?” he suggested.

“Yes, of course”, she agreed, “but we still have nothing for today… unless **you** have something?”

“Um…” Shinji’s face suddenly turned red. Asuka’s eyebrows shot up and a crooked smile crept up on lips.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If so, how did you manage to get them?” she asked, her eyebrows wiggling.

“Errrr… easily?” his eyes started to shoot around. “I found the right tapes and just rented them? I was waiting for the moment you’d go somewhere, and I could’ve started using them–”

“Wait. You’re far too open about that”, Asuka furrowed her brow in suspicion. “What tapes exactly we’re talking here?”

“German courses?”

A bout of loud, helpless, hysterical laughter carried over the empty corridors and sunny streets.

***

“Yes, Misato, I’ll make dinner for you to warm up. Don’t worry, there’s no party. It’s just Asuka having a laughter attack. I **think** I am to blame, but I’m not sure why. She’s been like that for the last five minutes. No, she’s fine… I think. Yes, I’ll administer medical help if necessary. Sure, see you later!” Shinji hung the wall phone and returned to Asuka’s room in a few quick steps.

“Asuka, do you require medical attention?” he asked, his eyebrow raised at the redhead who was still shaking in a final paroxysm of her laughter.

She waved her hand. “S-sorry, I… really?”

Shinji shrugged with an embarrassed smile. “I thought it would be nice to, well, understand your odd word inserts. Or…” he trailed off.

“Or?” she insisted.

“You mentioned you’d like to hear commands in German. I suppose the course would not make it possible, but it would be a start?”

She took a deep breath, her vision suddenly clouded. “Okay. That is, aside from your… care, is one of the sweetest things someone ever tried to do for me”, she started, her voice shaky. “Slap me so I know this is not a dream.”

“I… I’d rather not?” his voice reached a bit of a panicky register.

She took another deep breath. “Why?”

“Because it’s a bit much–” he started, panic clear in his voice.

“No”, she shook her head. “Why did you do that? Why did you want to learn **for** me?”

“Because it would make you happy? I mean, I thought it would, sorry–” a finger landed on his lips, cutting him off.

“It would”, she admitted. “But… well… you could have asked **me**, you know?”

“I was hoping for a surprise”, he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry to have ruined it.”

Asuka shook her head. “It’s… better this way. Let’s be realistic, your first attempts would be likely… well, not very good. And if I laughed at them… well. It would not work out well.”

His smile remained sheepish. “I guess you’re right. But still, that’s the only thing we have to watch.”

The redhead waved her hand. “I don’t care what we watch, I want you with me. Let’s throw some music channel on and cuddle to the sound of some pop… or Western music if we can find some reasonable selection. How does this sound?”

“Perfect. But we need to do one more thing before that”, Shinji declared.

“And that is?” Asuka raised an eyebrow.

“Make dinner. Because I know I won’t be too willing to leave your arms once I find myself there”, he smiled.

Asuka pouted over a smile. “I hate it when you’re right. But”, she raised a finger, “I demand a proper hug first. And then I’ll help you.”

“As you wish”, Shinji smiled.

***

“Ooh, ‘History of metal music in Japan’… sorry, Shinji, I have to see that”, the redhead sounded positively thrilled.

“So… no cuddling?” Shinji’s voice was obviously disappointed.

“What are you, stupid?” Asuka asked rhetorically. “It just means **I** get to sit facing the TV. Come here”, she patted her thighs.

“I’m kind of heavy”, he protested weakly.

“And I’ve got thighs of an Amazon warrior”, she grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll push you off if you get **too** heavy.”

Shinji found no good reply to that statement – and no words to speak at all the moment his brain helpfully provided him with the images of said thighs in various positions and various stages of undress. He simply followed the call and allowed himself to be locked in a strong embrace.

***

The sound of the door woke them both up. Disentangling and straightening took less than two seconds; shaking the haze of sleep took a bit longer.

“I’m home…” Misato declared from the door. “Is anyone up?”

“Welcome home”, Shinji got up first, leaving Asuka concealed by the couch’s backrest. “I was waiting for you”, he smiled.

“Shin-chan, you have school tomorrow, you should’ve gone to sleep!” she protested weakly.

“Don’t worry, I think I dazed off here”, he retorted. “Let me warm the dinner for you… is there anything you need to tell us right away?”

Misato hung her jacket and shook her head. “Not really”, she paused as she approached the bathroom. “The incident was… bad, but we were told only the bare minimum, so I can’t tell you much except that Unit-04 is gone for good. They’re hurrying the delivery of Unit-03 here in the wake of the incident, the Americans refuse to have anything to do with it now. There are some… conditions to that, but I’ll have to talk to Asuka about that… tomorrow.”

Shinji nodded. “Sure. Do you want a beer with that?” he asked, gesturing towards the pan.

“Yes, but just one. Thank you, Shin-chan. You’re a wonderful kid”, she smiled a weak smile before disappearing behind the bathroom door.

“This smells”, a distrustful whisper sounded behind him. “And I don’t mean the fish.”

“Want some?” Shinji gestured to the pan. “Sounds legit, to be honest. There was an incident, they want to get rid of another potential bomb.”

“Yeah, and they ship it **here**, to a heavily populated city and the Japanese center of NERV operations. Great thinking”, Asuka hissed sarcastically. “And no, thanks, I’m not hungry, and you know how I feel about too much fish. I really hope you’re not putting this into tomorrow’s bento.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got us sausages for that. I think you should hide… Misato thinks you’re asleep”, Shinji suggested.

“Right. Conspiracy”, she agreed. “But on one condition.”

“That being?” Shinji raised an eyebrow.

“You’ll come to join me in my bed once you make sure she’s in her bed”, she requested.

“Okay, tuck our kid in and come to bed, roger that”, he replied before thinking. “S-sorry, I–” he tried to backtrack as his face turned beet-red.

“Shut up and… shut up”, Asuka retorted flawlessly, her face in similar colors. “Just… later”, she added as she turned and run to her room, leaving Shinji alone with his embarrassment.

***

“Asuka, I–” he started as they were settling into a comfortable cuddling position. Misato was already sound asleep in her room; while one beer was rarely enough to knock her out, connected with her general lack of sleep and today’s stress, it had proven to be more than enough.

“Shut up, I told you before we’re going to–” she insisted.

“Can you _listen_ before you tell me to shut up again?” he whispered, insistently. Whispers did not carry _that_ tone of voice too well, but the intent was clear – and effective. “Thank you. I just wanted to say that something is bothering Misato. I couldn’t question her, but she said she wants to talk to you tomorrow… maybe you could find out?”

“Hm”, Asuka’s voice was ponderous. “I can try. I suppose it’s something about either Unit-03 or about the incident, right?”

“Likely”, Shinji agreed. “I don’t think much else would be on her mind.”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow. And Shinji…” she trailed off.

“Yes?”

“Thanks for coming to me. You know, when I was here alone”, she whispered. “I always thought I liked being alone. But… I don’t.”

He tightened the hug. “If this is what you want, I’ll never leave you alone.”

“I’ll hold you to that”, she squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

The unwaveringly tight hug was the only response. It was also the most appropriate response.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome again. This chapter is a bit shorter, but it was simply fitting for it to break up where it does.

_Monday afternoon_

NERV halls are usually silent – and few people dare to raise their voices there, never knowing whether the ever-threatening presence of Commander Ikari would not make itself known and chastise them with a stern look for their improper behavior.

There are, of course, exceptions.

“Are you **fucking** **_serious?!_**”

“Asuka, calm down”, Misato demanded, her eyes closed, her face pained. “It’s not my decision, and I don’t like it either. You’re a great pilot and Unit-02 contributes to that. But Commander was adamant, and as he agreed to take Unit-03, we must lock one of the other Units as per Vatican Treaty”, she continued to explain, her voice tired. “He chose yours and was not forthcoming enough to explain _why_. He never is.”

“Wonderful”, the redhead crossed her arms on her chest, her expression sour. “Just wonder-fucking-ful. When?” she shot Misato a hostile glare.

“Wednesday or Thursday. It has to be done before Unit-03 is here, and it’s scheduled to arrive on Friday afternoon”, the Colonel explained, trying to ignore the hatred radiating from the girl. “I assume you’ll want to be there?”

“Of course. I should be at the funeral of my closest companion, right?” Asuka retorted, her voice still venomous.

“Asuka… it’s not _final_, this is a reversible process”, Misato rubbed the bridge of her nose, concluding once more that handling the Pilots was the hardest – or at least most exhausting – part of her job. “It’s designed in a way that allows restoration of Unit-02 within a few days. It’s done simply to make a quick deployment impossible”, she tried to reason with the redhead.

“Yeah, but as long as Unit-03 is in service, my Unit remains sealed, right?” the redhead was not about to give ground.

“Yes, but if you are thinking of sabotaging Unit-03–”

Asuka shot the Colonel a confused glare. “What I’m going to do, climb Unit-03, squat over it, and piss down the Entry Plug hatch?” she shrugged. “I hate it, but I’m not** that** stupid. But don’t you dare tell me I’m not allowed to hate things”, she grumbled. “That’d be unbearable.”

Misato chuckled. “As long as you don’t piss on them in anger, you can, obviously. I’ll try to set it up so that you can attend the process without skipping school.”

“Thanks, I guess”, the redhead retorted, not even bothering to hide her sarcasm. “Was **this** the thing that was bothering you? Our house service said you seemed down.”

“Asuka! Don’t call him that”, Misato scolded her after a moment of confusion about whom the redhead could be referring to. “He’s your fellow Pilot, not a servant!”

“Only in battle. Okay, okay: **Shinji** said you seemed down”, she corrected herself. “Was that the reason? Having to tell me I’m essentially becoming useless?”

“One of the reasons, yes”, Misato admitted. “And it’s not ‘useless’, it’s ‘in reserve’”, she corrected the Pilot. “The other was, well, the rest of the whole situation. Yesterday was… hard. And let’s be honest here, the next few days are going to be busy for everyone involved with this damn cuckoo egg of an Eva.”

“Anything we should know?” Asuka pushed, her voice losing its aggressive undertone.

“Possibly. But not yet”, Misato let out a sigh. “You know how NERV is: nearly everything is on the ‘need to know’ basis and ‘you don’t need to know’ is a common phrase even on my level. I’ll tell you once I know more and I’m allowed to talk about it. Most likely once the… matters with Unit-02 are done”, Misato explained.

“Right”, Asuka nodded. “Can I have your word for that? I really don’t like the secrets”, she requested, simultaneously squashing the small voice loudly calling her a hypocrite.

“I promise I’ll tell you what I can, okay?” Misato confirmed, her voice firm.

“Thanks”, Asuka smiled for the first time since the outburst. “Is there something else, or can I go?”

“You can go… or you can stick for about thirty to forty minutes and drive home with me”, Misato suggested.

“Well, I suppose Shinji will manage to make the dinner without my help”, Asuka’s smile grew warmer. “Besides, even if I reach the bus now, I’d be almost at the same time as you with a car. Okay, I’ll stick around. I’ll be back here in half an hour then”, she declared as she jumped up and headed towards the door.

“Don’t get lost!” Misato yelled after her before turning her attention to the overdue weekly report.

***

“We’re home!”, Misato announced from the door.

“Welcome home!” came back from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready in twenty minutes!”

“Great!” Misato exclaimed as she beelined to the bathroom.

The moment she vanished behind the door, Shinji looked at Asuka quizzically – and she made a ‘so-so’ gesture; he extended his arms in response – and immediately found them full of a clingy redhead.

“I’ll explain later”, she whispered to his ear. “It’s… ugly.”

He nodded and held her for a few seconds before Asuka stepped back. “You finish the dinner, and I’m going to look annoyed at Misato for taking the bathroom first”, she commanded.

“Division of labor, I like that”, he nodded.

“Don’t you pull economic theory concepts on me, Third”, Asuka narrowed her eyes – but not without a smile in the corner of her mouth. “We don’t have that much time, and I hated that subject anyway.”

Shinji shook his head. “Don’t worry, I know just enough about economy to understand taxes… sort of. Unless you want to teach me”, he smiled.

“All in due time, Third. Now, to my duties!” she put on a face that could only be described as ‘I would have stormed the door and murdered you if you had made me wait a few seconds longer’.

Shinji shook his head. The last few months have been tumultuous, but he would not trade them for anything in his life.

***

_Later that night_

“So, what do you say, Asuka?” Shinji whispered from the kitchen as Asuka left the bathroom. “Are we taking chances today?”

“It’s not that we’re going to sing or scream, right?” Asuka shrugged, her tone equally low. “She had two beers, but she’s still tired, so it’s safe. Come”, she took his hand and smiled. “Your duties await. I demand hugs and attention.”

Following her with a glad smile on his face, he briefly wondered how natural it felt to have settled in the new role.

***

“Speaking of duties, how exactly did your recon mission go?” Shinji asked Asuka as she was brushing her hair. “You seemed… down. And what Misato–”

“Right. I didn’t tell you much”, Asuka realized. “Okay, long story short – do I get advance on swearing?” she asked as she put the brush down and sat cross-legged on the bed, well within his arms reach.

Shinji shook his head at the sudden question. “Is there a reason for that?”

“You know, I’ll just tell you and you’ll decide”, she shrugged. “So, I got royally fucked in the ass: Unit-02 is being put in chains – and I am getting benched, moved to reserve, put into the closet, reduced to backup, shifted to the back row, barred from piloting, relegated to an extra, put on a shelf, suspended in active duty, and stuffed into a coffer to be sent to the attic. Does this explain my mood?”

“But… why?” he blinked in shock.

“Vatican Treaty and your asshole dad, in short”, she growled. “To be more precise, for Unit-03 to arrive, they need to disable one of the active Evas… and Commander Asshole decided it should be mine”, she explained. “Not Unit-01 – okay, I get it, it’s a good one with a good pilot, and shut up, you’re not half bad, and not Unit-00 even if it is the one that is kind of shitty and wonky – and has a barely responsive pilot. Well, at least one that doesn’t talk back, that’s an advantage, I guess”, she shrugged. “They want to do it before Friday, Misato will tell me tomorrow when exactly. I told her I wanted to be there.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” he asked automatically.

“And witness me cry over the unjust fate that befell my beloved steed?” Asuka asked, her voice both irritated and amused.

“You don’t cry in public, I know that, and you know that I know that”, Shinji retorted. “I was thinking more about ‘silent emotional support’ or something similar. If you wish me to, of course”, he added cautiously.

Asuka pondered for a moment. “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind you being there”, she finally declared. “Just… keep the conspiracy, and all that.”

“Don’t worry about that”, he smiled reassuringly.

She nodded in acknowledgment before continuing. “Regarding Misato… I didn’t learn much”, she reported with dismay. “‘Need to know’ and all that bullshit. But at least I made her promise to tell me once she knows and is allowed to, so I’ll be digging deeper later”, she finished.

“Assuming Misato is honest about that, that’s about as good a result as we could get now, right?” Shinji offered.

“I think she is. I almost feel bad about keeping this”, she looked around, “a secret.”

Shinji smiled sadly. “We don’t exactly have a choice, right? She **could** accept us being together, I think. But… the rest… definitely not.”

“Definitely not”, Asuka agreed. “I was thinking about telling her… but no good plan came to mind. Well, none that would not make her question our sanity.”

“We’ll think about that later”, Shinji decided. “And about ‘the rest’…” he paused with a small smile. “I think your bottom might be good enough soon. I know the mood might not be right… but if we find some good evening, I’m willing to… assist you again.”

The redhead smiled a toothy smile. “I thought you’d never suggest that”, her voice was huskier than a few seconds before. “Aren’t you tempted to just grab me at some random point when I would not expect it and administer the punishment, though?” she grinned. “After all the things I have pulled off?”

“That’d be possible if our guardian did not require some… marinating, as you call it, before we can do anything louder”, Shinji chuckled. “But it is… tempting.”

Asuka’s smile turned playful; Shinji realized that ‘mean’ would fit it as well.

“I **might** have a fun idea… if you’re game”, she stated, her voice sounding like a schoolgirl planning to play a great prank on a disliked teacher.

“Depends on what kind of ‘fun’ we’re talking about”, Shinji replied, his voice betraying interest. “Can you elaborate?”

“I had a chance to take a look at a certain schedule…”

***

Shinji was doing his best to suppress a helpless giggle. “Okay. I… I think it’s kind of risky”, he stated once he managed, “but if you think it’s safe, I’ll trust your judgment.”

“It’s perfectly safe. Well, barring the unpredictable, a police raid or a meteorite strike would break the plan, obviously – but that aside… I got the details figured out, and remember my reputation is at stake, too. So… are you game?” she grinned, her eyes carrying a predatory gleam.

“I’m likely going to get a few gray hairs from that… but yes”, he agreed.

“Great”, she grinned. “I’ll put it into motion first thing in the morning. I just hope I won’t be in too foul of a mood when the time comes”, her smile vanished.

“Asuka…” Shinji took a deep breath. “Do you want me to…” he paused, his voice uncertain, “to make you? Even against your mood? It’s a bit different than, you know–”

“Making me kneel when I’m already in the mood? Yeah, it is”, she agreed and gave it a moment of thought. “You know? I’ll bite. I mean, yes. Do it”, she paused again. “I’ll just speak the word if it’s too foul or too wrong.”

Shinji took a few deep breaths. “Those waters start to get a bit deep”, he spoke in a worried voice.

“We can swim”, Asuka snuggled closer. “And I trust you.”

He smiled and embraced her without further words. None were needed.

***

_Tuesday lunch break_

“Here, Asuka”, Shinji handed Asuka her bento box as she approached the three boys.

“Thanks”, she took the box from his hand and dropped on an empty chair next to him. “Mm, sausages. There’s hope for you after all.”

Touji and Kensuke eyed her, their heated discussion disrupted by her intrusion.

“What?” she eyed them back. “Is there something on my face?” she asked in an annoyed tone before putting an octopus-cut sausage in her mouth. _‘Mm, he put some mustard on the tentacles… I’m going to kiss him **hard** once we’re home’,_ she grinned internally.

“What are you doing here?” Touji’s grating voice disrupted the moment of joy.

“Eating”, she retorted in an increasingly annoyed tone as she started chewing. “Got a problem with that, gorilla?”

“Why here?” he insisted.

“Because”, she swallowed. “And if you really need a reason, focus and try to process that: my desk is in the direct sunlight, and not everyone enjoys having the level of tan you’re maintaining”, she explained, with just trace amounts of mockery. “And don’t mind me! Keep talking, I’m not listening to your prattle about warships, sport, boobs, and bottoms anyway”, she shrugged and put a piece of fried onion in her mouth. “Unless you were talking about me, then you can–”

A ring of her phone interrupted her tirade. The moment she noticed the name on the display, her expression dropped; she picked up the call as she left the classroom.

Touji looked at Shinji and immediately noticed his tense expression. “Hey, Shin-man, you know something, right?” he asked, his brows furrowed.

Shinji took a deep breath. “Okay, listen. I’m the last person to tell you what to do, but if you value your life, or at least the integrity of your body, don’t push her any further once she’s back”, he replied in a surprisingly grave voice. “Until now, that was friendly banter from her”, he explained, seeing Touji’s quizzing expression. “When she’s back, she’s going to be looking for a target for murder. And you are, currently, near the top of the list.”

The boy shrugged. “As if I cared–” he interrupted as he caught Shinji’s steely glare.

“Then do it for me, okay?” Shinji suddenly requested, his voice lowering both in tone and volume. “I have to live with her under one roof, and I don’t want her worse than she already is.”

Touji’s brow furrowed even further; Kensuke was looking at Shinji with confusion.

“Sure, man. I can do that for you”, Touji finally shrugged, still confused by a rather unusual behavior of his friend. “I suppose you know her better.”

“Thank you”, Shinji whispered with relief and returned to his bento.

Not long after the classroom door opened and Asuka returned. She went back to her spot and looked at the bento with an expressionless face.

“Asuka?” Shinji tried.

“Tomorrow” was the only reply.

“I see”, he nodded. “Please, eat. It’s not very good when it goes stale”, he added.

She turned her head to look at him, clearly ready to throw a stinging retort. But bringing herself to throw anything at this warm, caring smile has proven impossible. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. “Right”, she shook her head and returned to her food.

Touji and Kensuke just exchanged confused glances. The world just stopped making any sense to them.

***

_Tuesday evening_

“Come, Asuka”, Shinji whispered with a smile and extended his arms. “I can’t promise it will help with everything, but for your current mood, I suggest a hefty dose of hugs.”

The redhead shook her head and put the hairbrush down. “I suppose you’re right, ‘doctor’”, she smiled a small smile. “I don’t think I’ll be cured by that, but it definitely has a high chance of reducing symptoms.”

“The only cure would be, most likely, wrecking Unit-03”, Shinji commented with a small smile. “Considering the recent battles, this will happen sooner or later”, he added.

“Yeah”, Asuka chuckled. “I even made some crass jokes about that to Misato. I think she doesn’t like this mess any more than I do. Forget it”, she waved her hand. “I’m going to abuse you for the hugs and all that today, and tomorrow, we can pick up the movies to distract me after… well. The entombment.”

“I thought you wanted to pick them up on Monday?” Shinji queried carefully.

“Yes”, Asuka sighed. “But I had the option to go home with Misato then, and declining that would mean less time around you”, she smiled a small smile. “And yesterday… well, I got distracted, you got distracted, I was tired from trying not to punch the gorilla, and one thing led to another… so tonight”, she grinned, “it’s all on your head.”

“I’d rather think of it like ‘you’re all mine tonight’”, he smiled in reply. “It’s not that you’re a burden, right?”

Asuka felt a sudden wave of heat creeping up her chest and face. A breeze of conflicting thoughts ran through her head, sent directly from Vicious Overthinking Engine’s storage. Before she could react, the less-than-optimal answer was chosen, processed, and sent.

“Are you saying that just to make me feel better?” she asked with a sharp turn towards surprised Shinji. “Are you just making sure I’m a pliable, non-problematic… doll in bed?”

Shinji closed his eyes and his lips became a thin line. Asuka’s ears turned incandescent red. _‘Fuck. Wonderful, just wonderful. I relaxed too much, and this is the result. Fuck me.’_

She focused her attention on the boy. _‘He’s well in the right to beat the shit out of me right now. But he’ll not. He’ll just withdraw, expose those hedgehog needles – and la Commedia è finita! Everything I had done, everything he had done, it’s all in vain. And this is only because I could not–”_

“Asuka, come to me”, his command interrupted her train of thought, his eyes still closed, his hands extended. “Please”, he added; the soft plead sounded eerie in _that_ voice.

_‘It’s a trick. He’s trying to play you, he’ll make you stop thinking–’_ part of her mind tried.

_‘**Silence.** You did enough already’,_ she hissed at the voice. ‘_Just shut the fuck up.’_

_‘But–’_

_‘He won’t hurt me’_, Asuka stated with absolute certainty. _‘Not unless I deserve it or ask for it’_, she added as she took a step towards him, brushing her hip against his extended arm.

He smiled and embraced her with a relieved sigh.

_‘I told youuuu!’_ another voice chimed in.

_‘This won’t last’_, was the only reply, sour in its tone.

_‘Yes, but only this moment, and for a different reason’_, the cheerful voice retorted with extreme amusement. Asuka understood the problem that was mentioned in her head about two seconds later; Shinji realized it in the same moment, as indicated by his rapidly reddening face.

The problem was, in essence, trivial and perfectly predictable: the positioning of the bed and their respective heights caused Shinji to embrace Asuka perfectly at her hip level – which would not be a problem by itself – if it did not also mean that his face was pressed against her pubic mound – with only two layers of flimsy fabric separating them.

Asuka’s combat reflexes triggered immediately: her hands descended upon his shoulders, preventing any sudden movements; at the same time she moved away as much as his embrace allowed. Half a second later, she was descending, removing the immediate cause for the situation. The moment her face was at the same level as his, she concluded the threat was – at least for the moment – over.

“That was–” she started.

“S-sorry!” Shinji interrupted her with his own attempt in a panicked whisper. “I didn’t think this through–”

His words were interrupted in turn by a sudden kiss; one of Asuka’s hands moved to his neck and pulled him close within an eyeblink. Surprised as he might have been, he returned it almost immediately. _‘I should remember that for emergencies: kissing is a very efficient interrupt_’, Asuka noted with amusement. _‘I must be careful not to use it in public by accident, though.’_

“You didn’t, yes”, the redhead agreed as she broke the kiss. “And I had to save you from a stroke”, she chuckled. “I suppose that… well, makes it even.”

“Even?” he glared at her with confused eyes, his face still red.

“Never mind”, she shook her head. _‘There are limits to what I’m willing to admit. Appreciate that’_, she addressed the now-silent thoughts. A fleeting sense of satisfaction was the only reply. “Now, where were we… ah yes. You were about to make me all yours”, Asuka smiled a wide smile.

“Well, aren’t you, already?” Shinji’s smile was a bit crooked. “Or am I secretly sharing you with someone?”

Two separate ideas appeared in her mind: one indignant, the other humorous. Having freshly emerged from a dangerous skirmish and seeing his smile, she had no trouble shooting the wrong one down.

“Well, you have to remember that Unit-02 always has a place in my heart”, she retorted, realizing too late what emotions returning to her beloved Evangelion would carry.

Seeing her expression drop, Shinji, pulled her closer, carefully pulling her head to rest on his shoulder. “I was serious about that hefty dose of hugs, Asuka”, he whispered in her ear. “Are you willing to undergo the therapy?”

The redhead nodded, her expression solemn. “Shinji… will you do something for me?” she asked in a whisper.

“You know that the answer is likely ‘anything’?” he replied with a smile clear in his voice.

She suppressed a sob that would shake her body. _‘Right. This is about not fucking it up, right? Let’s see how well it works…’_ she decided.

“Okay. Would you…” she paused with a rare uncertainty in her voice, “would order me not to speak? To be silent until the morning?” she requested. “Well, perhaps except directly replying to you?”

Shinji slowly pulled from their hug and faced her; his eyes were confused. “Why?”

Asuka took a deep breath. “Because if you don’t I may say something stupid again. And I had enough battles for today”, she explained. “And it’s not ‘fishing for more punishment’ if this is what you’re worried about. I’m already wondering how my next spanking will feel like”, she added with an uneasy smile.

“I suggested an installment plan and I still think it’s a good idea”, Shinji replied. “But that’s something for later”, he declared. “All right. If you’re sure…” he trailed off. Asuka took a deep breath and nodded carefully. “All right then”, he agreed, a hint of unease in his voice. “Asuka”, he started, his voice gaining the _familiar_ tone, “you are not to speak until tomorrow morning, unless the reply is clearly expected of you. Failing to do so will be punished by adding five strokes to your count. Do you understand?”

Asuka took another deep breath, focusing on a shiver that ran down her spine. “I do.”

“Will you obey?” he asked, his voice unchanged.

“I will”, she confirmed. “Thank you”, she added in a whisper.

Shinji’s solemn face gained a wry smile. “That was not an expected addition… but I suppose a single mistake is forgivable. But anything else… that’s a five”, the smile widened.

Asuka closed her eyes, her head spinning. _‘Okay. This is… odd. Weird. Eerie. But… fuck, why don’t I hate it? Well, I guess for the same reason I enjoy being beaten – I’m a pervert. But why don’t I hate that, I–’_

Her pondering was interrupted by Shinji speaking up again. “If there is nothing else to your evening rituals, you may rise… and come to bed”, he patted the mattress.

Asuka opened her mouth – but a quick look coming from Shinji stopped her. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and rose from her knees. It took her only a few moments to finish her usual routine: checking the school bag, ensuring the uniform for tomorrow was fine, and making sure all her hair accessories were where they were supposed to be. After that, she turned her attention to the boy who was patiently waiting on her bed.

***

Shinji, freshly from a rollercoaster of emotions and chaos, was tracing his girlfriend’s movements around the room. This was not something entirely new to him – this was, after all, not his first night here – but watching Asuka never got old. _‘I really hope I never get tired of her… or bored. On second thought, I don’t think it’s possible’_, he realized. _‘Not with her fire. She’s like a star, always moving, always pulsating with life’_, he smiled, having found a neat compliment to use – before finding an issue with it. _‘Nope. No. Not if I don’t want to die. If I remember correctly, the only red starts are the giants… or was it the dwarfs?’_ his brows furrowed as his thoughts wandered off while his eyes still tracked the slender but indisputably muscular legs of his favorite redhead.

As the girl in question finally dropped on the bed, he eagerly settled next to her, embracing her and settling into a spooning position they were both so fond of.

“Asuka… a question”, Shinji’s query sounded in the darkness when the usual rubbing-and-clinging-to came to an end. “And you may speak openly on the subject. Which stars are red? The giants of the dwarfs?”

“What?” came a reply in a bemused tone. “Both, have you not been listening in class?” Asuka’s tone was almost scolding. “Red giants are usually the end-of-life variety, red dwarfs are just small, dim stars. There are also red supergiants, like Betelgeuse, but that’s a separate thing.”

“Bee-tle… what?”

“It’s one of the brighter stars. I can show it to you in the night sky if we ever had time to get away from the city”, Asuka offered. “If I remember correctly, it should be visible here most of the year… but not with all the annoying lights of this city. Why?”

“I… I’ll explain later”, he promised, his voice carrying a hint of embarrassment. “Thank you, Asuka. And… goodnight.”

“I hold you to your word”, she replied with a smirk. “Goodnight”, she added in a warm voice.

_‘It’s been a while since I walked under a sky full of stars…’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed, I settled into a routine of weekly updates. I cannot promise it will last until the very end - specifically, I'm not sure I'll be able to do it next week, as I am piloting (putting a few test chapters of, that means) a new NGE story then - but I will strive to maintain it.
> 
> Until next time, whenever it is going to be!


	19. Chapter 19

_Wednesday morning_

“Hey, Shin-man”, Touji poked Shinji the moment he sat in his seat. “What’s the deal between you and the Red Devil?”

“The deal?” Shinji asked, his voice confused. “We live under one roof because of Misato, and I make her bento along with mine…”

“Exactly!” Touji hissed, throwing Asuka a side-glance. “You cook for her! Does it mean there’s something between you?”

“I cook for Ayanami, too, you know”, Shinji eyed him while dodging the question. “Is this some roundabout way to get me to cook for you?” he asked with his eyebrow raised.

Shinji has expected many reactions from his friend, but red ears and vicious hand-waving was not one of them. “No, perish the thought!” he denied vehemently. “I mean, I’m sure it’s good, just… wrong?”

Shinji shook his head. “I don’t see how. But – suit yourself”, he shrugged.

Touji shuddered before regaining his composure. “Hey, we’re going to the arcade today, want to join?”

Shinji shook his head again. “Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got NERV business just after school, and I don’t know how long it will take”, he explained, mentally checking whether everything he said was true. With satisfaction, he noted that the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver has worked for him again. _‘I must be careful not to use it on Asuka, thought’_, he realized. _‘That would __be simply __wrong.’_

Touji’s expression turned into a scowl, but before he could say anything, the familiar voice of Hikari I’m Not A Drill Sergeant! Horaki sounded, announcing that their always-late elderly teacher has finally arrived.

***

_Wednesday afternoon_

“EVA Unit-02’s core unit separation complete”, the announcement sounded in the large hall.

Asuka Langley Shikinami was tracing her Evangelion as it was lowered into the pit, Eva-sized shackles on her hands and legs. Shinji Ikari was standing a step behind her, sharing his attention between Asuka, Unit-02, and the two other people in the room: Doctor Akagi and Lieutenant Ibuki.

“Tell me again, Doctor”, Asuka started in a bitter voice. “Why is it **my** unit being sealed, even if Unit-00 is less technologically advanced, not to mention beaten up… and Unit-01 has the shortest temper of them all?” she asked, turning away from the entombment process to face the blonde scientist.

“It’s the Commander’s decision”, Doctor Akagi explained with a sigh.

“Also”, Lieutenant Ibuki chimed in. “Unit-02 is technically still on a loan, so if we sealed any other and Unit-02 was to be recalled… well, we’d be left with only two Evangelions.”

“Great”, Asuka shrugged. “Beaten by politics. What about me?”

“You’re being suspended”, the doctor continued. “Please behave yourself until we receive further notice from Europe.”

“Don’t worry”, Asuka grumbled. “When was the last time I didn’t behave myself properly?”

Doctor Akagi raised her eyebrows, uncertain how to treat the statement; Lieutenant Ibuki turned away hastily, pretending to make some notes. Behind Asuka, Shinji’s lips turned into a thin line in an attempt not to laugh.

“See? I’m an epitome of the prim and proper lady”, Asuka put her hands on her hips. “Now, is there something else, or can I go home and grieve in peace?”

“You’re dismissed. Both of you”, Doctor Akagi confirmed.

_***_

“Asuka…” Shinji started as they finally were alone in the elevator.

“Yes?” her voice was a mix of anger and annoyance – but for some reason, Shinji did not feel threatened by it.

“Was this intended to be a joke?” he probed carefully.

“What? The comment about behavior?” she grumbled. “I don’t know, was it funny?”

“I certainly had to control myself. You had a great poker face”, he admitted.

“Well”, Asuka chuckled. “Then it did some good. Damn, I hate this labyrinth…” her tone returned to a grumble when they emerged from the elevator and headed towards another shaft.

“It’s not that you can get lost here, right? It’s quite well-labeled”, Shinji countered.

“Yeah, but still–” she paused as the door opened and she found herself face-to-face with a blue-haired girl.

“Oh, good afternoon, Ayanami”, Shinji greeted the girl.

“Good afternoon, Pilot Ikari. Pilot Shikinami”, Rei acknowledged.

“Ayanami”, Asuka replied as they entered the elevator, her annoyance more pronounced. The heavy door closed behind them.

***

Asuka was in an odd mood: down from freshly seeing her Evangelion sink into the epoxy, improved over time by the company she held, only to be soured again by an unexpected travel companion. Therefore, the whole mercilessly long elevator ride was a painful exercise in awkwardness for Shinji.

The fact that Rei was essentially ignoring them was a mixed blessing. It certainly added to the awkwardness, but it also reduced the risk of riling Asuka up any further.

Shinji was slowly getting over the awkwardness when the silence was broken.

“Eva is a mirror that reflects your heart”, Rei spoke in her usual monotone, her back still turned to them.

“What was that?” Asuka hissed and eyed the girl’s back.

“You shouldn’t rely on Eva”, the blue-haired girl continued. “There is happiness to be found outside of piloting them. And I am glad you found it.”

Asuka glared at Shinji; he shook his head in response. _‘_I told her nothing’, he mouthed.

“You didn’t have to”, Rei continued. “It’s easy to see”, she turned around to face them, her lips forming something that could be, with the use of a magnifying glass, be seen as a small smile. “I envy you.”

Two pairs of eyes glared at her in shock.

“I’m unable to bond to people without Eva”, she kept going in the same monotone. “But I try. Thank you.”

“Ayanami… why are you telling us that?” Shinji asked in confusion. “And why are you thanking us?”

“I see you, and I learn what is possible”, she explained.

“Are we what, lab rats to you?” Asuka’s eyes narrowed. “Or ants you watch to understand how we, lowly creatures, work?” she hissed.

Rei’s head tilted by a minuscule amount; Shinji’s expression soured. “Asuka”, he whispered. “She’s not our enemy.”

Asuka shot him a glare. “She’s the Commander’s pet. He loves her more than he loves his own son.”

“He does not love me, Shikinami. He loves what he can achieve through me”, Rei retorted, her voice unchanged. “I am just a tool for him, like anybody else. But I do not want to be just a tool. I want to make people happy”, she explained.

“Do you even know what happiness **is**?” Asuka asked, her voice wavering subtly.

“I am warm and content when I’m around you”, Rei glanced at Shinji. “And I want you to feel like this, too.”

Asuka narrowed her eyes further. “Right. And how you feel around me?”

Rei’s head-tilt switched to the other side while remaining barely perceivable. “I am happy you that are making Ikari-kun happy”, she replied. “You are rough. Harsh. Unpleasant. But you are changing.”

Asuka found no words; she just kept staring.

“I hope you both come to the dinner party. I intend to convince Commander Ikari to come as well”, she added. “I hope he will oblige.”

With those words, she turned around to face the elevator door again.

The other two occupants of the elevator were only able to look at each other in growing confusion.

***

_Later that day_

The last two hours have been a bit awkward; neither of them said a word since they left the elevator. The silence did not feel _bad_ to Shinji, but he clearly saw something was bothering Asuka; he was just glad that asking Asuka directly was not an impossibility it would be just a few months ago.

“Do you want to talk about today, Asuka?” he inquired as he set her food before her.

The morose redhead looked up at him, ignoring the plate in front of her. “What there’s to talk about? She’s in love with you.”

Shinji put his dinner down as he sat next to her. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”

“What are you, stupid?” Asuka glared at him, her voice regaining some fire. “‘I’m warm and content inside and I want you to be warm and content’, doesn’t this sound like ‘in love with you’?”

Shinji took a deep breath. “I… well, I gave her a bento and we talked about school for a while, like less than half an hour? It’s not something you fall in love with from, right?”

Asuka’s face contracted. “It can be”, she whispered, her voice focused. “Did it cross your mind that you’re the first person who ever treated her as, well, a human being?” she glared at him again. “What life do you think she had before?”

Shinji’s expression turned ponderous. “Father… from what I know, he spends s_ome _time with her, he take her to a restaurant from time to time, talks to her when she’s at NERV”, he listed.

“Yeah, like you’d take care of a subordinate, or a kid in your foster care”, Asuka hissed, her voice livelier with every word. “She’s been raised by your father, Akagi, and perhaps the lab equipment. I’m willing to bet that the equipment was the best parent. And then **you** appear, smile at her, give her a scrap of attention, a kind word, you _feed_ her”, the redhead’s voice reached her usual angry register. “You feed a stray cat, and now you don’t think she _likes_ you?!” she exclaimed – and stopped the moment she looked at his face. For the first time, it expressed genuine _anger_.

“If you’re right, then it means Father treated her even worse than I thought”, he stated, his voice calm despite carrying a threatening undertone. “Listen, Asuka”, his voice _shifted_ for a moment. “I… even if this is true, even if she… feels like… that towards me, I don’t. I mean… I’m yours, right?” he allowed himself a short, small smile. “I think she knows that. She spoke as if… as if she knew what’s between us”, he raised his hand, seeing Asuka open her mouth. “I don’t know **how**, or if we even **understood** her right – but I think she **knows**. At least – she knows **something**. But she didn’t tell anyone, or we’d have Misato with her sidearm bursting through the door and searching our rooms for the instruments of crime”, he added with a soft chuckle.

Asuka looked aside and let out an angry sigh. “Perhaps you’re right”, she murmured. “I mean, I believe you on your… well. I mean…” she paused. “Okay, let’s start again”, she shook her head, her voice firmer. “I won’t try to kill you over what Ayanami said, that would be tremendously stupid”, she declared. “I just have no idea what to do with her.”

“Well, we can start with going to her party with something cooked, too, right?” Shinji suggested.

Asuka’s expression clearly stated that she’d rather spend that time trying to chew through the epoxy mass to reach her Evangelion. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Asuka?” he probed.

“I’ll think about it”, she repeated. “You might get to command me at times”, she smirked. “But this is not such a time.”

“As you wish”, he smiled at her. “Enjoy your meal”, he added before turning his attention to his own plate.

_***_

“I’m home!” a voice announced from the door.

“Welcome home, Misato!” Shinji called out and peeked out of the kitchen. “Are you feeling better?” he inquired, seeing their guardian clearly less exhausted than she was even yesterday.

“A bit”, she admitted as she took her jacket off. “But it’s still a long road, I’m afraid. I’m working long tomorrow. By the way, is Asuka home? I don’t see her shoes…”

“Ah, yes”, Shinji chuckled. “She ‘went out hunting’, she said something about ‘Norns conspiring against her need for entertainment’ and ‘going to war with…’” he paused. “I’m not sure how to even pronounce that name, it was one of the goddesses. She said she’d be back before seven.”

“Oh well, if she sticks to the normal parts of the city, she should be safe”, Misato shrugged. “And if she enters a worse part, there’s always Section 2 to the rescue. No to mention, she can handle a thug on her own”, she added. “How much time do I have before feeding time?” she changed the subject.

“I can have it ready in five minutes, it’s just re-heating”, he replied. “I’m just here doing tomorrow’s bento.”

“Oh. Right. It’s me who is late. Thank you, I’ll be there in ten”, she smiled.

“Take your time!”

***

“I’m home!” an annoyed exclamation filled the room. “And take a fucking guess, Shinji, what the fuck has happened”, Asuka yelled out the moment she entered the apartment.

“You just got yourself a five?” he asked, emerging from the kitchen with a smile.

“No, but – oh you **bastard**”, she hissed. “Fuck you, but I’ll take that”, she consented with a grin on her face.

“I’m glad”, he replied, “but carefully, please”, his eyes shot towards the bathroom; she acknowledged his message with a nod. “I assume your hunt did not go… well?”

“Someone rented the whole fucking set. Today”, she huffed. “Return date is on Friday, and the lady said this customer returns on time. I placed a reservation, so we’re bound to pick it up then.”

“Wasn’t Friday–” he started in a whisper.

“Yes, it was”, she replied in the same low volume. “Don’t worry, that’s taken care of. We’d have to pick it up before closing, and that’s nine in the evening. And that leaves us with at least two-hour window, even if we’re slow on our… duties” she smirked. “Just make enough food tomorrow so Misato’s not left wanting.”

“Don’t worry about that part”, he smiled. “Now”, he started in a louder volume. “We have homework to do.”

“Ugh. And I was just starting to get less murderous…”

***

_Later that evening_

“Misato?” Asuka asked in a whisper from her doorframe as Shinji passed her on the way to his room.

“Asleep. Four beers and still exhausted, no matter how she denies it”, he replied. “Why?”

“Because I feel the need to dance nude can-can across the apartment”, the redhead rolled her eyes. “And don’t get any images from that–”

“Too late”, he shot her a glare.

Asuka stifled a giggle. “Okay, that’s my fault, I guess. Never mind. Come to bed”, she demanded.

“As you wish”, he bowed lightly. “I’ll be there in three minutes.”

***

_About twenty minutes later_

“What was this ‘other scenario’ you wanted to suggest if you didn’t like my idea? At the time when we tried the over-the-knee for the first time?” Shinji suddenly asked, his voice curious.

Asuka wiggled her eyebrows and put down the hairbrush. “I’ll show you”, she jumped from the stool, opened the drawer, and started rummaging around it. “I wanted you to give me a punishment…” she fished something out, “on the bottom of my feet…” she turned around quickly, “with this”, she presented the implement in her extended hands. Shinji leaned forward to take a better look.

It was a riding crop, made of hardened leather, about a meter long and about a centimeter thick. He shivered. “I… well, I surely would have second thoughts, but I guess since I promised…” he eyed the implement carefully, imagining the pain it would have to cause.

“Want to test it?” the redhead’s eyes gained a mischievous gleam. “To take five off my count?” her voice was husky.

“Asuka… wouldn’t it hurt **horribly**?” he asked, his voice uncertain.

She looked at him with a disbelieving glare. “That’s the **point**, idiot”, she stated matter-of-factly. “And they’re unsafe to use too much, that’s why I’m suggesting just a five, _maybe_ a ten. Even I am not ambitious enough to take a full sixty-five… or seventy, to account for the small outburst today. Not with that monster”, she shivered at the thought. “So… how is it? They’re also rather silent, assuming the sub…ject is gagged.”

“Five with the crop it is”, he nodded, pretending not to have noticed the slip.

Asuka’s eyes lit up again. “Thank you”, she almost purred. Her whole body expressed the anticipation: her eyes closed, her smile turned dreamy, and she stretched in a slow, sensual move. Shinji closed his eyes, but it was too late – his body had already expressed its opinion about that sight.

‘_Well… it’s perfectly normal, right?’_ he stated to himself. _‘And I’m no longer threatened by death for that, either. Let’s see how this goes…’_

***

The position Asuka found herself in after a moment of setup was a little bit embarrassing – she was lying on her back, her legs up, her arms locked beneath her knees – and locking the legs in the half-bent position. It was quite exposing, despite her still wearing her panties; of course, the panties were already kind of wet. But it was also one of the best positions to receive what she was about to get – and she did not mind being exposed. The confusion this realization brought was shelved for later consideration. Now, she was about to experience – and perhaps even enjoy – a new sensation.

“Ready?” came a voice from above.

She nodded, making an indistinct grunt through the gag as the crop softly touched her soles.

“Keep your feet together and don’t move them”, he requested, his voice calm. “I don’t want to strike any bone.”

Asuka took a breath and nodded. _‘Fuck. This is going to hurt badly, and I already __**can’t wait**__. I’m really fucked in the __**heAD!**__’_

Her thought process ceased, replaced with a searing sensation that started in her feet. It took her a few seconds to realize she was kicking the air; she forced herself to stop.

“Okay, I see I need to go slower here than with your bottom”, he noted. “I’ll give you ample time to kick, and only when you calm down and put them together again, I’ll give you the next one”, came the calm voice from above. “Remember, you can tap out any time”, he added.

She shook her head. _‘I’d lose all respect to myself if I tapped out after one of those’,_ she decided as the crop rested on her soles again, ready for the next swing.

A howl sounded in her mind, tried to get out through the gag, and resulted in a thought: _‘But __**maybe**__ after a three or four… __that __would not be __**that**__ shameful’_, she realized as the second wave of pain burned through her nerves.

Third and fourth strikes came and went; Asuka steeled herself while at the same time a free part of her mind wondered how would she be walking tomorrow – and how would it feel to have both her bottom and her soles hurting, making both sitting and standing uncomfortable.

For some reason, that last vision, coupled with a picture of Shinji smiling his a-tad-mean-a-smile at her discomfort gave her the familiar, not entirely unwelcome tingling in her nether parts. _‘Okay. That’s settled. I’m fucked in the head and I enjoy suffering. Fine! I admit i__tttt__TT__**T**__–’_

The fifth blow that broke her train of thoughts was not really stronger than the previous four. It was weaker, in fact: Shinji, unsure whether hitting the same spot would not be dangerous, eased on the strength. But for Asuka, it was the coup de grace. As much as she was able to contain the kicking reaction during the ‘middle’ blows, now she flailed her legs in a futile attempt to stop the pain.

“That’s five, Asuka. You’re down to sixty-five now… and you may sit up and remove the gag”, words of relief came from above.

It took her a while to find enough strength and focus to follow the instructions.

***

To Asuka’s surprise, there were few tears on her face – but she felt a strong and undeniable urge to simply be **held**. Of course, the moment she extended her hand, she felt herself lifted to a sitting position and readily embraced. Thus she clung to the boy who just hurt her, steading her breath and occasionally rubbing the sole of one foot with the top of the other.

“Let’s make a deal”, she finally broke the long silence, her voice hoarse. “Let’s keep this one for the times you’re **really** pissed with me, shall we?”

“Are you sure?” Shinji checked. “You… didn’t exactly enjoy that.”

She tilted her head, moving a bit away from the hug. “Okay, either you’re really dumb, or you’re toying with me”, she paused, scanning his face; lack of understanding was the only response. “No matter how much I enjoy some aspects of this”, she paused and snuggled closer to him, “this is still a **punishment**. I’m not supposed to **like** it. I like _some_ aspects of it, I enjoy…” she paused again, unsure what to say. Shinji was waiting patiently for her to finish. “I like how you make me feel as a result”, she tried. “I… it’s difficult to explain it without drawing you a huge diagram and contradicting myself five times over the course of the explanation”, she continued. “And I’m not exactly in the mood to delve into the depths of my psyche. And I… I don’t get it myself, entirely. And I’m never going to trust a therapist with it, even if by some miracle we ever get to talk to one. So, I guess–”

“Asuka”, he interrupted her. “‘I like how you make me feel as a result’ is enough. I don’t say I get it myself, but… I really, really just want to make you happy. And…” he paused as a blush crept up his face. “I like to see you afterward. Every time.”

“Even when I’m a total mess?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Especially when you’re a total mess”, he admitted with a sly smile. “Those are the moments when you look… wonderful.”

Asuka took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll say it out loud: we’re both perverts”, she shook her head. “I guess it’s a good match, then”, she grinned.

“I could wish for no better”, he smiled back.

“It’s getting too sweet”, she looked to the side. “I mean, I like it, but it’s just so sweet that my pancreas is working overtime, and I don’t have a lemon at hand. Damn it”, she grumbled – but not without a note of amusement.

Without a warning or a word, Shinji disentangled himself from the hug with an inscrutable expression and reached underneath the bed. A few seconds later, stupefied Asuka was looking at a duct-tape-wrapped lemon in his hand. “Ah, but I do.”

Collapsing into a bout of helpless, stifled laughter felt like the only possible reaction.

***

_Thursday morning_

“Why do I get the feeling you will be the death of me, Shinji?” Asuka grumbled as they left the apartment, leaving their scrambling-after-oversleeping guardian behind. “I’d be the first person in history to choke on something that did **not** go into her mouth.”

“Well, you asked… sort of”, Shinji chuckled. “And I was prepared. I like to be prepared”, he explained.

“What else do you have taped under my bed?” she asked, her voice suddenly curious.

“Well”, his face gained a soft blush, “why don’t you check for yourself?” he smiled.

“Now I’ll be wondering…” she narrowed her eyes, a small, sulky smile on her lips. “Aren’t you worried that Misato finds something compromising?” she asked.

“First of all, it’s your bed, so any suspicion would fall on you”, he smiled a crooked smile, eliciting an indignant look from her. “Second, why would Misato bother to look under your bed? I’m the only person that ever cleans there, anyway.”

“Fair point”, she admitted. “Still, I’ll be wondering a whole day now.”

“Nothing dangerous, that I can promise you”, he raised his hand solemnly. “Especially that, well…” he paused.

“Yes?” she probed.

“That I spend nearly every night there?” he stated, matter-of-factly.

“Is that a complaint?” she raised her eyebrow.

“By no means”, he denied in a firm voice. “It has many advantages, first and foremost – you”, his smile turned warm.

“Sweet-talker”, she scoffed softly.

“Is that a complaint?” he raised his eyebrow.

“What are you, stupid?” she grinned. “Don’t you ever stop.”

“As you wish”, his smile widened as his hand brushed against hers.

A jolt of electricity shot up her hand, making her feel hotter than the day would warrant. _‘One mad-in-love teenager, coming right up’_, an entirely unhelpful voice in her head commented.

She could not tell whether Shinji noticed her full-blown blush – but she certainly was extremely self-aware of it.

***

“Good morning, Shikinami-san”, Hikari Politeness Is Important Horaki greeted Asuka as the redhead entered the classroom. “Tanaka-san agreed to switch, so you’re in for tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Horaki-san”, Asuka replied, her tone unusually polite for this hour. “I knew I could count on you.”

“I’m just the messenger”, Hikari And Modesty Is A Useful Façade Horaki retorted.

Asuka smiled in response and settled in her seat. _‘Finally, good news. I hope he’s as wired for this as I am’_, she grinned internally.

***

“Hey, Third”, Asuka approached Shinji as she always did on the lunch break. “Got anything for me?”

Shinji handed her a box with a smile. “Always”, he added.

She raised an eyebrow. “You won’t be that happy tomorrow”, she retorted with a mean smirk.

“Why?” he tilted his head. “I won’t miss your tomorrow’s bento if this is what you’re worried about.”

“Nah, not that. Sarge will tell you later, I suppose”, she grinned.

“Shikinami!” a high-pitched voice cut through the classroom noise.

“Jawohl?” Asuka spun around.

“First, don’t call me that”, Hikari I Resent That Term Horaki demanded. “Second, **you** may just tell him.”

“Okay, okay, Horaki-san”, the redhead shrugged, her face annoyed. “You’ve got cleaning duty tomorrow.”

“I know”, Shinji looked at her with confusion, the corner of his lips twitching only minimally. “Horaki-san told me last Friday?”

“Yeah. But she didn’t tell you it was with me, right?” Asuka grinned a mean grin. “You have a whole day to mentally prepare yourself for that honor”, her grin widened.

Shinji tried his best to show a fearful face; his efforts were only partially successful; his twitching lips were a dead giveaway for anyone who knew him. Fortunately for him, everyone observing him took it as a mark of worry. Some even offered sympathetic glances.

“I… I will”, he nodded.

***

_Thursday evening_

“Asuka… got a moment to talk?” Shinji queries as they lied in Asuka’s bed, enjoying each other’s warmth.

“No way, I need my beauty sleep!” she denied vehemently. “Of course I do”, she added after a pause, “what’s the question? Or did you want to merely praise my beauty? You can do this without asking, you know.”

“This asking, it’s called ‘being polite’, you know”, Shinji chuckled, sliding over Asuka’s suggestions. “A concept you seem to grasp very well at times and ignore most of the time.”

The redhead rolled her eyes. “Japanese people are overdoing it on politeness, if you ask me.”

“At times, yes, we do”, he agreed. “But I’m quite sure there is a good middle ground between my attitude… and yours”, he smiled a wry smile.

“Possibly”, she shrugged. “I’m no sociologist. So, what’s bothering you?”

“Tomorrow”, he admitted reluctantly. “I mean…”

“Are you getting cold feet?” Asuka raised her eyebrows. “Well, I don’t blame you, for someone like you, it’s quite a breach of rules. Good performance in class, by the way. I don’t think anyone noticed anything odd.”

“Thank you”, he smiled. “It’s not difficult to appear cowed when facing your attitude.”

“You manage to resist it here quite well”, she smiled back.

“That’s… different. Here… it’s right”, he explained.

Asuka rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand this web of intricacies”, she admitted. “Not that I have to, I just have to know how you tick. Anyway”, she shrugged, “I, on my part, am looking forward to tomorrow with all my heart. Don’t you?”

Shinji took a deep breath. “I… don’t know. On one hand, I like the idea, it’s something new. On the other… it just feels horribly… wrong. You’re right, it’s breaking way too many rules for my comfort”, he admitted sheepishly.

The redhead’s smile suddenly turned warm. “Okay, that I can understand”, she replied to his surprise. “Do you…” she took a deep breath, “do you want to cancel? I mean, we still do what we’re supposed to do, but without the… fun part”, she asked. _‘I guess I’m not __**that**__ good at hiding disappointment’_, she grumbled internally. _‘I’m not fooling him, am I?’_

“No”, he shook his head with certainty, surprising her in turn. “I… I just wanted to be honest with you. I would **never** try something like that on my own, wouldn’t even think of it. You… changed something in me”, he admitted.

Her smile turned into a smirk. “For better or worse?”

“Well… I don’t know, but if you’re the good girl”, his smile turned wider; Asuka shuddered softly. “Wouldn’t that make me the ‘bad boy’?” he pondered for a moment, his expression confused.

About five seconds later their gazes met  and they burst into subdued laughter.

“We can try to find you a leather jacket”, Asuka managed between bouts of laughter. “And some hair gel–”

Suddenly, they froze. Sounds of shuffling, accompanied  by grumbling about ‘Fuckin’ rowdy drunks’ came in the corridor, followed by the sound of  the  bathroom door opening and closing; the teenagers exchanged panicked glances.

A suka regained her composure first. “Go, stand in your doorway, ask if she is fine, pretend she woke you up. I’ll put out the lights. Come here in no less than ten minutes, when you’re sure she’s out”, she rattled out. Shinji nodded, jumped up from the bed, and left the room on his tiptoes.

‘_Fuck. Here goes the mood’_, Asuka sighed. _‘On the other hand, that was a fuck-up. We grew careless’_, she admitted to herself. _‘Safety protocols and increased marination, coming up.’_

***

_ T wenty minutes later _

“I thought you’d hide me under your bed”, Shinji whispered once they were safely nestled in Asuka’s bed.

“Empty room is more dangerous”, Asuka retorted. “What if she peeked into your room and saw you’re not there? Also, I hate clichés. You’re not some boy on a side or a gigolo”, she chuckled. “You’re my rightful and legitimate boyfriend”, she wiggled against him, enjoying his warmth and the pressure he was exerting on her bottom; the only thing missing was the tenderness of the skin that accompanied those sensations in the past. _‘Tomorrow’_, she grinned. _‘Tomorrow, you’ll get both, __you wanton__.’_

“Fair point”, Shinji’s voice – along with a tight squeeze – brought her back to reality. “I wonder, should I perhaps prepare a ‘fake Shinji’ in my bed?”

“Not a bad idea”, Asuka agreed. “A balloon and a few pillows should suffice, perhaps with a wig”, she suggested. “We can shop for that tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s getting busy”, he noted, a hint of worry in his voice.

“I wouldn’t mind being busy with you, you know?” she shrugged with a smile. “But that’s tomorrow. Today, I conclude you still need a map.”

“What?” his voice was bemused; she giggled in response, took his hand, and guided it towards her chest. An immediate increase in pressure against her bottom told her this was a good thing to do.

“It’s my body, but it’s your territory… darling”, she purred. “I **like** when you do that. And if you’re worried about…” she wiggled her bottom once more, eliciting a small moan – and a full-face blush – from Shinji. “Don’t. I’d show you how **I** feel about this right now, but explaining a stroke or a heart attack to Misato would not be fun”, she chuckled.

“What do you–oh”, Shinji realized, turning his hot blush into a truly incandescent one.

“I see you don’t need an explanation”, she grinned. “If you need a trip to the bathroom…”

“No…” he replied after a two-second consideration. “I think I’ll handle it in the morning”, he replied, clearly surprised by his own admission.

“And what will you be thinking of then?” she asked, her tone odd.

“Are you really expecting another answer than ‘you’?” a smile could be heard in his voice. “Asuka?” he asked, feeling her body shake.

“Don’t ask, okay?” she demanded. “Just hug me. I’ll… I’ll explain later. Okay?”

“Of course, dear”, he agreed, his embrace tightening.

‘_Great work, Shikinami. You already rubbed one against him and was about to do it again today, and all you do for him is asking him about fapping it out’_, the train of thoughts, supplied with power by the Vicious Overthinking Engine, was speeding up_. _‘_He won’t say a word, sure, __he’s too polite for that, maybe even unaware the needs he has, __but sooner or later, __sooner or later__ he __**wi**__**ll**__ start to wonder, __he will start __ask__ing__ questions, and then suddenly the doll will appear in the vicinity, purely by accident, of course, and blow him __straight to Heaven, swallow it all, make him understand this was what he was missing all the time__, __who knows, maybe even let him fuck her! A__nd you’ll never see him again, you’ll never have this again, and he’ll just laugh at you when you ask him to–’_

“Goodnight, Asuka”, he whispered softly, his hand squeezing her breast softly and sending a small jolt to her system.

‘_But it won’t be today’_, she admitted to herself, making use of the distraction the best she could. _‘Soon. I need to act on that soon.’_

Only with that thought  in  mind she allowed herself to murmur her goodnights and drift away.

***

_Friday morning_

“We’re leaving Misato!” Shinji announced. “Remember you have dinner in the fridge!”

“If you’re not going to stay out until eight or later, you’ll be first here anyway”, their guardian admitted. “Unit-03 arrives today, remember?”

“Ah. Right”, Shinji’s mood suddenly dropped. “Sorry to hear that. Good luck then”, he added.

“‘Break a desk’ or ‘bust a terminal’ would be more appropriate”, Misato smiled a wry smile. “Don’t worry about me though, that’s my job. See you in the evening, just make sure you leave me some food!”

“Don’t worry! Bye!” he waved and followed a somewhat annoyed Asuka.

***

“Asuka? Are you all right?” Shinji probed, realizing his companion was quieter than usual; she did not even complain about schoolkids on the bus.

“Mostly”, she shrugged. “I guess I just got randomly hit by the reality of my uselessness now”, she smiled a lop-sided smile. “It’ll pass”, she shrugged again. “I guess you’re a great distraction, I didn’t think about it until we parted in the morning”, the smiled straightened and warmed up a bit. “I hope you’ll do just as well today… and tonight.”

“I’ll do my best”, he smiled back. “And you’re not–”

“Spare me ‘cheer-up talk’, okay?” she cut him off. “I’ve had enough of that, and I really prefer you just… well, being you. I’m a big girl, I can handle that. Just… be there. Okay?”

“As you wish”, he smiled and slid his palm over hers.

“Good I have my own lemon now”, she murmured as she let his fingers intertwine with hers. The warmth of his hand was making her far too relaxed for her own comfort. “Sometimes I wonder if I don’t get diabetic from all that.”

S hinji remained silent;  he merely smiled .

Admitting that he carried one at all times had to wait for a better opportunity.

***

_F_ _riday afternoon_

“…and the buckets go here to dry. Questions?” Hikari I Do Not Trust People To Be Orderly Without Me Horaki finished her explanations.

“Horaki-san…” Shinji started, his voice pleading. “It’s not my first cleaning duty. We’ll manage just fine. And I promise we won’t break anything”, he tried to remain calm despite the butterflies relentlessly invading his stomach.

“I know I can rely on you, Ikari-kun”, the Class Rep replied, worry in her voice. “Just–”

“But you don’t know whether you can rely on me”, Asuka explained, her voice annoyed. “Don’t worry, Mr. Perfect will be looking over my shoulder at all times as I do the serious work of Wringing The Cloth”, the redhead did not even bother to hide the sarcasm in her tone. “We’ll be just dandy.”

“I’m sure you will be”, Hikari I Dislike This Tone But There Is No Polite Way To Rebuke You Horaki replied, her voice approaching Asuka’s in its tone. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Have a good afternoon, Class Rep!” Shinji waved as she left. Asuka rolled her eyes.

“Do you always have to be so **polite**?” she asked, her tone softened only a bit. “She’s just a big pain in the ass.”

“She’s doing her duty”, Shinji objected. “A bit too officiously, yes, but it just means she takes her role seriously. And that is reason enough to treat her seriously, too.”

“Maybe”, Asuka shrugged. “Okay, let’s get the stupid stuff out of the way, so we can get to the better part”, her expression of annoyance shifted into a small grin.

“Yes, ma’am!” his grin widened to match hers as he grabbed the bucket and started the known cleaning routine. Something was telling him this was going to be the fastest cleaning duty he ever performed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contrary to my worries, I managed to write sufficient content for this week update to make sense. I really hope this tempo will be enough to finish this story in 2020.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might expect from the ending of the previous part, this chapter is a bit of a lemon (in the general sense, I'm not using the expanded fruit scale). I doubt this comes as a surprise to anyone, but I believe walking into things with eyes wide open is preferable to stumbling upon them.

_About an hour later_

“Buckets?” Asuka was scanning the classroom.

“Left to dry, as Horaki-san ordered”, Shinji replied.

“Cloths?” she went on as she checked if the windows were closed.

“Put on racks in janitorial area, drying as well”, he reported.

“Did you see anyone on the way?” she queried, satisfied with the results of her inspection.

“Two people on the floor below us, wrapping up. They should be gone by now”, he continued his report.

“Good”, Asuka reached the door, slid it closed, and clicked the lock. “Now, I believe we have earned our reward”, her hitherto focused expression turned into a wide grin. Shinji responded with one of his own.

“Do you have anything in your mind?” he asked innocuously.

“Maaaaybe”, the grin widened as she approached him in a leisurely stride. “It has a number, I believe”, she stopped well within his personal space.

“I believe that number is ‘thirty’”, he replied. “And it has the ‘first installment’ attached to it.”

“So few?” she asked with a hint of disappointment in her voice. “Are you sure?”

“A reasonable compromise between you feeling the punishment and not turning your perfect bottom into a mincemeat, Asuka”, he smiled. “Don’t worry, the rest will not go forgotten”, he reassured her.

“Oh, I believe you. So… what are your commands?” she leaned in and whispered to his ear.

“Choose a place you wish to be punished against, Asuka”, he commanded, not reaching his _proper_ voice yet.

“Mm, of course”, her grin remained in place. Shinji had a strange association in his mind, something about a grinning cat, a concept he knew but could not exactly recall where from. Shaking his head, he refocused on Asuka who, with barely any doubt, approached one of the desks, leaned against it, and traced its lines with her hands almost affectionately: “This one.”

He blinked in surprise. “Do you really want to do it on **that** particular desk? It’s Horaki’s…”

“Exactly”, the grin remained. “It will definitely be a bonus. I’ll just love to see her sit at it, perfectly unaware of the debauchery that transpired here.”

“Gods, Asuka, you’re just incorrigible”, Shinji rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Well… correct me then”, she grinned as she tested a position at the desk. “Can’t promise it will last, though.”

“I wouldn’t have dreamed of that, Asuka”, he admitted with a smile. “So, shall we–”

“Shinji”, Asuka raised her hand as a fun-if-possibly-horrible idea shot through her mind. “We’re at school. Don’t you want to use that?”

“Use that?” he tilted his head. “How?”

“Well…” she smiled. “I don’t know if you ever wanted to be a teacher, but now’s your chance to be quite a stern one”, she giggled. “Imagine being a teacher, or a coach… correcting an unruly Miss Langley?” she smiled a wide smile. “What do you say to that…” she paused, her stomach fluttering. “Sir?”

There was a time when Shinji would consider such an idea absurd. There was a more recent time where he would consider it too weird to apply. There was also a time he would think of it as too transgressive to pursue.

Not anymore, not in his current mood. Now, his intent was to make Asuka happy. He just nodded slowly, his smile widening to a grin.

“I see you are willing to accept your… correction, Miss Langley. Remove your uniform”, he_ commanded_._ “_Slowly.”

A shiver ran down her spine. _‘Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. The lessons in this room will never be the same again.’_

Straightening back, Asuka took a deep breath and slid her hand under the uniform’s straps. Sliding them aside and down, as slowly as she could, made her body tingle. Next was the ribbon on her neck; untying it felt like surrendering something; a blush crept up her face. _‘This is absurd. I’m more dressed now than I usually am at home!’_ she chastised herself – but with a keen awareness that something was _very_ different.

She shook the feeling off; overthinking things now was not going to be very helpful. She started to unfasten the uniform’s outer garment; a few moments later, she stepped out of it, acutely aware of Shinji’s attention on her now-bare legs. She reached for the blouse’s hem–

“Clothes take time and work to wash, Miss Langley. It should not be on the floor. Pick it up”, he _commanded_. “I’ll wait.”

A shiver ran down her spine and her ears turned red. Those were the words she would react with anger not too long ago – in fact, this was the kind of request she would throw in his face even nowadays, likely with a yell or a bout of mocking laughter – or at least a scoff.

But not _now_. Not in this very moment. _‘Okay, by all means, he should be dead by now, or at least in the process of being mauled to death’_, a part of her mind realized. She shelved that thought; it was not going to be useful in the next few minutes, perhaps even hours.

She slowly reached down and picked up the greenish garment, folded it neatly, and put it on the desk next to her. Her ears continued to burn.

She reached for the hem of the blouse again, removing it slowly while looking into Shinji’s eyes as long as she could. He was smiling softly – and his face was quite red as well. _‘Not so above it all, are we’_, she grinned internally. _‘Well, I am doing this for his entertainment, crazy and sick as it may be’_, she concluded._ ‘No, not “sick”… “twisted”, perhaps.’_

She folded the blouse and put it atop the rest of the uniform before reaching for her socks–

“Leave them on”, came in a husky voice, followed by a sound of the cleared throat. “Leave the socks and shoes on”, Shinji repeated in a softer voice.

“Why?” she asked automatically. Her blush strengthened; it was an act of defiance that would be normal to her – at least under normal circumstances. Right now, it felt outright _extreme_. _‘What the fuck is happening to me…?’ _she asked herself once again. _‘And why do I enjoy it?’_

“I like it better that way”, he smiled warmly, his _voice_ unchanged.

She could only nod in reply. _‘Because I’m a freak, that’s why. Fuck that’_, she concluded.

The next step would be her bra – but before reaching for the clasp, she realized something. “Shinji… I mean… sir”, she raised her hand and started. “I think we’re doing something in the wrong order”, she declared.

“A-Miss Langley?” his stare, hitherto focused solely on her slowly baring body, shot back to her face. “I… what do you mean?”

Asuka took a deep breath. “I can go like this, and you’re going to like it… a lot”, her smirk widened. “But I think we should focus on the… punishment part first”, she suggested.

“We are?” he protested.

“Not yet, and…” she paused. “Okay, let’s put it that way. When I’m done with… all… this…” she gestured on the clothes, “properly, neither of us will be in the mood for, well, spanking. So”, her tone turned pleading, “if I may suggest, sir, allow me to strip quickly and please, punish me as much as you desire”, she felt her stomach flutter at those words; tingling in her nether parts followed. “I promise to… finish this properly once we are in better… circumstances.”

Shinji pondered for a moment. “I’m not sure I follow you entirely… Miss Langley”, he addressed her slowly. “But I will trust you on that. Remove the rest, except the socks and shoes, of course, and assume the position for your well-deserved punishment.”

She shivered on the last words, but her smile remained intact. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

***

With Asuka’s mind focused on _undressing_ instead of _stripping in the sexiest way possible_, she was ready in ten seconds. “I’m at your command, sir”, she declared, the unrelenting swarm of butterflies running through her stomach. The anticipation was building up rapidly.

“Stand here”, he pointed a spot. “Put your hands on the desk and your bottom in the air.”

This was a known and anticipated routine; Asuka obeyed instantly, grasping the desk with both hands.

“Spread your legs a step further”, came another command.

_‘“So I can see how wet you got while stripping for me”?’_ an unvoiced thought went through her mind. _‘Not that I’d refuse such an order–’_

“As we discussed”, his sudden words interrupted her thoughts, “we won’t ruin your bottom pointlessly. That means you’re getting an installment of thirty. But this time, it’s the ruler”, he slowly approached one of the back cupboards and fished a long, heavy, meter-long wooden ruler. Asuka’s eyes bulged.

_‘Okay, as if the setting was not interesting enough’_, she eyed the tool, not knowing what to expect. “I really hope you won’t… break it.”

Shinji smiled sheepishly. “Don’t worry about that, Miss Langley, I don’t remember it being used by any of the teachers… like, ever. If it breaks…” he gave the ruler a swing, “on your perfect bottom, we’ll finish by other means. And then we’ll have some time to replace it discreetly. Unless, of course, you prefer me to use the strap?” he queried.

Asuka gave it a moment of thought. “No”, she decided. “In for a penny, in for a pound. We’re at school.”

“Hm, fair point”, his smile turned crooked. “We’re at school, and I’m using a ruler… so it’s only fair for you to count the strokes, correct?” he concluded.

_‘Me and my big mouth’, _Asuka grumbled internally. _‘But this **is **going to be interesting …’_ she realized as her earlier suspicions were confirmed. “Yes, sir!” she replied, confused at how natural it sounded in her mouth.

“Good girl”, his voice was suddenly warm.

She felt a swarm of butterflies running through her stomach. _‘God, if he keeps this up, then by end of this I’m going to be either a pile of goo or horny beyond reason… or both’,_ she realized with some worry. _‘I wonder how he’d react to me, presenting myself on the teacher’s desk, my bottom in the air, with a subtle hint written in big letters on the board: FUCK ME NOW or DON’T STOP UNTIL I SCREAM?’_ she giggled internally.

“What is so amusing, Miss Langley?” a question came, bringing her whole body to strained attention without changing the position and making her realize she relaxed more than expected.

_‘He’s getting into the mood, all right… let’s not disappoint, then’_, she decided. “N-nothing!”

“You know what happens to girls who lie, don’t you?” his voice was unchanged.

_‘They get another five kisses on their bottoms, sir?’_ was a thought she wanted to vocalize. But that would feel a bit out of the scene – even if, for some reason, while she was wound like a spring and dripping with anticipation, she was not really afraid. But the schoolgirl was. “Y-yes, sir. I’m sorry”, she managed. “I was imagining being on the teacher’s desk, sir. Fully ex-exposed”, she replied in true Shikinami Technically True Maneuver fashion.

“And you might end up there if you don’t behave”, came the stern reply. “And don’t pay attention. Now, I will repeat the question only once: are you ready for your punishment?”

“Yes, sir. I am”, the redhead nodded.

“Good. Count every one of them”, he commanded as the cold, rough surface touched her bottom.

A shiver ran up Asuka’s spine. _‘That’s definitely different. Harder. Let me guess, the blows will be–aaaaahhhh!’_

Suddenly, one of her main questions about the current event was just answered. The stinging sensation of the impact spread quickly across the skin; the second wave of pain, a needle-like feeling caused her to let out a little purr. _‘Ooh. I… I don’t know how it’ll be after thirty, but this is… nice’_, she wiggled her bottom slightly. She resumed her position waiting for another blow – and waited.

After a few seconds, she took a sideways look at Shinji who was just standing there – with his eyebrow raised.

_‘Oh. Fuck. Right’_, she realized. “One”, she blurted.

Shinji nodded with a smile and placed the ruler against her bottom again. Asuka closed her eyes.

The swing was audible, and the sensation – similar. The impact, the needles, the growing warmth.

“Two.”

Slowly, the routine took shape. Hard, cold wood against the increasingly hot bottom. A swing. The impact. Those few long, precious seconds when the pain and heat spread across the skin and went deeper along the nerves. The number, spoken aloud, allowing it all to begin again.

It was almost hypnotic.

By “Five!” she no longer spoke the count – she gasped it out. By “Ten!”, her bottom was covered thoroughly enough for each blow to be at least partially delivered over one of the previous ones, adding to the sting and the heat. _‘I’ –_ “Eleven!” _– ‘really need’ – _ “T-twelve!” _– ‘to find a’ – _ “Thh-thirteen!” _– ‘carpenter to’ – _ “Fffff-ourteen!” _ – ‘make me’ – _ “Fiffffteeen!” _– ‘a proper paddle’_, she decided as she tensed her muscles in anticipation of yet another blow.

Instead, she heard a voice. “We’re halfway there, Miss Langley”, Shinji leaned close to her face. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, sir”, she purred, her breathing heavy. “Can I have another fifteen, sir?” she requested.

“By all means”, he smiled. “You can rub your bottom if you wish to.”

“Can you do that for me, sir?” she asked, unable to trap the thought in time. “Please?” she added in a pleading voice.

***

Seeing Asuka taking her punishment, while by no means a common sight, was something Shinji got used to – to a degree. Hearing her ask, or even plead, for more pain was also something he accepted, even if it still made his stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies.

But hearing her asking for something so obviously intimate, requesting a gesture that clearly had an erotic subtext – no, scratch that, this was not subtext, this was a 72-point font pushed in front of his face – not to mention asked in an indisputably submissive voice – that was something new. He was actually surprised by the fact that he was able to think right now – and that his pants remained unbroken.

He also knew that there was only one course of action he could reasonably take. A small part of his mind chuckled at the fact that those few months ago, that course would have taken him across the classroom and out of the window.

But that was no longer the case. With a careful move, he put the ruler down and touched the hot, bruising skin.

***

Asuka knew well how Shinji’s touch should feel. She also knew quite well how the touch on freshly-spanked skin felt. But combining those two, atop of her current mood, was quite new.

Her goal, as it usually was during any of the punishment sessions, was to maintain her dignity for as long as possible. It had been, of course, a futile effort since the sessions got longer, Shinji got better at administering them, and her own mindset started to welcome the failure as something desirable in the end. Still, maintaining composure was a challenge she took seriously – and any distractions or breaches in her demeanor would be detrimental to that goal.

A thought to that end passed through her mind as Shinji’s warm and surprisingly soft hand descended carefully on her tender and stinging skin and started a gentle rubbing motion. About two seconds later, her hand flew to her mouth in a vain attempt to cover up a loud moan.

“Don’t stop yourself, Miss Langley”, he suggested; this was not the _voice_, it was a gentle suggestion – but it was spoken close enough to an order for her to move her hand away. “I… like how you sound”, he added.

_‘God, then you’re going to just love fucking me’_, a stray thought almost escaped her mind before getting captured, chained, and thrown into a reinforced box. _‘No way! Not now! Not so soon!’_ she chastised her mind, trying to ignore the near-literal fire of her skin her blush turned into. _‘This is not–oohh that bastard–’_

Shinji alternated the rubbing movement with a more deliberate and far less gentle scratching; his nails were not exactly long, but they provided sensation enough.

“I definitely like how you sound”, Shinji commented on yet another moan-turned-purr coming from her mouth. “But, no matter how I enjoy that particular sound, you have a few more to make”, his smile turned wry as he gave her bottom a final rub and reached again for the ruler. “Unless you want to stop at fifteen?”

_‘Only if you take me right here, right now, on the teacher’s desk’_, she captured, chained, and pushed down another dangerous thought. _‘Preferably from behind, so you could rub against that fresh skin’_, her mind continued, undeterred. _‘Or maybe with me on my back with my legs high, so you could watch every face I make and slap my bottom–’_

‘**_Enough!_**’ she shook her head. “No. I want another fifteen, and I will count them…” she paused, her heartbeat speeding up. “I will count them as a good girl should.”

Shinji’s smile softened and his hand rested on Asuka’s head; she closed her eyes as her skin tingled. _‘God, do you want me to melt here and now?! Hurt me, dammit!’_

“I’m sure you’ll count them just right. And I’m sure you will **take** them as a good girl should, as well”, he patted her head softly. “Now”, his voice _changed_, “brace yourself.”

Asuka released the breath she was unwittingly holding. “Yes, sir”, she replied and stuck her bottom as far as she could while grasping the desk with all her strength. She was quite aware that her thighs were getting wet – and slowly started to wonder whether there was not a small puddle forming on the floor. When the ruler rested against her bottom, she shuddered.

“Sixteen!” she exclaimed scant three seconds later. She closed her eyes. There was nothing to see, nothing to think of.

All that remained was the pain, the feeling, the _sensation_.

She let it flood her.

_***_

“Thirty!” came far too late for her ignored rational mind that sometimes questioned the wisdom of letting herself be hurt – and far too soon for the definitely-dominant part of her mind that relished in the sensations heaped on her right now.

“Correct, Miss Langley”, came the voice from above. “I commend you, you didn’t miscount even once”, Shinji’s voice was full of… pride? “You may stand up now”, he added in a permitting voice.

Taking a slow, deliberate breath, Asuka relaxed her vice-like grip on the desk. In the space of another slow breath she straightened up and turned to face her executioner.

“How are you feeling, Asuka?” he smiled, his stern demeanor suddenly gone the moment he put the ruler away. “Come to me”, he extended his arms – and she automatically slid into his embrace. His arms closed around her – and hers around him.

To Asuka’s surprise, she was not in the mood to cry; there were, of course, some tears on her hot face and her feelings were about the same she always had after the punishment: great relief, tinged with a weird mix of pleasure, shame, arousal…

No. That was not a ‘tinge of arousal’. She quickly rubbed her thighs together, not daring to break the embrace to check with her hand; her earlier suspicions have been confirmed: she was dripping wet. _‘One wanton, coming right up… just not literally’_, she chuckled. _‘But… why not?’_ a voice suddenly asked a question she did not have a good answer to. _‘Fuck that. In for… and all that. Let’s see if he stops me.’_

“Rub them, Shinji”, she whispered into his ear. “Enjoy the results of your work”, she grinned.

She was expecting some hesitation, but instead, she felt his hand slide down her spine to cup her buttock for a moment before starting to rub is. She clenched her teeth, but it was too late – a purr came out. “Shinji…” she started again.

“Yes… darling?” his voice was huskier than before; his other hand joined the caring-yet-teasing effort.

“I’m going to ask you something… new”, she continued, her voice shaky. “You… can say the word, accept, punish me, or even…” she hesitated, “even deny me that, but I’m not sure how that would end. But please, don’t panic, okay?”

The boy nodded. “You know me by now, right?” he pulled away just enough to see her face. “What is it?”

_‘Great, now I have to ask him that while looking into his eye… ah, fuck that’_, she decided. “Okay. I’m… well, you did a great job”, she smiled sheepishly. “I… I’m about twenty steps, literal steps, from an orgasm. I… want to solve that problem before we go”, she explained.

_‘Great, Shikinami, great work, you described it so clinically that you could be playing a sexy nurse instead of a spanked schoolgirl!’_ she clenched her jaw.

“I… I’m not sure if I can, I mean–” his panicked voice cut her overthinking short. She shook her head.

“God, no, I’m not asking you to – ah fuck”, she stopped as she sensed his attempt on retreat. “Hey, you agreed not to panic!” she reminded him in a sudden saving throw. _Right, as if this was rational’_, she sighed internally – but despite her doubts, his attempts ceased.

“Listen…” she started again, her eyes closed. “Full disclosure, no lies, no half-truths. Okay?” her eyes shot open in time to see him nod. “Great. I would definitely want you to do… well… _something_ to me”, she cringed on how this sounded; squashing that worry, she continued: “No doubt on that. But I get you have… well, second thoughts and you’re unsure and all that.”

“Asuka…” he tried.

“But don’t worry!” she interrupted, “I can handle it myself, you just have to–”

Asuka did not notice when his hand left her bottom; a finger on her lips stopped the stream of words.

“Do you want me to… assist you?” he asked, his voice shaky but slowly regaining its firmness. “We… we managed that before, right?” he added before removing his finger.

Asuka realized she had been holding her breath. Taking a deep one, she pondered for a moment. A storm of thoughts was no help; her primary need was to _climax_, and it could be from his hand, her own hand, the ruler, Hikari You Are Disgusting Perverts! Horaki’s desk, his–

A spark of idea appeared, like a bird shooting over the battlefield. She focused on that idea. It was insane and more than a little bit absurd – but so was the entire situation.

“Shinji”, she started. “Where are we?”

“In a classroom?” he replied reflexively. “Are you all right?” he asked with worry.

She shook her head. “That was rhetorical. I mean, I know where we are. Now”, she smiled widely. “What do you do in a classroom? In school?” she asked. _‘Aside from spanking unruly students, of course’_, she chuckled internally.

“Study?” he replied, having difficulty following her.

“Exactly”, her smile turned into a grin. “You’re not sure how it should work… let me teach you”, the grin widened.

Shinji’s expression alternated between confusion and fascination. “You want me to… you want to teach me… what exactly?” he asked, unsure if this was an attempt to understand – or to buy time.

“How… well, how to make a girl even happier”, she explained. “And we’d have killed two birds with one stone, you get a lesson, and I don’t go crazy while walking home. Interested?” she raised her eyebrows, her grin unchanged.

“The most beautiful girl I know is offering me private tutoring”, Shinji quipped to his surprise, aware of how little blood was left in his brain. “How can I refuse?”

“Good answer”, Asuka grinned so hard that she had the impression that her jaw muscles may start to hurt soon. Still, she found herself unable to stop. “Now, please push the seat a bit away, and sit down”, she pointed to the teacher’s chair, “and I will take the desk”, she requested.

Shinji took a deep breath. This whole scene – until now – was already a heart-attack-inducing breach of rules, but it was limited to a framework of a well-rehearsed and well-known ritual they practiced many times before. But now, it began to turn into a heart-attack-inducing-and-hair-graying experience of breaching every single rule – and was far from over. A few stray thoughts tried to tell him that there was, technically, no direct rule that forbade the students from engaging in sexual activity while on the school grounds, but he was quite certain that there were several more generic regulations that could be easily put together to form such a ban.

He was also perfectly aware that breaking the mood right now for anything but a serious discomfort or a proper emergency would be cruel – not to mention, inexcusably rude and contrary to his general goal of making Asuka happy. Thus, despite doubts brewing in his mind and never letting Asuka from his field of vision, not even for a second, he walked to the teacher’s chair and took a seat as far away from the desk as the wall allowed.

***

Asuka’s heart was beating like crazy. _‘God, this is insane. Did I just talk him into witnessing one of the most intimate acts possible? Not “got convinced by him”, not “got ordered by him”, but actually, actively offered him to **watch** as I rub one out?’_

Considering that the facts indicated that exactly this was happening, and that facts were the most obstinate thing in the world, Asuka shook the internal rhetoric off. Shinji was sitting in the chair she sent him to, almost like a teacher waiting for the student to perform a demonstration or give an answer. This countered her original idea of her being the teacher this time – but at this moment, she was past caring about such details; it was all fluent right now, as long as it was between both of them.

The redhead stretched, removing the last vestiges of tension caused by the position she took her punishment in. She approached the desk in a few slow steps; a smile returned to her face when she saw how much Shinji’s eyes were glued to her nude form. _‘Mm… paying attention in class, like a good student should…’_ her smile widened only to diminish as she realized something else: _‘Any lesson here is going to be… really, really weird from now on. Or at least looking at this desk…’_

She pushed that thought aside as something to worry about tomorrow. Right now, she had hungry-eyed Shinji in front of her, a hard edge of the desk pressing against her freshly-spanked bottom, and a task at hand. She opened her mouth and asked the only appropriate question.

***

Shinji Ikari was no stranger to arousal. He was, after all, a teenage boy, with _some_ experience in both acquisition and disposal of said arousal. The catch was, it was usually done discreetly, and even if the rapport he had built with Asuka over the last few months brushed _a lot_ of barriers away, some reservations remained.

Asuka was about to smash another of them away – the unspoken ‘we talk about it, but we don’t do it in front of each other’ agreement. It was, admitted, already strained by Asuka’s surprise rub-off against him a few days ago… but it was not _that_ open, not _that_ obvious, not _that in front of his face_–

He took a deep breath and reminded himself to blink sometimes; his eyes were reluctant to do so in fear of losing something of the heavenly sight in front of him. A sight he beheld before, several times… but never in this exact context.

His reverie was broken by a sound of her voice; welcome, but distracting.

“Sorry, what did you say?” he refocused on her face.

Asuka chuckled. “Well, I guess being so focused on me that you stop paying attention to anything else is a compliment, so no violent retaliation for you right now. You’re actually… well, paying _too much_ attention, if anything”, she paused, her voice turning from cheeky to soft. “I wanted to know if I can begin my demonstration… sir.”

Shinji took another deep breath and tried to reassert his previous demeanor. Uncertain how it worked, he still gave an approving nod. “Yes, please, Miss Langley. Proceed with the demonstration. I hope it will be informative”, he added.

Asuka’s soft expression turned into a smirk as her hand went to touch her lips – and then started to slide back down.

***

Shinji, once more, needed to remind himself that blinking is a good idea.

As Asuka’s hand slid down her chin, down her throat, and along her sternum, his eyes followed it faithfully. When her hand stopped between her breasts and fingers traced a single circle around each of the two, he managed to catch a wide, satisfied smile on her face.

_‘Perhaps I should read some erotic poetry… I’d be hard-pressed to compliment her with normal words right now’_, a stray thought appeared. On the other hand, another – quiet but persistent – thought told him that he could use his lips to compliment her directly, and words were completely unnecessary for that.

His blush, already radiant, increased a notch. He blinked, forced by the burning sensation in his eyes – and continued to follow Asuka’s hand as it slid down her belly, made a playful circle around her navel, only to slowly reach and cover Asuka’s p-‘the center of pleasure for the female body, thank you very much’.

_‘I don’t have anything to change to in case… something happens’_, Shinji suddenly realized. _‘And I have nobody to blame but myself… let’s hope Asuka will have mercy.’_

He looked up, noticed Asuka’s lop-sided grin, and swallowed. It was easy to see his hopes were vain.

***

_‘Is this how he feels when I follow his orders without question?’_ Asuka wondered as she watched Shinji’s transfixed gaze follow her every gesture. This was, obviously, not an entirely _new_ sensation to her – she was used to boys’ attention being heaped upon her, to their eyes that followed her every move, to their attempts to peep at her as she was changing, and all other consequences of being in the spotlight as an elite Pilot and an exotic beauty.

But this felt… different. First of all, it was coming from a person who had every right to stare. Second, she was in control. Third, she _wanted_ it, she seemed never to get _enough_ of it. The rabble in school, initially flattering, got annoying far too quickly, their ridiculous love letters being a nuisance, and their looks of attention far too often turned into leering gazes.

_‘I wonder how they would react if they learned that one of the most silent boys in the class has captured the prize and has her in the palm of his hand…’_, she giggled internally. _‘Perhaps there is some truth to “the meek shall inherit the Earth?”’_ she pondered for a second before noticing a wrinkle in that reasoning. _‘Negative. He got me in his grasp only after he **stopped** being meek…’_

She shifted her focus away from the internal considerations. Something else was demanding her attention, tingling from her arousal, from the touch of the covering hand – and from the unwavering, unblinking, unmoving gaze of a certain boy.

_‘Showtime.’_

***

Asuka remembered a relatively recent shift in her attitudes towards masturbation. It, unsurprisingly, coincided with the time when she began to have her bottom warmed up with some regularity, with the time she discovered how a blistered bottom and memories of being spanked amplified the sensation. And she was just about to add another factor to it.

She wanted to start slowly, to actually make it a demonstration, to explain things on the way.

This did not exactly pan out.

“Watch me, Shinji, this is how it… should… ooh”, she tried, only to have her voice degenerate into a moan after a few slow rubs. _‘Nope’_, she decided; she tried to formulate some further, coherent rationalization for the change of plans, but no part of her brain was willing to cooperate._ ‘I’ll ask forgiveness… later’_, she decided – and this time, her brain has helpfully shown several ways she could accomplish that.

Before she could consciously process them, her hand has resumed the movements. She was quite sensitive: even the softest touch was sending just the right impulses. Soft moans were escaping her lips one by one, alternating with gasps.

She closed her eyes as the images moved in her mind: her sheepishly apologizing and being told that was another five; her apologizing haughtily and being told this was a ten for the tone; her refusing to apologize and being told to remove her shoes and lie back for a foot whipping; her crossing her hands on her chest and giving him a silent treatment, only to be told to extend those hands immediately, palms up, and receiving five on each of them–

She let out a loud moan; the sensitiveness was virtually gone, the movements of her hands were frantic, and she recognized the familiar buildup inside her body.

_‘I’m a bad girl, I deserve the punishment, I’m a good girl, I deserve the pleasure’_, a stray thought appeared mere seconds before getting washed away as Asuka’s body tensed, her nerves firing up in an overwhelming, overreaching symphony of pleasure.

***

It took her a while to return to her normal breathing. It also took Shinji a moment to return to his senses.

“Are… are you satisfied with my… demonstration… sir?” she whispered, her voice hoarse. She was not exactly sure about her surroundings: there was some cold, hard, and uneven surface at her back; her bottom was resting on something equally cold and hard, but smooth; the air was smelling of her. Despite this disorientation, she felt _safe_. Safe, because she was in a company of–

“I am… Miss Langley”, came in a distant voice. “And yes, my dear Asuka, you are a good girl and deserve all the pleasure in the world”, the voice continued, causing Asuka’s stomach to flutter. “And about the punishments… leave that to me”, the voice concluded.

_‘Damn it, I said it out loud?’_ she realized.

“Yes you did”, the voice came closer.

“And… let me guess, I said that out loud too?” she took a deep breath. “I must be careful… try not to think too much in this state”, she smiled an uneasy smile.

“Don’t worry”, the voice was very close now. “Your secrets are safe with me”, a cool hand touched her cheek. Half a second later, his lips touched hers.

_‘Safe.’_


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, just as the previous one, is a bit lemony; contrary to the previous one, it also contains some plot. As you have been doubly warned now, you’re welcome to enjoy the story!
> 
> On an unrelated note, regarding the repeating jokes about ‘losing blood flow to the brain whenever erection is mentioned and implied’: I’m perfectly aware that it does not work that way for most people; the brain receives relatively the same amount of blood at all times, and an erection does not require enough blood to cause any serious problems (with the possible exception of unusually large penises that allegedly cause circulation issues in the entire body when erect – not the case here). Still, Shinji’s own knowledge in that regard is likely limited and it’s a funny stereotype to play with; not to mention, it nicely represents how arousal tends to mess with thought processes on the mental level.

_Late Friday afternoon_

“I’m glad you are able to walk, Asuka”, Shinji commented as they were leaving the school grounds.

“Oh come on”, she scoffed in a somewhat hoarse voice. “It was intense, granted, but I’m the fittest person you’ll ever meet. On a related note, shouldn’t you have taken a–” she stopped herself. _‘You were supposed to stop joking about his “breaks”. Not until you… resolve the issue, preferably by your own hand’_, a helpful voice reminded her sternly.

“Have taken what?” Shinji tilted his head. “And shouldn’t we be walking in the opposite direction?” he looked around confused.

“We’re going to pick up the movies I’ve been chasing for the last week”, Asuka smirked, thankful to him for unwittingly providing a change of subject. “Don’t worry, Misato’s not expecting us anytime soon.”

“Oh, right”, he smiled. “But I think she might be home first. We took our time to, well, erase all traces of our… misconduct”, he blushed. “So, what were you saying?”

“That you should be taking notes”, the redhead improvised, managing to suppress the momentary panic. “Are you sure you’re going to remember all the tricks?”

Shinji’s blush intensified. “To be honest, I don’t think I’m going to be forgetting **that** image anytime soon”, he admitted. “But I’m afraid that, while certainly vivid and engaging, it was way, way too fast to be a proper classroom demonstration”, he winked.

Asuka’s face suddenly turned red. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Asuka? Are you all right?” he shot her a worried look.

“I’ll explain later. Okay?”

“Sure”, he smiled a warm smile.

***

“Good evening!” Asuka would have damaged the rental store’s door with the force of her entry if they were not so well-oiled. “I’m here for a reservation, Monty Python Box Set”, she announced.

“Ah, yes. Good evening”, the middle-aged woman behind the counter hid her split-second expression of surprise and smiled at her immediately, noticing Shinji with nothing more than a slightly raised eyebrow. “Shikinami-san, correct? I’ve got your order right here”, she put a rather large box set on the desk. “Is there anything else you would like to rent with that?”

“No, thank you”, Asuka grinned as she eyed the box. “Any reservations on that?”

“There are none at the moment”, the woman replied in perfect professional calm. “Will you be returning it on Monday or on Tuesday?”

“Tuesday, if possible. It’s a lot to go through”, the grin remained.

“Of course”, the woman’s tone and professionalism remained unchanged despite her clearly taking curious looks at Asuka. Shinji waited patiently as his girlfriend finished the transaction and burdened him with the bag that barely contained the whole set. Saying their polite good-byes, they left the place.

***

“Are you sure we’ll be able to watch all of this?” Shinji eyed the box.

“Pretty sure”, Asuka shrugged. “Half of it is the selection from the TV show, and I won’t be torturing you with it. I’d have to pause twice every sketch to explain it to you”, she elaborated. “Not to mention some of their jokes require a dictionary and a history book to understand. It’s about the films.”

“So, we go back, warm the dinner if Misato hasn’t eaten it all, and start the movie night?”

Asuka glared at him. “No i-Shinji”, she replied, her voice glum. “We’re going to arrive at the apartment, eat, do the homework we’re lucky to have less than usual of, and by then we should have our killjoy in the area. We give her a beer or two or six, and then we go to bed. We have unfinished business to take care of”, she grinned.

“Unfinished business?” Shinji frowned. “I thought you…”

“You thought I… what?” she looked at him with a hint of a mocking smile. _‘And, of course, you fail to take **yourself** into account. That’ll take a few lessons, I believe’,_ she noted offhandedly.

“I thought you… came there. In the classroom”, he explained with a rapidly growing blush.

“Oh yes, I did”, she grinned, her blush matching his. “Heavily. But only once, and I intend to–God, what do they teach you in that sex-ed class?” her expression suddenly turned to confusion.

“Same as you, I suppose? Barring anatomical differences?” he tilted his head. “In other words, necessities?”

“Ever heard the term _multiorgasmic_?” she kept inquiring, trying to pronounce the English term as clearly as possible, unsure how to translate it without sounding ridiculous.

“Well, I can guess what it means, but…” he replied, his blush growing with every word.

“Okay. Long story short, that’s me. Two, three in a row, more if they’re not very intense”, the redhead rattled out after checking they were reasonably away from other people in the street. “And I just had one. Intense, but given I have time to recuperate right now, I intend to have at least one more tonight. And this time… I want you involved”, she continued, her voice huskier. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you… hanging”, she added with a grin.

“I’m sure you won’t. Your guidance was already quite enlightening”, he smiled, his blush not receding.

Asuka’s palm met her face. “Not what I meant”, she murmured. “Never mind”, she shook her head. “You’ll see”, she finished. _‘And feel, if I don’t fuck anything up’_, she added silently.

***

“Oh, bloody fuck!” came from the bathroom, quickly followed by a redheaded storm. “Shinji, for fuck’s sake, why didn’t you say **anything**?”

The accused boy tilted his head as he turned away from the stove. “Say anything about what?”

“This!” Asuka pointed to her rather chaotic hair, her voice incensed. “About my perfect J-B-F hairdo?” she spelled the letter in the English fashion.

“J-B… what?” his repeated as his head tilt intensified.

“Just-Been-Fucked”, Asuka listed the English words with a growl. “And I was wondering why the lady looked at us so strange. Let’s be glad Misato wasn’t here”, she shook her head, her voice far from calming down. “Which brings us back to the question, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought you left it that way for a reason”, he explained, still confused by the outburst. “Besides, it looks kind of cute”, he smiled. “Homely.”

Asuka rolled her eyes. “Right. Of course, you prefer it that way”, she growled again. “Just… keep in mind that it’s _a bit telling_ to anyone who knows what to look for, okay?”

“Okay, I can bear the burden of being the guard of your appearances”, he agreed with a smile. “Speaking of guarding, that’s five more for the language.”

“Oh great”, Asuka chuckled. “I just got rid of a thirty to get more? Want to place bets whether I go below thirty before the next Angel appears?”

Shinji could not tell from her tone of voice how to treat her remarks – a mix of annoyed and amused was difficult to decipher; still, knowing that delaying the answer is the worst option, he decided to take his chances. “Well, you’re at forty now, and we can do another installment in about a week… so unless you’ll be really, really fishing for more or the Angel appears out of the blue, there **is** a good chance for you to go below thirty” he estimated.

Asuka took a deep breath. Discussing her spankings right now – before doing the homework and before putting Misato down for the count – suddenly stopped to look like a good idea; the tingling in her nether regions was telling her that all too well. ‘_Still, it was not me who started it… what was I talking about… ah, yes. Appearances.’_

“Fair point”, she agreed. “Now, back to the matter at hand, just to be sure… can I rely on you to point my messy state out the next time?”

“Of course?” he confirmed, confused by the question. “Since I know you’d rather not show that face to the outside – oh. Right. Sorry”, his voice dropped.

“Now you get it”, she noted with satisfaction. “But if you start to beat yourself over it, I’m going to whack you over that foolish head of yours, no matter the price you place on that later. You’re supposed to beat **me**, not yourself”, she added with a wry smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind”, he nodded solemnly. “So… dinner will be ready in ten minutes. You might want to change… and brush your hair”, he added with a smile.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious”, she grumbled.

“My pleasure, Captain Shikinami”, he replied with a small bow.

Asuka grinned.

“Save the formalities for the evening”, she retorted before turning on the spot and vanishing behind the door of her room. A confused look followed her, only to turn into a shrug and a smile as Shinji returned to the safe activities of the kitchen.

***

_Friday evening_

“Another beer, Misato?” Asuka asked innocently. Their guardian was already rather uncoordinated, but Asuka was bent on making absolutely sure her lights were out.

“It’ss an op-tion”, Misato agreed. “Tha-nk you”, she smiled to Asuka as she handed her another, already opened can and dropped to her seat next to Shinji who was scribbling something in his notebook. Asuka tried to discern the symbols, but Shinji’s hasty handwriting, while still quite neat, was intelligible for her. _‘Oh well, another question for the night… once the important business is concluded’_, she decided.

Misato took a gulp and took a long look at her charges. “Y’look cute to-gether, you know?” she suddenly blurted out. “I really wissh… really…” she glared past them, completely missing the fearful glare Shinji shot Asuka – and Asuka’s reassuring look that came in reply. “I really wissh I wash like you…” Misato took a big gulp and let out a heavy sigh. “Young… and…” she trailed off as she shook her head.

“Misato… let me help you”, Shinji rose from his seat and extended his hand to Misato. She looked up at him with half-conscious eyes, shook her head, emptied the can in one move, stood up abruptly, and slowly staggered towards the bathroom; Shinji followed a step behind her, his hands at ready to catch her if needed. Once she reached the door, she turned to face him. “Don’t let her… end up as – as I did, Shin-chan”, she spoke leaning with her back against the doorframe, her words slurred, but her eyes focused. “If you – if you care ‘bout her – don’t let her end up alone… and if she, she ever runs, chase her to the end of the world”, she continued, her gaze slowly becoming blurry. “Sheee’s – she’s worth it. Worth the world”, she finished as she opened the door and stumbled into the bathroom.

Shinji slid the door close behind his guardian. He stood there for a few seconds; once the sounds reassured him Misato found the toilet without hurting herself, he returned to Asuka’s side.

“I think we overdid it this time”, he whispered, his voice worried as he eyed the bathroom’s door.

Asuka shook her head. “Not really. Did you **see** her?” she pointed out. “How exhausted she was? She needed that reset. Don’t worry, this is hardly the drunkest she ever was. Just escort her to the bed… I’ll clean this up”, she declared.

“Are you sure?” Shinji glared at her suspiciously.

“Are you telling me I’m too stupid to do that?” she asked, a mix of amusement and mockery in her voice.

“Well, stupid you’re surely not, but I think you’re kind of inexperienced”, he retorted with his eyebrows raised.

Asuka shot him an incredulous glare. “You’re quite cheeky for someone whom I can immobilize in less than two seconds.”

“You’re quite cheeky for someone who needs a pillow to sit comfortably for the next day or two”, he retorted.

Asuka’s eyes narrowed, but a smile appeared in the corner of her mouth. “I can do without”, she countered. “Watch me.”

“Oh, I will. Tomorrow, all day”, he smiled a coy smile. “With pleasure.”

“Oh, I’m sure about that, you pervert”, she hissed. “And what will you do later, after you enjoyed my suffering all day?” she queried before her mind managed to warn her from straying into a minefield. Fortunately for her, Shinji either missed the jab or simply decided to ignore it.

“Most likely provide a hefty amount of hugging and perhaps discuss when you’d be ready for the next installment of your… corrections”, he replied, his smile straightening.

She shook her head. “Okay, I’m… I’d tell you what to do, but I really don’t need to start accumulating new ones when I have still, what, forty to pay back?”

“I’m glad you know your count, Asuka”, Shinji kept smiling. “We can, of course, negotiate–”

The sound of the toilet flushing interrupted the conversation.

“Let’s follow the plan”, Shinji decided. “Talk to you in bed?”

“Oh, inviting yourself already?” she raised her eyebrows.

“It would be stupid to bring Misato to this state without a reason… and you don’t do stupid”, he replied calmly. “Go.”

In Shinji’s eyes, Asuka’s expression was an odd mix between satisfaction and defiance – but to his relief, she just nodded and started collecting dishes.

_‘Was this a victory, an armistice, or did I just messed it up?’_ he pondered for a moment. _‘I’ll find out soon enough’_, he decided. _‘Now, for the escorting duty…’_

***

A soft knocking interrupted Asuka’s frantic preparations. “Are you decent, Asuka? Can I come in?” came a question from behind the door.

“Give me a literal minute”, she demanded. “Is the submarine submerged?” she asked.

There was a long moment of silence from the other side of the door; Asuka used that time to tie up the loose ends of her preparations. “Yes, you should be hearing the engines already”, Shinji finally replied.

Asuka chuckled. “Great”, she took a final look in the mirror. “You can come in”, she called out, still in her low voice.

The door slid open; Shinji Ikari entered and stopped in his tracks; his head that was slowly tilting to its side.

“How do you like it?” Asuka twirled in the spot, showing off a full school uniform. “Submerged or not, close the door… once you’re able to move again”, she grinned.

Several seconds later, he managed to comply. It took him a few seconds more to approach the redhead. “I… I mean… why?”

Asuka’s grin widened. “I promised you something in the classroom… sir”, her voice softened with every word. “Don’t you remember?” she asked sulkily.

Shinji took a few seconds to recall the event. Fortunately for him, he remembered it quite vividly. “That we’d finish it under better circumstances… I remember”, he nodded, his stare curious.

“So… are you willing to play that one again?” Asuka raised her eyebrows with a faux-innocent smile.

“I feel… underdressed”, he admitted. “Should I get my pants?” he gestured vaguely towards his bare legs.

Asuka pondered for a moment, her finger playfully touching her lips. “No”, she decided. “You managed to bring me to my knees with your words while you were dressed about the same”, she elaborated. “I mean, if you really want to, go ahead, but I am going to end up losing this before long…” she gestured to the uniform, “so you’d be **over**dressed then.”

“Fair point”, he smiled, a small blush creeping up his face. “Where do you want me?”

_‘Atop of me, please, and deep inside’_, an entirely unhelpful thought appeared in the redhead’s mind. Asuka caught it and shelved it for later use. “On the bed would be the best, I’ll need the chair”, she suggested.

Shinji nodded and approached the bed; as his steps took him past waiting Asuka, he paused. “Before it becomes… inappropriate due to my function”, his smile widened, “allow me…” he embraced her carefully, one hand on her back, the other on her neck. Surprised Asuka offered no resistance; not that a forewarning would have changed much at this point.

Their lips met. Shinji might not have been the most adept kisser – not that the redhead had many opportunities for comparison – but he was a quick learner, and he certainly started to learn what Asuka enjoyed; this was evidenced by the soft purr she was making as the kiss kept going.

“You… certainly know how to put a girl in the mood”, she whispered huskily after they parted after half an eternity. “Who knew you had it inside you all that time?”

“Certainly not me”, Shinji admitted sheepishly. “Well, we never really know what’s really inside us, right?” he retorted.

_‘You, I hope, soon’_, a voice chimed in with a thought. Asuka intercepted it again and shelved it once more, sighing silently in exasperation. “Took a while to find it, though”, she commented. “And I’m glad you make a good use of that.”

“Anything for you, darling”, he smiled.

“I’m somehow glad you’re not **that** smooth at school. I would have to fight hordes of girls to keep you if you were”, the redhead chuckled.

“I’m sure you’d be victorious every time”, his smile grew warmer. “But I think you’re… overstating my abilities.”

She shook her head. “You’re mine now, don’t you dare diminish your own value”, she demanded. “Now… how much I enjoy kissing you, there will be time for that… and now is the time for you to sit down… and enjoy the show”, she grinned.

“As you wish”, he bowed and released her from his embrace; his hand traced her arm as he squeezed her hand and let go of it reluctantly, leaving her with a tingling skin.

_‘For fuck’s sake, he could just as well put a damn **collar** around my neck and that’d be a good indicator on what’s going on’_, she realized. To her horror, this thought felt perfectly natural. _‘Well, he had me on my knees already. Walking on a leash would not be much of a stretch now, would it? I wonder what would come next… I suppose the logical step would be kissing his–**stop this Shikinami**’_, she chastised herself, realizing that the Vicious Overthinking Engine has seemingly acquired a new program, one that was, for some weird reason, themed _pro-Shinji_ instead of _anti-relationship_. _‘I must’ve blinked…’_

“Asuka? Are you all right?” came in a distant voice.

“I’m… fine”, she lied. “Just… thinking”, she admitted.

“Pretty warm thoughts, judging from your face”, he noticed with a wry smile. “Care to share them?”

Asuka’s blush went a notch up. “Not right now”, she shook her head and focused on Shinji, who found himself in a comfortable position with his back against the headrest in the meantime. “Just an idea or two”, she stated, executing the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver with her usual grace. “I’ll… I’ll share them when we get there”, she promised. “Now… where were we supposed to be… sir?” she smiled as she put her finger on her lips.

“Ah. Yes”, his smile grew meaner. “You are here, Miss Langley, to make good on your promise from earlier”, he started, his voice sterner but somewhat amused. “Remove your uniform… slowly.”

“And what then, sir?” she asked with exaggerated innocence in her voice.

“Then we will see… but if you do not start immediately, it will include a trip over my lap”, Shinji replied, sliding into _just the right_ voice.

Asuka shivered with delight. _‘Yes please, sir’_, she purred internally, very careful not to express it aloud. “As you command, sir”, she replied in a small, soft voice as she reached for the ribbon on her neck.

***

Shinji Ikari knew that he was not going to see anything new this time: he had seen Asuka in her full glory, as she called it, several times already. It has been, of course, like seeing a beautiful sunset for a tenth or a hundredth time – it never got boring or plain. But every time, he reacted in a less panicked and more appropriate way.

Still, the spectacle in front of his eyes was something different: the end result was of course vital, but the way that led to it – that was even more important. Asuka slipped into the role of “Miss Langley” – an entirely improvised but increasingly fleshed-out persona of an unruly schoolgirl that was the target of teacher’s scrutiny – with ease and grace. Grace that made Shinji – automatically put in the role of said teacher – track her movements with delight and anticipation, not to mention with a growing desire to interrupt that striptease, finish the undressing with his own hands, and–

His blush, already considerable, grew and spread to his ears. One of the questions that had been plaguing him for the last few weeks was ‘would I dare to touch her _properly_?’, despite his mind often being reluctant to elaborate on what that ‘properly’ would entail. The answers varied, depending on his current state of mind – but what prompted the question was a strong suspicion that Asuka would most probably not object.

The other question was, of course, ‘would I be able to satisfy her expectations?’ – to which he had no good answer. Having amassed a reasonable theoretical knowledge, he managed to stumble on numerous warnings as well – first and foremost, a note that the first times tended to end up either disappointing or at least average. And, in his book, this was something completely unacceptable – after all, Asuka deserved only the best.

Those worries have been plaguing his mind regularly – but usually ended up gone when he focused on Asuka. Some would say that her beauty and her fire simply banished them; others would claim that his brain, losing part of its blood supply every time Shinji was turning his attention to Asuka, was simply shutting down the non-essential processes. Whatever the reason was, the moment the outer garment had hit the floor, exposing Asuka’s perfect thighs and showing Shinji a glimpse of her panties, his worries were – at least temporarily – gone, quickly displaced by the role he was ascribed for this part of the evening.

***

“I told you that before, and I will tell you that again, Miss Langley”, Shinji suddenly _spoke up_. “Washing clothes takes time and work, and you just drop them on the floor as if they were _rags_. Do you intend to walk over them, too?” he shot her a scolding glare, his tone matching his expression. “That’s a second thing I did not like. You should dearly hope there will be no third, or you **will** end up over my knee before this evening is done”, he finished with a stern expression and a husky voice. He was also quite glad he was not wearing his pants; his erection would have been _painful_.

Asuka shivered at those words. She had expected them, of course; the floor drop was intentional on her part. Still, she did not expect them to sound like that, she did not expect his scolding to be interwoven with a threat of a spanking. She suddenly felt confused.

_‘I want that. I want to be laid over his lap and have my bottom warmed with those nice hands of his’_, she admitted freely, no longer feeling any surprise over such a thought. _‘But I’m also **afraid** that it would happen’_, she kept picturing it to herself. _‘Fuck, I **do** feel like a scolded schoolgirl, and I’m actually **fearing** that spanking’_, she realized, half-amused, half-worried as she bent down to pick the discarded dress up. _‘And the worst thing is that I like it this way… I **like** that fear. It’s like… it’s a lovely spice in that dish’,_ she continued that line of thought as she folded it carefully and put in on the chair. _‘Well, I’m fucked in the head, no doubt here’_, she shrugged internally. _‘Let’s not mess up the show because of that, shall we?’_ she finally decided as she turned back to him and reached for the hems of her blouse.

***

Shinji was confused by his own words. He spoke them, all right, there was no doubt about it. He even knew what logic shaped them. But despite that, those words still sounded odd to him. He was threatening the person that was closest to him with physical – and mental, as a spanking clearly had an emotional impact on her – violence for a misstep in something she was willingly doing for him.

On the other hand, he knew perfectly that she was going to enjoy that violence, that she was going to be pleased – or perhaps even delighted – by the emotional component, and that the second misstep had to be intentional – as he had warned her about that the last time.

Fortunately for him, this conflict was on the list of the processes his brain was shunting away with increasing speed to free up the capacity for important things – like admiring Asuka’s perfect skin, currently emerging from underneath her uniform blouse.

***

For Asuka, removing the blouse was just a step on the way – but an important step, one bringing her to the point when she stopped the previous time, the point she made a promise at.

A promise she intended to keep. She folded the blouse quickly and put it atop the uniform dress, leaving her only in her bra, her panties, and her socks. She took a deep breath and pulled her hands back to reach for the clasp of her bra. Before she could unhook it, a sudden smirk appeared on her lips. _‘He wants is “slowly”, in other words, he wants is “sexy”, even if he didn’t say it. Let’s see how much he can stand…’_

Pulling her hands away from the clasp, she slowly reached for the strap on her arm. Her smirk widened as she noticed his unblinking eyes tracking her movements. _‘I bet a marching band crossing the room would not distract him now…’_ she noticed with satisfaction.

The first strap slid off smoothly; the other one just a bit more of a challenge; quickly enough, she was running her fingers on the bottom line of her bra while moving her hands to her back. With a wry smile, she turned his back to him as her hands finally unclasped the bra; she removed it and carefully, navigating only by what she could see in the corner of her eye, placed it atop the pile of clothes that was resting on the chair.

As she turned back to face him, her arms crossed on her chest, her hands on her shoulders, she heard him swallow. _‘Am I not overdoing it a bit?’_ she pondered for a moment. _‘No’_, she quickly decided. _‘He asked for it. He can stop me anytime… he knows the word’._

***

Obviously, stopping Asuka was quite low on Shinji’s list of current priorities. Atop of that list was ‘avoid exploding, nosebleeding, or having a premature orgasm on the incredibly sexy sight in front of him’, the second position was ‘avoiding making too much sound, lest their guardian wakes up’, and the third was ‘staying in role’.

The first one was generally passive and was, for the time being, covered; his blood pressure might have been high, but not anywhere near a dangerous level. The second required, at least for now, keeping his voice low; this was easy. The third, though, required attention; therefore, he focused on it.

“Keep going… Miss Langley”, he commanded, his _tone_ stern and his stomach tumbling. “You’re doing just fine… for such an unruly girl.”

***

Asuka’s lips formed a barely constrained smile. This mixed compliment-and-scolding felt like a caress. _‘Let’s see if I’m right…’_ she decided. “Sir… permission to keep the panties on?” she pleaded with her head low, her glare fixated on the floor, her voice unsure.

***

Shinji raised an eyebrow. This was something new; as usual in such situations, his first reflex was to retreat from the scene; he squashed that reaction immediately. This allowed his brain to kick off a quick analysis: there was clearly no safeword in that request, it was done in the ‘schoolgirl’ voice, and it was completely unlike Asuka’s act-first-ask-later-if-at-all attitude he managed to dent only recently. The conclusion was simple: this had to be an act of defiance he was supposed to counter.

“Permission denied, Miss Langley. You were supposed to undress completely”, he _reminded_ her. “So, please move those hands from your… breast and remove your panties”, he ordered with a minimally cracking voice. His heart was racing and his stomach was in a knot; this situation was not just outside his comfort zone – it felt like leaving the comfort zone without a map, finding an edge of a platform it was on, and jumping into the dark waters with a hope that he would find a beacon of salvation before he drowned.

But for some reason, he was quite sure the beacon would be waiting for him. He even knew what color it would be.

Taking a deep breath, he finished: “Or I will have you over my knee… and I will remove them myself.”

***

Asuka forced down a grin. _‘Ooh, is this Christmas already?’_ she purred internally. Outwardly, she took a deep breath and kept her head low. “Sir, please, don’t”, she pleaded. The confusing, but also unexpectedly pleasant mix of feelings remained: the fear he would force her to expose herself, the hope he would make her, the odd feeling of helplessness, the awareness of the power she had to end it all in a moment, the perfect clarity that she was never going to use it, the desire to be forcibly stripped of that last barrier – all this burned inside of her, making her hot, nervous, and increasingly aroused.

“I’m afraid you’re leaving me no choice… Miss Langley”, he _stated_ calmly. “Look at me”, he requested.

She raised her head and focused her eyes on him. She did not notice when he moved from sitting cross-legged at the bedhead to taking a seat on the edge, with his legs down. She shivered. She knew what was coming next.

He patted the mattress next to him. “Come here, Miss Langley”_, _he _commanded_. “Your face here, your legs here”, he patted the mattress on the other side, “and your unruly bottom”, he continued with a mean smile, “here”, he patted his thigh.

Asuka closed her eyes; her stomach was currently enduring a Great Butterfly Migration and her mind was a site of another battle. One side, composed of forces of reason, social norms, and dignity, were camping under the banner of ‘Blau Alert’, urging her to stop this madness. The other side, composed of forces of desire, the need to be appreciated, and a sense of adventure, were marching under the banner of ‘Go! For! It!’ surrounded by hearts and other symbols of affection, urging her to continue. They seemed evenly matched, but there was a small difference between them: the side of affection was on the move, while the side of dignity was quite insufficiently entrenched, her grounds undermined by the sabotaging forces of lust and immediate, indisputable arousal.

The battle was decided before it even started. Asuka, her arms still covering her breasts until the last possible moment, took the few steps separating her from her fate and lied down exactly as directed. She felt her hips against his thigh and was quite aware of how accessible it made her bottom. She could also feel his erection against her stomach; this gave her a modicum of comfort. _‘I’m not the only pervert in the room. He’s turned on by this just as much as I am. He enjoys it just as much as I do. He’s just like me, and we’re in this together. It’s good to share some hobbies in the relationship, right?’_ she giggled.

“Do you find this situation amusing, Miss Langley?” she heard a chastising voice over her head. Her stomach knotted again.

“No, sir”, her voice was shaky.

“Good”, he continued. “Because it became quite serious for you right now. I was hoping to avoid this”, he lied, “but it seems you need further corrections due to your disobedience. Do you have anything to say before I start?”

“No, sir”, she repeated, her voice a tad firmer.

“Nothing?” he raised an eyebrow. “Not even ‘I’m sorry’?”

_‘That’s your line… sir’_, a thought appeared in her mind; she managed to intercept it. _‘And can we get to the spanking, please? This is killing me!’_ she rubbed her thighs together as discreetly as she could; the nerves fired up as expected, making her let out a small moan.

***

Shinji’s blush, somehow subsided, returned. He was perfectly aware of his arousal being obvious to Asuka, and he could very well guess her condition. The atmosphere in the room was so charged that he was actually surprised things did not start to move on their own or start crackling with static electricity. He was actually worried that he would break the mood the moment he would start the spanking. Still, he found it all strangely pleasant. _‘Is this the famous “Living on the edge”? And even if not… since when do I enjoy such mood?’_ he pondered before turning his eyes to the obvious answer. _‘Since a lot of things rubbed off from her onto me. Let’s not ruin the moment, then…’_

“I’ll… I’ll take it as a ‘no’”, Shinji’s voice broke just for a moment. “Now, be a good girl and take your punishment.”

“Yes, sir”, Asuka purred. “Please, make me into the good girl you wish me to be”, the words left her lips without much of a conscious effort or filtering. “I don’t know if I deserve your care, but I’m sure I want it”, she kept purring. “And I **need** it”, she added in a whisper.

The hand that was resting on her neck went to touch her face, and the hand that was about to strike her bottom patted her head. “You deserve it… Miss Langley”, Shinji replied in a warmer voice. His hand went in one unbroken move from her head, along her spine, only to rest on her bottom. Her whole body tensed and shook.

“Asuka?” Shinji asked, suddenly worried.

“I’m fine”, she forced out. “Just… please, **stop** teasing and **do** it”, she demanded in a husky voice.

“As you wish”, he smiled and raised his hand.

***

The over-the-knee spanking, rare as it was in comparison to serious beatings Asuka received from Shinji, always carried a very different feeling with it. Never really painful in its softness, it seemed to skip many of the steps of propagation and go directly to two most important receivers: her brain and her nether parts. At both points, they contributed to her arousal – as if it was needed any further in this very case – but in her head, it had an additional effect.

The blows started coming, soft at first, amplified only by the tenderness of her recently spanked skin, but cushioned by the still-present panties. The awareness of the situation slowly flooded her brain as the sensations mounted.

She was an elite pilot. The best of the best, one of the few – literally numbered in single digits – people who could make the world shake with a step of the ultimate war machine. She was an officer at age of fourteen, a college graduate, a war veteran. She was a proud, defiant woman who never took bullshit from anyone and was always willing to fight for her position.

And, currently, she was spread across the lap of a boy, minimally older than she was, a boy who might have been an elite pilot as well – but lacked most of the other qualities she indisputably had. A boy who, several months ago, was so meek and unassuming that he was perfectly fine with being treated as a doormat, an outlet for her frustrations and anger. And now, that boy was delivering swats on her perfect bottom, one by one, speaking some words in a soft but scolding voice, words about ‘unruliness’, ‘anger issues’, ‘bad conduct’, and other flaws she accused her of having.

And she was perfectly fine with that.

No, more than fine: she was **happy** with that.

And she wanted it to last forever.

_‘Is this what it means to be “broken by someone”? If so, it doesn’t feel so scary as I imagined it to be…’_

“I’m taking your panties off now, Miss Langley”, a voice managed to pierce her reverie and turn her ears red in a second. “No amount of defiance is going to save you from your deserved corrections.”

_‘I don’t want to be saved’_, she smiled a wide smile as she reflexively lifted her hips to make the removal easy. _‘How do you save someone from themselves?’_

“I see you accepted your fate, Miss Langley”, the voice returned. “Ready for the next part?”

She just nodded, finding no proper words – or perhaps unable to speak anymore. A moment later the first blow on her bare skin fell; his voice joined in soon enough, immersing her in her perfect bliss, extending a moment to half of eternity.

***

“Where is Mephistopheles when you need him?” Asuka whispered as she clung to Shinji with all her body.

The spanking was long over; at some point, Shinji simply declared them to be done, then ordered her to stand up and present her bottom for inspection. When she did without a hint of hesitation, he wondered loudly whether he should send her to a corner, then decided with an increasingly amused voice that moping the floor would be a pain – and addressed her as Asuka, smiling at her and directing her to sit on his lap. About a second later, he was locked in a legs-and-arms embrace by a virtually nude, perfectly unashamed, and extremely hug-hungry redhead.

They remained like this ever since, in silence that was broken just now by Asuka’s whisper.

“Asuka?” Shinji replied carefully. “Sorry, I don’t–”

“The devil from Faust”, she explained, her voice lazy. “The one you tell that this is the perfect moment and you want it to last forever, you know?” she pulled away enough to see his face, ignoring how wet her own was; she was past such concerns. “Verweile doch! Du bist so schön!” she recited.

“Ah. I think it’s somewhere in the school curriculum, but my guess would be high school. Feeling up to add it to my education earlier than that?” Shinji queried with a smile.

“If we ever have too much time, why not”, she chuckled. “But aside from a few catchy quotes and a funny moment or two, it’s more a philosophical treatise than anything else. Surely worth a read – but in original German only”, she stipulated.

“Oh. That… puts it out of my reach… for a while”, he concluded. “So… you want to keep this moment forever because you think it’s our last time like this?” he changed the subject, his voice becoming worried.

“God, I hope not”, she scoffed. “I intend to provoke you for this kind of brutality towards me, an innocent maiden, regularly”, her expression turned into a grin.

Shinji raised an eyebrow. “Asuka…” he started, his blush growing. “You’re about as innocent as I am, well, fluent in German”, he stated in a mocking tone. “I can, well…” he trailed off.

“Say it”, she demanded. “Say it. Tell me”, she repeated, her voice insistent. _‘Tell me what an outrageous wanton I am, call me that. Give me a reason’_, she glared at him._ ‘Please.’_

“I can smell your…” he hesitated. “I can smell **you**. I… I didn’t know it could get so intense”, he admitted.

“Your and my doing, Shinji dear”, she kept grinning despite her luminescent blush. “And now… Would you be willing to… help me with that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only half of the night I planned to describe. I apologize for the semi-cliffhanger: I was considering publishing it as a single chapter, but that would mean delaying it a few days and making this chapter disproportionally long. And so, I decided to split it in half and finish the other half next week. But this means I have more content to publish sooner – and as a result, the next chapter is going to be up in five days instead of the usual seven. We’ll see if I manage to maintain this tempo for the rest of the run.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still on the lemony side. I suppose everyone is used to that by now.

_ A few seconds later _

During her relatively short life, Asuka Langley Shikinami saw numerous impressions that could easily be titled ‘deer in the headlights’. Most of them were a result of someone suddenly learning that the ‘little girl’, ‘young woman’ – or even ‘fair maiden’ in a few rare cases – they were admonishing or shooing away from a high-security area was actually a commissioned officer that had a higher clearance than the person in question and piloted a heavy war machine they were not even allowed to see, let alone enter. Nowadays, many of such looks were a result of her delivering a particularly scathing remark towards a boy that went too far in his advances or a girl who presumed to be friends with her. Beholding this kind of reaction had always been a reason for great amusement for Asuka, a confirmation of her superiority and a reward for putting up with idiots of this world.

This time, though, the impression of the deer was done by Shinji Ikari, a person that was her ally, a fellow combatant, and, last but not least, her boyfriend. It was also a result of her asking an innocent question. Of course, the question was innocent only in the context of the situation they were in right now.

Still, despite the entire context being completely different and the person doing the impression was not a victim but someone she cared about, Asuka could not help but find his reaction hilarious. Of course, letting him know that would be disastrous. Therefore, a hitherto relatively relaxed – if emotionally charged – situation has suddenly become an exercise in willpower. Fortunately for Asuka, she was quite motivated to endure. _‘Assuming my darling would not take too long to decide…’_ she realized with a hint of worry.

***

Shinji pondered his options. There were remarkably few, considering that ‘run away’ was taken off the list a while ago as foolish, unproductive, and problem-creating instead of problem-solving.

For a short moment, it seemed that his options were ‘Yes’, ‘Blau’, or ‘Tell me more…’ – making him feel like playing some old adventure game. The middle option was rejected outright – ruining the mood right now would be tantamount to a crime. Asking to explain felt stupid; while Asuka had shown surprising restrain in calling him stupid – and various synonyms to that – recently, it still happened, and it still stung. He did not consider himself a genius – but being called an idiot was never pleasant. Even if it often felt correct: after all, in comparison to Asuka, he was not exactly smart or particularly competent.

He shook that thought off. By elimination, only one option remained. The past him would meander, wrap the decision in nice words, and refuse to state anything outright, he already knew this tactic was inviting trouble – especially with Asuka.

***

“Anything for you”, he finally spoke, with an uneasy smile emerging shortly after the shock on his face cleared; Asuka let out a breath she did not know she was holding. “Just…” he paused short of asking ‘how?’ – he knew the theory well enough… but putting it in practice – even on someone who seemed to be **heavily** in the mood – felt like operating a live explosive that never had a manual and was built by someone unhinged. Which was, truth be told, a very good description of Asuka most of the time.

“Is that a doubt I see?” she eyed him carefully, the relief in her voice quickly fading. “Having second thoughts?”

He shook his head. “No, I just… I…” he paused, the embarrassment in his voice growing. “I’m not sure where to start”, he admitted, somehow managing to blush even further.

Asuka remembered one of the axioms listed in the list of advice she worked with and murdered her first reaction immediately: she squished the giggle. “Leave the details to me”, she suggested as she focused on him with a wry smile; taking a good look at the surroundings – with special attention given to the bed – she asked the question that has become somewhat routine between them: “Do you trust me?”

“With my life?” he confirmed with the routine answer.

“‘With my limbs’ would be enough for now”, she grinned as she wiggled away from his lap. A small brush of her pussy against the skin of his thigh made her let out a small moan. _‘Okay, this will be a **very** quick one’_, she realized with some embarrassment. _‘Hm, I wonder if I can make it a double…’_ her grin widened as she realized the opportunities. “Okay”, she stretched, causing Shinji’s eyes to focus on her again. “Lie down, length-wise”, she directed. “Comfortably… and take the shirt off”, she added.

Shinji raised an eyebrow in response.

“Do you want me to beg or undress you myself?” Asuka asked, an odd mix of annoyance and hope evident in her voice.

For a short second, Shinji’s expression was inscrutable; Asuka shot him a worried stare. _‘What is going on in that brain of yours?’_ she wondered before she saw him shake his head and pull the shirt over his head. Of course, true to his nature, he folded it and put it atop of Asuka’s clothes on the chair. She chuckled at that sight before looking at him expectantly. He took the hint and returned to bed swiftly, now only in his briefs.

Following him, she moved to loom over him, resting her weight on her knees, one of them aside, the other between his legs. She inched her knee forward, careful not to ruin this pleasant evening with a misplaced kick; causing an interlude of pain to someone who was unlikely to enjoy it would certainly sour the mood. _‘I wonder if I would enjoy something like that as a punishment if I had the right anatomy…’_, she pondered for a moment. _‘Hm, probably not. I would not enjoy a pussy kick for sure, and I suppose the balls are even more sensitive’_, she concluded the side-tracking reasoning.

“We keep going until one of us says the word, okay?” she refocused his attention to Shinji as she leaned over him; he replied with a nod. “Would you…” she tried to formulate a request before deciding deeds were better than words in this context – and leading one of his hands to her breast; he nodded with a smile, cupping it carefully and starting with a soft caress. Asuka bit her lip. “Keep going”, she requested.

He obliged her, his move delicate and careful – but certainly not lacking in willingness.

A dangerous thought appeared in her mind. _‘I’d love to fuck him right now. Just… move over and ride him’_, she realized._ ‘But… not today. It’s just too dangerous, too high a risk he’d blow immediately, and I’m not having that. This is… this is…’_ she paused the train of thought when his caresses brushed over her nipple. _‘This is fine. Quite fine. He knows how to tease, that’s for sure, consciously or not, I don’t care. And if I don’t come today, soon, I’ll go crazy, so let’s go with the tried and trusted methods. I’ll take care of him later… I guess it’s not just a penny or a pound. Not anymo-aaah’_ the train of thoughts she was delaying her action with was suddenly completely derailed when Shinji decided to let his hand wander away from the soft caresses of her breast, slide along her side and hip, back to the tender skin of her buttocks – while the other hand followed the symmetrical path in reverse. She looked down and saw him smile at her – with a hint of a smirk.

_ ‘Ooooh. Two can play that game…'  _ she grinned and moved one of her hands from a supporting role to caress his chest. Never one willing to be subtle, she went straight to using her nails. He shuddered and let out a soft gasp; his hand movements intensified in response as well.

A few seconds later he felt Asuka’s body shift; he felt three sensations at the same time: her wetness on his thigh, the soft touch of her skin on her chest, and her lips on his own. The kiss stifled the moan that he was about to release.

***

“I…” Shinji hesitated. “I don’t know if I can–” he cut himself off when he saw Asuka close her eyes and gasp as she moved against his thigh.

“Trust me” she smirked. “Just… keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll be purring in no time. And don’t worry, I already promised you, right? I won’t leave you… standing”, her smirk turned to a grin.

He just nodded and kept his attention on every part of the redhead’s body that was in his range. Asuka closed her eyes and started moving her hips against his skin. _‘Let’s just hope Misato is properly underwater…’_ was her last coherent thought before the pleasure started building up just as she expected it to: quickly and intensely.

Fortunately for her, Shinji was very far from stopping. He tensed his muscles, pressing his thigh against Asuka’s wetness; his hands were trailing lines along her back, only for one of them to tangle in her hair. A loud gasp told him it was the right call; the movements of her hips just sped up.

It took Asuka very little to reach the point of no return. “Don’t you dare stop now”, she demanded in a gasping voice, the pressure she exerted on his thigh growing with every slide; a few seconds later, Shinji found himself in a vice-like grip, pulled to her as her body shook; for a short moment, he was worried that his bone would snap. _‘I wonder how I’d explain that to Misato…’_ a random, amused thought appeared in his mind, quickly getting lost in the sensations that surrounded him; his attention refocused on Asuka, one of his hand entangled in her hair and the other moving along with increasingly frantic movements of her entire body.

In less than a minute, Shinji found himself under a very sweaty and heavily grinning girl. “You’re a great…” she trailed off, unable to finish a sentence. “I just…” she tried again. “Fuck, that was intense”, the grin kept widening. “Keep doing that to me, and I will be a happy woman… forever”, she continued in a dreamy voice. He noticed she did not stop the movements of her hips against his thigh; they just got slower, lazier, more leisurely.

“I-I can try”, he spoke up. “I will try. But now, I-I need a break”, Shinji remarked his voice on a verge of panic.

“Is this a… hygienic need or a sexual need?” Asuka asked, her voice still dreamy.

“S-sexual?” he admitted, his voice shaky.

Asuka’s grin – as impossible as it was already – widened even more as she jumped up. In a sudden movement, she pinned him to the bed, blocking his arms. With her full weight on one of his legs, this immobilized him quite effectively. “You’re not going anywhere”, she purred.

“Asuka? Wha-what are you doing?” his voice was panicked.

“Repaying the favor, what do you think, stupid?” she looked at him, her whole body slowly sliding down before finally her hips lifted from his leg and she stepped up to sit on both of his legs. He could not fail to notice that right now, her head was hovering just above the bulge in his dark briefs.

“But I didn’t–” he protested in a panicked voice as and her hand let go of one of his arms and rested at their hem of his underwear.

“Didn’t go anywhere near my pussy with your mouth?” she raised her eyebrow, a mocking grin on her lips. “Well, that is correct, you did not. But I **liked** what you did before, and I liked what you did with your hands when I enjoyed your body, and **I** want to do **this**”, she declared. “So… either speak the word… or let me do as I will. What will it be, darling?” the grin remained wide, presenting disturbingly many of her teeth.

“I…” he took a deep breath, trying his best not to panic. “Are you sure?”

“Ask me again, and I will be feasting on your **blood**, darling”, she hissed; Shinji was almost sure it was a joke; he quickly decided that testing it would be unwise.

He took a deep breath. “Please”, he managed. She raised her eyebrow in reply, her grin still in full force. He pondered his reply for a moment before his voice returned to the _desired_, if imperfect, state: “You may… continue, Asuka”.

“Almost. I’ll take it, though” she purred with a hint of amusement. _‘But next time, I’ll have to goad him to do more… but that’s next time’_, she decided. “And now, to the task at hand…" she refocused on him and kept grinning as she slowly put the briefs down; he did his best to assist her until they went somewhere, discarded and forgotten. Asuka turned her attention to the issue standing before her.

***

Asuka was generally prepared for what she was supposed to see – after all, she had a lot of access to the educational and not-so-educational-but-surely-fun-to-absorb material. She was also more-or-less aware of the size to expect – and that was ‘definitely below what I saw in porn’. But contrary to her confident demeanor, she had very little idea what **exactly** she was supposed to do; in other words, her knowledge, while extensive, was completely theoretical.

Not that this was going to stop her: _‘His knowledge of spanking was purely theoretical, or even non-existent before I gave him the sources, but he didn’t back down. Fuck that, he’ll tell me if I do something wrong, and from what I know about boys his age, he’s likely to cum just from a single touch’_, she giggled internally, masking her nervousness. She also remembered one vital piece of advice, one she already followed today: ‘**do not** laugh, at any point, or it all ends suddenly and horribly’; she was not sure _why_, but as the rest of the pieces of advice were sound, she accepted this one too.

Taking a deep breath, she started to carefully move from theory to practice.

***

_ ‘Use your lips, use your tongue, avoid using the teeth, stimulate the sensitive spots, simulate the movements inside the pussy–’ _

She paused as she tried to calm her mind. There was a strong voice telling her to follow the initial instinct, to stop playing around, slide up, match her hips with his, and just ride him until he climaxed. She did her best to squash that voice – _‘One thing at a time. I **want** to taste him; I am** going to **taste him. There will be a time for… coitus’_, she forced herself to use the technical term in a vain attempt to push the image of riding him away. Obviously, it did little good. _‘I don’t know what I expected’_, a free part of her mind realized, _‘I am here, his cock in my mouth, his very taste on my tongue’_, she paused to purr, _‘and I try to push images of **him** fucking **me** out of my mind. Good luck, slut’_, she chastised herself. _‘One fuck at a time, Shikinami, one fuck at a time… make him come, taste him all the way, confirm how much a slut you are – and **then** move forward_’, she collected herself, ignoring for the moment the heat that was reforming between her legs.

As her tongue darted around and her lips were doing their up-and-down movements, eliciting delicious, if clearly subdued and random gasps from Shinji, she considered moving further for a short moment – but a picture of her gagging, with Shinji suddenly worried and rushing to her help entered her mind, along with the awareness of how mood-ruining it would be. _‘One fuck at a time’_, she repeated to herself. _‘A time will come when he’ll be close to losing consciousness from my ministrations. And, I hope, the other way around as well’_, she grinned internally. _‘But now… let’s focus on driving him crazy in a… controlled way.’_

***

Shinji Ikari was no stranger to pleasure. Like most adolescent boys, he discovered the workings of his body pretty early and while the opportunities to indulge in them have been limited due to his living arrangements, he did what he could to explore that venue. It was never central to his life, though – just another need, one taken care of discreetly and as privately as possible.

In recent times, though, the frequency of his ministrations and the intensity of resulting orgasms has been steadily increasing: to say that Asuka’s presence has been stimulating would be a heavy understatement. The nearly constant contact at night, the occasional handholding, not to mention recent development into kisses and increasingly brazen, outright sex-like activity – all this was constantly on his mind.

The ambiguous attitude he held towards inflicting pain on her was also slowly but steadily shifting towards ‘she enjoys it, it makes her happy, and it makes her look unbelievably hot’ only added to the stimulation. He was quite aware that if not for the routine he managed to establish before, a reasonable studying discipline, and a regular relief in the privacy of the bathroom, he would have serious problems with getting on with his life under current circumstances.

Of course, all this was merely an afterthought at this very moment. A moment in which the girl of his dreams, the most beautiful human being in existence, not to mention his own girlfriend, was doing her best to make him orgasm here and now.

The sensation was quite different from the experiences he accumulated on his own: first and foremost, it was far, far softer, subtler – as much as Asuka was aggressive, she did not apply much pressure, nor was she particularly forceful. She was also rather chaotic in her ministrations – staying in one spot for a few seconds before moving to another was pleasant, but also tantalizing: he could sense his climax approaching, but it constantly remained just a few seconds of stronger stimulation away.

_ ‘Is that her revenge for all the pain I caused her?’ _ he wondered for a moment. _‘No, impossible, she **wanted** all this… she’s toying with me because she **can**… but I must trust her she knows what she is doing.’_

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami was a little bit confused, not to mention – increasingly worried. According to the sources she considered reliable, under this level of stimulation the target of her ministrations should be already writhing and shaking in orgasmic throes. And writhing and shaking he was, but without the ‘orgasmic’ part – putting her in a bit of a dilemma. On one hand, she might be doing something wrong – but on the other, stopping and asking – even ignoring the issues of pride and whole I-am-a-genius demeanor – would likely make things even worse. At the same time, letting her mind wander off to recall the needed information would likely affect her performance. A quick analysis allowed her to decide on a somewhat compromise solution: she settled into a routine and freed a part of her mind to try to recall what her sources of advice told her.

About twenty seconds later, she had a short list of tricks she could try pulled from her memory – and this was the moment when a sudden growth surprised her, along with a feeling of tensing muscles of the body underneath her and a groaning voice: “A-Asuka, I’m–”

Her eyes lit up as they locked with his; for a short moment, she thought about pulling out, taking no further chances – but the old _‘In for a penny…’_ reasoning prevailed, along with a dangerous, but encouraging _‘what’s the worst that can happen?’ _– she closed her lips around the shaft, kept her tongue going – and braced for impact.

***

“Hey, Shinji”, Asuka stretched over her boyfriend’s relaxed body.

“Mm?” was the most coherent thought he was able to provide.

“Does my smile really look like _‘of the cat that just ate a canary’_?” she asked, speaking the idiom in English.

“More like _‘a cat that ate a bowl of cream_’_”_, he replied in kind and blushed even more when he realized the subtext.

“Gotcha”, she grinned and lied down next to him, snuggling to his side. The sensation of the first full skin-to-skin contact they ever had was unexpectedly intense and tremendously pleasant. “And how did it feel?” she asked, her voice warm, with a note of uncertainty creeping in.

“Heavenly?” he replied with a stupid grin on his face, uncertain if he could find proper words.

She raised her eyebrows. “Okay, now be honest”, she started in a serious voice. “I am without a doubt the best Pilot out there, but this was my first… well. Attempt. On… well, oral”, she managed not to stutter too much. “So I need an honest evaluation here.”

Shinji’s expression was somehow exasperated – as much as exasperation could pierce the veil of the overwhelming bliss. “Asuka… this was my first, too… And… I don’t exactly have a comparison?” he tried, his voice uncertain. “It felt… wonderful, but… but your touch always feels that way”, he smiled sheepishly, eliciting a further blush from her. “I… I only wished you wouldn’t toy with me so much… but I understand why you did.”

“Toy?” she asked as she rose and propped herself with her elbow to look him in the eye. “I was not toying with you. Where did you get the idea?”

“You kept me on edge for… like, forever?” he explained.

“Oh”, she looked away. “So… if I did the last thing in the beginning…”

“…it would’ve been far, far shorter. I don’t know about the intensity, though”, he explained.

“Hm”, Asuka’s face was thoughtful. “I need to read up on that”, she decided. “You know what that means, though?” she suddenly asked with a growing grin.

Shinji’s brow furrowed. “I’m leaving now, and you’re returning to your notes?”

“No, my dear idiot”, she rolled her eyes. “That once I worked on the theory at some spare moment soon, I’m coming for you for the practice”, she grinned. Before he could answer, Asuka’s lips descended on his own, his lips got caught in her teeth, her body ground against his.

Suddenly, Asuka’s body tensed and detached from him; eyes grew wide. “Oh fuck”, she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, I forgot–”

He titled his head. “Asuka?”

She was already half-way off the bed, muttering apologies; aware that something was wrong but unable to tell what it was, he reflexively reached and grabbed her wrist. Feeling her attempts to get away, he instinctively used something stronger than just a grip: he _spoke up_.

“Asuka, stop!” to his surprise, he managed to yell in a whisper.

She obeyed, to the surprise of both of them.

“Asuka, come back”, he kept going as he sat up, his _voice_ concerned but determined. “Sit down and explain.”

She obeyed again; as she turned, he realized her face and ears were red; she knelt next to the bed.

“I just kissed you”, she stated.

“Yes”, he confirmed the obvious fact. “And? It’s your right, and–”

“But I just–” the words ‘gave you a blowjob’ could not pass through her lips. _‘Ironic, isn’t it? He did, the description can’t…’_ a part of her got annoyed. “I just… I think I should brush my teeth”, she tried in a roundabout way.

Shinji chuckled. “It’s not that many calories, right? Although there is some sugar, if I remember correctly…” he pondered for a moment.

Asuka tilted her head. “Are you doing this on purpose?” she asked, unable to discern his intent.

He smiled. “I’m trying to tell you I don’t mind”, he explained. “I mean… We did kiss on a morning breath, right?”

Asuka rolled her eyes, but the relief on her face was clear. “Right. But… are you sure?”

“Asuka… trust me?” he pleaded.

She nodded. “I do. But still”, she looked at the vice-like grip of his hand on her forearm. “I still want to brush my teeth. I can’t sleep if there’s any taste there.”

“As you wish”, he smiled, letting go of her hand.

***

“What do you think you’re doing?” Asuka asked as she returned to her room.

“Getting my underwear?” he explained as he lifted a dark article of clothing lying on the floor. “You… threw it rather forcefully in a random direction”, he elaborated with a smile.

“It was in my way”, she shrugged. “I sure hope you don’t intend to wear it tonight, thought”, she added, her face serious.

The boy tilted his head. “Erm… I was planning to?”

“Don’t”, she demanded. “Since I managed to tear it off you, I want all of you, all of your skin on me tonight. And in the future, too. Can I have that… sir?” she finished with a softer voice and a gleam in her eye.

“Are you sure? What if I…” he vaguely gestured downwards.

“Get hard and poke me?” she chuckled. “Then, darling, I’m going to wiggle against you to amplify the effect… and then I’m going to enjoy the pressure.”

“I mean… make… well…” his blush returned, “make a mess?”

“Ah. That”, Asuka looked aside. “First, don’t worry. **You** wash the sheets, so nobody’s going to know but us. Second, it’s a compliment, remember?” she smiled as her gaze returned to him. “Third… Doesn’t this only happen when you get horny and then don’t get a proper release?” she finished with a question.

“Usually, yes?” he confirmed.

“Then we just have to make sure such circumstances won’t occur”, she shrugged again, her smile widening.

“What–ah”, his blush increased. “Asuka, are you sure–”

“Trust me, okay?” she smiled again. “Or is there some other doubt of yours I can smash before you agree to my indecent suggestion?”

Shinji looked aside. “If… it happens… isn’t there a risk you’d… catch?”

“Catch?” she tilted her head.

“Um… get pregnant?” he explained in a small voice.

“God, no”, she shook her head, her voice half terrified, half amused. “No way. First, I suppose we didn’t have this in our biology class, so let me explain”, she assumed a more clinical tone. “A risk of insemination without penetration is minimal. Yes, I know, survivability up to twenty-four hours, stories about a girl impregnated in a swimming pool – but believe me, no. It is not **impossible**, granted, but it’s extremely improbable”, she kept explaining. “Second, I’ve got a full-on hormonal implant. I couldn’t get pregnant if I wanted to. Have you ever noticed any blood on my underwear, or anywhere?”

Shinji pondered for a moment, his expression showing a minor discomfort. “No, but I just thought you were… tidy with it.”

Asuka raised her eyebrow. “No matter how tidy you are, things happen. No, I just don’t have this issue. It’s a longer story, but the gist of it is – they’d have to rip it out of me and then, and only then, after a month or two, I’m becoming anyhow… fertile”, her eye twitched as she spoke the word. “So… don’t worry. What’s your answer now… Shinji?”

“I do have a few questions, but that’s for later”, he admitted. “Thank you, Asuka… By all means then… Miss Langley”, he smiled a lop-sided smile.

Asuka took a deep breath. “Be careful not to call me like that when Misato’s around” she grinned. “It might give us away, or at least make her ask stupid questions. But let us worry about that once it’s actually an issue, shall we? So… drop those where you’ll be able to find them in the morning and let’s go to sleep.”

“As you wish”, Shinji agreed with a smile.

***

The lights were out, and Asuka seemed to be asleep. Her was body snuggled to his side and one of her legs was resting on his own. But Shinji Ikari was far from being able to sleep, and not just because Asuka’s leg being prone to move and tease him.

He was ponderings over the events of the evening – and not just the amazing time he had.

_ ‘Don’t let her end up as I did’ _ , Misato said to him in her drunken haze. _‘Don’t let her end up alone. She’s worth the world’_, her words sounded in his mind.

_ ‘I… wasn’t aware Misato was so lonely. She always cared for us… she even called us “cute together”’ _ , he recalled. _‘She wants us to be happy, that’s for sure. But… how we explain **this** to her?’_ he pondered, looking at the naked form of sleeping Asuka, clinging to his own, equally nude body. _‘We tried to decide… plan… but there’s still nothing’_, he shook his head, unable to draw conclusions. _‘But she’s right. Asuka’s worth the world. And I won’t leave her’_, he smiled again, lifted his body a bit, and shifted down to kiss his girlfriend’s forehead.

***

The lights were out, and Shinji seemed to be asleep. His arms and chest were forming a comfortable pillow and his legs were providing convenient support. But Asuka Langley Shikinami was far from being able to sleep, and not only due to the soft pressure of his thigh against her somewhat sore nether parts.

She was pondering over the events of the evening, uncertain what to do next.

_ ‘God, this was crazy’ _ , she reiterated the events of the night. _‘But finally, I put my claim on him properly, a reasonable compromise between just handholding and fucking like rabbits. Also, he knows of the implant, so he’s free to make moves on me’_, she smiled to herself before realizing that him taking the initiative in that area was about as likely as her becoming Major General of NERV before Misato. _‘Oh, well. I’ll worry about that when the time comes. Right now… I’m going to strive to be the best – it’s something I have a great experience in’_, she grinned internally. _‘There’s always the issue of Misato, thought’_, she pondered. _‘“Cute together”, right… okay, she was drunk as a lord at that moment, but still, I wonder whether she suspects something?’_ her thoughts filled with worry. _‘No, impossible. She’d be more watchful, right now she leaves us for extended hours on our own when she’s working overtime, even if she knows we’re home alone. But I guess an evening or two of “acting normal” would cement that image… hm’_, her internal grin slowly became external as she formulated a flawless, if simple, plan. _‘But – one thing at a time. Now… now I have a boy at hand, and by God, I’m going to enjoy that prize’_, she decided and suddenly shifted up to kiss his face.

***

Two heads, suddenly moving, bumped into each other. Two simultaneous ‘ow!’s were followed with some silent grumbling, followed by an annoyed “What are you doing, idiot?” whispered in a hiss.

“I wanted to kiss you!” came an equally annoyed retort. “And you suddenly moved!”

“**I** wanted to kiss you, and you headbutted me!” she protested.

A moment of silence reigned – until it was interrupted by a dual bout of subdued, helpless giggling.

***

“Okay… is it safe to move now, Captain?” Shinji managed after regaining his breath.

“I believe so… Pilot”, she replied. “They should give you some temporary rank or at least a brevet, I suppose, it’s awkward without it. But that’s for later… why?”

“Because I still intend to kiss you”, he replied.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” she quipped.

“I’m sure it’s not, but I still intend to do it”, he retorted. “You’re worth the risk.”

“Sweet-talker”, she sulked. “But if you start reciting poetry, I’m putting you out with a pillow.”

“I think I can put my lips to a better use”, he retorted, his smile not visible, but clearly audible.

_ ‘Oh, I’m sure you can, and I hope you will, sooner or later… oh, wait, not this lips this time’ _ , a stray thought shot through her mind before ending on the shelf labeled ‘dirty jokes and innuendos for later’. “By all means, Shinji… today, if you don’t mind”, she jabbed.

“Allow me…” he replied with a chuckle as his hands moved carefully in the darkness, with one of them ending on Asuka’s neck before maneuvering to put his lips on hers.

This was not one of those hungry, vicious kisses they shared in the heat of the moment. This one was soft, slow, affectionate, and peaceful. It could easily be described by another adjective – one neither of them dared yet to speak of, though.

***

“Goodnight, Shinji”, Asuka smiled as she finally broke the kiss.

“Goodnight, Asuka”, the boy replied in kind. “How would you want me now?”

_ ‘With your back on the bed and me straddling at your hip level, doing squats and screaming my lungs out’ _ , was a reply she almost spoke aloud. “Shinji… are you doing this on purpose?” she asked instead after forcibly shelving the thought.

“Do what?” he asked, his voice confused.

“I take it as a ‘no’, then”, she giggled. “That was a question with a lot of… potential. I’ll explain later, okay?”

“Of course”, he agreed, as he usually did. “So… do you want me behind you, or underneath?” he tried again.

The only reply was a subdued bout of giggling – and Asuka’s quick roll to her side, followed by a wiggling against his body.

“Spooning it is, then”, he smiled. “Sleep well… once you stop laughing.”

She confirmed his statement with another wiggle, this time directly against him.

_ ‘I suppose we’re stuck on “farewell sanity”, and, no doubt, “farewell purity”’ _ , he concluded. _‘Not that I was too pure before…’_ he smiled to himself as his hand trailed a line from Asuka’s thigh, up her hip, her stomach – to finally rest on her breast. A soft purr, along with yet another, softer wiggle of her bottom have told him that his gesture was definitely welcome.

_ ‘And wherever this insanity takes me… I will not be going there alone.’ _

_ _


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re done with citruses for now. Now, it’s time for emotions, drama, and only casual erotic content! Nevertheless, I hope you’ll enjoy the story.

_Saturday morning_

The gray morning rose over Tokyo-3 and the alarm on Asuka’s nightstand sounded. It went silent before she even reached it. A quick check of her surroundings made the situation clear and stopped the already starting defensive action – just before a soft whisper of “good morning, Asuka” reached her ear.

_‘Okay, this is not the perfect way to wake up, but it’s **quite** close’_, she smiled to herself, reflexively wiggling against the warm body behind her. The pressure and the wonderful feeling of skin on skin made her purr. _‘That’s even closer… I wonder if I could convince him to wake me with a–**halt**’_, she stopped herself as she realized the final station of her current train of thought. _‘It’s fine. We’ll make it perfect. In time’_, she decided. “Good morning, Shinji”, she turned and gave him a peck on his nose before shooting him a smile. “Don’t get used to that, it’s rare that I have such a good mood in the morning”, she remarked, her smile turning lop-sided.

“I wonder what the contributing factors are”, he touched her cheek. “I can see myself doing a study”, he added with a smile.

“Am I a guinea pig for you?” she raised her eyebrow.

“You’re not. You’re much cuter”, he denied with his smile retained.

Asuka blinked in confusion, her gaze incredulous. A normal reaction to such comment would be violence, and she could see herself exercising it against any of her schoolmates who would say that, even. But Shinji… he apparently, surreptitiously, without notice – acquired some weird privilege of not being turned into a bloody pulp for calling her ‘cute’.

***

Shinji’s brain also realized the threat – and was by itself confused by the fact that it was not suffering damage right now. There have been factors that made this logical – after all, acts of violence from the redhead have diminished recently and carried a hefty cost for her – but the memory of being kicked for just looking at her in the wrong moment was still there, not to mention recollections of classmates suffering horrific violence for approaching her in the wrong moment or with the wrong perceived intent.

But the threat was not being realized.

***

“You’re walking a fine line, Shinji Ikari, son of Gendo and…” Asuka trailed off, quickly realizing that she had just painted herself into a corner.

“Yui. Gendo and Yui”, Shinji finished for her with a smile intact. “And… you **do** look lovely right now”, his smile slowly widened.

“Be glad I’m still groggy and don’t have enough vitriol to laugh at your questionable taste”, she rose from the bed and took a look at herself in the vanity mirror. Confirming her suspicions, her reflection had tangled hair, some bags under the eyes, and less-than-perfect skin. She tried not to think about her breath and the other, minor morning issues that came from going to bed without much of a wash after something that could easily be considered sex. A random idea for how to counter that last part appeared in her mind; she shelved it before continuing her reasoning.

But for some unfathomable reason, despite all those flaws, her boyfriend was looking at her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. On one hand, it made a lot of sense. He was her boyfriend, so considering her the most beautiful woman in the world was kind of in the position’s description, it was the default state. On the other hand, she **was** looking like a mess. A quite content mess, a beaming mess, but still a mess. So on that hand, it made absolutely no sense.

_‘Wait’_, a revolutionary thought struck her. _‘What if he’s being sincere?’_

This thought was about to be rejected as absurd – but then Asuka took another look at Shinji. He was _smiling_. Not _grinning_ stupidly, as he could after what she did to him yesterday. Not _smirking_ as if he was hoping for more today or tomorrow or soon enough. No, he was _smiling_, genuinely _smiling_, as if he simply liked what he saw in front of him, in all the morning glory, all the morning mess, all the morning dishevelment.

_‘Fuck. He likes the morning me. And I don’t mind him seeing me like this. Fuck. It feels like being married alrea-**stop**’_, she ordered herself. _‘One mess at a time, let’s make him crazy about me first’_, she decided. _‘Speaking of seeing and of morning…’_ her eyes wandered off to a very obvious bulge under the covers.

“Okay, Shinji”, she took a deep breath. “You’ll know better than me. When is our guardian getting up?”

He glanced at the clock on her nightstand. “In about fifteen minutes, I think?”

Asuka stifled down a curse. “Too short”, she grumbled.

“For what?” Shinji tilted his head before following her eyes. “Asuka!” he burst in a whisper, his face red.

“What?” she shrugged. “You didn’t object… yesterday”, she grinned. “Look me in the eye and tell me you would not **like** to be woken like this”, she challenged, her eyes seeking his.

His blush intensified. “Don’t demand the impossible, Asuka”, he replied matter-of-factly.

“So I rest my case. Now… while the thought of being fed cream first thing in the morning is appealing”, her grin widened, “I wouldn’t mind a proper breakfast if I am to endure the day. And I didn’t have a shower after… yesterday, so I need one now”, she declared. “So, how much I enjoy seeing you and taking guesses what’s underneath the sheets”, she quipped, “off with you to the bathroom before I occupy it. Or worse, before Misato gets ahead of me.”

“Fair point”, he threw the covers aside, trying his best not to think of Asuka’s seeing him completely naked, for the first time in almost broad daylight. Her approving grin and darting eyes did not make it easy: the moment the door slid behind him, he felt like he was blushing all over his body. Taking a deep breath, he put his doubts away until they crystallized enough to be discussed with Asuka and started his morning routine.

***

Asuka’s grin did not subside when she was left alone in the room. _‘God knows I was a step away from trying it right there’_, she admitted to herself. _‘Fuck. What am I supposed to do, demand he spanks me every time I act like a bitch in heat?’_ she blushed in an odd mix of anger, shame, and arousal at the thought now fitting this comparison was._ ‘That would be a great help, of course, he would oblige me, and I would only get hotter and hotter. No, that’s not it’_, she shook her head._ ‘Let’s leave this problem to the “Asuka who had her coffee and a shower”, or even to “Asuka who had a pleasant but not necessarily fuck-filled evening”’_, she decided as she put her uniform together while trying not to think about last night’s events that made her put it on the chair.

She was blushing hard enough already.

***

“Good morning Misato!” Shinji chirped from the kitchen.

“Blurg mrning…” his guardian replied, great pain obvious on her face. “Bathroom?”

“Occupied by Asuka, I’m afraid”, he replied with sympathy in his immediately lowered voice. “Do you want me to make you a coffee?”

“Yes please”, she whispered, “but don’t you dare to start this jet-engine powered machine before I’m at least a door away”, she requested. “It’s been a bad idea to drink so much yesterday. But this was also the only idea”, she shrugged before pausing for a half minute. “I hope the breakfast will not demand an immediate evacuation”, she mused in a tired voice.

“It’s quite light, so judging from your history of bearing with my cooking, you should be fine”, Shinji smiled. “At what time should we expect you back?”

“About twenty minutes after our slave-driver releases us”, she grumbled. “Sorry, I know I should not be talking like this about your father… but Unit-03 has arrived and we have to prepare **everything**, and it has to be prepared **right now**, so… overtime, be my life”, her voice remained unchanged. “I **should** be home before nine, though.”

“I’m sorry to hear that”, Shinji’s voice was low and sympathetic. “Do you need me to do something for the evening? Some cake, perhaps?”

“Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t want you to do with or to Asuka, don’t let her do anything bad to you, make sure I have something warm to eat when I come crawling through that door”, she shot a look at the apartment’s entry, “and a beer to put me out of commission. Or out of my misery, depends on how bad it will be. Just not too much of it, because I’ll be working tomorrow, too.”

“Tomorrow?” he allowed his surprise to raise his voice for a moment. “S-sorry”, he momentarily dropped, seeing Misato’s face twitch in pain. “On Sunday?”

“Let’s say your father is _determined_”, Misato shrugged helplessly. “Just don’t tell him I called him a slave-driver.”

“We don’t talk to each other, Misato, you know that well”, Shinji retorted. “And even if we did… you wouldn’t need to worry about that”, he declared, his voice serious.

“I know”, she confirmed, her hoarse voice tinged with sadness. “You may have an opportunity, right? At the dinner party?” she furrowed her brow.

Shinji shrugged. “Ayanami was saying something about ‘convincing my father to come’, so I’m not sure if this even is still a thing, or just her wishful thinking. I mean, it would be nice… I suppose.”

“Oh? And what if this is just a plot to get you two to have dinner together?” Misato’s face suddenly lit up as she smirked. “Have you thought of that?”

“Misato…” Shinji gave her a look of disdain. “Asuka’s going to be there, too. So unless there’s some other boy involved, I think it’s not a… romantic plot”, he retorted.

“You never know. Maybe she’ll intend to poison–ah, Asuka finally! What were you doing, building an entire **fleet** in the bathtub?” Misato’s attention turned to the towel-wrapped redhead that just appeared in the doorway.

“Showering”, Asuka shrugged. “All yours. I even washed the tub”, she added.

Misato’s glare was the only comment as she speeded next to Asuka and vanished behind the door.

***

Shinji Ikari had several well-practiced routines for working in the kitchen; they differed, of course, being heavily dependent on the time of the day and dish in question, but they had a common component: when something was on the stove, it was given the utmost attention. It was a very practical approach, one that spared him some of the unpleasantries associated with cooking, like burns, spills – and ruined food.

But it had a minor flaw. A flaw that would be inconsequential in a safe environment. But to his misfortune, this environment was inhabited by a dangerous predator.

“Need a hand?” an unusually sweet voice of Asuka reached his ears simultaneously to a warm hand resting on his back, just above the tailbone.

“No, thank you, I think I’m _fi-fi-fine_”, he finished, fighting a shock while pronouncing the final word.

Asuka was standing within arm’s reach of him, naked as a jaybird – except for the towel on her head. Aside her nudity which occupied virtually all his attention, there was also something different about her, something he could not put his finger on. A part of his mind, one that was aware of what was going on but unable to reach his consciousness, helpfully pointed out that he indeed never put his finger on it. Yet.

“How do you like it?” she asked with a wide grin on her face.

“A-A-A-A-Asuka…” he stuttered before closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, putting the pan down, and reducing the burner output to a minimum. Only then he dared to open his eyes again. Asuka was still standing there, clothed only in a towel on her head – which only added to the homely look he found so endearing – and her hand on her hips.

“So? Your opinion?” she nudged.

“A five, for sure”, he declared.

Her face turned from amused to angry in a second. “Only **five**?!”

“It’s a surprise during mildly dangerous activity, no reason to give you more for that”, he blinked in confusion.

Asuka stared at him, her expression equally confused. Finally, in a loud collision, her palm met her face. “I’m asking you to judge what you **see**, not how much is this going to cost me”, she mumbled.

“Ah. Sorry”, his expression turned sheepish. “I… well…” he found himself lacking words. “I think you saw it on my face?” he finally tried.

“Yeah, shock and awe”, Asuka chuckled as she shook her head. “I thought you’d like it. Just don’t expect me to keep it that way all the time, it’s a bit of an issue”, she noted, eliciting another confused look from him. “Now, I’m going to get dressed”, she whirled in a spot before bowing out with her grin back and turning to leave.

Shinji shook his head and decided that he will most likely turn grey before he would reach thirty. _‘On the other hand, that’s a small price’_, he smiled to himself as he returned to his morning routine to the sounds of the sizzling pan, morning radio, and the sound of warming up the coffee maker.

***

“Here you are, Misato”, Shinji set the plate in front of his guardian who was nursing a big cup of coffee in her hands.

“Thank you, Shin-chan. You bring salvation in the trying times of suffering”, she smiled at him as warmly as she could muster in her current state.

“I sense some messed up allegory here”, Asuka chimed in from the doorway of her room. “A stern father bringing the suffering, and a compassionate son bringing salvation. All we miss is a messenger in a form of a white dove and the Trinity would be complete”, she continued as she sat at the table.

“I’m not sure I follow you, Asuka”, Shinji stared at her as he set a plate in front of her, his confusion evident.

Misato, in turn, glared at Asuka, her eyebrow raised. “While I agree that to endure what you’re doing to him Shin-chan needs a patience of a saint, but I would **not** go so far to deify him, you know?”

“Fair point”, Asuka shrugged, giving Shinji a discreet smile of gratitude as the cup of coffee joined the plate in front of her.

Misato suddenly set her chopsticks down and stared at Asuka in horror. “Who are you and what did you do to Asuka Langley Shikinami?” she asked in a raised voice with enough conviction to make Shinji turn around immediately.

Asuka returned the glare. “I killed her, ground her, ate her, and replaced her with myself, a perfect doppelgänger”, she hissed as inhumanly as she could. “She’ll have far better synch rate, too, for sure!” she continued in the odd voice.

Misato’s expression suggested that she was either about to start screaming or beg for mercy. Finally, she shook it off and picked her chopsticks up again. “You kids will be the death of me”, she mumbled.

“Not willingly, unless you suddenly develop an allergy to alcohol or to teenagers. So, don’t worry about that”, Asuka shrugged again, her voice back to normal. “You’re a pain sometimes but I suppose killing you would kill me in turn with remorse. Besides, I would have no one to steal perfume from.”

The next look from Misato was clearly pleading for mercy. To the woman’s relief, Asuka just grinned in reply and returned to her plate.

Shinji let out the breath he was holding and finally set his own plate on the table. ‘_This could have gone far worse. Let’s be glad for small–’_

A white, terrycloth towel with a small ‘A’ embroidered in red thread fell to the floor as he pulled his chair to sit on it. The same towel Asuka was wrapped in before her little stunt.

_‘Fuck.’_

***

“Asuka… did you do this on purpose?” Shinji asked when they found themselves in a crowded street, in relative safety from being listened to.

“Do what?” Asuka tilted her head. “The show-off? Sure, what–”

“The towel”, he explained.

“Fuck”, she went pale in stark contrast to her ears.

“My thought exactly”, he stated in a deadpan.

“I assume you… disposed of the evidence?” she asked, her voice still tense.

“Yes I did, it’s in the laundry basket, with a few stains”, he confirmed, eliciting a sigh of relief from the girl. “It took some maneuvering around Misato–”

“Ah – the spilled leftovers of the coffee and ‘getting the rag’”, Asuka realized. “Good one”, she admitted.

“Thank you. It seems that being threatened by the situation turning awkward boosts my thinking quite well”, he chuckled. “But as successful as the cover-up was, I’m sorely tempted to… well…” he blushed slightly.

“Tell me what you think of it?” she asked, her voice a bit shaky.

“More than that”, he admitted.

“Oh. Right”, her expression went sheepish. “I’ll make it easy for you, then: I deserve at least ten for that, it was a serious OPSEC breach”, she admitted, eliciting a short moment of surprise on Shinji’s face. “What? I can admit my mistakes”, she shot him a glare. Shinji’s face indicated he wanted to say something to that but decided to remain silent. “Okay, so I really, really hate to suggest that, but let’s play fair here: add a ten and take off a five… soon. Agreed?”

He shot her a confused glare before a realization dawned on his face. “You mean the crop, right?”

“Correct”, she agreed. “Serious is serious.”

He took a deep breath. “I… Okay”, he nodded. “Misato’s working full shift today, so… right when we’re back from school?”

“As you command… sir”, she smiled with a small shiver running down her spine. _‘Yay. Now I’ll be thinking of it all day, in addition to my sore bottom… and’_, she squashed a need to scratch a patch of itching skin, _‘consequences of my fun ideas. Well, that’s the story of my life as it is now’_, she grinned.

“Asuka?” reached her ears.

“Yes?” she turned to the source of the sound.

“Why are you smiling? I mean, I like when you do, but–”

She let out a content sigh. “Because, my dear idiot, I have two _major_ reasons: I have a competent boyfriend who can improvise and save me from my fuck-up, and you just promised to take off – and thus effectively already have taken off – a burden from me. So… how could I not be happy? And when I’m happy, I smile. Simple as that”, she finished in an upbeat voice.

“Gods, you’re sometimes hard to understand”, he admitted with a smile and a headshake.

_‘But you love me anyway’_ was a thought she barely captured before it left her mouth. “But you wouldn’t trade me for anything?” she managed to substitute.

“Not in any life”, he replied, caught her hand, and gave it a squeeze before letting it go. Crowded streets, as much as they reduced the risk of being eavesdropped on, were not a very safe spot to show emotions.

She turned her head away and blinked away the tears. Crying in public was not an option, no matter how her hand burned after this minimal contact; grabbing and kissing him right now was also not an–

_‘Fuck me. What’s the worst outcome, five more swats on my bottom after which I get hugs?’_ she decided and scanned their surroundings._ ‘Side street ambush coming in 5… 4… 3…’_

Asuka’s legs bent and launched her with all the strength she could muster; simultaneously, her arms encircled Shinji. “Wha–”

***

Having a cold wall against his back was a familiar, if rare, feeling for Shinji. Having Asuka against his body was also something familiar. Having her lips – and teeth, and tongue – on his was more recent, but also a recognizable sensation.

Still, the whole situation felt bizarre, most likely due to its suddenness and surprise. His heart was pounding, his body was primed to fight – but there were no enemies nearby. Not anymore.

“Aah”, Asuka almost moaned as she detached herself from him. “Just what I needed. Thank you for providing”, she grinned.

“Asuka… you didn’t exactly **ask**”, Shinji grunted. “And you know what – are you crying?” his voice suddenly became soft.

“Wha–” she reached to her face only to stare at her wet hand in confusion a few seconds later. “Fuck. I… didn’t notice. Fu–”

A sudden embrace took her off-guard; the arms encircling her were likely not as strong as her own, but they certainly provided far more comfort than anything she could think of at the moment. She wanted just to cry it out here and–

“Don’t”, she whispered. “I don’t want to. Not now”, she demanded.

“Use the word, Asuka, or let me hug you”, came an _answer_.

“Fuck”, she whispered.

“Not that word.”

“Shut up”, she demanded.

“As you wish”, he replied and tightened his embrace.

Tears kept flowing. _‘Starting the day by being late and visiting a toilet to wash this off, along with hoping that Stabsgefreiter Horaki won’t notice anything… oh fuck that. I need that and he’s providing that. He’s also a cause for that… but I brought it on myself…’_ her thoughts kept stampeding. “Shinji”, she whispered again.

“Yes?” came a soft reply.

“What’s the count now?” she asked, trying her best to get a distraction.

“Hm, five for the morning surprise, ten for the… mess up, and five now for the ambush”, he listed, his embrace unwavering. “Total of sixty, I believe. It’s a bit of a record, twenty accrued in a little more than an hour”, he chuckled.

“I’m just so fucking talented, aren’t I?” she spat out in a puzzlingly happy voice.

“Twenty-five”, he replied.

“What?” she managed to turn enough in his grasp to look him in the eye.

“Five more for the language”, he smiled down on her. “I can understand one or two… but, well…”

“Not fair. You’re taking advantage of my vulnerable state to increase my sentence”, she pouted.

“Do you want to contest that sentence?” he kept smiling.

“No. I’m just pointing out a fact”, her pout remained in place.

He pulled her closer again. “Fair point. So, if you don’t contest it… That makes for sixty-five, five to be… taken off today.”

_‘Beat me black and blue. Break me. Make me cry in the earnest, and then stay with me to listen to my cries. And then–’_

“I can try, Asuka”, he replied, making her stomach turn into a knot. “I will try.”

_‘Fuck. I said it out loud?’_

“Yes you did”, he was still holding her tightly. “I don’t think we can risk a full spanking today, but we can try to work something out.”

“Today was supposed to be movie night!” she protested, her voice suddenly annoyed. “You’re not weaseling out from the proper dose of absurdist humor and popular culture education you very much need.”

“We’ll have enough time for both, I believe”, he retorted. “It’s not that smarting soles would make watching a movie impossible, right?”

There were a few seconds of silence as Asuka’s head slowly turned to look at him. “Since when you’re so sharp-tongued?” she asked, her lips slowly moving into a smile.

“Am I?” he furrowed his brow. “I suppose it’s you, rubbing off on me bit by bit”, he replied. “Let’s do it this way: once we’re back from school, we’ll execute what we already agreed to – and in the evening, we can discuss the matter of further… beating. How does it sound?”

“Like torture I deserve, I guess. I’ll be thinking of it the who-ole day”, the smile widened a notch. “Thank you”, she added in a whisper. “But now… I think we should go”, she grumbled as she moved against his grasp again. “We’re not late _yet_, but we’re kind of close.”

“Are you sure?” he checked.

“Shinji-dear, I lived on hope and promises most of my life. And yours are the kind I can trust, right?” she reassured him. “Just don’t break them and we’ll be fine.”

He nodded with a cautious smile and reached to his schoolbag before handing her a pack of tissues. “Do you want me to leave first, or wait until you do?”

“Thanks. You go first”, she decided. “I can take the Rottenführer Horaki’s scorn, it’s pointless to expose us both. Suspicious, too”, she added.

“By your command”, he smiled. “I’ll be waiting for you”, he added as he turned and left.

_‘I really like when you say that’_, a stray thought appeared in her mind before she shook it off and focused on making herself somewhat presentable.

***

To Asuka’s relief, Hikari I Would Rather Not Be Titled In German Horaki was busy with arbitrating some trivial dispute between two classmates. The redhead did not even stop to try to learn what was this about; she stormed past Hikari I Do Not Wish For Arguments In My Class, Now Shake Hands! Horaki’s desk and dropped on her own seat about half a second before realizing that ‘dropping on a seat’ was not the smartest thing she could do right now.

_‘Let me guess. He’s looking at me right now and enjoying my misfortune he had his hand in’_, Asuka guessed as she tried to suppress a wince. She took a glance with a corner of her eye – and her suspicions were confirmed, at least in part. Shinji Ikari, her menace, her boyfriend, her tormentor, and her closest soul in the world was indeed looking at her.

And smiling.

She let out a sigh. _‘I don’t know what I expected. He’s just so–’_

“Stand! Bow! Sit!”

***

To Asuka’s surprise, while she certainly suffered some discomfort, it was not the worst day she had to go through at school. She suspected three factors contributing to that: her getting used to sitting on a spanked bottom, the fact that the spanking having – despite a harder implement – weaker lasting effect, and – most likely to the highest degree – her perception of the classroom.

After all, it was difficult not to smile while seeing the teacher supervising a student at the blackboard standing exactly where she stood yesterday as she gave her _demonstration_. It was hard not to giggle when she saw someone sit on the chair her clothing was resting on while her bottom was being turned red. And, first and foremost, it was extremely hard not to grin when watching Hikari If I Knew What Happened Here, I Would Have A Heart Attack sit at her desk as nothing ever happened there.

_‘I would **love** to see her reaction to that. “Class Rep, by the way, the desk you spend your days at was used for horrific, brain-bending debauchery and violence, one bordering on abuse and leading to further lewd acts performed in the classroom you hold so dear. Also, the evidence was destroyed by the same cleaning supplies everyone uses. And I don’t think we washed hands between the said debauchery and handling the supplies…”’_, Asuka’s grin grew wider. She had enough presence of mind to hide it behind her hands, even if Hikari Completely Oblivious Horaki could not see her at the moment. _‘God, that was the **best** idea’_, she decided. _‘Whatever shreds of authority she might have held over me in my head are null and void with that picture. She’d either have a heart attack, a shrieking fit, or just a blank expression and heavy onset of denial’_, Asuka kept musing. _‘The teachers, not so much, I suppose’_, she continued her reasoning. _‘So… fun as it might have been, let’s not try this again anytime soon, or someone might get suspicious. Also, variety is the spice… what’s the next fun spot we could use?’_ she kept pondering as her eyes rested absentmindedly on some poor student trying to solve some geometrical task.

“Ikari”, the annoyed voice of the math teacher sounded in the classroom. “Your turn. Will you take over and show your colleague how to use a ruler properly?”

The proximity of Asuka’s hand to her mouth was the only reason she managed to gag herself quickly enough and avoid bursting into a bout of helpless, insane laughter.

***

“Here, Asuka”, the bento box in Shinji’s hand entered the redhead’s field of vision. “W-what happened to your hand?” he asked, his voice low, as he glared at a large bite mark on her wrist.

“Sit”, she requested in a similarly low key. “The teacher did… and you so adeptly wielding the ruler at the board”, she grinned.

“Well, it was not that hard, not with all you taught me”, he smiled cautiously as he sat down with another box at hand. “I mean, all I needed to do was to–”

“Okay, you don’t have your thoughts enough in a gutter”, Asuka rolled her eyes with amusement. “Good for the school, I guess. Never mind. Are you going to eat that?” she glared at the box in his hand.

“No, that’s for Ayanami”, he explained.

This time, the eye roll was clearly more annoyed. “Ah, yes, I forgot, you feed the stray cats. Go ahead, give it to her, but come back to me with your box, okay?”

“People will–” he started to protest.

“Just use the Excuse Number Two: pilot business. It’s not that hard”, she retorted as she put another bacon-wrapped piece of rice in her mouth, a part of bento made only for her.

“What’s the Excuse Number One?” he asked with a puzzled expression.

“'‘Shut the fuck up and have a nice day’”, Asuka helpfully explained with the most obvious fake smile he had ever seen in his life.

Heads turned as a burst of laughter carried across the classroom.

“Ha! I told you a work shift together would do wonders to them!” Hikari Not Exactly Wrong, Even If For All The Wrong Reasons Horaki pointed out to her friend. “He is already acting far happier!”

Knowing Hikari Not Always Right, But Always Acting If She Was Right Horaki all too well, the girl limited her reply to a restrained nod and a doubtful look.

The laughter was happy, no question about it – but it was difficult to miss a note of insanity in it.

***

The sounds of the last bell were always like music to Asuka’s ears, even before the time they started to mean ‘time spent in a good company, coming soon’. Today, she had two things to look forward to with glee – and one she was looking to with mixed feelings.

“Ready, Third?” she barked towards Shinji who was talking with his two buddies. There were just a few students remaining in the class beside her, him, and those two – mostly those who still had some club activity coming or the cleaning duty for today.

“Oi, the Red Demon tries to snatch you again from our protective embrace”, Touji interceded. “Do not let her bewitch you!”

“You’re a little bit too late, gorilla”, Asuka scoffed, eliciting a slightly panicked look from Shinji. “He’s been cooking for me for a while, and I’m afraid I have a better claim on him than you do. For once, we **work** together instead of just fooling around together.”

“I will not give him up without a fight!” Touji shot the redhead a threatening glare. Shinji turned his glare to him, his eyebrow raised.

“Oh, I’m sure. We can duel for him if you’re so keen on having the floor wiped with your ugly mug”, Asuka retorted, causing Shinji to turn his increasingly confused glare back to her. “But he offered to cook for you, didn’t he?”, she narrowed her eyes, her voice becoming venomous. “And you **rejected** him, **brutally** and without **any** concern for his feelings. You do not **deserve** his cooking, and you’re not **getting** it. Accept that, and move on with your… **tasteless** life”, she finished, her blue eyes holding Touji’s gaze as if she was a snake hypnotizing a larger prey. “Come Shinji”, she addressed her fellow pilot in a suddenly softer voice. “We have some business to attend to.”

Shinji, whose mix of confusion and amusement – with some indignity sprinkled on the top – had been intensifying thorough the entire exchange, stood up slowly. “I’m sorry, guys. The Captain here is right. When the pilot business needs attention, my personal wishes take second place.”

“Tomorrow, then?” Touji probed, only partially successful in shaking the impression Asuka made on him.

“NERV’s an anthill now, sorry”, Shinji dodged the question. “Misato is working overtime, today **and** tomorrow, so who knows when I might be needed. So… sorry, not until the whole mess with–” he stopped himself, suddenly aware he just strayed too far into the classified information territory. “With the new equipment is concluded.”

“Is it Unit-03?! Tell me if it’s Unit-03!” Kensuke, hitherto just sitting there, busy with being stunned by the absurdity of the moment, suddenly jumped up and grabbed Shinji by the collar.

This has immediately proven to be a fatal mistake. Before Shinji could reply or react in any manner except blinking in surprise, Kensuke found himself face-first against the wall, his hands locked in a vice-like grip, and his body pressed to said wall with a knee against his lower back. Asuka turned her head to face Shinji and started in a surprisingly sweet voice, just with a hint of the underlying steel. “I know you like him, for reasons that remain a mystery to me, so I suppose we skip the ‘feeding to the sharks’ part. I know you guys rough it up as means of communication… but”, she turned to Kensuke again, “Shinji is my”, she paused just for a split second and continued before the boy in question could panic, “fellow Pilot, and it won’t be against the wall if I see you – or you”, she eyed Touji, “do something like this to him again. Is that **clear**?”

Kensuke nodded as much as he was capable of; Touji stared for a few seconds in disbelief before nodding as well.

“Asuka…” Shinji probed carefully.

“Yes, yes, I know, ‘don’t tear people’s limbs off, you’re not in Germany anymore’”, she replied in a deadpan, eliciting another stare from Touji. “Don’t worry, this one doesn’t even displace the joints or cause any permanent damage”, she released the grip and gave the boy’s elbows and arm joints a quick pat. “I’m glad I haven’t lost my touch in precision overpowering”, she grinned, satisfied with the apparent lack of damage except for a slightly scruffier appearance of the target. “Shall we, Third?”

“By all means… Second”, he managed to maintain a steady voice. “See you on Monday guys! And sorry about that”, he added with a sheepish expression.

***

About twenty seconds after leaving the school and two seconds after turning behind the street corner, Asuka scanned the area for familiar faces, noticed none, took a deep breath, and spoke up: “Okay, Shinji, spit it out. How many will this little stunt cost me?”

He stopped and took a good look at her face, his expression serious. It was easy to notice that her question was serious as well. “None?” he replied, his voice an odd mix of confusion and conviction. “It… well, it **was** a bit much to have him against a wall, and the jokes were a bit… heavy”, he continued, his voice embarrassed for a moment, “but it just feels wrong to punish you for… well, defending me? I mean… you _could have_ done it less violently, but”, he ticked off one finger, “you didn’t really hurt him”, he ticket off the other, “it’s something I can ask you to consider, not order. Also… thank you”, he smiled a sheepish smile. “I don’t like it when they do that… but I couldn’t find it in myself to tell them to stop.”

“Thank you”, she replied in almost a whisper, clearly relieved. _‘Fuck, if only he knew… fuck the count, but him rejecting that…’_ she realized her actual qualms. Still, she knew she had to poke that bruise a little bit more. “I hope you don’t have a problem with being saved by a girl”, she asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Asuka… I suppose would have, a while ago”, he admitted with an uneasy smile. “Not… anymore. Well, at least not by you.”

“Good”, she smiled wider. “Because I intend to keep doing this, as many times as needed… and I will take your ‘less violently’ under consideration but can’t make any promises. It’s about _you_, after all”, the smile turned into a smirk. “I’m serious about protecting my property.”

“As long as you don’t try to brand me, put me in a box, or collar me, I think I can live with being ‘your property’”, he retorted with a smile. “As long as”, he raised his finger, “as **you** are fine with being mine.”

“If the same conditions apply, I should be just as fine”, the smirk turned into a grin. “Come on!” she demanded. “We still have that ‘pilot business’ we talked about to attend to!”

“It’s not much of a ‘pilot business’, you know?” Shinji remarked, his eyebrow raised.

“What do you mean ‘it’s not’?” she asked, her voice indignant. “It’s **our** business and we **are** pilots. So it is ‘pilot business’ without a doubt. Let’s go!” she turned and resumed her heading towards the bus stop.

Defeated by the impeccable logic his girlfriend spouted, he could only follow her in silent awe.

***

“We’re home!” the two teenagers called from the door as they took their shoes off. The only reply was the sound of the sliding freezer door and the sight of a penguin wing waving at them.

“As expected”, Asuka shrugged. “Oh well… let’s follow the plan, then?” she suggested, her voice just a little bit tense.

“Yes, but first…”, Shinji smiled, set the grocery bags down, and embraced surprised Asuka. Two seconds later his lips touched hers – and further two seconds later, she reciprocated the kiss.

“I suppose it’s appropriate to thank for a rescue with a kiss, right?” he smiled as they detached.

“Huh”, Asuka shook her surprise off. “Outdated, fairy-tale like, and a bit creepy custom objectively, to be honest, but surely a nice thing subjectively”, her confused expression turned into a smirk. “I just hope you’ll be firmer before it comes to… the rest of the evening.”

Shinji’s eyebrows rose. “Did I ever disappoint you in that regard recently… Miss Langley?” his voice _altered_ momentarily.

“Oh, no, sir”, she purred. “Certainly you did not. What do you command now?”

“Oh, the routine first, I’m afraid. Wash our hands, unpack, start making dinner…” he listed, his voice returning to normal. “And then it’s homework.”

“Not the… punishment?” Asuka inquired.

“Do you want to be able to focus?” Shinji asked.

“Shinji, dear. I won’t be able to focus while I anticipate what you’re going to do to me”, Asuka explained helpfully. “So, if you want me to be of any help, you put me to the crop just after we’re done eating”, she insisted. “Unless you intend to torture me with the anticipation, in which case I’ll justifiably call you a cruel, cruel man.”

“All right, all right”, he threw his hands up as he smiled again. “You know your own mind better than I do, there’s no contest about that. Just admit – is the ‘Misato may return earlier and make this impossible’ a factor, too?”

Asuka pondered for a second. “I suppose it is. Didn’t think of it, but you’re kind of right. Well, one more reason to make it so, right?”

“Well, yes. So, we have a plan: bathroom, unpacking, kitchen”, Shinji listed. “And then we can get to the… punishment part. Admittedly, Misato told me ‘not to do anything she wouldn’t want me to do’ with you…” he paused, eliciting raised eyebrows from Asuka, “but I believe ‘getting along’ is something she actually **wants** us to do”, his smile turned into a small grin.

“You’re getting better with that ‘technically correct’ approach, I must say”, Asuka chuckled. “Just don’t try that on–”

“On you. I know”, he interrupted with a nod. “Don’t worry, Asuka. Now, if we want to finish in time and avoid Misato seeing us… getting along, we should move. Will the lady do the chopping honors?” he bowed his head in an overtly courteous gesture.

“By all means. It’s a warrior’s role to wield a blade”, she bowed back in the same manner, disrupted only by an ineptly concealed grin.

***

_‘And to cut her own fingers to ribbons, as it seems’_, Asuka quickly supplemented her previous observation. _‘How come I managed to have just two cuts in the morning, under the pressure of time and going half-blind, and I already have **four** here, when I have **perfect** vision and I’m not in **that** much of a hurry? Granted, tools were different, but come on! Mysteries of the human mind and body indeed…’_ she mused as she shooed Shinji – who wanted to dress the wounds immediately – away from her injuries and just ran them under cold water; none were deep enough to warrant immediate attention.

After all, there were more urgent matters to attend to soon – matters that took far more of her thought than she was willing to admit – and she was determined to get to them as fast as possible. A little blood was an inconsequential price to pay. Even if it was her blood.

With that thought and a smile on her face, she turned the faucet off and picked up the knife.

***

Shinji had to admit that the vegetables have never been chopped so finely or so quickly before. Seeing a disturbingly wide grin evident on Asuka’s face as she left the kitchen and noticing the depth of the new cuts on the board, he decided not to ask too many questions, at least not for the moment.

After all, trusting Asuka was both easier and safer.


	24. Chapter 24

_ Saturday afternoon _

The diner was stewing, and Shinji’s insistence finally led to the cuts being covered in proper dressing. Having checked everything and ensuring nothing was in an immediate threat of burning, Shinji washed his hand, took the apron off, and turned to face his girlfriend – who was busy going over the set of movies they were supposed to watch later.

“Asuka? Are you ready?”

She raised her head. “As much as you are, I suppose”, she put the cases back and stood up. “Do you want me to change back into my uniform?”

Shinji pondered for a moment, his face blushing about four seconds into the process. “No”, he decided. “Stay as you are”, he decided. “Just… okay, will get to that.”

Asuka raised her eyebrows. “What made you blush so hard?” she inquired.

“I…” Shinji hesitated. “I thought for a moment that you should take the punishment in the same way you committed the deed”, he admitted.

“Ah. And you imagined me stark naked”, her own face took a reddish tinge. “I… can do that, if this is your wish… sir”, she cast her eyes down.

“No… Miss Langley”, his voice started to drift in the _known_ direction. “Let’s leave your nakedness for the situations where it is more appropriate. Now I want you…” he paused and took a look around. “First, I want you to bring me the crop.”

“Yes, sir”, Asuka nodded and headed towards her room.

***

Asuka entered the room, slid the door behind her, and took a deep breath, her eyes closed.

_ ‘Obey, little girl, let him, a civilian without a lick of right, order you around’ _ , a voice hissed in her head.

_ ‘Obey because this makes you happy. Gives you respite’ _ , another one immediately countered.

She approached the cupboard where the implement of her today’s torment rested.

_ ‘He makes you a slave, step by step, until you’re nothing but his toy’ _ , the unpleasant undertones continued.

_ ‘You’ll never be a slave, you’ll always play the tug of war, and it will be fun’ _ , the other voice chimed in.

She bent to reach the drawer where it was hidden.

_ ‘He has other goals. He fears you, and once you’re kissing his feet, this fear will be gone’ _ , the opposing voice changed its angle.

_ ‘He will never make you kiss his feet! He wants to make you happy’ _ , a reassurance came.

_ ‘Once he no longer fears you, he’ll crush you, he’ll make you fear–’ _

_ ‘Enough.’ _

She moved the clothing in the drawer aside, retrieved the crop, and straightened up, her teeth clenched.

_ ‘I don’t want him to **fear** me. I want him to love me’ _ , she admitted to herself. _‘And if he makes me kneel and kiss his feet, I will beat him to a bloody pulp, use the word, or **do it with pleasure**’_, she growled. _‘But it will be **me** who makes the choice, not **you**. Now, shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the moment. Or I will ask him to beat me until I hurt so much that you both are silenced.’_

There was no reply in her head. She turned to leave her room, the crop in her hand. 

_ ‘And I will ask him for everything I want to, every way I want to’ _ , she added, smiling a vindictive, satisfied smile.

She could not remember when she felt so free.

***

Shinji Ikari has seen numerous odd sights in his life.

The first and foremost were, obviously, the Angels: beings that treated laws of physics as polite suggestions at best – and were not polite about that, anyway. The second were, also rather obviously, the Evangelions; beings that were better in only one aspect: they obeyed the commands of the humans, at least most of the time.

Those sights – and other sensations – were beyond any contest.

Then, there were odd sights and occurrences that actually conformed to the laws of physics but defied his understanding of the world. The Geofront, with all its bizarre architecture and its seemingly pointless grandeur. His father, who against any logic that should be followed by a family, abandoned him to pursue unfathomable goals. Misato, who had to know that her habits were slowly killing her but pursued them all the same.

Those were mundane, and at least _somewhat_ comprehensible.

And to the latter belonged the current sight: Asuka Langely Shikinami, the torrent of fire, elemental of aggression, tower of pride, and the most unfettered human being he ever encountered – now standing in front of him in a deeply reverent bow, her head low, her hands extended, a leather riding crop resting on her palms. He knew something **like** that would happen – as he himself sent her to retrieve the implement and fully expected to be obeyed – but he did not expect it to happen like **that**; she chose that position herself, without his prompting.

It was increasingly clear to him that Asuka was changing with their every session, and he was perpetually worried whether he was able to keep up with her. Moreover, this interaction was changing him, as well – and he was even more worried that he would not able to keep up with himself.

But no matter how strong his worries were, he knew two things for sure: at this very moment, he had to shelve them… but at a more appropriate time, he could try to voice them to the girl in question – and she would listen. She would subsequently likely try to solve them, this or another way, which could lead to further problems, but before that – she would listen.

A voice brought him back to reality.

“By your command, sir. I brought the implement as you ordered. How do you wish me to take the punishment?” Asuka recited, her head still low, her eyes glued to the floor.

He carefully picked up the crop from her hands. “Thank you, Miss Langley”, he _spoke up_ before pausing for a moment as he considered the options. _‘Table is a bad idea, too many things can go wrong when she’s there with full weight. I don’t want to use any of the rooms, it should be different from using hers, mine is just too small, so is the bathroom. Misato’s is right out, I suppose, so are the kitchen tabletops. So the only valid option is the couch’_, he reasoned quickly. Approaching the still-bowing Asuka, he touched her chin and applied minimal pressure up. The redhead straightened, but her eyes remained downcast. “Lie down on the couch, face down, legs up”, he commanded.

Asuka looked up at him as her brow furrowed; she seemed confused by the order. Still, as she found no reason to resist, she wordlessly moved towards the couch and presented herself as commanded.

“Can you grab your ankles?” came an inquiry.

Asuka reached back and put her hands around the ankles with ease. “Yef, fir”, came a muffled reply; Asuka turned her head to the side. “Yes, sir”, she repeated.

“Good”, a smile was audible in his voice. “I expect you to keep it like this all the time, Miss Langley. Can you do that?”

“I will try my best, sir”, came a determined answer.

“I expect nothing less”, the tone was still warm, turning stern after a pause. “Do you know what you are being punished right now?”

“Yes, sir”, she replied.

“What is it, then?” 

“I committed a serious breach of operational security by leaving a towel where it could be found by a person who should not know about our whereabouts”, the redhead recited.

“And what should you have done?” the inquiry continued.

“I should have taken it with me to avoid raising suspicion.”

“Correct. You will receive ten strokes for that: five are added to your ongoing count for your bottom, five will be delivered now to your soles”, the voice continued, every word making Asuka’s stomach flutter. “I expect you to count each and every one.”

“Yes, sir. Do you wish me to apologize with every single one, sir?” a question came in almost a whisper.

“No, Miss Langley. But you may thank me if you think they are deserved”, a softer reply came. Asuka felt as if the words were rocking her gently, each of them touching her mind and putting it at ease. She was in good hands, in hands that will deliver a punishment, take the burden of guilt off, and then hug her gently and lo–

She shivered and closed her eyes. _‘Gently and lovingly. Just as I wanted.’_

She forced that thought back. She did not feel strong enough to fight it right now and admitting to it felt at the very least dangerous under the circumstances. In this state, it was too easy to say it out loud, and while it could bring some progress to their relationship, it would also destroy the current mood. And she valued this mood very much.

“Yes, sir”, she finally replied. “I am ready, sir.”

“Good girl”, the smile in the voice returned. The tone and the words made her feel as she was melting. A small moan escaped her lips as the crop touched her soles; even when it was promising horrible pain within seconds, it still felt like the sweetest caress.

“Miss Langley?” came an inquiry; the crop moved a bit, eliciting another moan.

“I’m… fine, sir”, the redhead managed. “Can I have the first one, please?” she pleaded.

There was no reply but a swish of the crop, followed by a sharp pain in both feet, followed by a stinging sensation of an army of ants walking over that single line and biting with every step.

“One!” Asuka exclaimed. “Thank you, sir! Can I have the second one, please?” she rattled out automatically.

The crop rested on her soles again, making her shiver.

_ ‘God, if this is going to feel like that all the way, I’m going to stain that couch **hard**, become a pain slut before this is over, propose to him on the spot, or all of the above’ _ , she realized. _‘I always loved **feeling** stuff, but this is… this is insane. This is–’_

The thoughts were interrupted by a second blow across her feet. “Two! Thank you – thank you, sir”, she managed with a gasp. “Can I have the third one, please?” she added a few seconds later; only then the crop rested on her soles again.

_ ‘Aaaand so he trained me to beg. Fuck. I should hate him so much for this. I should be up and punching him right now. But instead, I **am** begging, and I love it. Sanity is, indisputably, for the weak’ _ , she concluded as the next swish indicated an incoming strike.

***

Shinji Ikari spent countless hours dwelling on this particular relationship he found himself in by agreeing to one simple, if unusual, thing a few months ago. The supposedly one-time arrangement that was framed as ‘helping a fellow pilot’ ended up turning into regular assistance, then into regular, if informal agreement, then into an actual relationship, then escalated to a really odd deal where things were quite well specified, but kept evolving – and currently was heading in an unknown, and thus scary direction – but in a good, trusting, and solid company.

The current situation was a very good example of how things changed. The use of the crop stemmed from him asking innocently about something Asuka mentioned earlier, leading to her explanation, leading to a demonstration, leading to an ad hoc amends to their unwritten but quite well-defined agreement – finally leading to the practical execution of this particular punishment. It simply escalated in a natural, organic way, punctuated by short discussions, amendments, and experiments. He did not understand the process in its entirety, but he could track each and every step back. None of those steps happened without his awareness and consent – but the end result still surprised him. It was one of those things he felt they should discuss – but every time he thought about it, they were either in the middle of something – usually something too involved to interrupt – or had too little time to give the subject the attention it deserved.

_ ‘Well, so far, so good… she is happy with what is happening, with what I do, with what I say… And I…’ _ he paused for a moment to search his feelings. _‘And I am happy with her. Maybe dissecting it is not the best idea…’_ he decided as he raised the crop to deliver the third strike. _‘I’ll bring it up soon. In a few days. Someday’_, he decided, part of him fully aware that the end of the world was likely to come sooner.

Soon, the crop kissed the skin of Asuka’s feet again, and the pleasure of watching the redhead’s reaction banished the confused thoughts from his mind.

***

A long, gasping inhalation followed the strike; Asuka’s hands, still holding her ankles, whitened for a moment. “Three! Thank you, sir! Can I have the fourth?” she finally rattled out on a single breath after a good ten seconds.

“You’re very brave, Miss Langley. I commend you”, came a voice from above. “I really hope you will endure the two final ones even better.”

“Thank you, sir”, Asuka replied, her breath raspy. “Can I have them, please?”

Another swish was the only reply. The fourth blow fell and Asuka stifled a scream; she could not tell whether Shinji struck with more force, or just crossed an already-tender line on her soles – but it hurt far more. Still, with the motivation derived from his words, Asuka rattled out again: “Four! Thank you, sir! Can I have the fifth?”

This time, there was no hesitation, no drawing out. The touch, the sound, the strike – all occurred quickly and became one in her perception. A long howl followed; her teeth clenched, and she had to fight down the strong desire to let go of her ankles and kick with her hand. Only her pride stopped her – at a price of her hands going white from the pressure of the grasp. “Fi-ve! Thank you – thank you, sir! Can I have…” she trailed off, aware something was wrong. “Thank you for – for the punishment, sir!” she corrected herself.

“You were exceptionally brave, Miss Langley”, came the _voice_ from above. “You are a good girl, indeed”, the voice turned warm – and Asuka felt herself melting in that warmth once more.

“Thank you, sir”, she whispered.

“You can let go of your ankles… and you can sit up”, the voice ordered. “Your punishment is over… for now”, a mixed note of amusement and threat crept into the voice.

Asuka slowly detached her hands from her ankles and moved the fingers several times, curling and uncurling them. After a few moments, she slowly rolled to her back and tried to sit up; a momentary loss of balance was countered by Shinji’s hand. She looked up for him; the punishment was over, yes, but she was not sure about the scene itself.

“Look at me, Miss Langley”, a command came.

***

The fluttering in her stomach – or, more adequately, the Great Butterfly Migration – returned as she heard the words. She felt odd, soft, almost fluid. He touched her with his voice, and she reacted, sticking to his touch, following it. He directed her, and she took the shape he formed her in. He struck her, and she accepted the blow and stood her ground. An ever-present, but almost always silent part of her mind, one concerned only with observation and science, dryly labeled her state as ‘non-Newtonian, more precisely a shear thickening fluid’.

_ ‘Well, there goes my fear that I lose myself… even now, I remain a genius’, s _ he smiled internally at that assessment, shaking the thought off. _‘I guess that means I can forget the fears about losing my mind – and enjoy the ride.’_

Reassured, she slowly raised her eyes to meet his.

***

“Miss Langley”, Shinji continued as the blue eyes focused on him. “You were brave and took your punishment with a style, and so I’m giving you a choice”, he paused and took a deeper breath. “Hitting your feet would be pointlessly cruel now, and I don’t think the crop is suited for anything else… except one part of your body. Do you feel punished enough for your misdeeds… or do you wish your palms to be caned as well?”

Asuka’s stomach fluttered again and her nether parts suddenly felt all tingly. The mood was still there, and the choice she would make now mattered. She could freely ask for more pain, but no matter whether she did or not, her choice would be accepted and the care – delivered. Her heart sped up, and she suddenly felt light-headed.

Shinji was watching her carefully. “Miss Langley?” his voice was concerned. “Are you all right?”

“I am… fine, sir”, she replied, feeling this word was so inadequate she almost felt like she was lying. “I am… trying to decide, sir.”

“Take your time, Miss Langley. You earned it”, he replied in a _calm_ voice.

***

Asuka took a few deep breaths, slowly calming the chaos in her mind to a deafening silence. She had expected the usual banter, an argument, a battle of forces – but the voices in her head remained silent.

For the first time in a very long time, the decision was hers, and hers alone. 

***

“I would like five more for my hands, sir”, she finally spoke. “Please.”

It was Shinji’s turn to try to calm his heart. A few deep breaths did the trick for him, too… at least for now.

“As you wish, Miss Langley… but keep in mind that this is still a punishment, and will be applied accordingly”, he warned.

“Do you expect me to beg, sir?” she replied immediately, her eyes closed.

“No, Miss Langley… I expect you to endure”, he replied, his voice surprisingly warm. “Please stand up”, he commanded.

She rose slowly.

“Look at me, Miss Langley”, he _spoke_ softly. “I wish you to face the consequences of your choices with your eyes open.”

She obeyed, looking him with a glare he could not decipher. Deciding it could be nothing wrong, he took a step back and extended the crop that it touched her arm. A shiver ran from the spot, along her collarbone, and down her spine.

“No, that won’t do. Striking from above would be too dangerous”, he decided after pondering for a moment. “Pull a chair and sit down”, he directed. “Which chair… is your choice.”

Asuka took another deep breath, walked to the chair she usually used, and moved it directly next to Shinji before sitting on it.

“Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Langley. It will be remembered when we will be discussing your future transgressions”, he spoke, uncertain whence the words came. They were simply flowing from his mind into his mouth. “Now… I want you to put your hands in front of you, palms up.”

Asuka’s body shivered again. _‘He has been reading up… or just growing into the role. I have to ask–’_

“I’m waiting, Miss Langley. You were doing fine until now”, his _voice_ broke her train of thought.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir”, she replied and raised her hands as commanded. Presenting them felt truly strange, unexpectedly exposing. She could not understand why; after all, this was not her bottom that was rather private area, covered at virtually all times, including the nights – well, at least until recently – nor was it the sole of her feet which remained unseen due to purely practical reasons. But for some reason, holding her hands in front of her made her feel bare, exposed, unprotected, almost defenseless.

Which only added to the appeal of the moment.

“I expect you to count, from one again”, he resumed listing of his requirements. “I surely enjoyed your… gratitude, but I leave that to your choice. Is everything clear, Miss Langley?”

“Yes, sir”, Asuka nodded. “I am ready.”

Instead of a verbal response, Shinji rested the crop on Asuka’s extended palms. She fought down a reflex to close them on the length. A dim awareness of having to fight it at least four times more appeared somewhere in her mind before the mean of her torment was raised to strike – and vanished the moment it hit for the first time.

***

The sensation was different than it was with the feet – no less painful, though. To Asuka’s surprise, the desire to wave her hands around, while present, was lesser than the desire to kick with her feet; she suppressed it with ease, limiting it just to the expected downward push caused by the momentum of the crop – her pride demanded that she took the whole punishment without flinching. She requested it, after all.

“One”, she finally spoke, her voice hoarse. “Thank you, sir… can I have four more, sir?”

The crop rested on her palms again.

***

Shinji quickly realized a problem he clearly did not think about before – there was far less functional striking surface on the hand than it was on a foot; hitting the fingers was definitely not an option, and Asuka’s hands were not exactly large. A parade of possible side effects strafed through his mind: skin cuts, nerve damage, torn ligaments, broken bones. He took a deep breath.

“Miss Langley”, he started, his voice almost out of character. “I do not wish to damage you. Do you feel any discomfort… aside the obvious?”

Asuka’s brow furrowed as she balled and opened both her hands. “No, sir. Nothing… unusual.”

Shinji pondered his options before reducing them to the simplest solution. “For safety reasons, the next four will be delivered two on each hand, separately”, he explained to the steadfastly listening redhead. “Put your other hand behind your back, Miss Langley.”

“Yes, sir”, Asuka agreed, only slight confusion heard in her voice as she followed his commands.

The crop rested on her palm again, and she closed her eyes.

***

“Two!” she hissed out. “Thank you, sir. Can I have three more?”

“The other hand, Miss Langley”, a command came, followed by an immediate execution and a sound of the falling crop.

“Three!” she declared. “Thank you, sir. Can I have two more?”

For a moment, Shinji wondered if he was not doing Asuka a disservice by easing his strokes; she seemed to have far less trouble counting than with her feet. On the other hand, she did not seem disappointed. _‘Another thing to ask, I suppose’_, he decided before commanding another hand switch and raising the crop again.

***

“Fi-four! Thank you, sir. Can I have one more?”

“Good catch, Miss Langley. I would hate to hear you miscount… and suffer a penalty for that”, his _stern_ voice made Asuka shiver for a second.

_ ‘Oh yes. I can imagine that. Hands are too risky to play with him like that, but getting some on my feet, miscounting when it’s close to the end and then see him struggle to decide what to with that’ _ , she grinned internally as she awaited the final switch command. _‘I wonder if this makes me a bad…’_ she pondered for a moment over the word to use, _‘ah, fuck it. I’m his sub, let’s just face it. No shame in that’_, she decided with another wave of butterflies flying through her stomach. _‘So… does it make me a bad sub or just a playful one?’_

“Your other hand, Miss Langley.”

_ ‘I’ll think about it later–’ _

***

Shinji Ikari was used to caring for post-punishment Asuka and anticipated her need for a prolonged hugging session. He did not expect the intensity of it, though. The redhead was clinging to him to a degree that invoked the image of a panicked koala bear or a shipwreck survivor clinging to a log in the middle of the ocean. Of course, this intensity was no reason to refuse her. Quite the opposite.

Another surprise was the complete lack of tears after the punishment. When the final “Five! Thank you, sir!” sounded, Asuka seemed to want to throw herself at him immediately – she stopped herself as her legs moved to a jump. Seeing that, he put the crop away in the most visible place possible, went over to the couch, and started: “You did well, Miss Langley. Come to me and receive your deserved hugs.”

And then he realized that the impression of a jump was not exaggerated.

Before he could blink, Asuka vaulted over the couch’s backrest and found herself in his lap; this is when the koala bear impression began.

They stayed like this for a while, her arms around his shoulders and back, his around her waist. At some point, he allowed his hand to slowly creep up her spine and stroke her hair. Suddenly, her whole body shook, and a sob escaped her throat.

“Asuka?” he asked in a worried voice.

She shook her head. “Keep going”, she whispered.

He repeated the move. “I’m with you, Asuka. Don’t worry”, he started talking.

***

His words were flowing; she could not understand half of what he was saying, but it did not matter. He was here, he did what he was supposed to do, she played the role he expected of her, and she managed to stand by it even in the face of very serious temptation. And then he understood what she needed and gave her that.

Her tears were flowing freely, not from the pain, but from the immense relief that has suddenly overtaken her.

***

_ Later that evening _

“Damn it, I fully expected that, but still”, Asuka grumbled lightheartedly.

Even if someone perceptive and aware of their relationship entered the room, they would not notice anything unusual; the implements were stashed away, any evidence destroyed, and Asuka’s face – washed thoroughly with cold water – was just a bit puffy. The only sign that could betray them was her persistent smile, bordering on a grin.

“Mm?” Shinji raised his head from a particularly odd problem he was trying to solve. “Some new kanji?”

Asuka glared at him, her expression unchanged. “Do you see me poking you or digging through a dictionary?” she asked, her eyebrow risen. “No. I very much feel the… welts”, she grinned.

Shinji’s face contracted. “I really hope I didn’t damage anything”, he stated in a worried voice. “We… we should’ve stopped. I’m sorry.” 

Asuka’s glare intensified to ‘are you stupid?’ level. “Bullshit”, she spat out. “You did well to reduce them, yes, I got what I needed, when I needed, and no less than I needed, and it just _hurts a bit_ right now, and I’m telling you that because you have the right to know”, she listed. “If you’re worried about that, though”, her serious expression turned into a smirk, “we can go with the strap on hands. **Then** you could go ballistic”, she finished with a huskier voice.

“We can”, he agreed. “Still, I must say this is not my favorite way of… spanking you”, he added with a smile.

“Mm?” Asuka’s eyebrow raised, accompanied by a curious smile. “What is your favorite?”

“Are you sure you want to discuss it between Math and Biology?” he retorted, his eyebrow raised.

“**You** started it”, she pointed out.

“My mistake”, he admitted. “But… can we talk it… in bed?”

Asuka’s smile beamed. “Yes, if you’ll bear the horrific consequences of discussing it under more intimate circumstances”, she replied.

“I think it’s safe to say I can”, he smiled in reply. “Now… can you help me with that?” he pointed to a started problem in his notebook.

“Talking about a mood whiplash”, she chuckled as she rose to stand next to him. “Show me.”

Shinji smiled as Asuka, seemingly without giving it a thought, rested her arm around his shoulders as she leaned in to take a look. He allowed himself a stray thought before he refocused on Asuka’s explanation: _‘I really don’t know what I did right to have this… but I hope I’m still doing it just as right.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In recent days I went through my calendar, publishing schedule, and this work’s plan and concluded two things:
> 
>   1. There is no way I am going to finish this story in 2020 if it is to be done right. And because I believe in doing things properly once I’m convinced that they deserve it, this story is going to take as many chapters as it needs to take. I was hoping to finish it in one year, but finishing it in a satisfactory way is far more important than conforming to an arbitrary deadline. Thus, the updates will continue past 2020 (barring incidents).
>   2. The five-day schedule is unsustainable. There are far too many unforeseen circumstances, and my writing time is limited. Therefore, effective immediately, I’m moving back to week-long updates. As this one falls on Monday, so will every next one until some further schedule adjustment.
> 
> That being said, coming up next: movie night!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the movie night, so the film references are numerous. I was striving to maintain a balance between “and then they watched the movie” and “retelling the plot with reactions”, but it was sometimes hard to decide what to keep and what to drop. I apologize in advance to people who don’t like Monty Python movies or are unfamiliar with them.
> 
> Also, just to be on the safe side: this chapter contains spoilers to the 1979 movie “Life of Brian”. You have been warned.

_ About an hour later _

“Dinner?” Asuka looked around.

“Ready for re-heating”, Shinji reported. “Evidence of any misdeeds?”

“None in sight”, Asuka replied. “Snacks and drinks?”

“Ready, except popcorn which I’ll start in a moment”, he answered. “Plans for our guardian?”

“Mild spiking for the first one, less or none for later, if applicable. She’ll be exhausted anyway”, Asuka decided. “Plans to ravish me afterward?”

Shinji’s face turned red. “Err…”

“1:0 for me”, she grinned. “Just asking, it may change my opinion on putting Misato underwater.”

“Weren’t we supposed to… talk?” he probed.

“If this _talk_ doesn’t lead to me being _in the mood_, I’d be surprised”, she grinned. “Well, there’s always the gag, or you can always try to torment me by forcing me to endure until tomorrow”, she winked.

“I’m not sure what–ah”, his blush deepened. “I… don’t think that’s something you or me would enjoy”, he replied, his face twitching a bit.

“Likely not”, Asuka agreed with a shrug. “But you never know until you try, right?” her grin returned. “But not right now. Now… I still prefer to enjoy you **raw**”, she took a step towards him and locked her arms around him.

“Asuka, I–” he tried, but got cut off by a very unsubtle and quite hungry kiss.

Realizing the futility of the resistance and the indisputable fact that they did not kiss in the last two hours, he turned to align his body with Asuka’s and reciprocated her affections, adding a full-body hug to the equation. Her subtle purr and unsubtle rub against him told him it was the right thing to do. Even if it meant that their movie night was getting delayed by another ten minutes.

After all, time enjoyed was not time wasted – and there was still plenty of time left.

***

_ Twenty minutes later and about two minutes into the movie _

Shinji’s head was slowly moving to a hard tilt. “That’s… not a very convincing onnagata”, he remarked.

Asuka stifled a giggle and moved a bit to settle her back more comfortably against his chest. “That’s the part of the joke, you know?” she explained. “Get used to that, they do it all the time. Don’t worry, not all women are played by them. Just… most of them.”

***

“So… that’s…” Shinji blinked.

“Nativity scene, the birth of the Messiah, the basis for Christmas, and so on”, Asuka explained.

“It seems a bit… exaggerated”, he commented.

“Get used to that.”

***

“I suppose this is some important Biblical event… except the brawl?”

“Sermon on the Mount”, Asuka explained. “Some say it’s one of the pillars of Christian theology, others decry it as a series of good, but too general instructions.”

“The reactions seem a bit… exaggerated”

“Get–” she shrugged.

“I think I see the pattern”, he interrupted with an odd smile.

***

“Okay, now I get the ‘stoning’ jokes you threw around”, Shinji’s head was in full tilt. “Let me guess… it didn’t look like that in reality?” he asked in a confused voice.

“Well, stoning was used as a means of execution back then, blasphemy **was** serious business, and it still is in some places on Earth… but no, I don’t think anybody got stoned from saying something like that”, Asuka explained. “Also, nobody would **dare** to raise a hand against a high priest like that. But it’s funnier that way”, she grinned.

“Yes… especially seeing the soldiers’ reactions”, he added.

“Well, how would **you** react?”

***

“Okay, that got dark”, Shinji blinked.

“It’s a **dark** comedy”, Asuka retorted as she paused the movie. “Too much?”

“Asuka…” his voice sounded almost hurt, “I know I’m nowhere your levels of resilience to… most things, but I thought you had a better opinion of me”

“Just checking with you, consider it returning the favor”, the redhead chuckled. “This time, it’s me applying the pain… of sorts.”

“So…” Shinji looked at her quizzically. “I say the word and we stop watching?”

“Pretty much”, Asuka confirmed in a suddenly serious voice and with a quick nod. “You thought it wouldn’t apply?”

“Not really”, he admitted. “It’s not… well… a scene?”

“Let’s make it official, okay?” Asuka adjusted her position to look at his face. “So it applies to everything? One of us says the word, we stop what we’re doing and consider.”

“Sounds… good”, he agreed.

“Great. Now I can continue exposing you to The Famous Absurd Torture without further qualms”, she smirked.

“Oh, who will save me”, he exclaimed in perfect deadpan.

“Misato, most likely”, Asuka remarked.

“I see no reason to stop when she’s back, maybe a pause to reheat her food–damn it, we forgot the popcorn!” he suddenly realized.

Asuka’s palm met her face.

“Okay, it’s as good a place to take a break as any. Fire it up”, she commanded.

***

“Are you sure you want Misato to see us get along enough to watch a movie?” Shinji queried as the microwave hum was being accentuated by the sound of popping kernels.

“And how do you imagine hiding it? Especially with the smell of popcorn?” she asked matter-of-factly, shrugging dismissively. “And us scrambling in panic from the couch would only raise more questions. No, we’ll just have to stop cuddling”, her tone clearly indicated what she thought of it, “and act like we have a truce of sorts. You can sell the idea of a movie night as an attempt to make peace with me, and I’ll claim I had chosen this particular one to educate you in my jokes”, the redhead suggested. “Worst case scenario, she’ll demand her own popcorn and to sit with us and watch. I can bear that if you’re there”, she smiled.

“Fair point”, Shinji agreed. “And what’s our version if she starts suspecting something?” Shinji’s question was underscored by a beep coming from the microwave.

“You act sheepishly, I act defensively, and we deny everything vehemently”, Asuka replied.

“She’ll be suspicious, that’s textbook ‘we’re not dating at all, except we do!’”, Shinji shot Asuka a confused glare as he set the bowl with popcorn on the table next to the couch. “And that’s bad.”

“Ha! Yes and no”, Asuka protested. “She’ll be suspicious… of us making first steps towards each other, awkwardly and badly”, she explained. “But **not** where we are already. Am I not ingenious?” she struck a pose, underscored by a grin.

Shinji raised his eyebrow as he settled back on the couch. “Wait… so it’s making her think we’re close to making a move? I don’t see any merit in that. She seems to see… nothing right now, and tipping her off would be… pointless?”

Asuka shook her head as she sat down. “It’s not a fast track. I don’t intend to drop hints or anything, it’s just for the case she’s lucid enough to ask questions. And we give her a suggestion that _something_ might be there, okay?” she explained. “It would only confirm what she might already suspect. Remember the ‘cute together’ line?” the redhead recalled. “She has **some** suspicions, if we act like **nothing** is up, she will finally catch on that we’re hiding something. She is not blind, just pays us relatively little attention. But if we act like **something** is up… she’ll think you’d **never** make a proper move, and that I’m too proud to do it myself. And she **would** be right, under some… other circumstances”, Asuka smirked. “So, we’d essentially just confirm what she already knows. If she starts to suspect more… we’ll throw her another bone, as lean as we can, of course”, she finished. “Point me the flaws in the plan, and I’ll adjust”, she added.

“I… I’ll think about that”, he replied. “So, if she doesn’t suggest anything, we play this”, he gestured towards the TV set, “as some… peace negotiations?”

“Think Weihnachtsfrieden”, Asuka retorted with a smile.

“A what?” Shinji blinked. “A… Christmas what?”

“Oh”, she smirked in appreciation. “The Christmas truce, a series of ceasefires during World War One first Christmas. I can tell you about it later if you’re interested, even if it’s a bit of a sad story”, she offered. “Not that there were many fun parts in that war, anyway. Now, move so I can go back to using you as a pillow with the popcorn bowl in range, and do it before it gets cold”, she demanded. “I intend to watch this movie to its end today, and I intend to do it in the comfort of your arms for as long as possible.”

“Yes, ma’am”, he replied with a soft laugh.

***

“I suppose the whole political debate was exaggerated too?” Shinji inquired.

“Political science is not my specialty, but from what I read, they were like that, fighting each other. Also, Pythons loved to do satire, so the whole politicking in the movie is most likely a jab on the British political system”, Asuka shrugged. “That’s their thing, and I suppose this makes more sense to a historian.”

“Or a British person?”

“Possibly. But only to someone in a certain age bracket.”

***

“Do you require medical attention?” Asuka shifted and face the helplessly laughing Shinji.

Shinji shook his head, trying his best to stifle another paroxysm of laughter.

“Or should I tell you more about my fwiend… Biggus… Dickus?” she added, definitely not helping the situation.

“Asuka?” a familiar voice sounded from the doorway. “Why are you murdering Shinji?”

***

The sound of Misato’s voice immediately sent both of them into combat mode: Asuka scooted away; Shinji’s bout of laughter died out.

“I’m not, Misato. He was about to have a minor heart attack from hearing some Latin”, Asuka explained.

“A… what?” Misato tilted her head as she moved to the living space. “Ah, you’re watching something?” she took a look at the screen with a paused face of a Roman procurator and two soldiers. “Why are you torturing him with ‘Life of Brian’?!” Misato’s tone was a mix of confusion and amusement.

“He consented”, Asuka shrugged. “And he needed education.”

“Right”, Misato shook her head. “And there was a chance he dies from laughter?”

“Hello Misato”, Shinji finally recovered, stood up, and chimed in before Asuka could add anything. “If this was Asuka’s plan, then she’d be forced to cook and do laundry alone. She might be brutal”, he gave her a look, “but she’s not a fool. The food for you is ready, let me just heat it up.”

“Yes please, then I’ll leave you two to your murder – sorry, education – attempts”, she shot them a somewhat confused glare.

“Of course, Misato”, he nodded, heading towards the kitchen. “Will you be joining us?”

“Thank you, Shinji, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea”, she replied in a tired voice as she took her jacket off and was about to head to the bathroom. “It was a long day… you know the drill. Besides, I wouldn’t want to ruin your date”, she winked.

The expression Asuka aptly called ‘deer in the headlights’ was not something Shinji had ever practiced – all the occurrences were natural, in the appropriate moments of surprise. And such was the case right now. “It-it-it’s not a date?” he protested meekly.

“Oh, isn’t it?” she smirked. “There’s a movie, there’s food, and there are two people”, Misato listed. “All that is missing are flowers. Looks like a date to me”, she grinned despite her tired expression.

Shinji’s face went red as he mumbled something incomprehensible and turned to the stove.

Asuka gave Misato a glare. “We’re home, Misato, and does this”, she pointed to her t-shirt-and-shorts attire, “look like a date dress to you? Besides, he’d never ask me out”, the redhead shrugged. _‘Well, nowadays, he most likely would… but we have better ways of spending time, I suppose’_, she smiled internally.

“You never know what hides in a man’s heart”, Misato retorted. “Who knows what hidden depths Shin-chan has”, she wiggled her eyebrows.

_ ‘God, Misato, if only you knew’ _ , Asuka had to force a grin down. “I think I know his depths well enough, thank you”, she replied, happy with the perfectly true statement. “At least I know him enough to trust him in combat, and that is something”, she added in a fully sincere voice.

“I’m still here, you know?” a slightly annoyed voice interjected.

“Yes, yes, Shin-chan, don’t worry, nothing’s said against you here”, Misato reassured him in a flippant voice. “Whose idea was it, anyway?” she queried.

“Mine”, Asuka shrugged. “Shinji suffers from a serious lack of education on pop culture and has serious trouble understanding my refined jokes, so I decided to help him with that.”

“And you started the education with the **Pythons**?” Misato shook her head in disbelief. “It’s like starting hand-to-hand training from ‘defense against stabbing’, but with sharp weapons!”

“Better than to start with ‘defense against fruits’, right?” Asuka retorted, eliciting just a tired glare from Misato. “What? I don’t believe is small steps”, Asuka lied, shrugging again.

Misato shook her head again. “You might be the death of me someday, or at least a reason for me prematurely going gray”, she let out a sigh and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Shinji and Asuka exchanged glares. Two bouts of stifled giggling got lost in the sound of clanking pots and cutlery.

***

“Okay, what was **that**?!” Shinji stared alternatingly at Asuka and the screen in deepest confusion. Keeping a distance while still having her within arms’ reach was not the same, but still counted as _being around her_. Awareness that she will be in his arms the whole night compensated for the current inconvenience quite well.

“That was, in professional terms, a cop-out so they don’t have to think about ‘how a man can escape from a tower’”, Asuka explained. “There’s a reason _Pythonesque_”, she spoke the word slowly, “is a term.”

“Should I get used to **that** as well?” Shinji queried with a confused smile.

“Not to that, this is the oddest scene in the whole movie. So, no, no more aliens in this movie”, Asuka reassured him. “Did Misato got stuck to the toilet, or what?” her voice turned annoyed.

“I think she decided to take a bath”, Shinji supposed. “I heard the water flowing.”

“Before eating? Odd”, Asuka remarked. “Oh, well. She’s an adult, she can handle herself.”

***

“Okay, that’s a bit casual approach to nudity”, Shinji remarked. “And a creative use of a beard.”

“That’s Terry Jones. He tends to do that. And you haven’t seen anything yet.”

***

“Okay. I see your point”, Shinji remarked with his ears red.

“There were places that banned that movie because of this scene”, Asuka added. “And you’re still so too easily flustered”, she added in an amused whisper.

“Let’s say the context was… different”, he tried to mount a defense, his ears still burning.

“Well, yes, in the morning, your face was a _little bit_ redder”, she pressed mercilessly.

“It’s not always I get to behold perfection, right?” he counterattacked.

Asuka’s retort died somewhere on the way to her mouth, her face frozen in disbelief. “Oh. That was smooth”, she finally admitted. “I mean… thank you”, she smiled a warm smile.

“Just the truth”, he added with a similar expression.

“So, it was the right call, costs and collateral damage be damned”, her smile turned into a triumphant grin.

“What was the right ca–”

“I’m coming out, you better not be doing anything unbecoming!” a voice sounded from the bathroom.

The teenagers rolled their eyes in concert.

***

“Don’t worry, Misato, nothing was happening you wouldn’t see in a movie theater”, Asuka commented as their guardian emerged wrapped in towels. “In the morning showings of the kid’s movies, to boot”, she added in clarification.

“Okay, that’s a bit more reassuring”, the woman smiled. “Thank you, Shin-chan”, she addressed Shinji who handed her the dinner bowls. “Asuka, can I bother you for–”

“Yes, yes”, the redhead grumbled. “The bartender is on her way to provide”, she added as she headed to the fridge.

“For a bartender, you’re serving very basic drinks”, Misato remarked, eliciting a slightly worried look from Shinji.

“It’s kind of difficult to make a fancy drink from just beer and a few fruits”, Asuka retorted. “So if you want fancy drinks with an umbrella, you might want to invest in a few bottles of fancier stuff and some syrups. And the umbrellas, of course.”

“I’m sure a genius like you would figure something out even without the ‘fancier stuff’”, Misato countered. “I believe in you!”

“Sure, and then you’d be grumbling that it tastes weird and Shinji here would be wondering where his chili powder was gone”, Asuka set the opened can in front of her guardian. “No, thank you. The bar serves that the bar has in stock, nothing more, nothing less.”

“I don’t think our school would be very happy if Asuka started dabbling in bartending”, Shinji interjected. “They’d suggest a cooking club, I suppose.”

“That I can practice here, with you”, Asuka shrugged. “At least once you let me touch the pans and pots instead of just the knives and boards”, she grumbled.

“All in due time, Asuka”, he replied calmly. “Your cutting was exquisite today, though. I _may_ consider asking you to mix things next time – or maybe even **stir** them!” he added with emphasis.

Misato took a deep breath and rubbed her face. “Am I missing something here?”

The teenagers looked at each other. A few exchanged looks later, Asuka spoke up: “Most likely the old truth that you should eat first, drink later.”

“It’s weird to hear a wisdom about drinking coming out of your mouth, Asuka”, Misato remarked.

“I graduated from college”, the redhead shrugged. “I might’ve been sober, but I heard enough to know how to party safely.”

“I sure hope this was the case”, Misato let out a sigh.

“It was, rest assured. But if you’re going to query me about whether I remained a virgin, I’m going to poison one of the beers you’re getting”, Asuka narrowed her eyes.

Misato gave her a glare that was equally tired and incredulous. “Asuka… I really hope you’re nicer to him than you are to me.”

“Why would I be”, she scoffed. “If he wants me to be a good girl, he can try to _make me_”, she grinned a mean grin before returning to the couch.

Shinji’s only saving grace when he heard those words was the fact that he was facing away from Misato.

***

“That was a tad mean, Asuka”, Shinji remarked once their guardian was in the bathroom again after eating up, downing three beers, and declaring that they can keep watching as long as they keep the volume down.

“Towards you or towards her?” Asuka asked with disdain. “You know what I meant… and she’s an adult who can take a jab”, she shrugged.

“Towards me. Yes, I know what you meant, but had I been facing her at that moment…” he trailed off with a suggestive expression.

“Well, fair point”, Asuka agreed. “That was a bit of a shot. But hey, it’s all true, right?” she smirked. “And you do know how”, she added in a whisper as her eyes turned dreamy.

“Anything for you”, his hand found hers and squeezed it firmly.

“Save that for the bed, darling”, she whispered in a shaky voice. “I don’t want to start crying again.”

“It’s not that I’m beating you right now–” he protested.

“It’s not always about that, in case you haven’t noticed”, she retorted. “But don’t worry, if you ever make me cry for the wrong reasons, there will be no end to your suffering”, she added with a grin.

“I would never dare, and you know that well”, he stated solemnly.

“I’ll hold you to that”, she squeezed his hand back. “But now we should go back to watching before Misato decides we were making out the whole time.”

He nodded and let go of her hand – reluctantly, as she noticed with a smile.

***

“I see what you meant by ‘dark comedy’.”

“Yeah, the second half is a bit darker. But still a comedy!”

***

“Goodnight kids”, Misato interrupted. “Be good and don’t stay up late”, she added with a yawn.

“Goodnight”, they replied in near unison. “There are, like, two scenes left”, Asuka added.

“Ah, yes”, Misato glanced at the screen. “Just… don’t sing along”, she requested with a chuckle.

A sanity-questioning glare and a confused look were the only replies as she disappeared behind the door of her room.

***

“Wait, I’m not saying I’m well-versed in Christianity, but all the pictures usually show either one or three crosses… not dozens”, Shinji noted.

“**That’s** the inaccuracy you choose to pick on?” Asuka chuckled. “Yeah, it’s either not **that** crucifixion – which makes no sense, story-wise – or it’s just another liberty they took… no idea.”

***

“Impressions?” Asuka turned to face Shinji as the last lines of the song turned into music over the credits.

“Really weird, constantly alternating between dark and hilarious… and I suppose I missed half the jokes”, Shinji replied after a moment of thought. “I… liked it. I mean, not that I watch many foreign movies, and it **was** weird… but I liked it.”

“Good. Because this one was the **least** absurd and weird from the three I had planned”, she grinned.

Shinji blinked in confusion. “You mean… it can get worse?” his voice indicated genuine worry.

“Definitely. But don’t worry”, her grin turned into a smirk. “I’ll be there, holding your hand.”

“Then, I suppose, I’ll survive”, he replied, mock relief in his voice. “Say, Asuka”, his tone suddenly shifted and the volume dropped significantly. “Do **you** think of this as a date?”

“There was good company, there was a movie, there was food… I suppose?” she confirmed. “Why?”

“No reason”, he replied. “Except this”, he smiled as his hand went to rest on her neck and she leaned down for a kiss.

***

“Since when you know how to give a girl a good time?” Asuka asked when Shinji entered her room and slid the door close. She was sitting on the stool before the vanity, already dressed in her nightshirt.

“I don’t know if I know how to ‘give a girl a good time’”, Shinji retorted as he approached the bed. “I know what you like, and you clearly enjoy kissing.”

“‘Clearly enjoy’ is a bit of an understatement”, Asuka grinned. “But I assume this is your tendency for subtlety speaking.”

“Well, there are… activities you obviously enjoy more”, Shinji replied, his blush growing.

Asuka chuckled as she reached for the hairbrush. “Oh, yes. But you can’t do them at school… well, not normally”, she giggled. “So, don’t stop”, she demanded.

“I don’t intend to”, he bowed his head. “Asuka… can I ask you something?”

“Since when you’re becoming formal in my own bed?” she raised an eyebrow. “Shoot, and appreciate that I didn’t run you through the ‘you already did’ routine.”

“Oh, your kindness is only surpassed by your beauty, fair maiden”, Shinji bowed his head again, eliciting another chuckle from the redhead. “About today’s punishment… weren’t the strikes too soft in the second part?”

Asuka pondered for a moment. “Not really. I mean, the first one was a bitch, but the others, while weaker, were anything but _soft_”, she answered. “Definitely enough to keep me in the mood”, she smirked.

“Oh, okay”, Shinji seemed relieved. “I was… well, afraid I’d break something.”

“I’m not made of glass”, Asuka retorted, her voice slightly displeased. “You better remember that.”

“I do, Asuka. I see it every time you endure your punishments, and I never forget that”, Shinji replied, his voice firm. “But hands are rather different from your bottom. I don’t hold back **there**, do I?”

“Fair point”, she agreed. “But I’d rather not drop the palms as an option”, her smile returned. “It feels… right”, a blush crept up her face.

“I thought you wanted to treat it as a full-fledged punishment”, Shinji titled his head. “Or do I remember incorrectly?”

Asuka took a deep breath. “It’s… complicated, okay?” she started. “It is. But it’s… different from feet. I mean… I need a few to figure it out.”

“I hope you’re not going to fish for them”, Shinji’s voice indicated his worries. “I mean… well, you know what I mean.”

“All too well, dear, and I’m not stupid”, she put the hairbrush down and turned to face him. “No, I’m not going to. But I’m sure there will be plenty of occasions, knowing me, knowing you, right?” she smirked. “And next time, if you’re worried about injuring me, use the strap on my hands”, she suggested. “Larger surface, spread force, less risk, but still hurts, right? And you can make me bring it separately, just to add to the indignity”, her smirk turned wider as her voice gained a husky undertone.

“That’s… another thing I don’t entirely get myself, and I cannot really work it out… so I don’t think asking you makes any sense”, Shinji admitted.

Asuka let out a sigh. “So far, we both know the same, correct? In the right mood, I enjoy being commanded and you enjoy giving orders. You keep pushing it, step by step, and I didn’t stop you yet, not once. Keep going that… and we’ll someday learn something new. How does this sound?”

“Like the only solution that doesn’t end with me in a cast”, Shinji replied with a small smile.

“And me beaten black and blue for that… or having to pay two hundred in installments”, she retorted. “What’s the count, by the way?”

“Fifty-five”, he replied. “You started the day with forty, then got twenty-five in an hour, then got it reduced by ten by the evening”, he elaborated. “So, two installments. So far.”

“I’m never getting below thirty, am I?” Asuka looked at him with amusement.

“Knowing you, it may take a while”, he agreed. “Thank you for the explanations… and the strap-for-hands is worth trying.”

“Until next time then”, the smile remained on her lips. “Your turn. What is your favorite position for spanking me?” she asked, eliciting a surprised look. “What? You said you’d tell me… and didn’t want to talk about it during homework.”

“Ah, yes”, he nodded. “Sure. Well…” a blush crept up his face. “You over my lap and me using my hand. No contest here”, he admitted, the color intensifying with every word.

“Pervert”, she remarked with a growing smile. “What is it, the ability to touch my bottom, me rubbing against you, or the glimpses of my pussy you catch?”

Shinji’s blush was in full bloom. “Those surely add to that, but it’s… well, most personal? Most intimate? Closest? And… you seem to enjoy it, too.”

“That I surely do”, Asuka admitted, her blush slowly growing. “Good to know”, she stood up and stretched lazily, her shirt riding up a bit.

Shinji’s eyes suddenly bulged as they caught a glimpse of the revealed flesh. “A-A-Asuka?”

“What?” she dropped her arms and refocused on him. “You look like a well-peeled beet, Shinji”, Asuka remarked, describing Shinji’s face rather well. “It’s not that you didn’t see me like that before.”

“Y-y-you had–” he tried before forcing his eyes up.

“I had what?” she tilted her head. “Talk to me… or I’ll lift it again and you’ll have a heart attack”, she threatened as she reached for the hem of her nightshirt.

“Y-y-you looked different”, he managed. “Before”, he added incoherently.

“Is this a subtle way of telling me I’ve gotten fat?” Asuka tilted her head in the opposite direction, her voice carrying a hint of a threat. “Or that the whispered Curse of Eva has made me grow a proper _vagina dentata_ and I missed it in the morning?”

Shinji shook his head, still trying to force his eyes up, aware that the reason for his reaction was still less than half a meter and a flimsy piece of cloth away from his face.

“Okay, I warned you”, she shrugged, and pulled the shirt over her head in one swift move, leaving her completely naked. “Will you talk now?”

Shinji was, obviously, very far away from a heart attack – his young age and a healthy diet were risk-reducing factors; of course, his work was a source of high stress and Asuka’s presence was constantly rising his blood pressure… but those factors were still manageable. Still, his pressure was high – and his blush was slowly approaching luminescence.

“Y-y-you…” he tried again. “Y-you had-had hair t-there. Before”, he finally managed.

“Well, yes, I shaved it off today”, Asuka retorted, matter-of-factly. “But you saw this in the morning”, she added. “Why the reaction?” she tilted her head.

***

Shinji Ikari was a boy used to the world around him being confusing. He was also used to the world around surprising him. He worked several ways of dealing with both of those aspects of his life out, but in most cases, those ways were less than perfect – they allowed him to get by, but never really process them correctly. It was, of course, enough for most of the things he encountered – it allowed him to focus on survival.

Except that in this case, survival was not enough. When dealing with Asuka, merely **surviving** was no longer a sufficient goal. The proper goal was to **grow**, to **learn** about her, to **make her happy**. But this was only possible if he **understood** her.

And the surest way, as she had proven again and again, was to make her **explain**.

Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

***

“Asuka”, he started in a forcibly calm voice. “Please, sit down”, he requested.

“Oh come on, are you afraid to look at a shaven pussy?” Asuka retorted, her voice a mix between amusement, mocking, and still friendly approach.

“Asuka, sit down”, he suddenly _asked_.

To Asuka’s surprise, she obeyed instantly, dropping to the stool even before her brain processed his words on a conscious level. _‘Oh. Damn it. I hate that, and I love that’_, she reiterated her previous realizations. _‘I wonder if… if he understands the power he just exercised’_, she wondered before focusing on his serious face.

“I…” he started again, taking another deep breath. “You surprised me right now, but you said it was like this in the morning… and I trust you with that. So we accounted for that already”, he continued with his eyes closed. “I… am not used to it”, he explained, his voice turning sheepish, “and I’m sorry I didn’t notice it before.”

_ ‘Hm, is this the Old Shinji reemerging, or is he just being logically, if Japanese-like, polite? He hadn’t apologized in a while, not in the way he had before…’ _ she suddenly realized. A moment of silence made her also realize he was waiting for her reply. _‘Okay… let’s roll with “kind of serious”.’_

“There’s nothing to apologize for, darling”, her smile evident both on her face and in her voice. “It just means I stunned you with the sight of me so much that you didn’t notice this… detail”, she smirked.

Shinji opened his eyes slowly, breathing a subtle sigh of relief as he noticed that while Asuka was still naked as a jaybird, her legs were closed. He was angry with himself for reacting to her nakedness like that, but on the other hand, he knew well this was the only logical reaction in his age and state.

“Asuka… you’re the most beautiful woman I know”, he smiled, eliciting a growing blush from Asuka. “And I can only repeat the compliment you just gave yourself”, he continued, his smile growing. “So… yeah, I was kind of distracted, surprised, and stunned. I… I suppose I won’t miss that ever again”, he added. “Just tell me… why? I mean, why did you do this?”

Asuka’s face was a mix of subdued happiness, amusement, and soft embarrassment. For some reason, Shinji found this mix difficult to turn his gaze away from, despite other eye magnets being on prominent display.

“For fun”, she replied after a short consideration. “For myself. And for you”, she added, her smile turning into a grin. “It’ll grow back… but until then, I’m looking forward to sensations”, she added in a husky voice.

Shinji swallowed. “Is this a suggestion?”

Asuka shot him an amused look. “‘A suggestion’ is usually wrapped in some subtlety, Shinji”, she retorted with a smirk. “Either way, it’s not for today. Move aside. It’s bedtime”, she demanded.

“Do you want me to… match your… attire?” he asked as he complied and let her climb the bed.

She eyed his t-shirt-and-briefs look. “Well, you are certainly overdressed”, she replied. “I’d rather you drop one of those”, she admitted. “Preferably both, but I won’t insist on **that**. I can, if you prefer, help you with that, but I have a suspicion that would make as go to sleep rather… late.”

Shinji’s expression indicated confusion before shifting into realization, along with his – already paling – blush blossoming again. “Asuka…” he pleaded.

“What?” she chuckled. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Can’t say that with a clear conscience, darling”, he retorted as he pulled his shirt off and extended his hands. Asuka tried to squash her disappointed expression on the sight of him being still somehow dressed; she did not say anything and just lied down and settled comfortably in his arms.

***

“Shinji…” she started soon after settling her body against his. “I have an idea… with a question attached.”

“Mm?” he expressed his interest as his hands slowly found comfortable-but-fun spots on her body.

“We have a safeword, and it works quite well”, she picked up after a short pause to enjoy his touch. “I mean, we didn’t see much use of it, sure, but it’s still there. What about having an opposite?”

“You mean… ‘fine, keep going’?” he asked, his voice confused. “I thought that was the default?”

“No”, she shook her head. “More like ‘more!’ or ‘is this all you have?’” she explained, a smile clear in her voice.

“You seem to be managing that quite well”, Shinji noticed in a matching tone.

“Sometimes, yes”, Asuka’s smile widened. “But sometimes even my genius mind cannot improvise something in-the-scene, you know? And yelling ‘harder’ is just… kind of crass”, she admitted.

“Okay…” he agreed. “I see the issue. So… an unsafeword? Anti-safeword?”

“Kind of”, she confirmed. “You know colors in German already, right? What do say to ‘Rot’ for that?” the redhead asked, her voice just a bit tense.

“Why aren’t I surprised…” his smile approached a grin. “But isn’t ‘red’ usually for stopping?” he countered.

“We make our own rules and vocabulary”, she shrugged. “Why limit ourselves by other people’s choices? We can go with ‘mehr!’ or ‘Grün’, sure, but again, this doesn’t have the same vibe. So… is there any other reason you don’t like ‘Rot’?”

“None, I suppose”, Shinji agreed. “‘Rot’ it is, then… but I still rather see something come out naturally – or have you ask”, he admitted with a sheepish expression.

“Oh”, her tone of voice turned into a surprisingly friendly mocking. “You would like to see me **beg**? What’s next, forcing me on my knees to kiss your feet?” she goaded, her tone hard to decipher.

“Would you do that, if I told you to?” he unexpectedly asked, his tone suddenly serious. “When the mood was right?”

To her surprise, the question was accompanied by his erection suddenly swelling and pressing against her bottom. _‘Oh. This **does** turn him on. He enjoys seeing me subdued, that I knew that before… but outright **submissive**? It’s a bit different…’_ she furrowed her brow.

She focused inwards, on the fields where armies of her internal forces fought battles, on the repositories of shelved and saved-for-later-that-never-comes thoughts, on the chambers where her voices offered advice. But the fields were empty – she was at peace. The shelves were too vast and too packed to browse now – too many ideas have been stuffed there. And the chambers, while occupied by her usual advisors, remained silent. All she could get was a haughty glare from one side – and a very discreet thumbs-up from the other.

She took a deep breath. _‘Serves me right, doesn’t it?’_ she admitted to herself._ ‘I don’t hate you, you know’_, she addressed the voices, _‘but the way you help… never mind. Not right now’_, she shook that trail of thought off_. ‘I am a trained pilot; I can visualize a scenario. Let’s see where it takes me…’_

She released the held breath and took another – and let her imagination loose.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lemons are back on the table. Caveat lector.
> 
> I promise this is the last lemony day and next-to-last lemony chapter before the plot starts moving again.

Shinji Ikari was often afraid in his life – and it only got worse since he came to Tokyo-3.

There were many factors contributing to that condition – the abandonment, the loneliness, the general bleakness of the post-Impact world – and, more recently, the pressure exercised on him, the piloting itself, and – until relatively recently – Asuka’s presence.

But the last factor has gradually and surprisingly shifted from a fear-inducing to a fear-reducing factor, a factor bordering on empowerment. First, he stopped being afraid of her. Then, he realized her presence made the world less scary. Then, he found out that him being less afraid, him being bolder – actually made her happy.

And he wanted to make her happy.

And thus he asked a question that would – in all probability – be the death of him a few months ago, that would be met with scoffing at best and disgust at worst mere weeks ago.

He asked it and awaited an answer as calmly as he could – even if his heart was pounding heavily in his chest.

***

Asuka’s mind switched into a mode she rarely used now; most of her visualization took place either when she was still in her training, in a time before all her combat reflexes were drilled into her on the subconscious level – or when she was playing out a fantasy while rubbing one out, in a time where she could not gorge herself on a direct, wonderful, nerve-burning stimulation she received from Shinji.

Still, the mechanisms remained capable as they have been for the better part of her life. All she had to do was to provide them with the input data and let her imagination run.

***

_ Shinji Ikari, while not as tall as she was, somehow towered over her. _

_ “On your knees”, he commanded in a calm but impossible to deny tone, gesturing towards the ground with the crop held in his hand. _

_ She obeyed automatically, her knees touching the cold, hard surface of the kitchen floor, the cold being a wonderful contrast to her burning cheeks. He told her only to kneel, nothing else – so she raised her eyes to look at his face. A stern and determined face that seemed older than a boy should have. _

_ “Down”, he gestured again, his voice unchanged. “Show your appreciation to me, girl. Show it in the only way that is appropriate. Kiss my feet”, he pointed with the crop again. _

_ Her face turned even hotter, the blush spreading to her chest. Her gaze slowly slid from his face, down his shirt-covered torso, along the lines of his pants, down to his bare feet. _

_ She knew what she was supposed to do: it was a basic gesture, banal in its simplicity. _

_ But it was anything but easy. _

_ Not that his feet were repulsive – they were perfectly clean and definitely well-cared for. _

_ Not that she did not kiss his skin before – his lips and his neck were often a fair game. Even his hands, after many wonderful things he did to her. _

_ But the weight of the gesture was incomparable. _

_ Yet, it was his command. She could resist the command and be punished; this was quite possible, contrary to what she might have been saying, she was quickly becoming a glutton for punishment. She could stop him with a word and break the moment; this was quite unthinkable, though, a mere thought of that made her feel like an ingrate. She could break his– _

***

A spike of displeasure ran through her mind. This was an unwelcome idea, a pointless thought.

_ ‘I’m running away from the question’ _ , she realized. _‘This won’t do. Focus, Shikinami’_, she told herself_. ‘He deserves an answer. A proper answer.’_

***

_ She blinked slowly as she refocused her eyes on his feet. A soft tap of the crop to her buttock has told her what to do. _

_ She slowly bowed her upper body down, her head coming lower and closer to his feet; her hips rose, turning her face even redder as she became aware of what he was seeing now, of her exposure, of how defenseless she now was. A soft touch of the crop felt like a burning torch against her skin. A stray thought told her that all that lacked was a mirror behind her. _

***

Asuka scoffed at another distraction – and pocketed the thought. ‘_This could be fun’_, she admitted before forcing her mind back on track.

***

_ Her head bowed lower. It was now millimeters from his skin; she was sure he felt her breath brushing against it. She knew it took only a minuscule movement to perform the act – but she was unable to. _

_ The crop started to move: from the skin of her bottom to her tailbone; along her spine; touching her neck; resting on her head. _

_ “Kiss them, girl. Show me how devoted you are.” _

***

Something was wrong. Asuka pondered for a moment before adjusting the scenario.

***

_ “Kiss them, Asuka. Show me what a good girl you are.” _

_ Her lips touched his skin; electricity shot between them, but she did not back out. Slow, deliberate, soft kisses marked his skin. She paid no heed to how she looked, she disregarded all the dignity, she ignored all the appearances. A swarm of confusing feelings suddenly rushed through her mind: adoration, revulsion, lust, anger, love, panic, fear, devotion– _

_ It felt impossible to sort them out; she tried to encompass it. She sought a way to describe them. A single word– _

***

Asuka opened her eyes, the vision fading from her mind as her breath slowly calmed down. “I don’t know”, she finally spoke, her voice sincere, her cheeks still burning – and paused. “Ambivalence”, she suddenly finished. “I’m… pretty ambivalent on that”, she confirmed, confused and surprised by her own answer.

“Then it’s an option”, he replied in a calm, relieved voice. “As long as I can be sure you’ll use the word when it becomes… less acceptable.”

Her body shivered as she blinked in happy surprise. _‘Right. How much have you changed… No, how much have **we** changed, when “lack of ‘no’” now means “maybe, we can try” instead of “let’s not take a chance and forget about it” between us. God, I… now I **want** to try it’_, she realized, sensing a growing heat in her nether parts. She shook it off, considered her words, then nodded.

“It is. But you better make **absolutely** sure the mood is right”, she confirmed as she recalled her imagined reaction, her voice carrying a dangerous undertone. “And I’m not gagged at the moment.”

“I will”, he replied, his voice sincere. “Also, giving such a command while you’re gagged would be pointless, right?”

“How so?” Asuka raised her eyebrows.

“How would you kiss, then?”

***

As the bout of the redhead’s subdued laughter died down, she settled comfortably against the boy that, to her unending surprise, had managed to grow enough and learn enough in a few months to both make her laugh and make her kneel. He still had a way to go – and so did she. But walking it together felt like not that much of a burden. And she felt like taking yet another, small step right now.

“You still didn’t answer my question”, Asuka remarked.

“Mm?” Shinji’s hand caressed her stomach and the underside of her breasts, sending a purr-inducing signal to her brain.

“Hey, don’t try to change the subject”, she hissed with a warmth that completely erased the danger in her tone. “No, on second thought, don’t stop. I can talk while being… cared for”, she substituted the obvious term.

“As you wish”, he retorted with a smile, resuming the interrupted ministrations. “What question, though?”

“Do you like my new… look?” she asked.

“Asuka…” he started, his voice clearly embarrassed – and his erection waking again.

“Mm?” she wiggled her bottom against him.

“I liked your b-bush”, he whispered, his ears turning red. “I mean… I like how you look now, even if it’s a bit hard to look at.”

“Hard to look at?” Asuka chuckled. “It’s not that I’m the Sun or anything.”

“Well, you certainly brighten the room with your presence, and you can burn if you’re handled improperly”, Shinji remarked with a smile.

“Sweet-talker”, she grinned. “And getting better with that. But come on”, she grumbled. “You didn’t say **anything** about liking the Red Lawn.”

“And I thought it was _guys_ who tended to name their… well”, Shinji chuckled in response, eliciting a similar reaction from the redhead. “Well, I like it that w-way too”, he explained. “But… complimenting… well…”

“Too personal?” Asuka’s voice was suddenly doubtful.

“Asuka…” Shinji let out a sigh. “There **are** a few things I would not share with you, but I don’t think there’s much that could be called ‘too personal’, you know?” he smiled as he ran his hand from half-way down her thigh, along her hip, along her ribs, to finally rest it just underneath her breasts; a surprisingly loud purr escaped her lips.

“Fair point”, she pressed her body against his in reflexive response. “So… why?”

“Hm”, he pondered for a moment. “Too… particular? I mean… it just felt wrong? What did you expect me to say?”

“‘Nice pussy, can I pet it’?” Asuka tried, almost delivering the line without cracking.

About two seconds later she found herself in a vice-like grip, her body pressed to Shinji’s – and feeling him shaking in something that was either a seizure or a bout of mad laughter, muffled only by the fact that his face was buried deep in her hair.

“I suppose I would react just as you just did”, she admitted. “Either that or ask you ‘sure, as long as you know how to make it purr’”, she continued, stoking the flames of the paroxysm. “Or maybe ‘wouldn’t you like to feed it some cream?’ if I was feeling particularly brutal. So many possibilities…” she mused before turning her attention back to Shinji: “Do you need medical attention, darling? Should I ease on my deliberations?” she asked as she tried to turn in his grip. The effort was futile, though: his grasp remained vice-like. “I suppose not, you’d tap out if this was a problem, right? So… where was I… ah, yes. I could mention something about it being lonely, cared for only by one lady who would soon get carpal tunnel syndrome if she didn’t get _some_ assistance… Or perhaps ask whether you would like to play with it with a feather, a rod, or perhaps a set of balls…” Asuka continued mercilessly as Shinji’s body writhed behind her, helplessly trying not to sound too loud.

_ ‘I thought making him purr was fun. But making him laugh is even better’ _ , she grinned. _‘Of course, I can have both… after all, tomorrow we have a whole morning to ourselves.’_

***

Shinji Ikari was gradually winding down from the brutal assault Asuka had exposed him to.

He slowly calmed down, mentally reassuring himself that while he could have handled this better, all the issues connected to Asuka’s shaving-related actions were now in the past. After all, tomorrow was bound to be peaceful.

***

_ Sunday morning _

“Rise and shine, darling”, a whisper tickled his ears, along with something that could only be Asuka’s leg brushing against his morning wood. “Let’s set our guardian off to work, and then we can enjoy the day together”, the redhead did not even try to hide her grin.

“Good morning, Asuka”, Shinji managed, half-asleep. “I…” he paused, his face growing red. “I might need to rise indeed”, he admitted, starting to untangle himself from the embrace.

“Let me ask that again… sanitary, or sexual?” she wiggled her eyebrows as he moved to a half-sitting position.

“Both, actually”, he admitted, his ears red.

“Do me a favor”, she requested. “And take care only of the sanitary one, okay? I… want to try something, but I need you… sensitive for that.”

“Um… are you sure?” he paused in his movements on the edge of the bed.

“Trust me”, she smirked. “You won’t regret it.”

“As you wish… Miss Langley”, he finally stood up.

“Oh, you want to play it this way?” she purred. “Is it Christmas already?”

“Asuka…” Shinji chuckled. “We will play it any way that makes you happy”, he smiled.

“Right now, dear, that’d be a breakfast… and you for dessert”, the redhead grinned. “In that order, I suppose, unless we want to shock Misato into a stupor.”

“As you wish”, Shinji bowed as he would to a noblewoman and headed for the door.

***

“…and here you have a snack box. A proper lunch will be waiting for you once you get back… I hope you will be doing no overtime today?” Shinji narrowed his eyes at Misato.

The older woman suddenly felt very strange. She perceived the boy’s tone as almost scolding, but this was a complete impossibility. He was always helpful, friendly, accommodating, caring…

On the other hand, all those adjectives were still describing him. But something was different about him: he was not expressing a soft suggestion that she should not do overtime. He was **expecting** her to act in a certain way.

“Shin-chan… you know it’s not up to me?” she probed.

“I’m aware of that, Misato”, he smiled a sad smile. “But resting is important for your health. And you already said it’s only a half-day today, correct?” his tone remained surprisingly firm.

“It is”, she confirmed. “Shinji… are you feeling all right?” she probed again.

“Better than in a while”, he admitted. “Why?” he asked, his voice confused.

“No reason”, she shook her head. _‘I must be imagining things. He’s a good boy, and this is just the way he shows that he cares’_, she concluded. _‘Now, let’s focus on making sure none of them dies from this next idea of his asshole father’_, she decided as she checked her bag and reached for her uniform jacket. “Thank you, Shin-chan. Be good kids until I’m back, okay?”

“Don’t worry, Misato”, a rather hoarse voice of Asuka chimed in from the bathroom’s doorway; the redhead appeared there wrapped in towels. “I intend to have a morning devoted to caring for my beauty, and I’ll use him only for things he could be helpful with”, she declared.

“Just… don’t burn the apartment to the ground, okay?” Misato sighed. “Or flood it. And, Shin-chan, don’t let her abuse you”, she turned to the boy.

“Don’t worry about that, Misato”, Shinji managed to subdue his wide smile that crept on his face as he heard Asuka’s words. “I can protect myself. Besides, I don’t think Asuka would let me anywhere near her cosmetics. That’s arcane knowledge of the women, not for the boys”, he chuckled.

“Damn right!” a voice from Asuka’s not-exactly-closed door sounded. “And don’t worry, I’m not in a mood to burn anything”, she added.

Shinji shrugged, his expression sheepish – and Misato let out a sigh. “See you in a few hours”, she shook her head.

“Have a nice day!” Shinji shouted after her as the door to the apartment slid close – and turned back to the stove. “Asuka, are you ready? I’d rather not keep this on fire for too – oh, hi”, he smiled as slender hands wrapped around his torso and a soft bite was placed on his neck. “Are you decent enough for me to turn without risking dropping everything from my hands?”

“Unless you’re going to get a heart attack at the sight of my perfect legs, yes”, Asuka replied in an amused voice. “And you’re exaggerating”, she added, her voice softly annoyed.

“Barely, darling”, he put the content of the pan and the rice cooker in separate bowls. “And if the lady would consider letting me go, I shall satisfy her hunger”, he added in an amused voice.

“You mean ‘one of her hungers’”, she grinned as she released her grip and allowed him to turn around.

Shinji noticed that Asuka was truthful in her assessment, but as with many things, her answer was incomplete. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt, one of those she usually wore to bed. He could tell by the way it rested on her that she was not wearing any bra; he could only guess about the panties, but he suspected the answer was negative, as well.

He let out a small sigh and smiled at the same time. Knowing his girlfriend, he was quite certain this was entirely intentional: he was not sure what her intent was, **exactly**, but he could easily assume that ‘provoking him’ was a part of it.

And this was a game he could play – with increasing enjoyment. His smile turned into a smirk.

“Take a seat, Asuka, and enjoy your meal”, he requested, his voice not exactly in _that_ tone, but with a note of command. “And then… we need to talk.”

The redhead raised her eyebrow. “Should I be afraid?”

“I’m not sure about you…” he paused, his smile growing. “But Miss Langley… should.”

Asuka grinned. “Of course, sir. I will listen”, she replied in a soft, subdued voice before returning to her usual tone. “But first, food”, she reached for the chopsticks.

Shinji smiled and gave her forearm a soft stroke as he sat down over his own bowls.

Her reply that came in a form of a warm smile and a wink suddenly made this rather sleepy and relatively routine morning far better.

***

“Okay, so what do we ‘need to talk’ about?” Asuka asked as she put the bowls into the sink.

“I’d rather do the dishes”, Shinji objected.

“Let’s do it this way, assuming you don’t suffer from a compulsion to clean them right away: we leave them like this… and **I** do them while you do the lunch-and-dinner work you’d not give to me”, she suggested. “And now, I’d rather have you for myself”, she smirked.

“You may come to regret this urgency”, his expression matched hers.

“Oh come on”, she chuckled. “As if the waiting wasn’t worse.”

“Fair point. As long as you **do** clean them later”, he agreed.

“Come on, I might be a needy wanton and a mean bitch”, she grinned, “but a liar am I **not**”, she declared, her voice gaining an aggressive undertone.

“Aaaand this is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about”, he let out a sigh, his smirk turning into a smile.

“Okay”, she tilted her head and took a step back from him. “Want to sit for that?”

“I suppose”, he nodded as he took her hand and led her to the table. “Long story short”, he started, “your… _technically true_ statements, while amusing, carry a certain risk”, he stated. “A large risk.”

“Of what?” she raised an eyebrow, her tone confused.

“Of Misato noticing or getting a wrong idea”, he elaborated. “Not because of how you say it”, he raised his hand, seeing her open her mouth, “but because of how **I** react to it. I… I’m not that good at improvising excuses to my sudden bouts of laughter or shock”, he admitted.

“You have a great poker face, though”, she countered. “It’s kind of your national trait, isn’t it?”

“Yes and no”, he shook his head. “First of all, that’s a stereotype - it’s a very individual thing. Second, I might be less expressive, but Misato will be able to read the cues better than you do. And even you saw my reactions, didn’t you? Yesterday, for example?”

“Fair point”, she agreed. “But those are just words”, she countered. “Not that serious impact as, well, my perfect body”, she smirked.

“**Just** words… _Miss Langley_?” his eyes narrowed and his lips curled in a twisted smile.

Asuka’s stomach fluttered and her nether parts tingled. She could feel her ears burn. _‘Oh. Fuck. Right’_, she closed her eyes as she realized his point.

“Okay. Fuck me and my sense of humor, right?” she let out a sigh. “So… what you’re saying is ‘cut on the jokes lest we are fucked?’”

“Yes… and no”, his smile returned to its usual warmth. “Don’t use them when there’s a risk that Misato can see me. I, on my part, will try to exercise better self-control… but doing both makes it safer, right?”

“Huh. An exercise in combat awareness. I can do that”, she agreed with a nod. “**That** was your dreadful ‘we need to talk’?” she raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not done”, he smirked. “I’m adding ten to your count for this endangerment”, he declared.

“Ten?” she asked, her voice an odd mix of surprise and happiness.

“It was an endangerment. We can discuss that, though, if you disagree”, he explained.

“Hm”, her face assumed a sulky expression as she pondered for a few seconds. “No. I’ll take it”, she agreed. “You’re not wrong. I still think we’re safe… but hey, it’s your role to judge, and mine to take the punishments, right?” she grinned.

He tilted his head. “That’s… a bit of a surprise”, he admitted.

“Why? When I think you’re being unjust, you’ll know”, the redhead shrugged. “Until then, I trust you. Besides… it’s not that you said ‘fifty’ or something.”

“Thank you”, he smiled. “But I’m not done still… five more for the language just now.”

“I’ll take that too”, Asuka giggled. “Let’s see… am I already at seventy? Fifty-five after yesterday and fifteen now?”

“Correct”, he nodded and his face assumed a ponderous expression. “Asuka…” he started again after a moment. “With this accumulation… is there even a point of keeping a count?” he suddenly asked.

“What, is the math too much for you?” she raised her eyebrow and poked his side.

“Hardly”, he smiled. “It just keeps going up.”

“I know”, Asuka shrugged. “But always for good reasons, right?” her voice suddenly turning serious. “Still, goes down, too. So… unless you really hate it for some reason or it’s too much of a burden, I want it to stay this way.”

“You like to see the sword…” he paused and smiled again, “the strap hanging over you?”

“Sort of?” she smiled again before her voice assumed a dramatic tone. “To persistently think of the strap, suspended perilously over my delicate bottom, to experience a perverse pleasure of lying wide awake at night, calculating the installments and imagining the horrible, **horrible** pain you’re going to inflict on my fair, maiden flesh… oh”, she made an exaggerated scenic gesture. Shinji raised an eyebrow, his amusement obvious. “Where was I… yes”, her expression returned to normal. “I like it. It’s… ours”, he explained as if this was all the reason she needed.

Shinji just nodded with a smile; it seemed that it was for him, too. “Fine for me. Now…” he took a deep breath, his stomach fluttering. “You had something planned, correct?”

“Oh, yes”, her smile turned into a grin as she took his hand. “We have about half a day to ourselves. Do you know what that means?”

“That you most likely have an idea that will make my blood pressure spike, cause me to blush wildly, and then agree to it, because it **does** sound fun, just… transgressive?” he tried.

“Well, you’re not **wrong**”, she chuckled. “Objections?”

“I haven’t heard the idea… yet”, he remarked.

“Fair point again”, she agreed and stood up. “Well…” she turned around and stretched with her hands in the air and her shirt riding up. Just as Shinji had suspected, she was entirely naked underneath – and, as usual, he could not take his eyes off her perfect, still healing bottom. His body reacted just as predictably – with a soft blush and a growing tension in his pants.

A while ago, he would also have panicked, or at least felt uncertain what to do. Not anymore. He stood up, walked around the table, and settled against it, less than half a meter from the subject of his appreciation.

“Do you want me to match your… attire?” he asked.

“Not if you don’t want to”, she remarked as she turned around, her arms dropping and her shirt following suit. Shinji was both relieved and disappointed, but he was left mercifully little time to contemplate that as Asuka leaned for a short kiss. “But I wouldn’t mind if you did”, she added with a grin once their lips parted. “I actually have a request… sir”, her tone changed.

“And what is it… Miss Langley?” he slid into the role.

“Please allow me to undress you”, she leaned further and requested in a husky whisper to his ear. “As far as you feel comfortable, of course”, she added, backing up and locking the glare of her blue eyes with his own.

***

Shinji swallowed. There was a time when he gave in to Asuka’s _demands_ due to his fear of her; those times were in the past. He usually gave in to her _requests_, because when she was requesting things, she was usually reasonable and within her rights to do so; this has not changed. But not being fearful of Asuka also robbed Shinji of one very important thing: his anger directed at her, anger that protected him from giving in to her _pleads_.

Those were almost non-existent before, when they were on _barking_ terms. Once they moved to _speaking_ terms, they began – and then he noticed those were hard to refuse. And now they were on _sweet-talking_ terms – and he suddenly found them to be impossible to refuse.

Not with the amount of hope, desire, and intensity expressed in those eyes.

The fact that his body was sending him very approving signals – he could swear he felt phantom hands running along his body – only added to the argumentation.

_ ‘So here it comes, another step’, _ he realized. _‘I can always stop her if something goes wrong, I have the word’_, he misled himself, a part of him perfectly aware he would never interrupt it unless she did something truly outrageous or heavily discomforting._ ‘And I suppose this is what this is supposed to be for…’_ he realized before returning his attention to the surprisingly patiently waiting redhead.

“Your wish is granted… Miss Langley”, he replied in a low voice and watched the smile spread across his girlfriend’s face. “But there’s one condition”, he suddenly added with fluttering in his stomach, eliciting a confused look from her. “You may only undress me to match your… attire”, he finished with an increasingly mean smirk.

The look in the beautiful blue and dangerously narrowing eyes told him this had been the right call to make.

***

Asuka purred softly at his words; her stomach fluttered in concert. _‘I could kiss him right now… oh, wait. I **can**’_, she grinned and took his lips again, far less subtly than before, if similarly short. “As you command, sir”, she replied in a low voice as she straightened, turned around, and reached for the hem of her shirt.

***

Shinji swallowed again. This time, he knew perfectly what to expect – but the fact that you are aware you are staring at the sun does not change, in the slightest, the fact that you are, well, staring at the sun.

Despite this imminent threat of having them burned out, his eyes remained glued to Asuka’s form: first, to her hands as they grasped the fabric, then to her perfect, still bruised bottom, then to the lean silhouette slowly revealed by the retreating shirt, then to her just-perfectly-muscled shoulders – and finally to her wonderful hair falling in a fiery waterfall after they have been released from the shirt; a shirt that Asuka carefully tossed on the armrest of one of the chairs.

***

Asuka was, obviously, unable to see Shinji’s expressions from her current position – but she could easily hear his soft gasp and mild sounds of approval. _‘I wonder if I could get him to wolf-whistle me’_, she giggled internally. _‘I don’t know what I’d have to do to provoke him into that… I guess it’d be easier if I explained the subtleties of “from you to me, it would be a compliment instead of an incredibly rude gesture” to him – but that’s for later’_, she decided. Now, she had to decide how to approach him: as a demure, almost shy girl that would be somewhat fitting her ‘Miss Langley’ submissive approach… or just as Asuka, the Red Demon who was hungry for human flesh, a lustful monster in a dire need of being filled–

She chuckled to herself. _‘I admit I’m a bit… voracious lately, but let’s not go straight into succubus territory’_, she chastised herself._ ‘Although ripping those clothes off him and jumping him to ride him for as long as he lasts would be… lovely. Pity that most likely it would be a contest what would last shorter, him or the table…’_, she chuckled again. _‘Not to mention he’d either explode or depart via the window. No. I know just the right thing to do…’_

***

Shinji Ikari watched in rapt fascination as his now-nude girlfriend slowly moved her arms up and started to stretch. His eyes started to bulge when she – still in her stretch – started to turn around, finally presenting her well-toned body in all its glory. A step towards him later, her forearms rested on his shoulders and her lips once more on his, starting a slow, languid kiss he reciprocated carefully. It took him about two seconds to decide that this was an invitation that should not be refused – and rest his hands on her hips that became starting points for random and bold excursions all around her back and sides; a soft purr that radiated through her mouth to his told him his gesture was appreciated.

Asuka broke the kiss for a moment. “How much tearing the buttons off would cost me, sir?” she purred in a low, playful voice.

“At least five on your feet… Miss Langley”, a stern voice retorted. “_For each_”, Shinji added as his hand rested on Asuka’s neck. “I _might_ be convinced to reduce that _just_ to five on your feet for all of them… if you sewed them on back properly”, he continued, his hand slowly worming up between the strands of her hair. “But I’m afraid that would be a long, long exercise. Be a good girl and unbutton them properly… before I tell you to do it properly _and with your_ _mouth_”, he finished.

The redhead’s initially surprised expression turned into a grin as her hands moved along his shoulders to his chest. “Yes, sir”, she replied. _‘It seems that this time, Miss Langley is a bit of a brat… but let’s not overdo it… yet.’_

Unbuttoning Shinji’s shirt was a quick affair, even if Asuka maintained eye contact with him at all times; the next step, though, namely undoing his pants, required a bit more of her attention. _‘Let me guess, I’m in the position he’d be if I was wearing a bra?’_ she noticed with amusement. It took her few long seconds – but a brush against something warm, twitchy, and separated from her hand only by a thin fabric told her she succeeded. From then, removing his shirt was a simple affair. For a moment she was tempted to just toss it away, but this was likely to derail the scene – in an interesting direction, no doubt, but still away from what she had in mind. Thus, she decided to just hang it on the closest chair before turning her attention to her boyfriend, with special attention to his rarely exposed chest and shoulders – and his increasingly blushing face.

_ ‘I wonder how aware he is that this whole body he’s currently so bashful about has a potential to turn quite nicely… I don’t know about his mother, but seeing his father and considering our physical regime, he’s going to have really nice, broad shoulders… quite soon’ _ , she mused as she rested her hands on his shoulder. _‘Not that he needs them to do what he does best’_, she realized with an internal grin as her hands slid down his shoulders, shoulder blades, and back in the way to his waist before sliding between the waistline of his pants and his briefs. A careful pull moved Shinji away from the table far enough to pull them down; two steps later and a swift move on her part, they were hanging from the chair. Asuka took another quick look at her boyfriend. _‘Hm, they say that a man in socks looks stupid… but somehow I don’t see him that way’_, she considered. _‘Okay, those stay. Now… for the main dish’_, her grin remained unwavering.

***

Shinji’s skin felt like it was burning when Asuka’s – by all reason, just warm, but the reason did not apply well when a hot girl was undressing you – hands slid under the waistline of his briefs.

It would be not the first time she would see him so naked – but Asuka had this odd ability to push things step by step, none of the steps being too big to really resist – until he found himself a long way from the place he started. He did not **mind **it, exactly – but the facts were indisputable.

On one hand, he was aware this should worry him, somehow.

On the other, this clearly made her happy while not making him miserable or even unhappy. Quite the opposite – the burning sensation was accompanied with a pleasant shiver and – obviously – a growing erection.

He lifted his bottom just enough to make the undressing simple; two steps later he was standing in front of his girlfriend, only minimally less naked than she was.

“Do you find this result satisfactory, sir?” a question reached his ears as Asuka rose up and placed his briefs atop his pants. He suppressed a smile that came with the realization that she suffered from about the same trouble keeping her eyes on his face as he did.

“Yes, Miss Langley”, he replied in a solemn tone. “I believe you had something in mind”, he continued, his voice shaking just a bit. “What was that?”

“I would like a second breakfast, sir”, the redhead declared, eliciting a sudden head tilt from Shinji. “Directly from you, sir”, she quickly added, her eyes downcast.

_ ‘No, not downcast’ _ , he realized. _‘Looking at–’_

His erection grew reflexively.

***

Asuka’s grin, suppressed momentarily by her speaking in a more submissive persona, returned in full force at the sight of Shinji’s reaction.

“Now, sir, I see you’re appreciative of my request”, she resumed. “But first, I need to ask you two questions. Can I?”

“Y-yes, Miss Langley”, he managed, his voice shakier.

“First… how scandalous you want to go? My room? The kitchen?” she paused. “Headmistress room?” she added in an amused tone.

“Kitchen will do just fine, Miss Langley”, he replied. “Let’s… not rouse the headmistress ire”, he picked up the joke.

“Yes, sir”, she nodded. “Second: how uncomfortable do you want me to be?” she asked, her stomach handling another Great Butterfly Migration. She felt like straying into the wilderness again; taking a deep breath before resuming: “Bend over the table? Kneeling on the hard tiles? Or will you show mercy and let me use the couch?” she managed in a husky voice.

***

Shinji closed his eyes. He felt something was wrong, but he could not point out what. Still, that something was stopping him from giving the order. Hurting Asuka was one thing, causing her discomfort was another thing entirely.

He shook his head; reconciling this obvious paradox was going to take a moment, a moment he did not have right now. _‘Safe choice it is. And another subject to the list…’_ he decided.

“I don’t want you to suffer, Miss Langley. Well, not right now”, he smirked. “I would prefer to have your mind to be fully focused on… me”, he declared.

***

“Mm”, Asuka’s grin widened. “I mean: yes, sir!” she corrected herself. “Would you please sit comfortably on the couch, sir? And allow me… access?”

Shinji took a deep breath. “Of course, Miss Langley. Let me just get a towel–”

“Oh, no need to”, the redhead grinned. “I won’t let a drop escape.”

“You know what will happen if this proves untrue?” Shinji raised an eyebrow threateningly.

“Yes, sir. You will either cane me, force me to clean it, or both”, Asuka looked down.

“Correct. Do you stand by your assessment, Miss Langley?” his voice was unchanged.

“I do”, she confirmed as she raised her eyes to meet his.

“No towel then, Miss Langley. I trust your judgment”, his smile returned as he turned to walk towards the couch.

***

Asuka recalled the lesson she learned last time: when you find **the** spot, focus on it. _‘Not that different from a girl, right?’_ she realized. _‘It’s just the spots and anatomy are different… But before we get to the spots, I need to have him in the mood. Not that there’s much needed for that…’_ she smirked as she saw Shinji’s erection rising at her approach.

Kneeling in front of him, she took a probing lick. “Asuka…” he whispered.

“Oh, no, sir”, she smirked. “Not right now.”

His eyes focused on her, his voice suddenly _changed_. “Of course, Miss Langley. Please, proceed. I expect nothing but the perfect performance of you.”

“Yes, sir, of course, sir”, the smirk turned into a grin. “Any particular wishes?”

“Yes, Miss Langley. I wish you’d use your perfect lips for my pleasure… instead of asking questions”, he retorted. “And the next words I want to hear from you is ‘yes, sir’… or the safeword.”

“Yes, sir”, she purred, adjusted her position, and slid her lips down his shaft, her tongue starting an exploratory dance.

A long, loud gasp told her this was indeed the correct answer.

***

Shinji was the first to break the silence.

“I read it can taste horribly… you don’t seem to mind, though?” he probed, recalling Asuka sealing her lips tightly around him and swallowing every drop, just as she promised.

“I don’t know about others, so – no comparison”, she shrugged. “But I like yours, trust me. Maybe it’s your diet, maybe it’s your genetics, and maybe it’s you”, she smirked, raising her head from his thigh to which she clung afterward. “Want to check?” she licked her lips.

“I thought you swallowed it all”, he raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I did”, she scoffed. “The aftertaste is still there, though”, she added with a smile.

“Won’t you run in panic?” he asked, his voice doubtful.

“I’m past that, right? And it’s me who is offering now, consciously”, she replied; her tone would sound annoyed if it was not so pleased.

His embarrassed smile turned into a serious expression as his hand touched her cheek. “Kiss me, Asuka.”

Her eyes narrowed as a predatory smile emerged on her face. She wasted no time; it was not a case of lips touching lips, it was a full-on assault as she jumped him, her hand grasping his neck and her tongue invading his lips. He could only reciprocate the kiss, his hand slowly creeping into her hair.

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami was listening to a beating of a heart, a heart that was very dear to her. It was still something very odd for her – she never considered she would have someone close, a boyfriend, a partner, a lover–

_ ‘Halt. If I told him how I feel now, he’d think I’m high from my arousal. And he’d be right, not that it affects my feelings. But let’s not rush it. We have time…’ _ she slowly adjusted to a little bit more comfortable position. Lying on his chest was a bit awkward due to her being taller than him, but her trained and capable body adjusted readily.

“I could stay like this forever”, she finally admitted after long minutes of silence. “Pity that we have to… well. Get dressed soon”, she grumbled.

“Afraid you’d not be able to focus with me in naked apron?” Shinji smiled down at her.

“That too”, she admitted. “And afraid you’d f-mess up the dinner with me running around naked.”

“Oh. Right”, Shinji realized the truth in her words. “Well, we can stay like this for a while still, I suppose. I think we’ll hear Misato’s car screeching in.”

“Possibly. So… your evaluation this time?” Asuka asked.

“Still heavenly”, Shinji chuckled. “Asuka, this is not a question with a straight answer, okay? Let me… enjoy some of them before I can have a comparison.”

“Mm, with pleasure”, she licked her lips before returning to a grin.

“It’s not what I–” he tried as his blush returned. “No, you know? This is exactly what I meant”, he corrected himself. “But I’d rather be able to, you know…”

“Order me in a worse position, next time?” she raised her head to shoot him a playful glare.

Shinji let out a sigh. “Reciprocate”, he retorted. “But since you mention it… I don’t know. Spanking you until you cry is one thing, caning your feet is similar to spanking, but making you deliberately… uncomfortable?” he probed. “When you give me the most heavenly pleasure I can imagine? Why would I?”

_ ‘“Most heavenly pleasure”… wait until you get to fuck me’ _ , she grinned internally before shelving the thought. “Ah. Yes. Because I asked you to, didn’t I?” she supported herself on her arm and looked in his eyes. “Listen, Shinji”, she started in a more serious voice. “I’m not your slave, and I will never be. I’m your partner, now and forever” she continued. _‘Let’s not go with “till death do us part” yet, okay?”_ she chastised herself. “So… maybe I’ll hate that particular thing, but I’m willing to try. So… I’ll be doing odd things and risk punishment, and I expect you to do weird things… and risk resistance… and then break it. Okay? How does this sound to you?”

“Like a risky idea”, he replied, eliciting a hint of disappointment on her face. “And one I would like to try”, he added.

“Thank you”, the grin on Asuka’s face returned.

Shinji tried to say something else, but the lips, teeth, and tongue of the assaulting redhead made it completely impossible.

***

“You still didn’t answer my question, Asuka”, Shinji pointed out when, to chagrin of them both, they finally rose from the clingy embrace. “I’d like to… reciprocate…” he managed with his blush returning, “and not leave you… well, hanging for the lack of better word.”

“‘Wet and unused’, would be supposedly better”, Asuka chuckled as she stepped closer to him. “Do you want an honest answer or a diplomatic one?”

“Hm, let me guess, you don’t believe I can do it in the time we have left?” he raised an eyebrow.

Asuka tilted her head. “Darling, I’m about two minutes of my own ministrations from an orgasm”, she replied. “But here’s the catch: I’m quite sure your lips and mouth would feel wonderful, and I’m itching to try them… but let’s say it this way: you’d prepare me a gourmet dinner, while now I want a big, juicy hamburger, because I’m **hungry**”, she explained.

It was Shinji’s turn to tilt his head and blink in confusion. “Plain language, Asuka, please… my blood is pretty far from my brain”, he shot a short glare down, eliciting a small giggle.

“Fair point”, Asuka agreed with a chuckle. “That was quick. Must be my charm”, she remarked off-handedly before refocusing on him. “Okay. If you want to reciprocate, and I’m more than open to that idea, throw me to the couch – no, backtrack that, too many stains possible, girls cannot be contained as easily as boys – put me on the table or bend me over it and go ballistic on my clit.”, she instructed without a hint of hesitation. _‘The Red Slut in action, now shameless in her tongue, too!’_ she realized without a drop of remorse.

“Won’t it… hurt?” he hesitated. “I read that–”

“Ah. Right. Obvious things are not”, she realized. “All right. Decide where and how do you want to have me… and I’ll– Shinji?” she probed as she noticed her boyfriend was listening intently – but not to her.

“Misato’s car”, he stated, his voice tense. “We have–”

“–about a minute.”

***

“I’m home!” a tired but chirpy voice of Misato Katsuragi announced her presence.

“Welcome home!” Shinji leaned out from the kitchen, greeting her over the unusually loud radio music. “My father has shown mercy, I take it?”

“Indeed. We had a meeting, we reported, and then he decided that since we caught up with the schedule – more or less – we’re free to start phase two on Monday instead of suffering the Sunday overtime”, Misato explained as she took her shoes and jacket off. “Which, of course, still means I’m likely to be working odd hours, but at least not on the weekends. Where’s Asuka, by the way? Did you guys fight and made her run away?” she took a look around as she entered the kitchen area.

“No, Misato, we did not fight”, Shinji replied, fighting to keep his voice stable and appropriately exasperated despite being on the verge of panic. He was quite sure they managed to destroy all the evidence pretty well – keeping the order across the scene made it easy – but a minute was too short a time to double-check. “She’s in the bathroom. She said something about ‘beauty time’ and threatened vicious murder to anyone who disturbed her”, he managed to deliver the version Asuka rattled out less than a minute ago without a single misstep. “Not to mention, if anyone would be running away it would be me, not her”, he added in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Oh, I see”, Misato chuckled. “But are you **sure** you’re not the reason for that ‘beauty time’?” Misato probed, her eyebrow raised.

_ ‘Well, the problem is that I am’, _ Shinji realized, feeling a blush already creeping up his ears; he suddenly became aware that the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver might be harder than he thought.

Letting out a sigh and grasped the knife handle harder to hide the fact that his hands were shaking, he spoke up: “Misato… I’m not sure how could I contribute to Asuka’s beauty. She has no reasons to get any prettier.”

Misato’s face looked for a moment as if she had been served her vinegar instead of beer; she contained it quickly. “Have you said that to her?” she asked.

“Should I?” Shinji looked sideways towards his guardian. His ears were burning, but at least now he could explain that with the subject of the current discussion. “She’s constantly attracting boys who actively adore her”, he stated. “She doesn’t need **me** to tell her she’s beautiful.”

“Tell her”, Misato countered. “You’d be surprised.”

“I’m sure I’d be”, Shinji chuckled. “And it’s not impossible it would be with a slap to my face. It’s an improvement over a kick to the head, I suppose”, he shrugged.

“Have you thought about talking to her about that?” Misato asked in a sincere tone.

Shinji put the knife down and turned to face his guardian. “Misato, can you imagine me **trying**?” he asked, his voice incredulous. _‘Not to mention, **you** are the one that is responsible for us, it should’ve been **your** responsibility to set her straight once she got aggressive. If not for her gnawing conscience, her insane idea, and my willingness to take a leap into the madness, I’d be most likely broken and mentally mangled from her assaults by now’_, he concluded, managing not to throw that bitterness in the face of the unexpecting woman.

“Well, you’re certainly getting better at standing your ground”, Misato smiled a genuine smile. “I suppose I **can** imagine that. Fortunately, she’s getting a bit more mellow nowadays.”

“I’m sorry, could you not give me sneezing fits?” an annoyed voice sounded from the bathroom corridor, making heads turn in that direction. The door seemed to be cracked open, but Asuka was still inside. “At least have the decency of waiting for me until you discuss me, okay?”

“If you’re done, I could use your help with the vegetables, Asuka”, Shinji chimed in before Misato could say anything. _‘Okay, this might’ve been **a little bit** too brutal’_, Shinji realized a bit too late, quite certain what she was doing in her room.

“Do I **look** like I’m ready?” the voice became even more annoyed.

“I… don’t see you”, Shinji retorted.

“My point exactly”, the voice hissed. “Oh, fuck that”, she added; a few more rustling sounds followed before Asuka emerged wearing a bathrobe, her hair in a simple ponytail, the skin of her face wet. “Where’s the bitch I’m supposed to murder?”

Shinji blinked for a second. “Here?” he pointed to two large beetroots he just finished peeling with one hand – and holding another on his chest, fingers spread. Asuka acknowledged the latter gesture with narrowed eyes and a twitch in the corner of her mouth.

“Ah. And I thought you needed defending from a vicious assault”, Asuka raised her eyebrow at confused Misato. “Hello again, by the way”, she smiled a short, aggressive smile before heading to the kitchen tabletop and grabbing a knife.

Misato shook her head. She stopped wondering whether the benefit money was worth putting up with the antics of those two long ago; she was definitely paid too little for that. Now she was wondering whether her attachment to them was strong enough to bear that – so far, though, the answer was positive.

_ ‘And to think I wanted to have children when I was younger…’ _ she shook her head as she headed to the bathroom.

***

Asuka took a quick look at the bathroom corridor before speaking in a whisper. “As I’m getting my ass whacked for that either way, fuck you. You dare to say **I** put **your** self-control to test?” she started with an aggressive tone, mitigated only by a grin on her face.

“Well, you managed to be quiet, right?” he retorted.

Asuka glared at him, confused – before the realization set in. “Not, I did not, Shinji-dear”, she countered. “I was talking about your ‘five more’ gesture. And this…” her grin returned as she rubbed her hip against Shinji, “this, darling, is what I’d call ‘unfinished business’”, she added in a purring tone before resuming her violent assault against the beetroot. “And let me tell you how I intend to have it taken care of…”

Shinji swallowed after hearing just a part of her plan. _‘Oh my. This day is going to be… fun. This or another way.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut about 1500 words of a sex scene that brought surprisingly little to the character development and while fun, started to feel excessive.
> 
> Next chapter: the final lemons, at least for now. And perhaps even some plot!
> 
> Also, some bad news: due to a pre-Christmas crunch at work, I have a little less time on my hands than I anticipated, which obviously includes less time for writing. As a result, I’m pushing the time between updates to nine days. Expect the next chapter around the 23rd of December. Then I’ll see whether this change lasts or I’ll be able to return to the seven-day cycle. I apologize for this, but it was either this or butchering this chapter for content to shift to the next one so I could publish it sooner – and this just felt wrong.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some lemons are still left on the table. Caveat lector.
> 
> Also, just to be on the safe side: this chapter contains spoilers to the 1975 movie “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, with all that entails. You have been warned.

_ Sunday afternoon _

“Asuka, please!” Shinji pleaded, his voice tearful, his expression pained. “Do you really **have to** be like this?”

“Don’t you ‘please’ me!” Asuka hissed, the volume of her voice unpleasantly high, her face a scowl, her eyes narrowed in anger. “You **knew** I liked this dress, you **knew** I wanted to wear it today, I even **told** you that, and you didn’t have it **ready!** Thank you **very** fucking much for **fucking up my** **day**!”

“Asuka, language…” Misato remarked from over her papers spread across the table. “And please keep it low, I’m trying to work here”, she added, gesturing to the spread files.

“And **you** are **useless**! You’re a woman, you could at least **explain** to him why this is important!” Asuka followed Misato’s request on volume to a minimal degree. “You know what?” her tone turned vitriolic instead of angry. “Fuck that. I’m going for a walk. And **you**”, she pointed her finger at Shinji, “**you** better **not** fuck it up next Sunday, or there will be** blood**”, she snarled and slid the door to her room close with enough force to make the whole wall shake.

Misato let out a heavy sigh and shot Shinji a sympathetic glare. Shinji just shrugged with a resigned expression and turned back to the kitchen tabletop.

As Asuka stormed out of her room and the apartment two minutes later in a huff and without a word, he started the six-minute timer.

***

“I need to go to get the groceries, Misato”, Shinji declared as he switched the timer off, set the stove to a minimum flame, and turned to face his guardian. “Can you save this if it overboils? It should not, but I’d rather someone kept an eye on it.”

“I don’t know, Shinji, won’t it get toxic from my touch?” Misato quipped before realizing the rather morose expression on Shinji’s face. “Oh. Sorry”, her mood dropped immediately. She jumped from her chair and approached Shinji in quick two steps, grabbing him into her embrace. “I’m sorry this happened, she had been so… mellow for a while! But on the bright side, those were just words”, she tried to comfort him while his face was currently pressed against strong contestant to the title of The Second Best Pillows In This Apartment. While he did not have the opportunity to test it yet, Asuka’s bottom was likely uncontested in the race to the first place. That thought, obviously, did little to mitigate his blush – and the other symptoms.

“Oh, sorry, Shin-chan”, Misato smiled an embarrassed smile as she saw his blush the moment she released him from the embrace. “Run along, I’ll keep an eye on the pot”, she reassured him.

“Thank you, Misato”, he took a deep breath, slid his shoes on, and left the apartment.

***

The place Shinji entered was almost empty; it was a small all-purpose storage room in the same apartment complex he lived in, an equivalent to a cellar – except for being located on the ground level. It was, once upon a time, cluttered with things and visited quite often, but as the situation in Tokyo-3 became increasingly dangerous and people started to leave in the earnest, it fell into disuse. It was accessed with two keys – the first one for the room, the other for the specific, apartment-assigned section. But what was important right now was the fact that it could be locked from the inside – and with the key in the lock, perfectly secured against being opened from the other side.

As he opened the door and crossed the threshold into the dimly lit room, he prepared for himself mentally for being jumped or grabbed – but instead, he was greeted by a cheerful voice of his favorite redhead. “You took your time”, she noticed. “Had to defeat The Dangerous Colonel on your way out?”

“Imagine that I did”, Shinji retorted, his voice equally amused. “But it wasn’t so bad… keep in mind that she **does** care, she’s just… really bad at showing it. She thought I was feeling bad after you yelled at me”, he turned to face the source of the voice and smiled.

Asuka jumped down from the counter she was sitting at. “Hier”, she smiled at him as she threw him the keys. “Hm, nine out of ten”, she commented as he caught them. “Where was I… ah, yes. Well, you did put up a proper performance of being devastated. Or was it me who almost managed to crush your spirit?” the redhead grinned.

“You would have, a while ago”, Shinji replied sincerely. “And even now, I suppose, if it came out of the blue. But… well…” he smiled as he made sure the door was actually closed.

“But despite expecting it, you still looked devastated. Now… where were we?” she raised her eyebrows.

“I suppose we should’ve started with a dinner, but that’s cooking home… so, a kiss?” his smile widened as he turned to a low niche with a sink to wash his hands.

“Sounds fine… for a start”, Asuka graciously agreed, chuckling at his actions. “But then, I expect you to get to the point.”

“As you wish”, he turned back and leaned in, intending to start with a soft, careful kiss. About half a second later his plans were dashed by Asuka’s vicious assault.

An appreciated and welcome assault, no doubt.

***

Asuka Langley Shikinami generally considered herself a virtuous person: she was courageous, hard-working, and – most of the time – honest. She knew well, as a person both educated and aware of social mores, that the standards set for women, especially in a country as conservative as Japan was, were a little bit different – but she paid them lip service at best, content to avoid giving people like Hikari Girl Should Be As Proper As The TV Anchor’s Accent Horaki a heart attack. After all, she was a pilot of the ultimate war machine, a soldier of renown, even a warrior of certain fame – and being ‘demure’ and ‘quiet’ – not to mention ‘pure’ – were about as antithetical to her as ‘brash’ and ‘violent’ were to Shinji.

And one of the wonderful aspects of her relationship with the aforementioned boy was the fact that he seemed to have absolutely no problem with that.

The moment she pressed him against the wall with a kiss his hands ended on her back – touching, probing, wandering, caressing. She picked a simple, relatively loose dress for this occasion – she would not shy from the term ‘accessible’ in this context – just to make it easier for him.

And thus, she relished in his touch – and waited for him to discover the small and simple, yet likely very effective surprise she held in store.

***

Shinji Ikari was used to Asuka’s aggression – he was exposed to it since they met. But his perception of this particular trait of her had changed across time – from ‘panicked and helpless when facing it’, to ‘confused and able to defend himself from it’, to current ‘accepting and relishing in it’. A while ago, this display of raw assault – being pushed against the wall with only a forearm protecting his head from hitting the hard concrete, his lips captured between her teeth, her tongue invading his mouth soon after, her body pressed against him – would have scared him, even if he knew it was out of lust, not anger.

Not so much now. Now, he took it in stride, allowing her to take the initiative in the kiss department – and focusing on her body, his hands exploring, testing, searching, going under–

_ ‘Oh. Well, I don’t know what I expected’ _ , Shinji thought when he realized that Asuka’s outfit was specifically chosen for the occasion: loose enough to access with ease and completely devoid of any undergarments. _‘Technically, going by the book, this is not an invitation’_, he kept pondering, looking for possible traps out of habit. _‘But this is Asuka, and we came here for a very simple, very well-defined reason for which we have limited time, as I’m supposed to go shopping afterward…’_

Another bite on his lips – coupled with her nails driven into his side – told him everything he needed to know and brought his train of thought to a screeching halt. His hand slid down Asuka’s hip, followed along her thigh, reached the hem of the dress just above the knee – and slid under it.

“I always knew you could take a hint”, the redhead whispered as she momentarily broke the kiss. “Now, don’t stop until I fall to my knees, or I’ll hurt you, no matter how much it’ll cost me afterward”, she added in a hoarse voice.

His hand slid along the curvature of her thigh and unmistakably found the ‘center of pleasure for the female body’, as Asuka was fond of calling it. _‘Oh. Let me guess, she prepared as much as she could?’_ he realized as his hand rested against her mons.

“Now. Please”, another hoarse whisper reached his ears. “Or you’ll have to explain that you got violently ambushed on your way to the store”, she hissed.

A mean thought appeared in his mind. “Asuka, behave”, he chastised her before she could capture his lips again, his hand just brushing against her sensitive flesh. “Or you’ll leave this room unsatisfied and with a heavily increased count”, he _added_.

“Do you want me to beg?” her voice remained hoarse but gained a submissive note. “Do you want me on my knees?”

Shinji’s lips spread into a wide smile. “Oh, I want you on your knees. But not begging”, his fingers curled, making a cup pressed against the sensitive spots. “Thanking me”, he added as he started the movements.

***

Asuka was no stranger to quickies. Since she discovered masturbation as a concept, she used it as stress relief, venting of steam, a momentary distraction. There were moments she did it in the locker room before a training session in Unit-02, in the college toilet before an exam, or at home before leaving to face some new unknown challenge. She even rubbed one out just before she put on her plugsuit to face her first Angel in Japan. The logic was simple: if there was a mood, there was a way.

And this time, the logic was not much different – except it was not **her** hand making the movements.

And it made all the difference. She _wanted_ Shinji to be a little bit more forceful – but she _expected_ him to be careful, caring, subtle, delicate. And she was somewhat right: he certainly took care – care to bring her as much pleasure as possible.

She pressed her lips against his neck; a few seconds later it has proven to be not enough, so she simply bit down his neck as the pleasure built up in sharp, relentless waves.

_ ‘I’m going to be returning home in a very, very wobbly way…’ _ was her final conscious thought before she decided to let go.

***

Shinji was not too experienced in the arts of sex – that was clear to everyone involved. But he learned one simple tidbit – once you notice that something works, just keep doing what you were doing – unless you want to toy with your partner or intentionally frustrate them, of course – until the partner clearly indicates they have had enough. Not sure what to do, he took that advice, recalled from the depths of his mind: he kept moving his hand in a fast but steady pattern, pressing against her sensitive flesh as forcefully as his muscles and tendons allowed.

The sounds his favorite redhead was making against his neck and the strength of her bite suggested that he was doing something right.

_ ‘I’m going to be wearing my shirt buttoned-up high’ _ , he realized with amusement. _‘Or borrowing a concealer from Asuka…’_

Of course, he considered it a very low price for her happiness.

***

Asuka was panting.

She managed, with some effort, to unclench her jaw, hitherto biting into Shinji’s neck. She spared a single thought about him likely needing to cover it up somehow for a while, but it was just that – a thought that quickly drowned in the sea of bliss.

The next thought was about not showing weakness. It got forgotten immediately as she rested her body against his – and realized she was sliding down anyway. Fortunately for her, he just embraced her and carefully lowered her to a kneeling position.

A voice in her mind, slowly recovering from the verbal beating down she gave to it whispered something about being brought low – but she paid it no heed.

She just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having a thorough, heavy, and intense orgasm – and she did not really care about anything else. Kneeling on a cold and rough concrete floor was just an afterthought, a momentary and meaningless inconvenience.

Someone was talking to her; she could not make out the words – so she did the only thing that came to her mind: she reached out, brought his head to his level, and kissed him.

***

“Are you okay, A–” he tried just before being interrupted by a kiss.

_ ‘Okay, this is… well, not new. Not unexpected. I’ll take it as a “yes”, I suppose’ _ , Shinji’s train of thought went on when his girlfriend – a girl he just brought to a rather intense climax, who bit him so hard that he was going to have issues with the next PE classes, and whom he just had to move to a kneeling position because she could simply not stand – unceremoniously grabbed his neck and pulled him for a wide, sloppy, uncoordinated, and unbelievably affectionate, almost loving, kiss.

A kiss that went on for a while.

A long while.

***

“I think I found a new hobby”, Asuka finally spoke up as they broke their kiss.

“As if I was going to believe this was your first” Shinji’s eyebrows went up.

“Well, it was the first one by someone’s hand”, she admitted openly. “What did you think? That I fucked around in college?” her eyebrows matched his as she smiled. “Even if I wanted to and would find someone right, no sane adult would touch a girl who was twelve”, she paused as Shinji nodded understandingly to her words. “Now… We had a plan, right? Like… shopping?”

“Well, I was supposed to go shopping, and you were supposed to stomp angrily back to the apartment”, Shinji recalled.

“I’d rather shop with you”, the redhead retorted, her eyes half-closed.

“I wouldn’t mind”, Shinji’s voice indicated his slowly returning clarity of thought. “But we should not return together.”

“Obviously”, Asuka conceded, her voice still dreamy. “So… meet you in front of the grocery store in ten minutes?”

“It’s just five minutes away”, he countered. “Fix your hair, go there, and wait for me. I’ll lock up and meet you there. Then… we’ll plan how to return.”

“Negative”, she objected. “**You** go, I stay here for a few minutes. We don’t want people to think that I’m drunk”, she explained.

“Asuka?” he eyed her flushed face carefully. He had to admit that as much as he considered Asuka the most beautiful woman in the world under normal circumstances, in her current state she was looking positively divine. Dreamy and shiny eyes, slightly messy hair with some strand plastered to her forehead, red cheeks, and a stupid, happy grin she did not even try to hide – all that made him want to just look at her, to bask in the mood she was radiating, to drink her happiness.

“I’m a bit wobbly, and if someone notices that and tells Misato… So, give me a moment. And… not that I mind the attention, Shinji”, the redhead raised her eyebrow after a few moments. “But if you don’t move soon, it’ll be suspicious.”

“I know”, he replied with a sigh. “But I wanted to bask in the sun for a little bit longer”, he added with a smile.

Asuka’s head tilted. “Smooth”, she admitted. “But we had this talk a while ago, and you still didn’t tell me if I’m a red dwarf or a red giant”, she pointed out.

Shinji chuckled. “It’s like telling you which way I prefer to die, one answer being ‘pummeling to death’, the other ‘strangling’. And the only thing saving me from this becoming an evisceration is the lack of sharp implements in the area”, he retorted.

“Damn it, you’re no fun”, she sulked. Shinji managed to subdue his desire to squee at the sight. In Asuka’s current state, this expression looked extremely cute. “Oh well, it’s your fault, anyway.”

“My fault?” he raised an eyebrow.

“You did all this, right?” she gestured towards her body. “I suppose I should thank you, or something, it was… intense”, she smiled.

“You’re welcome… Miss Langley”, he replied, his smile turning into a smirk.

“Don’t”, she cut him off with a curt word. “Unless you want to get me in the mood for round two here and now.”

“As you wish, Asuka”, he nodded. “I suppose I can go ahead… you think you’ll be able to walk in a few minutes?”

“Without much of a problem, I suppose”, she tried getting up. “Yes. Definitely”, she confirmed. “Just a few minutes more. You can go, just leave me the key”, she nodded. “And remember to wash your hands”, she added with a smirk.

Shinji chuckled. “At least you don’t need to brush your teeth.”

Asuka’s eyes shot wide open and her lips twisted in a crooked smile. “We can take a few minutes more, I suppose. And the floor is just hard enough. Want to give it a go?”

***

It took Shinji Ikari a few moments to comprehend Asuka’s suggestion; his blush, rather low considering the current atmosphere, suddenly exploded into a full-blown red face. “Asuka…” he pleaded. “What did you say about ‘getting in the mood’ just a moment ago?”

“Okay, fair point”, she agreed with dismay. “But promise me it’s not the last time we visit this place”, she demanded with a smile that carried as much danger as it carried promise.

“Well, if you prefer it here instead of the comfortable apartment…” Shinji reluctantly agreed.

“It has some advantages”, she wiggled her eyebrows. “I’ll hold you to your word”, she declared.

“I’m sure you will”, he replied with amused resignation as he disentangled from her embrace and turned towards the sink.

***

“I’m home”, Shinji called from the door, his voice a far cry from the morose tone he presented not so long ago.

“Welcome home”, Misato replied, raising her head from above the paperwork. “What happened? Were queues so long?”

“You wouldn’t believe what I had to go through before I got to those algae”, Shinji sighed, stretching the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver to its limits. “But we will have a nice, mild soup tomorrow”, he added with conviction.

“Great”, Misato smiled a wide smile. “We may need it”, she added, worry hidden in her voice.

“Misato?” Shinji probed as he took off his shoes and stopped to stare at his guardian. “Is something going to be so wrong that we will need comfort food?”

Misato’s face quickly shifted from surprise to fear, only to shift into a peaceful mask again. “No, no, no, there’s nothing for you to worry about, Shin-chan”, she smiled. “Your cooking is always a treat!”

Shinji raised an eyebrow. “Sure… especially that I cook about every four meals out of five… and when it’s your turn, it’s always a takeout or a delivery”, he noticed dryly.

“The last time I cooked, you invoked Geneva Convention as you refused to eat it”, Misato retorted, her voice acrid. “I can go back to cooking myself, but I am under the impression you have _some_ issue with it.”

“Just one pertaining taste, I suppose”, Shinji retorted, eliciting a surprised look from his guardian. “And toxicity. And the fact that Pen Pen barks at it. I didn’t know penguins could bark before then”, he shook his head. “I take it nothing boiled over?” he eyed the stove.

“Nothing at all”, Misato confirmed. “Have you seen Asuka?” she suddenly changed the subject.

“Yes, but she seemed… distracted”, Shinji executed the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver once more. After all, the last time he saw his girlfriend, her mind was not exactly on the task of shopping.

***

_ About twenty minutes earlier _

“Asuka, can you go get the soy sauce?” he asked.

There was no answer.

“Asuka?” he probed again.

“Oh, right. What? The soda?” she asked out of the blue, her voice distracted.

“Soy sauce. From the next aisle”, Shinji let out a sigh as he pointed in the general direction.

“Ah. Right”, she let go of his arm and sauntered away.

Not that he could mind – but due to some unknown quirk of reality or perhaps a confusing aspect of biology, Asuka seemed to be far more distracted after sex than he ever was. She tagged along for the groceries trip – but for some reason, she was more a burden than she was a help.

Not that he could tell her that.

“Asuka, this is soy _milk_. I need a soy _sauce_”, he explained patiently.

“Oh. Right. Fuck me”, she replied, took a distracting whirl-in-spot that threatened to expose her lack of panties – and vanished again behind the aisle’s end.

***

“Asuka…” Shinji tried as they were walking back from the grocery store.

“I know. Wait away from the sight until at least five minutes have passed, then come in huffing and lock myself in my room”, she recited. “Don’t worry”, she reassured him.

Shinji’s lips pulled into a thin line and his eyes indicated exasperation. “Not… exactly.”

“Okay, what’s your adjustment to the plan?” she tilted her head with a smile.

“Um”, he paused. “It’s fine, just… I’m not sure. You act… as if you were… drunk?”

Asuka scoffed. “I **am** drunk, Shinji-dear. Girls work differently from guys, you know”, she shrugged. “Too drunk?” she probed. “Want to explain it to me as I lie across your lap?” she smiled a wide smile.

Shinji let out a sigh. “It’s complicated”, he admitted. “I mean… there’s nothing to add to your count, for sure, but it all smells of you fishing for more. Or just… I don’t know.”

Asuka’s demeanor suddenly changed; she took a look around, ensuring the surrounding area was clear – and only then grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Shinji… I’ve got fucked fair and square, and I’m **happy**”, she explained. “Do that to me more, and you’ll see me like this more. In about ten minutes I’ll have to play the role of unattainable, ever-angry pilot once more for Misato, at least until the night. Can you let me enjoy what I have **now**? To be that ‘sun’ you called me?” she turned her eyes to him. “Tell me to behave, and I will, but I don’t **want** to. Not until I **have to**.”

Shinji took a deep breath. “Let me guess, it’s not one of those ‘make me suffer’ things?”

Asuka chuckled. “Let’s say there’s suffering I enjoy and there’s suffering I hate”, she replied. “I suppose you’ll learn to tell those apart pretty quickly. No, I think you already have”, she winked.

“Okay, Asuka”, he agreed after a moment of pondering. “Act as you will… as long as it doesn’t get us arrested for public indecency”, he stipulated.

“Oh, come on”, she scoffed. “Not going to happen. Were **you** wearing a dress like mine, though…” she grinned.

Shinji took a deep breath in a vain attempt to calm himself; the picture in his mind did him no favor.

***

“Distracted?” Misato probed. “It’s not like her”, she furrowed her brows.

“Maybe she saw the error in her ways?” Shinji tried as he unloaded the groceries in the fridge. “I don’t know”, he shrugged as he took a look at the pot. “The food is ready, once you’re ready to eat – or Asuka storms in, demanding food – just call on me. I’ll be in my room”, he stated.

“Sure, Shin-chan”, Misato smiled. “Don’t worry, it’ll be at least an hour for me”, she reassured him.

The door beeped and hissed from its clearly in-need-of-adjustment mechanism. “I’m home”, a sulky voice reported; Asuka dropped her shoes haphazardly and slowly walked into the living area.

“Oh, hi”, Shinji took a quick look at her. “Welcome back”, he replied, his voice flat. Asuka, her back to Misato, gave him a wink; his response was the smallest smirk. “The food is ready, if you’re hungry.”

“Yeah, thanks”, she replied in the same voice as she headed to the bathroom. “Later.”

Misato shot Shinji a sympathetic look. He just smiled sadly before turning away – and only then allowing a proper smile to emerge.

***

_ About an hour later _

“Okay, I’d say you _almost_ made it up to me with this food”, Asuka pushed the empty bowl away. “Do one more thing for me and I will be able to forgive today’s mistake.”

“And what would that be, oh Gracious One?” Shinji gave the redhead a doubting look from under a raised eyebrow, eliciting a surprised chuckle from Misato.

“I decided to trust you with a vital aspect of my looks”, the redhead replied, undeterred by a note of mockery in his voice. “You are going to brush my hair.”

“Your Graciousness surely knows I’m anything but experienced with that”, Shinji remarked after a moment of genuine confusion. “What will happen if my services are substandard, or perhaps even painful?”

“Then you will suffer in turn”, Asuka remarked, her eyes half-shut in a mock display of dignity. _‘And I will suffer for that at his hands, if it comes to that. But we both know this will be flawless, don’t we?’_ she pondered, as she kept looking into his eyes.

“Her Graciousness is as stern as she is beautiful”, Shinji retorted. “I should endeavor to satisfy her whim”, Shinji bowed as he collected the bowls from the table.

“I dearly hope so”, Asuka stated loftily.

Misato took a long look at each of them in turn.

“Are you all right, you two?” she finally asked in a bemused voice.

“Would you prefer a rerun of our previous interaction?” Asuka asked directly.

“I’d rather you had other modes than ‘hostile’ and ‘confusing’”, Misato stated. Shinji blessed the fact that he was, once more, facing away.

“We do ‘apathetic’, too, and quite well”, Asuka retorted, maintaining her disdainful face. “And we have ‘truce’ mode as well, and I intend to use it today as I continue to educate him in the Western sense of humor.”

“And Her Graciousness is merciless as she is wise”, came from the general direction of the kitchen.

“You consented”, Asuka turned her attention in the direction of the voice. “And until I hear otherwise, we’re having another movie night tonight.”

Misato took a long look at Asuka, clearly pondering something. “Okay, I have too many things on my plate right now, but we’ll need to have a talk about something”, she finally stated.

Asuka raised her eyebrow. “If you mean to give me ‘The Talk’”, she spoke the words with clear capitalization, “then know I’ve had my Sex Ed in school. Besides… don’t worry, if he tries to do something stupid, he’ll need a trip to an Emergency Ward.”

Misato let out a heavy sigh. “Not what I had in mind, and please, could you put at least as much effort into getting along with Shinji as he puts into getting along with you?”

Asuka’s attempts to maintain a straight face were quite successful – until now, the moment when several _interesting_ pictures ran through her mind, accompanied by associated sensations. She felt a heavy blush creep up her face. Aware of possible consequences, she did the only thing that came to her mind: she hid her head in her arms and burst into hysterical laughter.

Misato blinked in confusion. “I’m not sure I like this reaction”, she stated.

“Don’t worry, Misato”, Shinji chimed in. “I suppose you just short-circuited her brain, she’ll be fine in a moment. And let’s be honest, Asuka **does** put a lot of effort into getting along with me. She didn’t try to beat me to death for the last three months at the very least, I don’t recall any poisoning attempts, she doesn’t organize gangs that would beat me at school, she doesn’t shoot at me when we’re in our Evas no matter how angry she is with me, and while her attempts to kill me with laughter are quite obvious and direct, I can survive **that**.”

“You kids–” Misato shot him a pleading glare.

“–will be the death of you. We know”, Shinji agreed. “Would you like a piece of cake? I got some last run, it’s very fresh.”

Misato shot him a glare. “Some say that temptation for women my age come from younger men, but I wasn’t aware they’d be _so_ young”, she let out a sigh.

“Well, the best way to anyone’s heart is through the stomach, right?” Shinji smiled.

“I’d go between the ribs or from behind”, heavy breathing and freshly recovered Asuka chimed in. “But I’m someone you’d call a ‘dirty pragmatist’”, she added.

“Do **you** want some, Asuka?” Shinji refocused his attention. “Oh. My deepest apologies”, he straightened and his voice suddenly became pompous. “Does Her Graciousness want some cake, since she had stopped her attempts on self-suffocation?”

“Yes, please”, Asuka managed to squash another laugh. “Here, Misato, you’re welcome. You’d not be the only woman in the room eating the cake. Now you can indulge yourself.”

Misato took a deep breath, pondered for a moment, and then gave Shinji a defeated look.

Shinji smiled to himself. _‘This could’ve gone far worse’_, he concluded as he opened the fridge.

***

“I assume you know the theory?” Asuka asked as she handed Shinji the brush and seated herself on the stool in front of her vanity.

“Start from the ends, watch for signs of distress?” he replied with a question as he settled on her desk chair.

“About as much”, she confirmed.

“Why now?” he asked, suddenly dropping his voice to a whisper, aware of the not-entirely-closed door.

“It’s a moment for us in a safe way”, she shrugged. “And I wanted a way to confuse her. Also, you wanted to do this, right?”

“Well, yes”, he smiled. “Okay”, his voice returned to the normal volume. “Is Her Graciousness ready to risk her life and… hair in the hands of a complete amateur?”

“Less talking, more brushing”, Asuka retorted and turned her back to him.

“As you wish.”

***

Asuka liked brushing her hair; something was soothing in the regular, precise moves she had been practicing for a decade as a part of her nightly ritual – and, occasionally, during the day as she took her ‘beauty time’.

But she had to conclude that having it done by someone else felt quite different. _‘Just like sex, right?’_ the obvious association crept into her mind._ ‘I know **exactly** how I like it and can do it the right way… but it’s still my hand, and my brain knows that, which ruins the effect. It’s similar to trying to tickle myself, won’t work, and even if it does, the effect is barely there. But he… he’s less predictable, and while he’s far from perfect… it’s really pleasant’_, she realized.

Having concluded that, she allowed her smile to become wider. This had been a pleasant day – and it was not over yet.

***

“I really like to see you get along better”, Misato admitted to Shinji as soon as she was sure Asuka was nowhere in the hearing range.

Shinji’s ears went red. “I’m sorry it’s not perfect”, he evaded.

Misato rolled her eyes. “Oh come on. I know no r-interaction between people that is perfect. **Especially** between boys and girls. We’re just too different”, she shrugged. “Just… keep it up”, she smiled. “On that matter… any **progress**?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

Shinji’s face turned completely red. “Misato!” he hissed in a whisper. “Please!”

“Hey, it’s an innocent question!” she retorted.

“It’s a very **personal** question”, he retorted. “Well, we’re having movie nights, right?” he evaded again.

“Fair point. Try making this one a date, perhaps?” she smirked.

Shinji rolled his eyes, his ears still burning. “Misato… I mean no offense to you, but it would feel like a date with a chaperone, wouldn’t it?” he eyed her. “It’s just a movie night. If we’d go for a proper date… we’d go out somewhere. But that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

Misato let out a sigh. “Don’t let her–”

“Misato!” Asuka’s voice interrupted the sentence. “You are a very indecent guardian, molesting your charge like that!”

The older woman just shot her an exasperated glare.

***

“Thank you for saving me”, Shinji whispered as they were settling on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between them, an arrangement that they knew was a regrettable necessity.

“What was that about?” Asuka kept her eyes on the door to Misato’s room.

“Relationship – oh, sorry, r-interaction”, he smirked, “advice.”

“God. Really?” she rolled her eyes.

“That’s Misato for you”, Shinji shrugged. “Oh, and she asked about ‘progress’. It was kind of… close”, he shivered.

“Then I was really a knight rescuing a damsel in distress”, Asuka chuckled. “Okay, ready?” she asked, finally managing to set the TV channel properly.

“Hit me.”

***

_ About ten seconds later _

“Okay, those credits are… odd”, Shinji remarked.

“Surprised?” Asuka raised an eyebrow.

“Not at all. Let me guess…” he started.

“You should get used to it”, she finished for him. “This one is a bit more absurd than ‘Life of Brian’”, she added.

***

“I don’t remember that from the history class”, Shinji eyed the screen.

“Well, plagues were commonplace in those times”, Asuka shrugged.

“I meant the dirt, mud, and all that”, Shinji clarified.

“Oh. Oh, yes, maybe not everyone was caked in mud and worse, but the cities _stank_ pretty badly, at least in Europe”, she explained. “Of course it depended very much on _where_ and _when_, I know people lump all the thousand years and hundreds of societies of the Middle Ages together, but something like that could easily happen. Just as well as clean cities with working sewage systems.”

***

“‘Anarcho-syndicalist commune’?” Shinji tilted his head.

“It’s a thing. But we don’t have a few days to explain”, Asuka retorted.

***

“O…kay. That was… brutal”, Shinji noted in a flat tone, eyeing the aftermath of the sword fight.

“Well, yes. But not fully unrealistic, right? We **can** survive something like that inside Evas”, Asuka remarked with a shrug before noticing the boy’s paleness in the corner of her eye. “Shinji?” she turned her head to face him.

“I did”, Shinji shivered. “I survived that.”

Her hand found his as she scanned the room for Misato; it seemed that she has not yet emerged from her bath. “Sorry, didn’t… you didn’t tell me”, she squeezed his hand tight, her face suddenly serious.

“My very first fight”, Shinji managed. “About ten minutes after I learned about Evas and Angels. The Angel almost tore my… tore Unit-01’s arm off. Or tried to tear it off and just crushed it… I don’t remember. It… hurt.”

Asuka took a deep breath and maintained the grasp on his hand. “Okay. Stop me if I start to sound callous, but please listen to me first if you can”, she started, her tone serious.

“O…kay?” he turned his head to face her.

“You survived”, she stated, matter-of-factly. “You killed the thing. Despite having your hand crushed, despite being in horrible pain, you killed it”, her voice gained intensity.

“I… don’t remember”, Shinji admitted. “It was all a blur.”

“You’re here, and the Angel is not”, Asuka countered. “Sounds like a victory to me. I… I know it hurt. I remember going through Unit-02 structural stress tests at full sync”, her face twitched momentarily, “and I can imagine this being far worse. But you **made it**, and you fought through that. That’s something to admire.”

Shinji’s expression indicated he did not agree with Asuka completely – but he could not deny some truth in her words. “I never saw it as a victory. I… survived”, he finally stated.

“Shinji”, Asuka smiled. “When you survive and the enemy does not, it is – at least on the tactical level, and this is what concerns you as a pilot – a victory. You know, like this old adage: a good landing is the one you can walk away from, a great landing is the one that allows the plane to be re-used?”

“If you look at this like that”, Shinji chuckled. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I usually am”, Asuka’s face assumed the haughty countenance.

“Your Graciousness has many advantages, but somewhat lacks humility”, Shinji remarked.

“Don’t try to teach me that”, Asuka countered, the squeezing of his hand turning into a strong grip. “Not unless you want this to be a battle to the death.”

“I would never dare”, he smiled as his other hand went atop of hers.

“Want to stop watching?” she probed.

“No, let’s keep going… if you can promise me there are no more dismemberments.”

“No, just beheadings and such”, she replied.

“Then I should be fine.”

***

“A… very silly place”, he shook his head.

“Yes. It only gets weirder”, she replied.

***

“A castle full of girls?” Shinji raised an eyebrow. “A trap, a comedy relief, or a perfect moment for Misato to walk on us watching it?”

“‘All of the above’, after a fashion”, Asuka replied. “I just dare you to watch this one with a straight face.”

“Let me guess, I’d be looking like the guards in the Pilate scene last time?” Shinji’s eyebrows went even higher.

“Quite likely.”

***

“I… kind of forgot about that last joke”, Asuka admitted, her face red.

“Well, who would’ve expected a sex joke in such a setup?” Shinji muttered, his face matching hers. “And why would they be so enthusiastic about a spanking?” he barely managed to say with a straight face.

“Yeah”, Asuka confirmed with the same expression.

***

“How far are you in the movie? And did Shinji try to die already?” Misato called out as she emerged in her towel-wrapped glory.

“About a half-way, I reckon”, Asuka replied as she paused the movie, freezing a frame with some sickly pale boy striking a particularly dramatic pose. “And no, he just had a few close calls. Let me guess, you want to go to sleep?”

“Nah, just keep it low and I’ll be fine. And I still have a beer or two on the agenda”, came the reply from the fridge.

***

“That’s a bit… aggressive for a rabbit”, Shinji remarked.

“Have you ever had one?” Asuka countered. “Those can be vicious if scared or agitated. A friend of mine kept a rather big one, or, actually, her older brother did. The guy – I mean the rabbit, not the brother – was peaceful and cute – until someone got late with his food.”

“Did he rip out throats?” Shinji asked, his voice amused.

“No, but your ankles were in constant peril.”

***

“Okay, this keeps getting weirder. Were they running out of budget or something?”

“It’s one of the versions on why the further you go, the crazier it gets”, Asuka explained. “But I suppose it’s just their style.”

***

“Where did this army come from?” Shinji’s head tilted.

“From the screenplay, I assume”, Asuka shrugged. “Or they cut some scenes that explained it.”

***

“That was… extremely anticlimactic”, Shinji noted.

“I suppose that was the point”, Asuka shrugged with a smile. “That’s Monty Python for you.”

“So…” he lowered his voice after a quick scan for Misato. “What now? She’s hardly underwater…”

“She still sleeps rather heavy, and those were two beers”, the redhead replied in a similarly low voice. “Let’s go through the usual motions: you go first, wait, and join me. Good that we didn’t leave anyone… hanging for the evening, right?” she smirked.

“Yeah. We’d have to take the matters in our own hands”, he quipped before grabbing the popcorn bowl and rising from the couch. “Will Her Graciousness”, he started in a normal voice, “permit me, with all her grace, to use the bathroom first?”

Asuka stifled a giggle. “By all means. You’ve been a good caretaker for my hair. I wonder what talents remain concealed from me”, she stated seriously before grinning widely.

“Time will tell, You Graciousness. I thank you”, he mock-bowed before leaving her alone on the couch.

***

Asuka let out a sigh, lied back on the couch, and closed her eyes. _‘This is getting… more and more fun. Even the stupid theatrics he made up on the spot… it’s funny. It will become annoying soon, but I’m sure something else will crop up. God, and I laughed at couples acting like that in college… serves me right’_, she admitted to herself, the grin remaining on her face.

Sudden soft-but-unexpected sounds made her tense. This was not Shinji – he was in the bathroom. She knew the sound of that door, and this was not it. So, ruling out someone having crept through a window, this could only be Misato. Asuka forced her grin to a soft smile. _‘Want to play a game, Colonel?’_ she hissed in her mind, half-amused, half-annoyed.

“How did the date go, Asuka?” a sudden-but-expected voice sounded over her; the redhead jumped up in an odd mix between a reaction to getting startled and a self-defense posture. Half a second later her nerve endings told her that Misato had been closer than she thought – and a second later, she realized Misato had suffered consequences of her actions as well.

“God, Asuka, why so jumpy?!” their guardian rubbed her forehead.

“Oh come on, you should know better than to approach someone with hand-to-hand training from behind”, the redhead retorted as she rubbed hers.

“I just wanted to ask a question”, Misato scoffed. “But judging from your smile, it was not **that** bad?”

“It was not, thank you very much, but hardly a **date**. There was food before, granted, there was popcorn, there was a movie, but really, no atmosphere and no kiss at the end”, she shrugged. “So, the _movie night_ was decent, thank you very much. And sorry about that hit, but please, think again before surprising me?” she finished in a somewhat annoyed voice.

“Apology accepted”, Misato replied. “Really, you _should_ go for a proper movie, in a theater, or something”, she continued.

“Are you telling me to take **him** out on a **_date_**? You’re drunk”, Asuka scoffed.

“‘Two beers’ is not _drunk_, Asuka, and that’s a serious suggestion”, Misato’s semi-amused, the mock-annoyed expression changed to sincere. “I’m not telling you to **marry** him, but I find it hard to believe you two would not find a common language”, she finished.

_ ‘God, Misato… if only you knew… well, if you did, you’d be insisting we’re too young at best, and busy locking us up or crucifying us at worst’ _ , Asuka realized before deciding for a counterattack. “Misato, first and foremost, I’m not going to ask him out. First, boys ask out, and girls say they ‘will think about it’”, Asuka ticked off on her thumb, trying to keep a straight face at the same time. “Second”, she ticked off another finger, “I don’t have that much time for that, and this”, she gestured around, “is fine”. “Third…” she pondered. “No, there’s no third.”

“I was expecting some more progressiveness out of you than ‘boys ask out’, Asuka”, Misato raised her eyebrows. “Where’s the entire ‘you Japanese and your rigid social mores’?” she goaded.

“**You** told me to ‘do as Romans do’, remember?” Asuka retorted. “When I came here? What happened to **that**?”

“As if would suddenly believe you’d change your behavior under someone’s influence…” Misato countered, her voice heavy with disbelief.

Asuka was suddenly aware of how red her ears have turned; she was glad they were mostly hidden under her hair. _‘God, Misato, I’m so glad you don’t know the crucial pieces of this puzzle, or we’d be **so** fucked… and not in the way I like’_, she pondered as she took a deep breath. She knew this discussion was heading in a dangerous direction – and the only way out was to employ the best defense: a brutal counterattack that should be continued until total annihilation of the opposing side.

“I can consider asking him out when **you** ask someone out on a date”, Asuka declared. “You say I’m conservative? Give me a shining example!”

Misato let out a small burst of laughter. “Deal”, she declared loudly, her eyes narrowing as she extended a hand to Asuka – a hand Asuka shook with a surprised smile. “And now, I wish you a good night, you have a lot of planning to do if you want this date to work out. He’s got good taste, after all.”

“Ungefangene Fische sind nicht gut zu Tische, Misato”, Asuka retorted with a mean undertone in her voice.

Misato just smiled an equally mean smile as she retreated to her room.

***

The door to Asuka’s room was half-open; Shinji carefully and silently slid inside before closing them with equal care; his favorite redhead was already waiting. She was dressed in her usual nightgown, sitting in the desk chair with her perfect and bare legs on the desk, the nightgown ending far too soon on her thigh; he tried not to think whether she was wearing anything else, as his experience has taught him that the answer was probably a resounding ‘no’.

“Hello, wandered”, she whispered as he approached. “Come and join me in the bed of a fair maiden”, she added with a smile.

“Oh, fair you are, for sure”, he noted as he leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “But the ‘maiden’ part…”

“Well, I am unwed”, she retorted. _‘Oh, good going, Shikinami’_ she bet herself immediately for her choice of words. _‘Let’s hope this does **not** turn awkward immediately…’_

“I was expecting another line of defense, but fair point”, he accepted. “So… will Her Graciousness allow me the place in her bed?”

Asuka’s expression turned into a short scowl. “Leave this nomenclature to Misato-given theatrics, or at least for the outside of here”, she requested. “Here… let’s stick to ‘Asuka’, ‘Miss Langley’, or…” she paused, unsure whether to continue.

“Or ‘good girl’?” he leaned in and whispered to her ear.

A pleasant shiver ran down from her ear, along her spine, down to her nether parts. “Yes”, she whispered back with glee.

“By all means”, he pulled back, bowed, and resumed: “So, am I allowed to enter your bed?”

“By all means”, she mirrored his words and fluently dropped her feet to the ground, preserving the mystery as she jumped on the bed.

***

The mystery, of course, did not last too long, and Shinji only confirmed his suspicions. He shook his head with a sigh. “Asuka… do you want me to match your attire?” he asked as he settled to spoon her.

“Assume the answer is ‘yes’ at all times when it comes to undressing, unless stated otherwise”, came a smile-touched reply.

“As you wish then”, he replied, hesitated for a moment – and before any doubt could stop him, pulled his briefs down and discarded them next to the bed.

“Oh. Yes. Much better”, Asuka’s surprise quickly turned into a purr of satisfaction as she wiggled her bare bottom against his, unsurprisingly growing, erection. “I appreciate that”, she added in a soft whisper. “Pity we have to be careful tonight”, she suddenly sulked.

“There’s a whole week of likely Misato’s overtime ahead”, Shinji noted. “There will be time.”

“Well, if you intend to keep playing the matching game…” Asuka’s voice turned seductive.

“As long as you don’t expect me to shave, I think I can”, he retorted.

Asuka chuckled. “As interesting it would have been, it’s hardly necessary. So we have a deal, I suppose?”

“We do”, he confirmed with a smile. “Speaking of deals… I overheard you were talking something about a deal with Misato? In some odd German-Japanese mix?”

“God, don’t get me started”, Asuka scoffed. “We made a deal that if she manages to ask someone out for a date, specifically _ask_, not _be asked_, I will ask **you** out”, she explained. “And we shook on it.”

“Seriously?” Shinji’s voice was both amused and confused.

“I walked into that, okay?” the redhead shrugged. “And it was not in German, I just threw a proverb in her face when she started to gloat how much I’ll have to work on that. An equivalent of… counting your chickens before they hatch”, she explained.

“Ah. But what will happen if she _does_ ask someone out?” Shinji probed.

“Then, my dear Shinji”, she rubbed her bottom against him again, forcing him to stifle a moan. “Then I **will** ask you out, and if you accept, and I promise you that date will. Blow. Your. Mind”, she finished as she shelved several _ideas _that appeared in her mind in the meantime.

Shinji took a deep breath as his hands pulled Asuka closer – as much as it was possible, as there was rarely much space left between them once they were safe to snuggle. “I have no doubt it would”, he whispered to Asuka’s ear. “But I’m perfectly happy with you right now, too.”

_ ‘Aaaand this is how you melt a girl, Shinji. I guess you understand that now… or just your instincts grew that good’ _ , she concluded.

“I don’t know which, Asuka”, he replied, making her realize she once more let her thoughts slip out. “But don’t worry about melting, I’ve got a good grip on you.”

“Likewise”, she giggled happily as she intertwined her legs with his, bringing their hips even closer. “Goodnight, darling, and don’t worry about wet dreams.”

“Goodnight… Miss Langley”, he replied, squeezing her breast just _a bit_ harder.

Asuka stifled a moan. _‘And this is what I want to last… not the sex, amazing as it is, but **this**’_, she realized before slowly drifting to sleep, a wide smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we’re done with the lemons for the moment. Mostly.
> 
> Regarding the scheduling: the nine-days schedule remains in force, while the pressure abates, it left me with very little ready text and I need to catch up on that. So, expect a new chapter on the first day of 2021. On that note: I wish you all happy holidays, no matter which ones you celebrate – and a better new year.


	28. Chapter 28

_Monday morning_

The alarm clock was unpleasant, but at least it died quickly. Unfortunately, its sound also indicated that Asuka’s source of warmth, pleasure, amusement, and certain unspoken feelings was also going to leave pretty quickly.

_‘And I thought I would never need **anyone**, ever. Let alone a boyfriend…’_ the girl in question mused as she rubbed her legs against his before reluctantly releasing him from her grasp. _‘God, this is still strange. I thought my every romantic entanglement would be a constant war, “don’t do this”, “you’re not my master”, “but I have the right…”’_ she recalled her past worries. _‘Now I call him “sir”, but he does not lord over me… except when it’s the right thing to do, except when it comes to… whatever we should call it.’_

Her thoughts were momentarily interrupted by Shinji finally managing to discreetly leave the bed; she giggled internally as she noticed that he made absolutely no effort to conceal his morning wood, something he would be terribly ashamed of a while ago. _‘And I know this is not perfect, this will not be perfect, sooner or later something will pop out and mess with us, like him snoring or me being too aggressive, or maybe Misato finally connecting the dots… but fuck that’_, she stretched as she finally had the bed for herself; having more space in bed was the only thing she was missing from the time before him. _‘I suppose I could not convince Misato to put a new, bigger bed here… there would be questions, considering this one is big enough for two… unless they thrash around. Where was I… ah yes. Fuck that. I have him now, he’s a part of my life, and he’s not the domineering monster I imagined based on the tales told by the college girls. Except, well…’_ she paused before deciding not to pursue this line of thought lest it delayed her getting out of bed.

It was a school day, after all. But even that thought did not manage to completely foul her mood; not with this kind of morning.

***

_About half an hour later_

“Ah, Asuka”, Misato turned from the door as she addressed the teenager still at the kitchen table. “I need you to drop at NERV after school, okay? I’ll give you a ride back once we’re done”, she rattled out as she was putting her shoes on.

“Anything I should be worrying about?” Asuka tried to sound as detached as possible, but it was clear for Shinji that her peace was forced. He forced down a reflex to approach and hug her; this had to wait.

“Not really, nobody’s booting you out if this is what you’re worried about”, Misato replied. “Just some Eva-related business.”

“Will I be needed as well?” Shinji chimed in from the kitchen over the sound of bento boxes being sealed, his voice worried.

“Not really, I’d rather have you wait for us with dinner”, Misato’s voice was somewhat tense despite her trying to sound flippant.

“Of course, Misato!” he replied with his usual polite smile.

Asuka’s brow furrowed. “Let me guess, ‘need to know basis and you don’t need to know’?”

“Pretty much”, Misato explained, her expression disconcerted. “Can’t do much about it.”

“Yes, yes, I know”, Asuka shrugged. “‘Can’t be helped’ is an expression I hear annoyingly often in Japan. Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks”, Misato smiled. “Have a good school day!” she added as she departed.

***

“What do you think she will want from you?” Shinji inquired as they walked to the bus stop.

“Not sure”, Asuka shrugged. _‘Not the whole truth, but let’s not speculate and fuck up the mood?’_ she decided. “It’s not about sending me back, and I assume it won’t be a summary execution, so it can’t be too bad.”

“I’ll be waiting with the dinner, then”, he smiled at her as he took her hand once they were outside the main streets. “Assuming it won’t be just ‘great work, keep it up’”, he winked.

“Hardly”, Asuka scoffed, a note of smile appearing in her tone, nonetheless. “What work? I’ve been benched and my scores haven’t improved. They haven’t _dropped_, yes, but Misato is not one to heap praise for average performance. No, it shouldn’t be bad, but I’m not expecting praise. Besides, if this was something like that, she would’ve said it yesterday”, she noted. “I don’t know”, she shrugged. “We’ll see. On a completely unrelated note”, her tone of voice abruptly changed to playful, “can we schedule my next installment?” she smiled a playful smile, her eyes joining the expression.

“Already?” Shinji’s eyebrows went up. “Haven’t you had enough recently?” he probed.

“Enough?” the redhead’s disdain was palpable. “You know me. First of all, I have _enough_ for about a few hours afterward. Well, perhaps until morning”, she started. “Second, I’ve got fifty-five on my count. That could use some… reduction. Third… I’d like to have it planned, even if it’s away.”

“Why?” Shinji turned his head to look at his girlfriend, slightly surprised by the soft blush in her cheeks. “I mean, why planned, I understand the ‘reduction’ part”, he narrowed it down.

“Well, simply”, Asuka grinned. “I would have something to look forward to. It builds the anticipation – and tell me you wouldn’t try to tease me with it?” she looked at him, a challenge clear in her eyes.

“I… hadn’t thought of it that way”, he admitted. “Well, considering that it would require putting our guardian underwater or her being out, we can take any weekday… considering _some_ break is still in order, I’d say… Friday at the earliest?”

Asuka pondered for a moment. “Sounds fine”, she finally agreed. “But check the cleaning schedule first.”

“Nothing for you or me this week”, he recalled. “I usually take a look in advance.”

“And to think I accused you of lack of planning”, she noted with approval.

“Let’s say I’m motivated”, he retorted.

***

Their arrival did not go unnoticed; several heads turned, first and foremost the head of Hikari Girls Should Not Be Like That! Horaki. Asuka noticed the attention of the Class Rep immediately. “Go”, she whispered to Shinji, “I’ll take her”, she smirked.

“You sure?” the boy whispered, seeing Hikari rise with righteous anger written all over her face.

“Don’t worry”, Asuka’s smirk widened a bit. “You handle your questionable friends”, she shot the two boys a glare. “Learn if it was them who ratted us out”, she suggested.

“Good luck”, Shinji nodded as he stepped aside, leaving the redhead to bear the brunt of the judgment.

_‘It’s not me who’s going to need the good luck Shinji-dear’_, Asuka did her best not to allow her smirk to turn into a grin as Hikari I Am Going To Tell You What I Think Of All This And You Will Apologize Like A Good Girl Should Horaki stopped in front of her.

“Shikinami-san, a word?” she demanded curtly, her voice low but firm.

“Sure, Class Rep”, Asuka replied, her voice more cheerful than it befitted the tone of her interlocutor. “What’s on your mind?”

“Not here”, Hikari In Official Capacity Horaki replied. “Should we step out?”

“Sure”, Asuka shrugged flippantly and walked out, followed by a rather tense Class Representative.

About half a second later, Shinji Ikari found himself under a brutal assault of his two friends.

***

“Shikinami-san, there’s something we need to talk about, and it’s important”, Hikari It Is So Serious That I Go Straight To The Point Horaki started.

“Oh, I didn’t know we were so far in our relationship, Class Rep”, Asuka raised her eyebrows. “We didn’t even have a dinner together, not to mention a breakfast?” she smirked.

“What do you – Shikinami-san!!!” the Class Representative’s face turned bright red. “Could you be **serious** for a moment?!”

“I try my best at work”, Asuka shrugged. “This doesn’t leave much for the school, I’m afraid. Okay, shoot, what do you want to hang me for? I can confess to almost anything, just skip the torture, please.”

Hikari Must Remain Calm Horaki took several deep breaths. She was used to her subjects being unruly, but this was usually the case with boys or class primadonnas, and this was usually resolved with a sterner look or some additional pressure. Unfortunately, Asuka Langley Shikinami had a disdain for rules that was ingrained in her by her Western upbringing and not mitigated, neither by her part-Japanese heritage nor by her time here. She rarely caved to peer pressure and she did not seem to respond well to authority of any kind, except a military one. Hikari I Regret I Hold No Actual Rank Horaki somehow understood the reason for that – after all, a star pilot and the most attractive girl in class had little to worry about – but the redhead’s irreverence irked her immensely.

“Shikinami-san…” she tried again. “You were involved in an incident on Saturday, after the classes ended. I was told that you were involved in an incident with Aida-kun and Suzuhara-kun”, she stated her case, taking another deep breath afterward. “Could you please explain what happened and why did it happen?”

“Ah. That”, the redhead looked at the pig-tailed girl with some disdain. “Well, Aida got overexcited, turned his attention towards Ikari”, _‘Ikari, my dear Shinji is still “Ikari” here’_, she reminded herself, “and got a bit physical with him. So I explained the error in his ways to him in the quickest, most efficient way”, Asuka explained with a shrug.

“You… held him against the wall”, the Class Representative stated, her voice a mix of confusion and questioning.

“Yes, in an immobilizing grip”, Asuka confirmed. “Non-lethal and non-damaging, don’t worry, he’s not going to suffer any long-lasting terms. Well, perhaps except some bruising to his ego”, she shrugged again.

“The witnesses say you threatened them both”, Hikari I Would Rather Be Somewhere Else Right Now, But This Must Be Done Horaki stated. “Is this true?”

“I _warned_ them that if any of them do this to Ikari again, I will use the same move against the guilty party”, Asuka confirmed. “There was no threat, just a fair warning. S-Ikari is not exactly best capable of defending himself, so it falls to me, a fellow pilot and a person far better trained in hand-to-hand combat to protect him”, Asuka kept going, her voice dangerously calm. “Do you have an issue with me protecting a fellow pilot, not to mention a fellow classmate, against an act of potential bullying? Or at least uncalled-for act of physical violence?” the redhead raised her eyebrow.

Hikari This Would Have Gone Differently If This Was A Normal Person Horaki’s face expressed certain stupefaction for a moment. She shook it off quickly enough to reply before Asuka reached for the door again. “Shikinami-san, this is not the point!” she objected. “You’re not allowed to immobilize your classmates or shove them against the wall!”

“Why not? Are they allowed to grab their classmates by the collar?” Asuka retorted.

“Boys will be boys”, the girl replied matter-of-factly, her voice defensive. “It’s normal between boys to–”

“Spare me the bullshit, Class Rep”, Asuka interrupted, her flippancy evaporating immediately; her voice turned to a hiss as her eyes narrowed. “If you’re fine with Aida grabbing Ikari, then either you’re fine with me grabbing Aida – or you’re playing some double standard here”, she rattled out. “And I’m **not** having that. Let me tell you one thing: I will do this again if it will be needed. Drop detention on me if you need to, report me to the headmaster if you have to, but–” Asuka stopped herself before using a short but effective conversation-ender. “But I won’t change”, she declared instead. “Not for you, not for your precious rules. I don’t **need** you, I don’t need **any of you**, I’m here as a **courtesy**”, she finished with emphasis and paused for a few seconds. “Now, is there anything else… Horaki-san?” she asked, her voice suddenly milder.

Hikari This Was Supposed To Go Very Differently Horaki stood there for a moment, her expression inscrutable, her brain slowly absorbing what she just heard. Then, she shook her head, her eyes dropping. “No. That’s all, Shikinami-san”, she replied in almost a whisper, her head down. “You may return to the classroom.”

“Thank you… Class Rep”, Asuka accepted. For a moment, she almost felt stupid; the girl in front of her looked completely _defeated_, not just _dejected_. Before she could say or do anything, though, the girl turned away.

“I’ll be there in a moment, should anybody ask”, Hikari Do Not Look At Me Now Horaki spoke and walked – no, almost _ran_ – away.

Asuka knew the taste of victory, and – just for a moment – she reveled in that taste. But now, for reasons she could not fathom, the taste was suddenly tainted with bitterness.

Aware that there was nothing to do with it except perhaps discuss it with the only person in the world she really cared about, she opened the door to the classroom.

A class that was in utter chaos.

A chaos that was focused on Shinji and his two dumb friends.

***

Shinji Ikari knew his two friends quite well. Both of them were rather direct and, while not exactly dumb, not the sharpest tools in the shed. This was not a function of their intelligence by any means. Touji, despite his preference for sport instead of classes, was quite capable of managing the school’s curriculum; he just did not care about it too much. Kensuke was quite a bookworm; even if he read mostly in the areas that interested him and gave minimal attention to the rest, he did give it _some_ attention. Shinji’s issue with him came from the fact that they were somewhat set in their ways and facts that contradicted their worldview needed to heap high and wide before they toppled over the walls surrounding their minds.

“Shin-man!” Touji jumped from his seat the moment the door closed behind the greatest threat he ever faced – even counting that one time he had almost been crushed by an Evangelion. “Are you all right?” he was right next to him, but for some unfathomable reason and against his usual habit, not grabbing his arms.

“I’m fine”, Shinji tilted his head. “Why?”

“We – we thought it was the last time we saw you!” Touji exclaimed. “I mean… we…”

“Well…” Shinji looked half-confused, half-amused. “It’s true I can get killed quite easily, but there was no Angel alert on Saturday or yesterday, so…” he trailed off. “I’m fine?”

“She didn’t harm you?” Touji narrowed his eyes at his friend.

“Touji…” Shinji let out a heavy sigh, his palm meeting his face. “She’s a fellow pilot. She’d _never_ harm me”, he half-lied. _‘Gods, trying to explain the subtleties of **this** to them… I would do better starting a fire, that’d cause less chaos’_, he realized. “Can we not go back to that?”

“But what if the berserks again?” Touji inquired, lowering his voice. “Are we safe?”

Shinji let out another sigh. “I can’t talk for her, but I think you are”, he reassured them. “I mean… she’s not bloodthirsty most of the time?” he tried, stretching the truth to its limits. “Don’t worry”, he added, trying to sound relaxed. “You’re safe, and I’m fine.”

Both Touji and Kensuke breathed a sigh of relief before Kensuke elbowed the larger boy: “Ask him!” he hissed.

“Ah! Yes!” Touji realized before lowering his voice to almost a murmur. “Do you need witness protection?” he asked. “I know a guy who knows a guy who could provide something like that”, he added in a conspiratorial whisper.

“A what?” Shinji shook his head in surprise, his tone back to serious again. “Guys, what is going on?” he asked in a worried voice.

“Witness protection!” Touji exclaimed before lowering his voice back to a whisper – of course, it was too late. “I mean–”

“Fuck”, Kensuke stated, matter-of-factly as the attention of the entire class turned to them. “There goes the secret.”

Shinji just returned his palm to his face.

***

Two seconds was all the time Asuka Langley Shikinami needed to decide to break this party up – a long time, considering that Shinji was very close to the center of the events. He was not in danger – but there was certainly some discomfort.

And she was obviously the only person in the world allowed to cause him discomfort, and only for a very specific purpose of provoking him.

Thus, logically, this whole situation could not stand.

“Ruhe!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. The word might have not been recognized, but the tone was unmistakable – and within a second, the silence reigned. “Thank you”, she continued, returning to Japanese. “The Class Rep will be back any minute, she had to leave for a moment”, she glibly omitted a few details, “and when she returns, I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing something else than a _pandemonium_ that I just witnessed”, she inserted the complicated word intentionally, only increasing the general confusion. “So, settle down and stop accosting Ikari and his… friends”, she demanded. “Lest some of the rumors you might’ve heard prove true”, she finished, her eyes narrow, her teeth dangerously bared.

There were more than a few looks exchanged – but nobody dared to call the clearly angry redhead on her declaration. She smiled a satisfied smile, walked to her desk, and dropped her bag before taking the chair.

Shinji breathed a discreet sigh of relief before doing the same. He knew well this was not over, and the rumors would surely continue – but at least for now, he did not need to fight the crowds off.

***

_Monday early afternoon_

“Here you are, Asuka”, Shinji was at the redhead’s desk about ten seconds after the teacher left, box in his hand.

“Thanks”, she took it with a small smile. “Want me to protect you against the troglodytes?”

“I… Asuka”, he gave her a glare. “Problematic as they are, they’re my friends. I don’t think I need protection right now…” he paused seeing a suppressed look of dismay on his girlfriend’s face. “But I wouldn’t mind your company just to be sure”, he finished with a smile. “Just let me make someone else smile”, he added, gesturing with a box in his other hand.

“What – ah. Right. You’re feeding stray cats”, Asuka rolled her eyes. “Sure”, she shrugged, her small smile intact.

Shinji nodded and gracefully moved towards Rei Ayanami’s desk.

***

Asuka watched them as they exchanged a few words – more than she saw the girl speak to anyone in the entire class last week. She was about to look away when she noticed that the girl _smiled_.

That made Asuka’s brows furrow. This behavior, by the blue-haired girl standards, could be considered almost _exuberant_. That, coupled with what Ayanami said during their chance elevator encounter not so long ago, could be a reason for concern – was it her attempt on _flirting_?

Asuka forgot about the unopened bento for a moment and focused on her emotions; in the passing months, she had grown better at discerning them, even without the help of the now-deeply-buried doll. But what she saw only confused her further.

There was some worry, yes, but it was negligible. There was a pleasant realization about Shinji being really good with defenseless beings in need of care – a thought she wrapped up and shelved as quickly as she could, refusing to consider its implications. Finally, there was also some jealousy about that time that could have been hers – but it was countered by the realization that it was about literal minutes, if not seconds; an amount of time that was important in battle, but rarely in social interactions – considering that she had him for herself half the time they were awake and all the time they were asleep.

_‘Ugh. Okay. Let’s put murdering the weirdo off the list for now. With all the fuss I made about protecting “a fellow pilot” it would look bad if I murdered another one’_, she concluded. _‘But at her first move that would indicate she wants to take him for herself… there will be blood. Not that **he** would notice, in the first place’_, she smirked to herself.

“Ready, Asuka?”

***

The redhead shook her head. “What?”

“Care to join us?” he rephrased. “You didn’t even start yours yet, so I thought…”

“Yeah, yeah”, she stood up. “Peace and all that crap”, she grumbled dismissively as she dropped her bottom on the chair next to Touji; she ignored his half-worried, half-hostile glare, focusing on a pleasant sensation that just stirred in her body. A sensation that reminded her that while a few days is enough to heal most damage and make sitting quite fine, the tenderness that remains is easily recalled by dropping on a hard chair with full body weight.

“Oi, I heard Shin-man’s cooking is quite good, but to purr before you open it?” Touji probed.

Asuka’s face momentarily went red. _‘Fuck. Slipping again. Fuck’,_ her thoughts raced – and reached a single possible conclusion: “Shut your trap, gorilla, or better – stuff it with food”, she hissed. “There are a few better uses for that mouth of yours than talking”, she added as she opened the box – and noticed that Shinji was choking.

“Are you all right?” she turned to him immediately – only to realize he was not choking on his food, but from laughter.

It took about three seconds to understand the possible reason, get even redder, and conclude joining this crowd was possibly not the best call she made today.

_‘Wonder-fucking-ful’_, she grumbled internally. _‘Let’s just hope this is the last bad decision I make today’_, she sighed before digging into the food.

***

_Monday afternoon_

“Okay, Shinji, can I count on you not getting lost on your way home?” Asuka asked as the class was packing up after the last class was dismissed.

“Oh, I don’t know”, he replied in a serious tone. “Are you worried to go hungry when you finally return?”

“I can always hunt some rats in the back alleys and make a stew”, she shrugged in response as she closed her bag. “Still better than Misato’s curry.”

“Fair enough. Hm”, he pondered for a moment. “Parmesan Rat sounds like an option”, he nodded. “You _may_ consider hunting just a few just to be sure.”

“Nah”, she shrugged again. “I’m quite sure that if you get lost, Misato will order some food.”

“I’d rather she ordered a search for me, but I suppose this cannot be done on an empty stomach”, Shinji retorted with a chuckle as they were leaving the classroom, followed by some curious looks.

“You can test it, get lost intentionally and I will report whom she would phone first”, Asuka grinned. “Anyway, I dearly hope you’ll have dinner ready once I’m done dealing with the crap Misato’s got ready for me. If not, I’m eating **you**.”

“Promises promises”, he winked.

Asuka suppressed a burst laughter; there were still too many people around to be so open.

“Well, had I known Japan produced such good a sausage, I would have gotten interested far sooner”, she quipped as they descended the stairs.

“Asuka…” Shinji gave her a doubting look, his face gaining a soft blush. “I was rather expecting some cream or yogurt joke.”

“Nah”, she grinned. “Be glad I didn’t say ‘salami’”, she winked. “And if you want to return the joke on some occasion, a minor note: **don’t** use the ‘fish’ jokes.”

Shinji tilted his head. “You’re the opposite of a fish. Why would I?”

“Oppo–ah”, realization dawned on her face. “No, not the ‘cold fish’ or ‘dead wood’ joke. I meant ‘smells like a fish’ bad jokes.”

“Wouldn’t that be a… hygienic issue?” he furrowed his brow. “And you’re too clean for that…”

“Well, thank you”, she chuckled, “but…” she paused, realizing her ears are turning red. “I’ll explain later. As needed. Okay?”

“Sure?” he agreed reluctantly.

“So, see you at dinnertime”, she declared and ran ahead.

“Don’t…” Shinji tried before realizing she was not going to hear him over all the students. “Don’t break anything important”, he finished for himself before setting out on an oddly lonely journey towards home.

***

_Somewhere in the NERV HQ, about an hour later_

“Are you serious, Misato?” the redhead glared at the officer with a mix of hope, doubt, and anger. “If this is some sick joke…”

“I am serious”, the woman reassured her. “Come on, I might be a bitch sometimes, but I’m not a monster”, she added, her voice sounding almost **hurt**.

“Fair point”, Asuka paused. “Well, of course I’ll bite. Did you expect me to refuse?”

Misato did not reply – but her expression said it all.

***

_Katsuragi residence, about thirty minutes later_

“We’re home!” Misato announced from the doorway.

“Welcome home!” Shinji jumped up from the couch, dropping the book he was reading on the coffee table. “Dinner is ready, so I suggest you hurry”, he smiled, taking a quick look at Asuka – and immediately concluding that something was bothering her. His quizzing look, shot as Misato was looking in a different direction, was answered with a small headshake and a look towards their guardian.

“Sure, Shin-chan, let me just wash my hands and change”, Misato confirmed before vanishing behind the bathroom door.

“How bad?” Shinji was aware they had about a minute.

“Not **bad**, but important”, Asuka quickly replied. “Like, some talking. She’s taking a dive today”, Asuka gestured towards the bathroom with her eyes.

“Roger that”, Shinji nodded. “Until evening then?”

“Yes, but first–” she grabbed his neck and placed a firm kiss on his lips. “I didn’t have that for a whole day”, she grinned – and felt a cold shiver run down her spine as she heard the bathroom door slide away. _‘Fuck’_ she could only think – before feeling a strong hand yanking her arm from its position on Shinji’s neck.

“Stop it, Asuka, it’s no reason to choke me!” Shinji suddenly raised his voice, his hand grasping her wrist.

Both Asuka and freshly-emerged Misato looked at him with a momentary confusion; Asuka reacted faster. “Reason enough! Now, hurry!” she yelled with mock anger as she barely managed to stop herself from laughing. Wrenching her hand from his grasp, she grabbed her bag and strolled haughtily towards her room; only behind the safety of her door she allowed her composure to collapse.

_‘God, that was close’,_ she admitted. _‘If not for him… Fuck. I deserve at least a ten, all with a fucking crop for this impatience… and I didn’t even breach the main topic for the night. Oh, this is going to be **fun**’_, she sighed before starting to change from her school uniform.

***

Outside the door, Misato gave Shinji a quizzing look. The boy shrugged. “Sorry, Misato. Asuka is… kind of impatient”, he replied, happy that the glib words came to him naturally.

“I’m sorry, Shinji”, Misato shook her head. “I might have upset her.”

“Is something wrong?” Shinji probed.

Misato took a deep breath. “Not **wrong**. I… I think she should tell you the details herself”, she dodged. “If she feels the need to, I mean, it does not concern you… directly. Ask her… but perhaps not today. You’re going to have another movie night tonight, right?” she changed the subject.

Shinji shook his head, unwilling to pry and aware Misato might spill something under the influence later. “I’m not sure, we have to return the movies tomorrow, but Asuka was saying something about ‘sparing me from the worst’ and the final movie being ‘impenetrable for someone with my mindset’”, he explained. “I suppose it’s her surprisingly civilized way of saying ‘you’re too stupid for this kind of humor’”, he shrugged.

“Shin-chan, don’t sell yourself short–” Misato started.

“Misato, please”, Shinji smiled a sad smile. “I’m not the smartest one here, right? I have other qualities, but this ‘education project’ was doomed from the start. Why don’t you change and come for the dinner?”

Misato took a few steps towards Shinji and pulled him into a wordless hug.

_‘Okay. Not the result I was planning for, but a result I can live with’_, he chuckled internally as his head found itself on the Second Best Pillows In The Whole Apartment.

***

The dinner was a quiet affair, and from Misato’s point of view, a bit awkward. But for her teenage charges, it was merely filled with pretending and waiting.

“Misato”, Shinji broke the silence first as he finished his food. “Will you be needing the table today? I need to ask Asuka for help, and this would be easier here than in any of our rooms”, he explained.

Misato gave him a somewhat surprised look to which Asuka reacted with a chuckle. “What, did you think I would invite him to my room to perv on my stuff?”

“I do your laundry, Asuka”, Shinji countered. “And I would be inviting you to my room, but I suppose it would be too cramped and too _simple_ to you”, he continued.

“Possibly”, the girl shrugged. “What do you need help with?”

“Trigonometry”, he admitted. “Today’s class was a bit… confusing.”

“Didn’t we–” she stopped herself from suddenly saying too much. “Didn’t we got it explained?”

“I could still use your help”, Shinji smiled sheepishly. “If you don’t mind leaving the table to us, Misato?”

“Mm, no problem, Shin-chan”, she waved her hand. “I’ll just grab another beer and watch something. You do your studying”, she smiled as she lifted the bowl to finish it.

“Thank you”, he smiled a warmer smile and winked at Asuka who was trying to maintain her best poker face.

***

“…and that’s how you find the secant. Reverse it and you got the cosine”, Asuka explained. “Can you pick it up from here?”

“I… believe so”, he confirmed. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome”, she shrugged. “Anything else, or can I go back to my own?” she asked with an annoyance in her voice but a smile on her face.

“Asuka, be nicer to him!” Misato called from the couch. “He’s reaching out to you!”

“I know, I know, but why does it mean more work for me?” Asuka grumbled, the smile still on her face.

“He’s feeding you and cleaning for you, you’re teaching him – I call it a bargain!”

_‘And he’s spanking me, and I give him the best orgasms of his life… so far’_, Asuka supplemented, making sure this thought does not get out. “Yeah, yeah. Another beer for the one that works on both of us?” Asuka changed the subject.

“In a moment, I’ve still got some”, Misato refused. “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome”, Asuka shrugged as she returned to her own homework – and just before asking Shinji with a look and a gesture about yet another odd kanji.

_‘Pity there’s no language we know – and Misato doesn’t’_, she pondered. _‘That would make things easier. Theoretically, I can try convincing Shinji to take an auxiliary French course… but this would be more effort than it is worth. I’d rather have him go French on me in a different way… fuck. Let’s **not** follow this train of thoughts right now’_, she stopped herself as she realized that her face got flushed and Shinji was shooting her quizzical looks. ‘I’m fine’, she noted on the scratch page. Shinji raised an eyebrow; Asuka took a good look, scratched the characters, and wrote them again, a little bit differently; now, he nodded, realization on his face.

‘Anything else?’ he scribbled; Asuka shook her head in response, returning her focus to the remaining modern Japanese tasks; she wanted to have them ready for him to check before he finished his Math homework. After all, cooperation did not preclude a certain degree of rivalry.

And the sooner they were done, the sooner she would be able to get the more important things off her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, I felt compelled to split a chapter lest it grows to a horrible size. Next time: The Serious Talk begins. And, hopefully, ends. There might be a few lemons, too.
> 
> To those interested in potential size of the story: it will certainly exceed 30 chapters; it _may_ wrap in about 35, but this is uncertain. This is of course an estimate, and as I wrote before - it will take as many as it takes to tell the story to a proper end.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I was wrong about having no lemons. Apparently, if you let people in a honeymoon phase do as they will, **some** sex might be inevitable.
> 
> Also, I noticed that I made a mistake several times by calling Misato “Major” or “Lieutenant Colonel” in previous chapters, while in 2.22, she’s a full Colonel. This has been fixed in all the offending places.
> 
> That being said: enjoy the confession and its consequences!

_Monday evening_

With Misato firmly underwater – which has been confirmed collectively by both teenagers via a short reenactment of the stoning scene right next to the door to Misato’s room – and all routine activities finished, the couple met in de facto their room, Shinji putting his newly acquired practical skills to the test.

“Thank you. I could get used to that…” Asuka smiled at Shinji as he put the brush down. “But now…” her tone turned serious. “Sit down. We need to talk”, she turned on the stool to face him.

Shinji blinked. “I didn’t know we were **that** far into a relationship”, he quipped, only to be cut off by a serious look. “What is it?” his voice turned serious. “Ah, right”, he quickly realized. “Your today’s trip to NERV”, he answered his own question as he sat on the bed and focused on his suddenly serious girlfriend.

Asuka took a deep breath, and spoke up, her voice just a bit uncertain: “I am volunteering for the Unit-03 test”, she declared firmly.

Shinji blinked several times, his expression confused. “Why?”

“It’s not easy to explain, so bear with me”, she requested, her face serious, her stomach in knots. She took another deep breath. “A while ago, I would’ve told you ‘because this a part of what I am, a pilot’ or just told you to ‘bugger off because this is not your business’. And it’s partially true, still. The ‘part of me’ thing, not ‘not your business’”, she quickly corrected herself, a small smile creeping in for a moment. “Now… this gives me a chance to pilot, to be in the Eva again”, she closed her eyes, her voice firm. “I know you don’t care about piloting much, to put it mildly, but it’s been the focus of my life for… well, most of – virtually all – my conscious existence.”

“I… I can understand that”, he admitted. “But–”

“Let me finish”, she interrupted with a gesture; her expression still serious. “There’s more to that. I am happy now, and I feel like I’m home, okay?” she shot her eyes open just in time to see a rather shocked expression on his face; she chuckled at that. “Yes, Shinji-dear, you made a home for me, for a battle-hardened warrior who lost her previous one at the age of four”, her voice broke just a bit. “How does this feel?”

“Unreal?” he managed, clearly moved.

“But it happened”, she smiled for a short moment. “And now, consider this: what will happen if I am not useful?” she paused for a second, her face going back to serious. “They’ll send me back”, her voice shook just a bit. “Back, across the whole damn world, back to Germany, to do some crap test work on a new Evangelion, or worse, to live a normal life as a student”, her tone shifted to a disdainful hiss for a moment, “or to start a doctorate in some field I ‘can be of use in’. And I am a soldier, so I will have to go as ordered. And then we’re utterly, completely, entirely, and totally fucked”, she stated, matter-of-factly. “I’m **not** going lose you”, she finished before her tone dropped to a soft whisper. “Please don’t try to talk me out of it.”

There was a moment of heavy silence. “I… understand”, he accepted. “And… thank you”, he added after a moment as he reached for her hand. The touch startled her, but she did not pull back as he enveloped her palm in his both hands. “I… won’t. I mean – I won’t try to talk you out of this. Just tell me…” he paused and took a deep breath. “Is this the only reason? It’s not, right? Just the most important one?”

“Since when you’re so insightful?” she scoffed with a small smile as she raised her eyebrow.

“Since you allowed me to know you a bit better?” he explained, his voice warm. “I hope you don’t regret doing that”, his voice turned serious.

Asuka let out a heavy sigh. “And what if I did? What could I do? Change suddenly so you don’t know me anymore? Hit you on the head so hard that you forget me?” she smiled a crooked smile before resuming a more serious countenance. “No, no regrets”, she shook her head. “And you’re right, it’s not the only one. I still **want **to pilot. It’s not **all** that matters in my life, not anymore, thanks to you, but it’s still an **important** part of my life”, she explained, her eyes locked with his. “Can you accept that?” she asked, apprehension in her voice. “Because this is not going to change anytime soon.”

He took her hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of her palm. “I would never dare to take it from you, darling”, he declared solemnly – but with a smile crossing his face. “Neither that nor anything else.”

“I assume my dignity doesn’t count?” she retorted, her crooked smile returning, her voice carrying a not-so-subtle subtext.

“I thought you always give that up freely? Even… eagerly?” his smile suddenly matched hers. “And cannot wait to do it again?”

A fluttering in the redhead’s stomach attested to the truth of Shinji’s words. “As if you needed to ask”, she looked aside, her cheeks reddening. “And you enjoy that way, way too much. Pervert”, she scoffed.

“Guilty as charged. What is my sentence?” his smile grew cheekier.

“Lifetime with me, I suppose”, she replied only to blush when she realized the possible implications; she shelved that realization for later consideration. “If you ever leave me, there **will** be blood”, she quickly added.

“I can’t imagine leaving you”, Shinji replied, his voice full of conviction – and, simultaneously, relieved. “And if something forces me”, his voice turned shaky, “I know you’ll tear that something apart.”

Asuka grinned a predatory grin. “Oh, it’d be begging for death.”

He only smiled in response. There was something in that smile, something that Asuka **liked**, something **vicious**, almost **cruel** – but this cruelty was clearly not directed towards her. No, for a short moment, she felt like she was looking into a face of a fellow hunter, ready to tear a defeated prey together, or a fellow warrior, ready to conquer the world with her. _‘I’d love that… I really hope he would, too’_, she pondered._ ‘But one thing at a time. Let’s not ask about his plans for world domination… yet’_, she decided.

_‘Not that he scares off easily, now…’_ another part of her mind whispered, still reluctant to return, but slowly becoming vocal once more. _‘He’ll go to the end of the world with you. You already spilled blood together. Don’t let that go to waste… and don’t ever disappoint him’_, the thoughts kept flowing in.

_‘Oh, hello again’_, Asuka remarked._ ‘I’m not stupid’_, she countered. _‘And I’m not an ingrate. I know what I’m holding in my hand’_, she shook her introspection off. “So… no objections?” her tone changed to serious again as she saw his face in front of her again.

“To tearing apart?” his eyebrows raised, his smile returning to a humorous one.

“To me piloting…” the redhead rolled her eyes, her grin reduced to an expression of amusement.

“I… don’t** like **it”, he reluctantly responded, eliciting a confused look from the redhead. “The idea of you doing this test, I mean, having you as a fellow pilot is a great thing”, he smiled for a very short moment; eliciting a pleased expression from her. “It’s a prototype, right? It can explode, for all we know”, his voice turned shakier for a moment. “Just like Unit-04?” he recalled. “But… talking you out of it just feels wrong. I… I just don’t want to lose you, that’s all.”

“You won’t”, she shrugged. “Best-case scenario, I get to wreck Unit-03, Misato or your dad will read me the Riot Act and make me write ‘I will not wreck Evangelions’ a thousand times, then they will pull out my Eva from epoxy, I will take part in the reactivation, and everyone lives happily ever after”, she shrugged with a wry smile on her face. “Worst case scenario, the test is going to be a boring, tedious sequence of ‘now do this’ and ‘now do that’. Misato told me more-or-less what to expect when we talked today. Well, I’m the most logical choice, after all.”

“They have that girl that fell on your head, don’t they?” Shinji interjected. “Why not her?”

“Makinami? Yes, but I have no idea what her status is right now, and to be honest, she cannot have more experience than I do”, Asuka shrugged. “Actually, it’s another thing to poke Misato about, but I’m quite sure I’ll hear the usual ‘need to know basis, and you don’t need to know’”, she shrugged again. “But she told me the test is simple: slap a test plugsuit on, calibrate it, survive the slow activation test, walk a few paces with the thing, do a kata to test coordination and calibrate sync rate measurements, survive the slow power-down, and off to the showers to remove the crap and be ready for your refined senses”, she allowed herself a smirk. “A few hours at most, less than an hour if there are no hitches.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad”, he agreed, blushing slightly. “Want me to be there?”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind that for sure, but I don’t think they’d let you”, she grumbled. “Unless someone in the command is a complete idiot, it’ll be done somewhere away from NERV HQ, so they’ll be keeping you and the… and Ayanami close to your own Evas for potential Angel attack. Besides, they’d not let you close to it anyway. We’ll celebrate in the evening, I bet Misato will be either swamped by paperwork, up her elbows in a clean-up, or drinking with the good doctor afterward.”

“Sounds like a plan”, Shinji smiled. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“You better, with some good food and readiness for some _fun_ afterward”, she grinned. “Whew”, she breathed an audible sigh of relief. “This could’ve gone a lot worse, I suppose.”

Shinji tilted his head. “Were you expecting me to, I don’t know, try to just deny you that? Or maybe yell at you?”

“Not **deny**”, she shook her head, “and not yell. That’s not your style, that I know. But I did expect you to either try to talk me out of it or act morose and – consciously or not – try to pressure me out of it.”

Shinji smiled sheepishly. “I told you, I don’t like it… but I think I can tell the difference between ‘stop me’ and ‘make me’… and ‘my mind is set’”, he stated.

“I guess so”, she smiled warmly. “Maybe opening up to you was not the worst decision of my life”, she winked.

“‘Not the worst decision’ is a pretty low bar, darling”, he eyed her with doubt. “Want to talk about it?”

Asuka chuckled as she rose from the stool in front of the vanity, her hands sliding out of his. “No, because you know well what I meant, and I know you know, and you know that I know that you know”, she declared. “Now, move your ass. It’s still my bed and you’re in the way.”

“Right”, he chuckled as he moved aside and pulled his legs up to kneel on the bed. “Hm, there’s one thing I guess you didn’t take into account…”

“And that is?” Asuka dropped on her back and directed her eyes up on Shinji.

“If it’s a test, a proper test with measurements and all, won’t Doctor Akagi want to examine you before and after?” he pointed out. “Thoroughly?”

“**Fuck**”, the expression of annoyed realization emerged on Asuka’s face after a few seconds of pondering. “You’re most probably right. Fuck… and that means no reducing my sentence of fifty-five before the test”, she sulked. “Except _maybe_ via my feet, but that’s not a very endearing prospect.”

“It’s sixty, Asuka”, Shinji deadpanned.

“I’m pretty sure it’s fifty-five”, Asuka’s brows furrowed as she gazed sideways at him.

“I merely added five more for your language tonight, darling”, the deadpan turned into a wry smile.

“Oh, fuck you and your rules”, she hissed, her tone contrasting with a smile growing on her face.

“Do you want me to make it a ten for blatant disregard of the agreement?” Shinji raised his eyebrow, his smile unchanged.

Asuka giggled internally at the exchange._ ‘This, exactly this… ahh, yes, please’_, she felt the joy of having someone to banter with – and with some _interesting_ stakes. Of course, the perspective of actually _taking_ the punishments made her stomach flutter – but this was, in a twisted way, also a positive reaction.

“Oh my. I wonder what will you do when all my bad habits are rooted out and I am finally a perfect, prim, and proper maiden without a single flaw… what will you punish me for then?” the redhead’s smile widened and her tone turned mocking.

“Asuka…” Shinji barely managed to stifle an obvious bout of laughter. “We know very well, both of us, that there are some things you will never give up, even if I would give you a twenty for occurrence. They’re just too much… you”, he stated, his voice amused. “Besides… even if such a miracle would happen, I could always invite you over my lap if there’s nothing on the count, right?”

“Oh yes”, she grinned. “I suppose that if I ever became the perfect lady, which is about as probable as Misato declaring lifetime sobriety, I’d quickly start **asking** for a strapping”, she admitted. “Of course, the pervert you are, you’d turn it into some ritual or a scene for your enjoyment”, she eyed him with a mock complaint in her voice.

“Or you’d find some creative way to ask, likely one that would make me blush or worse”, he countered. “Like the pervert **you** are”, he added.

“You’re just **asking** to be bitten or whacked over your head”, Asuka hissed, her eyes narrow – but shining.

“Well, it has been a while since I added to the count for acts of direct physical violence”, he retorted with a ponderous nod.

“If you want to spank me so badly, why don’t you just order me to lie over your lap or to hold the bedframe here and now?” she asked, well aware of the fluttering in her stomach – and arousal – this suggestion has just caused.

“It’s a good question, darling”, Shinji smiled. “But for now, you did nothing that would earn you that… in either a good or a bad way.”

“Didn’t I?” she looked at him with doubt in her eyes. “I’d say I deserve a few for _almost_ handing us on a silver platter to Misato today.”

Shinji’s face turned serious. “Good point, darling”, he nodded and paused for a moment before letting a mean smile crawl out on his face. “And what punishment would you give yourself for that?”

Asuka’s stomach fluttered again and her eyes narrowed at him once more. “You enjoy that, don’t you, you monster? Forcing me to make up my own punishment? What’s next, making me whip **myself**? While you **watch**?” she narrowed her eyes at him, her voice approaching a hiss.

“Say the word, refuse plainly… or determine your own penalty… Miss Langley”, his smile remained. “We’ll consider your… suggestion later.”

“Have it your way… sir”, she smiled a crooked smile, doing her best to ignore the tingling sensation his declaration of ‘later’ triggered. “I believe I deserve a ten added to my count for that, as this was a safety transgression, five to be exercised immediately on my feet or my hands, as you will”, she declared, trying to keep her voice steady.

“All right… Miss Langley”, he _resumed_. “Your count is now seventy, but in a moment, I will take five off it. I believe we wanted to test the alternative to the crop… the strap on the hands”, he continued, eliciting another purr and a pleased look on Asuka’s face. “Go get the strap and give it to me”, he _commanded_.

“Yes, sir”, she purred again and jumped up from the stool.

***

Shinji Ikari was used to emotional rollercoasters, so this one – especially that it was not _that_ serious – did not damage his ability to think in the slightest. He was still concerned about the whole piloting business, but Asuka did have a strong point about making herself useful – and activation tests, while technically risky, were far less dangerous than actual fights. He processed what he was told: Asuka still cared about piloting, was actively working towards maintaining that status, and had not seemed to even think about consulting him before giving Misato the answer. On one hand, this was perfectly fine – this was her personal choice, her career, her service. On the other, this affected him as well. On a third, she did it with him in mind – making herself useful meant she increased her chances of staying close to him. On a fourth–

_‘I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?’_ he realized. _‘Why can’t I focus on the task at hand, on doing things so many boys would **kill**_ _for a chance of doing?’_ he asked himself as he realized that Asuka was clearly playing her usual game with him. She was perfectly nude under the rather flimsy nightgown, a fact that she demonstrated that without a trace of hesitance or shame as she bent over to retrieve the strap from the drawer. This was not something unexpected, of course, but it was still something he had trouble getting used to, despite this happening nearly every night. _‘Because I want to make her happy. And properly. But for now… this means giving her the pain she deserves… no. The pain she **desires**’_, he concluded.

Having sorted that out, he pushed further concerns and looking for possible solutions or ways to make it easier for her for later – and focused on Asuka approaching him.

“The implement of your power, sir, and the tool of my torment”, Asuka stated in her soft voice as she extended her hands, the strap laid out flat on her palms. “Please use it as you see fit.”

Shinji smiled as he picked it up; a small shiver ran down his spine. _‘Definitely kill for the chance of doing’_, he confirmed silently. _‘And be killed trying, too. Gods, I don’t know how this didn’t end in blood on the way here, but I’m going to make sure it never does.’_

***

Asuka, unaware of the stampede of thoughts in the head of her boyfriend-and-dom, curtsied deeply as her hands were relieved of the implement. “How do you want me, sir?”

“Sitting on your stool, hands extended, Miss Langley”, he decided, smiling an appreciating smile at her gesture.

She dropped to the position in a slow, fluent move. “Do you want me to undress, sir?” she asked, her head turned to the side.

“Perhaps later”, Shinji decided after a second of pondering. “Right now you will tell me what you are being punished for, Miss Langley.”

“I am being punished for lack of proper assessment of the situation… and for my greediness”, she replied. “I wanted to kiss you so badly, sir, that I forgot to be careful.”

“Yes, Miss Langley”, Shinji confirmed. “I expect you to count… and thank me.”

Asuka took a deep breath, feeling a familiar feeling in her nether parts once more, this time not just a small tingling. _‘So much for keeping my hands to myself tonight… or to him’_, she realized. “Yes, sir”, she confirmed, seeing an unspoken question about the delay in his look.

The strap rested on her palms; she closed her eyes.

A move up, a move down – and a sound, so similar to the sound of impact on the bottom, yet somewhat different, just as different as the sensation: still painful, of course, but not sharp, spread evenly, encompassing, _pleasant_.

_‘Uh oh. Let me guess, “pain slut” applies to me more and more with every punishment?’_ an errant thought crossed her mind. _‘What gives, he just has to invent ways of actually **punishing** me once I start to enjoy every other thing he does to me’_, she chuckled internally before realizing she was supposed to do something. “One! Thank you, sir!” she rattled out quickly.

The strap rested on her hand again as she lifted them back to the perpendicular position – and as quickly it fell. “Two! Thank you, sir!” she exclaimed in a whisper as she reveled in the stinging sensation radiating down her forearms.

Her eyes remained closed as she exclaimed “Three! Thank you, sir!” – just a grin emerged on her face.

“Enjoying yourself, Miss Langley?” a voice came from above.

“Should I not, sir?” she asked, her hands outstretched and waiting for another strike.

“Well, it is a **punishment**…” Shinji stated the obvious.

“Believe me, sir, it hurts”, Asuka reassured him, her grin only minimally reduced. “But I know I deserve it and I am happy to receive it. Please let me enjoy that”, she requested, a part of her surprised at the words that were flowing out of her mouth – even if they felt very natural to her right now. “Can I have more, please, sir?”

“As if I could ever refuse such a request…” Shinji smiled a small, permissive smile as he raised the strap.

“Four! Thank you, sir!” she exclaimed as low as she could, her hands shaking – but returning to the proper position immediately. “Five! Thank you, sir!” she declared just a few seconds later.

She heard the sound of the strap being put away and the silent squeak of the mattress. “You were very brave, Miss Langley. Come and claim your hugs”, Shinji declared.

He was perfectly aware of Asuka’s position, as well as his own. But he never saw the attack coming.

***

“Asuka…” Shinji tried from under relatively light and definitely lean – but also indisputably greedy and overwhelming – redhead.

“Mmm?” she purred as she rubbed herself against him.

“Are you all right?” he checked.

“Perfectly fine, Shinji-dear. And taken care of”, she purred into his ear. “Why? Do you have any wishes?”

“Just checking”, he replied with a smile. “You know I’m often perfectly fine with just holding you”, he added after a moment.

“Oh, yes. I know”, she rose, supporting herself on her elbows and looking him in the face – while rubbing her thigh against his growing erection. “But is ‘fine’… enough?” she asked, her smile growing as he gasped, his face assuming the unmistakably lustful expression. “Want me to do something with it?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“I don’t want to abuse you, Asuka”, his tone turning to serious as much as it was possible under the current pressure, the lust in his eyes subdued for a moment.

“Shinji, my darling”, she started just as seriously. “I have the word at my disposal. And…” she paused ponderously before turning to a much more confident voice. “And I **want** you to abuse me. Well, maybe not _abuse, n_ot pointlessly, not stupidly, not cruelly, no. You’re far too civilized for that, too concerned for me, and, if somewhat annoying at times, I like that in you. But to _push_ me? I expect you to _ask_… no, I expect you to _demand_ things”, she explained. “And one of three results may happen when you do: one, I use the word and we talk about it; two, we have a banter and something interesting may come out of it… or three, you’ll get what you demanded”, her eyebrow twitched in amusement. “I told you already – I won’t be your slave, ever, and I will fight it tooth and nail should you aim for it, and I won’t lose… but if you don’t push _at all_, I’ll be disappointed.”

Shinji took a deep breath, his stomach fluttering. “And we can’t have that, darling?”

“We can’t have that”, she echoed, her breathing speeding up. “So, what is it going to be… sir?” she raised an eyebrow. “Don’t hold back”, she added in a hoarse whisper.

Shinji took another deep breath, his eyes closed. For a moment, a fearful thought crossed Asuka’s mind: _‘Have I overdone it? Have I–’_

“On your knees, Miss Langley”, he _commanded_ as his eyes slowly opened. “Use your lips, use your tongue, make me come, and don’t let a drop spill”, he ordered.

“Yes, sir”, she replied, sudden exhilaration giving her shivers all over her body. “Will you allow me to please myself as I do it?”

Shinji’s face expressed uncertainty for a moment – before a smirk emerged on his face. “No. You can… do that only after you’re done with me”, he replied, his face blushing as he tried to decide on the words to use. “And when I can see it. See you in all your glory.”

She narrowed her eyes; he could see them shine despite that. “That’s a cruel stipulation, sir”, she protested.

“You’re using your mouth in the wrong way, Miss Langley”, he retorted. “On your knees”, he _repeated_, his hand slowly moving along her spine towards her neck.

“But sir–”, she tried to counter with all her will, suddenly curious how much she could resist that _tone_ of his – a second before his hand reached her hair and locked firmly at their roots. “Yes, sir”, she agreed as she slid down the bed, followed by him moving to the edge of the bed. _‘Damn, that’s cheating!_’ a part of her protested. _‘If he does that, he can make me do anything’_, she grumbled internally – and quickly realized that this was more of a feature than a problem. _‘Damn it, another thing to think of… or just roll with. Oh, fuck that’_, she decided as she felt the roughness of carpet under her knees. From that moment, she let her instinct and growing experience take over as she grabbed the hems of his briefs. She smiled just before her mouth engulfed him – and her expression turning to satisfaction as he gasped under her ministrations.

***

“M-Miss Langley”, he gasped.

“Yes, sir?” Asuka asked as innocently as possible under the circumstances, letting him slide out of her mouth just for long enough for her to ask that question.

“I know I didn’t say ‘how quickly’, but you’re-ah-earning yourself a trip over my knee with-aah-that teasing”, he managed between gasps.

“I know”, she slid out again, taking care to do it as slowly as possible and to use every opportunity to tease him even more. Her eyes lit up as she clearly succeeded to draw a long gasp out of him. _‘Come on, darling, use your brain… as hard as it might be right now’_, she giggled internally. _‘You can order me to make you come, and you’d be bursting in no time… but until you do, I’m going to be the little brat who will use all the power she’s been given. And I’ll take the licks for that with **pride**…’_ she mused with glee as she elicited a reaction after reaction from the helpless boy.

***

Shinji’s thoughts were chaotic; formulating anything coherent during the relentless assault he was currently being exposed to felt like an impossibility. The assault was, of course, immensely pleasant: the adjective he often used – ‘heavenly’ – fit here as well. But in some way, his girlfriend managed to do the impossible and add ‘hellishly’ to the mix as well: her ministrations were – intentionally, as it seemed – not bringing him closer to a climax, but keeping him on the edge.

He considered – as much as he was capable of, between the bouts of pleasure – his options. Threatening Asuka with proper punishment felt wrong: this was not a misdeed; this was, at worst, mischief. A ‘trip over his knee’ – something he already put on the table – was not going to be a threat at all. He could, of course, call out the word – but this would mess up the mood and ruin her enjoyment as well, and the situation was not so dire. At least, not yet. He could try to outlast her – but he had no idea how much stamina Asuka had in comparison to his sensitivity – and he felt like losing his mind already. Lastly, he could try to convince her to finish it; after all, his initial command contained the ‘make me come’ part.

He focused on the last option, and as soon as he did, his mind helpfully presented him with several possibilities, illustrated with images: a stern command, amplifying the words with a gesture, grabbing her by her hair, forcing her head down as she fought for breath–

_‘Uh oh.’_

***

Asuka, unaware of the turmoil in Shinji’s head, continued her ministrations. She knew well she could not continue teasing him for too long – as eager as she was, her mouth and tongue were getting tired. Besides, her goal was to actually make him climax in the end, and from what she read – and experienced on herself, as much as this could be mirrored to male anatomy – it was possible to overstimulate to a level where the orgasm became unpleasant – or simply impossible without some rest. That she would consider a failure.

_‘Let him stew for a moment more, though’_, she decided a moment before she realized something was not going according to plan: a familiar increase in size along with a long gasp that reached her ears made her realize she had failed – but not in a way she was worried about.

_‘Uh oh.’_

***

“Asuka…” Shinji finally managed as his girlfriend climbed up to cling to him after giving him a treatment he could only describe as ‘tongue bath’.

“Mm?” she smiled as she snuggled against his side with a wide, lazy smile. “What is it?”

“Why?” he managed to ask.

“If you want an answer, you need to be a little more specific”, she quipped.

“The… finale? The licks?” he tried.

“Ah. Didn’t like that?” she inquired.

“It was… wonderful, but… why did you do that?”

“You told me ‘not to spill a drop’”, she explained with a crooked smile. “And I follow my orders.”

“Oh”, he realized. “Good girl”, he smiled and gave the small of her back a scratch; she purred and rubbed herself against his thigh, her lack of undergarment obvious, along with her arousal. “And you’re a cruel, cruel woman”, he added.

“I know”, she smiled. “Do you want to punish me for that?” she asked as she repeated the rubbing movement.

“Not today”, he smiled. “I’m in too good of a mood, I suppose.”

“Does this mean I get to finish myself off, sir?” she requested.

“I think you deserved to”, he agreed. “Or, if you prefer… I can take care of that”, he suggested with a mean smirk.

Asuka purred again, completely missing his expression. “If you could be so kind, sir”, she requested, her voice returning to the submissive register. “How do you want me?”

“I want to see your face”, he replied with a smile. “All the time from the start to the moment you’re done.”

“I think I can arrange that”, she answered with a wide smile as she detached from him.

***

“Please, sir, please stop the teasing and let me come”, Asuka pleaded, looking at Shinji’s face looming over her as she was lying on her back.

“I thought you enjoyed teasing”, he quipped, the movements of his hand still fast enough to keep arousing her, but far too slow for her to reach the peak. “Was I wrong?”

Asuka’s eyes narrowed for a moment. _‘Fuck you, I hate this, I love this, I’ll murder you, I’ll beat you to death, I’ll make you beg yourself…’_ a train of thoughts ran through her mind. She knew she could interrupt this, of course; nothing – short of his likely objections – stopped her from reaching and finishing it herself. She felt torn between the pleasure and awareness that this was simply building up to a stronger climax – and annoyance at essentially walking into the trap herself, her eyes wide open. _‘Let me guess… there’s only one way? “All dignity abandon ye who are in his hands”?’_ she quipped to herself with amused resignation – and took a deep breath between the gasps.

“Please sir, please finish this”, she spoke in a raspy, pleading voice before gasping again. “I’m sorry for teasing you, I’m so sorry, but I was a good girl, I swallowed it all, I lapped it all off your skin, can I have my reward?” she pleaded, her eyes locked with his.

Shinji let out a sigh. “It’s difficult to be strict with you, Miss Langley, with those big, pleading eyes of yours. I hope you learned your lesson…” he sped up. “We’ll reinforce that later, but right now… yes”, he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips, smiling as he retreated. After a momentary pondering, he leaned in again – and this time captured her lips properly as his hand settled into a rhythm Asuka seemed to enjoy the most.

***

A regular, soft purring against Shinji’s chest was a strange sensation; not entirely new, and definitely welcome, but somehow odd.

Shinji reached and softly touched Asuka’s face.

“Mm?” a dreamy voice tried to communicate as she raised her head just a bit.

“Checking for whiskers”, he explained. “You’re purring more than it should be possible on one breath.”

“Breathing practice”, she retorted in the same dreamy tone. “Quite useful when I’m blowing you, too”, she admitted with a shameless smile. “On that part… opinions? Remarks? Suggestions?”

“Still heavenly”, he replied. “And… hellish”, he pulled out some of his musings.

“Yeah. You definitely took our revenge, thought”, she giggled.

“Not enough, yet, but it’s not the end”, he smiled. “Objections?” Shinji raised an eyebrow.

“Fair is fair”, she retorted. “Don’t expect me to ‘learn the lesson’, though”, she declared, her speech slower and dreamier than usual.

Shinji shook his head. “And there goes my hope for making you a prim and proper lady”, he stated dramatically.

“Right”, Asuka scoffed with a smile. “Says a proper and virtuous teacher.”

“Well, one is worth the other”, Shinji conceded. “Your opinions? Remarks? Suggestions?”

“Intense, appropriate, merciless, great”, she listed, her voice purring again. “One remark, though… or more like a question. You came despite me being rather random in my movements. I thought it required direct stimulation for some time? I wonder what happened? My beauty aside, of course.”

“I’m not sure”, he admitted with a smile. “The obvious aside, of course”, he confirmed.

“Maybe you like ordering me around more than we thought? Having power over me?” she probed with a smirk. “Having me broken like that?”

“Broken?” he sounded surprised. “Hardly. More like ‘eager’, darling”, he nuzzled her hair. “And… I do. Like to order you around, I mean. Hm”, he pondered. “Maybe it **was** because of that?” he recalled his thoughts and images that came to his mind. “I’m not sure. But it… it still feels odd. I’m not sure I should… we should go too deep into that, though”, his voice turned worried.

“Stop”, her tone suddenly turned steely as she shifted from resting her head on his chest to looming over him with all her body. He blinked in surprise at the sudden change. “Don’t you ever doubt that”, she demanded.

“Doubt what?” he tilted his head.

“I mean – don’t let the doubts stop you”, she shook her head. “We go as deep as we want to… unless you fear something?” she looked at him, her look scrutinizing. Shinji’s face contracted.

“You are”, she realized. “Shinji, tell me. I’m here for you, and I promise not to laugh.”

“Asuka…” he started, uncertain.

“Tell me”, she demanded.

“Asuka, we had this talk before, and you may think of me as, I don’t know, a worrywart”, he smiled a weak smile. “But it still lingers. I don’t want to become a monster. Just that”, he finally explained.

Asuka let out a sigh. “Shinji-dear. I trust you with my life, my dignity, my body, and my soul”, she declared, her voice firm. “Can you trust me when I promise to tell you **the moment** I notice you sliding down the slippery slope?”

“Can I burden you with that?” he asked, doubt lingering in his voice.

“Burden?” she raised an eyebrow. “Come on! This is some basic care for a partner, isn’t it? And for myself, for that matter”, her voice turned incredulous. “Listen. I know the sources I gave you were extensive, and it’s possible that subtleties of English elude you, but _subs are responsible_ _for maintaining the health of the relationship as well_, sometimes even more so than doms. So, yes, I’ll be watching you”, she declared. “Trust me”, she requested in a softer voice.

Shinji’s smile turned warmer. “If you put it this way… it’s hard to refuse.”

“Good”, she said as she nested against his side again. “Because my arms were getting tired already.”

“Hm”, Shinji pondered.

“What is it?” she inquired.

“Thank you”, he replied warmly. “I mean… when you put it like this, I feel… safer already.”

“Safe enough to give me Hell when I ask for it?” she asked, her voice somewhat husky.

“Maybe even to make you ask for it in the first place”, he replied, amusement returning to his voice.

“You know I’m going to put that to the test?” she checked, her eyebrow raised.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” he smiled, matching her expression.

“Both, Shinji-dear”, she chuckled. “And now, I have a very serious question you might give some thought.”

“Oh?” his expression turned attentive again.

“I’m going to hit the bathroom before we drift away into the arms of Morpheus”, she declared. “Do you want me to wash up… or do you want to smell of a bitch in heat in the morning? Because I am going to be rubbing against you either way”, she smiled a shameless smile.

Shinji shook his head. “I still can’t get used to that language, you know?” he admitted. “It’s a bit…”

“Demeaning?” Asuka raised an eyebrow. “Self-degrading?”

“A bit?” he admitted.

“It’s not here and now, it fits the mood, and you can use it too in the right mood”, Asuka shrugged. “Of course, **anyone** who would have called me like that outside the right context would end up as a bloody blotch on the wall. Even if you’d call me out on it later and told me to present my bottom for fifty for that.”

“It would be a serious moral issue to consider… but I think you have enough of a reputation for this never to happen”, Shinji smiled. “And to answer your question… I like your smell. If we can keep it safe… leave it as it is.”

“With pleasure”, she grinned. “The only price will be to sneak past Misato, and I think her tomorrow state will make it easy. I’ll be right back then!”

***

Shinji Ikari was lost in his thoughts, his mind keeping him from falling asleep. His favorite redhead was already breathing steadily against his chest, one her arms across his chest and one of her legs thrown over him. She was not joking about her smell: she was sweaty and gave the unmistakable aroma of arousal. She was also absolutely unrepentant about it and when he dared to speak a remark, she made a point of rubbing herself thoroughly against his leg; he could only chuckle and suppress the very obvious connotation, lest their discussion flares up again.

Few of those things were new. Of course, Asuka was clearly pushing further and further, and Shinji was aware that at some point she would want more – but he trusted her to respect his boundaries, especially that they were not exactly firm, and whenever she stepped on them, they managed to come to an agreement.

What was worrying him was the future. Keeping the relationship secret was necessary – but considering Asuka’s behavior – especially her growing protectiveness of him in public – he was in serious doubt how long it would be before the rumors started. Asuka’s plan for dealing with Misato did not seem too perfect, either.

_‘Soon we’ll have to tell her’_, he realized. _‘And that is before she finds it out… perhaps this odd wager… bet… competition… whatever it is they made is not that bad of an idea?’_ he pondered. _‘Or maybe I’m overthinking it, the next Angel kills me, Asuka tears it apart, and goes for a murderous frenzy?’_ he pondered in a bout of dark humor as he reached and tenderly scratched Asuka’s neck; the girl murmured something in her sleep and snuggled close to him. _‘Who knows. How did she say it? “Verweile doch! du bist so schön!”’_, he recalled, a warm smile creeping on his face as he finally found his rest.


	30. Chapter 30

_Tuesday morning_

“Here, Misato”, Shinji addressed his guardian in a soft voice as he set a cup of coffee on the table in front of her. “I added some honey; I heard it helps with your… condition.”

Misato raised her head, opened her eyes, and eyed the cup. “Are you trying to get me fat, so I don’t get my date, so you’re safe from Asuka’s attempts?” she narrowed her eyes at him.

He tilted his head; he was under the impression that even looking up at him caused his guardian some measure of discomfort – so he stepped away, allowing her a more leveled line of sight. “Misato, if I wanted to get you fat, I’d simply start baking things daily”, he gave her an amused glare. “Even if you refused only a **half** of it, you’d be having much more than you do now.”

She took a sip from the cup and let out a sigh. “Thank you”, she smiled before returning to a suspicious expression. “Wait… you have a plant to fatten me up?” she asked, her voice’s incredulity mollified only by her usual morning sleepiness and hangover.

“Asuka once quoted some American guy… ‘Be polite, but have a plan for everyone you met’?” he recalled. “Sounds like words to live by. But don’t worry”, he smiled. “I feel responsible for your health and that’d be a very ugly thing to do to anyone”, he reassured her.

Misato raised an eyebrow. “This quote went a bit different, but I suppose your version is kind of safer. Still, having you think up such a plan is odd”, Misato took another sip before realizing it is not that hot and deciding on a gulp. “You… changed.”

“Did I?” Shinji did his best to look surprised. “I hope it was not for the worse”, he half-stated, half-asked, his voice concerned.

“No, no”, Misato shook her head – and immediately regretted it, as evidenced by her pained expression. “You’re just… well, different”, she tried, uncertain how to phrase her still-incoherent thoughts. “More… certain? Confident?”

Shinji did not have to ponder much on that; but as much as he knew the reasons for that, as much he could not admit to them under the most brutal interrogation. Luckily for him, the morning Misato was anything but brutal – and could be driven off by a louder noise. And the kitchen contained more than enough objects that could produce a loud noise with a plausible justification.

“Perhaps”, he acknowledged evasively. “I don’t feel particularly confident. I suppose one sterner look from my father, and I would start shaking”, he admitted sheepishly.

Misato rolled her eyes. “Shin-chan, this is far too high a bar! Your father can stand his ground to truly scary people and not **blink**”, she protested. “It’s quite possible you’ll learn to do that someday”, she let out a sigh. “But I really hope the world will become safe enough that you won’t have to”, she added in a softer, suddenly breaking voice as she hid behind the cup of coffee.

“Misato?” he probed, taking a step closer after reflexively reducing the flame under the pan.

“I’m sorry”, she looked away from Shinji, letting some hair fall in front of her face. “Don’t mind me, it just me being stupid about–”

She interrupted when she suddenly felt his arms embracing her on the shoulder level; the contact was rather limited, the chair being in the way, but it was enough to make her feel his warmth and, by proxy, his care. “Don’t worry”, he whispered. “I won’t tell anyone”, he tightened his embrace and remained like this for a short moment.

Misato tried to say something – but she just shook her head. Shinji felt her hand reaching for his and squeezing it before she carefully but firmly stood up, downed the coffee in one gulp, and walked back to her room without turning her face to him even for a moment.

Not that he needed to see her to guess why.

***

“Oi, Shinji”, Asuka called out as she entered the room wrapped in two towels. “Where’s our early bird?”

Shinji leaned out and shook his head as he put a finger over his mouth; Asuka replied with a quizzing look.

“She should be out of her room in a moment”, he explained, his expression and tone clearly conveying a ‘don’t ask’ message; Asuka acknowledged with a curt nod. “Coffee?”

“Do you really need to ask?” she scoffed, her smile contrasting the sharp tone.

***

Once Misato emerged a few minutes later, she seemed fine – and after mumbling something that could pass for a greeting, she scurried for the bathroom, only to emerge when the teenagers were ready to depart.

“Misato, do you remember today’s your turn to cook dinner?” Shinji reminded as he packed the bentos.

“How can I forget”, she looked at the calendar that showed a clear note in that regard. “Don’t worry about that. Have a good day at school!”

“Thank you”, he smiled – and furrowed his brows. “Asuka – aren’t we supposed to return the movies today?”

“Yeah, and?” she looked at him in confusion. “I’ve got them right here”, she patted her school bag. “I don’t know about you, but I can pack stuff tightly.”

“Ah. Sorry”, he smiled sheepishly. “See you later, Misato!”

***

“Okay, so what was the deal in the morning?” Asuka probed as they were entering the back alleys on their way to the bus stop. “I thought I heard you talking, and then Misato was nowhere to be seen.”

“We… I think I touched some nerve”, Shinji answered. “I’d rather not go into details. Nothing… concerning either of us, I suppose”, he explained.

Asuka raised her eyebrow. “Okay, I’ll trust you on that… I heard no yelling and you didn’t seem worried or sad, and that’s what I’d be concerned with.”

It was Shinji’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “**That’s** your criteria?”

“Well, situation assessment is important, right?” she chuckled. “As long as you’re fine, I see no reason for yelling at her.”

“Yelling at her while she’s hungover would be cruel”, Shinji remarked. “I’m sure it’s covered by _some_ international convention.”

“None I would be aware of”, Asuka shrugged. “Besides, she brings it upon herself.”

“Not entirely”, he objected. “We… contribute.”

“Just a bit”, Asuka countered. “We _amplify_. A subtle but important distinction.”

“I’m no philosopher, Asuka, remember that”, Shinji stressed. “We can save such talks for bedtime if you wish… but not when I have to have my head clear for the school day.”

Asuka chuckled. “There are better things to do in bed than talk philosophy or discuss ethics.”

“I don’t mind doing either”, Shinji disagreed with a smile. “I mean, holding you close to me and talking to you? Sounds like a quality time for me.”

“Sweet-talker”, she scoffed with a wide smile. “And you’re right, just this is not the first thing I think of when I say ‘a night with Shinji’, okay? Call me a horny wanton, but I **like** the sex”, she admitted with just a hint of a blush.

“I can’t say I don’t”, he agreed, his blush more visible. “I just enjoy… well, everything with you.”

“As long as you don’t extend it to insisting on accompanying my every step, bathroom included, I’ll keep taking it as a compliment”, Asuka chuckled.

Shinji shook his head. “Well, no”, he agreed. “Except… I wouldn’t mind taking a bath with you”, he admitted, his blush increasing.

“Hm”, her eyes narrowed as her smile turned into a smirk. “Hard to do, logistic-wise, but I’ll think of a plan. And now, no matter how I hate to tell you that… you should let go of my hand”, she pointed her head towards the busier street they were approaching.

“Oh. Right.”

***

_Tuesday early afternoon_

“Here, Asuka”, Shinji handed the box to his favorite redhead. “Will you be joining… us?”

“Thanks”, she accepted with a nod. “Sure, if your pervy friends won’t do anything stupid.”

“Oh come on, they’re not **that** bad”, he smiled as he gave her a doubting look. “Let me just give this… and I’ll be right back.”

“Sure”, Asuka rolled her eyes with a minuscule smile. “Remember our arrangement for the afternoon, by the way?”

“Sure, don’t worry about that”, he confirmed. “Pilot business takes precedence”, he smiled.

Asuka had to suppress her bout of laughter. _‘He certainly learned well… does this count as “making a bad boy out of him”?’_ she pondered. _‘Well, even if it does, it’s for the better’_, she concluded and pushed that particular problem out of her mind.

***

_Tuesday afternoon_

“Oh come on, Shin-man!” Touji protested.

“I told you already”, Shinji stood his ground. “Pilot business takes precedence, I made my promises, and I already told you I don’t have time today.”

Touji let out a heavy sigh and gave Shinji an annoyed look. “It’s not that there’s an Angel attack right now, or anything”, he grumbled. “What business can you have?”

Shinji rolled his eyes. “First, luckily for me, not everything I do for NERV is about Angels”, he started. “Second, the fact that you know about this does not mean you can talk about it openly and loudly. They made you sign something, right?”

“Okay, okay”, the boy lowered his voice. “But this is still no excuse to ditch your buddies for some not-so-important reason!”

Shinji let out a sigh. “Kensuke…”

“Yes?” the bespectacled boy reacted immediately.

“Can you explain the concept of combat readiness to Touji?” Shinji requested, his voice betraying slight exasperation.

“I… can try?” he replied.

“Hey, you sound as if I was particularly slow!” Touji protested.

“I tried to do this before, you know, and you weren’t listening”, Kensuke remarked bitterly.

“I don’t remember this happening”, Touji dismissively.

“Because you weren’t listening”, Kensuke repeated. “I’ll try, Shinji.”

“Thank you”, Shinji smiled. “Can you add the concept of team-building exercises to that too?”

“That I get, thank you very much”, Touji gave Shinji an annoyed glare. “Fine, fine. I get it. Just don’t forget about us, Mister Workaholic”, he added. “Come on, Kensuke. We have high scores to beat. Careful you don’t fall behind”, he addressed Shinji as they left.

***

“The gorilla was kind of bitter today”, Asuka spoke up as they were approaching the movie rental; she managed to remain silent until now despite seeing that the confrontation was weighing on her boyfriend’s mind.

“He has every right to”, Shinji shrugged, his voice sad. “I’ve been neglecting them a bit. More than a bit”, he admitted.

“Want me to back off a bit?” Asuka probed.

Shinji stopped in his tracks and took a good look at the redhead’s face; she seemed serious, but the question felt absurd to him. “Asuka?” he probed.

“Well, it started when we… well, got closer, right?” she explained, her expression serious. “Want me to back off a bit so you can mend that one?”

“It’s not that you’re taking my time against my will, or anything”, Shinji objected. “And I prefer your company to theirs, to be honest. Not that they’re… bad, or anything”, he tried to explain. “Just…”

“Plain?” Asuka suggested with a smile in the corner of her mouth.

“Kind of single-minded”, Shinji explained, his expression sheepish. “It’s okay, I can tune out when Kensuke is ranting about warships or Touji’s talking about some basketball camp or championships or his dance classes, but–”

“**Dance** classes?” Asuka tilted her head.

“Oh”, Shinji’s ears went red. “Please keep this to yourself?”

“Don’t worry about that, I will”, she agreed. “But since you babbled this out… I need more information, or I’m launching my own investigation.”

Shinji shrugged, his expression turning sheepish once more. “He thought it’s going to be a good way to impress girls, I suppose”, Shinji explained. “And he’s obviously quite fit and well-coordinated, so he thought it would be easy.”

“And?” Asuka insisted, her eyes curious.

“And he’s still kind of enthusiastic about it, I suppose”, Shinji elaborated. “I wasn’t listening much, to be honest. He said something about… ‘rumba’?”

“Well, that’s a dance, all right”, Asuka nodded. “Interesting. I didn’t realize he could think that far”, she shrugged. “Or enjoy dancing.”

“Asuka… he’s not simple or dumb or anything like that”, Shinji protested.

“He’s just acting it, I get it”, she rolled her eyes. “Sure. Good to know. Any other compromising information about your friends you want to share with me?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Asuka…”

“Yes, yes, I promised I won’t say a word and I keep my word. Come on! If we’re too late, Misato will order without us and we’ll have to bear with some abomination like pizza with anchovies, or worse, nanto for everybody”, she demanded as she turned to head towards the rental.

Shinji shivered and followed her without a word.

***

“Asuka, should we pick something for today?” Shinji probed as Asuka returned the Monty Python Box Set and the clerk was punching the return into the computer.

“M? I wasn’t planning to, but sure?” she titled her head. “Something specific?”

“I thought we could… well, get something Misato would watch with us”, he stated.

Asuka’s brows furrowed. “We can… sure”, she nodded and turned to the woman behind the counter. “We’re going to take a look at the shelves if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead”, the woman smiled her professional smile at them.

***

“Want a ‘date with chaperone’ vibe, darling?” Asuka probed the moment they were between the shelves.

Shinji chuckled. “No, more like ‘bring Misato’s spirits up’”, he admitted. “She’s… well, I’m a bit worried about her.”

“Shinji, no amount of movie exposure is going to help her with the stress she has”, Asuka remarked, half-witty, half-sadly. “But we can try, sure, it’s not that we can do anything with her around”, she shrugged. “Anything on your mind?”

“Not really, I suppose some light classic would be fine?”

“Hmmmm”, Asuka scanned the shelves. “That’s a wide category. Hm”, she stopped in front of ‘Action Movies’ and picked a box with a muscled man about to kick a camera.

“I’m not familiar with that movie”, he remarked.

“That’s the idea, Shinji”, Asuka pointed out. “But you are familiar with the actor?”

“Obviously, even if I cannot pronounce his name if my life depended on it.”

***

“Oh, you’re right on time”, Misato announced. “I was about to make a call”, she waved a pizza parlor flyer. “Any of you want to make an input?”

“Yes!” they exclaimed in unison as they removed their shoes and rushed towards their guardian.

***

“Who in the name of the whole pizza industry makes a _chocolate-topped pizza_?” Asuka’s face expressed absolute incredulity.

“Likely someone realized that Hawaiian pizza was not offensive enough to everyone”, Shinji shrugged.

“Careful, Shin-chan”, Misato’s voice carried a barely concealed warning. “We don’t want to start a civil war in this household.”

“How can a discussion about pizza toppings start a **war**?” the boy tilted his head – only to be met by two very serious and chiding stares from the other occupants of the place. “Never mind”, he backtracked, his eyes returning to the flyer.

The looks and nods exchanged over his head were clear: ‘he’s inexperienced in the Way of the Pizza, he doesn’t get it’ and ‘he’ll come around, let’s educate him’.

Shinji, unaware of the threat looming over him, was making his choices in peace.

***

_Later that evening_

“What are you going to watch?” Misato inquired as Asuka set up the movie.

“Well, I wanted something educational, Shinji wanted to get something light, so we went with–”

“_Last Action Hero_?” Misato approached and glanced at the cover. “You call that ‘light’?”

“Well, it’s not exactly _The Seventh Seal_, is it?” Asuka shrugged. “Want to join us?” her tone suddenly became chirpier.

“As a chaperone?” Misato gave her a half-amused, half-doubting look.

Asuka rolled her eyes. “As a _friend_”, she countered, her voice slightly exasperated. “It’s not a **date**, okay? It’s a pizza-and-movie night.”

“Did you _expect_ me to go with pizza?” Misato raised an eyebrow.

“It was a probable option, but if you’re asking whether it influenced the movie choice, the answer is ‘no’”, Asuka replied. “If you didn’t, it would be a takeout-and-movie night. Just as good, I suppose, just not that themed”, she shrugged again. “And for this case we have popcorn… Shinji, are you writing a paean to my genius and beauty in there? There are two women, waiting impatiently for your appearance!”

“Asuka…” Misato’s palm met her face. “You make it sound dirty.”

“Only in your head, Misato”, the redhead shrugged.

“Packing my bag, give me two more minutes”, a reply came in a raised voice.

“I suppose two minutes would be enough for you under most circumstances”, Asuka shouted back.

“Asuka…” Misato’s voice left no doubt about her opinion of Asuka’s remarks.

“What?” the redhead’s eyes pleaded absolute innocence.

“Never mind”, Misato shook her head. “Just… don’t make this joke to his face.”

_‘…unless you want to earn another five’_, Asuka smiled to herself.

***

_About twenty minutes into the movie_

A doorbell rang – and everyone reacted in their own way: Asuka grabbed the remote and paused the movie, Shinji jumped and his ears immediately went red as he realized what is going on, and Misato simply got up with a smile and went to the door.

A few moments later, all the boxes were on the table – and Shinji’s face expressed serious confusion.

“I know the concept of different toppings on each half, but this is a bit… extreme”, he remarked, eyeing three pizzas in two variants each.

“We held a council and decided you should be exposed to a greater variety”, Asuka informed him. “Don’t worry, the one you wanted is still here…” she paused before her tone changed to clearly disgusted: “and so is the one with anchovies for Misato.”

“Hey! No topping-shaming!” the older woman protested.

“Yes, yes, we all have our tastes”, Asuka shrugged. “Some of us like anchovies, and others like to make people cry.”

Misato shot Asuka a confused glare but got only a shrug in response. Shinji was just glad he was behind Misato at the time – likely a result of intentional timing from Asuka – but he knew he could not let this slide – so he made the hand-against-his-chest-gesture, fingers spread.

Asuka just bit her lip. _‘Oops’_, passed through her head – with the associated glee.

***

_About two hours later_

“Thanks for the invitation, kids”, Misato stretched as the credits started to roll. “That was surprisingly fun”, she smiled.

“I would be surprised if a good movie and a pizza would **not** be fun, Misato”, Asuka remarked. “Sometimes your cooking is not **that** bad”, she quipped.

Misato chuckled. “Thank you very much, oh Gracious One”, she retorted, eliciting an odd twitch on Shinji’s face. “Anyway, I’m going to hit the sack quickly. You might’ve tricked me into having just one beer tonight, but I still need to rest.”

“Yes, yes, we all need our beauty sleep”, Asuka waved her hand. “Sorry, Shinji, you’re the last in the queue, I’m afraid.”

“No problem, Asuka”, Shinji smiled his usual small smile. “I’ll be the first in the morning, anyway.”

“You’re the only one with determination to get up that early”, she scoffed in response.

“More like ‘determination not to be late’”, he corrected. “If I waited for you to get done before getting in, we’d **all** be late at all times.”

“Oh come on–”

“Okay, hash it out but without me”, Misato interrupted as she stood up and collected the empty pizza boxes and the can. “Just don’t get too loud, and remember, no physical violence!”

“Can there be physical violence if there are no marks left?” Asuka inquired innocuously, forcing Shinji into a coughing attack to hide his bout of laughter.

“Yes, Asuka, and you know that well”, Misato replied from the kitchen as she stacked the boxes next to the trash can. “Please play nice with him!”

“All right, all right”, the redhead sulked. “I’ll be a good girl, I promise. Within reason.”

“That’s all I ask”, Misato reassured her. “Shin-chan, do you need help?” she turned to the boy who seemed to be choking on something.

A raised thumb was the only answer; as Shinji was lying on the couch, she missed his other hand against his chest, fingers spread.

_‘Am I overdoing it?’_ Asuka wondered for a moment. _‘Nah. I’m just making sure we have enough to do after this funny business with Unit-03 is done’_, she decided as she acknowledged the gesture with a grin.

***

_Later that night_

Shinji made sure to make as little noise as possible; still, the experience of sneaking around with Misato on definitely too shallow waters was making him nervous. But the alternative was a night without Asuka and – which was even worse – depriving her of company.

So he just used the time their guardian was in the bathroom to make sure none of the doors were making any sounds – and bid his time.

“That was brutal, Shinji-dear”, Asuka addressed him in a hushed voice when he finally snuck into her room. “Not _unjustified_, but **ten**?” she raised an eyebrow from above the book she was reading, her back against the pillows stacked on the bed’s headrest.

“You earned it, fair and square, darling”, he retorted. “I think you reached the highest score yet… seventy-five if I count right.”

“You are, or at least we’re making the same mistake”, she confirmed. “What will we do with that?” she asked as she put the book down on the nightstand and moved to give him a spot to sit on.

“Well, I will apply it in the right installments and with appropriate diligence, and you will take it in the right position and with the appropriate dignity”, Shinji replied, his face serious.

“Sounds fair”, she grinned. “Come”, she started to return the pillows to their proper positions. “We might not be able to do much today, but it doesn’t mean I’m passing on snuggles.”

“By all means, Asuka”, he smiled and paused. “How do you want me?” he asked.

“As ‘holding me by the hair and forcing my head all the way down’ is out of the question today–”

“Asuka!” he managed to exclaim in a whisper, his face red – and his briefs suddenly bulging.

“What? It’s a valid option, just not for today”, she smirked, eyeing his sudden erection. “As I was saying, as this is not the option for today…” she trailed off. “Today, I want you without your shirt, as the little spoon”, the smirk turned into a warm, wide smile. “You can keep the bottom if you want to, but you can”, she pulled the nightgown off her body and threw it somewhere in the corner, revealing she once more wore nothing else “match me with that as well.”

Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he was blushing, but he was also smiling.

“You’re not stopping on your crusade to convince me to sleep nude all the time, are you?” he asked as he pulled the shirt off and carefully put it aside next to the bed.

“Guilty as charged”, she admitted. “What is my sentence?”

“I suppose some berating when you’re over my knee next time… and having to bear with my nudity once you succeed but I fail to become attractive”, he chuckled.

“‘Become’ my ass”, Asuka retorted. “Oh, I’m sure you’re going to get even better, but I like what I see right now.”

“Thank you”, Shinji’s voice seemed surprised.

“Just the truth”, she wiggled her eyebrows. “Can I convince you to remove those”, she ran her finger along the hem of his only remaining garment, “as well?”

“It’s hard to bargain when I can order you to do things, right?” he remarked.

“Well, yes”, she chuckled. “But…” she trailed off before switching her expression from ‘entertained and cheeky’ to ‘pleading’ and rolling to her stomach without breaking the eye contact. “Please, sir?” she requested in a begging voice, her hands put together under her chin. “Will you undress for me?”

Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath, perfectly aware of his reaction to her words and her tone – and the visibility of this reaction. What Asuka could not see, though, was the fact that he could simply not resist such a plea. _‘Words have power, indeed’_, he realized. _‘But this does not mean she gets it freely…’_ he smirked.

“No, Miss Langley”, he replied as he opened his eyes; an immediate look of surprise and disappointment flashed through her face; if not for this being part of his plan, he would have already felt bad for doing this to her. “I will not undress for you… but you will undress me”, he declared, eliciting a look of happy realization. “You will undress me, and then you will lie behind me, embrace me, and go to sleep as a good girl should.”

“It’s like making me unwrap a lollipop and not letting me lick it!” she protested sulkily. “Sir”, she added after a moment.

“Perhaps”, Shinji smiled a wry smile. “But this is how it is going to be tonight.”

“One lick? Please?” Asuka’s voice remained pleading.

Shinji took another deep breath. This was going a bit too far; it was obvious to him – and should be obvious to Asuka, too – that having any kind of sex right now was incredibly risky, and judging from their previous encounters, the situation could easily escalate. In a way, it already did – Shinji realized that he missed the moment when they slid into a proper scene, and the mood was right for both of them. He was sorely tempted to let her have the ‘one lick’, which would surely get very long and intense, forcing him to try to be silent, and possibly failing–

“Blau.”

Asuka’s face changed immediately: her brows furrowed and her eyes became attentive. Shinji’s face became pained; _‘I messed up the mood, didn’t I?’_ he realized. _‘There surely had to be a different way to–’_

“Shinji?” Asuka inquired. “Talk to me”, she demanded as she maneuvered quickly to sit on the bed, facing him – but doing nothing to hide her nudity, as part of Shinji’s mind noticed dryly.

Shinji took yet another deep breath. “I’ll get rid of the briefs, Asuka, but let’s… not go further, okay?” he requested. “Not with Misato… on the shallows.”

“But you started–” she protested in an annoyed voice before catching herself. “Oh. Right. Not exactly”, she closed her eyes and seemed to ponder something for a moment. “Okay”, she finally nodded carefully and looked at him again. “I hate to be reasonable”, she sulked.

“So do I, darling”, he replied, his expression apologetic. “But continuing right now would mean that I was a total hypocrite when I gave you ten for a security breach.”

“Well, yes”, she agreed. “Okay”, the cheekiness returned along with a smile. “Off with the briefs then, and straight into my arms”, she winked.

“With pleasure, darling”, he bowed his head and obliged her with a smile, settling into the position rarely exercised, but always enjoyed. The sensations of Asuka’s warm body against his own, her breasts pressed against his back, her hand wrapped around his chest, and her legs intertwining with his were a little bit unfamiliar, but to call it ‘pleasant’ would be a huge understatement. He let out a contented sigh and smiled a warm smile as he adjusted his position for maximum possible contact – and his smile widened as Asuka responded with a stronger grasp.

Unusual as it was, it felt warm; it felt safe; it felt _right_.

***

_‘I wasn’t aware how much I missed this’_, Asuka mused as she settled behind her boyfriend and entangled her limbs around him. _‘He’s not exactly a teddy bear, but he definitely feels very appropriate-sized to wrap around’_, she realized with amusement._ ‘And to think I preferred to use him as a punching bag at worst and a lowly servant at best… God, I’m glad I handed him that belt back then. Would this even be possible without the beatings?’_ she pondered, ignoring the fact that the associated images were making her a little bit more aroused without a perspective of a release in the nearest future; she knew she could handle that. _‘I suppose not. And I thought I didn’t need people, any people, at all… and now I’m madly in love with him. No, more than that… I might even actually **love** him. And if I’m not mistaken and imagining things, he loves me…’_

She let out a contented sigh as her boyfriend moved in her arms; the skin-to-skin contact felt wonderful, despite being applied somewhat differently than she was used to. _‘Mine’, _she tightened her embrace. _‘I should do that to him more often’_, she smirked.

It just felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. I never thought this would reach thirty chapters with at least five more to go – twenty was a rough estimate – but the facts speak for themselves. I’m glad you all still bear with the slower narration – and I promise we’re slowly heading to some resolution. Just not in the next chapter.
> 
> I want to thank everyone that stuck with the story for the last year (I missed the fact that the last update was just after the anniversary of the story’s start – 2020-01-05) as well, including of course those that joined along the way; it’s been a bit rough, but having a receptive audience lifted my spirits immensely. Thank you for reading, thank you for the kudos, and thank you for all the comments. No, this is not a goodbye, worry not – I just wanted to express my gratitude at this milestone. Thank you.
> 
> And now for lighter things…
> 
> **Regarding the movie:** I’m aware that with two previous examples, some of you might have expected a reaction sequence – and I was considering it before realizing that it would be essentially a filler that brought literally nothing to the story; Monty Python and the Holy Grail bordered on it already, so I decided against it. This is just not this kind of story.
> 
> **Regarding the “be polite but have a plan” quote:** I’m well aware it is from 2006, making it an anachronism here, but considering that the man who spoke it could very well be active in post-Impact world and hold the same sentiments, I decided to include it.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2021-01-28 and may contain stupid jokes. And some fanservice.


	31. Chapter 31

_Wednesday morning_

“Bentos?” Asuka inquired.

“Check. Movie to return?” Shinji countered.

“Check. Book you promised to Ayanami?” Asuka continued.

“Check. Common sense?” Shinji quipped.

“Absent as ever. Are we good?” she checked.

“We are”, he confirmed. “Let’s go.”

Misato eyed the two teenagers with a mix of confusion and appreciation – and a deep feeling of satisfaction that her parenting approach finally started to bear fruit.

***

_Wednesday afternoon_

“So, anything smiling to you from this shelf?” Asuka raised an eyebrow as she indicated the “Action Movies” section.

“Not immediately”, Shinji replied after a moment of browsing. “Didn’t you want to move my education to a higher level?”

“Yes, but perhaps not immediately with _Metropolis_ or _Citizen Kane_”, Asuka retorted. “It’s supposed to be fun, too… hm”, she pondered for a moment. “That will do good.”

“_Batman Returns_?” Shinji blinked. “Definitely not a higher level”, he agreed.

“Oh, wait until you hear me explain German Expressionism based on this”, Asuka grinned.

“Is there anything you _don’t_ know?” he chuckled. “Sometimes I feel like a simpleton listening to you.”

“Hardly”, she chuckled. “I just read a lot in school, and that college did not go to waste, contrary to what some would say. I couldn’t exactly party, drink, and screw around, right?”

“Well, you could’ve… studied?” he remarked.

“No shit, Sherlock”, she giggled. “And I did. But come on, it was a Master’s, not a Ph.D. So I had time left to read… and I did. Also, there were some really fun lectures to attend in my spare time, rare as it was. So… the lack of friends and being the odd one out made me what I am – a genius that can impress you with stuff!” she struck a pose, eliciting a small laugh from Shinji. “So, do I have your approval on the movie?”

“It’s not something you need to _ask_ of me, you know?” he replied, his voice slightly confused.

“It is if you’re going to enjoy it too”, she countered. “Once I know – or shape, I suppose – your taste better, I’ll be able to choose without asking, and once you know me better, you’ll be able to pick them yourself. But until then…”

“_Batman_ it is, then, darling”, he smiled. “Anything for tomorrow?”

“Nah”, she decided. “We don’t even know if we watch this today or tomorrow, right? And I like taking those walks with you. Looks… natural.”

“And the numerous side alleys are a bonus?” he smirked.

“You got it”, she grinned. “Let’s go. I’m getting hungry.”

“As you wish”, he bowed.

“We’ll get to that, too”, she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Uh?” he tilted his head, his expression confused.

“You’ll see.”

***

“We’re home!”

“Oh hi, guys!” Misato greeted them in an artificially chirpy voice. “I’m going to need your help”, she grinned at them.

“Are you attempting a coup and want some advice?” Asuka asked innocuously.

Misato raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you have experience in that?”

“I helped removed a stupid group senior in college, does it count?” the redhead continued as she removed her shoes, ignoring the fact that her boyfriend was trying to do the same in the same confined space.

“I suppose. But no, that’s not it”, Misato continued. “I need some advice on a dress!” she announced.

Asuka rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. “Let me guess, Miss Shit-Eating-Grin, you’ve got a date… so I need to get myself a date as well?”

Misato matched her expression with the description Asuka just gave. “Yes, indeed. Your move.”

Asuka took a deep breath and turned to Shinji who just managed to regain his balance. “Shinji”, she started in a solemn voice.

“Yes?” he blinked in surprise. “What is it?”

“I need your help on a matter of honor”, she continued, her tone unchanged.

“Ah. Her Graciousness honors me with her request”, he did his best to match the tone. “How can I serve Her Graciousness?”

“Her Graciousness just lost a bet of sorts and needs to take you out on a proper date. Is Sunday okay?” she asked, still managing to maintain a serious expression.

Shinji suppressed a giggle and pretended to ponder. “If you mean this Sunday… I think I’m available”, he declared, still managing – if barely – the proper tone. “Should this be the classic lunch and a movie?” he suggested.

“Her Graciousness would prefer a movie first”, she countered. “So, movie and dinner. Would you fancy a burger?”

“I think I can bear one”, he nodded. “Does this mean I get to pick a movie?”

“Yes, but Her Graciousness stipulates her right to a veto power if you choose something stupid or heavily unfitting her tastes.”

“Deal”, he extended a hand to her.

“Great”, she shook the extended hand. “Done”, she turned to Misato – and grinned as she witnessed their guardian’s jaw dropping along with an incredulous glare.

“Okay, that’s cheating”, Misato shook her head. “Did you rehearse this just to annoy me?”

The teenagers looked at each other. “Rehearse? No”, Asuka shook her head in turn. “But let’s face it, you are a smart and willful woman, so it was obvious you’re going to get yourself a date”, she shrugged. “So, I warned him that there’s a risk I’ll ask him out. You know, so he wouldn’t get **too** embarrassed. The rest is… well, my wit and his wit, matching in a battle of wits. Letting him argue and discuss things instead of getting punched seems to sharpen his”, she added.

“Her Graciousness was… gracious”, Shinji helpfully chimed in as he put his school bag in his room. “But if this sweetens the mood, Misato, I’m still nervous about that.”

Misato let out a sigh. “It was not about… never mind”, she rolled her eyes. “As you took all the fun of poking at you both out of it, I expect you – both of you! – to at least give me some serious advice.”

“Haul them out”, Asuka shrugged, her grin reduced to a surprisingly warm smile. “I’ll go change and we can talk about your lack of taste.”

“Asuka…” Shinji did his best to suppress a chuckle and sound chastising.

“What?” Asuka shrugged. “If she had a sense of taste, she would not be asking **us**!”

***

“No contest”, Asuka pointed at one of three dresses Misato brought out. “You cannot go wrong with black… add a push-up and your date will need loose pants or a cup with a lot of ice.”

“Asuka!” Misato tried to sound stern; this did not work that well. “That was inappropriate for your age!”

“And whom am I going to deprave?” she shrugged. “Shinji? Come on, most guys his age are pervy already. The fact that he’s not grasping and groping only speaks good about his manners and willpower, but I **bet** he had undressed me a hundred times in his head”, she stated in a perfectly unconcerned voice. “You too, I suppose.”

Misato’s palm met her face as she let out an exasperated sigh. Shinji’s face, in contrast, went red – but it did not stop him from putting his hand on his chest, fingers spread. Asuka shot Misato a quick look, confirmed her eyes were closed – and stuck her tongue out at him, her eyes amused.

_‘Let’s hope he didn’t mean “five on my feet”…’_ she pondered. _‘Hm, we **might** need a separate signal for that so I can squirm more’_, she realized. _‘Fuck. I’m enjoying this far, far too much, don’t I?’_ she started to wonder – and stopped immediately as she realized he was smiling back at her. _‘Two most important people in the world are in good mood, all is right with the world’_, she concluded.

“Okay, as we’re done here – both with choices, as I agree with Asuka, and with embarrassing me, can we move to things important?” Shinji raised his hand. “I need help with chopping if this dinner is going to be done in some acceptable timeframe.”

“One knife-wielding maniac, reporting in”, Asuka replied immediately with glee. “And you, Misato, keep preparing for the battle… by the way, when is it?”

“Tomorrow night”, Misato replied. “So don’t count me for the dinner, Shin-chan”, she added.

“Are you sure?” Shinji probed. “Don’t you want to eat something beforehand?”

“Don’t worry”, Misato reassured him. “It’s not the first dinner date I’m going for. I’m not like those girls that order ‘just a salad’ and then either go hungry and annoyed or start nibbling on your food. And I’m enough of a veteran drinker to know not to drink on an empty stomach.”

“Are you suggesting something, Misato?” Asuka asked with a chopping knife in her hand, her tone carrying a note of aggression, her eyebrows raised in questioning expression.

“No, I’ve seen **your** appetite”, the older woman retorted. “Be glad for that metabolism of yours”, she jabbed and grabbed all the dresses. “Thank you for your insights.”

***

With the dinner quickly prepared, eaten just as quickly, and the homework out of the way – once more in the open, with only a few questions and answers exchanged, Asuka closed her notebooks and books, stretched, and yawned. “So, will you be joining us to tonight’s cultural education, Misato?”

“You mean your ‘practice date’?” their guardian raised an eyebrow from above the paper she was reading. “What’s on the roll?”

Asuka gave her a questioning look. “No food, no date. And popcorn doesn’t count”, she retorted. “_Batman Returns_”, she answered the question.

Misato pondered for a moment before shaking her head. “Pass. Not my favorite kind of movie. Bring some Bond movies, then I’ll be surely joining you.”

“Sure”, Asuka nodded ponderously. “I suppose we’ll start with _Casino Royale_ – assuming I can find it anywhere.”

“That was never made to film, Asuka”, Misato remarked.

“Want to bet on it?” the redhead raised an eyebrow.

“If you are going to involve me in your stakes again this time, I get to veto it”, Shinji immediately raised his hands and stipulated in a tired voice.

“No, I think it won’t be necessary”, Asuka smirked. “The loser acts as a proper _Yamato Nadeshiko_ for a day, on her earliest day off?” she extended her hand.

Misato’s eyes narrowed. “Deal”, she shook the redhead’s hand.

Shinji let out a sigh. This habit was slowly but surely escalating – and while he could try to reason with Asuka over that, negotiating with Misato was going to be harder.

“So, enjoy your movie date”, Misato smiled as she stood up. “I’m going to take a nice, long bath.”

“Enjoy”, Shinji smiled back. “So, Asuka… shall we?” he eyed the closed-but-still scattered school paraphernalia.

“Yeah, and then it’s Tim Burton time”, she nodded.

***

“That… underhanded…” Asuka’s expression was a very odd and mutating mix of amusement, astonishment, annoyance, and abashment.

“Asuka?” Shinji looked at his girlfriend from across the room. “Something’s wrong with the movie?” he asked as he approached her. “Did we get some random comedy instead?”

“No, not at all”, Asuka shook her head, hiding her now-red ears under her loose hair – and handed him a small, glossy card. “Not with the movie.”

Shinji needed just one look for his ears to turn red as well. The card was in the size of the usual visiting card but was about a place instead of a person. It contained an address with a small sketch of neighboring streets, a phone number, and a name: “Happy Tanuki Palace”. The hearts-and-pink-ivy-laden frame – with an occasional properly-endowed picture of a tanuki woven into it – left no doubt on what the place was.

“Oh.”

“She’s been listening to us talking”, Asuka realized. “There’s no other explanation.”

“Well, it’s one of the ways to keep business going…” Shinji remarked, his face red. “And I suppose she wanted to help… in an appropriately discreet way.”

“Is that even **legal**?” Asuka wondered loudly. “We’re not exactly adults – oh, wait”, she blushed a minor blush as she realized something.

“Let me guess, you registered as eighteen to skip over the age limits, and nobody questioned it?” Shinji gave the redhead a doubting look.

“Of course I did”, she shrugged. “Wouldn’t you if you could?”

“Not really?” he replied. “Besides, how did you do this?”

“You can ask this question again and I will answer it then”, a smile crept on Asuka’s face. “But then you’d be complicit in something that is at least a misdemeanor. So… your call.”

“You have some false ID, don’t you?” he smirked.

“See above”, she chuckled. “So?”

“No thank you, I don’t want to go gray prematurely”, he shook his head. “And I trust you not to abuse it. What do we do with… this?” he gestured with the card.

“I’ll keep it just in case”, Asuka picked the incriminating object from Shinji’s hand. “Not that we can dispose of it safely… and Misato won’t think of looking in my room.”

“She’s not looking in mine, either”, Shinji remarked. “She’s rather respectful of our privacy, you know?”

“Fair point”, Asuka conceded. “Even if I think it comes more from her laziness than actual respect”, she shrugged. “Still, it will look less weird if it got discovered with me… and I can stand up to interrogation better than you. But first…” she pocketed the card and opened the box containing the movie, giving it a thorough search.

“You think there might be more?” Shinji gave her a quizzing look.

“You never know. None I see, though”, she decided. “Okay, ready. The question is, do we watch it today or leave it for tomorrow?”

“I suppose we’ll have… _better_ things to do tomorrow”, Shinji quipped, lowering his voice to almost a whisper, not trusting the audio isolation from the bathroom with such a sensitive concept. “And we can always go pick something up after school, right? If we dare to look that woman in the eye again after… this”, he gestured vaguely.

“Oh, I am going to look her in the eye”, Asuka grinned. “And we’ll see who will sweat. Or smile. Shinji”, she let out a sigh as she noticed his expression indicating an upcoming protest, “avoiding confrontation might be a Japanese thing to do, but at such times, I prefer to act German.”

“And what is a German thing to do in such case?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Be firm and unashamed”, Asuka explained. “Okay, maybe not specifically ‘German’, but more ‘European’ or even just ‘Western’ thing to do. You know”, she switched to English, “‘_we don’t have_ _the_ _walk of shame, we have the stride of pride’ _kind of thing?”

Shinji laughed. “This… may raise questions”, he remarked.

“F-I don’t care”, she shrugged. “It was her fault, and she will suffer for that. But that’s for later”, she declared dismissively. “How’s the popcorn?”

“Ready to start. Shall I?”

“Yes please”, she confirmed. “Let’s start this.”

***

“Training your liver before tomorrow, Misato?” Asuka remarked as they paused the movie to refill the bowl of popcorn – and noticed two empty cans in front of their guardian with the third one in progress.

“Hardly necessary, Asuka”, the Colonel scoffed. “Amplifying the relaxation effect, if anything. I deserved at least that, after all we’ve been through. And I’m going to sleep soon, so I’d appreciate it if you kept the volume low.”

“Don’t worry Misato, we know the drill”, Shinji chimed in. “Need something else before you go to sleep?”

“Not before… but I call upon you to be the arbiter”, Misato smirked. “If you could go to the library tomorrow and check the Bond filmography, so I can have a good laugh on Sunday?”

“Um…” he tilted his head. “I suppose? Why on… oh”, the realization settled in. “I didn’t think of that.”

“And the better part of it is that it was Asuka’s idea”, Misato grinned.

“And I am going to tremendously enjoy you acting prim and proper”, the redhead mirrored the grin. “Pity I won’t get a _whole_ day of that as I’ll be on a date for the part of the day… but I’ll enjoy what I can.”

“Or you’ll have to act like a perfect Japanese lady on your first date with Shinji”, Misato countered. “I might not get to see _that_, but I’m sure he will be happy with that arrangement.”

Shinji let out a heavy sigh. “Can we not count the chickens before they’re hatched?” he requested. “I’ll try to take a look tomorrow.”

“Thank you”, Misato replied as she downed the third beer, compressed all three cans one after another, and put them in the can bag. “And now, if you excuse me, I need my beauty sleep before tomorrow.”

***

“Impressions?” Asuka checked as the credits started to roll.

“Weird, for sure. Engaging, definitely. Rather dark, in general”, Shinji listed.

“That’s Tim Burton for you, especially when he goes for to pay homage to German Expressionism”, Asuka remarked before lowering her voice. “Go check on Misato, I’ll wrap things up here.”

“As you wish”, he smiled.

***

_Later that night_

“Asuka…” Shinji probed between moves of the brush.

“Mm?” she acknowledged.

“Why the sudden competition with Misato?” he asked.

“No reason. Impulse”, Asuka shrugged. “Maybe a bit of a smokescreen”, she admitted. “And it’s better than open fighting, right? And, helpful and maternal as she is sometimes, she tends to annoy me.”

“Fair enough”, he agreed and continued the brushing.

“And it gives you opportunities to exercise your hand gestures”, she quipped after a short moment.

“Asuka…” he chuckled with mild exasperation. “Are you aiming for a hundred on count?”

“Nah”, she smiled. “Eighty is fine for now, **maybe** I’ll reach ninety for an even count on installments… but come on, don’t tell me you’re not looking forward to reducing the count?” her tone gained a seductive note.

“As much as you do, I think. If for different reasons”, he admitted with a smile. “Done”, he put the brush down. “Anything else you need me to take care of?”

Asuka giggled. “This is the most dangerous question you could’ve asked”, she remarked.

“Not according to various ‘relationship advice’ sites”, he retorted.

“God, don’t tell me you read those?” Asuka turned to face him, her face in a mock scare. “Those can land you in a hospital if you follow them, especially the ‘spice up things in bed’ sections.”

“Didn’t read any of those, school filter cuts them out”, Shinji replied. “No, I was just curious”, he admitted. “Most are useless, anyway, we’re hardly a target group, right? Our relationship is… not exactly fitting a mold.”

“Oh, no doubt”, she smirked. “I don’t like to fit molds. They’re uncomfortable. So… what was the most dangerous question?”

“I believe ‘isn’t this dress a little too tight for you?’ and closely related ‘should we think of a diet?’”, he explained with an amused expression.

Asuka’s giggling quickly made her bite down on her forearm; it took her a moment to calm down. “Well, I can imagine what it can do to a person. No, those questions are not as _dangerous_ as they are _insensitive_ and kind of _stupid_. Sure, try something like that on Misato and she’ll be Lady Wolverine in a second. But hey, there were periods in history where the chubby was beautiful!” she countered. “And there are still cultures where this applies! Oh well. Anyway, back to – the danger!” she turned her attention to Shinji, her expression dramatic. “You sure you want to ask **that** question?”

“The only danger I see, darling, is the fact that you cannot keep quiet enough for us to go through with what you imply”, Shinji winked. “And Misato is just three unfixed beers under.”

“Yeah, I know”, Asuka sulked. “I wasn’t paying attention and she clearly didn’t want to interrupt us. Oh well – tomorrow’s Christmas”, her sulky expression turned into a grin.

“Only if we plan it right”, Shinji remarked. “I did promise her to go to the library, remember?”

“Come on, this will be a breeze with me helping you”, Asuka shrugged. “Half an hour most, and we wouldn’t be able to do anything until she left, anyway. So… little impact”, she shrugged. “It’s up to you whether you want to return as soon as possible and announce her loss before the date, or let her know the next morning.”

“Let’s not be **so** cruel”, Shinji decided. “Tomorrow. I mean, next morning. It can also be that you’re wrong.”

“Banish the thought”, Asuka chuckled. “Playing a proper lady for Misato would be too much”, she scoffed. “But if you want to have a perfect lady on a date… or just here…” she trailed off with a smirk.

“…I just need to ask?” he smirked back.

“Not exactly, Shinji-dear”, Asuka’s smirk turned into a crooked smile.

“I just need to tell you to _behave_ and convince you to do so if you… object?” he corrected himself.

“Indeed”, she confirmed, her smile widening. “I suppose I should do some research on the details.”

“Asuka…” Shinji’s smirk changed to a warm, if a bit exasperated, smile. “Do you think this is something either of us would really enjoy?”

“You never know before you try”, she stated with a shrug. “I’m willing to try”, she wiggled her eyebrows.

“I just… can’t picture you like that. I mean… I try, and it just doesn’t click”, he elaborated. “It’s… not you. I mean… when I try to see you as the lady of the house, I see a Viking woman with an ax in hand, explaining some trespasser the error of entering her home”, he chuckled. “Blood-spattered Viking woman, to boot.”

Asuka giggled. “I like that image”, she admitted. “But… trying is on the table, okay? Under some more peaceful circumstances, with our dearest guardian somewhere away… You can call it unhealthy curiosity if you want to, but… why not?”

“Whatever makes you happy”, Shinji’s smile returned.

“Okay, **that** is a dangerous statement if I ever heard one”, she remarked, turning serious again. “Be careful what you say, Shinji-dear. I may take it seriously.”

“It’s not the first time I said it, darling”, his smile remained unwavering. “And I mean it.”

She took a deep breath. “I’ll keep you to your word… and remember, I want to make you happy, too. So, if it doesn’t work, I expect you to call me out on it.”

“Asuka?” he tilted his head.

“Can I count on that?” she pressed.

“Yes?” he confirmed, his voice confused.

“Thank you”, she nodded solemnly. “And now, if you’re not going to rub me until I collapse from ecstasy, I suggest we do the fourth-best thing and snuggle to sleep”, she suggested.

“And what are the second-best and third-best?” he asked, aware of how that unabashed statement of Asuka make him blush.

“Well, me giving you an orgasm while listening to the sounds you make… and you turning my bottom red and me into a helpless-but-well-cared-for mess”, she grinned, her face blushing just a bit. “The order of those three, my orgasms included, is a matter of debate, but those are definitely the top three. I suppose ‘talking to you in bed’ is also there somewhere, but let’s not overcomplicate things, shall we?”

Shinji chuckled as he shook his head. “Asuka… if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re drunk.”

“**I am** drunk, Shinji-dear”, she explained. “It’s called _high on serotonin and dopamine_”, she spoke the word in English, “and they still haven’t dropped by much since we… well, got together.”

“So… you’re saying I’m addictive?” he quipped.

“You, your voice, your hands, things you do to me… yes”, she admitted, unabashed. “And if you ever apologize for that, I’m going to whack you over your head”, she threatened.

“And present your bottom for immediate punishment?” he probed.

“Immediately and without a single question, darling”, she replied with a wide smile.

“Good girl”, he reached and touched her face.

“It’s good you’re doing the laundry”, she sighed, her eyes closed. “Because if you do one more such thing, I’m going to melt here”, she warned.

“And we can’t have that, as we need you whole and healthy?” he retorted.

“Exactly. So… bedtime?” she suggested, her eyes reopening and a smile reappearing.

“Bedtime. Who’s the big spoon today?”

“Nobody”, she wiggled her eyebrows. “On your back, darling, I want a Shinji-made chest pillow.”

“As you wish”, he smiled as he pulled his shirt off. Asuka raised her eyebrows – and matched him in one move, demonstrating how ahead of him in the game she was already.

“Do you _ever_ wear panties at bedtime nowadays, darling?” Shinji asked with mild exasperation in his tone as he settled on the bed.

“Not anymore”, she replied. “And… want to know a secret?” she smirked.

“Gladly”, he gave her a confused look.

She leaned in as she snuggled to his side, her lips nearing his ear. “When I’m wearing a dress at home, I’m usually without them, too”, she whispered.

“Oh”, his face went to a full blush within half a second.

“Now you know”, Asuka grinned unrepentantly.

“It will make me think a lot whenever I see you in a dress”, he admitted.

“Well, I sure hope so”, the grin remained on her face. “To put your mind at ease, I do wear my underwear to school, it’s too risky not to. But elsewhere… you’re free to check, assuming you keep it discreet.”

“Gods, Asuka… I thought you wanted to go to sleep”, he pointed out.

Asuka eyed his clearly bulging briefs. “Want me to set you free?” she quipped.

Shinji took a deep breath. “Yes, please… but just that, okay?”

“Your wish is my command”, she winked as she slowly pulled the briefs down, allowing his erection to spring out. For a brief moment, she was sorely tempted to give it a lick or at least a rub – but his words were clear, and she was not in a mood to be particularly contrary. And thus, she just snuggled back to his side and pulled the covers over them.

“Goodnight, Shinji-dear”, she purred into his ear.

“Goodnight, darling”, he pulled her closer as he embraced her.

_‘Gods, this is… insane’_, Shinji’s thoughts flew, trying to make sense of what was happening. _‘But… it’s fine, too’_, he realized. _‘It’s just her. And…’_

He took a deep breath, accepting the indisputable and irrefutable fact that he had been running away from for a while.

_‘And I love her.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is planned for 2021-02-06. Not sure about the contents, though.


	32. Chapter 32

_Thursday morning_

“Bentos?” Asuka checked.

“Check. Movie to return?” Shinji continued.

“Check. Public library address?” Asuka reminded.

“Check. Your camera?” Shinji verified.

“Check. Anti-spirit spray?” Asuka quipped.

“Check. Are we good?” he raised.

“We are”, she confirmed. “Let’s go.”

“Guys?” Misato shook her head in disbelief. “Anti-spirit spray?”

“Yeah, didn’t hear the rumors?” Asuka raised an eyebrow and gave her a questioning glare. “Someone saw The Railway Woman on the North Gate station a few days ago.”

“Asuka… Tokyo-3 has _monorails_”, Misato stared at her from above her coffee cup with tired eyes. “Exclusively, when it comes to trains. A monorail cannot cut you like she is usually described.”

“Oh come on”, Asuka assumed a serious face. “What if she migrated to the city in the search for the new hunting grounds? Everything is possible with a vengeful spirit!”

“Asuka, we’re going to be late for the bus”, Shinji chimed in. “Can we… not?”

“Fine, fine”, Asuka agreed and picked her bag up. “It’d be Misato’s fault, she is questioning our diligence and safety measures!”

“Rather your sense of humor”, their guardian retorted. “See you later!”

***

The class was, as it was common at this time of the day, rowdy in a subdued, morning manner; people were exchanging gossip, exchanging things, and making arrangements for lunch. The arrival of the two more teenagers drew little attention, except Hikari I Do Not Know What To Think Of You Anymore Horaki who quickly turned her head away as she noticed Asuka’s entry.

For a moment, Asuka had an impulse to go to talk to her, perhaps even apologize; it was quickly squashed. _‘I did nothing wrong. It’s her who is suffering from a serious Stick In The Mud Syndrome’_, she decided as she opened her bag.

A few moments later, she was distracted by the door opening for the teacher’s arrival – and routinely rose to fulfill the usual “Stand! Bow! Sit!” routine ordered by the girl in question. But this time, something else drew her attention – and the attention of virtually everyone else in the class.

“Good morning, class”, the teacher started. “This is your new classmate, Mari Makinami… Illustrious”, he indicated the tall brown-haired-and-pigtailed girl. “She had just been transferred to our school and will be joining us. Horaki-san, please include her in the duty rosters. Everyone, please be nice to her. Makinami-san, please say a few words about yourself.”

_‘Fuck’_, Asuka pierced the girl with a glare as she said her greetings and the usual platitudes about hoping to be able to be friends with everyone. _‘Yeah, sure, especially with the girl who put you in cuffs…’_ Asuka’s expression looked as if she was just force-fed lemons by someone who was not Shinji.

“And I’m sure I’ll get along the best with people I share common interests with”, the girl grinned. “It’s nice to see you again, Shikinami-san!”

_‘Fuck.’_

***

_Thursday afternoon_

“Just _fucking_ wonderful”, Asuka kicked a can as they walked a side alley. “And I was hoping for a nice day as an introduction to even better an evening…” she grumbled, her expression annoyed.

Shinji could not help but notice the fact that Asuka had been cursing like a sailor since they left school, but he let slip. For once, he conceded that she had every right to – and every reason to.

Especially that the reason had a name.

***

_Earlier that day_

Mari Makinami Illustrious could be called many adjectives and descriptions – and primarily, at least from Asuka’s standpoint, it would be ‘horribly annoying’, ‘bloody annoying’, and ‘sickeningly annoying’ – but ‘shy’ or ‘reserved’ was she not.

“Can I join you?” Mari chirped from above Asuka a few seconds after the signal for the lunch break sounded.

“Not without me having a bodyguard, ensuring a chaperone, and contacting a lawyer”, Asuka retorted as she eyed the brown-haired girl. “What do you want?” she finally settled her gaze on the girl’s face and tried her best to give her a disdainful look; the final effect was more like ‘tired’, but Asuka deemed it good enough for now.

“To be friends?” Mari tilted her head. “We’re both pilots”, she stated matter-of-factly, clearly treating this as a reason enough.

_‘Fuck. That means getting her off my back with “pilot business” is doomed, because she is … wait’_, Asuka realized_. ‘I wasn’t **told** about her status, so **technically** she’s a stranger at best, a spy at worst…’_

“I wasn’t ordered to be friends with you”, the redhead scoffed. “And the bruises from our last meeting didn’t heal for a while. So, I don’t exactly like you. Go bother someone else with your–”

“Makinami-san, would you excuse me?” Shinji, polite as usual, addressed the girl who reflexively stepped out of the way. “Your bento, Asuka”, Shinji handed his girlfriend a box. “I don’t want to disturb your conversation, but… will you be joining us?”

“Yes!” Mari exclaimed happily. Shinji turned his confused face towards her, his expression turning pained when he realized the social conundrum he was just put into.

Fortunately for him, for at least one person, it was more of an opportunity than a problem.

“He was asking _me_, bubble-head”, Asuka growled as she took the box from Shinji’s hand. “Go feed your stray, Shinji, and I will take care of this… one”, she directed.

Shinji stepped away quickly, increasingly aware that they were drawing increasing attention, something he never enjoyed. Asuka did not seem to care, though, as she slowly rose from her seat, her eyes fixated on the face of the newcomer.

“Listen, Makinami”, she spoke in a voice calm but rife with a threatening undertone. “I don’t know who you are, and where did you come from. I only know that last time I saw you, you were in handcuffs, arrested for trespassing and assault on NERV personnel”, she continued; the brunette’s face clearly indicated she wanted to protest, but something was stopping her. “And I was told I was perfectly in my right with handing you over. And now, now come to me, and you say ‘Shikinami, let’s be friends’?” she narrowed her eyes. “If this is some intel operation, then it is the crappiest I’ve ever seen. Ever. And if this is genuine, then perhaps, perhaps you should practice your social skills. Because your smile and your boobs-in-the-face don’t work on me. And I don’t like your abuse of the local etiquette”, she listed. “Now, if you excuse me, I have a lunch to eat. In a company I somewhat enjoy”, she finished, refusing to give to the temptation to add ‘in contrary to yours’. Shinji would likely already give her a few for this level of brutality, and while seeing him surprised or even shocked was fine, making him disappointed was not. She picked up the box Shinji gave her and headed to the spot Shinji made for her, joined by him on the way.

“Don’t worry, Shikinami-san!” a surprisingly chirpy voice followed her after a few seconds of pause. “We’ll talk later!”

_‘Fuck’_, Asuka grumbled as she sat down, forcing herself not to turn or reply.

“Who **is** this?” Touji inquired a few moments later, eyeing the newcomer who was happily consuming her bento in the company of Hikari If Nobody Is Going To Be Nice It Falls To Me Horaki. “You know her, Shikinami?”

“You had to see her before. She’s the odd gal I found on the school roof a while ago and called Men in Black on”, Asuka explained with a shrug as if it was perfectly normal to visit the school roof and bring prisoners of war from there. “She claimed to be a pilot. Maybe she is, I don’t care”, she shrugged again and fished out a small cheese-wrapped sausage.

“I’m actually surprised Misato didn’t tell us about her joining the class”, Shinji remarked. “This could mean she’s lying.”

“I don’t care”, Asuka shrugged yet again. “If she tries anything again, I’m not going to be so nice this time.”

Touji and Kensuke gave the redhead doubting looks. “Nice?” Kensuke dared to voice the doubt.

“What?” Asuka shot him a glare. “I didn’t do anything to her beyond self-defense, right?”

***

“I could strangle her”, Asuka hissed at the memory, additionally annoyed by running out of targets to kick.

“You almost did”, Shinji remarked.

***

The end-of-day signal was always pleasant and longed for a sound for everyone at school. Well, perhaps except the people who were on duty on the given day. Asuka, not being one of those people, packed her bag quickly and got up in order to leave–

“Shikinami-san!”

Asuka turned; slowly, very slowly, she faced the owner of the voice. “Yes, Makinami? What in the name of the patron saint of people who cannot take a hint do you want?”

“Can I walk you home?” she asked out of the blue.

Asuka’s eyebrows shot up. “I don’t think we’re **that** close, Makinami. And you know what?” Asuka switched to English, “_you seem to have some kink for public humiliation, coming to me like this again. And you know what? I don’t care. But I won’t be scratching that itch again. Get lost_”, she finished and turned to Shinji. “Ready, Third? We’ve got errands to run before getting home, and I’m getting hungry.”

“Ready and waiting, Asuka”, he replied with a smile as he turned back to Rei. “Please tell me later how you enjoyed that one”, he shot a look at the book he put on her desk earlier. “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow”, her lips formed a minuscule smile – but her eyes were far better at indicating her happiness.

***

“Hardly”, Asuka shrugged as they approached the library building. “At least _someone_ in the class was happy”, she added.

“Asuka?” Shinji probed.

“Ayanami”, she explained. “She was almost _radiant_. I was about to ask whether there was a radiation leak in NERV. And before you tell me ‘radiation doesn’t work that way’”, she raised her hand, “I know that.”

“Is this uncomfortable to you, Asuka?” he asked, his voice worried.

“What? The fact that you’re taking care of a stray and she’s happy about that?” she scoffed. “We came to some agreement, right? I’m not killing you over what she does, and you remember to whom you belong.”

“Thank you, Asuka”, he smiled.

“Come on, I might be a tempestuous bitch, but when I know I can trust someone, I **do**”, she stated firmly. “And you’re among the very few I know I can trust.”

“Thank you”, he repeated, his smile warmer.

“And I guess you’ll be presenting me with a hefty bill for today”, she grumbled half-annoyed, half amused. “Not that it would be undeserved…”

“We can discuss that later, Asuka… but for once, I think I should leave this to _your_ judgment”, he declared.

“Mine?” she tilted her head, her expression confused. “It’s you who tries to correct my behavior. I’m fine with mine, always had been”, she chuckled.

Shinji’s expression turned ponderous. “Asuka, it’s not that I don’t _want_ you to be aggressive”, he admitted. “Not since I know how important part of you that is. I don’t want you to be pointlessly aggressive, stupidly aggressive. And today…” he let out a sigh.

“Today, it would be **you** threatening to strangle her if not for your manner and good upbringing?” Asuka asked in an amused voice.

“Pretty much”, Shinji admitted. “So, my judgment may not be the best all the time, but to punish you for what **I** would do if not for my manners… that’d be hypocrisy.”

“And a hypocrite you’re not, that’s for sure”, Asuka nodded and lowered her voice. “I… don’t know about punishment, Shinji-dear, but I surely will be needing some stress removal once we get home.”

“I think I know a great position for that”, he winked, his face gaining a soft blush.

“I’m going to leave that in your capable hands”, she grinned.

***

_About half an hour later_

“Ha!” Asuka explained before turning red and hiding her face behind her hair as the heads of other library users turned at her. “Fuck”, she added in a whisper.

“Let me guess”, Shinji whispered from above the book he was scanning. “You found you were right?”

“Yes indeed”, she whispered back and triumphantly showed him an entry in the movie lexicon. “_Casino Royale, a parody film made in…_” he read in a whisper from the English book. “Nineteen-sixty-seven”, he returned to Japanese. His expression turned into a mix of amusement and worry. “Misato’s not going to love you for that”, he remarked.

“I’m sorry, it was **she** who questioned me”, she shrugged in response. “Okay, let’s go make a copy of this page…” she put a bookmark in as she closed the book and took a look around the library.

“I thought you wanted to just snap a photo?” Shinji asked, his voice confused.

“I cannot frame a photo, nor I can rub it in Misato’s face”, she smirked. “And I can afford the copying fee if it means getting this pleasure.”

“It’s an odd way of finding pleasure”, Shinji remarked.

“Don’t worry, I prefer the one you give me”, she winked and went on with her search with a smile on her face, followed by her rather heavily blushing boyfriend.

***

“Asuka, this is not the right direction”, Shinji called out.

“It is”, she countered. “I want to return the movie and exchange pleasantries with the woman working there.”

“Asuka…” Shinji’s voice was more than a little bit exasperated.

“Oh come on”, she smirked. “I trust you have more than enough ability to shake all the bad mood out of me and fill me with happy thoughts… but why not make your work easier by burning some of the annoyance beforehand?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Asuka, sometimes I don’t know what to do with you”, he admitted, his exasperation mollified by amusement and warmth.

“Oh, Shinji-dear”, her eyebrows moved again, this time more vigorously. “I’m sure you **know** what to do with me”, the smirk turned into a surprisingly lewd smile. “You just can’t do it here and now.”

“I really hope Misato doesn’t decide to cancel her date at the last moment”, he shook his head, his face red. “Or I can imagine you either murdering her or finding her a new one in record time.”

“Perish the thought”, Asuka shivered. “Let’s just say I’d be giving her a trip to Mariana Trench if she did.”

***

“Do you want to wait outside?” Asuka asked as they approached the movie rental.

“Why?” Shinji shot her a confused look.

“I don’t know, you might be embarrassed by my behavior or something”, she shrugged. “Just giving you a way to avoid that.”

“I’d rather not be away in case you need help”, he replied with a worry in his voice.

“Oh come on, I’m not going there for a brawl, just a… friendly talk”, she retorted. “When was the last time I got physical with somebody?”

“Last Saturday, with Kensuke, when he touched me”, Shinji replied with a straight face.

“…okay, point”, she giggled. “But that was for a reason, and he suffered no damage.”

“Except to his ego, I believe”, Shinji remarked. “Well, it could’ve been worse”, he shrugged. “Could’ve been Touji’s ego.”

Asuka giggled again. “Yes indeed. Let’s go. There are better things to do with today than spend it discussing your dumb friends”, she decided as she put her hand on the door handle of the movie rental.

***

“Good afternoon”, Asuka greeted the woman behind the counter; the redhead’s smile, as Shinji remarked to himself, was venomous enough to qualify as a biological weapon.

“Oh, good afternoon, Shikinami-san”, the woman smiled a wide, professional smile – yet it was easy to notice a curious gleam in her eye. “How can I help you?”

“I’m here to return the _Batman_ movie… and to thank you for your consideration”, Asuka narrowed her eyes, her smile unchanging.

“I hope you are satisfied with the services rendered”, came a reply, the woman’s smile unwavering – and, as Shinji noticed, showing a bit more teeth.

“Oh, I didn’t have an opportunity… yet”, Asuka retorted as she handed the movie to the clerk. “Was that a personal recommendation?”

Shinji started to feel uncomfortable; this was a level of rudeness he would not permit himself. On the other hand, he did not object to Asuka’s idea before, so right now, he felt he should remain silent.

“Oh, not at all”, the woman kept smiling her professional smile even as her eyes showed she could easily grin. “A helpful hand from the local community”, she explained cryptically. “Will you be renting something else?” she asked in a more serious tone.

“Do you permit return on Monday if we rent it today?” Asuka asked, her tone unchanged.

“Only on the older titles, I’m afraid”, the clerk replied, her expression equally unchanged. “But considering your previous choices, Shikinami-san, I don’t think this will be a concern to you.”

“I see”, she nodded. “Shinji, would you please go get _The Godfather_? Either the trilogy box if it’s there, or just the first part, I don’t care.”

“Excellent choice”, the clerk’s smile widened just a bit. “I see you’re a woman of culture.”

“Thank you”, Asuka narrowed at this obvious feint. “I try to remind myself of classics from time to time. Do you have any recommendations on that?”

“Oh, no”, the clerk shook her head as her voice returned to the more amused tone. “I’m here just to provide cater to customers’ tastes and to fulfill their needs, unspoken as they might be”, she bowed her head slightly, her smile unchanged.

***

A few meters away, Shinji Ikari was frantically looking through the shelves, listening to the increasingly worrying conversation all the time. The exchange was done in polite tones, yes. But he had an uncertain suspicion that if it escalated in any way, they would be surrounded by several bald, tattooed men within a second. On the other hand, he could be overreacting: the threat of physical escalation was absent. For now.

“And I was convinced you would be glad to offer… suggestions?” came to him in Asuka’s voice, tinted with a tone he associated with a raised eyebrow.

“Only if the customer seems to be in need of it”, the clerk’s voice replied; Shinji suddenly felt a wave of relief as he found the desired black box; he grabbed it and rushed from between the shelves. “And you seem… satisfied right now”, the woman continued.

“I’ve got it!” he exclaimed, drawing Asuka’s attention just as she was opening her mouth for a retort.

“Hm. Okay”, she took a look at the case with the title ‘The Godfather Trilogy’ written in English in the franchise-typical font – and similarly stylized Japanese characters. “Thank you”, she nodded to him and put the box on the table. “This one, please, with return on Monday.”

“Of course”, the clerk’s smile still carried a note of amusement underneath the professional façade. “Anything else?”

“No, thank you”, Asuka replied. “I commend you on being such a great judge of character, though”, she bowed a small bow as she paid the fee, the tone of her voice still close to dangerous.

“Thank you”, the woman replied, her smile widening. “Here you are, and please enjoy the movie.”

“Thank you”, Shinji chimed in as he picked the bag with the box from the counter. “Goodbye!” he declared as he grabbed Asuka’s hand and prepared himself mentally for the possible necessity of having to make her leave. To his surprise, she offered no resistance, allowing him a final breath of relief as the door closed behind them.

“Too rude?” Asuka asked with a smirk on her face as they started to walk back.

“I… Well, could’ve been worse”, he admitted. “Can we… not do this again?”

“Only if I don’t find any other surprise in the box”, she stipulated.

“Then it is going to be me who is opening it”, Shinji countered.

“Hey, that… well, I suppose I should’ve said it differently, right?” Asuka chuckled. “Fine. But if you find something, I want to laugh over it too.”

“Fine for me”, he smiled.

***

“We’re home!” Shinji announced. The squawk of Pen Pen as he waved at them from his fridge was the only answer. “Seems we’ve been abandoned to our own devices”, Shinji let out a heavy sigh.

“Seems so”, Asuka confirmed, doing her best to maintain the façade of dismay. “Okay, the sooner we get it all cooking, the sooner we can get to the… dessert”, she smiled, breaking the illusion.

“Don’t forget the homework, too”, Shinji remarked.

“Oh, no”, Asuka shook her head. “I want to make this differently this time. While I’m better now, I’m still not in my _best_ mood. So, we make the food, we eat, and then we get to the fun part”, she decided.

“Asuka… are you sure?” Shinji probed. “We won’t be in the mood for homework later.”

“True. But Misato **can** catch us doing homework together, right? And we can explain the delay away by the visit to the library **she** asked us to make, and so on”, she pointed out. “But if she catches us _in flagrante_, then we’re not going to explain it in **any** way, no matter how drunk she’ll be at the time.”

“Fair point”, Shinji agreed. “If you will be able to relax despite the vision of homework–”

“Darling, I have the utmost trust in your skills to make me forget about the entire world”, she smiled a smile that made him a little bit lightheaded.

“I will do my best”, he smiled back.

“I’m sure you will”, she nodded. “So, what do you need chopped?”

“Washed, scrubbed, and chopped”, he corrected. “Three carrots, two onions, and the half of the celery root”, he listed after a second of pondering.

“By your command, chef”, she smiled. “But first–” her words stopped abruptly as her hand rested on his neck and pulled him into an intense, hungry, devouring kiss.

_‘I wonder whether I should be making her angry sometimes just for that effect…’_ was a stray thought his brain produced as he reciprocated the kiss with the appropriate fierceness. He shelved the idea for later – and decided that testing it today would be in bad taste.

***

“Okay, we have about twenty minutes before the food is ready”, Shinji announced next to Asuka’s door. “So–”

He found himself unable to finish as the door suddenly slid open and Asuka grabbed him for an aggressive kiss.

“You were saying?” she quipped after a few long minutes of lip-biting and tongue-fencing interaction.

“Food. Dinner. Soon”, he managed.

“Oh, that”, she smiled. “Sure, the sooner we’re done eating, the sooner we can get to the dessert”, the smile turned into a grin. “How does this sound?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Tasty”, he smiled, a blush creeping up his face.

“So I thought”, she nodded sagely. “Now, there’s only one thing to determine, namely: the order of servings.”

“Asuka?” he tilted his head.

“Ah. Yes”, she chuckled. “Your blood is elsewhere. Do you want to give me some cream first… or to dine on me before that?”

Shinji looked at her for a few seconds, clearly having trouble processing her words – but it became instantly clear when he finally managed to: his face lit up red better than any signal light.

“Asuka, are you sure?” he asked, his tone a mix of confusion and hope.

“Aren’t you?” she raised her eyebrows. “Come on, you asked about it, and I was ‘sure, just not now’”, she recalled. “So… backing up?”

“Yes. I mean, no. Sure. Gladly”, he rattled out.

“Good”, she chuckled. “Now, I prefer to be dined on first, then take care of you. You?”

“Sounds good”, he nodded, his voice somehow absentminded.

“God, you really need a restart”, she chuckled and pulled him for another kiss.

***

_A few minutes later_

“Better?” she detached herself from Shinji.

“A bit”, he replied. “Sorry about that.”

“Well, you have only so much blood”, she shrugged with an amused smile. “Now, if you excuse me… I need to prepare the buffet”, she winked. “And you may want to check the movie for traps if you don’t want me to do that once my curiosity defeats the _rectangular patience barrier_”, she quipped, speaking the final words in English.

“A what?” Shinji tilted his head.

“I’ll explain later if you’ll need something to bore you to sleep or terrify you out of your mind with microphysics”, she replied with a chuckle. _‘Let me guess, the quantum joke made him miss the ‘buffet’ part?_’ she noticed with amusement. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to prepare before we can eat… so we can eat well”, she suggested with a lewd smile.

“As you wish”, he agreed, his expression still bewildered.

***

“Let me guess”, Asuka started, emerging from the bathroom. “There was something?”

“Yes…” Shinji admitted, his voice an odd mix of amusement and mortification; he realized he could not tell whether Asuka changed just now, or when she first emerged from her room a few minutes ago; he shrugged it off as unimportant. “But I’d rather not show it to you, or our evening will turn from ‘fun and sexy time’ into ‘track down and murder’”, he elaborated.

“Okay, after something like this, you **have to** show it to me”, Asuka remarked.

“Are you sure?” he turned the card in his fingers.

“I promise not to murder that woman today”, Asuka raised her hand, her voice solemn.

“That’s a weak reassurance”, Shinji chuckled. “But I trust you won’t do anything I would strongly disapprove of, so…” he extended his hand. “Just know that I don’t intend to use it… and I suppose you should not, either.”

Asuka’s brows furrowed as she picked up the card and took a long look at it. “I see your reasoning now”, she admitted as she noticed the components with increasingly wide eyes: a frame made of intertwined whips, gags, lashes, and ropes; a rather odd-but-fitting ‘The Dog Club’ name; a slogan ‘We Train Everybody’ in a smaller font; an even smaller note ‘Discretion Absolutely Guaranteed’. She shook her head. “And I see that bitch’s reasoning, too. I just wonder if she meant I’m a pain and **you** should train me… or she thought I’m the Dom and would enjoy some professional advice”, she pondered.

“Well, we can always ask the next time”, Shinji quipped. “Or maybe **I** should go there next time, alone, just with a title choice from you…”

“Oh, no, no”, Asuka smiled a crooked smile. “I can work with that”, she waved the card. “And I would not throw you to the wolves like that, not a chance. But that’s a subject for Monday, not anytime sooner, and I’ll think something up”, she smiled. “Maybe some advert of a sedative or a flyer for Anonymous Sex Addicts meeting?” she chuckled.

“Asuka?” Shinji asked, his expression bewildered.

“Never mind”, she shook her head. “Food?”

“Ready in a minute. Come”, he picked the card from her fingers, pocketed it, and headed towards the kitchen.

***

“I assume you want to put the dishes away until… later?” Shinji inquired with a cheeky smile and a growing blush as he collected Asuka’s bowl.

“How did you guess that?” she replied in kind despite her voice being somewhat nervous.

“Experience”, his smile grew warmer. “Anything you need me to do beforehand?”

“Brush your teeth and wash your hands”, she winked. “And I’ll do the same in a moment.”

“As you wish”, he replied with a small bow, put the dishes away, and marched to the bathroom with a wide smile on his face.

“And rent a copy of ‘The Princess Bride’ next time”, she added in a whisper to herself while getting up and marching to her room to pick up the skirt-and-loose-top attire she chose for the afternoon – a set chosen more for the ease of removal than anything else.

That thought brought a smile to her face. _‘I wish Misato got out on dates more often’_, she realized. _‘Or, if we’re aiming for the impossible, that she learned about this in some sensible way and accepted it for what it was. Yeah, I can dream, can I?’_ she sighed before shaking it off. Dwelling on that would bring her little, and there were better things to do right now. _‘Mission objective: enjoy my boyfriend and make him melt. Operation – commence!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there’s something more to unpack after this one.
> 
> The issue of Mari Makinami – don’t tell me you didn’t expect to see her again – is complicated, so I’m giving a few words of my random musings (or rants, depending on your point of view) here. People uninterested in that can skip the next paragraph.
> 
> Before Mari Makinami Illustrious casually puts on her plugsuit and enters Unit-02 just before the Zeruel fight, clearly with the right to be there, she is seen nowhere near NERV; this makes her canon appearance a bit of a plot hole in my eyes. After all, she would’ve been a more logical choice for the test pilot if she was on the NERV roster. I’ve seen explanations that this is a case of the European NERV taking over Unit-02 (with some lines a while earlier indicating their right to do so), but – while possible – this feels rather contrived and insufficiently explained, and leaves a lot of other holes – like, for instance, how did she get into NERV HQ and how did she manage to activate the Unit-02 that was, at the time, sealed in some odd stuff I assume was epoxy of sorts exactly to prevent this kind of quick activation; I had images of her, Kaji, and a few other people frantically running around Unit-02 with hammers and chisels, trying to release it… Thus here, I decided to alter her storyline a bit to avoid this issue completely and have her included on different terms. I’m not sure whether it is for the better, but it surely removes a concept that was bothering me.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2021-02-15 and – if someone didn’t guess from the setup – will contain lemons. And fanservice. And a spanking. And a dessert. Of sorts.
> 
> I swear that the coincidence of a lemony chapter with the Valentines and the International Fanworks Day is exactly that – a coincidence.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a pure lemon. I mean it, there is almost nothing non-lemony in it, barring some lemon-tinted character development.
> 
> Caveat lector.

_About ten minutes later_

“Okay, you had something particular–” Shinji’s sentence, started as he noticed Asuka emerging from the bathroom, got suddenly interrupted when she literally charged him, pushed him back until he was stopped by the couch – he gave a small thanks to gods that he managed not to trip – and conquered his lips with a violent kiss.

“Aside from the obvious, I guess”, he managed to quip after a few long minutes – and catching his breath. A quick check made him realize that he was in a somewhat disheveled state: his shirt, neatly tucked in his pants at all times, was now out and partially unbuttoned – just as the aforementioned pants, held in place only by the fact that Asuka’s hand was resting on his bottom – or, more precisely, between his pants and his briefs.

“Surprised?” Asuka blurted out, her breath approaching a pant. She was in a similar state of dishevelment, her skirt unbuttoned and revealing half of her hip, her top ridden up as Shinji’s hand ran around her waist, his palm resting just below her breast.

“Just a bit”, Shinji admitted, his breath similarly heavy. “Not enough to give you five for that, though”, he smiled.

Asuka’s stomach fluttered. “Please do”, she blurted out in a raspy voice. “Right now.”

“Asuka?” Shinji shook his head in confusion.

“Tell me to get the paddle, and give me five for that, or for anything, or just because you want to”, she elaborated. “I need that. It’s just five, any marks would be gone tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” he checked.

“Ask me again, and I will start begging”, she replied, her voice still rough. _‘And I will. Fuck’_, she realized with an internal chuckle. _‘And just thinking of this …’_ she mused as she felt a familiar tingling in her nether parts. She was not sure what would be better: him agreeing and sending her to get to the paddle, or him objecting and making her beg.

She suddenly realized she would be perfectly fine with both – and perfectly fine with him ordering that. _‘God, when did he break me so much?’_ a shiver ran down her body. _‘And **why do I like that**?’_ a bout of panic started to rapidly snowball in her mind, damaging the already-made conclusions, forming a word of escape on her lips, making a final desperate attempt to stop the madness she was sinking into–

“Ask me properly, Miss Langley”, he _spoke_.

Asuka blinked, confused. His blue eyes were right in front of her face, watching her, waiting for her to obey. But something was missing. Something that was here just a moment–

She searched her mind. It was in high gear, yes, active, aroused, eager – but no longer panicked.

_‘God, he–’_

She let out a bout of loud, happy laughter.

***

Shinji Ikari saw Asuka have various reactions to his ministrations in the moments they were partaking in their secret life: her face twitching and twisting in pain, tears running down her cheeks, her expression full of relief – and lately, also of ecstasy. He had heard her laugh, too, of course – aggressively, bitterly, but also happily. But it was rare for those two situations to overlap.

And thus, having his girlfriend in his arms, _ordering_ her to do something, and seeing her expression turn blank and then suddenly hear her laugh atop of her lungs – this was beyond _unusual_, speeding past _weird_ and _confusing_, and quickly turning into _worrying_. The only saving grace was that this bout of laughter really sounded _happy_, not _insane_. So he did the only thing that came to his mind: he kept holding her and waited for the bout of laughter to end.

***

“God, Shinji, I… I…” she tried. “I’m sorry”, she reasserted herself. “I’m sorry sir”, she corrected herself. Her mind was still spinning, and she felt quite lightheaded – but this was a **good** feeling. “I’m sorry, sir”, she repeated, her voice slowly returning to normal. “Please, give me five swats on my bottom, just as I deserve for almost tripping you. Please, I want to be a good girl! And the only way to ensure that is by your hand”, she looked at him with pleading eyes.

Shinji gave her a careful look, his eyes asking the obvious question: ‘are you all right?’

Miss Langley’s demure expression disappeared for a second, replaced by Asuka’s cheeky smile; the redhead winked at him – and once more, it was the repentant schoolgirl looking at him. He breathed a sigh of relief – and resumed his stern expression. Putting his hands on Asuka’s hips, he gently pushed her away, making her pull her hand out of his pants.

“Miss Langley”, he addressed Asuka as he buttoned the pants up without bothering to tuck the shirt in; he was aware it was going to be gone in less than a minute. “You are a good girl…”, he continued, touching her cheek; she shivered visibly. “But you are correct, you need to be… reminded about that from time to time. Now…” his voice grew harder; a part of his mind noticed with amusement that this was the case not just with his voice. “Go to your room and bring me the strap I am going to apply the punishment with”_,_ he _commanded_. “And when you emerge from the room, I want you properly prepared to receive that punishment. Do you know what I mean?”

“Without a stitch of clothing on my form, sir?” she asked, her eyes cast down.

“Exactly”, he confirmed with a nod and an approving smile. “Except your hair accessories, perhaps”, he amended. “I prefer to see your face at all times.”

“Yes, sir”, she nodded. “Permission to leave?”

“Granted”, he nodded. “And make it fast.”

***

Asuka’s heart was racing. She was generally aware of what has happened – a part of her got struck down – but she was not sure about the possible consequences. She did a quick check – and all she found was a strange feeling of loss. But it was a feeling more akin to having dropped a heavy backpack than suddenly realizing your pocket was empty; she felt _unburdened_.

_‘God, I wish I had **someone** to talk to about that’_, she shook her head as she quickly disposed of her clothing before heading to the drawer. For a moment she pondered turning to her already dusty doll – but decided against that after just a short consideration. _‘No. I’m not going back there. I just need a moment for myself… but this comes **after** my brain is fucked clean, his balls are empty, and my brain is fucked clean again’_, she decided with glee as she picked the strap and collected herself before leaving to meet her greatly-anticipated fate.

***

Shinji was pondering the details of this situation. It certainly veered in some unexpected direction, but nothing that happened so far felt _wrong_. Asuka’s behavior might have been odd, but she seemed fine – in a way, she reassured him that she _was_ fine. He wondered for a moment whether he should not question her about it as soon as she emerged back, but quickly decided against it; after all, they were in a middle of a scene, and interrupting it just to make _extra sure_ she was fine was a quick ticket to ruin the mood and make her feel anything _but_ fine. And so, he simply decided to add this as a subject for a later discussion, one they usually held when they retire to bed.

Having concluded that, he quickly removed his shirt and the undershirt, tossed them behind the door to his room, out of sight. He decided that trying to make it look presentable was pointless – and he fully expected Asuka to remove it off him quickly anyway; being undressed by her was fun, but it would introduce a delay. He made sure the pants were properly fastened, checked his posture and corrected it to stand straight and as proud as possible in his case – and waited for his favorite redhead to show up.

***

Asuka pondered for a moment how she should appear – and decided to let her instinct guide her. _‘I’m a penitent schoolgirl, sent to prepare myself for a punishment’_, she reiterated, every word sending another wave of fluttering across her stomach, along with impulses down her spine, right to her nether parts. _‘I’m a good girl, but I need to be reminded that… with this’_, she looked down on the strap in her hands. _‘So, I’m expected to be **eager** for the punishment, but respectful to the one that delivers it’_, she concluded – and smiled to herself as she slid the door open.

He was waiting for her already, half-naked, his shirt missing. He looked quite nice for a boy his age, as she could not resist noticing; he was not exactly_ manly –_ but this would surely come with time. What mattered was the fact that that he certainly seemed_ confident._

She took a few measured steps, her eyes cast down. She intended to just extend her hands with the strap as soon as she was in range – but something in her head had told her to act differently.

Once she was within the hands’ reach, she dropped to her knees, lowered her head – and extended her hands with the strap above her head.

“The tool of my punishment, sir”, she spoke, her voice firm. “As you ordered. Please use it as you desire.”

***

Shinji took a deep breath. What his girlfriend – or, right now, his sub – did was perfectly within the orders he gave her… except that she took advantage of his lack of precision. This could be seen as ‘bratting out’, a term he learned while reading up on the subject but barely understood – except that ‘brat behavior’ was usually _disruptive_ in some way, even if it was minor. Right now, Asuka was actually expressing _deeper_ submission than he expected her to – and she did it on her own initiative.

_‘How did it go?’_ he tried to recall any advice on such a situation._ ‘“Always appreciate the initiative, but never let it throw you off course”?’_

He took another deep breath and picked the strap up from her hands; her hands went down and – after a moment of fumbling – ended up crossed on the small of her back. Nothing else in her position changed.

“Rise, and come to me, Miss Langley”, he _commanded_ as he touched her cheek. “A good girl like you deserves to receive such punishment in a little bit different way.”

***

Asuka was confused. Not by Shinji’s actions – those were predictable, in a good way. Not by the circumstances – those were quite normal, all things considered. She was confused by her own instincts, by her own actions, by her own deeds.

She was confusing herself, and that was, in turn, making her worried. This worry was mitigated by the fact that her actions felt _right_ – which only added to the confusion, closing the vicious feedback loop. The only thing that was keeping her from exploding here and now was the fact that Shinji seemed to be fine with her behavior – and thus she decided to trust him. He might not have been the most_ experienced_ Dom she could hope for – but he was _her_ Dom, and he cared for her. And that was enough.

Having reached that conclusion, she waited, kneeling – until she heard his command and rose.

“Sir?” she asked the moment she was standing upright again.

“Look at me, Miss Langley”, he _ordered_.

She obeyed – and saw a smile; the confusion, momentarily subdued by his orders, returned. “Sir?”

He rested his bottom against the headrest of the couch and extended his arms. “Come to me, Miss Langley”, he commanded in a softer voice. “You earned this by embracing me, you should be punished while embracing me”, he explained.

She blinked for a moment, trying to process the orders – but her brain, while confused, found no room for interpretation – so she obeyed, carefully resting her body against his and wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders.

“Good girl”, he spoke up approvingly, eliciting a small shiver from her.

_‘Call me that more, sir, please…’ _a thought ran through her mind. _‘God, I wonder how I am going to regain any initiative for sex later if he leaves me a fucking puddle with this…’_ she mused as she felt his arms closing around her waist. Any follow-up thoughts were suddenly cut by his voice.

“Miss Langley, you’re about to receive a five for your… surprising actions”, he _declared_. “Count every of those. Whether to thank me and ask for more is left to your decision. I expect you to maintain your position and body contact at all times. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir”, she purred out, enjoying the direct skin-to-skin contact; this was something new in a punishment situation – and thus something she wanted to appreciate. “Please, don’t hold back”, she requested in a soft voice. “I want this to _hurt_.”

“Are you sure, Miss Langley?” he checked. “You might want to _sit_ on that wonderful bottom sooner or later.”

“I am sure, sir”, she confirmed. “It’s the number of strokes that makes it hard to sit”, she added. “But now I’m getting very few… so I want to feel _each and every one of them_”, she declared. “Please.”

“As you wish, Miss Langley, you deserved to be heard”, Shinji agreed with a smile in his voice. “Ready?”

“Yes, sir”, she nodded and tightened her embrace. “Please.”

“Remember, hold tight”, he reminded her – and placed the strap against her bottom, his other hand firmly wrapped around her waist. The soft shiver that caused did not elude his attention. “Anticipating this so much, Miss Langley?”

“Sir… please… don’t tease me”, her voice turned pleading. “Hurt me. Please”, she almost whispered.

The strap rose – and struck.

This was a sensation Asuka knew well, at least on the physical level, having taken hundreds of such strokes already. On a mental level, it was also generally familiar – the blows got to her head, causing her arousal, reaffirming her submission, putting her in place. But this one was somewhat different.

First of all, she knew she was getting only a few; this made her cherish each of them. Second, she was not braced against a table, couch, or bed – she was holding to **Shinji**, feeling his every breath, his every movement – and transmitting her of reactions to him as well. This felt far more personal, far more _intimate._ It somehow combined – to a degree – the pain and intensity of the strapping with the intimacy and softness of the over-the-knee spanking; it was not a _perfect_ fusion of those both – but it was coming close.

“One”, she whispered. “Thank you, sir. Can I have four more?” she requested, her tone unchanged. Another surprising sensation joined the plethora of impulses surrounding her as she spoke – and after a few moments, she identified this new impulse as Shinji’s erection pressing against her naked body. _‘As if I didn’t know you liked hurting me, you pervert’_, she chuckled internally. _‘Not that I’m not glad that you–’_

Another blow struck, not waiting for her thoughts to run their course. It spread the heat and the tingling sensation across her skin – and made her gasp out the “two!” he expected of her. Shinji certainly listened to her request – those blows were far stronger than ones she gave her, even when she asked him to ‘let his anger out’. “Thank you, sir”, she continued. “Can I have three more?”

The strap returned to its spot – and rose again. She tightened her embrace.

“Three!” she almost yelled out. “Thank you, sir. Can I have… two more?”

“Strong enough, Miss Langley?” he checked, his voice half-amused, half-concerned.

“Yes, sir”, she admitted. “Please, continue. Don’t spare me.”

“Oh, I don’t intend to”, he replied – and she felt his erection bulging again. _‘God, he’s a sadist, all right’_, she realized. _‘But he’s **my** sadist, and I’m going to–aahH**H**–’_

“Four!” she blurted out loud. “Thank you, sir”, her voice dropped to normal. “Can I have one more, sir?” she requested just as the strap rose again – and fell even stronger.

“Five!” she yelled out. “Thank you, sir!” she managed among the panting. “Thank you, sir!” she repeated in a softer voice.

“Satisfied, Miss Langley?” his voice was almost mocking.

“I am, sir”, she replied. “I would love to ask you for more, though”, she admitted. “But I know you will object”, she added with some dismay.

“That I would”, he agreed. “You took it well, as a good girl should. Now…” he paused and released his grasp on her waist. “I believe you had some idea? A request?” he put the strap on the headrest and slowly pushed her away to look at her face; whatever he saw on it, it made him smile.

“Yes, sir”, she nodded, her breath still heavy. “Can I ask you to…” she paused as she realized her blush was growing with every second.

“Yes, Miss Langley?” he raised his eyebrow. “I’m sure this cannot be that hard to say.”

_‘You…’_ she grinned internally. _‘You’ll be **begging** for me to finish tonight…’_

“No, sir”, she replied. “I – I want you to take care of me, to lick me, to give me head, to bring me to orgasm with your mouth, to make me come with your lips, tongue, and perhaps fingers”, she listed on one breath.

To her satisfaction, his blush, hitherto rather soft, grew to undoubtedly match hers. “I believe you earned that right”, he managed to answer. “Please choose the position we both would be comfortable in”, he requested. “And assume it.”

_‘Neat’_, she had to admit. _‘Deferring to my knowledge but without surrendering control. Is that instinct, darling, or did you grow that sharp when I was not looking?’_ she wondered as she slowly disentangled her arms from around him and took a look around the room. She had already done some planning – and thus immediately went for the couch. “Here, sir”, she declared. “Permission to get a towel?”

“Granted”, he nodded. “But make it quick, I want to enjoy you as soon as possible”, he added with a widening smile.

_‘Perv. As if I didn’t…’_ she chuckled as she hurried towards her room.

***

“Anything you wish me to do before I am ready for you, sir?” the redhead asked with a smile as she laid out the towels.

“To stop delaying, Miss Langley”, he replied in a curt tone, still standing behind the couch’s backrest.

“Oh”, she chuckled. “Yes, sir”, she acknowledged – and sat down on the couch; after a few seconds of trying out possible positions, she put a pillow behind her back and settled against it. “Ready, sir”, she reported.

She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan as he touched her shoulder with his fingers and traced a line along her collarbone to the other shoulder; it was a soft caress, but it felt like electricity running along her skin.

“I’m not anywhere your sensitive spots, Miss Langley”, Shinji remarked, his voice somewhat surprised.

_‘You’ve got a lesson to learn here, Shinji-dear’_, Asuka kept the remark to herself, making a note to talk it with him at some point later. _‘In the proper state of mind, every spot is a sensitive spot… I wonder if you could bring me over the edge just by your kisses and touches all over my body’_, she pondered, letting out another small moan as his hand went over her shoulder and to her side; she realized to her surprise that she unwittingly raised her hands, facilitating his access to her body.

“I like your enthusiasm, Miss Langley”, he responded, his voice amused.

“Sir, anything–” she started only to be cut off by a firm kiss against her lips; his hands were tracing lines along her sides, sending jolts to her nervous system. “Please, sir, don’t make me wait”, she pleased as he broke the kiss. “Please…” she repeated almost in a whisper.

“Open your eyes”, he requested as his hand touched her cheek, sending a shiver down her whole body. She obeyed immediately, only to see his face right in front of her; it was a friendly, caring face, focused entirely on her, with hints of uncertainty and worry – but filled with determination, too.

It was a mixture she understood all too well.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“With my life, sir”, she replied without a moment of hesitation, just as she did several times before; it always surprised her how natural it felt to say it.

“And with your body?” he asked, his voice warming up.

“Yes, sir”, she confirmed.

“Open yourself, then, Miss Langley”, he _commanded_. “I want to… see”, he added, his voice shakier.

She took a deep, shaky breath. Her face was, of course, already red – but this has caused yet another rush of blood. _‘Shameless, shameless, shameless! Slut, wanton, hussy!’_ sounded in her head – followed only by _‘And loving it…’_ as she slowly moved her legs apart.

Shinji gave her the last kiss on her mouth – and he started to move down her body, marking his movements with kisses placed on her skin, step by step, lower and lower. Each caused her to let out a moan, each louder than the one before.

His attentions were not aggressive or violent, they were not ever particularly strong – but she found herself drowning in them.

_‘God, and he didn’t even reach the main dish…’_ a part of her mind managed to realize. _‘I was right to wait for the right time, I was–aah!’_

***

Asuka’s body, far from a complete mystery to Shinji, was still a bit of a minefield to him. He knew about several things he should avoid – like tickling her on purpose – and some she enjoyed – like his touch on the very sensitive sides and belly. But every time she was in his hands, he discovered something new. This was, of course, part of the fun – but also the source of considerable stress. His main saving graces were Asuka’s reassurances – and, confirmed by experience, conviction that he was getting better and better at reading her reaction.

With that awareness compensating his anxious-to-near-panic state, he focused on his girlfriend, surprising himself with the boldness of his words as he requested to see her in all her glory.

***

Asuka had a general idea of what to expect from the act, from both descriptions and rather good knowledge of her body – but she obviously lacked the experience proper. She was simply expecting a softer version of the teasing-and-rubbing sensation – and in a way, this is what she got.

She just forgot that the most important sex organ was not between her legs – but between her ears.

The moment Shinji’s head reached the target and began his ministrations, she let out a surprised gasp as electricity jolted along far too many nerves. Fortunately, her boyfriend had the presence of mind not to stop despite a rather sudden reaction; he merely _slowed down_, reducing the sensation from _overwhelming_ to _flooding._ Asuka wanted to let it all out, to purr, to moan, to scream if needed – all at once. Except she could not, not with Misato–

A realization reached her barely functional mind. _‘There is nobody to hide from. We’re alone. We’re–’_

***

A long, loud, and nearly ecstatic moan coming in a reaction to a rather regular – at least according to his purely theoretical knowledge – put Shinji off-balance for a moment. To his credit, he did not stop – just stopped moving around.

The reaction itself was a blessing to him; until now, he was not sure if he was during things right and just needed to continue until Asuka started to get louder – or that he was fumbling around, achieving nothing. Now he knew he was doing _something_ right.

The whole experience, no matter how much he read about it, was more than a little bit overwhelming, both in complexity – to which he was prepared – and the amount of sensation he was exposed to – to which he was certainly not _prepared_, but tremendously _enjoyed_. The emotional part of the whole act, along with the awareness of how much Asuka had to trust him to finally allow him to get so close, capped by her suddenly intense reactions – all that made his head spin.

_‘Now I understand why Asuka enjoys doing this to me’_, he realized with the little free brainpower remaining to him. _‘Even if it’s only a fraction as strong the other way around…’_

He suddenly felt a hand sliding into his hair. “Please… sir…” reached him before her surprisingly strong thighs covered his ears. But despite that ear muffing, he could hear her very positive reaction to his intensified ministrations.

***

Asuka’s muscles tensed as she felt the climax approaching – but everything Shinji was doing was keeping her on the edge, not allowing her to cross it. This could have been his mean side showing, but considering this was his first time going down, he would likely lack the necessary finesse. So this had to be unintentional.

With that thought, she moaned a few pleading words, reached with her hand, and pulled his head closer in a universal signal.

_‘**More**.’_

***

Shinji stopped processing the situation consciously; after a minuscule pause in which he adjusted his position – a necessary change so he could actually _breathe_ – he sped up his ministrations and put all his strength into it. He felt his tongue going numb – but considering how Asuka’s body _shook_ and how _loud_ she was – stopping now would be beyond cruel. Considering that he was under impression that she could break his neck right now with a well-placed leg movement only increased his determination.

The muscle spasm intensified even more and Asuka’s moans got really loud – or perhaps he heard them better once she uncovered his ears.

It did not matter. He just went on.

***

Asuka was panting heavily, her eyes closed, her body shaken by small aftershocks.

“Thank you… sir”, she managed to mutter, her hand going through his hair. “Please… come up…” she requested in a husky voice. _‘I must’ve been really loud…’_ she realized as she tried to clear her sore throat. _‘Worth it, totally worth it…’_

She could feel Shinji moving around, taking far more time than it should take to get up. She opened her eyes slowly – and caught an image of him being just about done with removing his pants.

“I’m sorry, Miss Langley”, he smiled. “I thought it would be a courtesy to match your outfit”, he explained.

“Come to me”, she extended her arms. “Sir”, she added after a moment.

“With pleasure, Miss Langley”, he carefully approached her – and sunk into her arms; his cooler body touching her feverish skin made her shiver again. She embraced the sensation like all the others that came before – and just held him as her body slowly returned to normal. She heard him say something, but it did not matter – his voice, his smell, his presence – everything just added to the bliss, a bliss he seemed to share as he clung to her with all his body.

Only after a long while, she leaned her head back and met his gaze as he pulled away just a bit. “Thank you, sir… Anything I can do to thank you?” she asked, her voice hazy.

“Oh, a lot of things, Miss Langley”, his voice was no less dreamy. “Give me your opinion, first and foremost”, he winked.

“Oh, that’s not fair”, she sulked just a bit. “In this condition, I could only say ‘heavenly’”, she admitted with a small giggle, realizing she was just mirroring his past descriptions. “I mean… It was stupid to wait so long”, she formulated a more coherent thought.

“Good meals take time to prepare”, he quipped. “So… Miss Langley…” he started again, his voice suddenly nervous.

“Mm?” she titled her head. “What is it… sir?”

“Would you care for a kiss?” he asked, trying to maintain eye contact despite obvious tension.

“Oh”, she grinned. _‘I knew it. You’re a dirty, dirty boy, just as I am a dirty, dirty girl’_, she concluded with delight. “Are you sure that is… appropriate, sir?” she asked, a gleam in her eye.

“No less than what I just did, Miss Langley”, he replied, his tone deadpan.

Asuka just chuckled – and placed her hand on his neck.

_‘So recognizable, yet so different’_, she smiled as their lips connected. _‘And I’m not going to be done with the one I just had now’_, she realized with an internal giggle.

***

“So… what is your command now, sir?” she asked as she licked her lips after breaking the long, lazy kiss. Shinji gave her a careful glare: his way of checking whether she is fine without breaking the mood with words. She winked at him, confirming it – and her smile grew.

“Miss Langley, do you expect any answer other than ‘let’s switch places’, followed by ‘on your knees’?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Not really, sir”, she admitted with a chuckle. “But… can I ask you to–” she interrupted herself. _‘No, not the right mood for that. We don’t have to be subtle here. I don’t **want** subtle’_, she realized. “Make me… sir”, she grinned.

***

_‘This is a bit new’_, Shinji realized, a sudden tension running through his stomach, his previous uncertainty returning. _‘I… don’t know how to do that. I don’t think there was any advice on that… what do I do?’_

His head full of chaotic thoughts and rising panic, he refocused on the face in front of him, looking for _something_ to grasp on – and he saw eyes full of expectation, desire, and lust – but also hope, trust, and happiness.

_‘Okay, she’s already **fine**’_, he realized. _‘More than fine, she’s **satisfied**. I can ruin that, sure… but only if I do something stupid. And what would be stupid here?’_ he pondered for a second before arriving at the obvious answer. _‘Being **soft**.’_

A smile slowly emerged on his face, turning immediately into a smirk. “That’s cheeky of you, Miss Langley”, he remarked. “I can pretend I didn’t hear that… if you apologize now.”

Asuka raised an eyebrow. “With all due respect, sir, no way in the fucking hell”, she replied, her grin sustained.

He let out a sigh. “You’re making it worse, Miss Langley, and in this case, it **is** possible to make it worse”, he remarked. “I would give you five more for your language, but this would likely bruise your bottom too much, so this has to go to the count… unless you convince me otherwise later today”, he continued; eliciting a small purr and a look of approval from Asuka. “And now…” he gently touched the side of her breast and slowly traced his finger up along her side, to her collarbone, to her neck – and slid it into her hair, grasping them at their roots.

Asuka’s purr turned into a loud moan, her eyes closing as her head followed his gentle-but-decisive grip. The moan only repeated when he pulled her up as he rose from above her. A moment later she was standing, her hair still in his grasp, her body against his, his lips next to her ear. “…now, you will be a good girl and follow me”, he finished as he carefully maneuvered himself and still-tangled Asuka to switch places, his back turned to the couch now. “The choice is yours”, he caressed her face with the other hand, “follow me as I sit… or fall on me, because _I’m not letting you go_”, he almost growled the last words.

***

Asuka blinked in surprise. This was very uncharacteristic of him; that was almost an animalistic sound, doubtlessly aggressive – and _lustful_. _‘Oh, are you getting impatient, darling?’_ she pondered with amusement – amusement that was quickly tinted with a gut-level fear as she noticed his eyes. _‘Oh yes you are’_, she purred.

“Don’t let me go”, she whispered. “Ever”, she added – and with a grace given her by long hours spent on the training mat, she kicked his legs from under him.

***

Shinji, caught unaware by this sudden attack, dropped uncontrollably on the couch before he could realize what was going on – and, as a consequence, had Asuka drop on him half a second later. His saving grace was the fact that her hands were free – and she more-or-less predicted how he would fall.

“Asuka, are you–” he started, only to be interrupted by a finger on his lips.

“Listen carefully, I know this is going to cost me, and it better”, she started in her normal voice, tinged by a weird mix of amusement and lust, “this or another way. Now, keep going, and don’t you **dare** spare me”, she demanded. “And remember, aside from my bottom I have thighs, hands, and soles to beat”, she purred out. “Questions?”

“None”, he replied in a slightly confused but still warm voice before switching to his sterner one, shaking just a bit as his stomach fluttered again. “And that was very unbecoming of you, Miss Langley”, his grip on her hair tightened. “In a moment, I will lead your head where it belongs right now, and you will blow me the best you can. I will decide what punishment to apply… after you’re done, and based on your… performance.”

Asuka’s eyes narrowed, speaking volumes about her satisfaction with that arrangement. “Yes, sir”, she agreed as she tried to nod.

“Wonderful. Now…” he trailed off as he pulled her closer for a short kiss – and then led her head all the way down. “Now, convince me you’re not just a good girl… but also a skilled one.”

***

Asuka let out another purr as she felt his hand guiding her and his voice setting a task, those two factors effectively reducing her reality to a single aspect – giving Shinji the pleasure he expected of her. She took a deep breath, licked her lips in anticipation – and took as much of him into her mouth as she was able to in one move, starting the ministrations she already had several opportunities to practice.

An intense gasp was an indication that she did it just right – and a slight suggestion that her plan to tease him _just a bit_ before granting him relief might be impossible. Each and every signal coming from him was telling her that he was basically ready to explode.

_‘Did I **really** have this kind of effect on him?’_ she mused, surprised, as she applied the softest possible stimulation despite his hand closing on her hair almost _painfully_. _‘It’s not impossible, considering what blowing him does to me… if going down on me makes him feel even just a **fraction** of what I feel when I’m working on him, it’s actually a small miracle he didn’t come in his pants’_, she concluded as she started to increase the tempo. While it seemed unlikely to her she could keep him on the brink for very long, she thoroughly enjoyed the crescendo of the alternating moans, purrs, and gasps he was making.

_‘Well, well, well, it seems it’s not just **me** who realized I can be happily loud today’_, she giggled internally as she brought her hands to bear, running traces and scratches along his body.

“Finish… this…” he managed between gasps.

Asuka was, obviously, unable to answer verbally without interrupting – but she tried to speak with her mouth full – and he seemed to recognize the words she intended to utter: “Make me.”

Some people say those are the worst-advised words ever in most situations. Asuka was quite certain they were actually the best. It was, of course, a matter of personal opinion.

About two seconds later, the ever-present pressure on her head, hitherto just guiding and only occasionally insistent, grew to a level she could barely resist. A momentary panic was momentarily replaced by a single thought: _‘I asked for this, I wanted this, I still do’_ – and bringing her whole skill to bear.

It took less than a minute for his body to tense – and Asuka recognized the symptoms of the incoming climax. For a second, she considered pulling out, allowing this to become a horrible mess, and then get off on being forced to clean it up – but the pressure on her head precluded that scenario. She just tightened her lips – and braced herself.

***

“Would you care for a kiss, sir?” she purred after a few long minutes of laying on his chest.

“I somehow suspected you’d ask, Miss Langley”, he chuckled, gently running his hand through her hair. “I certainly wouldn’t mind one”, he agreed and smiled at her as she climbed him to claim his lips.

“And how do you find my performance, sir?” she asked a few long minutes later.

“Sufficient to reduce your punishment to a five… added to the counter, or spread across your thighs, if you want them now”, he replied.

“Sir…” she purred out. “You know what I want, don’t you?” she rubbed her head against his face.

“To get all of them, all eighty-five now, raw on your bottom, on the most exposed position possible, and then to cry it out while you hold to me as tightly as it is humanly possible?” he asked, his voice warm, with a tinge of amusement.

She clung to him suddenly. “Yes”, she whispered. “Will you give me that… or at least part of it, when I’m done with this stupid test?”

“With pleasure, darling”, he agreed immediately. “I will even let you decide on the position and count of that installment… within reason”, he added.

“Aw, to what I owe such grace of my tormentor?” she quipped, her voice still carrying a hint of purring.

“To my good mood, I guess. Which I credit to your skill”, he smirked. “I hope I was not too–”

“Too rough?” she interrupted. “Hardly”, she shook her head. “And I expect you to get even rougher… sir”, her smile grew wider.

“Miss Langley?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I had a wonderful dinner, a great dessert, but now I want a snack to sate me fully”, the smile reached a full grin. “So… if you don’t mind, sir, I would enjoy those five on my thighs… and then your definitely-not-gentle hand taking care of… me”, she finished.

“Aren’t you getting a little greedy, Miss Langley?” Shinji asked, his eyebrow rising even higher.

“Oh, I am, sir”, she admitted shamelessly. “But please, tell me: don’t I deserve it?” she asked in a softer voice and looked at him with begging eyes.

Shinji rolled his eyes. “You’re making it far too hard to resist your pleas, Miss Langley. There are few ways you could make it more convincing”, he admitted – and fell silent as his favorite redhead detached from him and slid to the floor. The first kiss landed on his knee, the next one just below, the next on his shin–

The moment he realized where this was going to end, he gasped. “Asuka, stop”, he _commanded_.

The red mane rose from her steadily lowering position, eyeing him with a curious glare. This was not the word, but he broke character openly – but also used his _voice_, consciously or not. “Dear?”

“I agreed”, he explained. “If this was what I think it was… save it for the next time, because I don’t think we have enough time to play it out _right_”, he suggested.

The redhead sulked for a moment, then grinned. “Just promise me you won’t forget to make me do it when the time is right, okay?” she requested. “Or I will do it myself… at an inopportune moment.”

“As if you needed to fish for more strikes…” Shinji chuckled and carefully rose from the couch. “Thank you”, he smiled before resuming a sterner demeanor. “Miss Langley”, he took a deep breath. “Lie down, your face down… or no, no”, he corrected himself. “Fix the towels so they cover the backrest, and kneel over them, your bottom out. I want full access to your wonderful legs.”

“Yes, sir”, she purred out and jumped up to obey him.

***

The rough texture of the towel was the first external sensation Asuka, registered as she assumed the position she was ordered into. _‘Well, not as interesting as being forced to kneel on cold tiles, but we’ll get there’_, she grinned internally before focusing on her current predicament – that, in her opinion, did not even deserve that term. The main aspect of this position was not the discomfort, but the exposure.

Asuka was quite aware how she had to look right now; kneeling with her bottom up, her back arched down as much as possible, her legs spread slightly – once upon a time, she would claim it was for balance, but now she saw no reason to lie to herself about that: it was to give him a better view.

And he certainly was not ashamed to look. _‘A long way from the boy who went into full catatonic mode witnessing me in my full glory; not much shorter from the boy who needed all his willpower to avoid just **staring**’_, she smiled to herself. _‘Not that he’s immune to my charm…’_ a thought appeared in her mind as she noticed his returning erection. _‘God, what about **my** journey? I kicked him in the face for seeing me nude once, and now?’_ she chuckled. _‘Now I am only getting wetter on the thought of him admiring me… God, I love to feel **desired’**_, she purred. _‘And he’s delivering on that, all right…’_

“Ready, Miss Langley?” came a question in a surprisingly soft voice.

“Yes, sir”, she felt the purring notes from the final thought seep into her voice. “Please do your worst.”

“Oh, no, Miss Langley”, he smirked. “I am going to do my _best_”, he countered with a smile as he ran the strap along her thigh; the cold leather made her shiver.

“Yess please”, she pleaded. “Sir”, she managed to add.

The strap detached from her skin – and fell before she could say anything else.

Asuka was no stranger to hits on her thighs; after all, the strap strayed sometimes, and sometimes, Shinji delivered an intentional strike there. Still, it was not a sensation she was very used to – but one she welcomed. “One! Thank you, sir!” she declared loudly. “Can I have another?”

“Your initiative is appreciated, Miss Langley”, he smiled and touched the strap a width lower.

“Two! Thank you, sir!”, she exclaimed with enthusiasm as the next one fell. “Can I have another?”

Shinji took a few steps behind her back – and touched the strap on the other leg. “You seem to enjoy yourself, Miss Langley”, he remarked – and raised the strap.

“Yes, sir!” she exclaimed with another strike. “Three! Thank you, sir, can I have another?” she gasped out.

Another strike came unexpectedly quickly; the touch, the lack of touch, the pain – it was all one.

“Four! Thank you, sir, can I – can I have another?”

“Keep your bottom steady, Miss Langley”, he _requested_. “The last one goes to the _sweet spot_”, he spoke the term in English; the remnants of Asuka’s rational mind noticed that his accent, while still far from perfect, was definitely better compared to the moment she first met him. This stray thought, of course, did not get in the way of her obeying him – and bracing herself against the backrest.

“Five!” she blurted out as the strongest blow landed on the lower part of her bottom. “Thank you, sir!” she added. “Can I – can I–” she tried to get her mind on the right track, “can I have an orgasm, sir?”

“My pleasure, Miss Langley”, he replied with a grin audible in his voice – and before she could retort, she felt his hand resting on the inside of her thigh, near her knee – and quickly sliding up, his fingers triggering the nerve endings underneath the skin.

“Sir, please–ah!”

His hand reached ‘the center of pleasure for the female body’, as she tended to humorously call it – and she let out a loud moan. “Please, sir, don’t stop”, she pleaded before realizing there was no need to: Shinji, whatever could be told about his tendency to hesitate, second-guess, and ponder, was extremely diligent once he set his mind to a task. Asuka could feel the pleasure mounting as her still-sensitive nerves became overwhelmed with his attention and pressure – pressure to which she added with her grind against his hand.

_‘God, the only way this could be better if he was **in** me’_, she realized, her rational mind able to operate only because it was thinking about sex. _‘Well, that’s the next step–’_

The train of thought got interrupted as Asuka’s started to white out on the edges; she realized she was alternatively moaning louder than before and panting with increasing intensity. A few moments later she crossed the threshold – and her moan turned into something resembling a prolonged, ecstatic howl.

Of course, this only caused Shinji to call in the reserves – and increase the tempo.

Asuka stood no chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. The whole scene was surprisingly difficult to write and avoid repetitions; I really hope this still stays on the Mature side of the Mature/Explicit division. Still, I felt this scene was a needed one, especially considering they will not get the opportunity for anything more in a while.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2021-02-24 – and we visit Asuka’s head. Again.


	34. Chapter 34

_A few minutes later_

“Thank you, sir”, she managed to whisper, her voice hoarse. She was lying in a haphazard, perfectly relaxed position on the couch; Shinji was sitting next to her, smiling at her from above.

“My pleasure”, he repeated, brushing a strand of hair away from her face; a sudden, intense smell of sex overwhelmed her senses.

_‘Of course, his dominant hand, just as good for fucking me senselessly as it is for providing the kindest gestures’_, she realized and took that hand into hers, bringing it to her lips and kissing it – slowly, methodically, giving attention to every finger separately, relishing in the smell – and the expression on his face. _‘He’s lucky I’m spent and happy… or I’d give him an obscene spectacle right here, finger by finger, until he’d be hot-and-ready again’_, she chuckled.

“What is it, Asuka?” he asked, his voice soft.

“Just a stray thought about a thing or two about your… biology”, she winked, let go of his hand, and stretched in a manner resembling a lazy cat. “Oh. Hello. Want me to take care of that before we call it a day?” she quipped, seeing Shinji’s erection making a sudden comeback at the sight.

“I’m not sure if it’s possible right now”, he replied, his voice embarrassed. “I mean, you gave me a… really, really thorough treatment.”

“Is that a complaint?” she raised her eyebrow, her voice amused.

“Hardly”, he chuckled. “It’s just… I mean, based on my experience, ‘hard’ does not mean ‘able to climax’”, he explained, his ears turning red. “And I think I abused you enough…” he paused, seeing a doubting look on the redhead’s face. “For now”, he added with a wry smile.

“Oh, rest assured, I could take far more”, she smirked. “But that brings us back to what I wanted to say before I saw your faithful companion rise his head”, she winked, eliciting a doubting look from him in turn. “And hear me out before you start questioning yourself or anything, okay?”

“Asuka?” he tilted his head.

“_Okay_?” she insisted, her voice suddenly serious.

“Of course”, he nodded, his voice matching hers.

“So, here goes. When we wrap it up here, I going to need a moment for myself”, she explained, recalling the proper term from one of the texts about aftercare she read. “I mean… this was great, and…” she paused for a second, choosing her words, “and you’re still mine, and you still get to order me to kneel or bend over”, she continued, words rattling out, “but this laughter, remember?” she paused, looking at him expectantly; he nodded in reply. “The laughter… I… I need to think something through. So, if you don’t mind… we do homework separately, and I’ll be out for the dinner. Okay?”

Shinji pondered for a moment, his expression absent. “Sure”, he finally nodded. “You can take the kitchen table if you want to.”

“Nah”, she shook her head with a smile. “I’ve got a desk, remember? You practically live in that room now, and you forgot **that**?”

“I have other subjects for my attention when I’m there, darling”, he retorted with a smile.

“Assuming you don’t mean my books, thank you”, she grinned with appreciation. “Smooth. So, a check for evidence and we part ways until dinner?”

“Okay”, he nodded and slowly got up. “Should I call you, or will you be following the smell?”

“Call if I don’t get out beforehand”, she replied with a soft smile. “Okay, nothing from me but this”, she waved a paddle in her hand. “Where’s your shirt? I don’t see it”, she took a long look around.

“Already in my room”, he explained. “One less thing to worry about.”

“Ah. Right”, she nodded and approached him as he was about to head to his room with his briefs and pants in hand. “Not so fast”, a pair of slender hands captured him as she placed a sloppy kiss on his neck. “Kiss me first.”

“As you wish”, he smiled and obliged her with enthusiasm, sinking into a soft, if certainly involved kiss. He had to say that this was his favorite kind: one of those they liked to enjoy when there was nothing to rush for any longer.

***

_A while later that evening_

Shinji emerged from the bathroom, now fully dressed in a fresh set of clothing, only to hear a sound of an SMS. “Who at this hour…” Asuka’s loud sigh followed – and after a few seconds she emerged from her room, phone in hand; he could not help to notice that she was still nude – but her expression made him focus on her face instead of that, distracting as it was.

“Misato’s set the Unit 03’s activation test date”, she told him. “And for some stupid reason, it is this Sunday instead of a school day! So much for our date”, she let out a sigh.

“Well, that we can reschedule quite easily”, Shinji replied. “Unless you want to squeeze it in somehow–”

“No way. I want to enjoy you _thoroughly_, not share time between you and some messed-up Unit”, she objected. “It could take a few hours or a whole day, anyway, so making you wait… no. So, next week. But we have a bigger problem”, she realized, her expression souring suddenly. “It’s also the day with Rei’s party in the afternoon.”

“It is”, he confirmed with dismay in his voice.

“Wonderful”, she let out another sigh as she closed the phone. “But duty comes first anyway, if we have to move the date, I’ll have to tell her to reschedule, too. Or Misato should call her, actually, this is her fault”, she added. “Or maybe I ditch the party altogether and–” she stopped, seeing an odd expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Why would you want not to go? I thought you… liked cooking with me”, Shinji inquired, his voice giving an impression he was hurt.

Asuka took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m tempted to ask you: ‘what does one have with the other’? I **do** cook with you, right? We would be doing some of it the day before, anyway, right? So we’re still doing it”, she shrugged. “I’m helping you, don’t worry, you’ll be left alone only with those that have to be perfectly fresh. But me going there… that would mean _a lot_ of awkwardness.”

“Why?” Shinji tilted his head.

“Okay, let’s make this simple”, she let out a sigh at his surprising sudden lack of social sensibility regarding this situation; she had a good idea where it was coming from though – he lacked a certain protocol that was well-drilled into her head during her military training. “Do you want me to go there? Not just help you cook, but actually go there?” she measured him with a gaze.

“Well… I don’t–” he started.

“No evasions. Yes or no?”

“Maybe? Yes? I mean… I’m not sure.”

Asuka’s palm reached her face with a loud splat. “Okay, so you really don’t know. Fine, allow me to explain to you why this is a bad idea to have me there”, she started. “First, it would be even more awkward as it was already going to be. You’re at least family with him. I’d be a stranger, your father’s subordinate military-wise, and that all would be an etiquette nightmare, trust me. I might not care that much about it, but believe me, **you** would feel like in a minefield the moment the party started and ranks would start to fly around in the awkward attempts at conversation. If there was **some** familiarity of another kind, if he actually at least **liked** you and had a warmer personality… I know you’re used to navigating this kind of minefields, but I’m not, and I’d slip at some point, and… well, the social mess would get worse”, she explained. “And I believe he would not hesitate to make use of it to make some jab at you, or make one at me to get to you, and that would make Ayanami uncomfortable… there are about two dozen scenarios how this can go wrong with me around and maybe one or two it could go _passably_”, she continued, her voice tinged with disgust. “Also, the alternative to the _party_ is _piloting_. Now… why do you say I should prefer the party?”

“Well… I see what you mean…” he agreed reluctantly. “But you’re important to me, and I’d rather have you at my side”, he countered, his voice shaking but not without conviction. “It would make things… easier.”

Asuka’s cheeks heated up; she closed her eyes. _‘Not a reply I expected. Not this way. He does have a point, though. But there’s a catch… regrettably.’_

“Fair point. I mean”, she paused, “thank you”, she added in a lower voice. “But while I’d love to stand by you in this battle, there’s a catch. There are three Pilots: you, me, and Ayanami. Four if you count that stupid bimbo, but I don’t think she has clearance to pilot anything except a scooter in Japan. I’d have to check with Misato, to be honest, but we’ll get to that when she’s sober. Misato, not the bimbo. Ayanami is **hosting** this, you’re the family, and thus, I’m the only stranger here. So… unless they miraculously find the Fifth Child or Misato suddenly trusts the four-eyed bimbo to come near any of the Units without an armed platoon as an escort, I’m the only one that has the _presence optional_ on this invitation. Which gives me the option _not_ to attend and spare you the possible mess. And moving the party because of _me_ is not exactly justified, right? Correct me if I’m wrong”, she finished, her voice insistent.

“Well, Misato can always try to reschedule the test–” he stopped as Asuka looked at him with the glare he well knew, even if he did not see it much in the recent times – the ‘what are you, stupid?’ one.

“Imagine that: Misato, or anyone, going to the Commander and saying something like ‘would you mind moving a scheduled activation test of one of the most important war machines in the history of mankind because someone wants to have dinner at this time?’. Just… imagine”, she finished, her voice more than a bit bitter. “It would be far easier to reschedule the dinner if you really want to insist on that, assuming our dear guardian acts quickly enough. And cares to act, naturally, because that’s not a given.”

Shinji’s lips were a thin line. “You’re right”, he let out a sigh. “Still… it just feels worrying. Being alone there, I mean.”

“Listen, Shinji”, she let out a sigh, cursed under her breath realizing she lacks any pockets in her current state, put her phone at the table, and grabbed his arms. “Take this, and don’t you **dare** say it’s not enough: you killed **Angels**. You killed literal **monsters**. You held **the fucking sky** with your **bare hands**. For fuck’s sake, you can face your **father** over a dinner table. An I’ll be there in the evening to hold you if this goes too badly. Or blow you if you decide it’d be a better help. Or let you do other _fun_ things to me if you feel like letting off steam in some other way”, she managed to say the last sentence with only a soft blush creeping up her face, her imagination unhelpfully providing pictures of how far she would be willing to go for such a noble cause – or with the noble cause as a convenient pretense. “Deal?”

“Thank you”, he smiled. “I’m not sure you’re right… but it’s hard to argue with you.”

“I assume it’s not just because I have the unfair advantage of being naked?” Asuka chuckled.

“Well, it is certainly a sight to behold and a distraction to keep in mind, but I was referring to your argumentation”, he replied with a smile. “But now… I think we should start our homework.”

“To be honest, homework is the last thing on my mind right now”, Asuka let out a sigh. “But yes, you’re right”, she conceded, grabbed his hand, gave it a squeeze, hauled her phone from the table – and vanished behind the door to her room.

***

To Asuka’s surprise, there was preciously little to think about; she was expecting an avalanche of fears, worries, second thoughts, and doubts to beset her the moment she was alone – but nothing came. Nothing except one voice.

_‘I told you soooo!’_ was way too cheerful and way too triumphant for her taste – but not without good reasons for that.

_‘Yeah. Did you murder the other one?’_ Asuka asked herself.

_‘Me? Murder? Never!’_ the voice declared. _‘It’s just… gone. I don’t have many reasons to go looking, right? Or do you have your doubts again?’_

Asuka chuckled. _‘Hardly. Just… He did it, didn’t he? Dealt the finishing blow to the rising hydra.’_

_‘Does this worry you?’_ the voice inquired.

_‘That’s a lot of power to have over me’_, Asuka retorted.

_‘Does this worry you?’_ the voice repeated the question.

Asuka took a long while to ponder. _‘No. It doesn’t’_, she admitted, surprised. _‘I mean… it’s him. I trust him.’_

_‘So, case solved’_, the voice replied with glee.

_‘I suppose. I never thought you’d be… helpful in that’_, Asuka admitted. _‘I was wrong.’_

_‘Thank you!’_ the reply was joyous._ ‘Now, all that is left is to set up some good way to tell him you love him, prepare some romantic arrangements, and convince him he should propose–’_

_‘Or maybe not, and I should choke you on the spot’_, Asuka hissed. _‘If you **ever** try to force that upon me, anything like that, I **will** find a way to excise you. Somehow’_, Asuka threatened.

_‘Okay, okay’_, the voice sulked. _‘But you should think how to tell him your feelings. At least that!’_

_‘I will’_, Asuka agreed. _‘Just don’t push me into it.’_

_‘The sooner the better!’_ the voice insisted.

_‘You do not command me, and you better remember that’_, Asuka let some anger creep into that thought. _‘Now, since you had your time to gloat and we have an agreement…’_

_‘Okay, okay, I’m going. Remember to kiss him tonight!’_

Asuka let out a sigh and turned her attention to the notebooks in front of her; she was tempted to go to Shinji and tell him all was right with the world – their world, at least – but she decided it would likely end up in them talking it out – and she definitely preferred to talk to him in bed, clinging to his naked–

She let out another sigh. Being a teenager with active sex life had many advantages, but it certainly forced her to repeatedly exercise her restraint, to say nothing about her willpower.

***

“Asuka?” a soft voice sounded next to her door. “Dinner’s ready, want me to bring it–”

Before Shinji could realize that the door had slid open, he was already caught in a surprisingly strong embrace of two arms around his neck and shoulders; about two seconds and a small bounce later, the two legs joined at his hip level.

“Hellooo, darling”, a wicked grin emerged just in front of his face. “Missed me?”

“Hello, Asuka”, he blurted out, struggling to maintain balance; Asuka might have been relatively light, but he was not heavily built, either. He tried to continue his reply in some coherent way, but all he managed were a few inarticulate sounds of confusion.

“I’ll take it as a ‘yes’”, she continued with her grin unchanged. “I’m fine, thanks for asking, and I missed you for all those long, long hours spent over the notebooks as I starved, both for nourishment and your presence! Now, you come to my door, bearing the news of food – and bearing the gift of your presence! My hero!” she exclaimed with emphasis – and realizing that her boyfriend’s head was approaching a very dangerous level of tilt. “What? I’m a girl, I’m allowed to be dramatic!” she giggled.

Shinji remained wordless, just conveying his distress with a pleading glare.

“All right, all right”, she chuckled and disentangled herself from him, her legs dropping to the floor. “I still demand a kiss!”

“Asuka, it was **your** idea to be apart for the afternoon”, Shinji finally found himself capable of speaking.

“Huh. Fair point”, she assumed a ponderous expression, her finger to her lips. “Okay! Then I request you accept a kiss as compensation for the absence of my wonderful person in that time!”

“That”, Shinji chuckled, “I can accept–”

His attempt to add anything was completely smothered by Asuka’s lips capturing his.

***

“Do we have a plan for Misato for today?” Shinji inquired as they were finishing their dinner.

“You know, the usual”, Asuka shrugged. “Check her general condition, feed her if necessary, and hand her at least one beer just to be sure, fixed or not depending on her condition”, she elaborated. “If she’s not on drunk autopilot already, of course, in that case just put her under the covers and make sure she has water at hand.”

“Simple enough. So, we wait for her while watching the movie?”

“Well, I’d rather do the Round Two”, Asuka wiggled her eyebrows, eliciting a blush from her boyfriend. “Or, depending on the count, Rounds Four, Five, and Six”, she added with a soft blush. “But that’s not exactly an option until she’s properly underwater. Not if we want to be reasonable.”

“Well, yes”, Shinji agreed with dismay. “So… the movie?”

“I guess so, with an option that we drop it the moment she’s asleep”, Asuka added.

“Agreed”, he nodded. “So, we have a plan.”

“Yes, we do, and there’s just one more thing to decide”, she smiled a slightly crooked smile.

“And that is?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Whether the second ambush earns me a five, or not?” she explained, looking at him expectantly.

Shinji chuckled. “Not this time, darling”, he smiled. “I just took it as an enthusiastic greeting and confirmation you’re fine.”

“Oh”, she pouted. “I’ll have to work harder for my licks, then”, she concluded with a soft, almost disdainful shrug.

“I’m sure, darling, you will have **absolutely** no problem with earning them if you put your heart to it”, Shinji remarked.

Asuka just grinned in response, eliciting another chuckle.

_‘Gods, when did we reach this level of communication?’_ Shinji mused. _‘It’s something you’d expect for an old married– stop’_, he managed to put brakes on that train of thought. _‘Let’s not rush things. First, I have to find a proper way to tell her how I feel about her… without messing it up’,_ he concluded.

***

_About half an hour later_

“Is this my impression, or is this guy going to pay dearly for this?” Shinji inquired seeing Don Corleone giving orders after being asked for a favor by a rather unwelcome guest.

“Well, he **did** show disrespect, didn’t he?” Asuka remarked. “This is more to establish the character than anything else, but–”

A beep of the door and the hiss of the pneumatics interrupted her.

“There goes the movie night, I suppose”, she chuckled. “Need me for something?”

Shinji shook his head with a smile as he got up and prepared to intercept the _JS Katsuragi_ and direct her to her port.

***

“No worr-ries, Shin-chan, I just need a – a bit of water, a toilet, and I’ll – I’ll be right to… to bed”, Misato managed to say as she stumbled into the kitchen, paused, and took a look around, finally noticing Asuka putting the movie back into the case. “I didn’t ru-ruin anything, did I?”

“Don’t worry, Misato, we are fine. We didn’t even start properly, and it was just a pastime anyway”, Shinji reassured her. “So don’t worry… it’s just Asuka is a bit… annoyed by the prospect of having to move the date”, he admitted.

“I know!” Misato grumbled. “It’s the Commander, again, he was saying something about ‘urgency’ and ‘our fault’. I have no idea why, we worked overtime for the two weeks”, she shrugged. “Don’t worry, it’s – it’s routine, you will – will have a date next Sunday”, a sudden hiccup interrupted her. “Sorry to mess it up.”

“There’s still Rei’s party”, Shinji remarked as he handed her a glass of water.

“A wha–fuck”, Misato shook her head and took a gulp. “Thank you – I… I forgot”, Misato admitted, her grumpy-but-generally-fine mood immediately soured. “I forgot that – that one. Fuck”, she shook her head again. “Sorry. I… I’ll look into that tomorrow, okay?” she said as she gulped down the rest of the water.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be fine”, Shinji smiled. “Worst case scenario, I will end up staring at my father meekly or fearfully, him staring at me awkwardly or angrily, and Rei trying her best to make us reconcile over the food she and I painstakingly made”, he quipped. “Do you need any help?”

“No, no, thank you Shin-chan”, she shook her head, giving up on processing the waterfall of words he flooded her with. “I’ve been drunk many times and never hurt myself”, she smiled a sad smile. “Just… don’t play the radio too loudly tomorrow, okay?”

“Do I ever?” he asked with a smile.

“No, you don’t”, she admitted with a sad smile. “You’re just perfect, you know?” she let out a sigh. “I don’t deserve someone like you at this home”, she sobbed – and before Shinji could react, turned away and staggered towards the bathroom.

Shinji was left in the kitchen, his expression confused; finally, he shook it off. Drunk Misato had tendencies to be sentimental – and this usually passed as she sobered up. He decided for the tried-and-tested tactics of waiting for Misato’s mind and soul to settle and asking again if needed – and turned his attention to the matter of turning the components intended for Misato’s rejected dinner into the basis of tomorrow’s bento.

***

“Are you sure you don’t want me gone today?” Shinji asked, smiling a wry smile at Asuka as she got up from the stool in front of her vanity and ran a check on her school bag. His eyes had serious problems with focusing on her face as – for reasons she did not found worth speaking of – she decided to take the brushing of her hair in the nude.

“Not in my life, Shinji-dear. I’m through. You brought the weird out of me, the depraved, the submissive – but it feels **good**. I brought something out of you, your spine for example, and that’s good for everyone” she declared. _‘Except your father, but let’s not fuck up this mood, shall we.’_

“Asuka, I–”

“Let me finish, darling. I had to do most of the research and brainwork for what we did along the way, but I think it’s fair, as I am the smart one here, right?” she smiled, teeth bared. “But you did your part pretty well, and while I had my doubts on the way, to say the least… I can give credit where it is due, and respect where it is earned. So, keep going like you are right now, I will keep going like I am now, and we will both be fine”, she finished with a smile as she dropped on the bed. “Do we have a deal?”

“We do”, he nodded with a smile.

“Okay, now, do you need a written invitation? Come here! And, if I may notice, you’re overdressed”, she gestured at her nude body with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

That was more than enough to break his reverie. “As you command, Captain”, he replied, removing his shirt and folding it carefully before setting it aside. After a few seconds of consideration, her removed his briefs as well; for some reason, it felt increasingly natural for him.

“If they don’t promote me to Major after this whole crap with Unit-03, I’ll be disappointed”, Asuka grumbled as they settled in the bed, her on her back with him against her side. “And I supposed I should push Misato to provide you with some rank, even if it’s an NCO one. That would make such exchanges less awkward, it’s stupid you don’t have a rank to call you in response.”

“I don’t care much about mine, but gods know you deserve a promotion”, he declared, placing his hand at her stomach. “And you’re already a Queen to me, anyway”, he smiled a wide smile.

“Kiss-ass. But don’t stop” she grinned as she slid down in a way that made him touch her breast. To her satisfaction, he responded with a soft caress. “Besides, what would that make you, a Royal Executioner?” she giggled. “Because the only counterpart to the queen would be the king, but it’s kind of unbecoming for a king to whip someone’s ass, right? And I steadfastly refuse introduction of anyone else between us, no matter what the purpose might be.”

Shinji chuckled. “Fair point. Well, it **is** a form of worship, right?” he pondered for a moment. “Honestly, I can’t think of a proper setting with royal titles for us, to be honest. I really like the ‘Miss Langley’ setup, though”, his smile turned into a somewhat mean grin.

“I can tell”, she shot a glare down, her eyebrows rising. Contrary to her expectations, he blushed only slightly. “And so do I, if you haven’t noticed… sir”, her skin tone matched his as she smiled an uncharacteristically demure smile. “But now, I’m tired. I want to sleep. Will you do your duty and assist your fellow pilot? This time just with an embrace and maybe a soft caress?” her smiled turned warm as she looked at him invitingly.

“As you command”, he smiled back as he settled closer to her, pulling the covers over them both. The bare skin-to-skin contact still felt wondrous and unreal to him – despite being their default state for a while now.

He could not say that the future was any less clouded – there were many, many things that weighed on his mind right now – but he could reasonably say he was ready to face them all with Asuka at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m aware that canonically the activation and the party took place on a school day, but this didn’t sit well with the narration I had in mind – and I believe that changes in Misato condition caused by unwittingly increased drinking and all the small changes caused by Asuka and Shinji’s behavior justify this minor shift in a sufficient degree.
> 
> Funfact I learned about while researching the background for the “JS Katsuragi” joke: the modern (started in 2005) Japanese attack submarines are Soryu class, a name taked from the same source as NGE!Asuka’s surname – the aircraft carrier Soryu, lost at Midway.
> 
> Now for the news…
> 
> **The good news:** the countdown to activation **finally** begins in the next chapter.
> 
> **The bad news:** I’m increasing the time between chapters from 9 days to 12 days – with the upcoming big thing, I need some more time to make it right.
> 
> The next chapter is thus planned for 2021-03-08.


	35. Chapter 35

_Friday morning; two days before the activation test_

“Shinji…” Asuka suddenly started as they entered the side alleys they preferred as their route to the bus since they realized they are pretty safe to hold hands in – to which they proceeded immediately.

“Mm?” he prompter her with a smile.

“I wanted to say ‘I could get used to waking up like this’”, she continued. “But… I think I did. Got used to it, I mean. Sleeping apart would be kind of hard now”, she admitted.

“Well… yes”, he agreed with a sheepish smile. “You’re… well. Warm”, he added.

“Dear… what did you want to say?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Am I so transparent?” he asked.

“Well, I **do** know you for a while”, she chuckled. “And you’re good at hiding what _exactly_ is bothering you, you’re not that good at hiding the bother itself. So… spill it. What was it?”

“Warm, soft, and huggable”, he admitted. “Sorry.”

She rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, you’re worried I’d interpret it as ‘fat and lazy’?”

“Well…” the sheepishness of his smile took his whole expression over.

“Forget it”, she shook her head. “Listen, because I say it only once: say something like that directly, and I will hit you, no matter what it would cost me. But until you do, or until I ask you what I mean… don’t worry, okay?”

“It’s… hard”, he countered.

“Already?” she quipped. “Well, on the other hand, it **has** been more than twelve hours…”

“Asuka!” he rolled his eyes at the crude joke.

“Tell me you didn’t expect that”, she giggled before returning to a more serious demeanor. “I’m asking you to try **not** to censor yourself. Well, at least not when we’re alone. Okay?”

“Anything for you, darling”, he smiled. “Just don’t expect me to nail it on the first try”, he stipulated.

“Well, you did yesterday”, she grinned.

“Asuka!”

A grin and a blown kiss were her only responses.

***

_A few hours later_

“Can I join you, Shikinami-san?”

“Get lost, _ruskii shpion_”, Asuka retorted, using about a third of her entire Russian vocabulary as she shot a hurrying glare towards Shinji. To his credit, despite arguing with Kensuke about something, he arrived with the box a few seconds later – just as confused Mari Makinami was still looking for an appropriate retort.

“Here you are, Asuka”, he smiled at her. “I assume you will be joining us?”

“With mixed pleasure”, she winked and stood up. “Still here, _Spitzel_?” she raised an eyebrow at her harasser.

“Shikinami-san, can we have a word?” Hikari I Do Not Like Your Attitude, Like, Ever Horaki interrupted the exchange. “In private?”

“Talk here, Class Rep, the break is too short to waste it on walks when you can eat in a mostly good company”, Asuka grumbled and gestured with the head for Shinji to go forth; she was aware she was the first one on his feeding route, but not the last; he acknowledged with a small nod.

Hikari I Try To Be Proper But Also Not To Embarrass Needlessly Horaki’s face turned displeased – but Asuka left her little choice; she could abandon her request or follow it through in public – and abandoning it would put her authority in doubt.

“You don’t have to like Makinami-san, Shikinami-san”, she started in a low voice as she approached Asuka and gave Mari an apologetic look. “But can you please treat her… fairly?”

“I **am** treating her fairly”, Asuka shrugged, ignoring the fact that the person in question was standing right next to her. “She claims to be a pilot, but I have heard nothing of it. She wants to be a friend of mine, even as I said I want to have nothing to do with her. Unless by ‘fair’ you mean ‘lie down and take the beating’, in which case, Class Rep, you’re welcome to do so, because I won’t”, she shrugged again. “Is there anything else?”

Hikari Words Cannot Express How Much I Hate You Now Horaki’s lips turned to a thin line. “No, Shikinami-san. Enjoy your lunch”, she replied in an unusually venomous voice.

“Thank you, Class Rep”, Asuka replied in an unusually courteous voice – and headed towards the desk from where Touji and Kensuke were staring in confusion, sparing only a short glance towards Shinji – who was smiling warmly – if carefully – at a certain blue-haired girl.

_‘God, this is a mess. I hope Misato will be sober enough to question when we get back’_, she let out a sigh. _‘And for Ayanami, I need to have a talk with her as well. Shinji knows the boundaries and will keep to them, but I’d rather make sure she knows them as well’_, she decided as she sat down at the table, two pairs of eyes glaring at her with her favorite mix of caution and fear. _‘At least **some** people know their place.’_

***

_Later that afternoon_

“Misato, I need some intel”, Asuka started as she handed her guardian a softly fixed can of beer. “What’s the business with the Makinami girl in our class?”

“Ah, her”, Misato nodded as she took a gulp from the can. “Ah, the right taste again. I don’t get why they make them so different from can to can, their quality control must be real crap”, she remarked off-handedly. “The Commander decided that we learned what we need from her and she’s to stay here. Under careful watch”, she explained.

“So, he just let her go and attend school?” Asuka raised an eyebrow as she dropped on one of the chairs. “Weird.”

“Well, there **was** some pressure from the UK…” Misato admitted. “They didn’t like we held one of theirs under lock and key.”

“Let me guess”, Asuka picked up. “They ‘didn’t like her being held prisoner’, we ‘didn’t like her illegal entry’, each side flexed diplomatic muscle as much as possible under the discreet circumstances, and we agreed to pretend it is fine as long as she is discreet with the spying?”

Misato let out a sigh. “We don’t know she’s a spy, but considering she’s under proper scrutiny from Section Two, so if she is…” she trailed off.

“…she won’t spy on much except the wonderful Japanese school system, not that it brings them much. Unless they want to make some headway in their torture techniques. Sounds fine to me”, Asuka shrugged. “You could’ve warned me, though, I would have a better put-down prepared. I had to **improvise**, you know.”

“Asuka… she’s not our enemy”, Misato tried to sound chastising, but for some reason, she sounded like she was not convinced herself.

“Maybe”, the girl shrugged. “But she’s certainly not my friend, no matter how she tries to be.”

“Will you at least try not to **make** her into an enemy?” Misato requested with a sigh.

“Tell her not to be the most annoying person in the school, and I will try not to see her as an enemy”, Asuka retorted.

“It’s not that she’s my subordinate”, Misato countered.

“I thought you commanded all the pilots, active **and** reserve”, Asuka probed carefully. “Unless she’s **not** a pilot after all?” she asked, her brows furrowed, her voice inquisitive. “Did she lie to me, then, atop it all?”

“It’s… complicated”, Misato admitted. “I’d rather you made peace with her on your own.”

Asuka rolled her eyes. “No promises.”

***

_Friday evening_

“How did the questioning go?” Shinji asked as he started brushing Asuka’s hair.

“Poorly”, the girl shrugged. “Misato’s evasive, the bitch’s status is muddy at best, and I’m supposed to ‘make peace’ with her. Long story short, no resolution for now”, she explained with a shrug and her displeasure clear on her face.

“Sorry to hear that”, he replied. “Do you want **me** to try to befriend her?” he offered.

“God, no”, Asuka shivered, her expression aghast. “Asking you to share the attention you could give to me with someone like this, no, no way. We’ll just bide our time. I’ll be watching her.”

“Sure, it’s your plan”, Shinji nodded in agreement. “On an unrelated note, did you tell Misato what awaits her next Sunday?”

“What do you mean, next?” she blinked in confusion. “It was supposed to be on the first– oh, right. Sunday’s not her day off”, she realized with chagrin.

“My point exactly”, Shinji confirmed. “So… you didn’t?”

“She didn’t ask, and I had other things on my mind today”, she admitted. “I’ll remind her tomorrow.”

“Just to make her suffer before the test?” Shinji chuckled.

“Oh come on, she consented”, Asuka retorted. “And it’s not that I’m going to stand over her with a whip to correct her every time she missteps.”

“Does the fact that you consent to have your bottom turned black and blue make it hurt _any_ less?” he countered.

“Fair point”, she admitted with a small blush. “But it certainly makes the pain more _bearable_, and definitely _enjoyable_”, she admitted. “Yes, I know it is not the same. Oh well, still, she consented and while, as said, I’m not whipping her for her mistakes, she’s not getting away with doing it _right_.”

“I would never dare to suggest you showing mercy towards her”, Shinji stated.

“You surely changed, darling”, Asuka suddenly remarked, her lips curling into a mean smile. “Keep it up.”

“Did I?” he wondered as he moved up the hair length. “I feel the same. Maybe a bit bolder, that’s all.”

“Trust me”, she smirked. “I can’t **imagine** you those few months ago ordering me to _strip and assume the position_ in a way that makes me obey immediately.”

“Asuka…” Shinji pleaded, his blush growing. “You know you had your part in it? A big one?”

“Oh, surely”, her smirk slowly turned into a grin. “But it was **you** who changed. And I **like** that change.”

“Anything for you, darling”, he retorted. “As long as you’re happy, I am happy as well.”

“I like your thinking”, her grin widened. “Just… remember your role.”

“Make you happy and make sure you don’t murder everyone?” Shinji quipped, his eyebrow raised.

“Close”, Asuka giggled. “I leave the order of those to you. And… Shinji…”

“Yes?” he paused his brushing.

“You don’t have to be _so_ thorough”, she spoke in a somehow scolding voice. “It’s pleasant and all, but I’d rather cuddle now.”

“As you wish”, he smiled, made a few finishing moves, and put the brush down. “Any further wishes, my Queen?” he bowed his head.

“Well, as a proper ass-whipping is out of the question for now”, her expression turned sour for a second, “undress me, undress yourself, and let’s go to bed.”

“Aside from the obvious, darling”, Shinji chuckled.

“Well, if it’s so obvious, then why am I still dressed?” she asked with her eyebrows raised high.

Shinji could find no appropriate reaction to that – except the obvious one, one he immediately implemented to Asuka’s full satisfaction.

***

_Saturday; one day before the activation test_

“Shinji, do me a favor”, Asuka requested as they entered the school.

“Sure, what is it?” he agreed. “No, let me guess – distract you from Makinami?”

“Almost”, she chuckled in response. “If you see her approach at any moment, be around to stop me from bashing her brains in?”

“By all means”, he agreed, his voice just a little bit worried.

***

_Saturday early afternoon_

“Hi, Shikinami-san”, a dreadfully familiar voice sounded next to Asuka the moment she got up and turned to join Shinji and his dumb buddies at their table. “Can we talk?”

“God, Makinami, you’re really a persistent bugger”, Asuka grumbled out as she felt her muscles tense. Her only grace was the sight in the corner of her eye – Shinji was approaching. _‘Not the kind of “damsel in distress” rescue you’d expect, but hey, it’s a rescue!’ a_ part of her mind chimed in with amusement, surprisingly improving her mood. “What do you want?” she followed with a slightly less annoyed voice.

“I’m sorry”, the girl let out a sigh. “Hikari explained a thing or two and… I understand now.”

“God, now I’ll be wondering what she told you”, Asuka rolled her eyes. “But as long as it means you’ll stop bothering me and take a civilized route to becoming colleagues and _maybe_ friends, I can live with the dirt she likely heaper over me.”

“So… friends?” Mari’s solemn expression turned into a wide smile.

“Did you even **listen** to me, bubblehead?” Asuka let out a sigh. “Clearly not. No, we’re not friends, and if you don’t stop bothering me like this and eating into my lunchtime when I’m _hungry_, we will never be. Unless your definition of ‘friends’ involves being beaten up. Being less of a bother is enough for me to be _nicer_, but… oh, fuck that, why do I bother”, she shook her head and stepped past Mari. “Thanks, Shinji”, she took the bento box out of his hand, ignoring Mari’s surprised and confused expression. “Hurry up, please, I can tolerate your friends for only a bit longer than… her”, she shot a vile glare in Mari’s general direction.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

***

_Later that afternoon_

“She was nicer, but let me guess–” Shinji started on their way home.

“–not nice enough”, Asuka finished for him. “She’s like ‘people exist to be friends with me!’ and ‘how can you refuse a friendship!’”_,_ she let out an annoyed sigh. “I know it works for some… just not for me. She did enough for me not to murder her or frame her for drug dealing, but definitely not enough to be _friends_.”

“Drug dealing?” Shinji chuckled.

“A minor exaggeration, don’t worry, I’m not going to start building an organized crime syndicate in school, I don’t care about this place enough”, she shrugged again. “It’s just… I keep wondering whether she’s just that dumb to think this would work, or she’s actually running some recruitment operation.”

“Why would anyone do that?” Shinji asked, his voice confused.

“We’re strategic assets for NERV, and while they keep us in dark a lot and feed us bullshit at most times, we still know a lot more than your average NERV employee, let alone an average dweller of Tokyo-3”, Asuka explained.

“If so, then she’s not subtle about it”, Shinji remarked.

“My point exactly. Come on, fuck that bitch”, Asuka blurted out dismissively. “School’s over for the week, I’m here with my boyfriend, and I get to pilot tomorrow. I’m not going to let some bimbo ruin my mood anymore. Let’s get some ice cream!”

“You’ll hear no objection from me, darling”, Shinji chuckled, his smile wide.

“I dearly hope so”, she squeezed his hand as she pulled him in the general direction of the closest café.

***

_Saturday afternoon_

“We’re home!”

“Oh, hi, I was wondering whether you strayed for some movie again”, Misato welcomed them.

“We’re not _that_ late, Misato”, Shinji objected. “We stopped for groceries”, he pointed to his shopping bag. Asuka just smiled at his _technically correct_ statement.

“That reminds me”, she interrupted, her finger raised. “How was your visit to the library? And how is your kimono, Asuka?” she smiled a wry smile.

Asuka’s grin momentarily told her something was wrong. This was confirmed a few seconds later as Asuka opened her school bag and triumphantly put a photocopied page in front of Misato. “Sorry, Colonel, it seems you’re going to be leading tomorrow’s test as a prim and proper lady”, the redhead grinned.

“Not so fast, Captain”, the older woman objected, trying her best to hide a sour face. “First, it was ‘on the first day off’, and tomorrow hardly counts”, she stated firmly.

“Fair point”, Asuka conceded. “Still–”

“Second”, Misato interrupted her as she scanned the text with her eyes, “this clearly says it’s a _parody_, and not something _canonical._ I’d say it doesn’t count”, she declared.

“Hold on, you’re not getting out of it”, Asuka hissed. “Parody, yes. Non-canon, possibly. But it is still a proper _movie_, and it is still a _Bond_ movie. It’s like saying that _The Curse of Fatal Death_ is not a _Doctor Who_ episode!”

“A… what?” Misato tilted her head.

“Never mind”, Asuka shook it off, clearly disgusted by her guardian’s lack of education. “You need about as many lessons in intricacies of pop-culture as Shinji. It’s like saying… it’s like saying _secant_ is not a trigonometric function only because it is not as commonly used as the _sine_. But it is still valid.”

“You’re grasping at straws, Asuka”, Misato narrowed her eyes, her voice annoyed.

“No, Misato, **you are**”, the redhead retorted. “I don’t recall any of us stipulating ‘indisputably canon and dead serious Bond movie’, do you? If this was a _fan-made parody_, or a _TV film_, I would agree this is a bit of a stretch. But come on, this is a Bond movie titled _Casino Royale_, and this was what the bet was about!” she rattled out on one breath.

Misato gave her a death glare. “You _knew_ that, didn’t you? When we made the wager?”

“Well, of course I did”, Asuka shrugged. “Just as you ‘knew’ there was none. I was, like, ninety percent sure. So I put my dignity on the line because I _trusted my memory_. And I was _right_. Now, if you want to reject it all and tell me to go fuck myself, sure, go ahead, but this will change nothing”, she elaborated with a not-so-subtle subtext _‘except the level of respect I have for you and your word’_ remaining unstated.

Shinji was watching the whole exchange from the kitchen as he unloaded the groceries and started his work on the dinner. He did not expect Misato to take her loss lying down, but he did not anticipate her lawyering around so much; apparently, the stakes were higher than he realized. In hindsight, this actually made sense: while for him, the behavior would be just a small step from his usual demeanor, it was quite the opposite for either of the women: the Yamato Nadeshiko archetype was the antithesis of their nature.

“Fine!” Misato grumbled as she downed the beer. “I’ll do it. Just don’t be too smug about it, okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry”, Asuka retorted with a smug smile. “I will treat you with all the respect a prim and proper lady deserves.”

“Yeah, I see that already…” Misato rolled her eyes.

***

_Later that evening_

“You were quite harsh to Misato today”, Shinji remarked as he picked up the brush.

“I was being _firm_, Shinji-dear. There was nothing _harsh_ about it”, Asuka shrugged, pondered for a moment, and pulled the t-shirt over her head before taking a seat on the stool before the vanity.

“You really don’t like me focused when I do that, do you?” the boy chuckled, not even trying to hide the fact that he was feasting his eyes at the sight before him.

“I like you _attentive to me_”, she retorted. “And right now, I’m quite sure you are”, she smirked.

“Oh yes”, he confirmed, his smile growing as his fingers rested at the base of her spine and slowly moved up, caressing her skin before reaching her neck and collecting her hair. She moaned as a shiver followed the path his hand took.

“God, Shinji”, she whispered. “Do you want me to throw you on the bed right now and use and abuse you until I come at least twice?” she asked with her eyebrows raised. “Because _this_ is a _surefire_ way to reach _just_ that.”

“Well, it’s a perspective I would certainly enjoy”, he agreed in an amused whisper as he brushed the endings of her red mane. “But the circumstances are… unfavorable.”

“To say the least”, Asuka agreed with dismay. “So, no matter how pleasant that is, unless you want me insanely frustrated today and tomorrow, don’t.”

“But can I _kiss_ you, at the very least?” he checked carefully.

“Kiss, hug, and take care of me, yes, by all means”, she confirmed, her voice sincere. “But I believe you can very well tell by now what’s a gesture of affection, and what’s a ticket to Fuck Town.”

“Asuka…” he chuckled.

“What?” she shrugged. “I sure hope you’ll unleash a _barrage_ of those once I’m done with tomorrow’s crap. And I’m actually wondering how _being bloody horny_ would affect my synch rate, so we can give it a test later”, she mused, “but definitely not tomorrow.”

“On a synch test, perhaps?” Shinji suggested.

“Yeah, likely”, she agreed. “And with a plan to have it relieved afterward if you don’t want to have to attend my trial for murder.”

“You’re being dramatic”, he replied in an amused voice, his eyebrows raised.

“Perhaps. But I don’t hear you object”, she remarked.

“Darling… why would I object to your pleasure?” he asked matter-of-factly.

“I suppose only to make it better a while later”, she agreed. “Okay, an idea for later. And about ‘later’… from the amount of shopping and the prep we did today, I assume the party’s still up tomorrow?”

“Yes”, Shinji nodded. “Either Misato forgot to reschedule, or something else happened, but we’re doing it tomorrow. Most likely it’s Rei, father, and me only”, he stated, his voice dismayed.

“You’ll survive”, she reassured him. “And I’ll be there for you later.”

“Thank you, darling”, he smiled.

“My pleasure. And yours”, she wiggled her eyebrows.

And this was the final straw that made Shinji’s soft blush erupt properly.

***

_Sunday; the day of the activation test_

Asuka glared out of the window impassively as the Misato-driven car slowly covered the distance to Matsushiro. She was quite sure the Colonel would prefer to drive faster, but she was also responsible for piloting the truck with the final supplies – and the truck certainly could not reach the speeds Misato was used to.

“I thought you’d be more excited, Asuka”, Misato remarked. “It’s your chance to return from the reserve.”

“It’s not the same”, Asuka retorted, her voice absent as she watched the road ahead. “It’s some weird Unit I have no connection to. And you won’t even let me wreck it to haul my beloved Unit-02 from epoxy.”

“Unit-03 is more advanced”, Misato countered.

“Yeah, I know”, Asuka’s voice remained unchanged. “Mazda made a dozen models between this Cosmo’s premiere and today, why are you still driving this old thing?”

“…okay, I get your point”, Misato conceded. “Consider this a steppingstone then?”

“I do. I’m just not enthusiastic about it”, Asuka kept glaring out of the window.

There was a moment of just slightly awkward silence between them before Asuka’s phone rang.

“You have one new voice message” sounded as she picked up. “This is the first voice message” was followed by a beep – and Doctor Akagi’s voice: “Okay, Rei. You can speak now” – which in turn, was followed by a long silence.

Asuka frowned, her expression confused. She was about to disconnect when a soft “Thank you” came in the voice of Rei Ayanami – followed by a “please return safely” and the mechanical voice announcing that this was the end of the first message.

“She’s a doll, all right”, Asuka let out a sigh. “But she’s not all that bad, I guess. Just… doesn’t get why I do this”, she remarked. “If by some chance I don’t wreck that stupid Eva and I won’t be able to return to my own, will you paint it red for me?”

Misato just smiled.

***

“Doctor, is this really necessary?” Asuka asked as she removed her clothing in an impromptu med office. “This does not feel very _private_”, she complained.

“Don’t worry, nobody is entering without me shooting them”, the older woman smiled at Asuka. “It may look improvised, but believe me, those are pre-Impact military pre-fabs, they’re pretty solid. And you knew I was going to need a full physical before the test, didn’t you?”

“Yes, yes”, Asuka let out a sigh. “Please continue so I can get into the plug and get this over with.”

“So eager to pilot?” Akagi asked as she picked up her stethoscope. “Breathe.”

“As if you didn’t know me”, Asuka retorted before drawing several long, deep breaths.

“Fair point”, she conceded. “Open up”, she requested and shone a light in Asuka’s mouth. “Hm, I didn’t know you liked lollipops.”

“Waat?” Asuka asked, her mouth still wide open. “Who doesn’t?” she asked carefully with confusion in her voice when the doctor turned her attention away from her mouth and proceeded with checking the lymph nodes around her jaw. “Why?”

“You’ve got some minor bruising on the roof of your mouth”, the doctor explained. “Nothing to worry about, just don’t suck too hard on them unless you want a dentist to ask you odd questions later, okay?”

“Okay”, Asuka shrugged.

About five seconds later her ears turned red in an instant – and she blessed the fact that the doctor’s attention was focused elsewhere at the moment. _‘Lollipops, my ass’_, she realized what was the actual reason. _‘Fuck. Had I known… God, is there no safe activity you can do before a physical?!’_ she pondered. _‘I’m glad this examination does not include a full gyno… at least I hope it does not’_, she shivered.

“I know it’s cold, Asuka, it won’t take much longer”, the doctor reassured her as she methodically checked spots on her body.

“You can dress now”, she declared a few minutes later. “Now, a few more questions… she picked up a notepad. You’ve got an implant, so we can skip the ‘period’ part, I suppose – unless you had some?”

“None”, Asuka replied as she was fastening her buttons. “Not since it started working.”

“Good. So, I can also safely assume you’re not pregnant”, she marked a few more fields.

“Well, unless I missed Archangel Gabriel’s visit, affirmative, I’m not”, Asuka replied, trying to cram as much amusement in that statement as possible; she was not sure how it worked, though.

“We’re not concerned with cases of divine intervention, Asuka”, the doctor retorted. “Any indigestion, gastric issues?”

“Nothing significant”, Asuka replied – and repeated this answer, in several variants, over the next half an hour until Doctor Akagi finally nodded, punched something into her mobile terminal, and told her to proceed to the isolation chamber to await Misato’s orders.

***

Shinji Ikari was doing his best to distract himself from the situation he was in. Asuka had reassured him over and over again that this was a routine thing, a test she could sleepwalk through – but this did not put him at ease. He knew all too well – just as she did – that Evangelions are anything but routine. On the other hand, she was the most competent pilot among them all, and the whole thing was being overseen by Misato with Doctor Akagi heading the science part – so the best people were at it. His presence there would have changed nothing – or, actually, made things worse, as he would be another factor to take care of in case something went wrong. His place was here – to welcome Asuka and Misato back home.

Of course, knowing that on a rational level and internalizing it in order to stop worrying were two completely different things. And thus, unable to stop worrying, he did the next best thing – he focused on what he knew. Currently, three dishes were in the process of cooking or baking – and his hands were busy preparing ingredients for the last one. It was indeed helping – for now.

***

“Checks for the Provisional Ground Cage and the Restraint Systems are complete”, the voice of the technician announced over the main comm system of Matsushiro base. Other various messages mixed with it; Colonel Misato Katsuragi was listening in, wary of anything that would indicate trouble.

There was nothing. The operation was proceeding with textbook precision.

“Entry plug has been fixed in entry position”, another message went by.

“Checklist clear through 1350. No problems”, came another confirmation.

“Roger. Begin countdown”, Colonel ordered.

“Begin countdown”, a confirming repetition came in. “All ground crews are to evacuate. Medical examinations of test pilot complete. The pilot is currently on standby in the mobile isolation room.”

“Looks like I can leave the rest to Ritsuko now”, Colonel Katsuragi remarked to herself with a sigh of relief as she sat down at one of the few unused chairs.

***

Asuka, having blurred the walls of the isolation room and liberated herself from the confines of her clothing, fished her phone from her bag and found Shinji on the contact list. She was, of course, aware that the operation was a secret one – as everything in NERV was – but she assumed that talking to a fellow pilot was not going to be much of a security breach. At least as long as she kept to the subjects that were more of interest to him than piloting.

“Hello, darling”, she chirped into the phone, put it on the loudspeaker, and deposited it on the small table. “I thought I would bother you for a bit. Got some time?”

“As if you needed to ask…” he chuckled. “Let me just… ready for your bothering”, his voice changed a bit, suggesting he mirrored her actions.

“So, how is it going in the kitchen department?” Asuka prodded, trying her best to sound relaxed.

“Pretty fine, just finishing the salad, everything else is on the stove or in the oven”, he reported. “Getting bored, darling?”

***

A suddenly blinking small light caught Misato’s attention. It took her just a moment to identify it as the IMSI catcher routinely set up to ensure the secrecy of the operation – the equipment was intercepting all cell phone communication, effectively taking over from the neighboring Base Transceiver Station. _‘Non-essential personnel was supposed to evacuate, and essential personnel should be busy right now… who could it be?’_ she reached for the attached headset, selected the ‘listen’ option from the only call on the list – and heard a familiar voice.

“–or in the oven. Getting bored, darling?”

Misato suddenly felt a cold ball growing inside her stomach.

***

“Hardly _bored_, I just wanted to hear your voice, don’t tell me it’s a sin now in your book”, she asked, her voice doubtful. “And I guess I just needed my spirits lifted”, she admitted.

“That I can do”, he replied, smile in his voice. “Even if all we can do is just talk. But risking falling into a cliché, I’d say it is not a sin, but it surely leads you to temptation”, he retorted.

“Perhaps. Indeed, if we’re talking sin, your _voice_ plays a great role in it”, she purred. “And talking temptation… I’m just putting the plugsuit on, and I must say some rightful perv has designed it”, she took a disapproving look at the amount of transparent surface around her upper body. “I guess it’s justified with all the sensor mesh, but really…” she rolled her eyes. “You would’ve liked it, though.”

“I prefer you in your uniform, Miss…” he trailed off. “No, bad idea”, he corrected himself apologetically.

“Not **so** bad, dear. I’m too nervous to fly off in any other direction. To a reasonable degree, of course, remember to leave some food for me, because if I come back home and there’s nothing to eat–”

“–there’s going to be blood?” he finished for her.

“Damn right”, she confirmed. “No matter the consequences.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got everything planned”, he reassured her. “Just… get home safely, and you’ll be fed and taken care of.”

“And that’s what I wanted to hear”, Asuka grinned as she wove the test-level connector into her hair. “Any details you want to share?” she asked seductively.

“What about ‘being too nervous’–”

“I’m willing to try”, she grinned. “Distract me.”

“With pleasure.”

***

_‘Fuck’_ was the realization that sounded in Colonel’s mind. She knew she was supposed to disconnect immediately, as dictated by the basic courtesy and respect for privacy. Those two were cleared enough to talk in this situation, and while Shinji was not privy to details of the operation, they were not discussing the operation – but their private lives.

And that was exactly why the morbid curiosity – and an odd sense of duty – did not allow Misato to disconnect. _‘This is not her being mocking’_, she realized as she kept listening to the exchange._ ‘This is not a sarcastic “dear” or venomous “darling”, this is not “just talking”. They’re not just “lifting the spirits”. That’s the banter between people who know each other’_, the pieces started to fall into place._ ‘Know each other well. Intimately. This is…’_

Suddenly, it all made sense. The aggression that was surprisingly devoid of cruelty. The lack of violence and the quick reconciliations. The definitely-not-dates movie nights. The growing sense of self-value in Shinji. The mellowing of Asuka. The improving grades. The far too easy date setup. The genuine laughter. The sudden moments of silence. All the odd looks shared between the two–

_‘Fuck’, _she cursed again. _‘I was blind, I was stupid, I am an idiot, not a guardian. They share a bond. They are **together**. Perhaps even in love. Likely sleeping with– likely having sex. God. No. I… I have to confront them after this is done. Fuck. This is going to be one nasty a talk…’_ she realized with dismay, her mind racing. ‘_How do I even **approach** it? How do I say that I **know**? I can’t tell them I listened, even if it was an accident!’_

Another line of thought appeared in her mind.

_‘Wait. And what if they are? They are kids, yes, and this may be a huge problem in battle, yes, but aside from that… they didn’t neglect any duties, their grades **did** get better… and I’m quite sure Asuka’s on some hormones, so kids won’t have kids…’_ a line of defense formed. _‘And by God, they do deserve **something** good in their lives…’_

The third line of reasoning emerged, tinged in the venomous green of envy. _‘Yeah… I wish I had this in their age, though… how did they manage that?! They were sworn enemies in the beginning! They were an inch from killing each other! Well, from her killing him…’_

Misato shook her head. There was going to be time to think of it afterward. Right now, the countdown to activation continued: they were connecting the first stage. An idea to stop the activation and confront them here and now was quickly squashed: there was simply no way she would be able to explain it to the Commander, or anyone else, without revealing her conclusions – and while she was quite sure of them, she did not have any evidence. Not to mention, their relationship, if it was true, should not have that much of an influence on this test in general.

“…and I can’t wait to have you employ your tongue–”

Misato tore the headset from her head, her face blushing viciously. Those two were like children to her – and learning about your children’s sex life was likely only a notch less traumatic than learning the same thing about your parents.

_‘While “The Talk” can wait, I must certainly give her a word or two on operational security, thought. Not thinking there might be a catcher here…’_ she shook her head and quickly tapped an authorization code, confirming the removal of the call from the catcher’s logs. It was her thing to deal with; Section 2 did not need to know, did not need to poke and prod into the most personal aspect of her kids’ lives. _‘First, see this to its end… and then work it through. One crisis at a time’_, she decided and refocused on the progress, breaking off from it only to acknowledge the appearance of Ritsuko Akagi.

“Let the pilot into the Plug”, the doctor ordered, setting off the next stage of the operation.

***

_A few minutes later_

“Start entry”, a command came.

Asuka, comfortable in the Entry Plug, barely felt the jolt: LCL was providing great amortization, as always. The incoming reports were background noise in the comm channels: “Ionizing LCL”, “Pressure is at normal levels”, “First excitation state is being maintained”, “No problem with the plug sensor”, “…within error ranges…” – all this was a familiar music Asuka knew too well from her early tests with Unit-02. She started to tune them all out, focusing on the familiar sensation of the controls in her hands, the pressure of LCL on her whole body, the anticipation of contact with the Unit…

_‘I missed this. I suppose the evening will be even better, knowing his talents… but this isn’t half bad’_, a soft smile emerged on her face. _‘Perhaps Unit-03 and I will agree to work toge–’_

Sudden change in her perceptions captured her attention. _‘What the–’_

The clear image of the outside of Unit-03, a normal sight once Phase 2 was reached, was being rapidly replaced by a surreal, indescribable, semi-uniform space full of strange noises, shapes, voices, smells, sounds, and tastes.

The familiar sensations: the pilot seat underneath her, her hands on the controls, the hum of the interface in her head – all were gone in an instant. Asuka started to feel like she was losing her footing; the firm grasp of things was suddenly replaced by a sensation of falling – in all directions at once. A panicked feeling starting to rise in her stomach, the surrounding space becoming louder, more intense, assaulting.

_‘So much for a “simple test”’,_ she realized. _‘Shinji’s not going to be happy with that’_ was the final thought before the sensation of the fall started to become overwhelming.

Outside, the eyes of Unit-03 lit up and its jaw opened with a sickening crack.

***

Panicked reports flooded the provisional command center; Colonel Katsuragi and Doctor Akagi were in the middle in the growing chaos. Abort commands were sent the moment the Colonel gave the order – but no command could take hold.

The armor of Unit-03 cracked with a squelching sound, exposing a blue, glowing substance underneath; the muscles of the Evangelion strained – and the restraints of the temporary Cage came off as if they were made of twigs. The walls of its confinement flew apart a few moments later, the reports abruptly stopping as the surface facilities were blown away and the command center shook from the shockwave.

A hunched silhouette emerged from the wreckage as if nothing happened, leaving the ruined base behind and heading directly towards Tokyo-3.

***

“An incident at Matsushiro?” Shinji’s voice was anything but calm; the phone call surprised him as he was getting the final groceries.

“Yes, pilot Ikari. Stand by, we’re heading to pick you up”, the Section 2 operative’s voice on the other side of the phone was professional and calm, if obviously tense.

“But… is this an Angel?” Shinji protested. “What happened? What about the people there?”

“Unknown. The procedure requires pilots to be assembled at NERV”, the voice continued. “You’ll be briefed there as the Tactical sees fit. We’ll be at your position in less than a minute.”

“Understood”, he replied, his voice dejected, only one thing on his mind.

_‘Asuka!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2021-03-20.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is on the gory side. Even if most blood here is not human, it is far more violent (on the canon level) and mindfucking (on the original series level) than anything you read so far in this story. Caveat lector.

_‘Something went wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong’_, a realization of the obvious was ringing in Asuka’s head over and over again. _‘Okay, let’s stop being Captain Obvious and look for solutions’_, she managed to shake the initial panic off. She was likely in danger, but not to a degree that would warrant immediate action. _‘What is happening? Is this interface malfunction? No, it is far, far too extensive for that’_ she tried to collect some observations – and her thoughts – despite the rising noise in her surroundings and the unending feeling of constantly falling to her death.

She experienced malfunctions as she was working with Unit-02 during its construction; they felt similar, even if they were far, far less intense – and usually caused the whole thing to go dark instead of ‘twenty colors I cannot even name’. She took a deep breath ignoring for the moment the definitely changed smell of LCL – and focused, trying to interact with the Unit’s controls.

There were none.

_‘Okay. Emergency mode time’_, she decided and tried to send an abort signal, focusing on the mental nexus she knew every Unit had to have. She managed to do this several times in Unit-02; it always made her dizzy when she tried, but the alternative was already worse. She focused on the spot it should be in, and–

Seeing stars and experiencing piercing pain between her eyes was not what she expected; she felt as if she was punched in her face. The dizziness-inducing buzz that was normally coming from that place was now replaced with a horrific screech, a dissonant sound worse than anything she ever heard, an almost physical wall of painful sound, pushing her away, assaulting her, making her skin crawl.

_‘What the fuck?’_ she wiped her face and shook the sensation off. _‘What **is** this thing? Or, rather, what happened to it? It felt **normal** a moment ago!’_ she complained to nobody in particular.

A childish giggle sounded in the cacophony of chaotic sounds, making Asuka shiver; she clenched her jaw, trying her best to ignore the sound and the resulting unease. It was rapidly becoming obvious that nothing here could be trusted. _‘If in the normal mode, I’d be seeing the outside. If this was pre-activation, I’d be seeing the walls. What I’m seeing is some abomination, a horrible distortion, a messy glitch at best. Nothing is real’_, she reassured herself as she reflexively narrowed her eyes at the chaotic shapes, her brain trying to match the patterns in the randomness in front of her eyes. The rational part of her was telling her that it would be the best to close her eyes, cover her ears, and try to filter out as much of the cacophony as possible – but the irrational yet persistent thought that there could be things in there that would reach or even strike her stopped her from doing the rational thing.

She took another deep breath, only to immediately regret that; the changes in LCL clearly progressed in those few… minutes? Seconds? She was used to the taste, to the texture, to the viscosity, even to the odd feeling in her chest the LCL gave her when she breathed it in. But now, it served as yet another conduit of the _weird_, carrying not the familiar blood-like smells and tastes – but a taste of cocoa mixed with the taste of knife on her tongue, the taste of fresh fries mixed with the taste of disappointment and regret, a smell of mountain air mixed with a smell of a hip-hop song.

She stopped herself from taking another deep breath. The associations sounded absurd to her, still, her brain was making them, nonetheless. _‘If everything we know about the world comes from our senses, then how can we know that anything except us is real?’_ she recounted a question she heard in Philosophy class, the name of the school of thought that asked it eluding her for the moment. _‘Whatever happened to this Eva, whatever is controlling the Plug, whatever is affecting me – it has control of the surroundings. Doctor Akagi is going to get **proper** feedback after that… if I get out of this with my sanity intact, otherwise she’s getting a long, long rant full of insane ramblings.’_

She refocused, stifling yet another deep breath – and tried to reach the other mental spots she was familiar with from her endless times with Unit-02, spots that were good for impromptu diagnoses, for soft restarts, for making sudden and unexpected movements–

***

_Meanwhile in the NERV HQ_

“Unknown mobile object detected south-west of the blast site”, Hyuga reported, interrupting the stream of generic reports from the blast site. “Pattern orange. Unable to confirm whether it is an Angel.”

“Battle Stations One”, came an order from Commander Ikari as his station emerged from the floor at the back of the command center.

“Ikari?” Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki shot his superior a confused glare.

“All personnel, Battle Stations One”, the Commander repeated, his voice unwavering. “Place the damaged Unit-00 on standby. Fit Unit-01 with the Dummy Plug and send it out immediately.”

***

“Ready, heading to Unit-01”, Shinji reported at the inquiry from the command as he sealed his plugsuit. “I’ll be there in a moment”, he added before releasing the transmission button.

“Ikari-kun”, he suddenly heard a soft voice from behind him.

“Ayanami-san”, Shinji turned towards the source of the voice. “I mean… this is a boy’s changing room…” he spoke in an uncertain voice as his face turned red.

“Yes”, she confirmed. “This is why I came here. For you.”

Shinji let out a sigh; he was somewhat aware Ayanami suffered from some confusion regarding privacy, it was something that he felt he should talk to her about… but definitely not now. “Um… You’re not deploying?” he tried.

“I am not. Unit-00 is too damaged and will be deployed only if you fail”, she explained, her voice calm.

“I… I see”, he nodded, his stomach twisting. _‘If you fail. Right. It most likely means “when you’re dead”. Who ordered it done this way?’_ he wondered for a short second_. ‘Never mind now’_, he shook the thought off. “You should still change.”

“I will change when ordered to”, she countered. “You should go. And… please, come back”, her tone suddenly betrayed far more emotion. “And please… bring her back if she is still alive.”

Shinji’s stomach twisted again as his whole body shook at the thought of an unwelcome, but a quite real possibility. Rei took a few quick steps and enclosed him in a very stiff, very awkward, but also very strong hug. “Good luck”, she whispered before releasing him and walking away at an unusually quick pace.

_‘What… I mean…’_ his thought raced.

“Pilot Ikari, Unit-01 stands ready! Please hurry!” an almost-pleading voice came from the command center.

_‘Damn. Later_’, he concluded before rushing down the narrow corridor towards the Cages.

***

_Inside ex-Unit-03_

Two violently interrupted attempts at reaching _some_ mental nexus later Asuka felt in a manner she could only compare to Eva falling flat on its face while in full synchronization. _‘What in the actual fuck did they do to this… thing?’_ she wondered, rubbing her face again; her hands were becoming increasingly itchy, her eyes hurt. _‘God, I don’t know if something is getting into my head or I’m going nuts in this sensory deprivation chamber… I always felt good in Entry Plugs, damn it!’_

The giggling sound returned, louder and this time, coming from behind her – as much as she could tell the directions, directions that were becoming increasingly meaningless in this not-space.

_‘Okay, I **am** going nuts, or there’s really something inside… around… fuck, give me a Philosophy major to discuss it with, a psychologist, or at least a MetBiol scientist!’_ she growled internally, feeling her anger rise with every second. _‘Or someone to smack those thoughts out of my head, that’d work too…’_

Asuka narrowed her eyes again; either something resembling a face was forming in front of her, or her brain finally decided to give her something vaguely humanoid to yell at. _‘If this is the works of my brain, I’m going to have to file a complaint. It looks like someone decided to tear off skin and muscle from a skull without much regard to the integrity of either and then… reconfigured it into a big… face… kind of a face’_, she realized with a nauseating ball of disgust forming in her stomach.

The mean giggling sounded again, this time from both above and below, as much as those directions could be called so. She balled her fists. “What do you want?!” she yelled into the disturbance, her voice carrying surprisingly well in LCL.

“Scre**am**, **do**ll”, the cacophony formed in understandable, if distorted words – and the face contorted in something resembling a grin.

The nausea ball in Asuka’s stomach turned into a twisted knot and went up almost to her throat. _‘**Not** the works of my brain… unless I’ve gone off the deep end already.’_

She stopped herself from taking yet another deep breath; that would likely worsen the situation. She narrowed her eyes at the ‘face’ and asked: “What are you?”

“Y**our** l**if**e, **no**w”, the cacophony altered in words. “Y**o**u w**ill** **he**lp **me** **under**st**and**.”

“Fuck you”, she snarled. “Let me go!”

“Com**ply**, or suf**fer**”, came a distorted reply – along with a sensation of heat that suddenly appeared in the middle of Asuka’s chest, spreading slowly.

_‘Suffer **what**? A mildly annoying heatwave?’_ she asked herself, confused.

“S**pea**k. S**cream**. Exp**lain**”, the cacophony demanded, the words continuing to fall in odd cadences.

“You didn’t ask any questions”, Asuka remarked matter-of-factly.

“**Quest**ions **a**re irrele**van**t”, came the distorted reply. “**As**s**is**t, or suf**fer**.”

“Listen, you–” Asuka paused, unsure how to address a macabre mockery of a human face speaking in broken words formed by a chorus of dissonant voices. “Whatever you _are_, even if I _wanted_ to help you, I can’t if you don’t know what you _need_. Let me go, and we can talk… normally”, she tried, pondering if adding ‘like people’ would make any sense in regard to the thing she was talking to. “Besides, _someone_ will come for me sooner or later”, an image of Shinji on a white horse, coming with a sword to cut the Entry Plug open and release her, flashed in her mind; she chuckled at that.

“I s**e**e y**o**u ex**pec**t it”, the cacophonic chorus noticed, the fading-in-and-fading-out face contorted in a grin. “W**ho** **i**s **i**t?”

_‘Fuck’_, Asuka realized. _‘Of course, there’s still a neural connection. This… heat didn’t come out of nothing. Stupid me. What if it understands how to–**stop**’_, she caught herself.

“S**how** me”, the chorus demanded.

“Fuck you”, Asuka snarled, her heart racing, her anger rising; she was not exactly _trained_ to deal with this kind of intrusion, but she read enough science fiction and fantasy to have a basic idea on how to deal with someone – or something – trying to dig around her mind: feed it noise.

_‘Pink elephants, let’s go with pink elephants for images, what can be useful for words… ah, yes, the dead parrot sketch! The Lord’s Prayer, bless the minister for drilling **that** into my head! The Elements, and they laughed at me for learning it by heart! The stoning scene, yes!’_ she listed things she could recite in her sleep._ ‘You want me to show you, you sick fuck? You want to **understand** me?! I **will** make you **understand**! Behold and weep!’_

***

_At the Toomi area defense perimeter_

The reports of the troop deployments kept flooding in. Shinji was sitting in the combat-ready Unit-01, intently listening to all the radio traffic, trying to figure out what happened, what was going on with the rescue operation – or anything else, considering that everybody was ignoring him since he was deployed.

“Umm… how is Asuka? How is Misato-san? What’s with others?” he finally inquired as the reports paused for a moment.

“We’re currently doing our best to rescue them”, came a barely reassuring reply from the command center. “Don’t worry.”

“But… I cannot do this alone”, he stated. “I need some support, I need Misato-san to direct me.”

“There won’t be any problem with the chain of command”, the face of Hyuga finally appeared on the comm screen. “Commander Ikari has taken charge.”

“Father?!” Shinji’s eyes widened in surprise. _‘This cannot be good…’_ he shivered and grasped the controls tighter. _‘I wish Asuka was here’,_ he let out a heavy sigh. _‘Well, if I can’t do it **with** her, I can at least do it **for** her, right?’_ he smiled a careful smile. _‘I’d have something to brag about. But sending me on my own, with no backup, great tactics, Father… almost like you **wanted** me to fail. I will remember that. If I survive, that is’_, he concluded with a level of optimism typical for him.

***

_Inside ex-Unit-03_

“S**how** me, t**el**l me, ex**plain** to me, e**very**t**hi**ng!” the choral cacophony resumed after some confusion at the words and images being thrown at it.

_‘Not enjoying absurdist humor, or mindless repetitions of prayers and marching songs?’_ Asuka grinned. “Let me go”, she demanded again.

“Com**ply**, or suf**fer**”, the chorus repeated; the wave of mild heat that almost reached her toes already, suddenly vanished – and became replaced with a growing spot of cold between her shoulder blades.

_‘The fuck? Is it trying to map my nervous system? Practicing nerve stimulation? God, this can turn out horrible when it hits pain receptors… or hilarious if the next one would be–’_

“Ex**plain** t**o** m**e**!” the cacophony demanded again.

Asuka shook her head. _‘Fuck. Pink elephants. Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium–’_ she tried – but the image of Shinji, this time riding a pink elephant – or was that a pink-dyed mammoth? – came up, him wearing some weird armor, swinging a huge ax, and releasing her from the Entry Plug once more.

“He w**ill** **no**t be **he**re to s**ave** y**o**u”, the cacophony mocked.

“I don’t need to be saved!” she burst out, her voice growling. “He’s never _saving_ me! He’s here to _punish_ me! For my stupidity, for falling for that, for fucking _volunteering_ for this stupid operation!” she suddenly directed all her anger towards the face, images of Shinji and sensations of his painful-yet-wonderful ministrations flooding her mind. _‘Fuck, did I just feed it the…’_

The face faded out for a moment. When it returned, it wore a mean grin. “T**his** is **plea**sure f**or** y**o**u?” the cacophony asked; random nerves in Asuka’s body fired up, creating a poor recreation of impact pain; she gasped in response, perceiving it as odd at worst and mildly pleasant at best.

_‘What?’_ she blinked in confusion. _‘Is it so–’_ a sudden realization struck her. _‘Oh. There is no difference for me. Not as this thing sees it, not for… I’m a **faulty data point**’_, she giggled. _‘Eat **that**!’_

“Ex**plain**”, the chorus demanded, the cold sensation replaced by a delicate feeling of needles under her skin, a slightly annoying but hardly painful sensation. “**Ex**p**lain** y**our** amu**semen**t!”

“Fuck you”, she replied. “Figure it out, if you have a brain behind this… mask of yours.”

“You **can**not re**sis**t me fo**rev**er”, the cacophony responded.

“You cannot keep me here forever”, she hissed back. “He _will_ come for me.”

“He th**inks** **y**o**u** **are** de**ad**.”

Asuka shivered. This one hit too close to home, this was a real possibility: after all, whatever this _thing _was – and Asuka’s suspicions, based on how alien it was, were quickly veering into the territory of ‘some Angel’ – it likely messed up the Unit-03 from top to bottom. The Entry Plug was a relatively separated system, but when it was inserted, it was connected at dozens of points – so it was under the influence as well. That meant the command center could be reading her as dead – or conclude that she turned into a chimpanzee, a chipmunk, or a whale if the data was ‘merely’ corrupted. _‘I wonder how he would feel about me if I came out of here a whale…’ s_he chuckled at the thought.

“T**his** **i**s **no**t **fun**ny”, the cacophony sounded; Asuka could swear there was _annoyance_ in that voice – if this was even possible for this thing to feel emotions. “If y**o**u are de**ad** to **hi**m, he **i**s **no**t co**ming** f**or** you. No cut**tin**g for you.”

“Maybe”, Asuka agreed. “But if he thinks I’m dead, he will know what to do”, she grinned, suddenly overwhelmed with almost a realization both morbid and ecstatic. “And once he does, once he really believes I am dead… I would _not want to be in your skin_.”

“Ir**rel**e**v_an_**_t_”, it sounded back.

“Getting angry, already?” Asuka’s grin remained on her face, the shivers caused by the elated realization quickly replacing the weird itchy and thermal sensations coming from her opponent.

“_Si**le**_**n**ce”, the cacophony sounded.

“What happened to ‘scream, doll’?” Asuka narrowed her eyes at the nightmarish face.

There was no answer.

Asuka smirked. “Not so dangerous, are – ah!”

A sudden, overwhelming sensation overtook her, sending her into sensory overload. _‘Me and my big mouth’_ was the first thought – before she realized this was not pain, nor was it any kind of thermal sensation. Her mind flashed her a scene when some classmates in her early years of school – when she was about five – had enough of her smart comments and decide to teach her a lesson. A very brutal lesson, by their standards: two of them grabbed her by arms and legs – and two others started to tickle her, aggressively, mercilessly, and methodically.

And this was the sensation that was currently being inflicted on her; far from _pleasant_, of course, but considering the alternatives, somewhat _tolerable_. _‘God bless incomprehension’_ mixed in her mind with _‘fuck I’ll go crazy if this continues’_ and the chaotic demands to stop as she burst into uncontrolled, hysterical, chaotic laughter.

The cacophony seemed satisfied. This was not _exactly_ what would identify as _screaming_ based on the incomplete data it carried, but it was loud, chaotic, and indicative of _some_ breakdown – and thus was deemed close enough.

Having established an effective way of breaking the mind of a captive human, the newly forged Angel continued on its path towards the irresistible call. There could be more to interrogate – but now, it was well-prepared for that opportunity.

***

_Inside NERV HQ_

“We have visual confirmation near the Toomi area”, came a report. “Transferring to the main monitor.”

Everyone in the command center turned their eyes on the big screen as a hunched figure entered the field of view.

“We should’ve known”, the Vice-Commander let out a sigh.

“Transmit the deactivation signal”, Commander Ikari ordered, his voice steady. “Eject the Entry Plug by force.”

***

The assault on her senses stopped abruptly, now replaced by a palpable emptiness; Asuka tried to shake the sensation-induced haze off. Shameful as it was to admit it, while not _painful_, the assault was certainly _overwhelming_ – and she was not certain how long she could withstand without going mad. Of course, her going mad would be kind of pointless if her captor wanted to extract information – but it did not make the experience any less disturbing.

_‘Okay, this definitely qualifies to Top Ten of Worst Shit That Ever Happened To Asuka, and near the top to boot’_, she decided as she tried to steady her breath; inhaling LCL no longer gave her the weird sensations in her lungs, but she was wary of breathing too deeply.

The dissonant chaos surrounding her was now replaced by pitch-black darkness – and the sounds were gone. There were still some external forces affecting her, there was some movement; if she was to guess, Unit-03 was _walking_.

_‘Is this another trick? Or did it give up?’_ she tried to assess the situation. A few seconds of movement allowed her to find a wall – and then, with her ability to navigate the Plug with her eyes closed, the controls. _‘Maybe, **maybe** this is not a trick…’_

***

“It’s no good”, Lieutenant Ibuki reported in a tense voice as she stared at the readings at her console. “It’s not recognizing the deactivation signal or the ejection code!”

“A core-like invasive structure around the entry plug area has been confirmed”, another report came. “Only partial ejection achieved.”

“Analysis pattern complete”, yet another one interjected. “It’s blue”, sounded loud in the chaos, underscored by ANGEL ALARM signals lighting up across the screens and consoles.

“Evangelion Unit-03 is hereby abandoned. Reclassify the target as the Ninth Angel”, the Commander stated, his voice cold.

***

Shinji Ikari was doing his best to remain calm at his post – but the uncertainty of the situation was hardly helping him.

“Target is approaching”, a voice from the command center finally reached him. “Prepare for ground combat.”

“Anti-invasion team, begin attack”, he heard an order directed at the troops in front of him; a moment later, he saw the tank gun blasts.

“What? This can’t be…” he stared in disbelief at the figure entering his field of view. “An Angel? Is that an Angel?!”

“That’s right”, the Commander confirmed. “That’s our target.”

“Our… target?” he repeated in disbelief. “But isn’t that an Eva?” he asked, his voice incredulous, as he watched the projectiles ineffectively bouncing off the figure’s A.T. field. “This can’t be…”

“The target is approaching”, the Commander continued. “You are to defeat it.”

“But even though that’s the target…” he trailed off, his eyes still tracking the slowly marching ex-Unit-03. “Isn’t Asuka still inside?”

There was no answer to that – but Shinji clearly saw the glaring red eyes, the opened maw, the hunched silhouette. His hands tightened on the controls. _‘Simple test, right…’_ he let out a heavy sigh._ ‘I wonder who messed it up. I don’t think Asuka did, or Misato-san… it’s kind of difficult to make an **Angel** appear by failed piloting… not that Asuka **makes** mistakes while piloting. So it had to be the Science Division…’_ he realized. _‘Or my father’_ came in an afterthought, suddenly making him more _angry_ than _worried_.

Shinji’s thoughts were interrupted when the opponent stopped a few hundred meters before Unit-01, raised its head, roared skywards, and dropped as if preparing to charge him. Shinji braced himself – and got surprised when the enemy, instead of charging, jumped up in a way no Evangelion should be capable of – and delivered a powerful kick from the acrobatic air move, pushing Unit-01 into some house despite the bracing.

***

Having secured herself in the inactive-yet-welcomingly-tangible seat, Asuka started to review her options – only to be almost thrown out of the seat by a series of sudden movements in the weirdest directions.

_‘Let me guess. This **thing** either is doing some impression to be employed at the circus, or someone noticed its movements and decided to kill it?’_ she concluded. _‘Let’s hope whoever is out there will notice I’m stuck here’_, she pondered as she braced herself against the seat and waited for the movements to calm down. _‘This thing should be transmitting something, right…?’_ she wondered for a moment before realizing the obvious. _‘No main power. The Plug is dead. Wonder-fucking-ful…’_

***

“Damn it…” as Shinji shook the pain and shock of the assault off, he refocused at the target, its back turned to Unit-01 as it landed after the weird aerial maneuver. It took him a moment to assess the situation – and to notice something, a fact that filled him with both hope and fear. “An Entry Plug?” he narrowed his eyes at the image displayed in front of him. “So she **is** in it!”

_‘That Plug is half-ejected’,_ he realized_, ‘For Asuka to be safe, well, safer, the plug **must** remain intact. If this thing keeps jumping around, it may fall on its back. I must damage its legs, stop it from–’_

He could not finish the thought; the Angel suddenly extended its arms and grabbed him by the throat; seconds later, before he could realize what was going on, he was lying against the hillside, his back in pain, his throat painfully squeezed.

“No, you don’t!” he managed to gasp out – and grabbed the armored hands by the wrists, forcing them away from his throat.

The Angel just grinned at him as two more hands emerged from its back – and grabbed his throat again.

“Asuka! Fight it!” he growled out despite the sympathetic pressure exerted on his larynx; he did not care that it was impossible for her to hear him. The only response was a tightening grip and an increasing, burning sensation coming from the point of contact. “Asuka…”

_‘And what if she is gone?’_ he asked himself suddenly, this thought chilling him to the bone. _‘She volunteered because she wanted to pilot. That was important to her. It should’ve been me inside that Unit. She’d live to pilot more… I can’t play that role, I cannot be like her, I cannot carry on! What can I–’_

_‘Avenge me’_, sounded in his head. Those were words spoken long ago, words he remembered in her voice but never believed would come to the fore. _‘Promise me you’ll avenge me.’_

The panic, the resignation, the despair – all that were suddenly gone, replaced by sudden anger and overwhelming hatred this memory woke in him.

He twisted the armored hands of his attacker as he forced them away, let go of them, grasped the hands choking him at their wrists, drove the armored fingers into them as strong as he could – and pulled with all his might.

A sickening crunch of broken bones and torn tissue brought a bitter smile to his face. _‘A monster. For her’_, he realized before pushing himself away from the hillside, closing the distance, and grabbing the enemy by its throat.

***

“The armor is being contaminated at the cervical vertebrae block!” came a report from Lieutenant Ibuki. “Contamination has been confirmed to have reached Layer 6200! The A.T. field of Unit-01 is unstable! Life support systems are failing! The pilot’s life will be in danger if this continues!”

“We can’t let this happen!” the Vice-Commander declared. “Cut the synchronization to–”

A sudden movement captured everyone’s attention; the slowly diminishing light of the setting sun made telling what was going difficult, but it was clear that the situation has suddenly changed. The Angels’ hands were limp and bleeding – and Unit-01 was standing up slowly, its hands firmly at the Angel’s throat.

“Hm”, the Commander commented as he raised an eyebrow – and winced slightly as, without letting go of the Angel’s throat, Unit-01 delivered a vicious kick to the general area of the Angel’s groin.

“The boy’s a bit misguided”, the Vice-Commander remarked. “I don’t think Evas have _genitals_. Nor Angels, for that matter.”

“Well, it certainly hurt at least a bit. And he is… adjusting his aim”, the Commander remarked as another blow landed a bit lower, closer to the leg joint.

***

_‘If Asuka’s alive, she won’t feel a thing. And this is the only way to free her’_, Shinji kept reassuring himself as he delivered blind kicks, alternating his legs – and his targets. _‘**If** she is alive…’ _he countered himself, fueling his anger further.

The hands of the Angel were flailing around, hitting and hurting him – but with their grasping abilities severely hampered by the damage he caused, they were nothing but an annoyance. _‘Core. I have to find the Core’_, a thought appeared in his head as he noticed the armor cracking and another limb emerging at the hip level. His only reaction was letting go of the throat with one hand and delivering a heavy blow to the yet-incompletely formed piece of flesh. Unarmored and soft, it surrendered quickly with a sickening squelch.

“Command, what are the readings?” he managed to ask between the strikes. “What is Asuka’s status?!”

“No signal”, Lieutenant Ibuki’s voice came in. “Plug is sending nothing, she’s likely–” she choked, unable to bring herself to say it.

“Roger that”, he declared calmly over the comms; the tone of his voice chilled everyone assembled and raised the Commander’s eyebrow.

***

Asuka was only dimly aware of what was happening on the battlefield: the LCL was cushioning most of the impact forces. On the other hand, it did nothing to hide the accelerations. The _thing_ she was trapped in was moving in a rather erratic way.

She tapped at the spot where the haptic interface was supposed to be once more, but there was still no response. _‘Fuck me, I’d take another twenty just for an opportunity… wait, a sacrifice is supposed to be unpleasant’_, she chuckled to herself. _‘Never mind that’_, she decided. _‘No main power does not mean fully dead. There are emergency-level components in every Eva…’_ she realized as her mind was slowly regaining its balance; she reached underneath her seat. “Ha!” she felt a button and pressed it, slid the cover aside, fumbled blindly for a few seconds – and flipped a switch of the emergency radio system.

“…Asuka’s status?!” a familiar voice was a balm on her soul.

_‘They send **him** to battle this thing? Speak of conflict of interest…’_ she realized with dismay. _‘On the other hand, Unit-00 is **was** a bit banged up…’_

“No signal”, another voice chimed in. “Plug is–” the rest became garbled.

_‘Fuck. They’re hanging me out for dead’_, a chill ran down her spine. “I’m here! Shinji!”

There was no response. “Fuck”, she grumbled. _‘It’s defaulted to listening … makes sense if I’m not the only one in combat, I’d jam the comms otherwise’_, she realized. _‘Still, there **has **to be a switch for an emitter! But where…’_ she returned to her attempts while the Plug was being constantly shaken by external forces. _‘He’s not pulling his punches, that’s for sure’,_ she noticed with an odd sense of glee as she kept fumbling around the controls in the somewhat suboptimal conditions of total darkness.

***

The single thought returned to his brain, spoken over and over again in his love’s voice: _‘Avenge me. Rip the monster apart.’_ That thought guided his every decision, every move, every strike.

A part of him refused to believe Asuka was gone, no matter what the HQ was saying; that part wanted to retreat from the fight, wanted to protect what might have been left of her. But that part was a small voice somewhere inside his head, a voice drowned out by the scream of anger, by the horrific rage, by his desire for vengeance.

***

Lieutenant Maya Ibuki was trying her best to contain her shaking as she watched the battle and the associated readings. She was responsible for monitoring Evangelion Units’ vital signs; she ignored the dead readings of Unit-03 – this was something horrifying, but it was also completely beyond her reach. But it was the readings of Unit-01 and its pilot that scared her. Last time she saw this kind of readings was when Unit-01 was berserking after receiving a vicious beating when Shinji Ikari climbed into it for the first time. But right now, this was no berserk; the Unit seemed to be perfectly under control of the pilot – with an unbelievably high sync rate, too – and still, it behaved like it was in a state of full berserk. To make things worse, she never saw such readings from a pilot. Maya’s mind was denying the possibility with all its will, no matter how much evidence was mounting in front of her eyes. And yet, the facts were undeniable. The pilot was showing readings more appropriate to a raging beast, despite his demeanor being cold and measured.

Her own eyes confirmed that: Unit-01 was not just _fighting_ the Angel. It was _destroying_ it: methodically, brutally, relentlessly. The Evangelion let go to the Angel’s throat only once a crunching sound suggested a broken neck – and the light in its eyes went out, its moves and attacks becoming even more erratic. Only then the hands joined in delivering the blows across the body. Each and every limb on the Angel’s body, be it existing or just emerging – and there had to be at least a dozen now, giving the increasingly skinny abomination an appearance of a human-like spider – was being mercilessly crushed within seconds of its emergence. The former Evangelion’s ichor was spraying on Unit-01 and everything around it in the radius of hundreds of meters, leaving long streaks and abstract blotches that seemed to be painted by the hand of a mad artist.

Maya Ibuki was certain that even if they win this battle, she would never be able to look at an Evangelion – or Shinji – the same way.

***

There was another pair of eyes tracking the battle from a distance, and the thoughts behind them were quite different. The red, barely blinking eyes staring at the large screen as Rei Ayanami stood in the doorframe leading to the command center. As the carnage unfolded and became increasingly blood, the girl let of a displeased sigh; she did not mind the violence, but the sight of blood was unpleasant.

But that sigh was quickly followed by a small smile.

The boy that made her feel warm and content had the upper hand in a fight, a fight he fought for the one he cared about the most. The red-headed girl was making him happy.

And when he was happy, Rei was happy as well.

She watched the battle unfold, certain that he would be victorious; she could not predict what would happen next – but right now, it did not matter. Regardless of the outcome, she intended to remain close to him as long as he accepted her.

***

Shinji Ikari was unaware of the emotion he was currently causing – just as he paid no attention to the collateral damage he caused, even as another burst of vile substance from a ruptured organ washed several cars away. He was exclusively focused on exercising Evangelions’ only purpose: the act of destruction. The blows fell relentlessly; the only area he avoided was the upper back, mindful that the plug was still there: this was his only concession to the silent voice in his head, a dim hope that love of this life might have somehow survived inside this monstrosity. But even in this concession, every blow he delivered was stronger than the last as he silently said his farewells to hope that hope.

The Angel, of course, tried to defend itself – but the effort had to seem futile even to it. Unit-01 was giving it not a single moment to act, no chance to do anything but dodge or block. After one of the attempted and ultimately futile dodges, one of the strikes dislocated a socket of one of the original, armored arms; Unit-01 immediately moved closer and grabbed it before twisting the Angel’s arm with a sickening crunch. A moment later, it was holding the arm in its hand, torn at the elbow joint. The observers could swear the eyes of Unit-01 narrowed in satisfaction as it fixed its grasp on the severed limb just before jamming it deeply into the Angel’s torso.

NERV bridge operators were anything but squeamish; they were required to undergo a detailed psychological evaluation and stress-resistance training appropriate for high-clearance military personnel. They saw some battles and most of them participated in at least one of the post-battle clean-ups: the sight of blood and torn flesh, while unpleasant and sometimes even nauseating, was not shocking nor disabling to them.

But even to them, hardened they might have been, the sheer brutality of the fight was slowly becoming too much. The squelch that came from the inside of the angel caused several bridge operators to turn green; one, disregarding the situation and the station they were responsible for, ran for the nearest trash bin. Nobody paid any attention to it; all eyes were fixed on the screen depicting the battle.

***

Gendo, his expression inscrutable, was just staring at the screen with unblinking eyes, only his slightly raised eyebrows betraying his emotions.

“I think our plan has a wrinkle, Ikari”, Fuyutsuki commented in a tense whisper, his face pale if equally unflinching. He was trying to judge his superior’s expression, but the conclusions were confusing. The closest he could read from the face he knew so well was _pride_.

“No matter now”, Gendo finally replied, his face stern and devoid of any disgust or fear that belonged on a face of a person beholding such a revolting spectacle. “This… outburst changes very little, sensei. It actually proves he has the will to do what we will require of him. We _will_ prevail in the end. The Scenario is… adaptable. All that means is that we need to be adaptable as well.”

“I hope you’re right, Ikari”, the professor sounded unconvinced. “If not, it may cost us a lot. The entire world, in the worst case.”

“He is no threat. He will do what is needed of him… because of one, or the other”, Gendo insisted, his expression unchanged except for a small smirk as Unit-01 shattered another joint and brought the Angel to its knees.

But even his face twitched momentarily when Unit-01 finally reached into the kneeling mangled mass of flesh and bone that was once Unit-03 and an Angel – and tore its ribcage open, exposing the red sphere underneath. The Evangelion eyes narrowed once more as it held the Angel’s head up, still protecting the plug – and repeatedly kicked the red shiny surface inside its chest. The orb shattered to bits just after a few blows, causing a sudden deluge of ichor and blood in amounts that could not feasibly be contained in a relatively small volume.

Mere seconds later, Unit-01 was kneeling over the form of the defeated, battered, and thoroughly destroyed enemy, ignoring the torrents of reddish, vile substance sprouting from the dying heart of the abomination; its long hands were reaching for the strange webbing that covered the half-ejected Entry Plug at the neck of the massacred creature.

“A-A-Angel neutralized”, Maya Ibuki reported, holding back an attack of nausea. “The Blue Pattern is no longer present. Still no readings from the Entry Plug”, she added in a dejected tone.

***

Unit-01, having cleaned the webbing part-way stopped at the last words. The inhuman giant slowly rose to its feet, sparing the last glance to the corpse of its enemy and the likely grave of Asuka. The upper torso of the ex-Unit-03 looked grotesque in the sea of shattered bone and torn muscle, all drowning in the strange blood; it was the only recognizable part of Unit-03 that remained.

With slow, measured, systematic steps, Unit-01 started to walk back towards the city; the ground shook with every step.

_‘Avenge me. Rip the monster apart’_ rung in his head once more.

“Father”, Shinji spoke in a tone that made people in the command center shiver, despite being momentarily desensitized from exposure to the recent carnage. “You made this happen. You–”

***

“…longer present. Still no readings from the Entry…” came to Asuka in the voice of the young Lieutenant.

“Fuck”, she cursed empathically. “I’m still here, you fucks! I’m still alive!” she yelled out, well aware that nobody could hear her; the two-way communication switch was either absent or not working. _‘If they removed it to cut costs, I’ll file a complaint’_, she growled to herself. _‘In. Someone’s. Blood.’_

“Father”, the comms sounding again, this time in Shinji’s voice, a voice carrying a tone that was oddly familiar to Asuka. This was the way he spoke when he was ‘angry’ at her.

But this time, instead of being playful and promising, it was cold, devoid of any feeling, empty of any emotion – or, more precisely, any emotion except pure hatred.

This was the voice of someone who had nothing left to lose.

“Fuck”, Asuka muttered as she suddenly understood. _‘He’s convinced that I’m dead. But it means he is going to try to kill him. Deserving as the old fuck is, this means Shinji ends up as a murderer, they will lock him up or kill him, and I’ll never see him–fuck’_, she scrambled, trying to feel up the controls in the complete darkness, aware of one final option she had not tried yet. It has been several years since she had to locate that one: it was never needed since the automatic alarm systems were implemented – but she remembered its location all well; it saved her life at least once.

Never before did a clicking sound, followed by a rising siren, sound so sweet to her.

***

“A signal!” Lt. Ibuki interrupted Shinji’s words, her voice elated. “I’ve got a signal! It’s the Plug manual beacon! Captain Shikinami is still alive!”

Unit-01 stopped abruptly, the joints crackling from the sudden deceleration; turning on the spot with a worrying squeal, Shinji raced back, dropped Unit-01 to its knees next to the massacred corpse of the Angel, and lifted the pod with the utmost care, breaking into a ground-shaking sprint the second it was secure in his hands. “Wounded incoming, heading to” – he summoned the map quickly – “retrieval point E-15.”

“Acknowledged”, Ayoba responded, frantically punching commands into the console. “Opening the lift, now! Emergency ward!” he switched channels. “Prepare for one injured, possibly heavy. Enact Angel-level quarantine procedures”, he added as an afterthought.

Gendo’s expression soured only slightly. Professor Fuyutsuki let out a heavy sigh. “Well, look on the bright side, Ikari. We didn’t lose a pilot.”

“Perhaps”, Gendo shrugged. “Or at least the good doctor will have something to play with. Assuming she actually survived, of course, and that’s not an equipment glitch”, he added, his voice impassionate. He punched a button in the console in front of him. “Check on the rescue team heading to Matsushiro”, he commanded loudly. “And if they didn’t make it, send another as soon as ready. Deploy the cleaning crews to the battle site. Usual containment, examination, and sampling procedures apply. Lieutenant Ibuki?”

“Yes, sir?” Maya managed to collect herself by then.

“You’re responsible for the clean-up and sample collection in absence of Doctor Akagi.”

“Y-yes, sir”, she replied, her voice suddenly shaking.

“Proceed”, he ordered and cut the connection.

“Professor, we need to determine how to adapt the Scenario”, he addressed the old man.

“Yes, Ikari”, the Professor confirmed, doubt evident in his voice.

***

“Asuka, do you hear me?” a semi-familiar female voice called out to her, the face of a young woman coming into her field of view. “Do. You. Hear. Me?”

Her mind sorted through the familiar voices before identifying this one. “You’re that weird medical assistant to Doctor Akagi. Miyuki… Doctor Miyuki, right?” she managed. “I’m alive. Good. You heard the beacon.”

“Yes, that’s me”, the voice replied, worry replaced with something akin to amusement. “You’re alive, but I’m sorry, you’re far from fine. I’m giving you sedatives so we can get you somewhere where we can treat you”, the doctor explained patiently, if quickly. “Can you count down from ten for me?”

“Is Shinji okay?” Asuka suddenly asked, her voice hazy.

“Pilot Ikari? Alive, well, and safe”, the doctor explained. “He pulled you out. Major Katsuragi and Doctor Akagi are alive too, but that’s all I know. Please, I need to sedate you before any neurological degeneration sets in. You’ll be all right”, she reassured her. “I’m applying the dose. Please count down.”

“Okay”, Asuka agreed, her voice hazy. “Ten… Nine… Eight… Thank you, sir… Seven…”

The slowly lifting haze returned as a warm blanket of nothingness embraced her.

***

_‘Ouch’_ was the first thought in Asuka’s mind as her consciousness returned. She was lying on her back among rather rough sheets; some parts of her body hurt, others were somewhat numb – but she was certainly alive, and seemingly not suspended in an Entry Plug.

The air smelled like dust, old walls, and industrial alcohol.

_‘Is this a hospital? I suppose I suffered **some** damage…’_

A sound of a turned page picked up by her overly sensitive hearing told her that she was not alone.

_‘Someone is watching over me. Who?’_

Her heart sped up with hope. She opened her eyes carefully – and realized only one of them worked; the other was covered, most likely bandaged. _‘Okay… more than **some**, it seems’_, she realized. The light in the room was warm and subdued by the curtains – but still managed to hurt her eye.

“Where am I?” she asked and immediately started to cough, the words mercilessly scratching her throat.

“Asuka!” a familiar, welcome beyond anything else, voice called out for her and gave her an immediate sense of relief – and a warm hand momentarily closed on hers; that touch _burned_, but she relished in that burn. “Gods be praised!” an elated voice sounded just next to her as she tried to orient herself, a task made difficult by the fact that the hand she felt the touch on was on the side of her non-working eye – and lifting her head seemed far harder than it should be.

_‘I’m alive. He’s alive. Nothing else matters’_, she concluded despite those minor issues. _‘But… what the fuck?’_ followed as she tried to get a better grasp at her thoughts. _‘This does **not** look like the NERV hospital we usually ended up in… unless NERV suffered some **serious** budget cuts…’_

She took a deep breath, swallowed the rising cough, and asked the basic question.

“Shinji. Darling. What in the name of the holy fuck happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends, only to begin anew.
> 
> Welcome to the other side of the story. We are still far from done.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2020-04-01. It is not going to be a joke, though.


	37. Chapter 37

The light of the room was hurting Asuka’s eye – and getting up felt like an impossibility. Her immediate need for contact was _somewhat_ satisfied; of course, she planned to throw herself at him the first opportunity… but that, unfortunately, had to wait until her situation was clearer. And for that, she needed _answers_.

“It’s a long story”, Shinji finally replied with uncertainty in his voice, the grip of his hand vice-like.

“You’re here. It means it’s a good one”, she managed to say, her mind still hazy, her voice husky. Her whole body, aside from feeling bruised, felt weak, a feeling she definitely did not like. She managed to raise her head from the elevated pillow and to scan her surroundings while trying to ignore the pain of light piercing her eyeball. “Or at least one with a good ending?”

“To a degree”, he replied as her gaze finally rested on him. The boy was bathed in what likely was late afternoon light; he was dressed as usual: in his white shirt and black pants; his hair was just a bit shorter than she remembered, and he was sitting next to her bed in a relatively large… classroom? There was an empty blackboard on the wall, but no desks – just a bed she was on, an IV stand with a drip ending in her arm, a few cabinets, and several old-fashioned, wooden chairs.

“What happened? Where–” another bout of coughing interrupted her questions.

“Oh. Right”, he noticed immediately and reached for a glass of water. “You weren’t using your throat too much”, he handed the glass to her as he reluctantly let go of her hand and helped her up.

“Thank you”, her voice normalized just a bit after a few seconds of drinking; the water had a metallic aftertaste, and yet it was the sweetest drink she could imagine. “Now, speak. What. Happened?” she asked insistently as she tried to stabilize herself in the half-sitting position, wincing from the effort. “How long I have been out?”

“About four months”, he replied. “Here”, he carefully moved a pillow behind her back and helped her adjust to the position. “Doctor Akagi said you suffer from some muscle loss. I think I should call–”

“Fuck, that’s some time to just lie down”, Asuka grumbled, trying to take the facts in as she ignored his suggestion. “Okay, will I learn the tale from you, or do I need to go hunting for a historian?”

“It’s a bit of a long story”, he repeated sheepishly as his hand found hers again, clearly unwilling to let go again. She shared that sentiment; the weakness of her body was the only thing stopping her from throwing herself at him _right_ _now_, even before he explained anything.

“You said that already, but unless you’re on some kind of duty or need to return to school, I’d say we have time”, she quipped weakly.

“Well, there’s no school anymore, so there’s no worry here. Where should I start?” he asked, his expression sheepish.

“At the beginning?” she raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what do you mean ‘no school’?” she turned her head abruptly and immediately regretted it; it made her far too dizzy for such a simple movement.

“It’s…” he started again.

“A long story”, she took a careful deep breath. _‘No LCL in my lungs. Good. It means I am actually out of this fucking **thing’**_, she shivered, recalling her struggle inside… an Angel? “And before you answer, did you need a sword or an ax to get me out?”

“What?” he tilted his head, his expression confused.

“Never mind”, she shook her head, immediately regretting that gesture. “So?” she glared at him expectantly. The position she needed to hold to keep staring at Shinji was not the most comfortable one – but applying pressure with her glare felt like a good start to getting answers faster. Simply demanding him to move into her field of view did not yet enter her still-hazy mind.

“What is the last thing you remember?” he asked.

“Being put to sleep by Doctor Miyuki?” she recalled.

“Okay…” he nodded. “She was taking care of you when you arrived. And before that?”

“Hearing that Ibuki told you I was dead”, she reached to her memory with a moment of pondering. “That there was nothing coming from the Plug. And then her saying there is a signal… and… you carrying me? Inside the Plug?”

“Wait, you were conscious all the time?” he shot her a surprised glare, his voice gaining a minor note of panic.

“Well, yes, but it was… a really heavy psychedelic trip before it all went dark and I started to hear pieces of your comm traffic”, she replied, her expression pained as she adjusted her position. “Listen, it’s me who is waking up to an unfamiliar ceiling in something that doesn’t look much like a hospital, perhaps **you** should be answering **my** questions?”

“Sorry, you’re right, darling”, he smiled.

_‘It’s still “darling”, good’,_ she breathed a sigh of relief; she assumed so much, but there was some worry gnawing at her soul until now. _‘Let’s hope this didn’t get lost in whatever happened…’_ she mused. “So? Where am I, what happened in between that fight and now, and how long until we can start to reduce my count? And why do I still have bandages on my head?”

“All the important things, yes, but there’s something we need to do”, Shinji smiled. “I was supposed to call Doctor Akagi the moment you wake up, but I suppose I owe you the explanation. We’re in Argentina.”

“Argen-what?!” Asuka shook her head, this time with more restraint. “Come on! I’m just a _quarter_ German!”

“Um… what does this have to do with anything?” he asked in sudden confusion.

“Never mind”, she chuckled, slowly getting used to more careful gestures with her head. “Why _Argentina_?”

“This is a _very_ long story I don’t really get myself”, he explained apologetically. “You’ll have to ask Doctor Akagi.”

“Yay”, she let out a sigh. “Could have ended up worse. Why?”

“Doctor Akagi’s decision… and my father’s, after a fashion. I suppose we should get to that… well, chronologically”, he stated.

“Okay. NERV transferred to Argentina, then?” Asuka probed.

“No”, he replied, his face troubled. “Chronologically?” he suggested.

“Please do. I assume it will explain a thing… but first, we’ve been talking for a few minutes, there had been several months’ worth of separation, and you still haven’t kissed, hugged, or spanked me”, she sulked. “I count this as a _serious_ neglecting of your duties as a boyfriend.”

“And you’re right”, he admitted with a chuckle. “Allow me to fix it”, he rose from his chair and leaned over her, carefully placing a hand on her neck, followed by a careful kiss placed on her lips.

_‘Okay. There’s no fucking way in hell this thing could replicate a sensation of him kissing me’_, she smiled before she embraced him and pulled him closer, turning _careful_ into _proper_.

***

_A few long minutes later_

“Asuka…” he tried during the breathing break.

“Yes?” she asked innocuously as she smiled wide enough for her facial muscles to _hurt_.

“I really should call the doctor”, Shinji explained, whispering for some reason. “She allowed me to watch over you only on the condition I call her when you finally woke.”

“Come on, you’ve got a lot to tell me, don’t you?” Asuka sulked. “So, unless you’re going to be here and stay after she leaves, I’m not letting you go.”

“I’m was supposed to be watching you today and tomorrow if you didn’t wake”, Shinji replied. “I’m all yours until Wednesday’s noon.”

“So… today’s a Monday?” she checked.

“Correct”, he nodded.

“Yay, I can still count”, Asuka let out a heavy sigh. “Okay, okay, call her. But you better start putting a dramatic tale together while she pokes and prods me”, she narrowed her eyes at him as she unclasped her surprisingly tired arms.

“Darling…” he smiled a warm smile. “I’ve been preparing that tale _since we got here_.”

A sudden warmth spread all over her body. _‘He’s still mine. This didn’t change’_, she concluded. “Call her”, she repeated in a firmer voice. “Let’s get this over with.”

***

“Good afternoon, Asuka”, Doctor Akagi’s greeting sounded in the room as she entered, followed by Shinji and a scrubs-wearing young man with black hair and dark skin.

“Hello, Doctor”, Asuka replied, quickly scanning the new face before moving to the familiar-if-off-looking Doctor Akagi. “I take it you’re here with all the necessary tools, including the anal probe–what the fuck happened to your hair?” she suddenly changed her tone from _slightly annoyed_ to _utterly surprised_. The shoulder-long blonde hair was gone, replaced by a buzz-cut. Technically, not much else changed in the woman’s appearance, but that alone was enough to shock Asuka.

“I believe you heard the answer to that already from Shinji here, Asuka”, the doctor replied, somewhat cold. “_It’s a long story_”, she quoted, seeing some confusion on her patient’s face. “So let’s focus on the matters at hand, shall we?”

“Yes, yes”, Asuka confirmed. “Ask away, just tell me what hit me on my head so much that I need a bandage _four months after_? You didn’t drop me on my head while transporting me here, did you?”

The doctor chuckled. “Far from it. I’ll explain it in a moment, trust me, and will answer all your questions about your condition before I leave, but answer mine first, all right?”

“All right, all right”, Asuka agreed. “Go ahead.”

The doctor turned to the young man, addressed him as ‘Daniel’, and spoke to him for a moment in something that had to be Spanish, Portuguese, or Italian; Asuka could only recognize her name and his confirmation in the stream of words. _‘Right, Argentina, and of course we’re employing the locals. I suppose learning their language – Spanish, I assume? – was more logical than trying to teach them Japanese… I can see my curriculum for the next few weeks. I wonder how fluent Shinji is…’_

“Okay, Asuka. How do you feel in general?” the doctor turned back to her, interrupting her thoughts.

“Like I was run over by something heavy that went back and forth over my battered body. Or like I was transported in a trunk over a bumpy road that went forever”, she explained with a displeased expression. “Breathing and listening are the only things that don’t hurt.”

“This was to be expected”, the doctor nodded and addressed her assistant again. “How serious is the pain?”

“Not enough to stop me from moving, and far less than my first period or what I had to endure in my training”, Asuka explained. “It’s like a bruising, mostly annoying and all over me.”

“Okay, how does breathing feel like?” the doctor went on – and Asuka kept answering with uncharacteristic patience, while the unknown doctor – or an intern? – was taking notes of what the doctor relayed to him.

***

_About half an hour later_

“…and the last thing – do you feel hungry?”

“Not really, I mean… I don’t _feel_ hunger, but I feel somewhat _empty_”, she confirmed.

“We’ll start giving you broth tomorrow, then”, the doctor decided. “You’ve been on IV feeding for a while, and we need to start slow.”

“Why not today?” Asuka checked.

“You don’t want to restart your digestive system before night”, the doctor replied. “Unless you want it to be a restless one at best, and… well, you can guess what’s the worst that can happen.”

“Okay, fair point”, Asuka nodded with a momentary twitch on her face as her brain filled in the blanks. “My turn?”

“In a moment. One more, well, several more things. Please raise your head… okay”, she nodded. “Your left arm? Bend it? Right arm? Bend it?” she nodded, and the assistant made a tick on every joint. “Okay, thank you. So… I told you about the food, today just make sure to drink water.”

“I’ll see to it, doctor”, Shinji chimed in.

“I’m sure you will”, Akagi chuckled. “Okay, that’s all, I suppose. Ask away, Asuka.”

“What is this about… what is this bandage about?” she pointed to her head.

“Ah. Right”, the doctor’s face tightened. “You didn’t make it out _entirely_ intact.”

“Fuck”, Asuka’s face contorted as a cold ball formed in her stomach. “I lost my eye, didn’t I?”

“Not… exactly”, the doctor replied, her voice suddenly uncertain. “It’s there, it’s seemingly undamaged, and it’s working. Sort of. It’s just… changed.”

“What, it grew tentacles or what?” Asuka quipped, her voice nervous.

“Close”, the doctor’s expression did not change; Asuka noticed Shinji had a similar one.

“Doctor, spit it out, I’m not going to get hysteric here, I’m too tired for that right now”, Asuka let out a sigh, her voice carrying just a hint of tension. “If you intended to kill me because of contamination, you’d have done it before I woke, and I’d be on an autopsy table right now.”

“Well, for the record, the Commander **was** suggesting it”, Doctor Akagi admitted. “Or at least extraction and dissection of the organ.”

“Hoooly fuck”, Asuka stated, her face in mild shock. “Charming. I assume you didn’t want to follow that?”

“No, but it’s a tale I’m sure Shinji is burning to tell you himself”, the doctor smiled a surprisingly warm smile, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Asuka. “The problem started to become evident once we… left, and I developed a stopgap, based on some Metaphysical Biology solutions we use for Evangelions. But while it is good, it is still just a stopgap. So, please do **not** remove those for the next few days. I’ll change them tomorrow; we developed a safe procedure to do so.”

“Doctor, have I become some kind of _Medusa the Gorgon_?” Asuka shook her head, ignoring the pain and glaring at the doctor in disbelief with her uncovered eye.

“We don’t know”, the doctor admitted. “We know that the stopgap _works_, but without it… well, your eye does _something_”, she offered. “Let me…” she retrieved a small mirror from her pocket and presented it to Asuka.

The first thing she noticed was the fact that she was kind of gaunt; _‘Well, that was expected. I’m sure Shinji will take care of that, assuming we’re not on some rationing here. But what the actual–’_

There was a faint, bluish light coming in form of light points from beneath the heavy dressing, forming a roughly round shape that would fall where her eye socket would be. “Oh” was all she could think of.

“It’s the secured form, believe or not”, the doctor explained. “As long as you don’t remove the cover, it’s safe, and the cover is held in place by the dressing.”

“And if I do?” Asuka asked.

“Unknown”, the doctor replied frankly. “This is one of the first things we will be testing… once you’re fit enough to get to the lab.”

“Great”, Asuka let out a sigh, filing this one to the ‘worry once I have enough brainpower to do so’ section of ‘potential crises’ shelf. “And when can I get out of this bed?”

“I’d rather keep you here for a few days”, the doctor replied. “As for literal getting out, you should be able to walk with some assistance, and we’re going to test that in a moment. You spent most of the four months in a top-of-the-line medical container that stimulated what it could, and you were exposed to LCL almost constantly – but you’re still suffering from an equivalent of a few weeks’ worth of being bedridden.”

“Wonderful”, Asuka let out a heavy sigh. “So, I’m likely too weak to get to the bathroom, my muscles are on their way to Atrophyville, and at least one of my organs is possessed by an Angel? What else do you have in store for me?”

“You… summed it up pretty well, except your muscles will recover quickly once you start using them”, the doctor explained. “And the foreign tissue, or ‘possession’, as you called it, is contained and should remain so. We observed you for a while – and the growth has clearly stopped.”

“Okay, that’s kind of reassuring. Well, could have been worse”, Asuka shrugged. “It could’ve _impregnated_ me, or something.”

“We… Well, it was one of the worries”, the doctor admitted. “But the biopsy came clean.”

“Seriously?” Asuka tilted her head minimally. “What else was I being checked for?”

“Everything, believe me”, the doctor replied. “You were likely the most tested patient in the entire world at the time.”

“Well, isn’t it nice to be in the center of attention sometimes”, Asuka quipped. “I wish I remembered that, though.”

“Trust me, the number of needles involved would make even you rethink that”, Shinji chimed in.

“Don’t tell me you were there”, Asuka raised an eyebrow.

“He was… persistent… about being around you whenever possible”, Doctor Akagi remarked with a smirk. “Fortunately, he was also surprisingly reasonable about it, as long as he was allowed to simply **be** there”, she added, eliciting a small smile on Shinji’s face. “Now, I need a sample of your blood, and I want you to deliver a urine sample tomorrow morning”, she fished a plastic contained out of her pocket and put it on the bed. “You know how to do it correctly?”

“I’ve been a guinea pig for several years, I know”, Asuka confirmed. “When is the IV going away?” she asked as she pointed to the venous catheter in her arm.

“Tomorrow”, the doctor replied as she slowly drew the blood from the other arm. “I’m taking this for the lab check now, but so far, you’re better than I hoped. Expect a lot of examinations and questionings over the next few days, but unless you have some urgent message to relay from the Angel to humanity as a whole, this can wait.”

“Doctor, are you all right?” Asuka asked in a confused voice. “Because the Doctor Akagi I know would have me over hot coals just to tell her _anything_ about what happened there.”

“Things change, Asuka”, came a curt reply. “I’m _curious_, yes, but you need to recover, and I know that questioning you now would yield little except annoyed retorts and faulty data. So, we can try to get you on your feet now… if you feel ready. The sooner you start moving, the better for you, actually, and I know you well enough to know you’d be trying it on yourself anyway.”

“So you prefer to be there when it happens?” Asuka chuckled. “Guilty as charged”, Asuka pushed the covers away and shivered. _‘Right, my thermoregulation got messed up, too, I guess. This is going to suck…’_ she realized as she shifted her weight carefully and dropped her legs from the bedframe.

“Slowly!” was the only thing she heard before she felt herself drop bottom-first on the bed, her vision going white for a moment. “Your blood pressure is low, Asuka, and your muscles are weak. Try again, but get up _slowly_”, the doctor directed. “Weight on your feet, first…”

***

About twenty minutes and several attempts later, Asuka took a first proper step, half her weight slumped on Shinji’s shoulders. _‘Him being shorter is suddenly useful’_, she realized with amusement as she made a few more.

“You seem to be doing fine”, the doctor noticed. “Now, I’m leaving you two lovebirds here, but promise me you won’t do anything strenuous”, she requested.

“Doctor, I already promised that”, Shinji rolled his eyes. “That was unnecessary.”

“There’s no ‘unnecessary’ when it comes to the safety of the patient”, the doctor retorted.

“Hey, don’t **I** get a say in that?” Asuka chimed in, her voice annoyed.

“Not unless you want to leave here on schedule. We need you in the lab and then in the field, but I’m not releasing you until it’s safe”, the doctor explained. “For you and everyone else involved.”

“All right, all right”, Asuka let out a heavy sigh.

“Doctor…” Shinji inquired.

“Yes, Shinji?” the doctor raised an eyebrow, her smile indicating she already knew the question.

“Can I spend the night at her side? I promise we’ll be just hugging”, he requested, his face turning redder with every heartbeat.

“Yes, if you keep that promise”, the doctor nodded. “And I **will** know.”

“Thank you, doctor”, Shinji smiled, his face almost incandescent.

“I’ll see you during the evening rounds”, Doctor Akagi continued. “Doctor Miyuki will be here for the morning rounds, I’ll tell her to expect you. Remember, be good kids”, she repeated her stipulations before getting up, saying a few words to the man assisting her – and leaving with him.

Asuka raised an eyebrow as the door closed behind them. “Let me guess, the cat’s out of the bag?” she asked as she started to head back towards the bed.

“Misato… heard us”, Shinji explained. “On the phone, before the… incident. She admitted, I explained… Not everybody knows, but enough people to make it, well, official.”

“Good”, Asuka nodded as she sat down, eliciting a surprised look from Shinji. “What? A secret is a burden. Now…” she grinned. “Get on with it, I want to know! And get on the bed and hug me, I’m not missing out any more of the contact since we’re official now!”

“As you wish, darling”, he smiled at her. “Don’t you want to try to walk to the bathroom first, though?”

“I’ll tell you when I need to. Don’t worry about that, Nurse Ikari”, she winked at him. “Now, come here!”

He just smiled wider and obliged her carefully, waiting for her to settle in, embracing her, and carefully entangling his legs with hers. A satisfied smile told him this was exactly what was expected of him. “So, when I returned from the battle with the Plug in my – well, Unit-01 – hands…” he picked up again.

***

Unit-01 was running through the already-devastated part of the city, splashing the foul ichor with every step, making squelching sounds, and paying little attention to anything that was not a direct threat. The moment it reached the elevator, it opened, accommodating the Evangelion’s bulk. Shinji silently blessed the foresight of the designers: the evacuation shafts, while fewer than deployment ones, were wider and taller in order to accommodate Units that were for some reason unable to assume the standard limb-in-line-with-body launch position. This allowed him to hold the Entry Plug horizontally instead of forcing him to turn it and risking injuring Asuka.

***

“Well, that does explain why it felt like being carried… _princess style_”, Asuka quipped with the English term, glad that she remembered the synonym to the more widely used ‘bridal style’. _‘Too soon. Too soon’_, she decided. “I mean, you _knew_ the LCL would’ve protected me, and still decided to be extra careful?” she asked with a smug smile.

“I didn’t know your condition”, Shinji explained sheepishly. “You could’ve been injured, and the LCL could’ve been gone… I knew that the last stage of emergency ejection was LCL venting but could only guess whether this happened or not. And it would be _extremely_ stupid to have you saved from the battle and then have you break your neck _because I turned the Plug the wrong way_, right?”

“Fair point”, Asuka chuckled. “I assume the next thing that happened was you handing me over to the tender mercies of the NERV medics, specifically Doctor Miyuki?

“Yes”, he confirmed. “Not directly, of course, that would be _a little bit difficult_…”

***

Shinji paid no attention to the usually unpleasant feeling of the ride down, or – more accurately – minimally decelerated drop; the moment the Unit-01 reached the bottom, he stepped out and put the entry plug down on the cart that was already waiting; two NERV technicians secured it and signaled someone; the cart sped up down the rail.

“Unit-01, the retrieved Plug is on its way”, Hyuga’s voice sounded from the command center. “Please proceed to decontamination as per the procedure.”

“Acknowledged”, he confirmed and followed the familiar path in the bowels of NERV HQ.

***

“And then my father decided to have a word with me”, Shinji finished.

“I hope he didn’t start by tying you to a rack or marshaling an execution squad?” Asuka raised her eyebrows.

“Hardly”, Shinji refuted. “He actually seemed to be_ happy with me_.”

***

_Commander Ikari’s office, less than an hour after the fight_

“Pilot Ikari”, Gendo Ikari, Commander of NERV, addressed the boy standing in front of him. The boy that felt out of his place, lost in the huge space of this office – but who refused to listen to his instincts telling him to step back. “You disposed of the Angel with extreme prejudice”, the commander continued. “The level of violence was admittedly extreme and less than efficient, but the results could not be argued with. Still, your rescue of Pilot Shikinami was unnecessary.”

“With all due respect… Commander”, Shinji hesitated on the last word. “The Angel was dead by then.”

Commander Ikari raised his eyebrow. “And how could you be sure, Pilot? Why risk your own life, and the Evangelion, for someone who was likely dead?”

Shinji forced down a twitch on his face. “The Angel was dead… Commander. I crushed its Core with my own feet”, he mimicked vaguely, if forcefully, a kicking gesture in front of him; a hint of a mean smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. “Besides, by that time it had no functional limbs to attack with. It would be rather… comical to watch it try. But to be honest, I was not in the mood for comedy.”

Gendo Ikari did his best to force down a chuckle. The boy was inexcusably defiant in the face of his authority – but he was also quite correct. The initial reports from the clean-up teams clearly indicated that the Angel was disarmed – literally so, one of them used the terms ‘dismemberment’ and ‘disembowelment’ – _before_ it was killed. What he saw with his own eyes over the visual feed from the battle, the visual recordings, and the Pattern measurements confirmed that beyond doubt.

“You are correct, Pilot. Still, it was an unnecessary risk; the recovery team would have been sent”, Gendo paused before shaking his head. “No matter. Your effectiveness in disposing of the Angel was remarkable, even if the efficiency left something to wish for; a note of commendation will be made a part of your personal record. Dismissed”, he finished and turned his back on his son.

“Can I have a question… Commander?”

A gunshot would have a lesser effect on Gendo Ikari in that very moment; he slowly turned back.

“I am listening?” he asked with his eyebrow raised.

“What of… Pilot Shikinami?”

Gendo Ikari narrowed his eyes. _‘Interesting. His actions caused several deaths and billions in damage… and he asks only about **her**? On the other hand, she has a face… they do not. Irrelevant’_, he decided. “She is in care of Doctor Akagi and her staff”, he replied. “If you’re interested, feel free to query her; your clearance is high enough for that, after all. Dismissed”, he repeated, his voice a tad more insistent this time.

“Thank you, sir”, the Third Child turned in his place and walked away, escorted by an operative of Section 2 that had led him here before.

“What do you make of him, Professor?” Gendo asked the moment the door closed behind the boy.

“He is your son, Ikari”, the old man chuckled. “Now more than ever.”

“Yes”, Gendo smiled approvingly. “He is.”

Kouzo Fuyutsuki was a man that has seen a lot in his life; the secrets he knew turned his hair white, gave him nightmares, but also strengthened his resolve.

But even after all the horrors he saw, after all the secrets he learned, seeing Gendo Ikari’s smile still qualified as one of the most worrying things he had ever witnessed.

The fact that the expression on the face of the boy was pretty close on the scale did not put the old man at ease at all.

***

“Your asshole father _praised_ you?” Asuka asked in a disbelieving voice. “I mean, you deserved it more than anyone, but…”

“That was the second time, after the ‘catch sky with my own hands’ case”, Shinji admitted with a sad smile. “Not that it mattered then.”

“Why?” Asuka’s brow furrowed.

“Well, my thoughts were with someone else”, he smiled. “But to my luck, Misato cared for you more than she cared for herself, and she was already on her feet – and on the track.”

“Oh”, Asuka felt her face turn red. “How is she?”

“Fine… more or less”, he explained cryptically.

“Come on, no puzzles, no half-truths!” the redhead demanded impatiently.

“She’s alive and well… it’s just she’s in command here, and this takes its toll”, he explained.

“In command? What happened to your asshole father?” Asuka glared at him.

“I’ll get to that”, he promised. “In time. For now, let’s say he is no commander of us anymore”, he smiled smugly before returning to the tale. “Now, there was a rather ugly, almost-sleepless night”, his tone suddenly changed, his hand tightening on hers. “I only knew you were alive, not much else. From what I managed to get from the others, there were no fatalities among the Matsushiro personnel, as virtually everyone was either evacuated as non-essential or in the relative safety of the bunker. But there were casualties, and I knew Misato was injured. All they told me was that they were ‘not life-threatening’, and the rest was the usual ‘no need to know’ crap”, he sighed. “So, having questioned everyone I could get my hands on, I went home and did my best to take my mind off things. I suppose the apartment wasn’t that clean in _months_”, he chuckled.

“I can imagine”, Asuka nodded to that. “And the next day, you went on an information-gathering crusade the world hasn’t seen?”

“Sort of”, he smiled. “I realized I have school to go to–”

“Seriously?” Asuka glared at him with disbelief. “The world almost ended – again – and you were thinking about _school_?”

“Well, my world, for sure”, he tightened his grip on her again with a smile, eliciting a sudden blush.

_‘Okay, I set him up to that by accident, but that’s **some** admission’_, Asuka realized, trying to fight the reddening of her ears down. “Sweet talker.”

“With a good reason, darling”, Shinji’s smile widened. “Well, the school would be a good distraction, but it was not to be. As I was leaving for the bus, I got a call from Misato, who was already on top of things… sort of. She reassured me she was fine – I decided not to question that too much for now – and telling me to come to NERV and wait for her.”

“And?” Asuka asked insistently.

“Well, I did… while she was making her rounds…”

***

_The day after the fight_

“Misato, what are you doing here?” doctor Ritsuko Akagi eyed Colonel Katsuragi as she entered the room, wearing a worrying amount of medical dressing.

“Gathering reports on my… troops”, she declared, carefully avoiding the obvious ‘kids’. “How is she?” she gestured at the black-and-red, casket-shaped container Asuka Langley Shikinami was currently being held in.

“The physical injuries are surprisingly mild, considering the circumstances”, Doctor Akagi replied. “It’s lucky Unit-01 did not hit the Angel on its head or back.”

“This has nothing to do with luck, Rits”, Misato objected as she dropped to a seat next to the desk. “I have seen the recording. He was actively avoiding the head”, she explained.

“I heard the battle was vicious”, the Doctor made a note in the file. “What happened there?”

“He… he **literally** tore the thing apart. Limb by limb”, Misato shivered. “Well, limb by limb by limb, considering how this thing regenerated. He used one of the severed limbs to stab it. It was like he had gone mad. And when the ribcage cracked, he splayed it and…” she shook her head. “The only other moment I saw this kind of fury was when Unit-01 berserked. If not for the signal from the Plug, I don’t know what he would do. I think he needs a therapist. At least in anger management.”

Ritsuko shrugged. “Well, some say that aggression is a positive trait on the battlefield. He did the job, didn’t he?”

Misato frowned. “He pilots a machine that casually breaks laws of physics as we know it, not to mention its ability to level an entire city to rubble within minutes and to a flat ground within hours and, a machine that cannot be stopped by anything but another of its kind. No, aggression is **not** a good thing here, Rits”, she shook her head. “But it’s not important right now. I’ll talk to him. What else can you tell me on Asuka’s condition?”

“Well”, Ritsuko sighed. “Her injures are negligible. Nothing seems out of order physically, either… but although all the obvious traces of cellular contamination have disappeared and we’re running detailed tests to confirm that, we cannot rule out the possibility of mental contamination from the Angel, or some hidden infestation. Our only option is to keep her quarantined for now and look for odd growths or manifestations.”

“How long?” Misato asked curtly.

“I don’t know. Days, for the second phase of diagnostics”, Ritsuko replied. “Don’t worry, this is the safest place in the entire Japan. I’ll keep her in a medical coma until we can determine the level of mental contamination. Why do you care, are you running out of clean panties?” she raised an eyebrow.

Misato shot her a glare. “Shinji’s doing the laundry. I’m concerned about her. She’s my responsibility, you know?”

“Not at the moment”, the Doctor objected. “She’s in good hands, and you should focus on the rest of the pilots.”

“I don’t want to be forced to oversee rehabilitation if you keep her in a tank too long”, Misato jabbed. “And how do you want to determine _mental contamination_ if she is in a _coma_?”

“CAT scans and such, for starters. Waking her up and asking as a first step would be a little careless, don’t you think?” Ritsuko retorted, eliciting a reluctant acknowledgment from Misato. “And as for rehabilitation, I doubt it will come to that. If this will have to be long, we’ll apply muscle stimulation”, the Doctor shrugged. “And she’s swimming in LCL, and that does wonders to the tissue. I can do my work, Misato, and I have medical doctors on staff.”

“I sure hope you know what you’re doing, Rits”, Misato took a deep breath. “I trust your skills, but please keep me informed.”

“I will”, the Doctor reassured her. “Go. Shinji needs you more than Asuka.”

Misato just nodded and left.

“Sempai… how long will that be, really?” Maya Ibuki probed, eyeing the container and trying not to think how much it resembled a coffin.

“As long as the Commander says”, doctor Akagi retorted. “As with everything in this place that God has chosen to abandon, leaving us to carry the burdens.”

***

“Huh. ‘In good hands’ indeed. Let me guess, she kept pestering them?” Asuka chuckled.

“She did, and I did… let’s say I became a frequent guest there”, Shinji admitted. “And it continued here, of course”, he smiled. “While Doctor Akagi keeps a professional distance to most people here, Maya is happy to mingle, of regardless the rank, as long as she knows she can trust someone.”

“Wait… _Maya_?” Asuka raised an eyebrow, a smile emerging on her face. “Not _Lieutenant Ibuki?_”

“Well…” his expression suddenly turned serious. “Most of our friends got left behind in Tokyo-3, and while I kept you company in your tank, you were not very responsive”, he smiled a sad smile, eliciting a twitch on Asuka’s face. “So I befriended a few people; it was easier to start with those I didn’t need to learn Spanish for, and as I was keeping watch over you, Maya and I sometimes talked. She was rather wary of me in the beginning, almost _afraid_, for several reasons… but it turned out fine over time. Afterward, we held several watches together, so we had a lot more time to talk–”

“Watches?” Asuka interrupted, confused.

“Well, it’s not the _safest_ place we’re in, and we no longer have the Tokyo-3 police of Section 2 to watch over us, so we hold watches around the clock”, he explained. “In pairs, most of the time, in threes if things get worrying. And when it’s peaceful… there’s time to talk. I know, not exactly military protocol to talk on a watch, but most of us are not exactly _military_.”

“What **is** this place, exactly?” Asuka asked, her voice insistent.

“Technically, a landing site turned military camp, right next to a village with an old mission building”, Shinji explained. “Practically, a small town by now, and a chaotic mix of Argentinian and Japanese culture. You’ll see for yourself soon, it’s quite beautiful”, he smiled.

“Okay, that makes sense, but to be honest, I cannot _imagine_ those two mindsets working well together. I mean… ‘this has to be done perfectly… tomorrow’?” she quipped.

“We get by”, Shinji smiled. “What everyone has in common is a hard-working nature and, well, the desire to survive. As Misato said, ‘it’s a good start and the rest can be talked out’”, he explained.

“I can imagine how ‘talking out’ must’ve looked like in the beginning…” Asuka remarked, her voice amused. “I don’t think they had many Spanish-Japanese dictionaries lying around.”

“Well, Misato spoke passable Spanish, and we had NERV databases… so while it _was_ bumpy in the beginning, we got by”, he kept explaining.

“Okay, so we have a nice mixed community, I wonder how many kids with features uncommon in South America will be running around in a year or two. Okay, but what about Ibuki, then? Why would she be _afraid_?” Asuka raised an eyebrow.

“I think it’s a tale for later”, he suggested. “Unless you want to hear it now instead of _what happened _and_ how did you get here_?”

“Well, I don’t think I’m going to be leaving this place for a few more days”, Asuka shook her head, now careful to do it in a restrained way. “Go on with the main story. So, Misato went to collect intel on me, nice of her. What happened next? You intimidated her to reveal it?”

“Not… exactly”, Shinji’s smile turned sheepish. “Well, I **did** intimidate her”, he admitted. “But just a bit, and entirely by accident.”

“Darling?” Asuka asked in a questioning-and-maybe-admiring expression, her eyebrow raised.

“Let’s say I was in a… state of mind”, he let out a sigh. “I was waiting for her in the conference room next to her office…”

***

“Misato-san!” Shinji jumped up from his seat and ran towards his guardian the moment he saw her. He opened his mouth to ask something – and stared at the bandages still covering her head and the sling supporting her arm. “You said you were _fine_”, he glared at her, his voice carrying a surprisingly scolding tone.

Misato smiled a careful smile at Shinji, unsure what to make of this irregular behavior. “I am, comparing to most of the others. Come, we need to talk”, she requested.

“Are you sure?” Shinji eyed her hand arm in the sling again. “That you should not be under some care, I mean? They told me you were injured… but didn’t let them put you in the hospital.”

“I’ll live. It’s not broken, just fractured”, she reassured him as she opened the door. “Come in.”

Once behind the door, Shinji’s mask all but disappeared. “How is she?” he asked directly, his face dead serious.

Misato took a deep breath. _‘Here goes…’_ she steeled herself. “Alive. Whole. Kept in an artificial coma until all the tests are concluded”, she listed, seeing his relief growing with every word. “The Commander didn’t tell you?” she tilted her head.

“You know how my father is”, Shinji shrugged with a hint of contempt in his voice. “Thank you”, he added, trying his best not to let the tears flow. “How long?”

“I don’t know”, Misato admitted with dismay. “The tests are a matter of days. After that… after that, it’s Doctor Akagi’s recommendation… and the Commander’s decision.”

“We were supposed to have a date”, he stated, his voice shaking; once more he managed not to start crying, but it was clear he was pretty close.

Misato felt her heart sinking. “Shinji…” he tried to reach to him, only to see his fists ball and his head slowly rising. Suddenly, she was not seeing a scared or worried boy; he was still smaller than her, but for some reason, he seemed to be looking at her from the same level – and his eyes were not like she ever saw. Or, to be more precise, they were like the eyes she saw quite often – just not in his face.

“I want her back, Misato”, he stated firmly, his _voice_ chilling the Colonel to the bone, his eyes cold. “I know we wage war, I’m glad she’s alive **at all**, I know she needs to recover, I **know** this is not **your** decision, but as soon as she is fine, _I _**want her back** at my side. Can you arrange that? Can you help me to do that?”

_‘God, he is his father’s son–’_ Misato suddenly realized how deep the similarity reached.

“My father is still alive only because **Asuka** is alive”, he continued as she hesitated in her answer. “And I don’t want her away from me more than it is absolutely necessary.”

“Shinji”, she took a deep breath. “I… I know”, she said, trying to keep her voice under control. “About you both, I mean”, she admitted, eliciting just the smallest twitch on his face. “I… heard a few sentences too many, and I’m sorry. And… I understand you. It is not my decision… but I will talk to Doctor Akagi once the tests are done. I promise”, she declared.

“Thank you, Misato”, his eyes did not change, but his expression softened.

_‘His father’s son, but not his father… would this be Gendo if he didn’t lose his – oh. God.’_ a chilling realization finally reached her mind. _‘Asuka is Shinji’s Yui. Shinji…’_ she shivered, still seeing those eyes.

She turned away from the boy, trying to hide the paleness that suddenly covered her face.

“Your word may carry some weight with the Commander right now, too”, she spoke up, her voice hollow; some instinct was telling her it was a good idea to divert his attention from her.

“I know”, he nodded as his head dropped again. “But this will have to wait, correct? Until the recommendations are in, and for the case my father decides… incorrectly. He would not take well to… pleading, I think.”

“I suppose not”, Misato agreed. “Listen, I need to do just a few more things here, and I’ll be making use of this”, she pointed to her immobilized arm, “and going home. You can go with me.”

“I’d like that”, he nodded.

Misato had to later admit that the hurried work and the journey home were the most awkward periods of silence she ever had to endure.

And she was quite sure those eyes and this voice would haunt her in her nightmares.

***

“You gave her _nightmares_?” Asuka chuckled.

“Apparently. When we arrived here and had a moment to sit down and talk, we had a moment to talk”, Shinji explained. “She told me this was her reason to… well, do what she had to do. Well, one of the reasons.”

“Do exactly _what_, Shinji?” Asuka inquired insistently. “Argentina is not _exactly_ within _walking distance_ from Tokyo-3.”

“Rebel”, Shinji replied. “Or stage a revolution, as she prefers to call it, considering it _succeeded_. We’re no longer part of NERV. The Colonel… well, took us out.”

Asuka glared in disbelief for a few long seconds.

“You said ‘four months’”, she reminded. “What. Did. I. Miss?”

“A bit. And I’m getting to that”, he smiled.

“Before the sun sets, or we’re talking through the night”, Asuka insisted.

“Of course, darling”, he agreed with a warm smile before resuming his tale. “Don’t you need anything, though? Water, a walk to–”

“Keep. Talking”, she demanded, her eyes narrow – but her voice and expression carrying a hint of a smile.

“As you wish”, he smiled back and resumed his tale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the explanation continues. It should be done in a chapter or two.
> 
> The scene of Shinji in Gendo’s office happens sooner, because there was no reason to let Shinji stew in the cell – Gendo is actually proud (for better or worse) of him, so he wants to express that soon.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2021-04-13.


	38. Chapter 38

“Misato-san was, well, worried for you. To say the least”, Shinji continued. “And quickly realized that my well-being was heavily dependent on yours, too.”

“Let me guess, you had an _awkward_ conversation with her about our relationship?” Asuka smirked.

“Gods, you can’t _imagine_…” he rolled his eyes. “Not immediately, of course, we were too busy and too preoccupied. But when it happened… it was awkward, to say the least. Not in the beginning, though. In the beginning, we started to… air some of the issues that refused to go away just because we didn’t talk about them.”

***

_A few days after the Angel fight_

The evening in the Katsuragi household was quiet, lacking the drunken cheer Misato brought, the casual joy Shinji espoused when he was happy – and the liveliness Asuka often forced upon them, for better or worse. Still, the two dwellers were doing their best to get through the rest of the day.

“Here you are”, Shinji put the bowl in front of Misato. “Do you want me to open you a beer?”

“Thank you”, she nodded at him. “No, not right now…” she paused. “Shinji, please take your food and take a seat. We… need to talk.”

Shinji’s face twitched. Those were words that never bode well, be it between lovers or from guardian to charge. And he had a good idea of what Misato could have in mind. Still, he obliged her, knowing that while he could delay that conversation, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

“What do you need, Misato-san?” he asked as he put his bowl down.

His guardian took a deep breath, released it – and looked him straight in the eye. “I already told you I heard you two… talk before the fight, right?” she checked.

Shinji nodded, his ears quickly turning red.

“I know I shouldn’t have… but…” she took another breath. “This would not be your first date, would it? Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, sounding almost hurt.

“Believe it or not, it _would_ be the first, if you don’t count the movie nights. We really kept it at home”, Shinji carefully executed the Shikinami Technically True Maneuver. “You’d notice if we went out… this is why I was so happy for an opportunity for a _proper_ date”, his face went dark and his voice dropped as he spoke the final words.

Misato was silent for a moment, then she shook her head. “Shinji, I… I understand. But why did you hide it from me?”

“Misato-san… would you approve?” he suddenly met her gaze. “Would you approve of _us_? Would you just say ‘oh, fine’ and let us spend our nights together? Would you trust us to behave responsibly?”

Misato’s expression, almost hurt when she asked the question, suddenly changed to ponderous. “Probably not”, she admitted with a sigh. “I’d be worried you’d… well. End up as you did now.”

“Then you have your answer”, he replied matter-of-factly, with just a hint of dismay. “I’m sorry, there was just too much at stake. I… **we** felt bad about misleading you, but we had little choice. And… you didn’t ask, or paid much attention to what we did, to how we acted, right?”

Misato’s expression suddenly changed to a look of someone who had been slapped across her face. The truth of his words just _hurt_.

“I’m sorry”, she whispered, averting her gaze. “I… I was not the best guardian, was I?”

“You’re still our guardian”, Shinji stated firmly. “We’re both counting on you bringing us through all that. Yes, I’m quite sure I can speak for Asuka here, too”, he smiled a sad smile.

“Shinji, I…” a sob escaped her throat.

Shinji did not reply; there was simply no good answer to that. He just approached her and embraced her from behind, trying his best to provide as much support as he could under the circumstances.

***

“Okay, that’s a bit worrisome that she had a breakdown over this. But not _unexpected_, considering that she _was_ a bit of a sloppy guardian”, Asuka admitted. “But this is hardly _awkward_, more like _serious_ and _sad_?” she asked, her voice doubtful.

“Well, I wanted to give you the whole context”, Shinji explained. “That was… an important evening. In several ways.”

“Okay… so what happened next?” Asuka probed.

“Not going into details, she collected herself after a while… and we started to talk about… less emotional details”, he explained. “Well, less emotional for _her_.”

***

“How long has it been going?” Misato asked after a while. Her bowl was mostly empty, but her mind was far from sliding into her usual habit of capping her meal with a beer.

“A few months”, Shinji admitted. “It… took us a while to work out a way to avoid killing each other”, he quipped, still careful with his words.

“You two know what the… risks of a relationship are, right?” Misato checked.

“Asuka has a contraceptive implant if this is worries you”, Shinji replied, increasingly uncomfortable. “And… we’re not there yet”, he admitted, his ears burning; he noticed with a hit of satisfaction that Misato’s ears were slowly turning red as well. _‘Not **so** immune, are you? How does it feel to question your kids on their sex life?’_ he tried not to ask aloud.

“Still, there are numerous things–” Misato started.

“Misato-san”, Shinji suddenly interrupted. “We might be teenagers and make our mistakes, but _please_, don’t treat us like _idiots_. We had our education. We know we’re risking our lives when we pilot, and that one of us may die. I won’t lie, I’m feeling horrible right now, and I would give up _everything_ to have her back right here at this table”, he continued, his voice firm. “But I understand what happened, and I know it may happen again. Still”, he paused and took a deep breath. “I’m **_not_**_ giving her up_”, he finished with insistence.

Misato pondered his words for a moment, her face tight. “The Commander won’t like that”, she finally spoke up.

“You can’t tell him”, Shinji stated, matter-of-factly.

“Shinji, I can’t just–” she started to protest.

“You _must not_ tell him. The Commander would _gladly_ have the leverage to control me now, and Asuka would be just _perfect_”, Shinji replied with insistence. “You know, ‘be a good boy and pilot, and maybe, maybe you’ll see her again’ game”, his face twitched and the tone of his _voice_ suddenly dropped to one Misato heard in her office not so long ago. “If you haven’t noticed, my father is a _monster_. If you think I have any right to ask you for _anything_ right now… then I ask you to keep it quiet. He would abuse this opportunity, harm her, put a leash on me, and make everything far, far worse.”

“Shinji… do you know what you’re asking of me?” Misato’s gaze was an odd mix of confusion, respect, and worry. “He’s my superior. Loosely as we play with the military appearances, _we’re still military_.”

“I’m asking you to be on my side”, he replied calmly. “Does anyone know that you heard us? Is that any real risk for you?” he asked.

Misato shook her head carefully. “No, I erased your conversation from the records… and the equipment got fried anyway in the blast. It’s just… it’s a huge conflict of interest.”

“I know”, Shinji admitted, his voice sympathetic but still firm. “But can I trust you to be on my side? I don’t _entirely_ get how military logic works, Asuka tried to explain it to me a bit…” he let out a sigh. “But it did not help much, so I can only guess how hard it is for you. I just know that… that the Commander doesn’t deserve any loyalty. From anyone. Still, he commands it, somehow. And we both know that he’d _jump_ at the opportunity to leash me.”

Misato looked aside. It did not escape her attention that Shinji kept calling Gendo Ikari “the Commander” instead of “father”; for some reason, she did not find it surprising – just sad. Thoughts stormed in her head; she knew that at some point of her career she would have to reconcile the _proper_ and _legal_ in her decisions with _moral_ and _right_. It was one of those risks of being a high-ranking officer in something that was essentially a war. An unusual one, for sure, but indisputably a war.

She just did not expect something like this to happen so soon – and she sure did not expect this to concern someone whom she essentially treated as her own child. ‘_This gives the “mother to her men” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it, Misato?’_ she suddenly realized. _‘This was a mistake, to get so close to them. But it was also the only thing I could do…’_ she kept pondering. “I’ll keep the secret, Shinji”, she finally stated, immediately seeing the relief in his face. “But if you intend to continue this relationship…” she trailed off, seeing Shinji’s expression that could be only translated as a polite take on ‘what are you, stupid?’. “Since you intend to continue this relationship, we need to talk through a few things.”

“Thank you, Misato-san”, Shinji bowed his head.

“I remember someone, don’t remember who, saying something like ‘if we're going to be damned, then let's be damned for what we really are’”, she smiled a weak smile. “So… get me that beer, and let’s talk about some… details you need to know.”

“Yes, Misato-san”, he finally smiled as he headed towards the fridge.

***

“Okay, that was… wholesome”, Asuka admitted with a confused expression. “And it seems that Misato’s more a nerd than she admits to”, she chuckled.

“Why?” Shinji blinked.

“The quote is from _Star Trek_. An old science-fiction series”, she explained, seeing his quizzing expression. “Doesn’t get much nerdier than _that_”, she smirked. “So… what happened once you got the serious out of the way? I assume you didn’t spike the beer?”

“I lack the finesse of your hands, darling”, Shinji replied with a smile. “No, I just served it as it was. She didn’t notice the taste, she was just too busy.”

“Well, I would dispute that”, Asuka wiggled her eyebrows, as much as they were visible from under the dressing. “And what you lack in finesse, you surely compensate with _strength_”, she added with a wry smile.

“Asuka…” he pleaded, his face gaining a pink tone.

“What?” she shrugged. “The only thing that’s stopping me from shoving your face into my nether parts _right now _is the fact that I haven’t showered in a _while_ and might stink of LCL far too much for my own comfort”, she sniffed the skin on her hand. “Once I’m clean, I fully expect you to give me one, even before I get out of here. Or two. Or ten”, she added in a deadpan.

“Well, how could I refuse a request of such a fair and innocent maiden”, he quipped.

“Exactly”, she huffed. “Now, oblige your fair maiden and carry on with the tale.”

“As you wish”, he chuckled.

***

Misato swallowed half of her can’s content in one gulp, set the can on the table, and fixated Shinji with her glare. “Okay”, she started. “The absolutely first rule: don’t sleep around. That’s asking for trouble.”

“Misato-san…” Shinji looked at her with a doubtful glare. “First, I would _never_ do that. Second, even if by some cosmic fluke I would, I’d be dead within a day by her hand, and she’d be well within her rights to kill me.”

“Well, I guess”, Misato admitted, taking another big gulp. “What about Asuka?”

“I trust her”, Shinji stated, his voice suddenly serious. “Absolutely.”

This was clearly not the answer Misato expected; she took a deep breath and for a moment, she looked like she wanted to say something. Instead, she was silent for a few moments, her expression ponderous.

“All right”, she finally stated. “Something is telling me I should not question that”, she added as she finished the beer.

***

“I take it she didn’t tell you what went through her head that time, contrary to her musing about our place in her life?” Asuka probed.

“She never did”, Shinji confirmed. “And I didn’t ask. My best guess was _envy_.”

“Seriously?” Asuka tilted her head, her expression confused. “Of what, of trust? Isn’t that, like, the basis of a relationship?”

“For us, it is”, Shinji confirmed. “But it seems she had… different experiences.”

“Damn it. That would explain _some_ of her attitudes…” she mused. “What happened later?”

“Well, I got her another beer, she swallowed most of it within seconds”, he continued. “I handed her the third… and from then, her monologue took a… less serious turn.”

“Oh?” Asuka raised an eyebrow, checked with her awareness of her appearance, and raised the one that was actually visible.

“Well, there was something about treating you like a princess, both in bed and outside”, Shinji admitted, his blush increasing a bit. “Let’s say I had… issues with keeping a straight face.”

“And great difficulty not to say anything about preferring to treat me like an unruly schoolgirl?” Asuka quipped.

“Pretty much”, Shinji confirmed with a sly smile. “Or make a joke about giving your hand in marriage to some old guy to cement an alliance”, he added.

“That’d make you a king”, Asuka countered. “And my guess is that Misato still didn’t give you any rank?”

“None, but she claims it’s because if she did, she’d have to enforce fraternization rules”, he explained. “She said we’ll return to that once you’re awake. She mentioned some legal issues and _possible loopholes _involved. Assuming I wanted to, of course. So, for now, as everybody is concerned, I’m still a civilian.”

“Sounds reasonable”, Asuka nodded after a moment of thought. She had a general idea about what kind of _loopholes_ Misato had in mind – but she did not want to think about that too much. “Okay. So, tell me, on what low note did this evening end?”

“Not as _low_ as _dissonant_”, Shinji chuckled. “After the ‘princess’ part, she moved to the more… direct things. And made me go get a cucumber.”

“God, no”, Asuka’s palm met her face.

“Unfortunately, yes. And the worst part was that we had none”. Shinji continued, his expression increasingly grim. “But we did have, gods have mercy on our souls”, he paused dramatically, “an eggplant.”

Asuka’s face contorted in mock horror. “Were jokes about size involved?” she asked, her voice pained. “Please tell me Misato kept _some_ decency!”

Shinji’s terrified expression told her everything she needed – but dearly did not want to – know.

***

Shinji returned from the fridge with the only sufficiently phallic vegetable he could find: a particularly large eggplant. Soon after, Misato came back with a string of square packages, intently glaring at one of them.

“Damn it, this one is expired!” she grumbled. “It’s been too long since–” she interrupted, seeing the blushing face of her charge. “Don’t worry, Shinji, it’ll do for the purpose of demonstration. Now… oh. My”, she blinked as she noticed what was sitting on the table in front of him. “Asuka is _one_ _lucky_ _girl_”, she whistled.

“Misato-san!” Shinji’s blush turned into a full-blown red face. “It’s that or the lemon, and I don’t think that’d be useful!”

“Are you sure you didn’t pick it because of the size?” she wiggled her eyebrows, her darker moods from less than an hour ago completely gone.

“Misato-san…” he looked at her pleadingly. “Please, let’s get over with it.”

“Okay, okay. Now”, she managed to get the condom out of the packaging. “You squeeze the tip, put it atop…” she fumbled with the wider end of the vegetable for a moment, “and roll it down the shaft”, she managed to cover the whole length in one swift move. Shinji stopped himself from asking her where exactly she got so proficient with condoms; he was afraid he was going to get an answer in a form of a lengthy, detailed tale – a tale he was definitely **not** in the mood for.

But when the words he dreaded came – “Now, you try” – he almost wished he had asked. But knowing Misato, he knew resistance was futile. His first attempts were rather imperfect, but five – all expired, to Misato’s chagrin – condoms later, he finally managed to do it properly.

“Now, as you see, some guys’ talk of ‘I’m too big, it won’t fit’ are pure bullshit, you can fit much more without a risk of breaking”, Misato explained in a relaxed voice, pointing to a thoroughly latex-encased eggplant. “Now, that we have that covered, let’s move to the most important part!” she declared. “Namely: how to please a woman!”

***

“_Please_ tell me she didn’t try to do a live demonstration”, Asuka requested in a weak voice. “I want to respect her, really, I know she has her drunken antics, and this is still within the acceptable limits, but the thought that she might have tried to _demonstrate how to_–”

“No, no”, Shinji shook his head. “Fortunately, she didn’t. I’d have run away if she did. She just got… graphic. Literally.”

“Graphic?” Asuka tilted her head carefully.

“Well…” Shinji resumed, his ears red.

***

“…and once she is properly in the mood, **then** you can move those few inches down!” Misato gestured vaguely.

“Misato-san…” Shinji pleaded.

“Once you do, you can set out to go for the most important spot! The elusive beast! The thing most men could not find with a map and a compass!” Misato continued.

“Misato-san…” Shinji beseeched.

“What?” Misato looked at him, her expression offended. “I mean, of course, the clit!” she gestured less vaguely.

“Misato-san…” Shinji begged.

“It is located in a very obvious place, let me draw you a diagram…” Misato reached for some loose sheet of paper and a pen.

***

“Should I continue?” Shinji asked, unsuccessfully trying to contain his blush.

“Okay, I get the point”, Asuka admitted, rolling her eyes with an embarrassed smile on her face. “I’m glad it was not me, or I would have a few _warm_ words for her, considering what I know of her college life and rumors surrendering it. I take it you didn’t… keep the diagram?”

“No”, he shook his head, “I assumed I didn’t need a map, especially it was barely legible. I left it on the table for her to see in the morning, though”, he admitted with a tinge of guilt in his voice. “Just in case she tried to deny things that happened”, he finished with a smile.

“Ouch”, Asuka chuckled. “Appropriately mean and all her fault, some things really rubbed off on you”, she grinned. “What happened later?”

“Well, I managed to survive the increasingly incoherent lecture, get her to lie down, and listened to her heartfelt and horribly embarrassed apology in the morning”, Shinji continued. “And then, after nursing her relatively mild hangover, Misato went on to check on you and to question our good doctor _again_…”

***

“Rits, your judgment?” the Colonel glared at the medical containment unit that was the current place of residence for Asuka. It resembled a casket far too much for her taste.

“She’s healthy”, the doctor explained with a shrug. “We biopsied every organ and cavity we could safely stick a needle into, and a few that carried an acceptable risk. We confirmed what tomography had shown us about cellular contamination: the cells behave abnormally well for a human, but close to the baseline for a pilot. In my opinion, she’s clean… physically. And we’re at the end of what we can do with the equipment we have here and her being boxed.”

***

“Wait”, Asuka interrupted. “_Clean_? What about _this_?” she pointed to her heavily bandaged eye carrying the still-unknown threat.

“It started developing later”, Shinji explained. “Doctor Akagi used some smart term to describe it I couldn’t understand, and then gave a long explanation I can’t ever _try_ to repeat, but the gist of it is that she was not able to detect it at the time because it wasn’t _exactly_ there.”

“But she said it was _foreign tissue_”, Asuka objected. “How could it _not_ be there? Did it _hide_? Metastasized?”

“She likened it to the situation that happened with Unit-03”, Shinji continued his explanation. “The Eva was thoroughly scanned and properly inspected between its arrival and the activation – and there seemed to be nothing wrong with it until… you know.”

“Until it trapped me in a nightmare, started laughing in a really creepy fashion, and decided to kill everyone”, she nodded carefully. “I see.”

“Asuka?” Shinji gave her a quizzing glare.

“I’ll explain later”, she shook her head slowly. “Once I get all the pieces together, okay?”

“Sure”, he agreed. “So, that’s that, you may ask the doctor for the proper terminology later. All I remember is that it is _somehow_ associated with different dimensions.”

“Yay. Not only I have a possessed eye, it’s also an interdimensional possession”, she shook her head. “Or an interdimensional metastasis. Yay me. Oh well, I never signed on for a _boring_ life, as much as you can sign on for something when you’re _four_. Anyway, you were saying something about people talking over my casket.”

“The medical containment unit”, Shinji corrected with a chuckle. “But yes, it looked like that. So, as I said, the doctor gave her report…”

***

“So… what now? Do we pop the box, wake her, and give her a full psychiatric evaluation?” Misato asked.

“Not my call. We can keep her there for observation, considering that there’s little for her to pilot anyway”, Ritsuko refuted.

“We lost Unit-03, Ritsuko”, Misato reminded her dryly. “I already recommended unfreezing Unit-02 in order for us to have a full complement.”

“Ah. Right”, Ritsuko let out a resigned sigh. “Didn’t have time to go through the papers, sorry about that, too much on my head”, she remarked wryly as she pointed to the still-present, if reduced, dressing. “We missed up another temporary matter displacement test due to this attack already, and I’m still worried we missed something in her.”

“The plug was half-ejected all the battle, right?” Misato remarked, noting in her mind to ask about the test. “She **was** disconnected.”

“The plug was ejected, all right”, Ritsuko agreed. “But not immediately. The command came after the Angel went all the way from Matsushiro to the Toomi area. We don’t know much about the connection between the activation and the ejection. There’s simply no real data – **nothing** useful survived of the Angel, let alone Unit-03, all the recorders are thoroughly scrapped, we don’t have sufficient data recovery facilities – and Commander won’t let us use third-party services. Telemetry is always limited. And while the head of Unit-03 was _mostly_ intact, it was effectively severed from the core and the circulation for a while, and the recorder there, while not too badly damaged, was scrambled. The Entry Plug logs are sparse at best, they all show _some_ abnormalities when it comes to Unit-03 and the pilot, but apparently _being taken over by an Angel_ was met with _mild concern_ from the diagnostic computer”, she explained in length as she recalled some files on the screen and pointed to their final lines. “On the other hand, yes, the log shows abnormal readings from the Unit until the imperfect ejection, failed retry on that on secondary and tertiary charges, and then just repeated reconnection attempts for the entire fight…” she cross-referenced the timestamps with the battle report, “and then the no-signal indication and the emergency beacon activating”, she concluded.

Misato remained silent, just looking at Ritsuko as she seemed to be deep in thought.

“All in all”, Ritsuko resumed, “it’s your military recommendation to release the pilot and ensure full crew complement for our three Units versus my suggestion to dig deeper – and an admission that coma is hardly the best way to monitor brain activity”, she shrugged. “And finally, as with everything that vital, it’s up to the Commander’s decision. It would be easier to make a recommendation if we had Dummy Plugs tested under battle conditions… but we don’t.”

“I assume a simple field test would not suffice?” Misato probed.

“Hardly”, Ritsuko shook her head. “And with the effective loss of Matsushiro, we’d have to adjust some of the backup bases for that… or do it here, but UN would go medieval on our collective ass if we tried. Especially after… this”, she gestured in the general direction of the battle reports. “We can also grant the Makinami girl a full pilot status, or maybe just an emergency one, but this is not my call, either… and Unit-02 may or may not be a fit for her. It’s always a lottery when it comes to new pilots.”

“I’d rather not grant her anything, and I believe the Commander would refuse, either”, Misato countered. “She didn’t exactly earn his trust.”

“And yours?” Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know”, Misato replied, her tone evasive. “Certainly not to a level for me to lobby for her becoming Asuka’s _replacement_”, she shrugged. “In other words, I don’t care for her, and adjusting, calibrating, and fitting Unit-02 for a new pilot would be an exercise in tedium, and that’s the last thing we need”, she let out a heavy sigh. “So, I’d say we present our recommendations and let the top decide”, she summarized. “Correct?”

“Pretty much”, Ritsuko nodded. “But even if she gets released”, she eyed the med unit again, “she’s going to wish she was back in that box”, she continued. “She’ll be on forty-eight-hours non-stop observation first, and then visiting me twice a day so I can check whether she didn’t suddenly develop desires to burn cities – or grow a third eye.”

“Rather a second set of eyes, considering her usual Evangelion”, Misato quipped despite her low mood. “All right. Mine will be ready in an hour or two. How’s yours?”

“Maya is compiling the reports. We can file before we wrap up the day here… which will likely be somewhere in the night”, Ritsuko replied. “And if I may recommend something, you’d do good to take this medical leave, short as it is.”

“I will, once I make sure everything is in order. You have your hypercompetent assistant”, the Colonel shot a glare to a suddenly red-eared Lieutenant Ibuki, “but Commander steadfastly refuses to grant me a second. So I have to do it myself”, she let out a sigh. “Thanks, Rits”, she smiled at her friend. “For everything.”

“Just doing my work”, she shrugged as she lit up a cigarette. “Just as you do yours, the best we can, in this lovely mess we call ‘workplace’.”

Misato did her best not to breathe a too obvious breath of relief. _‘This could’ve gone far **worse’**_, she realized. _‘But if all this keeps going like this, I’ll pick the smoking habit too… stupid as it might be.’_

***

“Okay… I surely appreciate her effort. I guess thanks are in order”, Asuka nodded. “Once I’m able to walk out of here without hanging from your shoulders. I mean, I don’t mind **you** seeing me like this, but I’d rather not make this kind of the first impression on the new people around.”

“Oh, don’t worry”, Shinji smiled. “I’m sure she already knows you’re awake and will be here once she’s done with the council meeting.”

“Council?” Asuka inquired. “I thought you said _she_ is commanding here.”

“She is. The military part and, well, us. But there’s a small council consisting of her, a few other members from our side, a few village representatives, and padre.”

“Padre?” Asuka raised an eyebrow.

“There’s an old missionary here who was village medic, priest, and the wisest guy around. Long story”, Shinji explained. “I’ll get to that. So, expect her.”

“Okay. So, I know what Misato was about. And you?” Asuka asked. “What were you doing at that time?”

“Aside from being worried sick about you?” he smiled. “Well, there was still a household to run, things to do, movies to return…”

“Ah. Right”, Asuka chuckled. “Did you go to confront that bitch all by yourself?”

“Well…”

***

“Good afternoon”, Shinji greeted the clerk as he entered the movie rental store, looking rather morose.

“Good afternoon”, the clerk replied, raising her head from something she was reading below the counter. “Oh, I’m sorry, I never caught your name, it was your lady friend who did all the talking”, the clerk gave him an apologetic, if clearly amused, look. “How is she? I hope you didn’t break up?” she narrowed her eyes curiously.

“It’s Ikari”, Shinji replied, two emotions taking to the field in his mind for a moment – before he let his less pleasant side win. “Despite your… efforts, we’re fine”, he replied, eliciting a discreet chuckle from the woman. “And… she’s in the hospital”, he continued. “I’m here to return _The Godfather_.”

The clerk’s expression dropped immediately, the small smug smile all gone. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…”, she hurried with an apology as she accepted the box and scanned it.

“It’s okay”, Shinji replied. “Thank you.”

The clerk nodded in reply, her expression solemn. “There. Will you be renting anything else?”

“Not right now, thank you”, Shinji replied, his voice still low. “Maybe once she gets better. We used to watch those together”, he added in a whisper.

“Of course”, the clerk nodded again. “I hope to see you both soon”, she added in a way that sounded surprisingly sincere for Shinji.

“Thank you. Goodbye”, Shinji nodded and turned away, chased by the clerk’s farewells.

***

“Okay, that was far less crass than I expected of her”, Asuka admitted. “And… friendlier, too.”

“I know you tend to make snap judgments about people, but she _was_ pretty decent”, Shinji countered. “Except the whole… card business, that is, but I suppose this is just a part of her work”, he shrugged with a smile. “So, this was taken care of, along with several other details… so all I could do was to keep going to school and wait for the news about you. This is also when the awkward conversation I already told you about happened, and I admitted to Misato that yes, we’ve been together for a while, and yes, we’ve been sleeping together, but no, we weren’t _exactly _having sex… and she gave me the lecture you already heard.”

“And the… other part?” Asuka asked carefully.

“She never asked, so I didn’t say anything”, Shinji explained. “A bit dishonest, I know, but…”

“…lifesaving. We can claim we were protecting her sanity”, Asuka concluded. “Are you sure she doesn’t know?”

“Darling, would _you_ even _think_ of something like that, looking at us from the outside?” Shinji asked. “See it through her eyes… and try to picture _me_ giving _you_ an order… and you obeying without hesitation”, he smiled warmly at the memory, his blush returning along with the smile.

“Yeah”, Asuka’s blush returned alongside his. “Unthinkable, isn’t it?”

They looked at each other for a few seconds, doing their best to maintain poker faces – and bursting with laughter – laughter that suddenly ceased when Asuka started to cough violently.

“Fuck” she managed after the fit has passed and Shinji provided her with another glass of water. “You know you’re not at your best when _laughing_ hurts”, she took a careful deeper breath. Okay, cut on the jokes if you don’t want me to repeat that one. Keep going. What happened next?”

“Give me a moment”, Shinji started to rise from the bed.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” she raised an eyebrow, not letting go of his hand.

“To get more water for both of us”, he explained. “It’d rather not run panicked to the storage while you cough your lungs out.”

“All right, all right”, Asuka pouted and let go of his hand. “But hurry!”

“Darling, I always hurried to your side, didn’t I?” he smiled at her.

A quiet sob shook Asuka’s body as the door closed behind him. _‘That you did. And you saved me. And now you care for me as if this was the most natural thing in the world… what have I done to deserve **that**? Why aren’t you running away?’_

She took a deep breath. She knew the dark thoughts common guests in her moments of weakness. She knew that they were completely irrational, too – but this knowledge did little to stave them off. As much as she prided herself on the power of her mind, some things were not that easy to control. The only thing that reliably staved them off was the presence of someone she trusted.

And she lacked someone like that for most of her life. But now, it was different. ‘_He is still with me. He is still at my side’_, she reaffirmed, half-convicted, half-doubtful. _‘He waited for me to wake up. He takes care of me. And he still cares **for** me. Once I am strong enough again, I will be able to be at **his** side, to take care of **him** once more’_, she continued the reassuring train of thought, calming down with every statement. _‘He might not be happy about me being clingy, though… But he said he missed me, he kept the watch for so long… let’s hope he’s in the mood to keep it for a little bit longer’_, she concluded.

The dark mood remained close to her mind, stopped to be so overwhelming. This would have to do – for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to end with them going to sleep together… but the subject they felt the need to talk about suddenly grew, and so did the chapter.
> 
> The next chapter is planned for 2021-04-25 and will contain the rest of the evening, even if I have to send them to bed with doctor’s orders. There will be at least one more chapter of the catching-up, and then the romantic plot can continue.


End file.
